Welcome back friends! A new year has dawned and with it comes all the promise and anticipation that the future can hold. Now it’s been some time since we last held palaver and there are some things I’d be very interested to tell you about, but the fact is, your nameless narrator is running a bit behind schedule and thus, all I can give you is the basics. Tonight, at the Black 13 club in the little northern California town of Antonio Bay, Richard Fannin’s promotion is having it’s first show of the new year, and if the action on the under-card has been any indication of the things to come, it seems that all the women on the roster resolved to make sure that 2006 will be the greatest year yet in terms of in ring action. But as great as the other matches on tonight’s card were, I must draw your attention to the night’s main event.

You see tonight marks the debut of a new face in the promotion. Tonight, extremely talented blonde rookie Kaley had been hand picked by the front office to face off with the newest acquisition of the talent department. Selma was a name not well known even among studied wrestling fans, but after Fannin and some of the other folks in the front office had seen tapes of her work, the brunette had been signed to a hefty contract and the hype machine had gone into full swing. For the last several weeks, vignettes promoting her first match had been playing during shows and anticipation among the fans was keen to say the least. In fact… damn, I’ve started to ramble on again and the Announcer’s just about to get started. Oh well, I’ll shut up and let you enjoy the match….
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Standing in the middle of the ring, the Announcer brought the microphone to his lips and proclaimed, “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for our Main Event! Introducing first, she stands 5’8”, allow me to introduce, Kaley Cuoco!”

Marilyn Manson’s ‘The Fight Song’ roared through the club and the blonde phenom breezed her way through the curtain. Standing at the top of the ramp, it was easy to see why Kaley was making waves in the promotion. Clad in a bubblegum pink bikini complemented by matching white pads and boots, the powerful blonde had steam rolled most of her opposition to date and she seemed to be a lock to be in line for title contention after a few more wins. Smirking confidently to the crowd, Kaley strides to the ring and slides under the bottom rope before going to her corner. Looking at the entryway, Kaley’s expression is grim. She realizes she’s been cast in the role of spoiler and it’s one she’s looking forward to playing.

Regaining his breath, the Announcer was about to continue when 311’s ‘You Wouldn’t Believe’ started up, heralding the arrival of Richard Fannin. Shortly thereafter, the promoter appeared with a microphone in his hand and cut the music.

Smiling toward the ring he said to the Announcer, “Sorry about that pal. I just wanted to do our newest hire the honor of introducing her myself.” Looking towards the crowd he continued, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve made it my goal to bring you the greatest collection of talent this business has to off and so far I think I’ve done pretty well on that front. But a while ago, I was sent a tape and that forced me to recognize that I’d missed a few superb wrestlers along the way. But that’s changed, and tonight you’re going to see why. I’ve found one of the best there is, and what better way to introduce her to you than by pitting her against one of the best new talent's we've got?”

He looked towards the blonde in the ring and said, “Kaley, some may think you’re getting a bum deal tonight, but I think you’ve got more power than you realize. You can play the spoiler tonight and I promise you right now, that if you win, I’ll get you a title shot in the next thirty days.”

In the ring, Kaley smiled and nodded. She liked this a lot. Back on stage, Fannin turned his attention back to the crowd and said, “Alright, that’s enough words, let’s get to the action. Introducing her opponent, she stands 5’3”…Ladies and Gentlemen, you may not know her now but by the time the night is over, I can guarantee you’ll never forget the first time you saw…Selma Blair!”

The promoter stepped back into the shadows of the stage just as ‘Stricken’ by Disturbed rolled through the speakers. The song crunched along for about twenty seconds and then the brunette was there on stage, standing silhouetted in the entryway and watching everything with a calculated stare. Looking out at the audience, the slender brunette’s lips curved up in the tiniest of smiles and then she was moving down the ramp toward the ring. For her debut outing, Selma was clad in a simple black two-piece bikini that has blue accents that looked almost like gas lamps viewed through a heavy fog. Her shoulder length black hair fell loose on her shoulders and her boots and pads were a simple dark blue. Approaching the ring apron, Selma hopped up onto the ring in one feline motion and in the next instant she had vaulted over the top rope and landed in the center of the ring. Staring at the crowd and her opponent with stoic detachment, Selma went to her corner and waited for the match to get underway.

The bell chimed and the crowd’s buzz died considerably. After several weeks of hype, the faithful fans of Black 13 were going to see just what Selma could do in the ring. Over the coming minutes they would soon discover if she was as good as her hype or whether she would be painfully introduced to defeat at the more than capable hands of Kaley Cuoco. Eyeing the small brunette warily from her corner, Kaley smiled smugly and strode toward the center of the ring, clearly relishing the chance ruin the brunette's first match with the company. Putting her hands on her hips, she glared at Selma as Selma waited another second before leaving her corner and meeting Kaley in the center of the ring. Standing a foot or so away, from the brunette, Kaley smirked, looking down her nose at the smaller woman.

Her green eyes glittering, Kaley taunted, “Hesitating already short stuff? Boy, Rich is gonna be pissed after I demolish all the work of his hype machine in a few short minutes.”

She took a step closer, silently daring Selma to make a retort. The brunette was quiet for a moment and then she smiled. Craning her head up to look Kaley in the eyes, she said, “You are going to destroy the hype surrounding me Kaley. After I obliterate you, everyone’s going to see that I’m far better than they’d ever expected.”

Now it was Selma who stepped forward, stopping so close to Kaley that the tall blonde could feel Selma’s breath on her face. Kaley scowled. This was certainly not the kind of response she was used to.

Lowering her voice a bit, she growled back, “Talk all you want runt, there’s no way I’m going to be your stepping stone.”

Selma only smiled again. “Oh I wouldn’t think of you in that regard either. You’re more of a…. sacrificial lamb I’d say. You’re just too dumb to know it yet.”

Kaley had enough! “You cocky bitch!” she hissed through clenched teeth even as her palm was arcing towards Selma’s face. The withering forehand slap was dead on and Selma’s head snapped back as the blow rocked her. Quickly recovering, Selma’s once disinterested eyes suddenly glowed with a fiery intensity and the smaller girl wasted no time in returning Kaley’s gift, cracking her palm off Kaley’s cheek with a slap of her own.

