Selma Blair vs. Erica Durance vs. Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. Jennifer Love Hewitt by The Walkin’ Dude

WHAM! The ring shook and the capacity crowd at the Torchwood Tavern roared its approval as Jennifer Lopez sat out, spiking Kat Heigl’s head into the mat with the Air Raid Crash she’d dubbed Once around the Block. At this point in all her previous matches, J-Lo had set up for the Ridin’ the Six Tombstone Piledriver, or if there was no resistance left in her foe, just put her away with the Reverse Face Sit. But Katherine the Great had proved to be anything but a normal opponent. She’d taken Lopez to the limits of her endurance and though the Latina Supreme was loathe to admit it, she wasn’t sure she had enough left in her to mount the blonde’s face.

Wanting nothing more than for the match to be over, Lopez rolled Heigl over onto her back and pounced across the Amazon’s gulping belly. Hooking Kat’s leg in a tight cradle, J-Lo closed her eyes and bore down with every ounce of remaining strength as the official swooped in to count off, “ONE… TWO… THREE!”

Shoving Heigl’s legs aside, Jen got up on wobbly legs and saluted fans and detractors alike. Breath coming in great, tearing gasps, the victorious diva glanced down at the insensate blonde and muttered, “Next time, I’ll finish you properly, hon!”

Without another word, she nudged Kath under the bottom rope and sent her dripping onto the thin blue mats outside the ring. Having cleared her arena of any unwanted detritus, J-Lo strutted across the ring to the corner nearest the Time Keeper and demanded a microphone. When her order had been satisfied, Lopez strolled back to the center of the squared circle and allowed the fans to take her in. Love her or hate her, it was hard to deny Lopez had presence, and the skill to back it up. Clad in a revealing two-piece black bikini dusted with gold glitter, the Latina Supreme regained her usual air of haughty superiority only seconds after surviving the toughest match of her tenure in the promotion, and that was a skill very few possessed.

Satisfied that the fans knew who had won, the self proclaimed Booty Queen brought the mic to her lips and said, “Go ahead, you can say it. I make this look GOOD.” The crowd agreed that she did, and after they’d died down a bit, J-Lo continued, “But as good as I look right now, there’s one thing that’s missing. You know what that is?”

Not waiting for the mob to respond, she answered her own question. “It’s Championship Gold! I’ve been here for about seven months now and I still don’t have a World Title. That’s going to change soon though. See, while I’m not part of the Fatal Four Way that’s coming up next, I DO have a guaranteed title shot and I’m sick of letting it collect dust. So this message goes out to the four tramps in the title match. Selma Blair, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Erica Durance and Sarah Michelle Gellar, you are officially in my sights. Whichever one of you wins tonight, you better not get too attached to that belt because I’m going to take it from you first chance I get. So fight hard ladies and enjoy your time as champ. Trust me when I tell you it won’t last long. And when your time does run out, I promise that your last act as World Champion will be to offer your face up as a throne for the new queen. But until then, you can breathe easy…”

The Latina Supreme tossed the microphone down and exited the ring. Rewarding her fans with a final swivel of her hips, the number one contender strutted her way up the ramp and disappeared through the curtain. No matter how lightly she spoke of the four women in the title match, it was apparent that J-Lo was going to be watching tonight’s Main Event very closely


When the buzz following Lopez’s post-match promise had died down, the Announcer climbed back into the ring and began, “Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for our Main Event! The following contest is a Fatal Four Way match to fill the vacant World Heavyweight Title. It will be fought under elimination rules, meaning the last woman to not be pinned or forced to submit will be the new Champion. Introducing first, stands 5’3”; she is the mistress of the Heartbreaker and the Love Clutch; I give you Jennifer Love Hewitt!” This Love comes through the speakers and the brunette presents herself to the fans in the Torchwood Tavern. For her match this evening, the curvy brunette was clad in a two-piece coffee colored bikini. Her pads and ring boots were of the same color, and the deep brown contrasted beautifully with her pale complexion and long dark hair. Moving quickly down the aisle, Jen flashed a brilliant smile before hopping up onto the apron and into the ring. Heading to her corner, she made a few circuits of the ring and then settled down in her corner.

As Love settled into place, the Announcer continued, “And her opponent who also stands 5’3”…she is Selma Blair!” ‘Stricken’ rolled through the speakers and the fans went nuts, either cheering wildly or booing vehemently depending on their feelings for the brunette. The song crunched along for about twenty seconds and then Selma was there on stage, standing silhouetted in the entryway and watching everything with a calculated stare. Looking out at the audience, the slender brunette’s lips curved up in the tiniest of smiles and then she was moving down the ramp toward the ring. For her battle with the other three challengers, Selma was clad in a simple black two-piece bikini with blue accents that looked almost like gas lamps viewed through a heavy fog. Her shoulder length black hair fell loose on her shoulders and her boots and pads were a simple dark blue. Approaching the ring apron, Selma hopped up onto the ring in one feline motion and in the next instant she had vaulted over the top rope and landed in the center of the ring. Staring at the crowd with stoic detachment, Selma ignored Love, went to her corner and turned towards the entryway, silently awaiting the arrival of the last two competitors.

More than halfway home, the Announcer said, “And the next participant; she stands 5’6”; ladies and gentleman I give you…. Erica Durance!” Let Me Out roars to life and the powerful brunette breezes through the curtain. Striding confidently to the ring, Erica is a sight to behold, clad for her battle in a blazing red bikini top and jet-black bottoms encircled by a belt the same color as her top. Her pads and boots are a simple matte black and it provides a striking counterpoint to her lightly bronzed physique and chestnut brown hair. Reaching the edge of the ring, Erica pauses for only a second before leaping onto the apron in one graceful motion. Entering the ring, she gives the roaring fans one more confidant pose before stalking to her corner.

“And finally; another mighty mite at 5’3”; she is ‘The Slayer’…and former World Champion…allow me to introduce… Sarah… Michelle...Gellar!” Sarah pushes her way through the curtain and surveys the redlining fans. As is to be expected, she’s clad in the blood-red leather one-piece outfit with high black boots and fingerless black gloves. Fixing her gaze on the three women already in the ring; Sarah strides down the ramp and easily slides under the bottom rope. Popping to her feet, she favors them all with a stony glance before turning to her corner and saluting the fans one more time. When the music faded, the Slayer hopped down from the buckles and waited out the last few seconds before the fighting started.

The bell sounded three times and the first Championship Match of 2007 was underway. Eyeing the three other participants with a feigned air of disinterest, Selma pushed away from her corner and strode to the middle of the ring. Turning her head from side to side, the agile brunette’s face broke into a wide, condescending smirk. Letting her gaze stop on Jennifer she said loudly, “All right, we’ve got the Wonder Bra…” she turned towards Erica, “… the Cave-beast…” she finished with Sarah; “…and of course, the Paper Tiger. Which one of you idiots wants to go first?”

From somewhere on her right, Love snarled, “Apparently you do!”

