"A toast!" Stacey Dash proudly says holding up a champagne glass. "Finally, after damned near twenty years, we have finally out grown the Clueless good girl stereo type." Stacey clinks glasses with Alicia Silverstone then they gulp down a swig.
Alicia chuckles. "You've done it better than I have lately. That picture supporting Mit Romney has certainly caused an uproar."
Stacey laughs aloud. "Everybody that doesn't like it can kiss my ass. That includes Vivica Fox. Bad girl sure gets a lot more attention and get offered better roles than good girls. What about you? are you ready to get back in the ring and team with me?"
"Sounds like fun, but I don't think so. I think I'm done with catfighting at this point in my life." Alicia explains. "I really want to do Broadway right now. All things considered, I'm retired from catfighting."
"Well if anybody can walk away, it is you." Stacey answers supportively. "You've had a brilliant, but short catfight career. Check it out, your debut match in the Battle Zone, you defeat former Hardcore Champion, Jeri Ryan. You beat her down then pinned her by putting one foot on her tits and posing." Stacey says joyfully reminiscing her long time friend's success. "Your second match you made former War Queen and Hardcore champion, Salma Hayek submit, confess that you were the better wrestler and cry! Then you kicked another former War Queen's ass, Alyssa Milano, dominated her and took her Bootylicious Title in your third match. The Fab Four sent their best after you. They sent Hall of Famer Tia Carrere, and another former War Queen and Hardcore Champion Halle Berry after you, and neither of them could get the job done. Both of them got ass smothered out. If you didn't run against Christina Applegate while she was in her prime, you would have won the War Queen title. Jenny McCarthy says if Christina didn't see you as a threat to her title, you would have been in the ABA back then." Stacey pauses. "You can retire with no regrets."
Alicia wears a sly smile as Stacey sings her accolades. It awakens feelings and emotions in the sexy blonde, that she thought she had dismissed long ago, as Stacey had actually expected. "Well I have one regret" Alicia confesses. "Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie refereed my match against Halle Berry. I won the match, and stripped Halle naked while she was out. I was about to shave her pussy, but Angelina stopped me. I swore I would get her one day, but never did. That was a crucial moment. The ABA had already taken out Pam Anderson and Tia Carrere. J.Lo was suffering from The Curse of Aguilera and was an emotional wreck. If I could have broken Halle at that point, the Fab Four would have crumbled. I could have taken out the Fab Four. Now that is a legacy to leave behind. I never repaid Angelina for stopping me that night, and always wanted to."
"Why don't you do it?" Stacey encourages. "Have one last match and go out in a blaze of glory. Take on Angelina, break that boney bitch in half, strip her naked, shave her pussy and make her lick your feet and kiss your ass."
It was an extremely tempting offer for Alicia. She has never liked Angelina. They have known each other for years, and began their careers about the same time. Alicia could never put her finger on why she did not like Angelina. It was probably her attitude, her air, something about her exuded arrogance, and Alicia hated it. The thought of getting her hands on Angelina was the most exciting idea she has heard in a very very long time.
Alicia had to pause and bites her bottom lip as she carefully considered her scenarios. Alicia always keep herself in top physical shape. She can easily physically compete. Alicia was worried about being rusty. Angelina has reputation of being a top fighter, although she rarely competes anymore. However Angelina has looked pretty mediocre in her last few outings. Angelina got roughed up in her last match, a triangle match against Charisma Carpenter and the debuting Megan Goode. That could have been a fluke though do to the chaotic nature of a triple threat match. In the end though, Alicia wants to kick Angelina's ass too bad.
"What the hell" Alicia says, "I'll do it."
Everything went wonderfully and surprisingly smooth from there for Alicia. Stacey and her ABA leader, Demi Moore pulled the appropriate strings to get the matched booked as the feature match of the STONE RAGE HALLOWEEN BASH! with no problems at all. Alicia was impressed by their pull in the league, she never had that even when she was the Bootylicous Champion. Second Angelina accepted the match without any questions or demands.