Kaley’s teeth clacked together from the force of the blow, but she had been slapped many times before and the blonde had recovered in an instant. Setting her feet, she glared death at Selma and spat, “ Hope you enjoyed it chump. That’s the last shot you’re getting.” Even before the words were out of her mouth, Kaley as in motion, exploding forward with both hands out to catch Selma square in the chest with a forceful shove. Selma was taken off her feet by the simple move and she landed on her back with a little ‘OOF’ but the brunette didn’t stay down for long. In the next instant, she somersaulted backward and popped to her feet, none the worse for wear. Taking advantage of Kaley’s moment of surprise (the blonde hadn’t ever seen anyone roll through a shove like that before) Selma launched herself at Kaley and shoved her back, sending the blonde backpedaling awkwardly against the ropes.

As Kaley scrambled against the ropes, Selma put her hands on her hips and fired back, “Well look at that. Looks like I already doubled my offense. Let’s see what else you can throw at me, tall, dark and ditzy.”

Snarling low in her throat, Kaley leaned into the ropes for momentum and then charged the brunette with her right arm extended, hoping the suddenness of her attack would catch Selma off guard. But the brunette was not so easily fooled and she easily ducked under the Clothesline attempt before whirling on her heel and dropping into a slight crouch. As soon as Kaley slowed and started to turn around, Selma leapt into the air and drove both boots out, smacking her heels into Kaley’s chin with a crisp little THWAP!

Selma’s Standing Dropkick took Kaley off her feet and she lay stunned on the mat for a few seconds before she rolled to her side and pushed back to a vertical base. Flipping some hair out of her eyes, Kaley found herself glaring at a composed looking Selma. Adjusting the edges of her bright pink top, Kaley spat, “OK, you’re quick. But as soon as I get a hold of you, you aren’t gonna be worth shit.”

Selma grinned that infuriating smile and said, “Why don’t you come here and find out?”

Lips curling in a sneer, Kaley stalked forward and in the next second she and Selma clenched together in a tight collar and elbow lock up. Looking to put this snotty newcomer in her place, Kaley let Selma push against her for a second and then she brought her height and strength advantage into play, easily bulling the slender brunette back into the corner. With Selma’s back pressed against the turnbuckles, Kaley got her hands under Selma’s chin and pushed back as hard as she could, ignoring the ref’s count while she put tremendous strain on the newcomer’s neck. Finally, as the ref droned past ‘FOUR’ Kaley released the clinch and took a step back. Grinning into Selma’s face as she gasped for breath. Ignoring the ref that was trying to force a clean break, Kaley stood her ground and purred, “Welcome to the big time shorty.” just as she blasted Selma in the face with a sharp right hand.

Merely glaring at the ref as he tried to admonish her, Kaley buried one hand in the brunette’s dark locks while the other grabbed a handful of her black and blue top. Hauling Selma out of the corner, Kaley sneered, “Let’s see you roll out of this bitch!”

She twisted her hips violently and tossed Selma three quarters of the way across the ring with a simple but highly effective Beal Throw. The brunette sensation hit the mat with a hard SPLAT and she stayed sprawled where she’d landed this time. (Even the most talented of wrestlers don’t have an answer for landing flat on their back) Preening for the crowd for a moment, Kaley fluffed her hair and wiggled her hips before turning back to Selma who was just getting to her feet.

Cutting the distance between them, Kaley chided, “Looks like all I gotta do to you is grind ya down and then finish you off. Bet ya won’t be so impressive when I’m sitting on your face.”

Grabbing a handful of Selma’s dark hair, she pulled the smaller girl in close to add, “And trust me. I AM going to sit on your face.” Not waiting for a reply, Kaley looped her right arm under Selma’s left arm and easily hauled her rival off her feet, tossing her across her hip and back to the mat with a simple Arm Drag.

Interestingly enough, it seemed as though the brief trip through the air was enough to clear Selma’s head and even as she was hitting the mat, Selma was rolling with the impact and popping to her feet. Surprised at the brunette’s quick recovery, Kaley frowned and lunged forward, meaning to tie up Selma in the clinch once more. But Selma had learned quickly from their last encounter and she countered Kaley’s charge with one of her own before slipping an arm under Kaley’s and taking the blonde to the canvas with her own Arm Drag. Hitting the mat on her side, Kaley grunted in anger and rolled to her feet. Still relatively close to Selma, Kaley lunged and went for another Arm Drag. She got as far as locking an arm under her foe’s arm, but when she tried to haul Selma off her feet, the brunette, slipped her arm free and Kaley tumbled backwards, falling to one knee a few paces in front of the brunette. In the split second that the blonde was off balance, Selma whirled around in a circle and on her way back around, she lashed her right foot out at Kaley’s temple, catching the unsuspecting blonde with a wicked Spin Kick.

Kaley groaned in pain and fell back onto the mat, dazed and cradling her suddenly throbbing skull. Selma on the other hand was merely observing her handiwork and taking in the crowd noise, which had gone up a few octaves when the kick connected. The crowd was surprised that the smaller girl had been able to summon such an effective counter seemingly out of thin air and take the much larger Kaley off her feet. Gazing out into the crowd, Selma mouthed, “That was nothing.” before turning her attention back to Kaley. Walking over to where Kaley was splayed out, Selma got her boot under the blonde’s ribs and kicked her over onto her back. Then in a surprising move, she stepped onto Kaley’s belly, both feet sinking into the blonde’s toned stomach.

Looking down at her foe, Selma smirked and said quietly, “Well, sacrificial lamb and welcome mat! How polite.”

Getting nothing in the way of a response from Kaley, Selma bent her knees slightly and then leaped upwards to execute a perfect back flip that ended with her landing chest first across Kaley’s exposed tummy. The Standing Moonsault brought another murmur of applause from the crowd and they chanted ‘ONE’ as the ref knelt to make the count.

Sadly, that was all they got to chant because Kaley shoved Selma off before anything else could be reached. Rolling lightly to her feet, Selma stalked Kaley as the bigger girl flopped onto her side and then pushed to her feet. She had just turned around to confront Selma when Selma stepped forward and drilled a stiff kick into Kaley’s thigh. The blonde moaned and cried out, staggering back to protect her legs even as Selma snapped off a few more kicks; treating Kaley’s legs the way a lumberjack would treat an especially stubborn tree. A few more of these blows dropped Kaley to her knees, and the blonde could only moan and try to catch her breath as Selma taunted you. “Well Kaley you’re back on your knees and I think that’s fine, but something tells me a girl like you is at her best on her back.”

