Uschi stared at the brazen blonde and chuckled, "Hey, I've seen your movies. Nobody’s gonna confuse you with Meryl Streep. What difference does it make if you sleep with your co-star or the director? Hell, you get paid the same either way."
The irate blonde, picked up her water and threw it in Uschi's face, snarling, "I'm gonna rip your only talent off your body and stuff those silicon knockers down your throat."
Before the dark-haired porn star could react, Sharon grabbed Uschi's long hair and pulled her headfirst out of her seat onto the tabletop. Sharon slammed her fist down on the back of Uschi's neck stunning her.
"How dare you accuse me of sleeping with anyone. I'm a legitimate actress and I'll make you regret insinuating I get parts by sleeping with someone!"
She continued to hold the porn star by the hair as she hammered her in the back and neck with lightening fast punches. Uschi struggled to free herself, but the devastating punches were doing a lot of damage. Seeing she’d hurt the porn star, Sharon let go of Uschi's hair and ripped the 5'7" brunette's halter top off. Once Uschi's top was history, she grabbed Uschi’s hair again in one hand as she used the other to start whipping her back with the halter. Uschi screamed in pain as the tough blonde beat her mercilessly.
With Uschi defenseless, Sharon stopped whipping her and started banging the dark-haired beauty's head on the table. After banging her head several times, Sharon stepped around the table and stood at the other end. Stunned by Sharon’s onslaught, Uschi lay flat on the table with her legs hanging off one side and her head, shoulders and arms dangling down the other. Sharon grabbed Uschi's ankles and pulled her feet first off the table, letting her torso drop tits-first to the floor. Uschi's face bounced on the floor just as Sharon planted a high heel in the small of Uschi's back. Then she reached down, grabbed Uschi’s hair and started pulling back, lifting her head and shoulders off the floor as Sharon pressed down on Uschi's back, bending her further and further.
Uschi was in a world of pain, so Oliver Stone got up and pulled Sharon off of her, saying, "She's had enough Sharon. Good fight!"
Sharon dusted herself off and ran her fingers through her hair to make sure it still looked as neat and tidy as when she walked in, “Thanks Olie. But she didn't put up much of a fight. I guess fighting isn’t one of her strengths."
Suddenly, Sharon let out a yelp and crumpled to the floor at Oliver’s feet. He looked up and saw Uschi standing over the blonde holding a broken bottle. Leaning down to get close to the dazed Sharon, Uschi screamed, "Get up bitch, let's see what you got now I'm ready for you."
She continued to scream as Sharon lay on the floor for over a minute. Finally, the actress sat up and shook her head, using her hand to brush broken glass from her hair. When her hair was glass free, Sharon tried to get up but Uschi kicked her in the ribs and sent her flying into the wall. As Sharon lay on her side, gasping for breath and holding her ribs, Uschi, gave her another kick in the side, then turned to Oliver Stone and asked, "OK, now who won?"
Oliver shrugged and said, "I guess you did."
Uschi laughed and shook her head, "Actually, the fights not over yet."
She reached down and grabbed the lapels of Sharon’s dress and pulled in opposite directions, ripping the dress down the front and pulling the two halves down Sharon’s legs, dumping her on her back with her legs in the air and only her bra and panties between her and complete nudity.
Uschi flipped Sharon’s tattered dress to Oliver Stone and said, "NOW the fights over. Let's get out of here."
He nodded, reached out, and offered Uschi his hand to help her to her feet. As she took his arm, they turned and walked out of the the restaurant and Uschi said, "She's a lousy actress, really. Now, how about we get Julia Roberts or Halle Berry as my co-star?"
An hour later, Uschi and Oliver were back in his office finalizing the plans for the movie when Sharon Stone came bursting through the door without knocking. She'd apparently come straight from the restaurant because she was still in bra and panties and hadn't put on anything to replace the dress Uschi had ripped off her.
Sharon screamed at Oliver, "You left me lying on the floor of restaurant in my bra and panties you piece of shit!"
Uschi said, "Get lost sister, you've been replaced."
The blonde turned and said, "I wasn't talking to you, cunt!"
Uschi got up and stepped toward the blonde, sneering, "Do I have to kick your ass again, blondie?"
Sharon laughed and said, "That's not going to happen unless you hit me in the back of the head with a bottle again like last time."
"I still won," Uschi chuckled. "You attacked me while I was sitting peacefully at my table. If I'd known you were about to attack, you wouldn't have been able to drag me across that table. In fact, I'd have pulled you across it and stomped you into the floor without even having to leave my chair"
The blonde glared at Uschi and clenched her fists, "Want to go again?"
Uschi smiled and said, "Sure! Do you want me to turn around so it's a fair fight?"
Sharon laughed and said, "Since you think I attacked you, why don't you throw the first punch this time?"
"Good idea," said Uschi, planting her foot in Sharon's pussy before the blonde actress knew what hit her.
Sharon went down to one knee and Uschi clasped her hands together, locked her fingers and swung them down across Sharon's face like swinging an axe. Sharon fell to one side and curled up in the fetal position holding her face in her hands..
Uschi looked at Oliver Stone and winked but he protested, "But that wasn't a punch."