Alicia trained for the match with Stacey, all under Demi's watchful eye, and advice. Alicia felt good and actually learned a lot from the grizzled veteran, Demi. Alicia did not tell anyone that she planned on this being her last match. She left that secret between her and Stacey. However Stacey used it as a motivating point frequently during training. Alicia also had fun promoting the fight. For some reason, Angelina had it in her contract to do the bare minimum in engagements to promote the fight. She could get away with it, because her name alone, Angelina Jolie, is enough to insure a sellout almost regardless of the opponent. Alicia got the full focus of the promotion and the full attention of the press. She loved it.
This year's STONE RAGE HALLOWEEN BASH! is just like all the other had been, a stone cold, fun, jager bomb blast! Stone Rage came as his royal badness Prince. He even did a karaoke version of "Let's Go Crazy" and "Darling Nikki". Kim Kardashian and Kanye West caused a stir, dressed as Batman and Catwoman. Selita Eubanks made a sexy little red devil. Paris Hilton wore a feathered and sequined outfit. No one was quite sure what it was supposed to be other than skimpy and sexy. Christina Milian turned heads with her rump showing in her Queen of Hearts costume. Jenny McCarthy looked comfortable in her biker girl costume.
The party was if full steam, when time for the main event match arrived. The DJ/MC announces, "What's up yall? Stone Rage just gave me an announcement. He has added a Halloween Trick or Treat surprise to this match! In honor of the soon to come XXX division, that will feature porn stars battling, Stone has named a special guest referee. Please welcome bondage queen, and long time adult film legend, Darla Crane!" Immediately from out of the back, bosom red head, Darla Crane struts from behind the curtains heading for the ring. She is wearing a black and white striped corset over black lace lingerie for her officiating uniform. Most fans see the buxom red head as definitely an appealing treat rather than a trick.
"Now It's time to bring the first Sexy... Hot... Bloodsucking Vampires to the ring!" The DJ bellows over the mic. "Oh Alicia.... Come on down!" Alicia saunters from behind the curtain wearing a black, slinky sexy dress. She smiles and displays a pair of fangs for a sexy vampire costume. She had wings connected from her arms to her sides to make a hot bodacious vamp.
A few moments later after Alicia is in the ring, the DJ shouts, "We can't forget about our other sexy vampire. The Unforgettable Angelina Jolie... Come on down!" Angelina makes her entrance. She too is wearing a slinky black silk dress. Angelina bares her fangs to show she too is a vampire this Halloween. Angelina's costume has a long flowing black cape down her back with a high collar. Angelina accessorizes with long black gloves that come up to her elbows. Angelina enters the ring to the roar of the crowd. A much louder response than Alicia. That fed Alicia's animosity towards her rival. Angelina seems oblivious of her seething opponent.
After allowing the competitors to get settled in, Alicia and Angelina take off their sexy dresses and fangs to get ready for battle. For functionality of the match, each lady undress down to black bra and panties with black panty hose. Angelina chose fishnet hose, where Alicia wore a sheer pair. This wardrobe allows each brawler maneuverability. Besides both of them look smoking hot in this attire. The girls stretch in their corner, ready for action. Renown ring announcer, Michael Buffer walks to the center of the ring with a microphone.
"Now it's time for the most anticipated part of the evening." Michael Buffer starts speaking in his incomparable smooth tone. "A once in a lifetime confrontation. Are you ready?" Michael lowers the microphone from his lips for a couple of seconds. "Catfight fans, are your rrrrrrrrrrrrready?!??!" Michael again pauses. "For the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching around the world, from the Mandalay Bay in Fabulous Las Vegas. Ladies and gentlemen... LET"S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!"