Whirling towards Jen’s voice, Blair slipped into an expectant crouch and darted forward just as the other brunette was closing in. Snaking her left arm under Jen’s right shoulder, Selma hopped up and tossed Jen over her hip, sending the curvy grappler tumbling across the canvas with a beautiful Arm Drag.

Popping back to her feet, Selma spun towards Erica and demanded, “Come and get it Lady Slopenbrow.”

Acquiescing to her rival Erica exploded forward with claws extended, only to be met with the same treatment. Catching the taller girl under the left arm, Selma popped her hips and sent Erica to the mat with a brisk little THWAP. Shifting her thoughts to Sarah even before she finished tossing Erica, Selma swung around in the direction of the former champion and brought her hands up just in time to intercept the kick that Sarah had launched at the pit of her stomach.

Forcing the Slayer to hop on one foot, Selma pulled one hand away from Sarah’s ankle and very slowly, very deliberately flipped the blonde off. Swatting her hands at the offending fist, Sarah growled, “Screw you Selma!”

Selma just shook her head ‘no.’ “You’re the one that’s fucked Slayer…you just don’t know it yet!”

Resuming her two-handed grip on her foe’s ankle, Selma dipped her knees and suddenly shoved upward with all her strength, forcing the Slayer off her feet and into an elegant one-legged back-flip. Keeping an ear open for the other two yutzes, Selma waited until Sarah was about to land, then she leapt into the air, brought both knees up to her chin and then slammed them forward, catching the Slayer full-force in the chest with a Dropkick. Feeling, rather than seeing the move connect, Selma’s thoughts stayed with Sarah only long enough to confirm that the blonde had gone tumbling over the ropes at her back.

Quite pleased with the way things were going thus far, Selma got her feet under her and found Love circling warily. Guessing that Erica was closing in behind her, Selma wiggled her fingers in Love’s direction and taunted, “C’mon Thunder Juggs, I thought you wanted to be a champion?”

Sick and tired of the lissome brunette’s arrogance, Love hissed, “I DO want to be a champion Selma. But I want to hurt you more.” Through talking, Jen charged forward and extended her right arm, meaning to decapitate Selma with a Clothesline. But the damnably smug brunette had anticipated the attack and at the last possible second, she spun aside, leaving Jen to crash into empty space. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. Because Selma had been right; Erica was creeping up on her six, and when Selma slipped away, Jen and Erica were put on a collision course. Choking back the surprise she felt as Love bore down on her, Erica ducked down and lunged forward, wrapping both arms around Love’s hips in a loose Bear Hug. In the same motion, the powerhouse brunette lifted straight up, spun around 180-degrees and dropped all her weight onto the mat, nearly driving the buxom brunette through the canvas with a Spinebuster from left field.

Snarling down into Jen’s shocked, gaping face, Erica spat, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you Jen. Your ass is mine tonight.” Shoving Jen away from her, Erica got to her feet and found Selma watching her from a safe distance.

Suppressing a chuckle, Selma asked, “See how good you can be if you’d just learn to walk upright all the time?” Hands clenched into white-knuckled fists, Erica stalked over to Selma and got right in the shorter girl’s face. Looking down her nose into Selma’s hazel eyes, Erica hissed, “Talk while you can Selma. Tonight’s the night I rip out your fucking tongue.”

Selma started to reply but got cut off from a voice to their right. “Not if I do it first Erica!” Turning their heads to the source of the intrusion, both Selma and Erica witnessed Sarah Michelle spring off the apron and onto the top rope in one fluid, cat-like motion. Before the audience could even start to take pictures, the Slayer leapt off her perch and flew towards her rivals. Turning in midair so she was parallel to the mat, Sarah slammed into both girls, knocking them off their feet with a Springboard Crossbody.

Smiling happily as the dark-haired pair wriggled beneath her, Sarah rolled away and popped to her feet. Saluting the crowd, Sarah roared, “THAT TITLE IS GOING BACK WHERE IT BELONGS!” The fans cheered back and why not? At the moment, the Slayer was on top of the world, but before this match was over, she and everyone else in the ring was going to learn that everything can change in a…


Still fighting off the ringing in her ears, Love was in firm enough control of her faculties to know she was in trouble. Being scooped up onto Erica’s shoulder was never a picnic under the most pleasant of circumstances and when the powerful brunette was charging towards the nearest corner, it was bound to get downright ugly. Refusing to let Erica scramble her brains against the top turnbuckle, Love pulled back with all her might and slithered free, landing in a rough crouch just behind the startled Amazon. Thinking fast, Jen jabbed out both hands and SHOVED her foe, sending the taller grappler into a drunken stumble that carried her the rest of the way into the corner.

Scrambling to her feet, Love ran up behind the bigger girl and trapped her in a tight Full Nelson, standing slightly to Erica’s left, Jen slipped her right leg in front of Erica’s left leg and planted it against the mat. Rearing back, Jen forced Erica’s chin into the top of her cleavage and purred, “I haven’t forgotten you either loser.” The words were still coming out of her mouth when she pushed forward, sweeping Erica off her feet and smashing her face and chest-first into the mat with a Full Nelson Facebuster. Ignoring the boneless way Erica shuddered in her grasp; Love released the Nelson only to grab a double handful of Erica’s damp locks.

Hauling the woozy girl to her feet, she backed Erica into the ropes and whispered, “Time for YOU to get out of MY ring. I think you’re more comfortable on the floor anyway.”

Taking two steps back, Love hurtled forward and caught Erica flush across the chest with a Clothesline that sent her tumbling over the top rope to the floor below. Love had just raised her hands to salute the crowd when she heard a low grunt and the sound of approaching foot steps behind her. Whirling around, she was horrified at the lack of distance between her and a charging Selma who wasn’t actually charging Love intentionally; she’d been grappling with Sarah and the Slayer had reversed her Whip...not that Jen knew or even cared!

Acting on pure instinct, the buxom grappler lowered her shoulder and buried it in Selma’s belly. As she felt the air begin to rush out of the other brunette’s lungs, Jen straightened up fast and tossed Selma into the air, sending her soaring up and over the top rope. Keeping her wits about her even after such an ignominious exit from the ring, Selma adjusted her fall in midair and turned her potentially devastating tumble into a jury-rigged Plancha that brought her crashing down on a slowly recovering Erica.

Laughing out loud as two of her greatest rivals lay moaning at her feet; Love spun around and shouted, “YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE NEXT WORLD CHA-UNNHHH!”

Sarah’s boot slammed into her belly, cutting her off. Lining up her shot carefully, the Slayer took her place on Jen’s right and muttered, “No Jen, YOU’RE looking at the next world champ!”

Leaving Jen doubled over and cradling her gut, Sarah sprinted into the ropes and charged back at her friend and rival. When the time was right, she sprang into the air and extended her right leg out as far as it would go. When gravity started to bring her down, Sarah drove her outstretched leg down hard, slamming her heel across the base of Jennifer’s neck and shoulders in a wicked Axe Kick. Jen wasn’t so much knocked off her feet as she was torn off them, straight down into the mat no less. She hit with a ring-shaking ‘THUD’ that actually bounced her up onto her hands and knees.