Uschi shrugged and agreed, "You're right, it wasn't!"
Sharon was trying to get back up and was on her hands and knees when Uschi turned around and kicked her in the stomach. The kick picked the blonde up and dropped her back down groaning and rolling around gasping for air. Again, Uschi turned to Oliver.
"Now she started it, not me. She wanted a rematch, which I'm giving her. Seems to me there aren't any rules in a catfight."
The buff brunette turned back and gave Sharon another kick to the stomach, then bent down and and grabbed Sharon under the chin, pinching her cheeks as she lifted her head so she was face to face with the curled up, gasping, blonde.
"I used to appear in fight videos Brainiac. I can fight. I heard you're tough, but you ain't showing me anything."
Suddenly, Sharon's hand flashed up and she raked her fingernails across Uschi's cheek, catching the brunette off guard. Uschi grabbed her face and staggered back feeling the blood trickling down her cheek while Sharon scrambled to her feet. She hit the brunette pornstar in the throat with a judo chop and Uschi grabbed her throat as she doubled over gagging and gasping for air. Sharon followed with a left-right combination to Uschi's face and she dropped to the floor. Now it was Sharon's turn to taunt and she bent down nose to nose with the gasping, panting brunette.
"Seen anything now?"
Much to her surprise, Uschi swung her leg and delivered a sweep kick to the back of the blonde's legs. Sharon went down hard on her ass and Uschi rolled over, dove on Sharon and mounted her.
Uschi smiled smugly as she shook her head and pronounced, "Baby, you just lost again."
She landed a hard left-right combination and the hard punches stunned Sharon badly enough that Uschi was able to slid up to sit on her face without any resistance. Once she was perched astride Sharon's red face, she began wiggling her hips and laughing out loud as she listened to Sharon's muffled sobbing. Uschi just kept wiggling her ass until the blonde was finished, then she stopped wiggling and pushed her ass back down onto Sharon's chest and off her face.
"Had enough Babe," Uschi purred, slapping Sharon's face lightly. "Or shall I get out of this nasty skirt and resume your lesson?"
When Sharon didn't answer, Uschi hitched up her skirt to her waist, and remounted Sharon's ruddy face, glancing at Oliver and shaking her head in a sign of admiration, "Can't fight fur shit, but the girl's got spunk at least."
She again wiggled and rubbed until Sharon passed out and her body went limp, then Uschi got up and flexed for Oliver.
"Time to take out the trash," Uschi laughed. "The stench of rotting fish bothers me."
Uschi bent down and grabbed Sharon by both ankles, dragging her toward the elevator. She pushed the button and when the elevator doors opened, Uschi pulled the unconscious blonde in and pushed the button to the first floor; then stepped off the elevator and watched the doors close. She laughed as she headed back to Oliver's office as the elevator descended to the first floor. Uschi hadn't felt the exhilaration after a fight for several years of fighting and hoped that whoever Oliver interviewed to appear with her in his new movie had the same reaction as the beaten blonde has-been on her way back to the street.
#2 - Politics: Hillary Clinton (w/Katie Couric) vs. Ann Coulter by Bob
Ann Coulter, the conservative author, had just finished her book signing at Barnes and Noble in Paramus, NJ and was packing up her stuff as she thanked the manager of the store. As the feisty blonde conservative strutted proudly to her car, she saw Katie Couric and Hillary Clinton sitting on their car in the parking lot.
Katie looked up as the blonde passed and sneered, "Don't tell me somebody actually asked you to sign a copy of that book."
"Don't be silly," Hillary chuckled. "Who'd buy it!" Then she turned to Katie and they high-fived each other.
Ann smiled and said, "Probably the millions of people who were smart enough NOT to buy your book, Senator."
Mockingly she turned to Katie Couric and held up one hand for a high five for herself. When the brunette just glared at her, Ann facetiously said, "What's the matter Katie, forgot how to do a high-five? It's simple, you hold your hand up and I hold my hand up. Then we slap each other's palm."
Katie gave the evil eye to the blonde and said, "You're pretty funny."
Then Katie took off her heel and put a long, deep scratch in the hood of Ann's car.
Ann shook her head and said, "It's obvious why you're here." Sizing up her foes, the blonde asked, "So where are you hiding Janeane Garofalo? Is she hiding in your smile Katie? God knows you've had your mouth plenty close to her these last few years!"
Katie looked at Hillary and said, "I've had enough of her insolence, let's get her."
"What's the matter Katie, can't take me by yourself?" Ann teased as she danced away.
The brunette leaped at Ann so they were nose to nose, "I could take you no sweat. Problem is, both of us want to kick your ass and we can't decide which should be the lucky one. Finally, we decided we'd both smack you around."
"Gee that doesn't sound like a liberal view. But I guess it could be a liberal view because you know that the two of you against me is not a fair fight. If you want, I can wait 'til you go round up another liberal. That'd be three against one and a fairer fight."
Now it was Hillary's turn to jump into the discussion, "You think you're so smart."
Getting in the Senator's face, Ann laughed and said, "I'm smarter than you. How many times have I challenged you to a debate and you've run the other way?"
Hillary shrugged and said, "I don't remember you EVER challenging me!"
