Pam Anderson v. Meryl Streep by sceej

The bad blood between these two blond icons - albeit for very different reasons - was legendary and had gone on for years. Typical were the catty remarks tossed off by Meryl in Vanity Fair as she bemoaned the lack of appreciation for 'serious actresses' citing, "...the glorification of the silicone enhanced plastic slut as cultural standard ... I don't mean to single out anyone, but consider the implications for acting as an avocation when someone like Pam Anderson is considered a successful actress!" Ouch! Then Pam fired back in Maxim, "I just don't buy that you can't be intelligent AND successful AND sensual AND a role model for young women. I mean, we can't ALL be this sterile Meryl Streep-type ice queen being so fucking serious all the time."

Against that backdrop then, it wasn't surprising when Fox approached the two about meeting in their celebrity boxing series, or that both readily agreed! By the time the press conference was over their contest had escalated into a no hold's barred ultimate fight ... with the winner getting five minutes alone in the ring with loser after!

Younger (and she felt tougher) Pam worked the publicity tour hard whereas Meryl threw herself into training with the same single-mindedness she applied to all her roles. The fight fired the country's imagination and split the public opinion - most men favoring Pam and most women supporting Meryl. Such was the anticipation that most of the preliminary bouts (held at the fabulous Mandaly Bay resort and casino in beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada) involving has-beens and never were's got booed mercilessly. A jubilant Monica Lewinski, fresh off a one-sided pounding of Darva Conger, was hoisted unceremoniously out of the ring with a crane to make way for the main event.

To Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman ..." Meryl strode confidently down to the ring accompanied by her second, Hollywood titfighting legend, extraordinary, Susan Sarandon. Meryl, her tight body glistening with sweat from her warm up, was in remarkable shape with lean corded muscle rippling in her arms. 'Professional' would best describe her attire - black sports bra, tight black bike shorts and black ankle high wrestling shoes. Her blonde hair had been cropped short and her narrowed eyes wore an unmistakable flinty hard focus. Susan wore a grey sweatshirt with "STREEP" across the back and she worked the crowd for cheers. Most of the women present responded with thunderous applause although if Meryl noticed, it was impossible to see any reaction.

Then, the air erupted to the strains of Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls ..." as Pam Anderson made her way to the ring accompanied by her second, sex vixen Carmen Electra. Pam swayed seductively in red high heels, her shapely butt displayed to full advantage in a thong bikini; her massive breasts jiggling with each stride, barely contained by the string bikini top. Carmen was similarly clad and the male portion of the crowd erupted with enthusiastic support - about the ONLY support visible - as Pam and Carmen delicately entered the ring and did a once around like a couple of round girls. Susan smirked contemptuously while Meryl glared intently at the two Baywatch stars camping it up.

At last, the guest referee, female boxing champion Christy Martin, called the fighters to the center of the ring.

"You're goin' down, Granny!" taunted Pam, drawing a rebuke from Christy who proceeded to go over the stipulations, reminding both women they'd agreed to no holds barred with UFC rules; victory by knockout or submission only and the winner getting five minutes with the loser afterward - and no legal ramifications from any in-ring activity.

"Any questions from the black corner?" asked Christy and Meryl shook her head. "Any questions form the red corner?"

"Yeah ..." asked Pam sarcastically, "Whaddaya gonna do with her body?"

"That's enough, Pam, this is serious business!" scolded Christy Martin, obviously having never been associated with the Fox Network before. Then she motioned to both fighters, telling them, "Awright ... let's get busy!"

Confident of a quick victory, Pam lunged at Meryl, her hands raised to throttle her adversary. Meryl deftly ducked the lunge and Pam reeled several steps forward, lurching nearly out of control before she could right herself, turn and attempt another lunge. As Pam stumbled forward again, Meryl danced lightly on her toes in front of her.

"Pam, your shoes!" screamed Carmen from the corner. "Your shoes!!"

Mule dumb, Pam dutifully looked down at her feet - and saw she was STILL wearing her high heeled pumps. Never one to miss a cue, Meryl stepped dutifully forward and unleashed a left uppercut that bounced the dumbstruck Baywatch bimbo on her shapely backside! The gorgeous blonde blinked her eyes several times as the women in the crowd erupted in applause. Only seven seconds into the fight and Meryl had recorded the first knockdown! Christy Martin motioned the grim-faced Meryl to a neutral corner and took up the count, "... three ... four ... five ..."