The insinuation and blatant contempt coming from the brunette stoked Kaley’s ire and she pulled her head up, glaring hatefully at her rival. Unfortunately for Kaley she looked up just in time to see Selma’s heels streaking towards her face. Kaley’s eyes widened a microsecond before the Low Dropkick connected and then her vision was nothing but stars as she was knocked off her knees and onto the mat once more. Kaley was laying on the canvas and doing her best to clear the fog out of her mind when she felt thin, steely fingers curl into her hair and haul her to her feet.

The blonde’s vision still wasn’t all that great, but her hearing was fine and she was infuriated to hear Selma’s voice cooing right in her ear, “You think I can only beat you with strikes Kaley honey? You think I can’t lock up with ya and bring you down to the mat? Well, lemme be the one that corrects your perceptions.”

Holding Kaley close, Selma trapped her in a tight Front Face Lock, and set her feet like she was preparing to plant Kaley with a DDT. But instead of simply dropping backwards, when Selma began her fall, she quickly brought up her free arm and brought it smashing down elbow first onto the back of Kaley’s neck. This blow combined with the Selma’s momentum didn’t so much pull Kaley off her feet as it did drive her straight down to land face first on the mat, with Selma’s elbow still resting painfully on her neck. The crowd cheered it’s approval at the innovative maneuver and though many of them didn’t know the name of the move (most in attendance could only describe it as a face first Eye of the Hurricane) a few of those how were aware of Selma’s work knew they had just seen a move she liked to call the Finishing Touch. Sitting on her butt beside the groaning Kaley, Selma muscled the blonde onto her back and then went for a cover. The referee had just passed ‘TWO’ when Kaley got a shoulder up. Getting to her feet, Selma ran both hands through her hair and said to her opponent, “I figured it was too early in the game to take you out. Still, it was worth the try. Actually, I’m glad you kicked out. I would have felt bad about unveiling my brand new finisher on a girl that’s already been pinned.”

Ending her reverie, Selma bent down to pick Kaley up by the hair only to be surprised by several hard punches to the gut. Breathing heavily, Kaley got to her feet and advanced on Selma, hammering several more punches into the brunette’s gut as she got in closer. Backing Selma into the ropes, Kaley grabbed her foe’s wrist and leaned in against her. Grinding rudely against the smaller girl, Kaley sneered, “It’s gonna take a lot more than your fancy flying shit to beat me Selma. My style may not be as attention getting as yours, but I’m sure I’ll be the center of attention when I pin your little ass to the mat, 1,2,3.” Looking to make good on her threat, Kaley planted her feet and whipped Selma across the ring. Watching the brunette charge towards the opposite ropes, Kaley took several steps forward, already planning what she was going to do when Selma bounced off the ropes and returned to her. Interestingly enough, Kaley didn’t get much say in what she was going to do because as Selma neared the ropes, she left her feet in a short hop that ended with both feet balanced carefully on the middle cable. In the next instant she propelled herself backwards and twisted her whole body around to face Kaley before snapping out her right foot and catching Kaley flush across the jaw with an innovative Springboard Enziguiri. Kaley’s eyes rolled back in her head and she hit the mat with a loud THUD that went virtually unheard over the roar of the crowd. In their opinion, the hype had been right. Selma wasn’t just a good wrestler, she was doing things that no one had ever seen done before. Catching her breath after the dizzying maneuver, Selma thought about covering Kaley but she decided against it. She was having too much fun running a clinic for these people and after she’d languished so long in front of crowds not even half this size, she wasn’t willing to have it end just yet.

Watching Kaley stagger to her feet, Selma adjusted her trunks and whispered, “C’mon Kaley, gimme a little something to work with here.”

When Kaley’s slightly glassy looking eyes settled on Selma, the brunette bounced back against the ropes and charged the blonde before slamming into her full force with a Clothesline. It was a testament to Kaley’s strength and poise that the blow didn’t take her off her feet. Indeed, the big blonde was shaken, but she remained standing even as Selma contemplated her next move.

Shaking her head, Selma mumbled, “Well, it’s not exactly an offense, but at least you’re not just falling down anymore. That’s a start at least.”

Fixing on a new plan, the brunette backed up a few steps before charging at Kaley again. When she was past the point of no return, Selma extended her right arm at throat level like she was attempting another Clothesline, but instead, she looped the limb tight around Kaley’s windpipe and positioned herself behind the blonde. Still moving at top speed with something resembling a loose Sleeper Hold applied on her opposition, Selma suddenly left her feet and flung them out behind her, becoming almost parallel to the mat for a moment, even though she was suspended a few feet in the air. When gravity reclaimed her, Selma crashed down the mat and took Kaley along for the ride, smashing the back of Kaley’s head and neck against the canvas with a hastily applied but no less effective Sleeper Slam.

Judging from the series of shudders that wracked Kaley’s frame after the Slam connected, Selma knew the blonde was in trouble, but she was also well aware that the bigger girl probably had a lot of fight left in her. Counting on Kaley to keep getting up, Selma got to her feet and stalked Kaley as the blonde slowly rolled onto her belly and then pushed to her feet. Knowing she needed to keep up the speed of the match if she wanted to finish Kaley off, Selma exploded forward and left her feet again, pointing both boots at Kaley’s chin with another Dropkick. Her feet were less than a foot from connecting with Kaley’s chin when the big blonde got her arms up and smashed Selma’s legs aside, effectively blocking the Dropkick and sending Selma hard into the mat. Taking a deep breath Kaley blew some of the hair out of her eyes and glared down at Selma. Finding her voice, she taunted, “C’mon tiny. I know your bouncy little self doesn’t go down that easy, so get up and let me put you down right.”

Selma obliged her a second later and popped to her feet. Kaley was expecting some sort of smart ass retort from the brunette so she already had a quip on her lips, but Selma surprised her by charging again. Reacting instinctively, Kaley lashed out with a Clothesline, but Selma ducked the blow and she was behind Kaley in an instant. Cursing her own impulsiveness, Kaley was about to turn when Selma leapt up and landed on her shoulders; legs resting on each side of the blonde’s face, her crotch pressed tightly against the back of Kaley’s head. Kaley looked frantic for a moment, she’d faced enough High Fliers to know what was about to happen and she knew that her reaction would determine just when and how this match ended. While Kaley was frantically thinking up a counter, Selma remained calm on her tall blonde perch. Believing she could wrap this up here, she thought to herself, “Nice try Kaley, but this is the end of the demonstration.”