Ann laughed, "Can the lies, Redwood Legs, there's no press here."
Suddenly, Hillary slapped the author but when Ann tried to retaliate, Katie grabbed her from behind, wrapping her powerful arms around Ann's chest to make sure she had the blonde's arms disabled. Hillary stepped up and gave Ann another slap, then followed that with a punch to the skinny blondes belly. Ann gasped in pain as the air rushed out of her. Ann started to shake and twist, trying to free her arms from Katie's vice-like grip. As Hillary moved in to inflict more pain, Ann shot her foot up and kicked Hillary in the stomach. The Senator grabbed her stomach and doubled over and Ann kicked her again, this time right between the breasts!
Hillary fell over backward as Ann chuckled, "One turkey down; one to go."
Still trying to free herself from Katie's grasp, Ann moved her right leg so her heel was against Katie's right shin. Then dug her heel into Katie's skin. She continued to press down until Katie was forced to ease her grip. Once she loosened her hold, Ann was able to free her arms and using both hands, she grabbed Katie's thumbs and bent them until the brunette released her hold and wailed in pain. Ann just kept bending Katie's thumbs until she screamed, "Damn! You broke my thumbs."
Ann released Katie's thumbs, stepped to one side, got in perfect position and then rammed her elbow into Katie's eye. Again, Katie screamed as she backed off and grabbed her face. Suddenly Hillary got up and charged at her foe. At the last second, Ann bent down. As Hillary made contact, Ann rose slightly and Hillary flipped over her hip. Ann looked up and watched as the Senator crashed into Katie and the two went down. Ann slowly walked over to her two foes, and grabbed Hillary by her hair. As she lifted the Senator off her feet, Ann gave Katie a hard kick, which landed squarely on the brunette's large breasts. Once again Katie screamed and then rolled into the fetal position. Holding Hillary's hair tightly, the author let go with her right hand and delivered a haymaker to the Senator's right eye.
Ann let go of the Senator's hair and watched the Senator as she fell backwards. Ann looked at her opponents, who were lying on the ground. She smiled and walked over to Katie. She gave the sobbing brunette a hard kick and watched as the talk show host rolled onto her back.
She bent down so Katie could hear her as she told her, "If I were you, I wouldn't start any more fights. You're a mess. You're going to have a couple of black eyes and I think your nose is broken. And of course your thumbs are broken."
Then she walked over to the Senator, who was lying unconscious and told her, "Too bad I didn't do as much damage to you as I did to your friend. Maybe we can do it again some time so I can really mess you up."
The victorious blonde then turned and walked away, got in her car and drove off. The book sighing had gone better than she ever imagined it could have.
#3 - Survivors: Alicia Calaway and Kimmi Kappenberg by Bob
It was very difficult for Alicia to spend a lot of time with Kimmi. The Long Island bartender had been annoying everyone and wasn't contributing to the team. Her refusal to eat meat irritated everyone but her refusal to bathe made it almost impossible to even be near her. And then when she started naming the chickens and criticizing everyone for their plans to eat the chickens, the muscular physical fitness trainer had had enough. After arguing with Kimmi and being told by the brunette not to point her finger at her or get in her face, Alicia had decided that there was something else she was going to put in Kimmi's face.
Sensing the intimidating trainer was going to smack her, Kimmi screamed, "The other's may be afraid of you but I'm not. If you're looking for a fight I'll give you one to remember."
Alicia was surprised that the bartender and wannabe actress had not backed down. Was she trying to gain the psychological advantage? Was the dirty pig trying to scare her? Perhaps she was tougher than she looked. Finally, Alicia made her move and shoved Kimmi back. Elisabeth Filarski looked on in delight because like the rest of her teammates, she hated Kimmi. She just wished the rest of the team were there to see Alicia clean the bitch's clock. Almost everyone would have loved to kick Kimmi's fat, dirty ass themselves.
"Punch her Alica," Elisabeth screamed. "Kick her butt."
Kimmi looked at the body builder and shoved her in retaliation. Alicia quickly grabbed the brunette's hair, yanked it hard, and said, "You've been talking nonstop since we got hair. When I get done with you, you'll talk when I tell you to. If I don't say anything you'll keep your big mouth shut."
Kimmi defiantly said, "We'll see who keeps quiet asshole."
Alicia was shocked that Kimmi answered back.
"By the way Alicia," Kimmi said, "I'd appreciate it if you let go of my hair. I've got things to do, like kick your sorry ass."
Alicia angrily said, "Oh really. Well dear, if you're so tough why don't you remove my hands from your hair? Maybe you would like to punch me in the mouth too."
Kimmi landed a quick right to Alicia's jaw and the punch caught her by surprise. She fell over backward and lay on the ground, rubbing her jaw as Kimmi defiantly said, "Maybe I'd rather punch you in the jaw."
She then laughed at what she considered amusing. Alicia got up slowly and lunged at Kimmi who moved to the side quickly and let Alicia go flying by. Kimmi had caught the articulate trainer by surprise but Alicia wasn't going to let her anger get the best of her! She put her hands up as if she was a boxer and started circling slowly. Being a bartender, Kimmi had seen plenty of fights and had fooled around with some of the male bartenders. She always held her own and they told her they pitied the fool stupid enough to fight with her. Now, the brunette was about to find out if they had been serious or were just telling her she was tough to get into her pants. She put her fists up and watched Alicia's hands closely.