" ... six ... seven ..." a perplexed Pam counted along with the referee until Carmen's piercing wail of, "GET UP!" pierced her foggy brain! Pam made it to her feet just at "nine" and Christy Martin tried to suppress a smile as she beckoned Meryl out of her corner.

"Th-that was a lucky punch, bitch!" declared Pam, trying to convince herself more than anyone. "Now you're gonna pay for it!"

Pam telegraphed an enormous right hand which Meryl slipped with contemptuous ease, her momentum causing the battling bimbo to crash headlong into the ropes - her big breasts draped over the top rope until she managed to push herself upright. Pam's balance was being severely affected by the fact that she was STILL WEARING ONE OF HER HIGH HEELED PUMPS! Not so amazingly, the dense blonde beauty had lost one shoe in the knockdown, yet had LIKE TOTALLY FORGOTTEN to remove the other when she got up!

Pam hobbled awkwardly away as a steely eyed Meryl walked her down, peppering her with accurate, stinging jabs to the face and body - deliberately backing Pam into a corner. Once she had the busty bimbo cornered, Meryl began to methodically work the younger woman's body, twisting her torso as she'd been taught for added torque as she sent crashing left and right hooks digging into Pam's ribs and shapely midriff. Pam let out grunts of pain as each body blow was rammed home. Instinctively, she lowered her arms and elbows in an awkward attempt to shield her "barbecued" ribs ... exactly as Meryl had wanted!

Squatting slightly, then driving upward with a thrust of her wiry legs, Meryl drove a powerful uppercut up under Pam 's chin. The Baywatch Babes eyes rolled back as she slowly collapsed to her knees, then to all fours, her head hanging down, her wild shock of bleached blonde hair now disheveled and covering her flushed face.

"Thirty three seconds into the first round ... second knockdown," called the ring announcer as - once again - the women in the crowd rose to their feet and cheered as Meryl sauntered with swelling confidence to a neutral corner.

"GET UP, PAM! GET UP!" shrieked Carmen to her dazed fighter. "Think about what she's gonna do if she wins!!!"

It was fear, more than her fighting heart, that forced the now frightened Pam to pull herself up the ropes her feet at the count of eight. She had badly underestimated Meryl - "that little Vasser girl" she'd called her - and was now paying a terrible price for it. Beaming with confidence, Meryl resolved to have some "fun" with Pam before she ended it. To her surprise, Christy Martin, the referee, winked at Meryl as she beckoned her forward. "Give it to her good!", Christy whispered.

Meryl was determined to treat the crowd to a wrestling exhibition. Grappling her soft opponent into a headlock, Meryl shocked Pam by hurling her own weight violently backward to execute ... a suplex! Pam's petite body was suspended upside down above the ring for a split second before it went crashing down heavily on her shapely rump and back - her third trip to the canvas in less than a minute!

"Uppsy-Daisey, Titsie!" teased Meryl as she pulled her chesty opponent to her feet by her hair, "Now you're going for a little spin!"

"P-P-Please ... Meryl ... I-I've had enough ..." whimpered Pam as Meryl grabbed her wrist and began to swing her around in an Irish whip, eventually launching the silicone enhanced wonder into the ring ropes which stretched to their limit ... then launched Pam back toward a waiting Meryl who delivered a vicious clothesline that lifted Pam right out of her remaining red shoe!

"Fifty six seconds into the bout," droned the bored announcer. "And Anderson's down for the FOURTH time!"

Pam lay flat on her back, squinting up at the hot overhead lights at the Mandalay Bay as they seemed to spin, then she began crying in frustration! This was NOT what she'd planned at all! SHE was supposed to be handing out a beating - and instead that skinny dishwater blonde Meryl Streep was utterly humiliating her - in public, no less!

"Are you quitting, Pam?" asked Christy Martin politely, unable to hide a hint of mirth in her tone.

"Are you kidding?" interjected Meryl, winking at Martin. "Pammy here's just getting warmed up, isn't that right, Juggsie?"