Rolling out of her landing, Sarah rolled onto one knee and spun to her feet in a move that had more in common with Break Dancing than it did professional wrestling. Surveying the situation, the Slayer saw that Love had been hobbled only a few feet away from where Selma and Erica were starting to get to their feet. Unable to hold back a grin, Sarah said, “This is just TOO perfect.” Keeping Jen in her sights, the Slayer bounced off the ropes and charged straight towards the kneeling brunette. When there were only a few feet between her and her target, Sarah left the mat and landed with both feet on Jennifer’s back. She occupied this position for less than a second before Springboarding off Jen’s back into a delirious, swirling, spiral that took her over the top rope and dropped her on the chagrined heads of Erica and Selma!

The Slayer’s Corkscrew Plancha drew a tremendous HOLY SHIT! chant from the crowd, unfortunately, neither she, Selma or Erica was cogent enough to hear it. Though the move had connected beautifully, the landing had taken a lot of all three ladies, as evidenced by the way they were sprawled on top of one another only inches from the steel guardrail that separated them from the redlining mob. Back in the ring, Jennifer heard the chants and though she didn’t know what they were about, she was willing to bet they had something to do with Sarah landing on her a few moments back. Pushing to her feet, the pale brunette shoved aside her aches and pains and wandered over to the ropes. Down below, Sarah, Selma and Erica were just starting to get to their feet (and throw a few sloppy Haymakers at one another, can’t leave out that little detail!)

Looking from her foes to the audience, Jen smiled and mouthed, “SHOULD I?”

Apparently the audience had a disproportionate amount of lip-readers in attendance because a whole slew of people yelled “HELL YEAH!”

Nodding once, Love strode over to the nearest corner and climbed onto the top turnbuckle. Taking a moment to catch her balance, Jen waited until the other three combatants were occupied with one another before straightening up and leaping out into the void. If it wasn’t for the audience going nuts, the girls on the floor would have never even looked up. As it was, they managed to get a great view of Love blocking out the arena lights as she crashed down on her rivals, bowling them over like three particularly stubborn bowling pins. Resting almost comfortably on the top of a pile of moanin’ girl flesh, Jen allowed herself the luxury of pressing her rack down on Selma’s protesting face for several seconds.

When Selma started to wriggle, Jen got to her feet and primly adjusted the edges of her dark brown top. Grinning out into the raucous mob, Love offered them a double bicep pose and exclaimed, “Who knew? Apparently Love really does have wings!”

The crowd ate up her little bon mot and when one exceptionally vocal fan called out, ‘YOU RULE LOVE!’ Jen turned her head and smiled brightly as the cameras in the Torchwood Tavern continued to…


Still breathing hard from her time in Jen’s Reverse Sleeper/Standing Breast Smother, Sarah took hold of the voluptuous brunette’s wrist and whipped her into the corner with a little more vice and venom than she normally would. Taking just enough time to confirm the Jen’s landing and the positions of Selma and Erica (they were behind and to her left, she thought Erica had just leveled Selma with a Samoan Drop) the Slayer exploded forward, eating up the distance between her and the corner with alarming speed.

When there was still about four feet between her and Love, the blonde left her feet and floated in the rest of the way, landing hard on the brunette’s upper thighs. Before gravity or Jen could dislodge her, Sarah laced both hands behind Jen’s neck and leaned back hard. The second she hit the canvas, Sarah extended her legs and thrust up, taking Love out of the corner and nearly half-way across the ring with a Monkey Flip. Or at least, that was what SHOULD have happened. Instead, an airborne Jennifer soared into a space just recently taken over by Erica (Sarah had been right, Erica had laid out Selma) and the statuesque beauty was more than happy to pluck the smaller brunette from the air and into a position that might as well have been the stall for a Powerbomb.

Wrapping her arms around Jennifer’s thighs, Erica whispered, “Your landing just went from bad to worse baby.”

Rising up on her toes, Erica lifted Jen up as far as she could before SLAMMING her down, damn near folding Love in half with a Powerbomb that shook the rafters. Savoring the reverberations of Jen’s body against the mat, Erica shifted her gaze to Sarah and raised her right arm. Beckoning the Slayer in, Erica purred, “You want some too Tiny?” Flipping hair out of her face, Sarah fired back, “I want a hell of a lot more than just some.” The blonde’s statement was still hanging in the air when she lunged forward, meaning to engage Erica in a simple Collar and Elbow Tie-Up. But Erica wasn’t going to be taken in that easily. As the Slayer closed in, the tall brunette stepped back and fired her left boot up, catching the blonde in the pit of her stomach.

Chuckling quietly, Erica stepped forward and grabbed Selma’s throat with one hand. Her grip the only thing keeping Sarah vertical, Erica held her tightly and pulled her in close. Using her free hand, Erica planted it in the fork of the Slayer’s crotch and then lifted her high overhead, holding the smaller woman aloft in a stunning Military Press.

Knowing it would be foolish to put Sarah on display with Selma unaccounted for, Erica forwent her typical circuit around the ring and focused her attention on the still-recovering Jen. Still chuckling, Erica murmured, “Today’s simple math lesson: One loser on the ground plus one loser in the air equals two losers mewling at my feet.”

With a little grunt of exertion, Erica shoved Sarah off her shoulders, sending the blonde dropping down onto Jen’s undefended chest in a makeshift Splash. Wiping her hands on the back of her trunks, Erica said, “Alright Selma, where the hell are you-ERRRGHH!”

A sudden sharp pain against the back of her right knee cut off the rest of the brunette’s query. Wrapping both hands around Erica’s ponytail, Selma pulled the bigger girl to her feet and answered, “I’m right here, kicking your ass just like normal.” Whirling the hobbled beauty around to face her, Selma doubled Erica over with a Knee Lift and trapped her in a temple-grinding Front Facelock. Angling her path away from Sarah and Jen the brunette sprinted towards the closest corner, dragging Erica along for the ride. Just as Selma left her feet to begin the final stage of her Tornado DDT, Erica shot her hands up and placed them firmly against Selma’s belly. Belting out a roar, Erica shoved as hard as she could; Selma’s tenuous grip on the other brunette’s skull was broken and the agile grappler went soaring through the air and landed with an echoing THUD!

Breathing hard, Erica dropped into a rough Three Point Stance and aimed her right shoulder in Selma’s direction. When the diminutive brunette got to her feet a few seconds later, Erica sprinted forward and left her feet, sending every ounce of her five foot eight inch frame at Selma’s midsection. Erica’s aim was true and her Spear caught Selma directly across the navel, almost cutting the smaller girl in half with the simple maneuver. Pushing to her knees, Erica leaned down and panted into Selma’s gasping features. “You interfered in the most important match of my career AND cost me a shot at the World Title. No matter what else happens tonight, you can rest assured that I am going to MAKE YOU SUFFER.”

