Goldie Hawn vs Jill St John (1971) by Simguy 03-Jun-00

Before: Hawn is one of the great could'a been stories of celebrity boxing lore. Blessed with maybe the best boxing legs the sport had ever seen, Goldie seemed to have unmatched physical talents enabling her to employ a wildly effective style of brawling few if any could emulate. Her lack of killer instinct, coupled with a genuine respect for most of her opponents, held Goldie back in many fights she should have won, although she had no compunction about hurting bullies like Jill St John. The ferocious red head had made her name as a heartless vixen, delighting in mismatches and often dishing out un-called for beatings in several of her fights. It was with great pleasure that Goldie crossed the pond to face St. John on her own turf, vowing to teach Jill a lesson she would never, ever forget. Jill in her purple 'Diamonds are Forever' bikini, Goldie in yellow.

R1: No thought was given to defense as the girls leapt at each other, bringing their punches from well behind their bodies in a crashing display of heart-stopping, free swinging mayhem. The girls would over commit, often stumbling off balance after misses, other times clocking each other with surprising force when a looping right, or leaping left would land to the head. St. John would get the better of the round late, engaging Goldie in a windmilling exchange center ring and banging her fists off Hawn's available face as the blonde grew wobbly at the bell.

R2: Ignoring her corner's instructions, Goldie Hawn hopped out to do battle as the girls bent into go-home right hands, swooping in and out at each other with every blow. In the hectic action, St. John caught Goldie lunging in with a diving right to the face, bending low on follow through as Hawn pitched face first to the canvas. Hawn looked a sure KO victim, and was no where near ready to continue when the ref waved a grinning St. John forward. For two minutes, Jill St. John ravaged Goldie Hawn, POUNDING the blonde along the ropes to the corners with savage lefts and rights from the hips. With lidded eyes, Hawn swooned, but refused to go down, hands low, legs braced, she survived the round to take St. John's best leather in a brutal second round.

R3: Hawn battered sleepy - Jill arm weary - the two brawlers waltzed in a tight clinch, tumbling along the ropes and slapping at one another as each waited for second winds. St. John got cheap inside, using her forearm against Goldie's throat or lacing the blonde roughly when she could fold Hawn forward. Tough round was scored a draw, but the wear was showing on Goldie as the blonde's face was swollen, sore looking after 3.

R4: Goldie would recuperate first, lifting her fists from her thighs to curl them into Jill's curvy body. St. John didn't like the tummy work, crossing her arms and blustering forward, but Goldie was able to light her up with unlikely punches while going backward, digging her fists in underhanded arcs to the open sides of the red head, skidding blows across St. John's kidneys. Goldie with the shutout looked rejuvenated as Jill started to fade.

R5: Goldie only got stronger, now using lateral movement and looping her uppercuts and hooks as St. John bent forward at the waist, gloves at her lips. This was Hawn at her best, slugging with a carefree smile, over-swinging like an amateur, but catching St. John unawares with return shots because her freakish balance meant she was almost always in position to punch. Hawn was pot-shotting, rarely if ever jabbing and late in the round, a hammering right hand to the solar plexus buckled St. John's legs, nearly producing the knockdown. Jill would be saved by the bell, and worried trainers stretched her ribs as the red head gasped open mouthed, hands out on the ropes in an effort to force air into her weeping lungs.

R6: The action grew sloppy as Jill looked to clinch, headlocking and tackling Goldie to the canvas to open the round. Both girls fought in close, draping a left around the other girl's waist or shoulders, and scrubbing away with busy right hands inside. Another round as a draw, but St. John had succeeded in re-establishing her grinding style.

R7: Jill St. John scraped out a tough seventh, putting her mouth on Goldie's shoulder and digging furiously with both hands to the blonde's belly. Goldie pushed and slugged back as both girls leaned in, backsides jiggling maniacally as neither would take a backward step. St. John would finally succeed in pushing Goldie to the ropes, palming the blonde's face to straighten Hawn and punishing her body with clubbing blows to the bell.

R8: St. John got into one of those brawling rhythms, punching with Goldie, but just beating her to the punch, and Hawn began to unravel. Faltering backwards, Goldie's eyes began to swim and her punches lost their zip as St. John waded forward, landing lefts and rights in the horizontal plane to the blonde's mouth. Midway through the round, as Hawn refused to clinch or defend herself, St. John beat Goldie to the hook and sat the blonde down, nearly falling on top of the Goldie heap at her feet. Once again, Hawn appeared ruined, but on trembling legs, she got to her feet, swayed against the ropes, raised her mitts and withstood a savage pounding as Jill St. John went all out to finish. Hawn was battered unrecognizable, but St. John was spent, mouth breathing and trembling as she stumbled back to her corner at the bell.

R9: Another exhausted clinch opened this round as St. John looked to hold Goldie and hopefully recover for the 10th. Battered as she was, Hawn began to muscle her foe back, winning the grappling war by bending Jill across the ropes, then hunkering down to lay in methodical right hands to the red head's left side. St. John's legs buckled, and her lips pulled back in a desperate snarl - she was shot and stumbled to the neutral corner in an exhausted panic. Goldie walked her down with hands at her hips, pushing straight lefts and rights at St. John as the red head bent forward over her legs. The beat down was on as Goldie jerked the right uppercut into Jill's face, then spanked a sweeping left across the red head's back. Over and over the tired, but harsh blows splashed across the wavering redhead, and with seconds left in the round, Jill St. John collapsed. Lying on her face, she would not beat the count. A stunned and spent Goldie Hawn staggered mindlessly about the ring before her corner men collected her - winner by KO9.

After: A back and forth brawl that saw both women down, but Hawn would show the heart that was her trademark, as well as wacky punching power from all angles. St. John would later remark that she beat herself, underestimating the blonde ditz' capacity to withstand punishment. It was a card that Hawn would be able to play her entire career, making her one of the most underrated girls in celebrity boxing history. 1