Office Catfight: Loni Anderson vs. Jan Smithers ('WKRP Cincinnati') by TNT

"ARGHHH... What the hell? YEOW!! Uhhhhh..." Loni Anderson groaned, bellowed and screamed as her full left breast exploded in agonizing pain under attack from Jan Smithers angry fingers. "Umppfh! My boob, you're crushing my boob....AIEEEE! (gasp, gurgle...gurgle) "Mmmpfhh..."

The busty gorgeous blondes frantic angry screams of protest fell on deaf ears as the normally quiet brunette beauty Jan launched an all out surprise attack on her lovely costar. Jan's nails dug deep into Loni's large firm breast, attacking her pleasure mound through her thin blouse and sheer black lace bra. Jan smiled as the blondes nipple stiffened, pressing into her palm as she squeezed the tit hard, relishing Loni's cries as she painfully jerked her platinum blonde hair and wrapped an arm around Loni's neck in a choke.

Jan released her torturous breast hold just long enough to grab and rip her blouse, then slipped her hand under the torn cloth and pushed her fingers into Loni’s overfilled cup. Loni's screams, muffled by Jan’s choke hold, failed to adequately testify to the pain in her rock-hard sensitive nipple as Jan’s strong fingers twisted the nub viciously.

The spellbound cast of WKRP stood around watching this erotic scene as if in a trance even though everyone knew it was bound to happen sooner or later the way Loni flaunted her body and talked down to Jan. Loni was getting all the attention, virtually ignoring her pretty co-star and secretly, several of them hoped it would’ve happened sooner. No one even considered trying to stop it for even the crew on the set wanted to see the resolution, so nobody made a move to halt their erotic, and for now one-sided, battle.

A few minutes earlier, all had been calm. Everyone had taken their positions; the camera wasn't rolling yet, though the real action was about to start. Loni in her usual low-cut tight blouse and short tight skirt, sexy pantyhose and heels had just sat down in her favorite swivel secretary's chair and crossed her legs, giving the boys a glimpse of creamy thigh. She enjoyed their catcalls and whistles as she flaunted her luscious body in front of everybody while Jan and her beauty was again virtually ignored although she had an outfit similar to Loni's, but with a far more modest skirt.

Inside, Jan had been simmering for a long time and while most couldn’t have known, Loni she was alone with Jan loved to taunt her, make catty remarks and try to make her feel quite inferior. Jan normally kept silent, but she’d decided today was the day she’d stand up for herself. As they say, ‘Still waters run deep’ and if Jan had her way, she was going to drag Loni into the deep water and drown her - well, figuratively anyway!

Loni's long legs kicked wildly, as she desperately tried to free herself from Jan's clutches. Her right heel flew off as she turned, twisted, tried to swivel her body to freedom. "Mpfffh...Let go...of me....AIEEEEE! Mpfffh!" For a brief moment Jan lost her choke hold, allowing Loni to screech out an order.

"No bitch, I won't let go of you! I've been wanting to do this for a long time," Jan snarled.

"Uhhhhh...ohhhhhhh...HELP! Ahhhhhh." THUD! "Aieeeeee." As Loni struggled frantically to escape the surprise attack and her determined attacker, she was giving a fantastic show and an erotic display of her 'hidden treasure' to the entire cast who'd remember this moment for a longgggg time. She final bucked and twisted so powerfully it separated her lovely derrière from the chair and down she went, dragging Jan down to the floor along side her. "You bitch; what the hell are you doing? AIEEEEE!" Loni's angry words turned to mutual groans and moans as the two engaged in an all out free for all wrestling match as they rolled over and over, banging into chairs and desks, as they pulled hair, slapped, punched, kicked, scratched and tore at each others clothes.

"Ohhhhh...uhhhhh....arrrrrggghh!" Jan shredded Loni's blouse quickly, her goal to render the busty blonde topless while Loni centered her attack on Jan's pantyhose; tearing them to shreds as she raked and clawied her legs. Both women's' skirts rode high giving the lucky onlookers many erotic catfight memories.

"Why, Jan, why?" Loni screamed as she tried hard, and unsuccessfully, to block Jan's hard, fast slaps and punches as Jan attacked with such fury and anger the bigger and stronger blonde was quickly being tired out and winded.

"Duhhh, 'cause you're a bitch, that's why! A self-centered, big-boobed, blonde bitch," Jan hissed as she landed a hard punch to Loni's chin.

Loni's head snapped back smacking into a file cabinet. Loni tried to blink the blurry vision away, twisted hard and broke free; she landed a good slap to Jan's face and made it to her hands and knees before Jan jumped to her feet and fired a kick to Loni's ribs, sending her crashing into the file cabinet full force. A lower drawer slid open.

