Christina Aguilera vs. Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm by Harry

And it happened like this. At the 'Party in the Park' held in London in July there was an all star cast with ego's the size of small nations. MTV UK had the foresight to include a room in their broadcast facility for the stars to settle their differences. In the pouring rain Christina Aguilera danced around the stage in a very tight fitting Union Jack crop top. More intent on outdoing Posh Spice, and with a new blonde hairdo, Mel C had done a duet with Bryan Adams which was an excuse the show off by being all over the Canadian rocker like a rash.

Afterward Melanie, who was feeling hot, walked backstage straight into an argument with Christina and Kylie Minogue. She accused Miss Aguilera of trotting up and down the stage like a common slut in her gaudy top, not like a real professional.

In turn she accused Kylie of being a has-been who should, "fuck off back to Australia." Miss Minogue reacted with remarkable calm, she was after all No 1 in the charts, and put Mel's behaviour down to trying to out do Victoria Beckham and being away from her girlfriend for the first time.

Christina was not so sanguine, suggesting the Melanie was some blonde freak and that the peroxide had leaked into her brain. Mel replied that Christina was just trying to corner the jail bait market and that she would do better squabbling with the likes of Billie Piper and Britney Spears as to who should be first in line in the sweet shop.

At which point all attempts at diplomacy went out of the window, and the MTV representatives suggested that the two singers step into the available empty (and soundproofed room) to resolve the matter. At once several other pop stars in earshot offered to step in as well to help mediate. In the end lots were drawn and 25 lucky people were allowed in to stand round the edges whilst Miss Minogue was nominated chief negotiator (or Referee as we Brits call them).

"On my right, with the freaky blonde hair and in desperate need of access to a real wardrobe, we have the Spice Girl Mel C.," stated Kylie loudly.

Mel C scowled at the Aussie and gave her the finger, but stepped forward. The Spice Girl was barefooted and wearing blue jeans, and a short white T-shirt (so that it showed off a hint of her midriff and her arm tattoos) with a California logo. Her newly bottle blonde hair (which looked like she had been out in the rain) was shoulder length and worn natural.

"On my left, we have the Britney Spears look-a-like, sound-a-like and in short a talent-less little hussy, Christina Aguilera!"

Christina also scowled, but figured that old age did strange things to the brain so was inclined to be charitable towards Kylie, whom to be honest she hadn't really heard of before today. Christina was also barefooted, wore black leather trousers and her tight Union Jack crop top and her blonde hair natural.

"Frankly I don't really care which one of you wins," smirked Kylie. "So why don't you little sluts do something more entertaining than your singing and fight!"

Needing no further encouragement, the two singers stepped out and started to circle one another, whilst Miss Minogue stepped back against the wall. Sporty was the more aggressive in the opening moves, as she regarded Christina as a little blonde bimbo whom she would soon overcome. Both women started by lashing out with their hands, trying to get to grips with one another, without really doing so. Mel caught hold of the Americans right wrist and pulled her towards her.

At the last moment, the Spice Girl stepped out of the way so that Christina went past her so Mel was able to step behind her and grab her by her straight blonde hair. This was an unpleasant and unexpected turn of events for Miss Aguilera, who hadn't really been in the mood for a fight. As her head was yanked back by the root, she realised that she would have to buck up her ideas. But before she could do so, Mel had pushed her towards the wall, sending watched scattering to the left and right. Christina stuck out her arms in time to avoid smashing her face into the plasterboard.

Mel C advanced on her opponents back, intent on having some more fun, only to be surprised when the teen sensation spun round and with a flailing hand slapped her across the face. Where this to have been the London debating society, it would have been an interesting topic as to who was the more surprised by this blow. Both women paused for a moment glaring at one another and Sport rubbing her cheek.

Christina jumped forward and was onto her fellow blonde in a trice with both hand in entwined in the Spice Girl's hair. The unnatural look was matched by the feel of the hair and Christina wrinkled up her nose at the thought of all the unpleasant chemicals she was coming into contact with.

Just as Mel C brought her own hands up and into the American's hair, their bodies collided, and the Spice Girl was pushed back. Melanie Chisholm managed to stay on two feet for only a few steps before falling backwards pulling Miss Aguilera with her.

Mel C bounced of the temporary floor and Christina landed on top of her and winding her. Mel C was still sufficiently alert to be grateful that she wasn't fighting a bigger woman or the floor might not have taken the impact! It was only Mel's heavy workout schedule that meant she was dazed for only a moment. She realised that she could not throw the American woman off, so grabbed to fistfuls of blonde hair that were dandling within reach. Christina responded by returning the hairpulling and the two song birds began an intense struggle, much to Kylie's immense amusement.

