Jaime Pressly-Rose McGowan Grudge Match by Bob 2/18/2002
When Jaime Pressly walked into a party and saw Rose McGowan, Jaime was looking to teach the brunette bad girl actions speak louder than words. Jaime had heard that Rose had been boasting about how tough she was and how there wasn't any Hollywood starlet who could give her a decent fight. When Rose had been asked how she would do against a strong and tough young Jaime Pressly she laughed and replied, "Jaime who? That hack? I'd tear her apart."
Jaime immediately walked over to Rose and said, "I hear you can tear me apart!"
Rose looked at the taller blonde and said, "It wouldn't take me more than two minutes. Would you like to go into another room and show me what you've got?"
Jaime laughed and said, "Two minutes? And I thought you were cocky. I'd love nothing more than to show you what I've got. I wouldn't be a woman if I backed down from an asshole like you."
They found an empty room and entered. Rose quickly attacked, tackling Jaime, putting her on her back, and slapping her with left and right hands. The move completely caught the blonde by surprise. However, the muscular blonde quickly grabbed the older dynamo's wrists and easily rolled the brunette off. The two struggled to gain the advantage. First the taller blonde would start to roll the brunette so that she was on top, only to have the older brunette roll her so that it appeared she was going to gain the advantage. The two amazons juggled for position for several minutes, their muscles straining, and their bodies glistening with perspiration. The two beauties were evenly matched and neither had expected as tough a battle as they had been experiencing in the early moments of the fight.
As the two continued struggling, trying to gain the advantage, the shorter brunette finally managed to knee the attractive blonde in her groin. Once again the more experienced brunette had caught the blonde by surprise and was on top. Her kick had hurt Jaime, and Rose knew it. Realizing Jaime's strength was comparable to hers, the brunette was not about to lose her advantage. She quickly mounted the blonde, sliding up Jaime's chest, edging her way toward her beautiful face. As the brunette finally sat on Jaime's face, she grabbed Jaime's wrists and pinned them to the ground.
The blonde had finally recovered. However, with Rose sitting on her face and holding her wrists, Jaime knew she was in trouble. She had never lost a fight and was not about to lose to a bitch like Rose McGowan. The angry blonde screamed and began to buck as hard as she could in an effort to throw her foe off. Rose continued to hold the blonde's wrists and ride the blonde, who was now bucking like a wild bull. Despite not being able to move the muscular brunette, the blonde continued to fight with every ounce of her strength.
"How's the air down there, Blondie? I'd give up if I were you Sweetie; you can't win. I'm too strong for you," Rose defiantly said.
"Aagh," screamed the brunette as Jamie bit her on her buttocks. "You bitch, I'm going to kill you."
Before Rose could retaliate, Jaime bit her in the buttocks again. Jaime bucked one more time and the brunette went flying off.
The blonde quickly rose to her feet. Much to her surprise the brunette was just starting to get up. As the brunette rose to her hands and knees, the blonde planted her right foot into Rose's stomach. Rose grunted and collapsed to the floor. Jaime quickly went on the offensive, mounting the brunette and ripping her dress off. Jaime quickly threw Rose's dress to the side and dug her nails into the upper part of Rose's back. Jaime continued to grind her nails into Rose's back, laughing as blood started trickling from the brunette's back. Rose screamed out in pain. Listening to the blonde sadistically laughing, the brunette had a bad feeling that her rival had snapped.
As Rose's screams soon turned to sobs, the blonde removed her nails from the brunette's back and rose to her feet. She stood over the sobbing brunette's for a minute or two, waiting for her to rise. As Rose slowly got up, Jaime again waited until the brunette was on her hands and knees. The blonde then stamped down on the small of Rose's back and watched her collapse to the floor again.
Rose knew it was just a matter of time. She realized the only chance she had of winning was if the blonde made a mistake. As Jaime reached down and grabbed her hair, Rose wondered what her tough foe was about to do. The blonde continued to hold Rose's brunette tresses, as she put her right foot on the small of Rose's back. Using all of her strength Jaime yanked Rose's head upwards while pushing down on the small of Rose's back. Now it was Jaime's turn to taunt Rose.
"What did you say before, Sweetie? I forgot. Did you say I couldn't win Sweet Cheeks? Do you still think I can't win?"