In an amazing show of balance, she twisted around so that she was now in front of Kaley, with the center of her trunks millimeters from Kaley’s mouth and nose. Selma was in the process of falling back to complete the Hurricanrana when Kaley’s arms shot up and wrapped around her thighs, holding her suspended. Before the brunette could even curse her own mistake, Kaley took off at a dead run, cutting across the ring on a diagonal before she leapt into the air and slammed Selma down spine first into the mat, nearly breaking the impressive newcomer in half with a Running Sit Out Powerbomb. Roaring in incomprehensible triumph as Selma shuddered in her clutches, Kaley bore down on her prey’s legs and held her on the mat as the referee rushed over to make his count. He had just passed ‘TWO’ and was going for ‘THREE’ when Selma got a shoulder up. Shoving the brunette aside, Kaley spat, “Fuck!” under her breath. The blonde had been convinced that her diabolical counter would have been enough to finish her smaller opposition. Getting to her feet, Kaley raised both hands over her head and strutted around the ring, posing for the delight of her fans and the irritation of those that had been rooting on Selma.

Primly adjusting the edges of her top, Kaley then snugged her pink bottoms back into place before wiggling her butt towards the crowd. Grinning devilishly, Kaley gave her exposed flank a light slap and yelled, “Sorry losers, but I’ve already reserved a seat on Selma’s nose. But you can watch if you like. I want everybody in the building to watch me destroy this overrated poser.”

Giving her butt a final slap, Kaley whirled on her heel and sauntered back to the area of the ring where Selma was lying sprawled on her side. Standing next to the brunette, Kaley booted Selma onto her back before glaring down at the wounded girl. With hands on her hips, Kaley sneered, “I’m the welcome mat? Let me tell you something bitch, when this match is over, you’re not gonna be anything but a smear on the canvas!”

Not getting a response, Kaley just shook her head in disgust before jumping into the air and coming down belly first across Selma’s defenseless chest. The Splash was delivered perfectly and Selma’s body was painfully jackknifed under the crushing weight of her foe’s frame. Lying arrogantly across Selma for a moment, Kaley raised up on one hand, before blowing on the nails of her other hand and wiping them on her chest, a confidant show of dominance. Not interested in pinning Selma just yet, Kaley wanted to dish out more punishment and she did so right away, quickly transitioning to a mount position on Selma’s waist. Grabbing the brunette’s damp hair with her left hand, Kaley pulled Selma’s head off the mat and began to pepper her forehead with a stiff series of rabbit punches.

Savoring the breathy grunts and groans that were coming from Selma with every blow, Kaley spoke up and said, “Whatsa matter runt? Are punches something a little to basic for you to have a fancy counter for? Or maybe you just like being my bitch. Well you’re in luck Selma, I’m going to enjoy making you my bitch.”

Content to keep up the pugilistic assault a bit longer, Kaley kept at it until the ref starting buzzing and then she tossed Selma’s head down with a dismissive little push. Getting to her feet, Kaley bent down and buried both hands in the brunette’s hair before hauling her to her feet. Holding Selma weak-kneed in front of her, Kaley released her grip on the brunette’s roots and quickly wrapped both arms around Selma’s trim waist. Locking her hands, Kaley poured pressure into the Bear Hug, forcing Selma to wail and writhe in her grip.

Laughing meanly as the brunette tried to get her knees up onto Kaley’s thighs in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure, Kaley just shook her victim harder and purred, “It’s the basics that gets you isn’t it slut? You’re good with the fancy, high flying shit but you got nothing when ya come up against basic pound and ground. Well, your loss. I know that whipping your scrawny butt is going to get me noticed in the office. You got anything to say for yourself Blair? You might want to say it now because I don’t know how long your lungs are going to hold out for.”

Blinking back the dots that were swirling across her vision, Selma pulled her head up from Kaley’s shoulder and said weakly, “ I just wanted to make you look good before putting you down. Why bother hyping me up if the first person I beat is a no talent jobber? It’s not too hard to make a tramp like you look decent, but I wouldn’t flatter yourself. This is far from over!”

Kaley couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Selma was helpless in her grasp and the dumb bitch was taunting HER! She must have a death wish or something!

Deciding to indulge the brunette’s seemingly self-destructive impulses, Kaley squeezed a little harder and said, “Well gee thanks Selma, I hafta say, right now you’re making me look pretty damn good. And I’ll look even better right after this.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Kaley jerked Selma up a little higher and then pivoted around before falling towards the canvas, smashing Selma between her and the mat with a wicked Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Biting her lip in a coy grin even as Selma was gasping and writhing against her, Kaley got to her feet and pulled Selma along for the ride.

Gripping the brunette by her wrist, Kaley mused, “Last time I tried this, it didn’t end too well, but I’m willing to try again. Something makes me think your flying days are over.”

Receiving nothing more than a breathless wheeze for an answer, Kaley whipped Selma towards the ropes and watched her bounce off them without incident. As Selma sped back towards her, Kaley quickly stepped forward and got both hands against Selma’s chest and belly. With a minor grunt of exertion, Kaley shoved upward with all of her considerable strength and launched her rival high into the air. With Selma facing down at the mat from a height of several feet up, Kaley maintained her position and when Selma began to fall, Kaley got a hand on the brunette’s back and shoved down, adding even more momentum to the newcomers trip to the ground. Selma hit the mat hard and she voiced a loud cry before flopping onto her side to curl into a tight ball. Watching Selma cradle her ribs, Kaley knew she had opened a wound and she panned on exploiting it to her full advantage. Kicking the brunette onto her back again, Kaley ran the ropes herself and leapt into the air before coming down full force on Selma’s battered middle with another Splash. Grinding her abs back and forth across Selma’s Kaley got to her feet and saluted the crowd again. Catching her breath, the blonde decided that she’d worn down the brunette enough to demonstrate some of her more advanced moves. “After all,” she thought, “What was the fun of beating Selma if she couldn’t do it in a memorable way?”

Breaking her silence, she answered her own question; “There’s no fun in that at all. I’ve gotta look good when I’m knocking your skinny ass around this ring.” Feeling sufficiently recovered, she hauled Selma to her feet before doubling the brunette over with a hard Knee Lift to the belly. Smiling widely as she went about her work, Kaley reached down and pulled Selma’s arms up, hooking both limbs with her own so that they were tied in a loop behind the brunette.