Mel was getting the worse of the hairpulling, so she decided to change her tactics. She placed one hand under Christina's chin and began to start pushing it upward exposing her neck. As Miss Aguilera shrieked and hissed with pain, she began to struggle and buck her body, slamming her groin down against Sporty's. This generated a groan from the British woman (whether pleasure or pain was difficult to tell, but there more than a few envious looks from women spectators).

"Come on Sporty Slut, I hear you struggle more in bed!" sneered Miss Minogue loudly.

"Bitch!" snarled the Spice Girl, although the intended target of the insult was unclear.

The pain in her neck was now starting to take its toll on Miss Aguilera and reluctantly she rolled clear of Mel seeking relief. Both women lost a few strands of blonde hair which added to their squeals of pain and their growing enmity. Having scrambled clear and caught their breath the two song birds rose up on their hands and knees and turned to face each other like two cats. They paused for a moment, eyeing one another before leaping forward and sinking their hands into one anothers hair.

But Mel moved a hand down and started to claw at the back of Christina's taut crop top, soon causing rips and holes to appear. When Christina realised what was happening, she tried to push her away, but Sporty Spice was having none of that and continued in her efforts to shred the top.

Christina had been warned by her record company that if she wanted to keep her image then she had to stay away from Mel C over this weekend. Now she began to fear what the British woman would try and do to her.

The thought spurred her on to defend herself with more vigour, and she managed to get a half hearted blow into Sporty's stomach. But this didn't stop her, nor did it seem to cause her any concern. As Christina could feel Mel's fingers scratching the skin around her bra clip she moved up the hand she had used to punch her opponent and instead clamped it over the outline of a breast, which caused Mel to instinctively move her hands to protect herself.

This move came as a surprise to all present, especially Melanie who seemed to gasp at this attack.

Miss Minogue soon broke the silence by calling out, "Looks like you've pulled there Mel!" which drew laughter from the small audience.

Whilst Mel was savouring this moment, Christina used her grip on her hair to pull the Spice Girl to the floor and then scramble to get her leg over so that she was astride her opponents stomach. It was only as her shoulder blades hit the floor that Mel C realised what was going on and she resumed her struggles. Seeing that Christina had not relinquished her hold on her breast she softened to ask, "Do you like what you're holding there Chrissy?"

"Frankly all I think I've got hold of is your skanky T-shirt bitch. I'd need to be a detective to find anything else under here!" snarled Christina in a manner that would have made record company representatives wince, had they been present.

Mel screeched a litany of obscenity and insults as she renewed her struggle to be free, but to no apparent avail. She was able to swing up her legs and trap Christina's hair between her feet and begin to tug. This attack was a complete surprise to Christina. This move, coupled with a two handed shove in the stomach from the British singer, sent the American teenager tumbling backwards so her head landed between Mel's knees. The two fighters scrambled away from each other, lashing out with their feet in the process. Some of the blows were quite painful and it was fortunate that neither was wearing shoes or boots or damage could have been done.

Having moved away from each other the two combatants rolled onto their hands and knees and began to prowl. It was Christina who took the initiative by leaping forward, but Melanie was able to meet her and the two superstars rose up on their knees with their fingers locked in a test of strength. This was not what Christina had had in mind, as she saw Mel's tattoos shining with sweat and bulging on her arms, she realised that she would need to drag the Spice Girl down to her level if she wanted to get the next plane back to the US!

Christina was able to hold off Melanie sufficiently for the Brit. to break off the contest, to the disappointment of the audience, before lunging forward and grabbing the bottom of her T-shirt. As Christina pulled so the T-shirt ripped open and Mel was pulled forward and the two women toppled over.

"This is supposed to be a fight not a bedroom romp!" sneered Miss Minogue.

They rolled around for a few moments, struggling for supremacy and pulling hair before Mel came out on top. She tried to position herself so that she was sat astride the young American woman. She leant forward, despite the pain of the hair pulling and placed her left forearm across Christina's upper body whilst with her right hand she began to attack the crop top. Christina struggled and tried shaking Mel C's head from side to side, but it brought no relief nor delayed the Spice Girl.

With expert and experienced hands, the thin material of the Union Jack crop top hand been pushed up, exposing a pert breast, topped off with a hard nipple encased in a sweaty cotton bra. This is what Mel had been looking forward to as she eagerly, nay greedily, reached down and sunk her fingers into the inviting flesh. This caused Christina to shriek, partly with pain but also out of fear.

Sporty Spice became lost in lustful thoughts and never noticed her opponent stop pulling on her hair and instead drove a fist up into her own right breast. Despite the earlier insults there was most definitely some tender flesh there, and Christina's fist landed directly on the rock hard nipple pushing it back into the chest cavity.

Mel's face turned white and she let out a scream before rolling off of her opponent whimpering with pain. This brought relief to Christina who briefly massaged her breast before looking for the British woman. Melanie was a few metres away with her back to the American superstar clutching her breast. This was just to tempting a target to Miss Aguilera who spun round on her butt and launched a two footed kick at Sporty's shoulder blades. The blow landed solidly and powerfully, sending the Spice Girl sprawling towards the audience with a howl of pain.