With Jaime busy talking, Rose quickly chopped at the blonde's left leg. For the third time Rose had caught Jamie by surprise. Jaime flew forwards, letting go of Rose's hair. The brunette made her move, getting behind Jaime, and grabbing the blonde's hair. Rose started pulling Jaime's hair. Suddenly, Jaime reached back, grabbed Rose's hair with both hands, and yanked Rose's head forward. As Jaime yanked Rose's head forward, she lowered her shoulder and Rose went flying over her, landing on her back. Jaime moved like a cheetah and pounced on Rose, her derriere landing on Rose's beautiful face. As Jaime sat on the brunette's face, she punched her in the stomach with a hard right. Rose's knees buckled as the hard punch landed. Jaime slammed a left into Rose's flat stomach. Rose groaned, and the blonde planted a left-right combination into Rose's stomach. Rose's body went limp.
Realizing her punches had done a lot of damage and slowed Rose down considerably; Jaime got off Rose and stomped down on the brunette's stomach. Rose was now crying. Once again Jaime grabbed Rose by her hair and yanked her to her feet. Still holding Rose by her hair, Jaime then started swinging Rose around and around. Jaime then threw Rose into the wall. A dazed Rose's head hit the wall. Jaime, sensing the fight was over, Jamie went after Rose again, grabbing her hair again.
"Please!" Rose begged, "No more."
Jaime laughed and said, "I'm sorry, I can't hear you. She then grabbed Rose by the hair one more and banged her head against the wall twice. Ready to finish her off, Jaime landed a left-right combination to Rose's jaw and chin. As Rose started to slide down the wall, Jaime stepped back and landed a hard kick to her groin. Rose fell forwards, landing hard on her face. She was not going to get up.
Jaime stood over her fallen foe. "It doesn't look like you're so bad to me. In fact, you were the wimpiest bad ass I have ever seen."
Jaime rolled the brunette onto her stomach and ripped off her bra, then grabbing the beaten fighter's arms, she used the bra to tie Rose's arms behind her back. Jaime pulled down Rose's panties and twisted them around the brunette's ankles. Then, wearing a proud grin, Jaime strutted downstairs and invited the party guests up to the room where they could admire her conquest.
Ann Margret vs. Tina Turner by Bob
Ann put down her drink as she started boasting about her fighting prowess while Tina sat quietly and listened. Although Ann had been drinking enough to loosen her tongue, she was still quite sober. As Ann continued to boast about how tough she was Tina continued to sit and listen with a small smile on her full, lush lips. Tina was always quiet and reserved, however, she found Ann's stories to be amusing.
Finally the redhead noticed Tina sitting and smiling. "What are you laughing about Tina?"
Tina was embarrassed that Ann had singled her out and replied, "I'm enjoying your stories, Ann,"
"Are you laughing at me Tina?" the irate redhead asked.
"Laughing at you? Why would I laugh at you? I'm laughing just as much as everyone else, Annie"
"Annie? Where do you get off calling me Annie? I don't call you Teeny!"
"Look Ann," Tina responded, "I'm sorry if I said anything to hurt your feelings or upset you. I think it's time for me to call it a night."
She got up and started toward the door.
"What's the matter "Teeny' are you afraid I might kick your ass?"
Tina stopped and turned around, "I'd appreciate it if you don't use that language to me Ann. You've been drinking; maybe you should go to bed and sleep it off."
"So 'Teeny,' you don't like my language. Well, how is this? Ass! Ass! Ass! Annie is going to kick a bitch, bitch, bitch's ass! Ass! Ass!"
Then the Swedish redhead slapped the powerful African-American in the face. The slap caught Tina by surprise and she reeled backwards.
Tina glared at her redheaded friend and said, "I really don't want to fight you Ann. Goodnight."
The tall singer then turned and then turned and started walking to the door. However, she didn't get very far. The redhead grabbed her right arm, spun her around and slapped her again. Tina licked her lip which was moist and sticky. She recognized the salty taste of blood. When she was married to Ike Turner she knew what it was like to feel blood, even worse to taste blood. Eventually, Tina learned to fight back and discovered that she was much tougher than he was. The first time she beat her ex-husband up she developed a sense of self-esteem. When she continued to beat him up every time he would attack her she learned that she could defend herself and do it well.