Getting nothing coherent in response, Erica peeled the slender girl off the canvas and slipped around behind her. Helping herself to a handful of hair, Erica bent Selma back and trapped her foe’s chin in the crook of her left armpit. Using her free hand, the vengeful brunette reached down and grabbed a handful of Selma’s waistband. She held this position just long enough to catch her breath and then she pulled the tiny brunette up and off her feet, holding Selma extended and aloft directly over her head. After a heartbeat or two, gravity took over and Erica fell back, completing the Inverted Vertical Suplex. Selma was driven into the mat, her brutalized chest and midsection absorbing the majority of the impact. Feeling more than a little pleased with her domineering performance over the last several minutes, Erica treated Selma’s gulping paunch to a few condescending pats, then got to her feet Regarding the audience with a bright, confident smile, she asked, “WON’T IT BE GREAT TO HAVE A FULL SIZED WORLD CHAMPION AGAIN?”

The audience agreed that it would, and Erica was about to thank them for the endorsement when she noticed a blur of movement near the edge of her field of vision.

Cursing her lapse of focus, the brunette whirled to meet the incoming threat only to be greeted by the sight of Sarah Michelle Sarah’s calf blasting towards her face. Erica tried to get her hands up but Sarah’s Kick hit a second too soon and if that wasn’t bad enough, just as the brunette was starting to fall back, both knees were sliced out from under her compliments of Love’s Leg Sweep. The lethal tandem maneuver spun Erica around about 270-degrees, leaving the shell-shocked brunette sprawled on her face in a moaning heap. Rolling to their knees, Jennifer and Sarah regarded one another warily as they resumed their vertical bases.

Knowing full well that they were both after the same thing; Sarah adjusted the edges of her one-piece and said, “Nice timing.”

Nodding once, Love replied, “You too.” Settling into a grappler’s crouch, Jen moved to her left and asked, “Ready?”

The Slayer returned the brunette’s nod. “Bring in on Love.”

The long time friends lunged forward and locked up, their partnership forgotten in a…


Working diligently to fight off the stupor that was threatening to envelop her, Sarah bounced off the ropes and headed back towards her tormentors. Hating the fact the Selma and Erica had been quite successful in their double-teaming over the last several minutes, the Slayer’s despair turned to hope as she saw the pair of brunette’s double over in anticipation of their next move. Holding back the urge to laugh out loud, Sarah continued her shambling approach, hoping the charade was enough to fool the pair. When her abdomen came into contact with Selma and Erica’s shoulders, the impromptu pair straightened up fast, attempting to toss Sarah up and into the lights with a Double Back Body Drop.

Unfortunately for them, the Slayer had enough presence of mind to lash out with both arms, trapping her attackers in a pair of rough Front Facelocks. So when she should have gone hurtling into the void, Sarah clamped down tight and leaned back with all her weight. Selma and Erica were torn from their moorings and driven skull-first into the mat with a pair of DDT’s delivered from several feet higher than is normally recommended. The force of their landing sent both brunettes into lopsided somersaults that left them sitting on their butts, almost side by side.

Happy to be back on her feet again, the blonde rolled her shoulders and tapped her temple with one finger. Smiling to the crowd, Sarah told the audience, “Even on their best day, these two dopes couldn’t equal HALF a Slayer.” Catching her breath Sarah turned to make sure Love wasn’t sneaking up on her (no worries there, Jen was still trying to untangle herself from the Tree of Woe) the Slayer strode around so that she was standing in front of the seated duo. Slipping into a tight Martial Arts stance, Sarah asked, “You know those silver balls that bored executives have on their desks? This is my version.”

Falling silent, Sarah took a single deep breath and then lashed out with her right leg, catching Selma across the temple with a Buzzsaw kick that sent Selma’s head crashing against Erica’s with a dull THUMP! Not even close to done yet, Sarah reset her footing and whipped out her other foot, giving Erica a taste of her boot-leather this time. Ready for the coup de grace, Sarah chided, “And now, two for the price of one!” Leaving her feet in a short hop, the Slayer jabbed both feet forward and caught Erica and Selma in the forehead with a Low Dropkick.

With Selma and Erica laid low, Sarah decided it was time to put the finishing touches on one of them, she just needed a minute to make her choice. Hoping a trip to the ropes would clear her head, the Slayer whirled around on her heel and headed for the cables… and directly into the arms of the waiting Jennifer Love Hewitt!

Unable to put the brakes on in time, Sarah could only brace for impact when Love reached around the blonde’s torso and locked her hands. In the same breath, Jen lifted hauled the Slayer off her feet and spun her around, but before the brunette could drop to her knee and snap Sarah in half, the former champ tugged free of her captor’s clutches and landed on her feet. Relishing the look of startled surprise on Jennifer’s face, Sarah surged forward and planted her knee in the brunette’s belly. With Jen still gulping for air, Sarah had no problem adding to Love’s misery with a trio of heartless forearm shots to the back of the brunette’s neck. Making sure Jennifer didn’t lose her balance, Sarah held Jen in place and then slapped on a wince-inducing Front Facelock. Bearing down hard as Jen tried to twist free; Sarah tightened her grip even more and then rose up on her toes before falling backwards with all the force she could muster.

The buxom wrestler was yanked violently off her feet and the top of her skull was spiked brutally into the mat, the violence of the Slayer’s Snap DDT actually leaving her in a visually impressive headstand for a second before she slumped bonelessly to the canvas. Lying motionless on the mat, Sarah took a deep breath, rolled back onto her shoulders and then nipped up in one beautifully smooth motion. Casting her eyes in the direction of the other brunettes, Sarah was quite pleased to see that Selma and Erica were just now beginning to recover. Wiping hair out of her eyes, the Slayer charged forward and left her feet once again, this time to come crashing down back-first across Selma and Erica’s penitent frames.

Pushing up off the groaning vixens, Sarah stood tall, cutting quite an impressive picture as she literally trod her enemies beneath her feet. Raising both hands high over her head, the Sarah looked out at the cheering mob with wide intense eyes. Drawing a deep breath into her lungs, the Slayer roared, “YOU SEE THIS? YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS WHY I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LOST THE TITLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

The Slayer went back to work. If she had her way, that big gold belt would be back around her waist, quick as a…FLASH!

Still smarting from the blonde’s precision foot-based assault, Erica took great pleasure in locking her arms around the Slayer’s waist and pulled her in close. Grinning wickedly into Sarah’s face, Erica whispered, “Let’s see how well ya fly now you little toy ditz.”

Saving her energy, Erica bent her knees and exploded up and back, tossing Sarah up and across the ring with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. The Slayer hit the canvas with a bone-jarring SPLAT but still managed to roll her way to the edge of the ring, taking temporary sanctuary in the ropes. Having disposed of one annoyance for the time-being, Erica snapped her bottoms into place across her hips and slowly got back to her feet.

Turning her head to the other side of the ring; Erica’s eyes narrowed to furious slits as she watched Selma and Jennifer hammering away at one another. Licking her teeth in an unconscious gesture of anticipation, Erica settled into a predatory crouch and whispered, “I’m gonna rip both of you interfering sluts in HALF!” Attempting to do just that, Erica loped across the squared circle, putting herself on a collision course with the battling gamines.