Christina stood up, walked over to the slowly recovering Spice Girl and reached down to grab her by her hair. Just as Mel was about to start to fight back, Christina used the hold to fling the British woman back towards the middle of the arena, where she landed in a heap. As Mel rolled over ready to get up, she looked up to see Christina descending on her stomach, where she landed as heavily as her sleight frame would permit. As Sporty started to buck and struggle like a fish out of water, Christina ripped aside her T-shirt to reveal Mel's sweaty body and a surprisingly sexy and slinky bra. Without further ado Miss Aguilera reached down, placed both hands over Mel's breasts and began to squeeze.

The initial wave of pleasure in Melanie soon subsided and she began to screamed in pain. Mel brought her right knee up violently into the base of Christina's spine and the American teenager let out a cry of pain before falling forward breaking her hold. Instead of now having her breasts tortured, Mel now found herself with Christina's breasts near enough in her face, but with no room to use her hands. Instead she reached down and grabbed the waistband of Christina's leather trousers and pulled hard.

When the seams of the trousers bit into Christina's delicate nether regions she howled with pain. It was of little consolation that Mel's position prevented her from putting all her strength into the attack and that the pain could have been a lot worse. Christina fell forward in an effort to lessen the pain, the crotch of her trousers landing on Mel's breasts forcing air from the singers lungs.

Melanie was overtaken by a wave of panic at the prospect of being suffocated and she let go of her opponents trousers and instead concentrated pushing her off. But he more she struggled the greater the taste of leather in her mouth. To add to her discomfort, Christina had reached down and was pulling her hair painfully. In frustration Melanie began to thump her hands down on her opponents exposed back and leather protected backside. It was when she turned to scratching and hen tried to push a hand down the back of Christina's trousers, did the American woman relent and roll away, leaving Sporty lying on the floor gasping for air. Neither woman was fit to appear on stage again today, but performing was no longer top of their agenda.

Melanie saw that Christina was backup on her feet, albeit looking a little unsteady and started to crawl in the opposite direction in need of more recovery time. This was met with some derisive cries, led by Miss Minogue which masked Christina's advance and descent on Sporty Spice's back. Melanie felt a hand grab her hair and pull her head back, whilst Miss Aguilera's other hand pulled aside the tattered T-shirt and begin to fumble with her bra strap. Melanie struggled to protect herself, but in reality there was s little that she could do. She was then pulled upwards and her bra fell to the floor revealing her breasts behind the T-shirt so that Melanie used her hand to try and protect her modesty.

Having dragged Melanie on to her knees, Christina used her spare hand to try and pull the protective hands away from the Spice Girl's breasts. But with two hands against one it was a difficult task. Christina did feint for the zip of the American woman's trousers, but this simply allowed Mel to grab hold of the hand and bend the fingers back. Christina shrieked with pain at this attack, but fought back the desire to withdraw her hand and instead used her hand that was in Mel's hair to now grab a breast, paying particular attention to the sensitive nipple, about which Melanie was particularly conscious. Now both women's voices were raised in shouts of pain.

Melanie was torn between the desire to continue bending back Christina's fingers back and protect her breast. It was this indecision that probably spelt Mel's defeat, as in the end she tried to turn her body to elbow her opponent. But Christina was no novice in these matters and was able to twist her own body so that the blow missed.

Instead Christina deliberately fell backwards pulling Mel with her, at the same time managing to withdraw her sore hand and using it to hold Mel's head in place by the head to prevent being head butted. Melanie struggled to break free, but the burning pain in her breast was overwhelming and she tried to pull Christina's fingers away.

But as soon as she had done that and was sighing in relief, than Christina had rolled the two of them over so that Mel was now face down in the carpeted floor. Sporty struggled to get up onto her hands and knees, but weariness was beginning to overwhelm her body. Christina pulled her head back with a one handed hair pull, and once Sporty's head was clear of the floor, placed her other hand under her chin and began to exert even more pressure.

Mel fought back the tears and concentrated her efforts on breaking free, but there was little that she could do. Given her position she had no way of physically attacking Christina and although she could struggle, Christina was sufficiently expert at what she was doing not to give Mel an opportunity to fight back. Mel managed to survive the combined hair pulling and throat grip for about 2 minutes before asking for mercy. Christina kept up the pressure for a further two minutes while Mel's pleas became tear racked sobs, before finally letting go.

Before Miss Minogue could pronounce Christina the winner, the American teenager was gone - on her way to Heathrow and back to the USA, leaving Melanie the Spice Girl sobbing on the floor. She stayed there whilst the audience filed out of the room and Miss Minogue hurled insults until Posh Spice found her and took her to a dressing room.

(Christina Aguilera beat Melanie "Sporty" Chisholm in our vote: 306-186)


Mr. Skin