After being married to someone who was abusive and learning to fight back, the powerful singer was not about to let someone beat her up again, at least not without a fight. Tina spit the blood out of her mouth and threw a nasty right, which landed flush on Ann's nose. Tina had caught Ann with a good punch and was surprised that her Swedish friend was still standing. Ann quickly retaliated, throwing a right hand, which landed on Tina's cheek. Once again Tina sensed Ann had drawn blood. The redhead hit hard. Instinctively she grabbed her cheek and checked her hand. Once again, just as she had suspected, the redhead had drawn blood. Ann was not going to be easy but Tina was now ready to fight.
As Tina moved towards her foe, Ann reached out and grabbed her hair. Tina let her instincts take over and she grabbed Ann's red hair. The two celebrities yanked each other's hair; whipping each other's head from side to side, pulling as hard as they could in an effort to get the advantage. As they continued to pull each other's hair, Tina realized that despite drinking, Ann was every bit as tough as she claimed to be, and she would be a lot tougher to beat then Ike.
With neither of the two stars gaining an advantage, Tina finally decided to try another method of attack and released her redheaded foe's hair and started throwing windmill rights and lefts. Many of her punches landed on Ann's face and chest. Yet the redhead continued pulling Tina's frosted hair, trying to pull her down to the floor. As Ann continued pulling Tina's hair, yanking her head in different directions, Tina finally stumbled forwards. Ann reacted immediately, letting go with her right hand and punching Tina on her back. The hard punch was devastating and Tina tumbled to the floor. With Tina on her knees, the redhead continued holding Tina's hair and started throwing right hands to Tina's back, landing several hard punches until Tina collapsed to her stomach.
As Ann continued to hold Tina's hair with her left hand, she mounted her, sitting on the small of Tina's back as she continued hitting her in the back with right hands.
Tina was in pain, but she swore she heard someone yelling, "Come on Tina, roll her off."
The words inspired Tina and she somehow managed to rise to her knees. Sensing Tina was about to fight back, Ann stopped throwing punches, let go of Tina's hair and wrapped her arms around Tina's throat and her legs around Tina's belly. Tina stopped for a second, grabbed Ann's hands and tried to pry them loose. When she was unable to, Tina decided to continue to try and stand up. She struggled as Ann tightened her grip on Tina's throat and tightened her scissors.
However, the powerful Black woman wasn't going to be denied! Despite struggling, she finally managed to get up. Ann was still on her back. Now that Tina was standing, the powerful African-American sensed she was about to change the complexion of the fight. Still trying to pry Ann's hands loose, Tina stumbled towards a wall.
As they approached the wall, the redhead realized what was about to happen. However, she realized too late and screamed as Tina backed up and Ann let out a deep sigh as her back hit the wall. Despite her pain, Ann maintained tight hold on Tina's throat and her powerful scissors lock. Once again Ann's back hit the wall with a thud. Tina backed into the wall two more times before Ann released her hold.
Tina turned and was surprised to see the redhead leaning against the wall. Tina reacted immediately, sweeping Ann's legs with her right leg. Ann tumbled to the floor like a stack of bricks. Tina looked down on her fallen foe. Although Ann's powerful hold had tired her and she was struggling to catch her breath, she also realized that the redhead was in trouble. The powerful African-American stomped down on Ann's large chest.
Ann whimpered as she said, "Remember I was beating your ass."
Tina's eyes opened wide as she stomped down one more time. As blood started flowing from Ann's mouth, Tina thought she had broken Ann's jaw. She'd never wanted to hurt her, but didn't have much choice. Tina turned and started walking away, leaving a battered and bloody Ann lying on the floor.
Ann tried screaming, but she was in too much pain but she managed to weakly say, "This fight isn't over Tina. I haven't quit."
Tina stopped, turned, looked at her beaten foe, and said, "Ann, I give up. You win!"
Ann tried to get up, but she stumbled to the floor. She looked at her guests and as she lay on the floor managed to weakly throw her hands in the air, signifying victory as she watched Tina walk out the door.
Cameron Diaz vs. Jennifer Aniston by Bob
Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt embraced and kissed. The director said, "Cut! Excellent work. Let's break for lunch."
Jennifer Aniston was visiting the set and didn't even think about the scene. She was used to her husband kissing leading ladies, just as he was used to her kissing actors, it was part of their job.