Screaming in frustration and rage, Pam from flat on her back, aimed a savage kick at her tormentor. Meryl deftly caught Pam's ankle and twisted it behind her own knee as the announcer called ... " ... and Streep applies a spinning toe hold ... turning it into a figure four!"

The figure four leglock! Nearly impossible to apply to a resisting opponent! Near impossible to escape! Yet in a few weeks, Meryl had mastered this most devastating move! Pam was helpless; Meryl had only to lean forward to apply excruciating pressure and pain to Pam's knee ... which she did slowly, gradually increasing the tension with sadistic relish!

"Owwwwwwwwwww ... owwwwwwwwww .... she ... she's gonna break my leg!" shrieked Pam, waving her arms frantically in the air as Meryl cranked the hold.

"Do you submit?" Martin barked.

Pam stared at Meryl's fiendish smile and considered what her fate would be at the hands of the heartless bitch. "Never!" mumbled Pam, defiantly, biting her lip as she choked back tears.

"Work the bitch, Meryl!" shouted Susan, beaming in the corner. "Take your time with the bimbo! You got all night to toy with her!"

"Right on, sister!" called Meryl, arching an eyebrow devilishly as she released some of the pressure on Pam's aching knee. Regarding Pam's meticulously pedicured foot, Meryl taunted, "Hey 'Titsie', tell me something ... are you TICKLISH?"

Pam's face blanched noticeably. "Y-Y-You can't be serious ... not in front of all these people ... you wouldn't humiliate me like that, would you? You wouldn't (gulp) ... TICKLE MY BARE FEET?"

"Let me put it to you this way, Juggs, ... kootchy kootchy kootchy!"

Meryl began tickling Pam's bare sole mercilessly as the blonde bimbo began to flop about uncontrollably her big breasts almost leaping from beneath the tiny triangles covering her nipples - cackling with hysterical laughter - Pam really had highly ticklish feet! After about forty seconds, she was sobbing between gales of laughter, gasping desperately for air, totally exhausted.

"I'm bored!" sighed Meryl theatrically. Again, she hauled Pam up by her hair and told her, "Now put up your dukes, bimbo!".

Pam tentatively raised her hands in a defensive pose - and Meryl was on her like a whirlwind, popping Pam's head with stinging lefts and rights until it was bobbling on the blonde's shoulder's like a tether bag. When the glistening Meryl stepped back to admire her handiwork; once glamorous Pam was a wreck! Her arms hung at her sides, her knees were slightly knocked together and, incredibly, her eyes were crossed and she had a goofy half-smile on her face. And the bout wasn't yet two minutes old!

Meryl shouldered the dazed Pam into a corner where the exhausted bimbo slumped with her limp arms draped over the ropes preventing her from falling. Meryl studied her for a moment, but like everyone else in the hushed arena, her gaze was fixed on Pam's massive, heaving, jiggling knockers.

"Time for some HEAVY BAG WORK!" Meryl announced as she grabbed Pam's top, tugged firmly until - with an audible "ping" - the material gave way and Pam's ample fun bags came bouncing into full, unobstructed view! For the first time in the fight, Meryl was cheered by the men as well as the women.

Meryl delivered a cuffing blow to Pam's left breast, causing the silicone filled globe to compact - then flop about slightly. She delivered a similar blow to the right tit with the same result. Gradually increasing her punching speed, Meryl got into a rhythm and soon she was putting on a blazing display of hand speed ... making Pam 's breasts bounce, flop and flap like twin speed bags!

"Thirty seconds!" called Susan, with a sense of urgency - thirty seconds left in the round! The entire hellacious beating to that point had been compressed into two minutes thirty seconds. Meryl stepped back, wanting to finish Pam quickly. Unwilling to allow her time to catch her breath, think a little and, however improbably, perhaps come up with a plan for victory. Pam swayed unsteadily, out on her feet - her once magnificent breasts a rapidly deepening scarlet with black and blue splotches. Christy Martin looked for a moment as though she were going to step in and stop the fight, then realized if she did the entire audience may well tear her limb from limb.

"Now, SLUT!" Meryl hissed. "I'm going to finish you off!".

She landed a scalding hook to Pam's right temple, then the left temple - both eyes began to blacken almost immediately! A huge uppercut and Pam smiled goofily as her four front teeth (caps actually) fell out and scattered at her feet! Pam staggered to the center of the ring, reeling and half conscious.

