As she got to the ring, Christina showing an amazing amount of athleticism, leaped up onto the apron, grabbed the top rope with both hands, and catapulted her self onto the mat, landing in a split. The fans showed their appreciation by giving her another round of applause. She rewarded them by removing her skirt, sweater and white sneakers, giving the throng a look at her sculpted sinewy body accentuated by her gold thong bodysuit and flesh colored tights, and golden socks, that all seemed to be painted on her lean and curvy body.
Then Oingo Boingo began to play.
Although most of the crowd had never seen Christa Miller wrestle, they had heard of her. She had made her splash on two highly controversial pirated broadcasts, that broke into the HWWF's weekly video magazines. Or at least that was what Sy wanted his fans to think. Regardless, the fans let out with a chorus of boos, as Christa "The Jester" Miller strutted down to the ring. Oddly enough the seemingly sadistic harlequin took the crowd's indignation as praise, blowing kisses to them, waving, and bowing.
When she got to the middle of the aisle she stopped - and shouted over the hisses, "Stop it you guys, your making me blush!"
As she continued her merry way to the ring, it seemed like the jingle bells sprinkling her black and red leather thigh-high boots and her red and green head dress were keeping time with her entrance music. As Christa stepped onto the apron, she snapped off her Jester's hat and shook her shoulder length brown hair free, allowing it too frame her sharply chiseled beautiful face. She proceeded to turn her back and bend at the waist, giving her vocal detractors a good look at the high cut white leotard the covered her firm round ass and unzipped her boots. She shimmed out of them, and stepped through the bottom and middle ropes, revealing her muscular legs encased in red and black ringed stockings and flesh colored tights.
"This is going to be a rough one," Christina thought with a sigh as she caught the mischievous glare that she fired at her across the ring.
Christa had pushed things to the point were their debut match would have to be a submissions only match in a decidedly "hard core" league. The insults and implications of The Jester's verbal assault included allegations of anorexia, and a decidedly dim view of Christina's abilities and intelligence. The bell rung three times and the youngster dived into her baptism of fire.
As The Cheerleader bounded and skipped out of her corner in one direction, Christa took giant steps while wiggling her fingers in front of her in the other. As Christina tightly circled the center of the ring, The Jester stopped a few feet away, suddenly a look of terror filled her eyes.
"Please, please don't hurt me! I wouldn't want to be crushed under the wrath of your 98 pound body!"
Christina stood in amazement as she watched her opponent back peddle into the corner while begging off.
Aguilera didn't know what to make of it - so she shrugged, jogged a few feet forward, and cartwheeled into a springboard corkscrew elbow - which connected the thinly padded steel conerpost right on the funny bone as Christa rolled away clutching her stomach laughing to her ass off.
After getting a few feet away from her prey, The Jester lashed out with a scissor kick that threw Linda face first into the hard mat canvas. As the cheerleader rolled on the floor clutching the outer crook of her elbow, and flopping around on the mat, Christa mounted the top turnbuckle.
"I told you I didn't want to feel the wrath of your stick body! Sheesh!"
Christa then put her hands on her hips, thrust them out, and through her best saccharine smile chimed, "Ready!? OK!" diving into a full body splash on the already writhing Christina.
The addition of her 128lbs womanly body crashing down on the hurting pepster didn't help matters any. Christa bounced up and grabbed Linda's pony tail and pulled a wobbly legged limp cheerleader to a standing position. The Jester grabbed Christina's hand and started she shaking vigorously as The Cheerleader's knees caved in and dropped her into a kneeling position.
"HEY CHRISTINA HOW THE HELL ARE YA?!?"
"I'M JUST GREAT YOU BETCHA THANKS!"
A cartoonish caricature of Christina's voice squeaked back as Christa shook the vacant eyed youngster's head up and down by the pony tail. The Killer Clown then yanked Christina off the floor again, and whipped her over the top rope and onto the cold ungiving concrete floor.
Christina was in convulsions as she slid to the floor and Christs was chuckling at the mayhem she had so far caused.
She then started laying in stomps to Christina's chest and neck, dribbling the Teen Dream's head between her forceful legs and the floor.
After ten of such stomps, Christa broke off, pulled a table from under the ring and opened it. As Christina felt herself being hoisted in the air she started to moan. Christa had gotten The Teen Wonder in a completely vertical position, perpendicular to her own, hands between teenagers crotch and shoulders, as she started to run towards the table.
Leaping into the air, she shifted downward, crashing Christina into a brutal powerslam through the piece of furniture. The crowd burst into another chorus of boos as Christa got to her feet, and blew a kiss.