As Brad approached his wife they decided to go out and get some lunch. "Why don't you invite Cameron to join us Brad," Jennifer suggested.
Brad looked at his wife and said, "Sure." He then walked over to his co-star and asked her to join Jennifer and him. His co-star agreed.
The three megastars went off together. Jennifer and Cameron really didn't know each other, but they were having a lot of fun together. When Brad told his wife and his co-star that he had to leave, the two females decided to go shopping. As they walked along Rodeo Drive they continued to have a great time, joking around.
Finally Cameron asked, "What's it like to be married to one of the sexiest men in the world?"
Jennifer turned to look at her new friend. She had a look in her eyes that scared the platinum blonde beauty.
"Excuse me," Jennifer said.
Cameron wasn't sure if she should try to make a joke, change the subject, or repeat the question.
When Cameron didn't answer, Jennifer repeated, "Excuse me."
Cameron turned to the dirty blonde and said, "I'm sorry, I was joking. I didn't think that question would offend you. I wasn't trying to upset you."
Jennifer quickly sized Cameron up. Although Cameron was about two inches bigger than her, and seemed to have fairly good muscle tone, Cameron was rather thin. Jennifer thought that her larger upper body would be a big advantage. She smiled and snapped, "So you're sorry? Well, I'm sorry too."
The platinum blonde was confused. "Jennifer, why are you apologizing to me?
The dirty blonde looked her platinum blonde rival in her eyes and replied, "I'm apologizing for what I'm going to do to you for the next several minutes."
She then gave a hard slap to the platinum blonde beauty.
Cameron looked at Jennifer. Neither was dressed for a fight and she really didn't mean to upset the dirty blonde bombshell. However, she was not about to let Aniston's temper tantrum, go unpunished.
Cameron reacted almost immediately, slapping the dirty blonde back. Jennifer grabbed her jaw and said, "How dare you hit me. Now I'm going to have to hurt you. If you were smart you would have walked away."
Cameron couldn't believe Jennifer's arrogance. "Is that so? Listen hear you stupid airhead, if you were smart, which, according to Brad you're not, you would walk away because I'm going to hurt you badly."
Cameron then pushed her dirty blonde rival, knocking her down. She reacted like a cat and jumped on Jennifer. Jennifer grabbed Cameron's wrists and rolled her off. Jennifer was now on top and ready to do some damage. The dirty blonde struggled for a minute or two trying to pin the younger, taller, and thinner platinum blonde's arms to the ground. Cameron fought for all she was worth trying to regain the advantage. However, Jennifer used her larger upper body and weight advantage and finally muscled her foe's arms to the ground. Once Jennifer had control she extended her legs across Cameron's muscular arms. The dirty blonde then lifted the platinum blonde's arms enough so that she could slide the lower part of her legs under Cameron's arms. Jennifer then put the weight of her upper legs down on top of the platinum blonde's arms so that Cameron's arms were sandwiched between Jennifer's beautiful legs and the platinum blonde could not move.
Cameron was in trouble and knew it. She couldn't move her arms. Jennifer quickly went on the attack. Slapping her platinum blonde foe with lefts and rights. With each slap, Cameron's head would roll to the side. Cameron kicked her legs, hoping to move Jennifer. However, Jennifer was not about to let her lanky foe throw her off.
As the dirty blonde continued to slap Cameron, the younger Hispanic eventually stopped trying to throw her foe off. The older and stronger Jennifer turned slightly and grabbed Cameron's skirt with her right hand. In one quick motion she quickly yanked it off. She then took Cameron's skirt, leaned forward, and put the skirt over Cameron's face. Cameron was unable to breathe and once again started bucking, bucking and kicking for all she was worth. She had to throw Jennifer off or she would pass out.
Cameron continued to thrash about, however to no avail. Cameron was bucking and kicking so intensely that she did not notice that Jennifer had lifted her legs slightly so that she could slide them out from under Cameron's arms. She then quickly grabbed Cameron's wrists while sliding forwards so that he ass was on Cameron's face.
She sat on Cameron's face for several seconds until Cameron finally stopped kicking and bucking. Cameron was out. Jennifer continued to sit on her foe's face for a little while just to make sure that the platinum blonde was out. When Jennifer was sure her younger foe was definitely out, she got up and stood over Cameron contemplating her next move.