Suddenly Alicia started throwing lefts and rights at a furious pace. None of the bartenders had ever thrown punches at the same pace as Alicia, and Kimmi was not sure how to fight back. After taking several hard punches, the bartender decided there was only one way to defend herself from the beauty that had bullied everyone since day one. She put her hands up and covered as much of her face and chest as possible. She had hoped that the stay on the island had sapped the muscular trainer of some of her strength and she would tire soon. However, the muscular trainer continued throwing punches as if she was Smokin' Joe Frazier.
After being hit with about fifteen or twenty punches, Kimmi was on her knees crying and pleaded, "No more, please. I give up; You win."
But Alicia was still punching instinctively and she wasn't ready to quit just yet. She used her foot to push Kimmi onto her back.
"You'll quit when I've had enough," Alicia shouted.
She leaped on Kimmi and started throwing more punches; intending to knock Kimmi into another millennium.
"That's it Alicia," screamed Elisabeth.
Once again Kimmi covered her face and wondered if Alicia was going to kill her.
Alicia continued to punch away. However, with Kimmi covering her face, the punches weren't hurting her and the pain that she initially felt were starting to ease. She was also very aware that Alicia was slowing down. Perhaps she was getting tired.
When Alicia realized that she was no longer hurting Kimmi, she grabbed Kimmi's wrists and tried to pry them away from Kimmi's face. She struggled and was unable to pry Kimmi's wrists away from her face. Alicia couldn't believe that she was unable to gain an advantage by using her incredible strength. Finally, a frustrated Alicia let go of Kimmi's wrists. Kimmi quickly grabbed Alicia's wrists. Kimmi's sudden aggressiveness had caught the African-American beauty by surprise and she was even more surprised when the tall bartender easily rolled her off and then put her on to her back. Finally on top, Kimmi desperately tried to pin Alicia down. The two struggled and although Alicia was unable to get the brunette off, she was able to free her hands and roll onto her stomach. Kimmi quickly grabbed one of Alicia's arms and pulled it behind her back. Kimmi wrapped her other arm around Alicia's neck and began to squeeze. As Alicia struggled to get loose, Kimmi was able to wrap her legs around Alicia's waist.
Alicia struggled to get loose and could feel her incredible strength being zapped. The bartender was much stronger than Alicia thought and was obviously a much better fighter than she realized. Kimmi also had a weight advantage, that she was prepared to use to inflict pain on the trainer that had been bullying her since day one. The attractive trainer suddenly thought she might have bit off more than she could chew and might be in big trouble. She had to get loose soon or she would be unable to defend herself. If she could get to her knees she might be able to use her free hand to possibly get free of Kimmi's grasp. However, Kimmi obviously knew how to fight because she was using her leverage as only an experienced fighter could. Kimmi's leverage had made her much stronger and Alicia wasn't sure if she was going to be able to use her superior strength. She also knew that Kimmi had to know her own skill would negate Alicia's strength.
Finally Alicia managed to get to her knees. She grabbed Kimmi's hair with her left hand and pulled as hard as she could. Despite the fact that Kimmi still had her right arm in a hammerlock, Alicia flipped Kimmi over her shoulder. As the brunette flew over her shoulder, she released her hold on the trainer. Free at last, the African-American beauty went to mount her foe. However the tall brunette threw up her legs and pushed the African-American Amazon away from her.
Both fighters quickly got up. With the two fighters on their feet, Alicia shook her right arm, trying to get some feeling back. She noticed that Kimmi was breathing heavily. "So, Kimmi, have you had enough?"
Kimmi laughed and asked, "Why? I'm kicking your ass."
Alicia stared defiantly at her teammate. "Actually, I'd have to say you've gotten the worst of it so far and I notice you're breathing rather heavily."
As Alicia started moving towards her, Kimmi decided to buy some time so she could catch her breath. She moved slowly and cautiously in the opposite direction of the trainer.
"What's the matter pig? Are you afraid?" Alicia asked, sensing that Kimmi had had enough. Hoping that her taunting would give Kimmi incentive to keep flying so that she could really give her a beating, Alicia added, "Do yourself a big favor and give up. Otherwise you're going to get your first bath."
Stalling and playing possum, Kimmi continued to back up. Pleadingly she said, "No, I don't want to go in the river. There are parasites and all sorts of disgusting things in there."
Alicia arrogantly laughed and said, "Girl, there's going to be one more parasite and disgusting thing in there when I'm finished with you."
As Kimmi continued backing up, Alicia sensed Kimmi's fear. Confident of victory, the muscular combatant finally attacked. Once again Alicia lunged at Kimmi. As Alicia neared, the brunette quickly threw up one leg and kicked Alicia in the stomach. The muscular trainer groaned and slowly sank to her knees. The bartender immediately grabbed Alicia by the hair and put her on her back. As she sat on Alicia's stomach she grabbed the woman with the huge biceps by her hands and once again tried to pin her foe so that she could end the fight. The two of them struggled and once again, Alicia easily rolled the bartender off her. As she reached for Kimmi's wrists, Kimmi grabbed Alicia's hair and rolled her over. Kimmi was back on top and once again Alicia was on her back.