Christa got another table out and opened it. She then plucked a blood spattered Christina out of the splinters, and placed her on the newest sacrificial alter. Grabbing booth of Christina's cheeks in her one hand Christa squeezed down hard, and as the Cheerleader started to kick the bottom of the table, her lips puckered making her look more like a fish out of water.
The Killer Clown looked down, yelling, "Sorry! I'm just a little old silly head! I meant to do this!"
The Jester then dug in and raked her claw across the poor girl's face.
As Christina rubs her face sobbing,. Christa skips to the cornerpost, scales up it, and walks across the top rope squaring off to where Aguilera is laying. Launching herself off the top, Christa's body does a magnificent 360 degree flip before she sees Aguilera roll off the table.
As the Jester did her best impression of a human sized flesh covered superball through the new table, Christina landed with a thud on the floor, coming to stop as her body turned half on its side before collapsing face down in heaving heap.
For a few minutes the only signs of life from either lady was the occasional squirm and the constant shallow breaths.
Finally Christina dragged herself up by the guardrail and stumbled into the wreckage where Christa was still laying. She plucked the bloody face of the Jester up and dragged her out by the hair, then started to land haymaker after haymaker into her opponents head. Christa's blood spattered everywhere, including the tights around Christina's legs.
The throng enthusiastically counted, "1...2...3..4,5,6,7,8,9...10!"
As Christa's body was just about to tip forward, vivacious dilettante wound her leg back, and launched a kick whose motion carried it to over Christina's head and sent the groggy clown's head flying into the guard rail, conveniently exposing the slight bulge beneath her gold lame covered crotch.
The Cheerleader took some energy from the crowd and turned it into the pep she so desperately needed to win this fight. She plucked the Jester up by the arms , and swung her into the ring, quickly following. Once there she stood Christa up again and planted a standing dropkick to her former tormentor's face causing the Clown to come down like a ton of multi-colored bricks.
The perky youngster, showing the sophistication and sportswoman like conduct that befits an "underground" female wrestling federation straddled her ears and started to do a bump and grind over the downed woman's head. The throng ate it up and as the cheers reached a fever pitch, Christina threw her legs in the air and dropped her crotch forcefully on the downed Christa's face.
The nearly killed clown involuntarily lifted her legs off the canvas, and Linda snaked hers in a figure four head lock. As the Jester kicked her feet into the mat, she clawed at Christina's gams that were bulging through the nylon tights.
"So you give? Huh?!?! DO YOU GIVE!!!"
The Jester's only response was an odd gurgling sound coming from her throat, as she flirted with consciousness. The Teen Dream grew impatient and released her foe who immediately curled into a fetal position, cradling her head and gasping for air. The Cheerleader punted a foot into Christa's stomach, rolling her onto her back.
Christina wasn't frustrated, although she would've preferred to end the match early. She had a date later on. In the deep recesses of the playground she called her mind, young Ms. Aguilera wanted to hurt the Jester.
It was time for some payback!
She sat Christa up, positioned herself behind her, snaking her legs around Christa's face and started to squeeze and grind - using her gams to crush Christa's cranium, while her nylon chafed Christa's cheeks.
As The Jester's face puckered, Christina asked, "Like, who's the cutie now?!?"
She finally let go and allowed Christa to flop limply back on the mat, banging her head against the hard canvas.
Christina ran across the ring into the opposite set of ropes, bounced off and leaped into the air, landing her right leg on top of the red and green harlequin diamonds on the abdomen of Christa's white body suit and pushing out any air that the Jester had left in her body.
Christina got up, grabbed the nape of Christa's neck, and hoisted her up, keeping her bent over at the waist. While holding her victim in place with one hand, she lifted her other hand - palm up - over her head, pumping up and down, asking the fans to make some noise.
A light buzzing rang between The Killer Clown's ears and, as her vision and hearing cleared, she quickly aimed a fierce counter offense at Christina's crotch, a forearm between Linda's thighs. Just as she pulled her arm from Christina's womanhood, the Cheerleader shot her legs closed, while dropping her hands to tentatively message the pain away from her chuckle bush.
The Jester grabbed the Teen Dream's slightly disheveled pony tail and bent her down, delivering a quick rake across her back. As Christina slumped to her knees Christa caught her in a front face lock, and snapped into a short but powerful DDT that bounced the nubile ingenue's head off the thinly padded mat. Christa paused on her knees for a few seconds, gasping, using the time to get much needed second wind. She then slid under the bottom rope and grabbed that old war horse of the extreme wrestling scene, a steel chair.