When the two actresses started fighting a small crowd had assembled. As they continued to fight the crowd got larger and larger. Jennifer started looking around the crowd. Finally she spotted a woman who was about Cameron's size. She looked at the tall and thin woman and asked, "Excuse me but would you like a new blouse?"
At first the woman didn't answer but when Jennifer repeated the question the woman finally stammered, "I guess so."
Jennifer bent down, removed Cameron's blouse and flipped it to the woman.
The woman said, "Thank you." Then muttered under her breath, "I think."
Jennifer continued to look around until she found another woman who she thought might wear the same size shoes. She looked at the woman and said, "Would you like a new pair of shoes? These look very expensive"
When the woman said yes, Jennifer removed Cameron's shoes, walked over to the woman who said she would like the shoes and handed them to her. With that, Jennifer turned and walked away.
Priscilla Barnes vs. Suzanne Somers by Bob
Priscilla Barnes was very excited about replacing Jennilee Harrison and playing opposite John Ritter and Joyce Dewitt on "Three's Company" while Suzanne Somers was still angry about being fired. One summer day Suzanne was shopping in Beverly Hills when she ran into Priscilla. Suzanne was wearing a pink string bikini top and a pair of very short cutoff jeans and flip-flops. Priscilla was wearing a tight short white T-shirt that barely covered her breasts, a pair of black hot pants, and a pair of high-heeled sandals. Her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail.
After exchanging some heated words Priscilla suggested they go to a nearby vacant lot to settle their differences women to women. They walked to the field and stared at each other, both noticing that Priscilla's four-inch heels made her look much taller than Suzanne.
Priscilla, who had been angered by Suzanne's accusations, suddenly started throwing punches; hitting Suzanne in the face several times. Priscilla had caught Suzanne by surprise, but; Suzanne managed to land an uppercut, which snapped Priscilla's head back. Although the punch hurt Priscilla, she went back after Suzanne. The two blondes grabbed each other's hair with one hand as they threw wild uppercuts to the face and tits with the other.
Priscilla quickly got the upper hand, pushing Suzanne backwards slowly until she fell to the ground. As Suzanne's back hit the dirt, Priscilla grabbed her head with both hands and slammed it on the ground, slightly dazing the leggy blonde. Then Priscilla kneed Suzanne in her crotch. Suzanne moaned as she grabbed her crotch with both hands.
Priscilla grabbed Suzanne by her hair, lifted her to her feet, then threw her face first onto the ground. Despite being in pain, Suzanne tried to get up but as she got to her hands and knees, Priscilla kicked her in her chest. Suzanne went down as if she'd been shot!
Suzanne tried to get up three more times, only to be kicked in the chest and fall to the ground. She was lying on her side, moaning and breathing heavily when Priscilla took her high heel and started grinding it on one of Suzanne's tits, crushing it between her sharp heel and the ground. Suzanne squealed, but her frantically thrashing leg somehow managed to kick Priscilla in her crotch. Priscilla groaned, grabbed her crotch and went down; Suzanne, rubbing her damaged tit and Priscilla holding her damaged groin.
Suddenly Suzanne mounted her muscular foe and started throwing punch after punch. As each punch landed on Priscilla's face and chest, her feet flailed wildly. Priscilla began bucking her hips and she continuously kneed Suzanne in the back while Suzanne kept punching Priscilla's big boobs. Suzanne was starting to feel the pain of Priscilla's knees and leaned forward in an effort to avoid being kneed again.
As she leaned forward, Priscilla grabbed her hair with one hand, raked her face with the other and bucked her off to the side. The two blondes rolled in opposite directions and got to their knees; both breathing hard and crying. Priscilla had a bloody lip and Suzanne had four fingernail marks down her left cheek and a big red welt on the inside of her right breast from the heel of Priscilla's shoe. Both women struggled to their feet.
"You give up?" Priscilla gasped.
Suzanne looked at her and asked, "Why? I'm kickin' your ass honey, why don't you quit?"
Both actresses moved towards each other again and grabbed each other's hair. They started shaking each other's head furiously, bent at the waist, spinning each other around the field, exchanging occasional kicks. Once again Priscilla proved to be the stronger, forcing Suzanne back into a tree and slamming her head into it. Suzanne grabbed Priscilla's shirt and spun her around, slamming her into the tree. As Priscilla reached back, she could feel sticky blood where her head hit the tree. Suzanne dragged the dazed Priscilla to the middle of the lot, threw her to the ground and pulled and stretched her shirt. But Suzanne couldn't get Priscilla's shirt off.