Clasping her hands tightly, she said to Selma, “Here’s my twist on a basic move. I figured someone like you ought to appreciate it.”

She hoisted Selma up and held her inverted, legs high in the air, head and hair pointing down towards the mat. Grinning nastily despite the exertion of Selma’s weight on her, Kaley proceeded to turn in a slow circle, letting everyone see how she was controlling the supposedly great new addition to the roster. Finally, Kaley felt her arms begin to tremble so she fell back, completing the Double Underhook Suplex by driving the full length of Selma’s back into the canvas. Releasing her arms, Kaley rolled over onto her prey and hooked both legs, believing she would be able to win the match right now. The ref had just passed ‘TWO’ when Selma kicked out.

Sitting on her knees, Kaley wiped her brow with a forearm and said, “Tenacious aren’t ya? That’s ok, I still got a lot of stuff I’ve been dying to use on a skinny little nothing like you.”

Pulling Selma with her as she got to her feet, Kaley pulled the brunette in and trapped her in a Front Face Lock. Draping Selma’s near arm over her shoulders, Kaley then used her free hand to grab a handful of black and blue bottoms. Satisfied with her grip, Kaley lifted Selma into the air and inverted her for the second time in as many minutes. Holding the smaller woman directly over her head, Kaley let the crowd start to count off the seconds that she was holding Selma prone. They had just passed ‘EIGHT’ when Kaley demonstrated her remarkable strength again, bending her knees slightly and then straightening up, only to repeat the whole process several more times.

Suddenly bored of doing reps with her foe, Kaley simply fell backward and sent Selma crashing into the mat. where the smaller girl shrieked and clutched her back in a futile attempt to massage out some of the pain. Lying on her back for a moment to collect her thoughts, Kaley sat up and crawled over to where Selma was writhing. Straddling the brunette’s waist, Kaley gripped the brunette’s left shoulder with one hand and rested her other hand palm down along her victim’s face.

Curling her hand into a loose claw, Kaley purred, “Here’s another really simple move Selma. It’s nothing fancy but it’s still more than enough to finish you off. Hope you liked your first match, you over-hyped bitch!”

Kaley clamped down hard, applying the Face Claw with temple crushing force. Selma began to struggle immediately, but all she could do at the moment, was buck wildly at slap at Kaley’s clawing arm. Watching her opponent flail, Kaley’s face was a portrait of confidence. One didn’t have to be a psychic to follow the blonde’s thought process. She didn’t intend for Selma to pass out in the Claw. She was just using the hold long enough to make sure Selma was helpless when Kaley sat on her face.

Kaley’s grip was still locked in tight when Selma’s arms suddenly stopped their mindless thrashing and regained their purpose. Quicker than most of the audience could believe, the brunette’s hands fashioned themselves into talons and raked out at her tormentor’s face. Kaley was caught off guard by the counter and she roared in pain and surprise as Selma’s nails scored her features. Blinded temporarily, Kaley released the claw and scrambled back, doing her best to regain her sight. Rubbing both eyes with her forearm, it only took Kaley a few moments to accomplish her goal. Shaking off her blindness, the blonde grappler looked up and glared hatefully at a slowly rising Selma. Pushing to her feet, Kaley snarled low in the back of her throat and stalked over to the brunette and helped her up with a vicious yank on her long locks.

Jerking a yelping Selma back and forth by the roots, Kaley roared, “You wanna rake my face? You wanna try and play dirty? Lemme show you how to play dirty you whiny little squirt!”

Making good on her word, Kaley released her grip on Selma’s hair and whirled the slender girl around so that her back was to the blonde. Acting quickly, Kaley reached out and locked both her arms in a tight loop around the brunette’s and then clasped her hands tight. Steadying her footing, Kaley bent her knees and then hoisted Selma clear off the mat, holding the struggling brunette aloft in a painful Double Chickenwing. Shaking Selma back and forth like a terrier with a dead rat, Kaley tried her best to dislocate the newcomer’s shoulders as she slowly made her way towards one of the corners.

When she was where she wanted to be, she stopped moving and yelled, “Beginning to wish you’d stayed down bitch? No? Well let me help you change your mind!”

Then she tossed Selma forward and down, leaving the helpless brunette to smash face first into the top turnbuckle. The blow snapped Selma’s head back and her vision was nothing but dark swirls of color, as she sat slumped in the corner. Watching her handiwork with a discerning eye, Kaley cracked her knuckles and slowly stepped back a few paces. She was almost done torturing Selma now. A few more big moves and she’d be ready to put the Oompah Loompah down for good. All she needed was for Selma to turn around. It seemed that Selma must have heard her thoughts because in the next moment, the brunette turned around so that her back was to the corner and she was facing towards Kaley.

Dropping into an expectant crouch, Kaley whispered hatefully, “Have I got another puzzle for you, munchkin.”

Through with her taunting, Kaley charged forward with right arm extended, perfectly content to decapitate Selma in the corner with a brutally stiff Lariat. Unfortunately for Kaley, her plan hit a snag when Selma decided she didn’t want to just sit there and stand in for the blonde’s tackling dummy anymore. As Kaley rushed in towards her, the fog in Selma’s eyes suddenly seemed to clear and she got both tucked into her chest fast and shot them out even faster. The pair of boots caught Kaley square under the chin as she rushed in and the blonde let out a pained grunt as she was knocked back several steps by the force of the collision.

Watching closely as Kaley dropped to one knee and Selma knew this was the opening she needed! Pushing out of the corner, she thought to herself, “Alright ya big blonde dope, let’s get that highlight reel rolling again, shall we?”

Initiating the process, Selma charged the kneeling blonde and didn’t slow for a second as she drew to came to within inches of her foe. Just as it seemed she was about to simply charge through the bigger girl, Selma executed a low hop and performed a smooth roll across Kaley’s back that brought her down on her feet right behind the surprised beauty. The moment her feet hit the ground Selma was in motion, spinning on a circle on her right foot while the other foot lashed out and clipped Kaley behind the knee, taking her off her feet as neatly as it could be done. Kaley had been on the mat for less than a second when Selma’s spin finished up and even then the brunette wasn’t done. Still on one foot, Selma bent her knee and then leapt up, performing an odd looking front flip variation that brought her crashing down belly first across Kaley’s chest. The crowd was on it’s feet and screaming it’s appreciation as Selma’s Standing Shooting Star Press connected and those cheers didn’t stop even though Kaley managed to shove the brunette off of her at a little past ‘TWO’.