"Uhhhhhh!" Loni moaned as she desperately tried to get up, reaching out and leaning on the drawer for stability.

"You stupid fucking bitch, I'm gonna pound you good," Jan snapped as she fired off a hard kick that just missed Loni but slammed into the drawer, knocking it shut on Loni's hand.

"AIEEEEE! My hand, my hand....YEOWCH!!" Loni shrieked.

"Oh, my, I'm so very, very sorry," Jan said sarcastically as she grabbed a handful of blonde hair and used it to jerk Loni to her feet. Holding her upright by the hair, Jan's forearm smashed Loni across the breasts! Loni lost her balance and dropped to her knees.

"Uhhhhhh." Loni grunted as Jan danced in and sunk a punch deep into her stomach. Loni's tight abs took the punch rather well and she lunged out and grabbed Jan in a headlock, then jerked her forward.

"UFFFFF!" Jan grunted as Loni's fist slammed into her stomach.

"Now its my turn cunt," Loni snarled as she grabbed for her doubled over rivals blouse. RIPPPPP! RIPPPPP! Loni tore Jan's blouse clean off in two hard pulls. Jan screamed, her face blushing with embarrassment as her plain-jane white bra was exposed.

"So you like to fight, huh?” Loni sneered. “Well, so do I, but I'm better at it than you are, you stupid bitc....Unggggh!" Loni's impromptu speech came to a painful halt as Jan's knee slammed into her crotch. As Loni squatted holding her crotch, her shin exploded as Jan kicked her. Then WHACK, the busty blondes jaw was added as a new stop on the agony trail.

"Get her Jan!"

"Yeah get her good!"

"Pound her!"

The cast and crew finally broke the stunned silence with shouts of encouragement and cheers. The results of Loni's haughty, smart-ass attitude was coming home to roost. And it seemed Jan needed little encouragement as she fired a series of well-placed hard, fast punches into Loni's stomach, her ribs, her face, and last but certainly not least, those two big lovely firm bra-encased breasts! Loni reeled and staggered around while Jan skillfully ripped away the shredded remnants of her blouse. To the amazement of Loni, the staff and even Jan herself, her fists shot into her intended targets with amazing accuracy and precision.

"Nooooo...Uhhhhhh...Ohhhhh!" Loni's erotic sexy grunts as she was pummeled gave pleasure to the onlookers and Jan! Loni tried to land a few punches herself, but Jan skillfully ducked or blocked them all and returned fire with even more anger and fury. Getting desperate, dizzy and feeling the hurt, Loni suddenly lunged forward, but Jan side-stepped, shot out her leg and tripped the blonde bombshell. Loni went sprawling and, in a flash, Jan jumped on her back, grabbed two handfuls of hair and pounded her face on the floor. "Nooooo...Uhhhhhh…" Loni moaned as she felt a hand reach around, cup her chin and pull her lovely head up and back.

"Let’s see, what does my boyfriend call this?" Jan mused with a wicked grin. "He loves to watch wrestling. Oh yeah, a camel clutch, I think he said," Jan chirped as she hauled the now screaming Loni's head back further. Jan bounced up and down on her downed rivals back as she literally bent Loni's back until her entire upper body lifted up off the floor; her uge breasts bulging out of the tops of their bra cups as she struggled; her arms waving and her feet beating the floor. Jan looked up at the smiling faces enjoying Loni's futile, erotic struggle. "Wanna know why they call this a camel clutch, Miss Loni?" she cackled.

"OW! Leggo bitch....noooooo....Uhhhhh!" Loni threatened, groaned, grunted and gasped as Jan applied pressure, then slowly reached around under her with one hand.

"Camels have two big bumps, just like smart-ass blondes," Jan giggled as she grabbed Loni's huge right breast and squeezed.

"Damn you Jan, stop it! OUCH! Uhhhhh..." Loni's swearing became a gasp when Jan squeezed hard, then snagged her thumb in the cup and jerked it down. Loni's beautiful breast spilled out into Jan’s waiting hand where the erect nipple got a rude painful pinch. "Ohhhhh gawwwwd, stop please!" Loni bawled as Jan pulled on her nipple and used it to shake the big mound, causing embarrassment and bringing cries of pained anger from Loni and a whole lotta pleasure to the gaping audience.

"Wanna break," Jan cooed. "Maybe a coffee break sweetie?"

Before Loni could reply, Jan released her and jumped to her feet, then stood aside. Loni got slowly to her feet rubbing her sore breast. She carefully and gently returned it to its sexy encasement, then snarled angrily at Jan, spun on her heel and started to walk away. She only got a few feet before she turned and hissed some angry and demeaning verbal abuse at Jan as she flipped her the bird.

"Grrrrrawhhh!" Jan's savage yell sent shivers up back of the cast members' necks as she charged Loni.