"First in the orange corner" Buffer says extending his arm toward Alicia. "She is an actress, an author, and an animal and environmental activist. She is famous for roles in, The Crush, Clueless, and Batman and Robin. She has been voted 'The World's Sexiest Vegetarian' by PETA. and the former Bootylicious champion, fighting out of San Francisco, California, Alicia Silverspoon!"
Alicia throws both arms in the air and thrust her chest out as the fans roar at the sound of her name. Alicia bathes in the fan's warm response. She turns around to acknowledge the fans behind her and find some more adulation. After Angelina's hearty response earlier, Alicia took extra time to rub Angelina's nose in her response.
Alicia slowly turns back around to face the others in the ring. As she does Angelina charges out of her corner. She blows past Michael Buffer and Darla Crane and blasts Alicia with a running clothesline. The unsuspecting blonde is knocked for a loop by the bruiser. Seeing that there is no need for any further introduction, Michael Buffer makes a hasty retreat out of the ring. Meanwhile Darla calls for the bell, seeing the action is now underway.
Angelina starts hauling a dazed and confused Alicia to her feet by her hair. Angelina quickly directs Alicia's face into the nearby turnbuckle. Angelina watches as Alicia's face bounces off the turnbuckle, and her opponent drop to one knee. Angelina seizes Alicia's hair and immediately snatches Alicia back to her feet. Angelina roughly ushers Alicia to the next corner and slams the blonde's face into that corner. When Alicia's head bounces up and she turns around, Angelina greets her with a kick to Alicia's upper thigh. Alicia cringes in the corner. Darla is shouting at Angelina to give Alicia a clean break. Instead Angelina gives Alicia another nasty kick. Darla gives Angelina a shove back. Darla and Angelina exchange mean stares as Angelina grabs Alicia by the arm and pulls her out of the corner.
Angelina guides Alicia out to the middle of the ring. Poor Alicia has nowhere recovered from Angelina's initial blitzkrieg. Angelina tucks Alicia's head under her arm, forcing Alicia in a doubled over position. Angelina draws her right leg back and harshly thrusts her knee up into Alicia's stomach. Angelina repeats the move three times, getting a loud bark out of Alicia each time. Then Angelina puts her foot behind Alicia's leg and pushes the blonde over backwards, tripping her at the same time. Alicia lands hard on her back to the mat.
Alicia realizes that she is systematically being taken apart one piece at a time. She springs up to her hands and knees and scurries away from Angelina. Alicia reaches the safety of the corner and uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. Alicia turns and finds Angelina right there. Angelina kicks Alicia in the chest, knocking the blonde back into the corner. Angelina follows with a second kick to Alicia's belly. Then Angelina steps up on the bottom rope with her left foot and extends her right leg up until her right foot is lodged against Alicia's throat, choking her victim. Darla quickly applies a five count for Angelina to stop the illegal choke. Angelina holds onto the top rope for leverage as her legs are spread wide in an obtuse angle to reach high enough to press against Alicia's throat. Angelina breaks the choke hold just before Darla reaches the end of her five count.
Angelina steps back innocently. Darla quickly gets up in Angelina's face to give her a lecture about the rules and who is in charge for the match. Darla reminds Angelina she can easily be disqualified for her actions. Alicia looks on dreamingly in the corner in disbelief. She cannot believe that her great day, her last match, her moment in the sun, her last hurrah has been an unmitigated disaster so far.
Angelina breaks off her lecture with Darla as quick as possible and seizes her lazy eyed opponent by the arm. Angelina whips Alicia across the ring headed for the opposite corner. During the trip, Alicia swears that this match is not going down like this. She swears she will not be dominated, especially by this woman. Alicia reminds herself that she is a former champion, and Angelina has never reached that lofty achievement. In short Alicia decides that the course of this epic tale is about to change.
