I returned to my favorite calendar rack and found all of the catfight calendars (I thought) to be sold out. But as I searched through the stack of "Great American Grandmothers", I found, to my elation, a last copy of the 2009 Sharon Stone Catfight calendar buried in the back. You can imagine my excitement. The cover featured an exquisite close up of Sharon standing topless in a black silk thong, her curvy legs cruelly locked around Demi Moore's sobbing face who is kneeling helplessly beneath her. I'll share the calendar with you the best I can.
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"To my fans,
Hope 2009 finds you healthy and happy. The same cannot be said, however, for most of my opponents in this calendar. They tried their best; it wasn't their fault; but I happened to be too much woman for them to handle. As you flip through the year though, you'll see I don't win them all. But who does? However, you may rest assured that every hotly contested battle in this calendar was REAL and the photos were taken while one of us was on the verge of submitting. The important thing to convey as I guide you through the new year is - that NO ONE enjoys a wild and steamy catfight more than me!. I hope you enjoy.
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January- Sigourney Weaver - 1990.
Photo- Shot at a cocktail party where Sigourney is laid out on the tile floor in her low cut green evening gown. Sharon is dressed in a red blouse, her matching miniskirt dropped and hugging her ankles. Her butt is gyrated outward in her baby blue panties above her victim. She has her hand to her mouth. Her expression is one of feigned surprise but unmistakably mischievous.
"I saw this fight as a changing of the guard. Sigourney was known as one of the toughest actresses in Hollywood while I was considered an upstart. She was baiting me into a fight the entire evening and was being a real pain in the ass. So after knocking her to the floor, I snapped my butt into her jaw and knocked her unconscious. Wanted MY ass to be a pain to HER for a change. I once suggested a rematch when I ran into her a few months later. She wanted no part of it. I knew I owned her."
February - Teri Hatcher - 1994.
Photo- Shot in a park. Sharon, dressed in a silver and black tank top and shorts has Teri stripped to her yellow bra and panties. Sharon is standing with her hands yanking the brunette's hair. Teri is on her butt, her legs spread wide while her hands are clutching Sharon's and trying to pry them loose. She appears to be screaming as the blond swings her about by her raven tresses.
"We just happened to be jogging from different directions and slowed down to chat. One thing led to another. It shows a catfight can originate at any time and under the most innocuous circumstances. Needless to say, I kicked her ass all over the park. I looked back at her and couldn't help laughing as I continued my jog. She was bawling and stamping her feet like a baby who just had her candy snatched away."
March- Robin Givens - 1991.
Photo- Shot in a bank lobby. Sharon, in a kelly green blouse and miniskirt and Robin sporting a red blouse with black shorts are lying on the carpeted floor with Sharon on top. Robin is kicking at Sharon's back while the blond punches her face.
"I just took a moment to leave my place in line to grab a deposit slip. Robin, who was behind me, refused to let me in ahead of her. What a bitch she was! We really got into it. By the time it was finally broken up, I had her beaten. My fists pummeled her face and I scratched her eyes. She was still moaning after I was pulled off of her."
April- Demi Moore - 1990.
Photo- Shot in a luxurious hotel suite. Sharon is standing erect bare breasted with hands on hips in a black silk thong. She is staring ahead, a slight Mona Lisa smile on her lips. Her breasts are sweat- glistened and her shapely thighs locked in a vice grip around Demi's face. Sharon's curvaceous legs are wonderfully captured, her thigh muscles flexing noticeably in this close up shot. The brunette, topless in white cotton panties and knee socks, is looking up at her lovely tormentor, her teary eyes pleading for Sharon to release her. Her nose appears to be caught in Sharon's thong. She is crying and drooling from the corners of her mouth.
"I ran into Demi at a costume party. We both had a crush on a producer named Al. The story of how I dominated her that evening is well documented but not complete. After I kicked her ass in her hotel suite, I tied our wrists to a rope and dragged her back downstairs where I humiliated her in front of all the guests. I then sat at the bar with Al and yanked her onto my lap.
"I just loved tormenting the arrogant bitch in front of him. I made sure my tan skirt slipped above my black silk thong as I wrapped my thighs around her bottom. I made sure Al could see my sexy woman's underwear in contrast to Demi's girly white cotton panties. "Is my skirt too short, Al?" I teased. I would often flex my legs around her in a very subtle way as I laughed and joked with him. I would catch Demi's contorted face out of the corner of my eye as I squeezed.
"Something wrong, Demi?" I would ask. I had the time of my life!