Shaking off Selma’s blindingly fast flurry of offense, Kaley locked eyes with the smaller beauty and managed to lunge forward, catching her around the wrist. Setting her feet, the blonde sneered, “Pretty, but not very effective bitch! Now you’re mine!”

She whipped Selma into the ropes then and waits tensely as Selma hit the ropes and sprinted back at her. Going with what worked before, Kaley ducked low and got her hands up, pushing into Selma’s chest and belly to launch the brunette into the lights. Selma had been out of her grip for less than a second when Kaley realized something was horribly wrong. She had let go of the brunette, but the brunette hadn’t let go of her. In fact, Selma’s right arm was looped tightly around Kaley’s neck while her left was pressed tightly into Kaley’s right shoulder, using her to maintain her balance as the high flier held herself several feet in the air, body fully extended and nearly parallel to the mat. She held this position just long enough to let Kaley think about what was coming and then she pistoned her knees in and fell backwards, taking the blonde off her feet and driving her face first into the canvas with a brutal DDT that hit from several feet higher than it normally would. Kaley was jerked off her feet and her forehead was spiked into the mat like a tent peg, the power of the move actually standing her on her head for a second before she sprawled forward and landed on her back, looking up at the lights.

Lying beside her stretched out foe, Selma rolled onto her back before tucking her knees into her chest again. Taking a deep breath, she sprang to her feet in one graceful motion, channeling a little bit of old school Shawn Michaels that got the crowd roaring even louder. Taking a moment to acknowledge the cheers of the audience, Selma quickly pulled Kaley to her feet and trapped her in a Front Face Lock. Setting the blonde up for a Vertical Suplex, Selma gazed into the crowd and shouted, “If you thought that was impressive, wit till you see this!” Then she bent her knees and hoisted Kaley overhead for what still looked like your basic Vertical Suplex. It was only when she let Kaley pass overhead and then land on her feet with her back to the brunette that things began to get different. Kaley’s feet had barely touched the ground when Selma sat out hard, slamming butt first into the canvas and taking Kaley along for the ride, snapping the back of the blonde’s neck backward across her shoulder in an ingenious application of a Reverse Neckbreaker.

Kaley moaned aloud and held her head in both hands as she rolled around on the mat, kicking her feet weakly as she tried her best to get back into the fight. Rising easily to her feet, Selma stalked over to Kaley and grabbed her by the wrist and ankle. Gritting her teeth, the small brunette pulled the blonde over towards one of the corners and got her into the position she wanted. With Kaley lying on her belly, Selma let the captive limbs drop to the mat and then she was walking towards the turnbuckles, which she ascended in one smooth leap.

Facing towards the ring, Selma stood up to her full height and said quietly, “Any high flier worth her salt would’ve gone to the top rope before now, so I better do the same, otherwise some of these fans might not use up all the pictures in their camera’s and that would be a shame.”

Everything was quiet then, save for the roar of the crowd, and it was all the background noise Selma needed. Dropping into a low crouch, she jumped up in a nearly vertical leap and execute one and a half full revolutions of her body before she came smashing down on Kaley’s back with a picture perfect 450 Splash. Selma was right, a lot of folks took pictures while she was in the air and even more took pictures when she popped to her feet and raised both hands high overhead, a sign that she knew the end was coming. Making sure she had shaken off any dizziness that might show up after completing such a High Risk maneuver, Selma approached Kaley quickly and pulled her to her feet.

Standing behind the crippled blonde, Selma grabbed Kaley’s wrists in both hands and pulled them awkwardly behind her. Leaning in to whisper in Kaley’s ear, “You want to try and put me on display for the crowd Kaley? Well let’s see how you deal with being the center of attention.” Making good on her ominous comments, Selma stepped back and then jumped up, wrapping her legs tightly around Kaley’s hips even while she was still wrenching the blonde’s arms out behind her. Kaley shrieked in pain as she suffered in this bizarre version of the Bow and Arrow, but the big blonde still wasn’t ready to call it a night. Ignoring the terrible burn in her shoulders as best she could, Kaley stumbled forward several paces and practically fell into the ropes. It might not have been the most elegant way to do it, but that didn’t stop the ref from calling for the break, and Selma did as she was bid. Running a hand through her hair, Selma got to her feet and slowly pulled Kaley to hers.

Standing a few paces in front of the blonde she said, “I knew you were going to be tough to beat. That’s why they chose you. It’ll make my victory all the more impressive when it hapEEERRRGGHH!”

Selma’s words trailed off into an angry hiss of pain as Kaley returned a favor from earlier and raked her fingers across the brunette’s face. Shaking off the growing pain in her back, Kaley stalked after Selma, hoping to level her with the Lariat that had failed to connect when Selma was in the corner. Sadly, the second time was not the charm and Selma ducked out of the way yet again and ended up behind Kaley once more. Before Kaley could turn around, Selma laced both of her hands across the blonde’s chin and leapt into the air, tucking both knees tightly against Kaley’s back. In the next instant, gravity pulled Selma to the canvas and she landed lightly on her back while Kaley was hauled off balance and bent painfully over the brunette’s well-placed knees. As Selma felt the Lung Blower connect, she shoved Kaley off of her knees and went for the cover, hooking both legs this time. The brunette began to get the tiniest bit frustrated when Kaley managed to power out just before the ‘THREE’ had been reached.

Sighing quietly, Selma got to her feet and jogged over to the corner where she immediately sat herself on the top turnbuckle, facing the ring. Watching Kaley recover, the brunette smiled slightly when Kaley got up and looked in the wrong direction. Keeping silent, she knew it was a matter of seconds before Kaley would whirl around and spot her. Straightening up, Selma prepared the trap and when Kaley obliged her a moment later; she sprang through the air, slamming both feet into Kaley’s ample chest. The Missile Dropkick took Kaley off her feet again and she had only been on the mat for an eye blink before Selma was covering her again.