On the other side of the ring, Love was about to paste Selma across the cheek when she heard approaching footsteps. Taking her eyes off Selma for a split second, Jen saw Erica and gasped, “OH SHIT!”

Following Love’s gaze, Selma’s eyes went wide, but the crafty brunette kept her wits about her. Speaking at Love, rather than to her, she hissed, “Drop Toe-Hold. NOW!” Ignoring the fact she was taking orders from Blair, Hewitt did as she was told and dropped low. Moving with a synchronicity born of spontaneity, the slender brunettes scissored their legs between Erica’s ankles and swept her legs out from under her. Erica let out a started squawk and went tumbling forward, face-first into the second turnbuckle.

Immediately turning her attention back to Love, Selma said tensely, “Hey Love, if you want this imbecile gone in the next ten seconds, I’d suggest hitting her with that Inverted Lungblower of yours. And make sure to hold her in place once it connects. I’ll do the rest.”

Jen frowned and answered, “I don’t take orders from you Selma.”

Selma rolled her eyes. “Then pretend it’s a request.”

Jen was about to tell Selma to go to hell, but the other brunette just backed away and to make things more complicated, Erica pushed up off her knees and staggered out of the corner. Setting her sites on the injured Amazon, Love threatened, “I swear to God, Selma, if this is a trap I will KILL you first chance I get.” Stepping into Erica’s path, Jen reached out and reeled the taller girl in by the straps of her top. Forcing herself to settle down and trust Selma (even if it was for only a few seconds) Jen reached forward and cupped both hands behind Erica’s neck, pulling her in close so that she couldn‘t wriggle away or collapse to her knees. Smiling into Erica’s uncomprehending face, Jennifer whispered, “Remember Erica, Love hurts…”

Then she bent her knees and left her feet in a short hop. As she reached the zenith of her momentum, Jen brought both knees up and planted them against Erica’s chest. In the next instant, gravity brought Love down to the canvas where she landed on her back and Erica landed rack first across her rival’s knees. Erica’s breasts were nearly smashed flat against her torso as she once again experienced the breath-stealing, sternum-smashing fury of the move Jen called ‘The Power of Love.’ From several feet away, Selma watched the action unfold as she sung to herself, ‘Don’t need money, don’t take fame, don’t need no credit card to ride this train…’ she trailed off as Jen connected with the Inverted Lungblower and commanded, “KEEP HER IN PLACE DAMMIT, HEWITT!”

Putting her trust in Love the same way Jen was doing with her, Selma sprinted forward, loping behind the pair of brunettes on her way to the ropes. When she was within reach of the cables, Selma left her feet and soared through the air only to land on the top rope. Knowing her aim was true, Selma stayed on the rope just long enough to bend her knees in a deep crouch and push off into a high, floaty Backflip that brought her hurtling down on Erica’s prone back.

Erica let out a choked, gurgling groan as she was compressed by Selma’s Springboard Moonsault from one side and Love’s jutting knees from the other. The second Selma slid off Erica’s back; Jen released her grip on the semi-coherent girl’s neck and shoved her away, leaving Erica to stumble away with all the grace of a drunk wandering into traffic. Sadly, this comparison proved remarkably apt because Erica made it no more than five steps before she was met head-on by the unstoppable eighteen-wheeler that was Sarah’s right foot. There was a loud, somewhat meaty THWAP as the Slayer’s Super Kick connected with Erica’s chin and sent her sprawling onto her back in a glassy-eyed heap.

Losing her balance after the strike landed, Sarah quickly regained her footing, threw herself on top of the larger girl and hooked the far leg. Bearing down on the cover, Sarah closed her eyes and put all her strength into keeping Erica prostrate as the ref swooped in and counted off “ONE… TWO… THREE!”

There was a loud roar from the crowd (not to mention a healthy chorus of boos, mostly from the Erica fans) and then the Ring Announcer stated what everyone else already knew, “Erica Durance has been eliminated!”

Peeling herself off the beaten girl’s sweat-tacky tummy, Sarah got to her feet and glared down into Erica’s face. Treating her adversary to a short, sharp kick in the ribs, the blonde snarled, “Remember this the next time you think about interfering in my match bitch.”
She started to say something else but a voice from behind chided, “Hey no fair, I’M the one who’s supposed to kick em when they’re down.”

Groaning inwardly, Sarah whirled to confront the voice but was instead met with the sight of Selma’s boots flying towards her face. The Slayer had just enough time to mutter, “Shit.” and then her world exploded in another bright…FLASH!

Infinitely aware of the threats at both twelve and six, Selma took a deep breath and pleaded, “Feet don’t fail me now.”

Putting the aforementioned appendages to use, she sank into a crouch and then jumped straight up, spreading her legs in a rough 45-degree arc as she did so. There wasn’t much clearance, but it was just enough for Love to pass under her; making the brunette Sarah’s problem for the next few seconds. Back on terra firma, Jen grumbled as Selma eluded her lunge, but that disappointment vanished as Sarah suddenly popped into view. Smiling wickedly, the curvaceous grappler extended her right arm and DOVE forward, catching Sarah across the chest with a Lariat that almost turned her inside out before hit the mat.

Putting on the brakes, Jennifer stared at Sarah’s splayed form and asked, “What’s wrong Slayer? You forgot how hard I can hit?

Jen didn’t’ get an answer, at least not the one she wanted. Before Sarah could offer up a response, Selma smashed a forearm into the base of her neck. Dark eyes flashing, Selma buried both hands in Jen’s hair and pulled Sarah back to her feet. Spinning the other brunette around to face her, Selma stared into Love’s pained face and hissed, “No more alliances Jugg Head; it’s time for the real wrestlers to get down to business.”

Selma slapped a Half Nelson on Jen’s right arm before using her left hand to capture Love’s right wrist and pull it roughly across her throat, cinching in the Cobra Clutch. Ragdolling Hewitt back and forth with violent twists of her hips, Selma pressed her lips to the brunette’s ear and cooed, “I should take the time to choke you out, but I don’t want to waste the energy.”

The taunt was still coming out of her mouth when Selma rose up on her toes and yanked herself backwards. Both girls hit the canvas hard, but Jen got the worst of it; she landed flat on her back, skull jouncing off the mat a few times thanks to Selma’s amalgamation of Russian Leg Sweep-Cobra Clutch.

Shoving Love away, Selma got to her feet and turned her attention to the Slayer, “All right Sarah, now your ass belongs to ME.”

Getting nothing from either of her opponents, Selma strutted over to the blonde and hauled her to her feet. Taking a two-handed grip on Sarah’s wrist, Selma pointed her rival towards the corner and whipped her into the buckles. Waiting just long enough to confirm Sarah’s collision, Selma charged after the blonde and left her feet once more, this time tucking her knees up across her chest so she could slam shin-first into the former champ’s sternum.

