Shalom Harlow vs. Jessica Alba, Rematch by ceej

Alba! It was all that little bitch Alba's fault, Shalom Harlow fumed. Ever since her humiliating encounter with the "Dark Angel" contracts had become hard to get and her fledgling acting career had stalled.

When pressed, her agent Sylvia Goodman finally confessed, "Shalom ... I hate to say it, but there's a perception in the industry that you're, well, a joke, since the Alba incident! Give it time, hon! These things have a way of blowing over."

But Shalom had no intention of 'giving it time', What she was interested in was vindication ... and REVENGE! She threw herself into intensive training ... with less-than-impressive results. Despite daily doses of high protein shakes, she actually lost three pounds! Her personal trainer winced as she watched Shalom struggle to lift even the most modest weights. A martial arts instructor, hired to teach her some basic moves, threw up his hands in disgust at her total lack of coordination.

Finally, Sylvia called Shalom into her office and told her, "Look, kid, I think you need to let it go...that beating you took from Jessica Alba. But it's pretty clear you can't ... or won't. So here's what see. I grew up in Brooklyn, a pretty tough neighborhood and we used to use a little equalizer ..."

The older woman placed a piece of studded metal on the desk as Shalom stared dumbly.

"Brass knuckles!" Sylvia told the startled and puzzled model. "You hit an elephant with those, he's goin' down! Now, forget where you got these ... and go finish this thing right!"

The older woman winked knowingly as Shalom fit the brass knuckles over her perfectly manicured right hand. She felt a surge of power. She was beaming with confidence ... and she knew exactly the right time and place to settle this thing!

The annual Fall Fashion week in New York was coming up. Everyone who was anyone would be there ... including Jessica Alba, spokeswoman for L'Oreal! Shalom would have the pleasure of kicking the little brat's ass in front of peers and press alike!


When Shalom left the salon she was feeling like a million dollars; facial, trim and set, manicure, pedicure, a complete makeover. Returning home, she changed into a clingy backless black gown by Dior and strappy Manholo Blahnick high heeled mules. After all, the simple-minded model reasoned, she wanted to look her best when the press started snapping pictures of her standing over that bitch Alba's prostrate body!

How little the empty headed mannequin knew about catfighting ... or anything else for that matter.

As she entered the hall and strode confidently toward the L'Oreal exhibit, an audible murmur rumbled through the hall. The fashion crowd was well aware of what had happened between Shalom and Jessica and Shalom's presence here portended big trouble. A fast-growing crowd of Alba supporters, Harlow groupies and just plain catfight fans trailed eagerly behind her, caught up in Shalom's wake.

Jessica had a phony smile plastered on her face as the various distributors fawned over her. The lithe young star wore a sports bra, bike shorts and running shoes as she posed under a banner reading, "L'Oreal - For Active Beauty!" When she saw Shalom approaching, Jessica was stunned ... but only momentarily!

The dark-haired beauty put her hands on her hips and asked her former adversary, "What're YOU doing here?"

"I'm here to take back what's mine!" announced Shalom, brimming with self-importance. Then to the crowd she added, "I'm going to put this arrogant, annoying child back in her place and retake my rightful place atop the world of fashion!".

"Skip the speech, skinny!" Jessica sneered. "If you're that eager for another beating ... you got it!"

The angry young brunette stepped forward to meet her much taller opponent. Shalom smiled slyly as she closed the fingers of her right hand around the brass knuckles! Then, lunging forward to meet the 5'6" Jessica, the 6' Shalom heaved her loaded right hand like a sash weight. The 'Dark Angel' ducked the blow with contemptuous ease and hammered a left hook to Shalom's ribs. The gangly model lurched several steps, her lithe body completely out of control as a result of the body blow and her own momentum, before she regained her footing.

Shalom's long gown and high heels weren't helping matters.