Priscilla tried to get up but Suzanne landed several kicks to her gut and chest. Priscilla grunted and groaned with each blow until she finally rolled away. When Priscilla got to her knees. Suzanne grabbed her hair, pulled her head back and punched her with several devastating punches. Suzanne was taking Priscilla apart! Priscilla was bleeding from the back of her head, her mouth, and profusely from her nose.
Desperate to regain the advantage, Priscilla jammed both fists into Suzanne's crotch. The thinner blond groaned and dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Once again both blondes were lying on the ground sobbing from the punishment they were taking. After several minutes, Suzanne finally rolled onto her back and tried to get up but Priscilla managed to get to her feet first.
Suzanne quickly tried to get up but Priscilla slammed her foot into the side of her head, knocking Suzanne back to the ground. Priscilla was so angry that she unzipped Suzanne's cutoffs and went for Suzanne's crotch, grounding her right heel into Suzanne's crotch.
Suzanne started screaming and kicking wildly, "You're crazy! You're hurting me. Get your foot out of there, you psycho!"
Writhing in pain, Suzanne somehow managed to summon the will to start bucking in an effort to get Priscilla's heel out of her groin. She continued moving as much as she could and, much to her surprise, Priscilla finally lost her balance and fell to the ground. Suzanne spun so that she was facing her foe and swung both of her legs to kick Priscilla in the stomach. Then the two hellcats rolled towards each other and locked up in a strange embrace. Both grunted until Priscilla suddenly screamed.
Suzanne had pushed Priscilla's tits out of her stretched out shirt and bit one. Suzanne rolled away and watched Priscilla as she rolled around from the pain. Suzanne wanted to attack, but she needed time to recover. Finally the two blondes were ready to resume the fight. Both got up slowly and cautiously approached each other again.
Both started swinging furiously and Priscilla landed twice as many punches, with many of them on Suzanne's tits. Eventually Suzanne's breasts popped out of her string bikini top. Suzanne desperately lunged at Priscilla, knocking her over, and landing on top of her. She grabbed Priscilla's head by her hair and began slamming it against the ground repeatedly, like a maniac. The back of Priscilla's head was bleeding so badly she looked like she was a redhead. In desperation, Priscilla reached up and clawed both Suzanne's tit and face. But the feisty blonde wouldn't stop banging her head against the ground.
Finally, Priscilla cried out, "Stop, please, you win, get off me!"
Suzanne got off and looked down at her as if she wanted to continue fighting. Priscilla curled up in a fetal position and sobbed uncontrollably.
Suzanne yelled, "Apologize to me bitch!"
Priscilla continued to sob, so since she wasn't getting an apology, Suzanne bent down and punched Priscilla in the back four times.
Priscilla sobbed even harder, but managed to meekly say, "I'm sorry."
Beating Priscilla wouldn't help her to get her job back, but it made Suzanne feel real good. She slowly walked away, limping badly and rubbing different parts of her body. It was a rough fight, and she would be in a lot of pain for several days but it was worth it.
Lisa Loeb vs. Britney Spears by Bob
Lisa Loeb had just finished her song and paused, waiting for the audience to stop applauding so she could go into her next song. Much to her surprise, someone from the audience was walking towards the stage. As the woman got closer to the stage Lisa recognized Britney Spears. Lisa wondered why Britney was walking to the stage. What was she up to? Was she going to perform with Lisa?
Lisa had been interviewed several weeks earlier and said that she didn't have any respect for Britney because of her lack of morals and about how her act and style of dress had become very sexually oriented. Perhaps Britney hadn't been offended by comments that Lisa had made about her. Was this Britney's way of saying that she didn't care about the comments that Lisa had made about her? What other reason would Britney have for walking towards the stage?
Performing with Britney would be strange. They had different kinds of acts and appealed to different audiences. The Ivy League graduate wasn't sure if she liked the idea of working with someone who was a moral pariah but Lisa thought for a second and decided to be flexible. She'd try a set or two with Britney and if it didn't work out she'd figure a way to get Britney offstage.