Grinning from ear-to-ear as all the air rushed out of Sarah’s lungs, Selma landed on her feet and peeled the blonde out of the corner. Slipping in behind the Slayer, Selma hopped up onto the top buckle and grabbed Sarah by the hair. Tugging the slender vixen toward her, Selma kept her seat on the buckle as she bent Sarah backwards and looped an arm around her neck to cinch in the Inverted Facelock. Riding out Sarah’s meager escape attempts, Selma teased, “That loud CRUNCHING you’re about to hear is either your neck or all hopes of a second title reign coming to an end. I’ll let you decide!”

Holding the Slayer prone, Selma pushed away from the corner, swung in a wide, looping half circle and then sat-out, drilling the back of Sarah’s skull into the mat with an Inverted Tornado DDT.

Savoring the violent spasm that wracked the Slayer’s frame, Selma pounced on the downed blonde and hooked the far leg. Impressed with the lissome brunette’s ability to divide her attention between both foes, the official dropped down and slapped the mat, ‘ONE… TWO…’Sarah shot her right shoulder off the mat, breaking the count.

Aggravated but not discouraged, Selma pushed to her feet and said, “All right Sarah, keep getting up, I don’t ever get tired of beating you dow-NNNNNGH!”

Selma’s missive turned into a pained howl as Jennifer DRILLED a sadistic left hook into the other brunette’s liver. Licking her lips as Selma sank to her knees, Jen added, “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Flicking her gaze between Sarah and Selma, Love experienced a moment of indecision that faded the second she remembered the feel of having her head drilled into the mat by the brunette’s Blair Raid. Yanking Selma to her feet, Love bent at the waist and looped one hand between her foe’s legs while the other found its way around her Selma’s chin. Huffing with exhaustion, Jennifer hoisted Selma off the mat, draping the petite brunette across her shoulders in the debilitating Torture Rack.

Bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet, Jen listened to her victim moan before parading her around the ring, letting everyone see that Selma was helpless in her grasp. Love was about to strut back to the middle of the ring and an assured elimination when Selma jammed an elbow down into the brunette’s forehead. Her vision suddenly awash with swirling stars, Jen’s grip slackened and Selma slipped free. Fighting through the ache in her back and neck, Selma molded herself to Love’s back and wrapped her up in a tight Sleeper Hold.

Quashing the urge to taunt her opposition, Selma suddenly left her feet and flung them out behind her, becoming almost parallel to the mat for a moment, even though she was suspended a few feet in the air. When gravity reclaimed her, Selma crashed down the mat and took Love along for the ride, smashing the back of Jen’s head and neck against the canvas with a hastily applied but no less effective Sleeper Slam. Taking a few deep breaths, Selma rolled to her feet and muttered, “That’s the last time I underestimate you Love. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you might actually be GOOD at this.”

Done with words for the moment, Selma walked to Jen’s legs and stood between them, facing away from the downed brunette’s head. Bending down, Selma grabbed Jen’s ankles and tucked them under her armpits before standing up. With her arms looped around Love’s legs, Selma called out, “I was going to pause here and make a joke about crabs, but I figured you’ve probably heard all the good ones. I’ll just settle for snapping you in two.” Saving her breath for her next bit of offensive black magic, she slowly pulled Jennifer’s legs up as high as they could go, then turned her adversary onto her stomach and sat down, applying an inverted variant on a classic wrestling standard. Indeed, Selma had Jennifer bent in the terrible C shape that was the hallmark of the original Boston Crab, but Selma was facing towards Jennifer as opposed to away from her.

This peculiar inversion of the hold seemed to have no effect on the pain it could cause as was evidenced by Jennifer’s frantic scratching and clawing of the mat, not to mention the small of her back. Dropping into the deepest crouch she could while still maintaining her balance; Selma poured every ounce of available pressure into the hold and sneered, “Ready to give it up gutter slut?”

Instead of getting an answer from her victim, she heard a quiet pattering coming towards her and looked up. This turned out to be a mixed blessing; she got to see Sarah leave her feet and lash her leg towards Selma’s temple, but she was far too late to do anything about it. A heartbeat later the Slayer’s shin ‘THWAPPED!’ off the side of Selma’s head, thus completing the brutally simple, brutally effective Shining Wizard.

Hopping to her feet the blonde whirled into a fluid Martial Arts Pose and exclaimed, “THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE PEOPLE!”

Basking in the applause, the Slayer straightened up and returned her attention to Selma. If all went according to plan, she’d soon have Selma on her belly and begging for mercy in the Sharpshooter, all her championship ambitions banished in one mind-blowing…FLASH!

THUD! THUD! THUD! The three remaining competitors stood in a loose triangle and slammed callous punches off anything they could hit. Grunting low in the back of her throat after a Haymaker from Selma landed in her gut; Jennifer shrugged off the pain and shot her left hand out. Grabbing a handful of Selma’s dark hair, Love darted out her free hand and helped herself to Sarah’s locks. Not allowing the pair a chance to fight her off, Love brought her hands together, bashing Sarah and Selma’s heads together with a jury rigged Headbutt.

Laughing happily as Sarah and Selma sank to their knees; Jen pulled the woozy brunette to her feet and clamped an iron-grip on Selma’s wrist. Directing her woozy foe towards the far corner; Love purred, “Time to put you on the scrap heap with the other posers Selma.”

Preparing her foe for the pile, Jen sent her victim loping towards the unforgiving steel. Just as Selma slammed home, Love grabbed the reeling Slayer and pointed her in the same direction. Pressing her lips to the former champ’s ear, Love whispered, “Told you I could beat you when it counted Sarah. It won’t be long now.”

When the blonde tried to moan a response, Jen launched her old friend towards the corner and waited to see what would happen. The answer wasn’t long in coming; as Sarah sped towards the battered brunette, Selma pulled up her knees and jammed both feet forward, catching the Slayer in the face with her boots.

Smirking as the blonde groaned and dropped to her knees, Selma chuckled, “Thanks for the gift Lovie; I’ll make sure you get one of your own in the next few minutes!”

Hopping up onto the second turnbuckle, Selma immediately jumped back down, catching the penitent blonde in a loose Standing Headscissors. In the blink of an eye, Selma wrapped her arms around Sarah’s waist, bent her knees and executed a tight Front Flip, spiking the top of Sarah’s head into the canvas with her visually stunning Blair Raid. There was a single dull THUD and Sarah went limp; all the fight taken out of her in the span of less than three seconds. Roaring in triumph, Selma popped to her feet and screamed, “YOU’RE MINE BITCERRGHH!”

The last word came out all wrong thanks to the heartless Toe Kick that a patiently waiting Jennifer Love Hewitt buried in her abdomen. Moving with an urgency she very rarely felt, Love lifted the black clad beauty up on her shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry. Holding Selma prone on her shoulders, Jennifer said, “Stop stealing my lines Selma.” Speaking no more, Love spun around twice and then fell hard to the side, driving Selma’s head and shoulders into the unyielding mat with the Death Valley Driver she called the Heartbreaker. The second the move connected, Love hurled herself across Selma’s chest and wrapped up both legs. Placing all her weight on Selma’s upper body, Jen folded her victim in half and nodded in time as the ref counted off, “ONE… TWO… THREE!”

From his place on the outside, the Announcer exclaimed, “Selma Blair has been eliminated!”