Again the two of them struggled, but Kimmi somehow finally manage to pin Alicia's arms down. The bartender then moved up on the trainer's chest so that she would be unable to defend herself against Kimmi's punches. Finally having the trainer in a defenseless state, the brunette started punching the defenseless African-American in the face.
Alicia was surprised at how hard Kimmi punched but she was sure that she would be able to throw Kimmi off her. While Kimmi continued to throw punches, Alicia started to buck until Kimmi finally flew off.
She had taken a lot of punishment but she was on her feet again and she had been getting the best of Kimmi while the two of them were on their feet. She decided that she was not going to try and outwrestle Kimmi any more until she had taken all of the fight out of her, even if it meant getting Kimmi down and then letting her up again.
As Kimmi and Alicia circled each other slowly, Alicia lifted her foot and kicked at Kimmi. However, much to the trainer's surprise, Kimmi grabbed her foot and threw her down. Once again Kimmi was on top of Alicia and punching away. Alicia tried for a short time to throw Kimmi off, however, she had nothing left, and Kimmi was now beating her as if she was a 98 lb. weakling. The African-American trainer could no longer stand the power of Kimmi's punches and started crying, "You're hurting me."
Kimmi started laughing as obnoxiously as she could. "Good, you're a bully. You flex your muscles and try to intimidate everyone. Well I guess you couldn't intimidate me. Besides, it wouldn't be much of a fight if I didn't hurt you."
Alicia face felt as if Kimmi had hit her with an anvil.
"Kimmi, I give up. You win. You're the better woman. Please get off me."
Kimmi got off Alicia and put her hands up just in case Alicia planned to resume the fight. She could get Alicia down anytime she wanted. As Kimmi looked down at Alicia she noticed that Alicia's face was badly swollen. One of eyes was black and the other was starting to close. She also noticed that Alicia had a lot of cuts and bruises all over her face. She wished her luxury item was a mirror so she could see how her face looked. Her right eye was a little sore, but she felt pretty good and she had felt exhilarated for the first time since they had arrived on the island. Although she had been hated and was sure she was going to be voted off the island after the next immunity challenge, she also realized that Elisabeth was the best tribe member to observe a fight because she would give everyone a blow-by-blow description of how easily she whipped Alicia. Perhaps that would be her ticket to stay on the island for a few more days. Once again Kimmi looked down at Alicia, who was still sobbing.
"What's the matter Alicia? Does the beating that I just gave you hurt? Can you believe you were beaten by an out of shape bartender who isn't very athletic? You're a mess girl. You should see your face."
For a second Kimmi hoped that Alicia would get up and resume the fight and when she didn't move, Kimmi put her foot on Alicia's chest and pressed down just to make sure she couldn't get up. Maybe the beating she'd given Alicia wouldn't extend her time on the island, but at least she'd be able to brag about the bad beating she gave the teammate who enjoyed flexing her muscles and scaring everyone. While Kimmi realized she'd earned bragging rights, she had one more thing to do. She put her foot in Alicia's face.
"Hey tough girl, kiss my foot." When Alicia didn't move she repeated, "Kiss my foot," and put her foot to Alicia's lips.
Alicia looked up at the bartender. Although she didn't say anything, her eyes said a lot. Kimmi reached down and grabbed Alicia's hair in her left hand and lifted Alicia to her knees as she cocked her right fist.
As her hand started to move forward, Alicia whined, "No! No more."
Kimmi's hand stopped centimeters from Alicia's face. Kimmi let go of Alicia's hair and watches as Alicia fell forwards. Kimmi put her foot near Alicia's mouth and watched as Alicia kissed her foot. Kimmi laughed, put her other foot near Alicia's mouth and watched with joy as Alicia kissed her other foot. Kimmi laughed joyfully.
"Typical bully, you flex your muscles. But when someone stands up to you, you go down and whimper. How does it feel to have someone flex their muscles and pick on you? You're lucky I don't drop my shorts and bend over. By the way Calaway, I never planned to make you kiss both feet. You kissed my other foot without being told. Looks like you're a submissive one and will be as long as we're both here. You know you're a big wimp for someone who's supposed to be tuff and strong."
Unfortunately for the attractive bartender, her tribe lost the next immunity challenge and just as she suspected before her victory, she was voted off the island. "The tribe had spoken."
#4 - Survivors: Amber Brkich and Kelly Goldsmith by Bob
Amber and Kelly were supposed to appear together on Letterman but as soon as the blonde intellectual and brunette beauty were introduced they discovered a mutual dislike for each other. Amber thought the blonde flaunted her intelect and Kelly thought Amber was in love with herself! Both developed negative images which they had been unable to shake, from their appearances on Survivor. Kelly had been thought of as a whiner and Amber was considered a sniveling pouter because how she carried on after her "best friend" Jerri Manthey was voted off the island. After arguing for a while as to which of the survivors had a tougher time, the two finally started making catty remarks about each other and their images. Kelly finally shoved Amber who was furious Kelly had dared to touch her and she slapped the bitchy blonde. Kelly grabbed her cheek and just stared, never expecting Amber to slap her.