The crowd was chanting "... MERYL ... MERYL ... MERYL ..." as she drew back her right hand and measured her foe carefully - the round clock ticked down, …sixteen seconds ... fifteen ... fourteen ... Meryl theatrically kissed her right fist, then drove a thundering punch to the center of Pam 's simpering face. The blonde bimbo's nose broke with an audible CRACK and she collapsed into a heap on her knees, face on the mat, her shapely ass thrust in the air.

" ... eight ... nine ... ten ... you're out!" barked Christy Martin, although she could have counted to fifty and it wouldn’t have mattered.

As the arena thundered with applause, the announcer droned, "... and the winner ... by a resounding knockout in the first round ... Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeryll Streeeeeeeeeeeeeep ... Streep!"

A horrified Carmen tried to drag the barely conscious Pam from the ring, but the announcer declared, "Ms. Streep will now be granted five minutes in the ring with Ms. Anderson."

"Beat it, bimbo ..." Susan sneered at Carmen. “The only reason for you to be in the ring is if you're looking for a fight! Whadda you say, bitch, you game? I'm not doing anything right now!".

Sheepishly, Carmen left the ring - wondering what fate awaited her pulverized costar as Meryl and Susan dragged the dazed Pam into the center of the ring and slammed the slumping blondes butt down on a folding chair. Susan brought out a black satchel from the corner and plucked from inside - a set of cordless clippers.

"I'm going to take this skank's bush!" chortled Meryl. "Now ... let's see if she's a REAL blonde!"

Meryl snipped off Pam's thong, revealing ... an ALREADY shaved as slick and bald as an egg pussy!

"Hmmmm," Meryl muttered. "She's such a slut ... I should’ve seen THAT coming!"

"No matter!" chimed in Susan cheerfully. "I know just the thing to do!"

Susan clicked on the shears and raised them to Pam's scalp line. "Would you care to do the honors, Ms. Streep?"

"With pleasure, Ms. Sarandon!" chuckled Meryl.

She plowed the clippers through Pam's blonde mop, leaving a swath of stubble in it's wake. As Meryl snipped back and forth, Pam's hair began to resemble a sort of reverse Mohawk. Pass after pass was made and in less time than it took to imagine it, Pam's lush blonde head of hair was turned to a bristly stubble of peach fuzz.

"Wh-what's going on?" murmured a dazed Pam as she started to regain consciousness.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about that, Boobsie," replied Susan in a soothing tone. “Here, you just relax ..."

Susan took one of Pam's nipples in her thumb and forefinger and stimulated it, twirling the hard nub delicately, plucking it and pulling until it swelled and came erect.

"Mmmmmmm ..." the dazed blonde murmured. "... that feels nice ..."

As Susan teased and titillated the slutty stupefied blondes tits, Meryl massaged shaving cream into Pam's bristly scalp and began whetting a straight razor. With precise care, Meryl delicately stroked away the foamy stubble - leaving Pam bald as a cue ball! As a finishing touch, she rubbed Pam's denuded skull with baby oil and buffed it to a high gloss sheen with a towel!

"All done!" announced Meryl proudly. "Time to debut the NEW Pam Anderson!"

Rousing the dazed blonde, Meryl put her in a painful hammerlock and took the devastated beauty for a humiliating walk of shame! A sobbing stumbling Pam was paraded from corner to corner and exhibited to the approving female element of the crowd, which cheered lustily. Her breasts had been battered black and blue, both eyes blackened, her front teeth left with a wide gap where her caps had been, her nose was swollen ... and her head shaved bald as bowling ball.

"Get this has-been loser out of here!" taunted Meryl as security tossed a blanket around the woman who had ONCE been the glamorous Pam and led her sobbing from the ring. As Meryl and Susan took their bows in the ring, they spied a sheepish figure cowering in Pam’s corner.

"So how about it, Carmen?" sneered Susan, "You still wanna make it a double header?"

Carmen blanched and began backing up muttering, "Don't you touch me ... k-k-keep your distance ... don't come near me!”

Then Carmen turned tail and ran for the locker room with a shriek. Meryl and Susan exchanged a knowing look, then ran after her!!!