Jennifer tossed Selma’s legs aside and scrambled to her feet. Raising both hands high overhead, the remaining brunette exclaimed, “ONLY ONE MORE!” Catching her breath, Jen turned to face the slowly-recovering Slayer she added, “Get up Sarah. Get up and let me show you why I deserve that belt.”

The words had just left her mouth when Love had a change of heart. It would be better for her championship aspirations if Sarah couldn’t get up. After all, the blonde had just been drilled with the Blair Raid, if she could take advantage of that, this match might be over sooner rather than later. Stalking the ex-champ with hard, pitiless look in her eyes Love hauled The Slayer to her feet and easily secured her foe in a Front Face-Lock. Slinging Sarah’s near arm over her shoulder, Jen used her free hand to snag a generous helping of Sarah’s tights.

Pulling the slick material up in an inadvertent half-wedgie, Jennifer bent her knees and muttered, “Please don’t consider this pouring it on Sarah. I just want this to be over.” Finishing her cryptic statement Jen lifted Sarah off the canvas and held her inverted directly over her head. In most cases, Jennifer would have held this position for several more seconds, but given that she was fighting exhaustion herself and the blonde’s head was already in pretty bad shape, Jennifer only held Sarah aloft for two seconds. Then she sat out and drilled the Slayer’s forehead into the canvas with the aptly named Brainbuster.

Immediately releasing the Front Facelock, Love rolled over onto Sarah’s chest and hooked both legs. Folding Sarah up the same way she’d done to Selma, Jen held on for dear life as the referee counted off ‘ONE… TWO… THRE-NO!’ Somehow, Sarah kicked out at the last possible second, halting the count and Jen’s title reign, at least for a few more seconds.

Rubbing away the tears she felt forming at the corners of her eyes, Jennifer buried her hands in the Slayer’s sweat-soaked locks and helped them both regain verticality. Holding the spaghetti-legged blonde against her in a loose Bearhug, the brunette asked her friend, “Why are you making me do this Sarah? I don’t want to ruin you, just STAY DOWN!”

Hoping her next move would convince Sarah to comply with her request; Love released her hold on Sarah’s waist, dipped her shoulder and scooped the unresisting blonde up onto her shoulders in another Fireman’s Carry. Trudging to the middle of the ring just to make sure there was no way Sarah could use the ropes to escape, Love bent her knees and pushed up hard, looking to use the Heartbreaker to secure another victory and her first World Title reign. But when Sarah should have been crashing into the mat, the Slayer’s amazing agility and ring awareness made their presence felt in a big way. Less than a quarter of the way through the descent, Sarah floated out of Love’s grasp, turning the potentially neck-breaking fall into a beautiful flip that brought her down safely only a few feet away. Moving like lightning, the blonde whirled around and left her feet, flying towards Jen with her right foot aimed directly at the brunette’s face. Eyes wide, Love ducked low and lunged forward, avoiding the Flying Crescent Kick by mere inches.

Cursing under their breath, both grapplers turned for a second pass at the other, but Jen was just a little quicker about it and she cut Sarah off at the knees with a vile boot to the abdomen. Grabbing Sarah by the hair, Jen said, “That was a pretty good trick Sarah, but you keep forgetting that I know all your tricks. Unfortunately, you can’t say the same.”

Jennifer trapped the slender blonde’s head in her armpit while wrapping her arms under Sarah’s arms before locking both of her hands on the small of the Slayer’s back. Before Sarah had a chance to protest Jennifer left her feet and fell toward the canvas, melding Sarah’s unprotected face with the canvas thanks to her patented Double Arm DDT.

Sitting on her butt, Love thought about going for the pin again but decided against it. If Sarah was going to be stubborn about it, she’d just take all the fight out of her the easy way. Standing up, she scrambled over to Sarah’s side and nudged the blonde over onto her straddling the blonde’s back, Jen looked out at the audience and shouted, “GONNA BEND HER NOW!” As the audience egged her on, Jennifer sat down on the small of Sarah’s back and went to work. A small smile on her face, Jen reached forward, gripped Sarah under the armpits and pulled back in a move that yanked her foe’s torso off the mat and allowed Jen to drape the Slayer’s arms over Love’s knees in one often-practiced motion. With the Camel Clutch almost locked in, Jen shifted her grip to Sarah’s chin, threading both hands under her captive’s jaw. Hold now officially locked in, Jen waited just long enough to promise, “I won’t draw this out Sarah. As soon as you give up, I’ll let you go.”

She pulled back as far as she could, bending Sarah’s neck to the breaking point. Sarah shrieked in abject agony; she had thought beating Love was going to be the least of her worries coming into this match, but Jen had really upped her game and the brunette seemed dead-set on proving herself capable of beating the Slayer for that big gold belt she wanted so badly. Loathing the feel of the tears streaming down her face, Sarah fought the urge to surrender as hard as she could, driven onward by the fact that truly believed that she was the champion and she wasn’t going to let ANYONE, friend or foe, take that away from her.

Shaking her head ‘no’ to the ref’s inquiry of her submission, Sarah put the pain aside as best she could and enacted her only plan of escape. Moving her arms back a little further, she managed to dig her hands in behind Love’s knees and clamp down. Preparing for the burst of agony she knew was coming, Sarah leaned back even further, screaming in both anguish and triumph as she succeeded in getting to one knee. After that, it was surprisingly easy to get back to her feet, even with a startled Love still latched onto her like the world’s most gorgeous remora. Hoping against hope that she was headed in the right direction, Sarah maintained her death-grip on Jen’s thighs and stumbled backwards fast. After a few seconds of blind stumbling, she rammed them both into a corner, squashing Jennifer between her body and the turnbuckles.

When the hateful grip around her chin finally slackened, the Slayer tore free from her captor and turned to face her old sparring partner. Fire blazing in her eyes, Sarah chested into her stunned rival and hissed, “You may know all my tricks Love, but that doesn’t mean you know how to defend against them.”

Intent on proving her point, the blonde stepped back a few paces and grabbed the top rope to Hewitt’s right. Planting her left foot on the mat, Sarah took a second to catch her breath and then started firing murderously stiff kicks into any and every part of Love that she could reach.

THUP, THUP THUP! A trio of shots tenderize brunette belly.

THUP, THUP, THUP! Love’s vaunted rack gets the same hard-hearted treatment.

THUP, THUP, THUP! Ever higher, the Slayer tagging Jen, this time across the cheek.

If they hadn’t known already, no one in the audience could have believed these girls were longtime friends and not hated rivals. After her last kick off Jen’s jaw connected, the ref finally got persistent and began his count. Not willing to let Love out of the buckles just yet, Sarah ceased hacking away at her foe, only to step in close and wrap both arms around the brunette’s waist. Groaning with the effort, Sarah hoisted Jennifer up onto the top turnbuckle, and then climbed up with her. With her feet balanced on the second rope, Sarah held Love’s head in both hands, keeping the brunette in place for her next move.