As Britney walked on the stage Lisa smiled pleasantly and joked, "Why don't you come up on stage Britney? Perhaps we could perform together."
Britney looked disdainfully at Lisa and said, "Do you think I want to perform with you? You basically called me 'trash.' How could you make fun of the way I dress? Straight hair? Long skirt? Red go-go boots? Black framed glasses? No make-up? Don't you know the seventies is like so over?"
Lisa started looking towards the members of her band to help. She was surprised to see that they looked like they were enjoying what was going on. When none of her band members moved in, Lisa started looking around; hoping someone from the club would escort Britney from the stage.
When no one came to the stage, Lisa told Britney, "I think it's time for you to leave."
"What's the matter, can't take a few negative comments? Is that the way everyone dresses at Princeton or Harvard, or Yale or whatever egghead, intellectual school you went to? How could you criticize me? Did you ever look in a mirror? Are you afraid to wear nice clothes and some make-up?"
"First of all I graduated from Brown. Second of all, how I choose to dress is my business. And third of all, it's time for you to leave, you're ruining the show."
Britney laughed and mimicked Lisa, "First of all I graduated from Brown. Do you think I care? Second of all, how I choose to dress is my business, just as how I perform is my business. Third of all, I've been watching your show for twenty minutes. I'm not ruining your show; your show sucks. I don't think anyone can ruin your show and as for leaving, if you were any kind of a woman, you'd try to move me yourself!"
Lisa realized she wasn't about to get any help and said, "What do you mean, if I was a woman I'd try to move you?"
Britney reacted quickly, slapping Lisa across the mouth. Lisa's glasses flew off and she fell backwards. As she landed on her ass, Lisa put her hand to her lip and then looked at her hand. There was blood on her hand. The young superstar had hurt and embarrassed her. She looked up at Britney, not sure what to do.
When Lisa just sat there not moving, Britney snorted and said, "Let's go hippy, get up and fight. At least your show will finally be entertaining."
When Lisa didn't move, Britney reached down, grabbed her by the hair and pulled the brunette up. The two singers were now looking each other in the eyes.
"So what are you going to do Girlie? Do you have a pair?" Britney asked.
Lisa just stared at Britney. Even though she was thirteen years older and worked out regularly, Lisa didn't believe in fighting. She had always used her intelligence to avoid conflict. She tried to think of a way to outsmart the pugnacious blonde. When Lisa didn't answer, Britney quickly reached out and grabbed her skirt. With a quick jerk, Britney ripped the skirt totally off, catching Lisa completely by surprise. Britney turned and tossed the skirt to one of the Lisa's band members, then bowed as the crowd whistled, cheered and applauded loudly.
When she turned back to Lisa hoping she'd be ready to fight, Britney couldn't help but laugh. Lisa had crossed her legs, bent over, and covered her white bikini bottoms with her arms.
"Well, well," Britney chuckled. "Plain Jane has a nice pair of gams. Why don't you let the guys see your legs? And why am I not surprised they're crossed? Has any man ever seen you without your legs crossed?" Britney teased.
Lisa couldn't control herself any more. Although she was embarrassed, she was so angry that she was ready to hurt her blonde tormentor. While Britney was mugging for the band, Lisa reached out, grabbed Britney's tight halter top and ripped it off. As Britney turned, she saw Lisa reaching for her short skirt as well. Britney reacted quickly, pushing the hand that was reaching for her skirt away from its target, then slamming her hand under Lisa's chin and shoving her.
Once again, Lisa tumbled to the ground. However, this time she was quick to get up. When she saw Britney flirting with members of her band and shaking her huge melons, Lisa flew across the stage, lowered her shoulder and slammed into the pop princess and they both tumbled to the stage. Although Lisa had caught Britney by surprise, Britney quickly recovered and was able to roll Lisa off.
Britney quickly mounted her prey and pinned her wrists to the stage, saying, "So you finally got the nerve to fight! Well, I'm gonna enjoy tearing you apart."
Lisa bucked wildly, trying to throw Britney off, however, Britney used her leverage to keep her advantage. Lisa continued bucking madly. Britney was surprised the brunette was not giving up.
"Well, girl," Britney said, "you have some fight in you. Too bad it won't help."