As Kelly stood rubbing her cheek, Amber followed up, slapping Kelly again. The hard slap sent the stunned blonde flying backwards and falling over a couch. Amber watched for several seconds, wondering when the blonde would get up. When Kelly didn't get up, Amber walked over to the area where Kelly was lying. Kelly was lying on her back sobbing.
Amber put her foot on Kelly's chest and said, "Get up and fight like a Survivor, or give up."
"Screw you ditz, I'm not giving up to a cunt like you," Kelly scream.
Amber saw red when Kelly called her a cunt and pushed down on the blonde's chest as hard as she could when the blonde tried to get up. However, much to the brunette beauty's surprise, Kelly still managed to get up, causing Amber to fall backwards. Now Amber was on her back, and Kelly, who was still sobbing and she put her foot on Amber's chest as she glared down at the brunette.
Kelly sniffed, "Either you get up and fight like a Survivor, or give up."
"You brazen bitch," Amber shouted, "I trip and you think you won. I don't think so."
Amber made a move to get up but as she rose she quickly found out the tiny blonde was exceptionally strong and she easily held her down. Amber was surprised Kelly was effortlessly able to hold her down with her foot. Even more surprisingly was she was unable remove Kelly's foot from her chest when she grabbed the blonde's foot and tried to trip her. Kelly continued to push down on Amber's chest. Amber was trying as hard as she could to get up. However, she was unable to remove the blonde's foot from her chest. The pressure of the blonde's foot on her chest was doing a lot of damage. She was having difficulty breathing and realized that Kelly was too strong for her. Amber remembered wrestling with Jerri and totally dominating her taller and stronger friend. She remembered how surprised she was when her incredibly strong friend gave up. Much to her surprise, the tiny blonde was much stronger than Jerri.
Suddenly, Kelly reached down, grabbed Amber by her hair, and lifted the brunette to her feet. Now that Amber was on her feet she was prepared to gain control. It was quite obvious that Kelly had a low threshold of pain. A few hard punches and the blonde would undoubtedly run away. As the brunette prepared to smack Kelly in the mouth, Kelly yanked the brunette's hair as hard as she could. Amber let out a loud scream. Suddenly, Amber was going round in circles as Kelly, still holding her by her hair, started swinging her around and around. When the diminutive blonde finally let Amber go, the brunette crashed into the wall, hitting her head. Kelly was on top of the brunette before she could move. As Amber lay on the floor, Kelly pinning her wrists to the floor, the blonde easily slid her knees over Amber's wrists. Kelly pinned her down for a couple of minutes, periodically watching Amber's worried look as she would fake a slap or punch. Not only was Kelly easily beating the brunette, but; she was having a good time toying with her.
Finally Kelly grabbed the lanky brunette's hair and banged her head against the floor. Amber screamed. Kelly laughed. Kelly then threw a haymaker, the punch landing on Amber's nose. Amber started crying. She had never felt so much pain. The tiny blonde had broken her nose. Amber's nose was bleeding profusely and her eyes were quickly started to blacken. Amber was sobbing uncontrollably as Kelly shifted her position and ripped Amber's short skirt off, then ripped away th brunette's pink panties.
Just as Amber opened her mouth to say she gave up, Kelly stuffed the pink panties in her mouth. Amber was in big trouble; she was having trouble breathing with her broken nose and with her panties in her mouth she couldn't breathe through her mouth.
As Kelly got ready to inflict more pain, Amber's face was pale then her eyes closed and she passed out! Kelly had herself an easy victory. Although Amber was unconscious, Kelly still wasn't finished with her. She removed the panties from Amber's mouth and then the brunette's blouse and bra. She even removed Amber's stockings and shoes.
She collected everything she removed from her unconscious foe, put it in a bag and waited to be called for the show. When a staff member finally came to get Kelly, he asked where Amber was. She was still unconscious and her face was quite a mess. Even if Amber was conscious, she couldn't go on the show because her face was such a mess and she didn't have any clothes.
The staff member asked Kelly what was in the bag. Kelly laughed and said, "A present for Dave."
She waited patiently until she was introduced. It was her second time on the show and she knew the procedure.
After being introduced, she strutted on stage and said, "I have a few presents for you."
She started taking out the clothing, one item at a time, and presented it to a rather surprised Dave.
#5 - Survivors: Kelly Wigglesworth vs. Susan Hawk by Bob
Susan had been looking forwards to a Survivor one reunion. She still had some issues with Kelly and couldn't think of a better place to teach her a lesson. Aside from screwing her out of a million dollars, she had watched the special about the Survivor women on "E" and had heard Kelly say that if she wasn't on television she'd have beat the crap out of Susan. Susan heard the remarks over and over in her mind and she was going to give Kelly the chance to do so if she had the nerve. As they boarded the boat to take them to their final destination, the island where they formed some great friendships, Joel turned to his close friend.
"You better watch your back Kelly, Susan's pretty nasty and she's going to get you."