This time, the ref was even closer to ‘THREE’ before the blonde kicked free. Pursing her lips in a grim, determined expression, Selma got up and waited for Kaley to do the same. When she saw that the blonde was pretty close to clearing her head, Selma turned her back and sprinted towards the ropes, hopping to the cable easily and staying there for the split second she needed to catch her balance. But the veteran had made a rookie mistake in turning her back on the blonde. When Kaley saw Selma run to the ropes, she’d straightened up fast and sprinted after the brunette. And as soon as Selma was perched on the ropes, Kaley got one foot up and booted Selma in the butt as hard as she could. The simple counter caught the usually wary brunette flat footed and she only had time to cry out as she crashed over the ropes and down to the floor below, landing in a sprawled heap on the thin blue pads at ringside.

Gripping the top rope in both hands, Kaley took a deep breath and glared down at her rival. “Looks like you just crashed and burned small fry. Now all that’s left is for me to pick up the pieces.” Looking to do just that, she slipped out through the middle ropes and landed on the floor next to her injured rival. Pulling the brunette to her feet, Kaley bent Selma over and wrapped both arms around her waist, trapping her in a simple Gut Wrench. Making sure her hands were locked, Kaley hauled Selma into the air and spun her around in a nearly 270-degree arc before dropping to one knee and smashing Selma down across the posted joint. The Gut Wrench Backbreaker did its job and Kaley didn’t even both to unlock her hands as she stood up and tossed Selma under the bottom rope. Sliding in after her mewling adversary, Kaley muscled the brunette onto her back and trapped her in a tight cradle while she awaited the three count.

The zebra had hit the mat twice and was looking for the trifecta when Selma got her shoulder free. Now it was Kaley’s turn to get frustrated and she took it out on the brunette with a condescending volley of slaps that knocked Selma’s face from side to side. Getting to her feet, Kaley helped Selma up by the hair and grabbed her around the wrist once more. Getting in Selma’s face, the tired blonde panted, “Figured out how to beat you honey. Can’t give you any time or room to maneuver. So guess what? I’m not letting you have either until this match is over.” Speaking no more, she sent Selma hurtling towards the ropes and she followed less than second thereafter. As soon as the brunette’s back hit the turnbuckles, Kaley hit her from the front, using her size and weight advantage to crush Selma to pulp with a ferocious Avalanche Splash. Staying tightly pressed against the breathless brunette, Kaley ground her chest back and forth for a moment before peeling off her prey and letting Selma stumble drunkenly forward.

Making good on her promise too deny Selma time or space, Kaley stalked forward and scooped the smaller girl onto her shoulder so that the point of her right shoulder was resting snugly against Selma’s belly. Wrapping her arms tightly around the brunette’s middle, Kaley sauntered towards the middle of the ring, and turned around, letting everyone see her captive’s helplessness.

Tightening her grip, Kaley said, “Try to hold onto your lunch short round. There will plenty of time for vomiting once you’re sitting all alone in your locker room.”

Kaley ceased her taunting and jumped into the air. Tucking both knees under her, she landed easily on the canvas while Selma’s stomach was driven wickedly into Kaley’s shoulder in a move that could most easily be described as an Inverted Holmes Wrecker. (Just how Katie felt about Kaley modifying her move is worth investigating, but that’s a story for another day)

Shaking her matted golden locks off her face, Kaley hauled Selma off the mat and was getting to lay the bad mouth on her when the diminutive brunette tore into her blonde tormentor with a fusillade of punches to the chest and face. Gasping in surprise, Kaley quickly came to her senses and fought back, hammering punches of her own into Selma’s ribs and kidneys. The two warriors continued in this fashion for the better part of ten seconds before Selma rocked Kaley back on her heels with an Uppercut, sending her wobbly butt into the ropes. Pouncing on Kaley, Selma grabbed her adversary’s wrist and tossed her towards the far ropes. She was in the process of releasing her grip on Kaley’s hand when the blonde, planted her feet and reversed the momentum of the Irish Whip, sending Selma into the ropes instead. Thinking on her feet, Selma sped up as she charged into the ropes and picked up speed as she careened back towards Kaley.

When the distance was right, she left her feet and flew through the air toward her rival, trying to take Kaley off her feet with a High Cross Body. Well, the move connected but it didn’t take Kaley off her feet. The blonde’s power size advantage was just too great and she plucked Selma out of the air with ease, holding her perpendicular across her chest. Too tired at this point to do much more taunting, Kaley settled for mouthing, “Caught ya!”

She releases the hand holding Selma’s butt and shoved out, feeling the other girl’s legs and torso swing under the arm that’s still holding the Selma’s shoulder. Simultaneous with that motion, Kaley twists her hips violently in the direction of the spin and slams forward, driving the full length of Selma’s body into the canvas with this devilishly vicious Swinging Power Slam. Draping herself over Selma’s quivering form, Kaley doesn’t even bother to hook a leg as the ref kneels to make the count. The nonchalant nature of her cover would come back to haunt Kaley later as Selma was able to get an arm into the air at the last possible moment. Cursing under her breath, Kaley gets to her feet and staggers over to Selma’s feet. Taking another shuddery breath, Kaley bends down and grabs Selma’s ankles, lifting both of her captive’s legs off the mat before tucking them under her armpits.

Glaring into Selma’s dazed face, Kaley sneered, “Nowhere to go now Selma. You’re not going to be nearly as impressive after I’ve broken your back.”

Planning to make this threat a promise, Kaley lifted Selma’s legs as high as they would go and then began to spin in a slow circle. At first, the brunette’s shoulders were dragging on the canvas but as Kaley continued to spin, physics came into play and she was pulled several inches off the canvas, held totally prone in Kaley’s old school application of the Giant Swing. Continuing her nauseating spin cycle, Kaley knew she couldn’t keep this up for much longer so she looked for the coup de grace. Picking up speed for a final turn, she stopped suddenly and turned Selma onto her belly. In the same motion, Kaley sat down hard, trapping her smaller rival in a spine wrenching Boston Crab in the middle of the ring. With the Crab locked in perfectly, Kaley leaned back as far as she dared, putting insidious pressure on Selma’s lower back and legs. Roaring her triumph, Kaley slammed her butt repeatedly into Selma’s back, all the while demanding that the official check the brunette for her surrender.

Down on the mat, Selma was tearing at her hair in a last ditch effort to avoid tapping out. Looking at the ropes a few feet away, the brunette almost resigned herself to an inauspicious debut and another uninspired run in the mid card.

