Anderson-Eleniak

Erika Eleniak vs. Pam Anderson "BAYWATCH BRAWL" by GEPOP

To the surprise of many, "Baywatch" had risen phoenix-like from the ashes, a failed network television program salvaged in syndication. Now broadcast worldwide, it quickly developed a huge international following. And although the nominal "star" of the show was David Hasslehoff (who also served as the producer), he was wise enough to realize the real reason why millions of viewers the world over tuned in week after week... beautiful women in skintight bathing suits. And the most popular of them all was Erika Eleniak, a young blonde with 'Girl Next Door' looks and a highly impressive bust, which was accented by a skimpy suit far too daring for any real California lifeguard.

Inevitably, Eleniak's fame led to movie roles. And although she wasn't about to abandon her 'bread and butter' TV show (not just yet, at least), she was starting to make some demands that Hasslehoff recognized as the warning signs for a prima donna complex.

The tried and true Hollywood tonic for such a situation was to bring on board a similar character, who could replace the troublesome star. Frequently the arrogant actress in question would improve her behavior in light of a challenge to her spotlight, but if not, at least there would now be a back-up to fill her spot.

And to fill Eleniak's swimsuit if need be, Hasslehoff hired a stunningly statuesque blonde named Pamela Anderson.

Initially, she was introduced as simply another secondary lifeguard on the show. But as Anderson's role (and her popularity) began to grow, Eleniak sensed the danger to her coveted position. Tensions between the two escalated daily. Still, Erika worked hard to be a 'loyal trooper' on the show, as yet unwilling to jeopardize her TV stardom until her movie career became better established.

But with the success of "Under Siege", Erika took on a haughty arrogance that prompted producer Hasslehoff to focus more attention on Pam in an attempt to get Eleniak to toe the line again.

And by no means was Pam an innocent player in all of this. From the very first, she conspired to get Erika off of the show, rightly sensing that it could serve as a platform for her own dreams of stardom. Before long, Pamela was able to entice many of the cast and crew to her side, dividing the show into two camps between the actresses.

By this time, Erika and Pam refused to even speak with one another, and their cutthroat efforts to upstage one another meant that the writers had to avoid putting them in the same scenes as often as possible.

As the season neared the end of its shooting schedule, Erika's star was blazing brighter than ever. She had signed to co-star in "The Beverly Hillbillies" for a healthy sum, with a dozen other film offers to choose from after that. Hasslehoff had also promised that the "Baywatch" season finale would feature her character in a prominent role, with Anderson playing a far more secondary part.

But she was shaken from her Olympian heights when the show's publicist informed her that, for the first time, Anderson's weekly fan mail outnumbered her own.

Jealousy does strange things. Although she had already secretly decided to quit the show, suddenly the only thing important to Eleniak was being the star of "Baywatch". In her prideful rage, the only thing threatening that stardom was Pamela Anderson.

Without a moment's hesitation, Erika stalked from her spacious dressing room to the new one Anderson had just been awarded. The enraged blonde stormed in without knocking, and was momentarily taken aback when she saw that her upstart rival's suite was actually larger and more lavish than her own, a fact which only fueled the flames of her hatred.

Pam jumped up from her chair in front of the mirror. Erika was amused to see that, shed of her make-up, Pam boasted a full crop of decidedly unglamorous freckles. Both girls were still wearing their red bathing suits, worn for the cast photo they had posed for earlier.

"What the hell do you want?" snapped Anderson.

With a cold voice that belied the fire that burned within her, Erika replied, "Let's put an end to this right now! One of us is going, because this beach isn't big enough for the two of us." Impishly, Erika couldn't resist a dig: "Of course, with those implants, no place is really big enough for the two of those."

Anderson let the insult slide past. Unhesitatingly, she walked past Eleniak towards the door. "Let's go," said Pam, and the two then wordlessly stalked towards the main production building. Both knew that inside there was a capacious office suite that was unoccupied, with only a few pieces of furniture scattered about and plenty of solitude for a little "girl talk"...the perfect site to settle their dispute.

Pam entered first, with Erika only a few steps behind her. But before Pam could turn around, her rival tackled her from behind, the momentum sending both crashing to the carpet. Instantly, they twisted and kicked, tearing at one another's flesh with their nails and yanking generous amounts of black-rooted hair loose as they rolled across the floor.

After a full minute of such frenzied catfighting, both girls began to plot tactics and apply energetically crude wrestling maneuvers. Each quickly determined the other's primary assets: Erika held the superiority in upper-body strength, making her bearhug especially devastating, while Pam's long legs proved lethal in a scissorhold. Neither was hesitant about inflicting low blows; the idea of permanently maiming her hated rival gave each girl a shudder of glee.

At one point, Erika attempted to use a move she had seen pro wrestlers do, the piledriver. She placed Pam's head between her thighs, hoisted her up in the air by the waist, and sat down hard, with the intention of ramming her victim's head hard into the floor with the weight of both women behind the impact, a potentially crippling blow. However, Erika failed to properly secure Pam's head with her thighs, with the result being that the full impact was absorbed by Erika's own posterior, sending a paralyzing wave of pain up her spine.

Pam quickly capitalized on this turn of events, snaring Erika in a clumsy Boston Crab. Erika howled in agony, her back at its breaking point, almost ready to concede. But it was Pam who suddenly broke the hold, impatient with its results and unaware of just how effective it truly was. She decided to draw a submission with a body scissors, and snaked her long legs around Erika's abdomen.

Pam poured every ounce of power into her legs. Unfortunately, she had amateurishly secured the vice below her victim's ribcage; although the scissors caused Erika great discomfort, it did no real damage, and she used the opportunity to marshal her own strength for a counterattack.

Her every muscle straining, Erika pried Pam's legs apart. Anderson was horrified to discover that, although she was now numb and exhausted from her own offensive, her "victim" had her second wind. Erika, in full control, tortured Pam's legs, twisting, yanking and bending the slender gams until Anderson had barely any sensation in them. Still, the battered blond refused to concede.

In growing frustration, Erika shifted her attack, grabbing her rival in a front bearhug. But even as she began to apply the tremendous pressure, Pam lashed out with her hand, the open palm catching Erika in the temple, stunning her. Pam then rammed her forehead squarely into Erika's, the headbutt forcing Erika to drop her hold. Both weary battlers fell to the carpeted floor, desperate to regain enough strength to continue.

With her last vestiges of power, Pam threw herself atop Erika, and straddled her in a schoolboy pin. However, this maneuver alone could not beat the blond. So, Pam brought her chest down, burying Erika's face deep into her bosom, smothering her. Erika retaliated by sinking her teeth into a breast, causing Pam to howl with pain, but she refused to release her foe. Before long, Erika was gasping for breath. Not very long after that, her struggling ceased. She was unconscious.

A half-hour later, Hasslehof and the production staff had settled into the conference room for a meeting when they heard cries for help from the empty suite next door. Rushing in, they found Erika stripped naked, her red spandex bathing suit used to hogtie her wrists and ankles. Her tears had streaked her mascara across her cheeks, and her face was flushed red with humiliated fury.

Across the window was written in peach lipstick (Pam's favorite), "I want a raise."

The next day, the production company issued a press release announcing that Erika Eleniak had left the cast of "Baywatch", and that Pamela Anderson had just received a new long-term seven figure contract.