Kelly smiled disdainfully. "She's more than welcome to try. If the badass trucker takes on the "Queen of the River," she's going down. Just watch my back because I'm not sure who she has made friends with and she can't be trusted."
Shortly after landing on the island, Kelly caught everyone by surprise when she approached Susan and challenged her to a fight. Susan stared at Kelly, then said, "There isn't anything you would like better. Why do you think I dressed in jeans and boots? Your stupidity never fails to amaze me. You come thousands of miles to fight me and you are dressed like you are going to a nightclub. You're wearing heels, a tight tube top and a leather skirt. Just how friggin dumb are you?"
Kelly smiled, "I like to look sexy when I am beating the crap out of someone. Besides, I fight better in heels."
Susan couldn't help laughing. Fighting in heels while they were on a beach would certainly be a big advantage. Although Susan had never done well in school, she was very street smart. She knew it really didn't matter what Kelly wore. She was going down. Once again the snake would devour the rat.
Finally Susan stopped laughing and said, "You're so friggin dumb. How the hell did I ever lose to you?"
As Kelly started circling, Susan couldn't help but stare the tall brunette down. Never had she seen anything more ridiculous.
Finally Susan asked, "Why don't you try making a move? If you're as tough as you say this should be interesting. But I'm still going to give you a terrible beating."
Kelly continued to move, now staring defiantly. Finally Kelly moved closer to Susan. Susan's eyes opened wide and she punched Kelly in the mouth. Kelly grabbed her mouth to see if her lip was bleeding, so that her hand didn't have any blood on it and put her hands on her hips. Kelly glared at Susan and asked, "Is that the hardest you can hit? Susan the 'Queen of the Highways', you suck at driving."
Susan couldn't help but laugh. Kelly's arrogance was really angering the blonde truck driver and she was now more determined than ever to hurt the person who was responsible for costing her a million dollars. She slapped Kelly once again.
This time Kelly smiled and said, "You aren't as strong as I thought you would be. It's time to stop playing." With that she kicked Susan in the stomach and followed with a right-handed punch to Susan's mouth. Much to her surprise Susan did not go down. In fact, Susan didn't even seem to be bothered by the punch.
Susan looked at Kelly, smiled, opened her mouth, revealing a mouthful of blood and spit out a combination of blood and a slightly red tooth. Kelly's eyes opened wide, seeing Susan take a punch that knocked a tooth out and not show any signs of pain. Again Susan slapped Kelly and Kelly quickly grabbed the butch blonde by her hair. She pulled the trucker's head forward and kneed her in the stomach. As Susan groaned and started to go down to her knees, Kelly quickly started kicking at the tough blonde's shins and then punching her in the back. Susan was screaming loudly as Kelly continued to punch Susan in the back. Finally the blonde went down. Kelly lifted the truck driver to her knees. Holding Susan by the hair, she stomped down on Susan's head with her right foot. Once again, Susan fell to her stomach. Kelly put her right foot on the small of Susan's back and started grinding her heel into the small of Susan's back. The pain that Kelly was inflicting on Susan was unbearable. Suddenly Susan remembered irritating Kelly by calling her the "Queen of the River" and reminded her how she lost to a city kid in a rowing race. Kelly continued to push down with her shoe.
"Hey 'Queen of the River', you're gonna have to do better if you want to beat me."
Susan was surprised as Kelly removed her heel from her back. She started to get up, but suddenly Kelly was on her back. Susan collapsed to her stomach from the combination of Kelly's weight. The trucker started to make a move. However, the powerful River rat lifted the bottom of Susan's shirt and sank her nails into the small of Susan's back. Susan screamed loudly and pleaded, "Get your talons out of my back you bitch."
Much to Susan's surprise, Kelly released her hold. However, she quickly punched Susan in the back three times. Kelly got up, grabbed Susan's hair, maneuvered so that she was in front of her hated former friend, took a step back and delivered a hard kick to Susan's chest. Despite having small breasts, the pain was intense and Susan fell face down in the sand as Kelly let go of her hair. Kelly again moved behind Susan, mounted the truck driver, grabbed Susan's muscular arm and pulled it back so she had Susan in an armlock. Once pinning Susan's arm behind her back, Kelly started pushing Susan's arm up towards her head. Kelly let go of Susan's arm with her left arm and put, her left hand on the back of Susan's head and started pushing Susan's face into the sand.
As Susan screamed out, Kelly asked, "Still think I'm dumb?"
The pain that Kelly was applying to her arm was unbearable. Her arm hurt almost as much as her hand when she was accidentally stung by a ray. Susan wanted to tell Kelly that being a fighter had nothing to do with intelligence, but Susan was not in a position to antagonize Kelly.
"Kelly, I never thought you were dumb. I just said that to get you angry."
Suddenly Kelly released Susan's arm and got up. She raised her hands in the air and looked at her fellow survivors.
Susan slowly got to her knees and watched Kelly celebrating as if she had given up. It took Susan a few seconds to realize what was going on. By her telling Kelly that she was not dumb, the brunette assumed that she gave up. It was just as well that Kelly had made the mistake. Getting beat by some dumb bitch who's fighting on a beach and wearing heels and a leather skirt would have been even tougher to live with than the way Kelly had crossed her and cheated her out of money that was rightfully hers. Susan had regained the feeling in her arm. She grabbed a handful of sand in her right hand and got up. She walked over to Kelly, grabbed the dumb brunette from behind with her left hand and spun her around.