"To make a long story short, I purposely left my shoes in her suite so I would have an excuse to visit her again later that evening. I wanted so much to thoroughly dominate the little bitch in front of Al. It was part of our plan. I allowed her to leave with him and lead him to her room. You should have seen the expression on her face after I knocked on her door and Al let me in! I pretended I just stopped in to retrieve my shoes. But as you may have guessed, I spent the rest of the evening dominating her and proving to Al who the REAL woman was between us. There's something about finishing off an opponent by working my naked thigh muscles around them that makes me feel especially sexy."
May- Jennifer Garner - 2006.
Photo- Shot in a dressing room. Sharon, dressed in a white unbuttoned blouse, her matching miniskirt pulled down her legs revealing her cream white panties, is kneeling helplessly against the wall. Jennifer, topless in a flaming red thong, hands on her hips, is rubbing her exquisite derriere in the blonde’s face, a slight smirk escaping from her lips as she twists to look back at her sobbing victim.
"I should not have tangled with Jennifer. She was in her mid thirties while I was in my late forties. She proved a real tigress and really kicked my ass. But she didn't have to humiliate me before she left by taking time to wiggle her ass in my face."
June- Anne Hathaway - 2006.
Photo- Shot in an airport corridor. Sharon, in a powder blue pin striped business suit and tie, has Anne, in a peach blouse and miniskirt, sliding down against the wall, pain etched on her face. Sharon is finishing a barrage of punishing body blows.
"After my loss to Garner, I began working out intensely. I needed to prove I was still...well...Sharon Stone. Anne gave me the opportunity when we got into an argument while waiting to board for our flight. I suggested we take it down the hall. She proved to be a very tough opponent and I'm sure she believed she had me beaten. But I smashed her with all I had, snapping savage blows to her body. I eventually found she couldn't take it. After one such barrage, she slid to her knees groaning. Then, as I stood over her, I watched her fall on her face sobbing. Felt elated to prove my dominance again. I never did see her board the plane."
July- Yancy Butler - 1995.
Photo- Shot in an apartment. Sharon, in a lavender bra and panties, has Yancy, topless in a tan miniskirt, forced on her lap. Sharon has Yancy sobbing and begging as she applies a devastating leg scissors around her waist.
"Yancy was supposed to be the new Hollywood toughwoman. She started with me because I happened to be with her boyfriend. Had no idea he was dating her. But once she attacked me, I knew I was fighting for survival against a real wild woman. But before it was over, it was I who proved to be the tougher and wilder female. I ended up kicking her ass and forced her to submit to me with a crushing leg scissors around her waist. I was so angry I forced her to apologize to me and beg for awhile before I finally released the sobbing bitch."
August- Tia Carrere - 1995.
Photo- Shot on a beach. Tia, topless in a purple bikini, is crawling on her knees lunging at Sharon who is bare breasted in a turquoise bikini. Tia has the blond crawling on her belly. Sharon's panties are halfway down her butt as she desperately tries to escape from the Hawaiian beauty. Tia is yanking Sharon toward her by her panties as she moves to mount on her butt.
"It all started over a competitive game of beach volleyball. My side was winning and she didn't like it. We started arguing over some close calls. We decided to settle it woman to woman. It went back and forth but her martial arts skills proved more advanced than mine. She hurt me with several kicks and punches. Then she had me groveling beneath her on the sand.
"I crawled on my belly as I tried to escape from her. But she pulled me toward her by my panties and mounted on top of me. She twisted me in several awkward positions as we battled for leverage. I felt her bigger breasts and hard nipples imposing on mine. I tried my best to fight her off but was already weakened by her snapping blows. Then she mounted on my butt again and applied a sleeper hold. I felt the front of her thighs pressing against the back of my thighs. Her fingers applied pressure around my neck and I felt myself getting woozy and losing consciousness. When I woke up, my teammates were kneeling around me and eventually helped me up. I'd fight her again if I had to but have to admit she proved to be one savage Island warrior woman."
September- Kim Basinger - 1992.
Photo- Shot in the bedroom of a cruise ship. Sharon is nude but her body is partly covered by Kim as they struggle on their knees at close quarters. Sharon is dominating Kim who is dressed in a yellow and white nightgown, her white panties partially revealed. Sharon has her opponent in a crushing head lock.
"It was brewing throughout the entire cruise. She really thought she could beat me up. I was lying nude on my bed when she attacked me without notice. I soon took control of her though, and wrestled her into submission with a lethal head lock. Then I stuffed my bra in her mouth and tied her to the bedpost. I kept her a captive in my cabin for the remainder of the trip. Coldly ignoring her was a real pleasure for me. After all, it was supposed to be a pleasure cruise. At least one of us had fun, Kimmy dear."
October - Demi Moore - 2006.