Alicia is racing across the ring, heading to the opposite corner with Angelina in pursuit right behind her, looking to land a splash or some other devastating assault. As Alicia reaches the corner, she leaps onto the middle rope. Then she uses the rope to spring off, do a backflip, flipping over Angelina as she comes charging into the corner in hot pursuit, and land upright on two feet. Angelina unsuspectingly crashes into the turnbuckle tits first. Angelina's magnificent breasts take the brunt of the impact and bounces Angelina back out of the corner. Alicia is there as Angelina stumbles out and turns around. Alicia goes low, taking Angelina down by taking Angelina's feet out from under her with her legs in a drop toe hold. Angelina is caught totally unawares. She is instantly tripped up and falls flat on her face, without the awareness to break her fall. Angelina’s chin and nose take all the impact.
Alicia sees a grand opening. Angelina's is flat on her face, holding her mouth and nose. Her body language was stiff, showing she is stunned. Alicia drops down and quickly rolls Angelina on her back for the quick pin. Alicia thinks, what an epic way to end the match. A stunning one move KO of Angelina. Then Alicia would be free to humble, strip, humiliate and eventually break the great Angelina Jolie. What a grand finally! However it is disrupted as Angelina kicks out at the one and a half count.
Alicia pops straight up to her feet. "Get up!" Alicia demands, looking down at Angelina. "Get up you homewrecking slut! I've been waiting for years to kick your flat, over rated ass. Come on you pompous shit, I'm going to smear you all over the mat!"
Angelina gets up slowly and deliberately while still holding her nose. Once standing, her hands fall to her sides and her hands ball into fist. Angelina stands looking at Alicia in utter contempt. She is breathing hard like a steam engine, and looks like she is about to explode. Alicia's tirade has obviously struck a nerve in Angelina. Alicia laughs practically in Angelina's face. "What's the matter bitch?" Alicia purrs. "Got your panties in bunch......"
The final word had not even left Alicia's lips before Angelina exploded with a forearm shot to Alicia's jaw, decking Alicia. As Alicia scrambles back to her feet, Angelina grabs the blonde's arm to whip Alicia across the ring. However the solid blonde puts on the brakes and stands fast stopping the slender Angelina in her tracks. Alicia reverses the whip and sends Angelina toward the ropes, However just as Alicia was about to release Angelina with her left hand, Alicia's right hand shoots out and snatches a handful of Angelina's hair and jerks her back. The slender Angelina is snatched off her feet like a rag doll. Angelina's feet fly in the air, and she lands on the back of her head with her limbs a akimbo.
Angelina's body bounces on the canvas like a stick being thrown to the ground. She gets to her hands and knees and starts crawling away from Alicia. The blonde gives Angelina an insulting kick in the ass as she scurries away. Angelina reaches the safety of the corner, and starts to stand, while still holding the back of her head. Mid way up, Alicia clobbers Angelina over the head again. Alicia grabs a handful of hair and snatches the yielding woman upright. Alicia climbs on the middle ropes, towering over and trapping Angelina in the corner, then starts raining punches down on Angelina's face and head.
Alicia capitalizes on the situation until the always deadly Angelina grabs Alicia around the thighs, and slams the blonde backwards. It was the total effect of a Power Bomb. Alicia lands flat on her back with the back of her head dribbling on the canvas like a basketball. Angelina falls on top of an unmoving blonde and gets an easy three count from the busty referee, Darla.
Angelina stands and looks down at the flattened blonde in disgust as she brushes her hair from her face with her hand. Next Angelina purposely walks out of the ring. Angelina walks to a ringside official, and grabs the person by the shoulder and recklessly throws the person out of chair. Angelina steals the person's folding chair. Angelina promptly walks back to ringside and tosses the chair into the ring. Next Angelina slides into the ring after the chair. Alicia is starting to recover. She is rubbing her head, and rolling from side to side. Darla starts admonishing Angelina for entering the ring with a potential weapon. Angelina gives the referee a menacing scowl and kicks the chair closer to Alicia. Darla decides discretion is the better part of valor. After all, the match is over and her job is done.