After a quick beer, soda and popcorn shower, Christa climbed back into the ring with her new implement of destruction and loomed over the curled up teenage singer. Christa cooed as a sick and evil grin spread across her blood-smeared face. Christa lifted the chair over her head and slammed it down into Christina's body again and again, flipping The Cheerleader over as she convulsed helplessly under the barrage of steel. Finally as the back of the chair started to dent, the jester dropped it and grabbed Christina's golden socked ankles and threw her 128lbs onto the teenager's crotch by way of her knee.
As Aguilera sobbed uncontrollably, Christa ground her knee more and more violently, pausing only long enough to get up to land another knee. Christa got up again, this time jumping high into the air as she pulled her poor victim's legs apart and came crashing down into a now brutal leg spread.
"Hey Christina, you got your driver's license yet?"
Christa shot her foot between Christina's legs and sandwiching it between The Cheerless Cheerleaders thighs, pulled back hard on the legs, giving poor Ms. Aguilera the devastating, "gas pedal."
Christina started pounding the mat with her palms and shaking her head violently from side to side, and groaning, "NOOO, NOOOO, NOOOOOO!"
"VROOOOM! VROOOM! BITCH!" was Christa's witty rejoinder.
She leaned on the pedal for a few minutes, then released her hold and got up. She started bobbing and weaving, shadow boxing in front of her victim while doing her best Burt Lahr impersonation. (Ed. Note: You younger readers may remember Mr. Lahr's tour-de-force as the 'cowardly lion' in MGM's classic, "Wizard of Oz.")
"Puht 'em up. Puht 'em uuu-pah."
Christina rolled onto her side crying and cradling her now well-tenderized nether region.
Finally she mustered a, "You... bitch!" and pulled herself up into a boxer's stance.
She took a wild swing, which the Jester dodged, backing Christa into the center of the ring.
"Oh, oh, it look's like I got the Cheerleader mad. She might vomit on me any time."
Christina lumbered forward, and fired another sloppy roundhouse which Christa blocked. Christa cocked her other hand back, ready to strike.
"Open your mouth and close your eyes - AAAHGUH!"
Christina landed a right hook across the Joker's jaw with everything she had and caught her in mid-taunt. Christa backpedaled, but not quickly enough too dodge another clubbing hook. As the Jester staggered on her jelly ringed legs, Christina wound up for her coup-de-gras. But Christa bobbed away before getting caught. Christina surged forward - right into a beautifully timed snap kick that spun her around forty-five degrees.
Remarkably, Christina was still on her feet. But Christa didn't have any intentions of keeping her that way. Leaving Christina hunched forward, glazed eyes staring at the mat, Christa launched herself to the opposite ropes, and rebounded towards the unfortunate Cheerleader.
Christina stood up just in time to receive the, "Christa-in-a-Box," the Jester's dreaded finisher, a backwards hurracania.
As Christa scissored Christina's neck from behind, she grabbed her arms, pulled forward and used her remarkable leg strength to flip them both over, smashing Christina's face into the mat.
The crowd was too horrified to react and sat in stunned silence!
Christa dragged the limp teen dream across the ring,
scrapping her face against the canvas. It was time for the, "Taffy
The Jester hoisted her limp opponent to her feet and snaked the girl's arms over, out and back through the turnbuckle then placed her foot in the small of Christina's back and pulled both arms back as she pushed her foot forward.
Soon The Cheerleader was yelling, "NO more! No more! Please stop hurting me!"
It was just what Christa wanted hear. The Jester released her hold, the bell rung, and she Russian leg swept Christina to the mat.
As the Teen Dream broke out in a new round of tears, The Killer Clown knelt down beside her, and started stroking her forehead. "Aww, don't cry, Tina. Listen, The Jester knows what this girl wants, needs even. What would make her, yaddia, yaddia.."
With that Christa plunged her hands around The Cheerleader's neck, choking her.
The last signs of life sputtered out of Christina's legs, she pounded the mat, flailed her arms ineffectually and sunk into a deep sleep.
Christa then got up and stripped the dreaming Teen Dream down, revealing her pert breasts. Christa slid down Christina's torso, slipping off downed star's tights and white silk panties, giving all a good glimpse of a neatly trimmed blonde bush. Walking to her head dress, Christa produced a hand buzzer.
Turning it on, she placed it on her hand, and turned to the rafters, "Now on Shprokets it is time to dance! Hit it boys!"
With that, Brittany Spears "Baby One More Time" began to play, as Christa landed a stomach claw with her buzzer armed hand onto her victim, causing her to shake and foam.
"I betcha Dick Clark never treated you like this baby!"
Christa released her claw, then reapplied it into
her opponents crotch, forcing Christina to explode into tears
and convulsions, singeing off some of her pussy fur. She kept
the brutal hold in place until Security rushed into the ring and
pulled the Killer Clown off her hapless victim.