"Hey dummy, I didn't give up. This fight ain't over." She then threw he handful of sand in Kelly's brown eyes.
The brunette screamed and grabbed her eyes. Susan laughed loudly as Kelly stumbled around, trying to get the sand out of her eyes.
"What did Richard call ya? Oh yeah, Kell's bells?" She then turned to Richard and asked, "What the hell does that mean anyway, eh?"
Richard stared at Susan in disbelief. "Did you ever hear the expression 'Hell's bells'?"
Susan thought for a second. She nodded her head as if to say "yes" and replied, "NO! Is that a Corporate American slogan?"
Susan than turned back to Kelly, who was still staggering around. As she grabbed the tall brunette, she said, "Hey Hell's balls, I can help you." She grabbed Kelly's hair and yanked it as hard as she could. Susan gave the brunette a hard kick to the ribs and punched her in the back. The brunette grabbed her back as she sank to her knees. Susan reached out with her booted foot, put it on the small of Kelly's back and pushed her forwards. As Kelly's stomach hit the sand, Susan put her foot on Kelly's head and pushed it down so that her face was in the sand.
"How's that Hell's balls? Can you see not?" Susan continued to push Kelly's head down with her foot. "How Queen of the River, ya know what happens to leather when it gets wet? Do ya? Eh?"
Susan reached down, grabbed Kelly's right ear, twisted and lifted her off the ground and to her feet. Kelly screamed as Susan continued twisting her ear. She then started walking Kelly towards the Sea of China. As they got to the edge of the water. Susan let go of Kelly's ear, grabbed her long brunette hair, and threw her into the shallow water. Kelly landed face first. As Kelly opened her eyes, she screamed. The salty water burned but Kelly was getting her vision back. She was also upset because she realized that her skirt had been ruined. Kelly got up, walked out of the sea and headed towards the butch tough talking truck driver.
Staring Susan in the eyes she said, "I think you should give up before you get hurt. You can't fight."
She then grabbed Susan hair with her left hand and landed on right to Susan's nose. Blood started dripping from Susan's nose. As she continued to hold the truck driver by her hair, the powerful brunette stared at her hated foe and said, "It's time to end this Sweetie." With that she let go of Susan's hair and threw a powerful uppercut with her right. The punch landed on Susan's chin, and although Susan staggered backwards, she somehow managed to stay on her feet. Sure that she had delivered a knockout blow to the tough trucker, Kelly was angry and she reared back to throw another punch but Susan quickly took advantage and kicked Kelly in the stomach. Kelly grabbed her stomach and keeled forward. The kick hurt and Susan knew she'd hurt her former alliance member and friend.
Susan knew all she needed to do was land a few punches and Kelly would be finished. Susan threw a punch, which land on Kelly's chin. However, Kelly didn't go down. The mighty blonde moved in to throw another punch, only to see Kelly's fist getting larger as it neared her eye. Susan jerked back slightly, but the punch, which would have put most people down did not seem to be very effect. Susan quickly retaliated, hitting the "Queen of the River" flush on her jaw. Kelly's legs buckled and she stumbled backwards. Although Kelly managed to somehow stay on her feet, Susan knew she had hurt the big-chested athletic brunette. However, rather than throw more punches or get Kelly down, Susan decided to remove her heavy boots. She reached down and picked one of her boots up. She then walked towards Kelly.
As Susan started to swing her boot, Kelly easily caught Susan's arm. The two combatants wrestled, trying to get possession of the boot. Finally Kelly said, "I don't need no boot to beat you."
As the brunette let go of the boot, she nailed Susan with a left to her chin. Susan's head snapped back and she staggered backwards. Kelly quickly followed with a right to Susan's jaw. Once again the blonde's head snapped back. However, this time her legs buckled and she started to fall forwards. However, as she started to fall, Kelly screamed, leaped high in the air, reached out, and planted her foot right on Susan's chin. Susan groaned as her head snapped back, her eyes shut, and she fell face first to the sandy beach. She was out before her head hit the sand. Several of the Survivors looked at each other. They then looked at Kelly. She had beaten the crap out of Susan, as she had predicted.
The Survivors stood around for a while until Susan finally came to. Susan was dizzy and wasn't sure what happened or where she was. She looked around and asked, "Where's my Timmy?"
Colleen walked over to her friend and sympathetically said, "Susan, we're back on the island. Timmy isn't here. Are you all right?"
Susan was still very disoriented. "What the hell happened?"
Kelly smiled and sarcastically said, "Me and you were looking for tapioca. They didn't have any, so I kicked your ass. Want a rematch?" Susan suddenly realized what had happened and she shook her head no.
Kelly stared, "You may have lost the fight, but the good news is that the cameramen were filming the fight and your Timmy will get to see highlights of how I just kicked your sorry ass. Incidentally, the good news is not good news for you, it's good for me because now everyone will finally see which of us is tougher."