Jessica was on her, quickly but unhurriedly. The shorter woman began to snap out a left jab; light blows intended to irritate more than punish. Three straight jabs found the model's perky nose which began to redden. In response, lanky Shalom twice telegraphed her big right hand, allowing the agile Jessica to easily side-step the wild punch.

"Stand still, damn you!" Shalom screamed in rage and frustration ... and a sinking sense that something was going terribly wrong with her plans! Shalom launched another haymaker, missing so badly that her own momentum turned her 180 degrees. She stared blankly at the crowd, she'd been hoping to see a prostrate Jessica Alba!

"Huh? Where'd she go?" asked Shalom, confused. "D-Did I knock her out?"

Jessica laughed and gave Shalom a "playful" kick in her bony butt!

"Now, 'Olive Oyl', I'm gonna give you a free boxing lesson!" Jessica teased the skinny model. "This is called a shoe shine!"

Jessica unleashed a flurry of punishing lefts and rights to Shalom's midriff, causing the gangly supermodel to sag like a melting candle. In desperation, Shalom managed to land a cuffing right to Jessica's biceps. She reacted with a mixture of shock and pain; backing off and eyeing the model warily. Where did this sudden punching power come from she wondered?

Jessica bounced lightly on her toes, circling Shalom. The model held her right arm cocked and eyed her tormentor with venomous hatred. Jessica stuck her head out and Shalom took the bait! Heaving her right hand, Shalom was stunned when Jessica caught her wrist in mid-punch and gave her wrist a sharp judo chop, sending the brass knuckles clattering noisily to the floor.

"Uhm ... errr ... it was a j-joke?" stammered Shalom as Jessica eyed the fallen weapon dubiously then started to lightly pound her right fist into her cupped left hand.

"You're in real trouble now, you skinny skank!" Jessica purred menacingly as she took a step toward her prey.

Shalom started backing up, slowly, clumsily, her hands raised in a futile defensive gesture.

"D-D-Don't you touch me ... k-keep your distance ... don't you come any closer or I'll ... I'll ... I'll ..."

The world may ever know what Shalom Harlow INTENDED to do at that moment ... because Jessica interrupted her with a fusillade of ripping lefts and rights to the head and body of the beautiful beanpole! For the first time, a cheer went up from the surrounding crowd. Any question about who to root for dispelled when Shalom's duplicity was exposed! The battering lasted a full minute and Shalom's only response was a series of whines, grunts and moans.

When Jessica stepped back to catch her breath, the once glamorous Shalom was a sight! Her hair unkempt, eyes rapidly turning purple, nose bright red. But a last flickering ember of rage still glowed in Shalom. She'd suffered humiliation enough at the hands of this little harpy! Recalling her martial arts instruction, Shalom aimed a savage kick at Jessica's bare midriff ... which Jessica nonchalantly caught in mid-air! Holding Shalom's right heel, Jessica had the tall gawky model hopping on one foot like a comic stork.

Plucking off Shalom's shoe, Jessica looked at it and announced with amusement, "Size 12! She's got a big mouth AND big feet!"

The crowd roared in derision as Shalom hissed, "Stop it, you little bitch, they're ... they're laughing at me!"

"Seems you could afford to lighten up a little yourself, skinny," mused Jessica, mischievously tugging on Shalom's big toe. "Tell me something, Olive Oyl, are you by any chance ... ticklish? This little piggy went to market ..."

Crestfallen, Shalom whimpered meekly, "N-N-No that ... not in front of all these people ... you wouldn't (ulp) tickle my bare foot?"

Leering in response, Jessica began to run a single fingernail up and down Shalom's pedicured sole, causing the model to cackle helplessly with uproarious laughter.


Tickled to exhaustion, Shalom collapsed limp to the floor ... only to be pulled back erect by Jessica.

"Upsy-Daisy, Skinny, ... I'm not through with you yet!"

Back on her feet, Shalom whimpered pitifully, "P-P-Please ... I ... I've had enough ..."