"AIEEEEE!" Jan's fist slammed into the tall blondes chin, snapping Loni's head back on her shoulders. Loni's hand burst into agony as three fingers were bent sharply back.

"I've had enough of your smart-ass attitude, you bleach-blonde big-boobed bimbo," Jan growled as she grabbed Loni's hair and slammed her forehead into the wall. Loni groaned as she reeled back from the wall to Jan who met her with another hairpull, swung her around and bent her luscious body backward over a desk.

THONK! THONK! THUMP! Jan pulled Loni down and smacked her head several times on the desk, brought her to full standing position, spun forward, then back sinking her elbow deep into the blondes gut. "Uhhhhh." (cough...gasp...wheeze) Loni doubled over, sucking air as Jan unsnapped her bra; pulled it down her arms and off.

"Here guys, a little, I mean a big souvenir," Jan crowed as she tossed it to some very eager men. "Now lets do a bit of work, lazy ass," Jan snapped as she reapplied a painfully effective hairpull and forced the screaming, cussing, gasping Loni over to the copier.

"'s cold...." Loni bellowed as Jan bent her over with her huge breasts flattened on the cold smooth glass. Jan drove a fist into Loni's back, then pushed down hard on her upper back as she hit the button. CLICK! Light flash! WHIRRRR. "We need a few more copies," Jan chirped, punching the button again and again. The bright light flashed several more times and the copier spit out copies of Loni's twin peaks, captured for posterity. "Bleached hair is sooo much fun to pull," Jan snarled as she jerked Loni off the copier and flung her against the wall. As Loni bounced off it back to her, Jan caught Loni in a reverse headlock and then wrestled her over to Loni's own large desk where the cheering cast was standing but a few feet away. "Your desk is so nice, so big, so perfect," Jan chirped. "Perfect for a special project."

"Noooooo....Uhhhhhh....Opppfffh!" Loni's passionate protests went unheeded as Jan slapped and pounded Loni into complete submission, pummeling her stomach, ribs and breasts. Jan grabbed Loni's wrists and bent her backwards down onto the desk, scattering pens, papers, and other office materials, the many props that Loni pretended to stay busy with. As Loni's naked back felt the cold top of the desk, Jan pressed her own luscious body into Loni's, wrestling her, spreading her out; Loni's long legs kicked wildly, no longer touching the floor. Jan lifted her knee, crushing it up hard between Loni's legs, grinding it painfully into her pubic mound. "Stop it! NO! No! Damn you, bitch!" Loni snarled as, in desperation, she reached up and clawed at Jan, catching her by the bra.

Jan smiled a mischievous smile as she felt Loni's fingers pulling down frantically. Loni, surprised at Jan's lack of resistance, gasped as she saw Jan's beautiful firm breasts tumble into full view as her bra slid down. The perfect pink nipples were incredibly hard and long. Suddenly, Jan was on top of Loni pinning her arms, her hips slamming down on Loni's, pressing her firm breasts into Loni's and the blonde gasped as she felt Jan's rock-hard nips bending hers back and then invert them as they simply overpowered hers.

Then, Jan's long strong fingers were at her throat, "Now, I've got you, you big-boobed blonde slut, any last words?"

Loni's big beautiful brown eyes filled with tears, got wider, showing fright as she gasped for air. Her groin went numb as the hard knee slammed into her hard, again and again until the room began to spin.

"Nooooo...puh-leeeez" SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! WHOMMPP! "Uhhhhhh..."Jan switched from choking, to groin pounding before she finally pulled her luscious screaming prey off the desk and dropped her on the floor. Loni felt her skirt being torn off as well as the remaining tatters of her pantyhose. "Noooooo! Please....not...not that! HEEEEELP!" Loni screamed, trying desperately to escape. She made it to her hands and knees, but as she reached her feet, Jan again caught her and got her under control.

"What happens to haughty, naughty, bleached blonde bimbos, huh, Miss Loni?" Jan snarled.

Loni barely got another protest past her lips before Jan's fist buried itself deep in her naval and Loni felt herself lift up on her toes, then she bent over gasping and wheezing; her eyes wide, her crimson painted lips forming a small 'o' of shock and pain.

"Here, Jan catch," one of the cast members yelled, tossing her a ping-pong paddle. "I always keep one in my desk, just in case. Put it to good use," the order seemed friendly but it was full of deliberate, mischievous meaning. Jan giggled and the cast members laughed. Loni struggled; Loni winced and Loni whimpered with each WHACK, WHACK! Every time Jan's wide-swinging arm came down, the resulting WHACK of the ping-pong paddle on Loni's butt deflated her pride a little more.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! (whimper...whimper...whimper) A gorgeous, naked, bleached blonde bimbo secretary was learning the new office rules.

"Oh, Miss Loni!"