Photo- Shot on a gym wrestling mat at Kim and Ginny's Gym and Lounge. Demi, bare breasted in a black thong with gold trim has Sharon, topless in a silver thong with pink trim, wrestled snugly on her lap. Demi has Sharon totally dominated. Her biceps and forearms are crushing Sharon's breasts while her muscular thighs flex like a boa constrictor just below Sharon's thong. Sharon, squirming and helpless, is bawling as her shapely and powerful brunette nemesis methodically crushes her into submission.
"It was one of the most humiliating days of my life. I had lied to Kim and Ginny earlier that afternoon by telling them Demi was afraid to fight me and that I was easily her master. But I never mentioned that she had a string of dominating victories over me since I first humiliated her. Little did I know she would show up and I would be forced to wrestle her.
"I fought my best but she overpowered me and wrestled me on her lap. She had really developed her body since our first fight many years ago. I felt helpless and humiliated as she rubbed it in in front of everyone present at the gym and lounge. As she squeezed me like a dish rag, I was forced to beg her to stop. I felt so ashamed submitting to her in front of Kim, Ginny, and everyone else at the lounge after what I had told them. Her muscular thighs flexing just under my thong made me burst into tears like a little school girl."
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO DOMINATE YOU, SHARON, BEFORE YOU FINALLY LEARN TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?" she shouted. I was begging her to let me go, but she had to milk me for all I was worth. She finally stopped crushing my body, but did she stop humiliating me? Of course not! She just forced me over her lap and dealt me a demeaning spanking! I felt thoroughly mastered by her."
"CAN'T YOU FIGHT ME JUST ONCE, SHARON, WITHOUT WETTING YOUR PANTIES?" she broadcasts to everyone. She pushed me off of her and walked out. I remained on the mat bawling loudly while everyone watched. It was very difficult for me to look anyone there in the eye for some time after. I felt so ashamed!"
November- Kate Beckinsale - 1999.
Photo- Shot in a phone booth in London. Sharon is dressed in a red blouse and miniskirt while Kate wears a blouse and miniskirt of blue. As they struggle at such close quarters, Sharon has her knee lodged under Kate's skirt and into her groin as the women yank at each others hair. Kate is wincing noticeably.
"We were both walking the streets of London from different directions. As fate would have it, we both were in a hurry to use a payphone. I saw it first but she rudely slipped inside ahead of me. I just was not in the mood to let it slide. She was very surprised when I forced my way inside with her. She began to strike me with the phone and tried to push me out. I knocked it out of her hand when she grabbed my hair and started yanking. I did likewise. We were pressed against each other yanking each others hair for the longest time. Finally, I thought enough is enough! I maneuvered my right leg back and snapped my knee up her skirt.
"OOOHHHHHHH!" I heard her moan and spotted tears in her eyes as I twisted my knee into her groin. She was hurting and I stared into her eyes with a smirk as I continued to mash my knee under her skirt and into her panties. Her mouth opened and she submitted to me.
"OWWWW...YOU CAN USE.....IT....JUST LET ME GOOOOOOO!" She began to cry. I grabbed her and threw her outside. She went tumbling onto the rain drenched sidewalk. Then I calmly made my call."
December - Elizabeth Hurley- 1996.
Photo- Shot in a steamy sauna. Sharon is bare breasted in a leopard skin thong. Elizabeth is bare breasted in a pink thong. Sharon has mounted on top of Elizabeth, her right bicep crushing the British beauty's jaw while her left hand is slithered under her thong. Liz's mouth is open, her arms lifted as she grabs Sharon by her hair in an attempt to flip her over her shoulder.
"Elizabeth was one tough opponent! We tormented each other in that hot sauna for what seemed like close to an hour. It just went back and forth but we just couldn't put each other away.
I was very determined though and felt her body weakening under the heat and pressure. I maneuvered my sweat- glistened body behind hers and gained an advantage. I kept forcing the issue. I wrapped my bicep around her jaw and slipped my fingers underneath her little pink thong. I clutched her pubic mound and began to squeeze. Amazingly, she continued to fight gallantly. She grabbed me by the hair and attempted to flip me over her shoulder as I continued to squeeze.
Suddenly, she just burst out crying. I soon released her. But as she lay on her belly bawling and holding her groin, I mounted on top of her butt, my leopard skin thong pressing into her skimpy pink covering. I proceeded to hold her body under mine as I reached out and slapped her face repeatedly. After struggling with her for as long as I did, I just couldn't let her off the hook so soon.
"PLEASE, SHARON, NO MORE..." she gasped. But I just had to have lovely Elizabeth over my lap, yank her thong below her butt, and deal her a good spanking before I left. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
"She was lying on the floor bawling loudly when I finally got to my feet. I looked down on her, both of us drenched in sweat. Don't know what came over me but I began to beat my breasts as I let out from the top of my lungs a blood- curdling victory scream. I guess I was just releasing tension. Then I pulled out my leopard skin thong which was stuck in my ass and made my way toward the shower."