As she was raising a hand to slap the mat, she suddenly stopped, and thought, “So you wanna tap? Fine go ahead, but keep in mind that if you tap now, you’ll be a nobody forever. Even if you win a dozen matches in a row after this, folks are gonna remember that you tapped to Kaley Cuoco on your first night on the job.”

Placing both palms on the canvas, Blair growled, “Fuck that!” and began to power her way ever so slowly towards the ropes and the sanctuary they promised.

Feeling herself begin to move, Kaley looked over her shoulder and screamed in dismayed rage when she saw that Selma was somehow still in this fight, “GIVE UP BITCH! YOU’RE NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS AND THE DAMN ROPES CAN’T SAVE YOU!”

But Selma just tuned her out and several seconds later the weary brunette reached out and snagged the bottom rope, immediately demanding to the ref that Kaley release her hold. Kaley roared her fury and the blonde fought against the urge to simply keep the hold locked in, disqualification be damned.

In the end, Kaley let Selma go, but only because she knew the brunette didn’t have anything left in her tank. Her face twisted into a heartless snarl, Kaley grabbed both of Selma’s ankles and dragged her back into the middle of the ring. Letting the limbs drop to the canvas, she stared a hole through her nemesis and spat, “You’re gonna wish you had just tapped out. Now I’m gonna make sure you leave her on a tiny stretcher.” She had just finished saying this and was reaching down to hoist Selma up when the brunette tucked her legs up against her chest and then shot them out, locking her ankles around Kaley’s neck. Before the blonde even knew what was going on, Selma planted her hands on the mat and twisted hard to the right, tossing Kaley over her with a jury-rigged Hurricanrana delivered while she was still on her back.

Ignoring the surprised admiration of the crowd, Selma rolled to her feet and watched Kaley struggle to hers. Setting her sights on the blonde, Selma taunted, “Wanna lock up klutz?”

Choking back her rage, Kaley sneered, “The next time we lock up, this match is going to be over very quickly.”

Selma flipped some hair out of her eyes. “The match is already over, you’re just too blonde to know it yet.”

That barb did it for Kaley and she lunged forward with talons aimed at Selma’s face. Selma launched herself at the blonde in response, but she underestimated Kaley’s penchant for dirty deeds and she was stopped cold when the big blonde fired a hard knee right into the front of her trunks. Smiling evilly as Selma seemed to deflate in front of her, Kaley shot her right arm out and wrapped it around Selma’s throat.

Pulling the newcomer in close, Kaley said, “All the fancy shit in the world can’t save you from a knee to the cunt. Welcome to Loser-ville, bitch!”

She bent her knees and thrust upward, hauling the brunette off her feet in the beginning of the Choke Slam that Kaley often used to finish off her opposition. Her arm was fully extended and she was less than a second away from slamming Selma down into the mat when the brunette brought her arms up and then down in a hard double chop on Kaley’s shoulders.

The blonde cried out and her hand popped open allowing Selma to slip free from her grip and land easily behind her. While Kaley was still distracted, Selma reached forward, grabbed a handful of Kaley’s hair and bent her awkwardly backwards, nestling Kaley’s chin in her armpit to trap the larger girl in a painful Inverted Face Lock. Holding Kaley prone in this position, Selma took long enough to whisper, “Gotcha!”

The word was still hanging in the air when Selma twisted her entire frame around so that she was now standing in front of Kaley with the dazed blonde’s chin resting on her shoulder. Not holding this position for more than a second, Selma jumped and sat out, landing on her butt, while simultaneously jamming Kaley’s chin into the point of her shoulder with an novel application of a move most would know as the Stunner. The move certainly lived up to its name in this case; Kaley’s head snapped painfully backwards and the force of the landing actually stood her up on her feet for a second. The crowd held it’s collective breath as the blonde stood on spaghetti legs and then simply fell face first to the mat, unmoving except for a slight twitch in her right leg. Letting go of their breath, the crowd let out a low whistle at the move they had just seen, which was entirely appropriate since Selma had dubbed her latest bit of offensive innovation ‘The Whistler’.

Sitting on her butt next to Kaley’s decimated figure, Selma let out a ragged breath before she got to her feet. Taking her time, the brunette looked out at the audience before she looked back at Kaley. Selma knew that Kaley was done, but she didn’t think she wanted to end the match just yet. Fannin had worked hard to put her over, but Selma knew that her ultimate success in this federation depended on solely on her. Stalking over to Kaley’s head, Selma knelt down and pulled the semiconscious blonde to her feet before trapping her in a simple Standing Head Scissors. Wrapping her arms around the blonde’s waist, Selma tightened her grip and then gave the audience a final, knowing look.

Speaking over the buzz of the audience, Selma called, “Get ready folks. You’ve never seen anything like this!" She bent her knees slightly and then executed a tight front flip that culminated in her spiking the top of Kaley’s head into the top of the mat with what could only be described as a Flipping Pile-Driver. There was a moment of dead silence after the move that would come to be known as the 'Blair Raid' connected and then the crowd was on their feet and going bat shit nuts, roaring their approval as Selma pushed Kaley’s decimated form onto her back.

Getting to her feet again, Selma stood over Kaley and looked down. A small grin broke out on her face as she said, “I should probably sit on your face, if I wanted to cement my place in the hearts of these fans, but I’d hate to diminish the impact of the Blair Raid with such a common act, so I’ll settle for something a little more subdued.”

Speaking no more, she placed one foot on Kaley’s chest and simply waited while the ref counted, “ONE… TWO… THREE!”

The bell rang and Selma had won her first match in Richard Fannin’s promotion. Still smiling as she removed her boot from Kaley’s chest, she walked over to the corner of the ring and motioned for a mike. Getting what she wanted, the brunette turned back to the ring and addressed everyone within the sound of her voice.

“I gather you’re impressed?” The crowd agreed they were! “Well, you can rest assured that you haven’t seen anything yet. There are a lot of so-called stars in this promotion that can’t do a fraction of what I can in this ring, and yet they’re household names. That’s going to change. Soon all they’ll be known for is getting demolished by me. And that includes one half of your current tag team champions. That’s right Sarah, I haven’t forgotten about you. We have a few issues to settle. Once you’ve dealt with all your current distractions, and once I’ve proved the hype behind me is real… well, I’ll finish what we started five years ago. Your time has come Slayer. Tick tock. Tick tock.”