Angelina reaches down and pulls the dazed blonde to her feet. Angelina tucks Alicia's head under her arm then falls backwards, DDTing Alicia's head into the metal chair. Alicia's head clangs on the chair and knocks her out cold instantly. Angelina sits up looking around with a feral look in her eyes. After brushing the hair from her eyes with her hand, Angelina gracefully glides up to her feet. Angelina stands with her chest puffed out, then gazes down at the lump of blonde wreckage lying unmoving on the mat. Darla drops to her knees to check on the lifeless lump of flesh.
Angelina calls for a microphone, and the staff quickly gives her one. Angelina continues wearing a mean scowl as she addresses the audience. "One year ago today, at last year's STONE RAGE HALLOWEEN BASH! I fought in a Triple Threat Wonder Woman match. During that match Charisma Carpenter put me through a table, and Meagan Good attacked me after the match and stripped me down. I came back this year to make a statement, that Angelina Jolie is nobody to be played with. I'm sick and tired of people in this league selling me short! If you're trying to make a name off of me, then you'll end up like this dumb chick right here!" Angelina says while pointing down at the blonde lump of flesh lying sleeping with a metal chair as a pillow. "So if Charisma Carpenter, Megan Good, Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz or any other bitch in this league wants some of me, you are welcome to come get some. But be careful what you ask for. You might end up like that stupid bitch right there." Angelina says pointing down at Alicia. Then Angelina throws the mic down like spiking a football and storms out of the ring.
There are several seconds of ominous silence as Angelina's words and threat reverberates through the party hall. When Angelina is half way back to her dressing room, the silence is cut by the Dj restarting the music. ♫ "Duh! Duh! Da Duh Duh.... Ompa Gangnam Style! Heeeeyyyyyyy Sexy Lady!"♫ The infectious, viral song starts playing. Instantly, subconsciously, even instinctively and addictively, Angelina's hips start switching to the beat as she finishes walking to her dressing room. Within thirty seconds most things are forgotten. A few seconds later like mindless zombies, most everybody at the party find themselves hopping around in circles while waving their right arm in circles and their left arm bent at chest level. Nobody knows why they are doing it. All they know it is hypnotic, it is awesome, it is hella fun.
Almost in obscurity of the party in progress, Darla helps Alicia out of the ring and back to her dressing room. Alicia's head was down from humility and lowliness. It was not because of her defeat. It is because she realizes her true stature in this league. This was not a clash of titans. This was not an epic battle between superstars. This was not even a grand finally. It is just a superstar making a routine statement at the expense of a lesser star. All Alicia's past glory, respect and reputation is just that, past. This realization is Alicia's worst pain of the night.
Alicia dressed alone in her dressing room. She did not even want her longtime friend Stacey Dash there. She needed some time alone. An hour later, Alicia joins Stacey at her table at the party. "Alicia I'm so sorry I suggested this match. This is all my fault. This a horrible retirement match." Stacey apologizes.
"Retirement match?" Alicia asks. "Did you see what Angelina did to me. There's no way I'm retiring now. I want to join Stimulus Package with you. Together we'll kick some ass. Nobody will expect the Clueless Girls until it's too late. I want to ass smother Halle Berry out again. I want the Fab Four scared of me again. I want a championship belt back around my waist. Most importantly, I want to wring Angelina Jolie's neck! Are you down?" Alicia asks Stacey.
"Hell yeah!" Stacey quickly answers. "Clueless girls and good girls no more, here's to two sophisticated bitches" Stacey says holding up a glass of wine. Alicia takes her class and completes the toast and vow.
Following the party, Demi Moore was more than welcome to welcome Alicia into the ABA syndicate, Stimulus Package. Because of Alicia's several past victories and torment of the Fab Four Jenny McCarthy and the other bosses in the ABA instantly made Alicia a made woman. Alicia's future and championship quest are now underway. At least that was the plan until that secret meeting changed everything..............................
TO BE CONTINUED
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO ANGELINA JOLIE TO ALICIA SILVERSTONE
TO STACEY DASH