"Like Hell, you have, slut!" barked Jessica. With a single sickening rip, she tore the fabulous (but flimsy) gown from Shalom's slender frame - revealing that Miss Supermodel had neglected to wear underwear or a bra. Indeed, all Shalom had left on her slender body was a single shoe!. Horrified, she tried to cover both breasts and her pussy with her rail thin arms.

"Look at those tits!" chortled Jessica, pointing at Shalom's modest A-cup breasts. "How old are you ... fourteen? They look like a pair of fried eggs! I've seen bigger ..."

Jessica's teasing ended in mid-sentence as the enraged embarrassed Shalom slapped her fully across the cheek.

"How dare you!" shrieked the indignant model. "How ...dare…..yo…."

Shalom looked ruefully into Jessica's blazing eyes and blinked, suddenly filled with immediate regret for her rash action. Lefts and rights thundered through the gawky model's clumsy defense as Jessica pummeled her mercilessly. At length, Shalom tottered precariously, her knees knocked, eyes unfocused and a silly half-smile on her face - almost completely out.

"Stick your chin out, cunt!" Jessica ordered and Shalom dumbly complied! Jessica made a big show of kissing her right fist before delivering a devastating uppercut that knocked the tall skinny model clean off her feet into a salon chair where she slumped unconscious.

"Makeover for the super model!" announced Jessica as she fumbled among the numerous grooming devices until she came up with ... a set of electric clippers!

"Oh ... you wouldn't!" giggled a female L'Oreal executive.

"Oh, wouldn't I?" replied Jessica.

She placed the shears at the base of the unconscious model's skull and clicking them into electric life. Passing gradually forward, she left a swath of stubble where Shalom's once lush mane had been ... then another and another and another. In mere minutes, she had reduced the once gorgeous supermodel's locks to a fuzzy stubble. Still not satisfied, Jessica began kneading shaving cream onto Shalom's bristly scalp.

"Allow me to demonstrate our new L'Oreal Magique safety razor," she joked. "Observe how it removes any trace of hair leaving your legs ... or head ... silky smooth!"

She shaved the helpless model as, implausibly, Shalom was heard to moan and coo, "Hmmmm ... feels nice ...,"

Shalom's hand strayed to her pouting pussy and she began to finger herself in her sleep.

"And ... Voila!" declared Jessica as she finished with a flourish. Shalom's once beautiful head had been shaved bald as a cue ball and then buffed to a hi-gloss shine. "Wake up, Skanky, " Jessica teased. "Time to greet the new you!".

Jessica slapped Shalom awake. At first, Shalom's eyes fluttered, then they flew open wide as she saw her reflection in the mirror.

"I ... I ... I'm naked! And I'm ... I'm ... I'm bald! I'm bald! I'm ... I'm ... I'm B-B-BALD!!!"

Leaping to her feet, the horrified Shalom saw her old nemesis ... and realization of the humiliating events came rocketing back to her consciousness! Even worse ... Jessica was strapping on an enormous dildo, one that was the product of a little-known L'Oreal subsidiary and their best-selling product in the Middle East and South America.

(Beauty salons there give a whole new meaning to 'full service' - but that's a different tale. Now, back to our story…)

"You pathetic loser," Jessica hissed. "Now, I'm gonna make you my bitch!"

With a shriek of horror and despair, Shalom, began running (awkwardly) through the crowded convention hall like a plucked ostrich; her big bare feet slapping the tile floor as a chuckling Jessica jogged after her in half-hearted pursuit. They were closely followed by a laughing jeering mob of humiliation junkies. With an unlikely burst of speed, the gangly model was able to make her way through a nearby emergency exit ... right out into the middle of New York City's bustling Fifth Avenue where she stopped and looked around in dazed shock ... barefoot, bald and butt naked! Even jaded native New Yorker's gaped in disbelief.

"Good luck getting a taxi, baldy!" laughed Jessica as she closed (and locked) the door behind Shalom.

Something told Jessica that Shalom would be out of her hair (literally and figuratively) for a long time to come!

Mr. Skin