She gave Lisa a hard slap across her face but, to Britney's surprise, Lisa continued bucking like a maniac. Britney gave Lisa two more hard slaps. However, Lisa continued bucking and finally threw Britney off.
As they got to their feet, Britney was tired from Lisa's bucking, but was ready for the kill. Looking in the brunette's eyes, she was surprised to see Lisa still had fire in her eyes. Britney hoped that the brunette, who hadn't shown much talent for fighting, had little left. Britney quickly grabbed the long brown hair of her game competitor and as she pulled her hair, Lisa grabbed for Britney's blonde locks.
Just as Lisa was about to grab Britney's hair, the powerful young blonde gave Lisa a hard slap on the cheek. She followed the hard slap with a punch to Lisa's ear, then yanked Lisa's head forward and kneed her on the chin. As Britney let go of Lisa's hair, Lisa swooned awkwardly backward and toppled to the stage.
Britney turned to the audience and said, "She can't fight, but she is strong, and she won't quit."
Much to Britney's surprise, Lisa got up again. The blonde Amazon quickly grabbed her game competitor's hair and helped her up. As Lisa rose to her feet, the muscular blonde grabbed the back of her white blouse, popped a few buttons and pulled the shirt over Lisa's head in one quick motion. Holding the brunette's blouse over her eyes, Britney started kneeing her defenseless foe in the face and chest while landing rights to the ribs and back. Britney could hear Lisa's muffled whimpering as she continued to knee and punch her beaten rival.
Turning to Lisa's band once more, Britney laughed contemptuously until one band member yelled, "Look out!"
Britney opened her eyes wide when she realized she was holding an empty blouse. As she turned around, Lisa's right fist caught her in the eye. Britney staggered back as Lisa followed with another right and a kick to the stomach. The surprised blonde tumbled to her butt and it was the brunette's turn to be the aggressor. As Britney hit the stage, Lisa was on top of her.
Lisa quickly started swinging, landing a barrage of lefts and rights. Unlike the brunette she had easily been dominating, Britney didn't fight back, just tried to cover up as the brunette lioness was landing lefts and rights in rapid succession. Lisa continued throwing punches to Britney's now bloodied face. The submissive had become the dominatrix and she was giving the arrogant blonde the beating of her life. In two short minutes, Lisa had gone from student to teacher.
"You're not so tough when someone is on top of you. Now I'm gonna kick your ass."
Britney somehow managed to roll over into the fetal position and Lisa sensed the blonde wasn't so tough and that the fight was over. She pushed Britney's bloodied face to the floor and got up. Turning to her band, Lisa raised her hands, expecting them to cheer for her the way they'd cheered Britney. When the band didn't respond, the enraged brunette slipped off one of her red boots and threw it at them. The band quickly scattered just as Lisa screamed - a fist had landed hard on the back of her neck!
Holding her neck, Lisa tried to turn around to continue the fight but the bloodied and battered blonde, grabbed her by the hair and kicked her in the stomach. Then Britney kneed Lisa in the face. Still holding tight to Lisa's long brunette hair, Britney threw her headfirst into the base drum and Lisa fell over backward.
Britney was not about to make the same mistake she made earlier. She went to her barely conscious foe, grabbed Lisa's hair again, and threw her so that she went clear through the head of the base drum. Britney staggered over to where Lisa was laying, grabbed her ankles and pulled her head out of the drum.
Britney had been weakened from the terrible beating Lisa had given her, but unlike her fallen foe, Britney was conscious, though barely. She slowly dragged Lisa to the edge of the stage and gave her one last kick in the ribs. Lisa rolled off the stage onto the hard floor below. The fight was over! Britney turned and motioned the members of Lisa's band to come forward.
As they approached her, Britney fell into the arms of Lisa's drummer, "Sorry about your drums. If she'd let me work on her I'd turn her into a beauty. She's got a great body but she's got to learn to dress properly. Get rid of those goofy glasses, a little make-up and she'd be almost as hot as me. She's one tough bitch, she can fight."
Then Britney collapsed into unconsciousness.
As the members of Lisa's band filed from the stage, one of the members smiled and asked, "Did you think Lisa would put up such a good fight?"
"Not really. Hell, if she hadn't made the mistake of thinking the fight was over she would have won. Do you believe she went through the drums?"
Despite being unconscious, Britney had won a tough fight over a surprisingly game competitor.