Breathing hard, Sarah looked down into Jen’s pain-addled face and panted, “You put up a great fight Love, but like I told you at the Christmas Party, you cannot beat me when it really counts.”

As Jen started to reply, Sarah leapt up from her perch on the middle rope and wrapped both strong legs around Jen’s neck. As soon as she locked her ankles, the Slayer fell back, using gravity and her own momentum to hurl Love more than halfway across the ring with a Hurricanrana from the top rope. Energized by the sound of Jen’s body crashing to the mat and the roar of the mob chanting ‘SLAYER, SLAYER!’

Sarah nipped up and drew her thumb across her throat in a savage, unmistakable gesture. Staring out into the sea of faces, Sarah screamed, “TIME TO TAKE BACK WHAT’S MINE!”

Milking this latest burst of adrenaline for all it was worth, Sarah stalked over to Jennifer’s feet and grabbed one ankle in each hand. Pulling Love’s legs up into the V shape that was the first step of the Sharpshooter; Sarah stepped through with her left leg, planting her foot next to Jen’s right hip. Crossing the unresisting limbs over her intruding leg, Sarah bent her knees to begin the final turn and that’s when Love reared up off the mat and grabbed her by the hair. Faster than the audience could react, Jen tugged the blonde forward, upsetting her balance to roll her up into something that wasn’t exactly a cradle, but it was close enough. Whatever you wanted to call it, the Slayer’s shoulders were down and Jen was on top of her, so the zebra had a job to do. Dropping to his knees, the ref slapped the mat, ‘ONE… TWO… THR-NO!’ Sarah’s frantic wriggling paid off at the last second and she was able to break free of the impromptu pin.

Scrambling to get her feet under her, the irate blonde went right back to Jen’s legs and hooked them in the V position again. After she crossed Love’s legs a second time, Sarah knelt and started to turn only to have Jen grab her by the hair and SMASH several desperate Punches off the Slayer’s cheek.

Letting out a disappointed groan, Sarah broke off from the Sharpshooter and staggered back, but when her head cleared a few seconds later, she immediately came forward again. Settling on a new course of action, the enraged blonde pulled Love to her feet, booted her in the gut and then trapped her in a Standing Headscissors. Beside herself with anger and frustration, Sarah snarled, “One way or the other Love, you’re kissing canvas tonighUNNNGHH!

In an interesting twist of fate, Sarah ended up on her back when Jen wrapped her arms around the Slayer’s knees and swept them out from her with a simple Double Leg Takedown. Believing that this was her last chance to defeat the blonde, Jen glared down into her foe’s face and said two words, not without a trace of sympathy. “Sorry Slayer.” Then she brought her right foot up and crashing down between Sarah’s thighs. Sarah howled in agony and flopped over onto her belly which proved to be exactly the wrong thing to do. Standing over the blonde’s back, Jen bent down and grabbed both of Sarah’s ankles, pulling her legs up and then tucking them into her armpits.

Working as fast as she could, Love bent down a bit farther and grabbed her opponent’s wrists, one in each hand. Jen took a deep breath and then pulled up, lifting Sarah off the canvas by her feet and hands, bending the trapped blonde in an insidious U shape. The Love Clutch had just been cinched on and Jennifer added the final touches by beginning to swing Sarah gently back and forth, putting even more intense pressure on her captive’s extended limbs and bent back. The excruciating pain of this hold brought Sarah around like a whiff of smelling salts, but it was something she didn’t relish as she immediately began screaming in anguish. Keeping up the subtle rocking motion, Jennifer looked down at her opponent and demanded, “GIVE UP.”

Tears flowing freely now, Sarah shook her head ‘no’ and screamed, “NEVER!”

Gritting her teeth, Love increased the force of the swinging and repeated, “GIVE IT UP SARAH!”

Still shaking her head in an emphatic but helpless denial, the Slayer roared, “YOU CAN’T MAKE ME QUIT!”

Her voice barely a whisper, Jen countered, “Oh yes I can.” and ratcheted up the power behind the Love Clutch even more. With Sarah swinging like a tortured pendulum in her grasp, Love gave her command one more time. “SUBMIT BEFORE I SNAP YOU IN TWO!”

“FUCK YOU!” Sarah shrieked right back. Incensed beyond rational thought, Love suddenly released her grip, letting Sarah drop back to the mat with a sweaty THUD! Running her hands through her hair, Love stalked around to Sarah’s head and scraped the blonde off the canvas. Convinced that there was no possible way for the Slayer to resist the Heartbreaker now, Jen muscled the semi-coherent girl up onto her shoulders into one last Fireman’s Carry. Already hearing the announcer calling her name after the bell, Love muttered, “You lose Sarah. When it really matters, you couldn’t beat meUNNNGHH!

Sarah’s left hand reached up and raked the brunette across the face, blinding her. As she fought to clear her vision, Jen felt Sarah wriggle off her shoulders and blinded or not, she wasn’t going to let the blonde get away. Spinning around, she lashed out with a wild backhand only to feel Sarah grab her around the knees and pull as hard as she could. There was a nauseating second of weightless and then the back of her head hit the mat. Her vision nothing more than swirls and mad tilts of color, the brunette was still cogent enough to hear Sarah’s voice hiss, “No Love, I didn’t lose. That’s what makes me a champion.” The brunette opened her mouth to respond but before she could, the Slayer stomped down on her crotch and the only sound she could manage was a tortured scream.

Deciding to put her faith in the old adage ‘The third time’s the charm’ Sarah split Love’s legs in a V and instantly stepped through with her right leg, planting it on the mat next to Jennifer’s left hip. Moving fast, she crossed the trapped gams over her right leg and locked them in place. Almost done now, she turned Jen over onto her stomach and sat down, finally able to introduce Love to the miseries of the Sharpshooter. Jennifer flailed wildly as the vicious hold destroyed her legs and back, but the buxom brunette wouldn’t give in just yet. Getting her hands under her, she clawed desperately towards the ropes and was within inches of reaching them when Sarah rose up and marched her back towards the center of the ring. Settling back down onto Love’s stretched out back, Sarah pulled back as far as she could go, nearly bending her victim in half. Flipping hair from her eyes, the Slayer drove her butt down into the small of Jen’s back one more time and screamed, “QUIT! QUIT GOD DAMN YOU!”

With her back being shredded and her face grinding against the mat, Jennifer choked back a sob and made one final attempt to reach the ropes. Still several feet away from sanctuary, she let her hand hang in the air for nearly ten seconds before she started brought it down and tapped the mat three times to signal her surrender.

In perfect position to see the brunette’s concession, the referee called for the bell and the Announcer followed it up by proclaiming, “Jennifer Love Hewitt has been eliminated! The winner and NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IS SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR!”

The crowd was on its feet and cheering wildly as Sarah released her grip on Jen’s legs, but as the victorious Slayer got to her feet, the speakers fired up and what came out was not Man in the Box, but ‘Step Up’ heralding the arrival of the new number one contender, the Latina Supreme, Jennifer Lopez!

Not able to fully process what was going on just yet, Sarah accepted the belt and turned her head towards the entryway, her exhausted face a perfect portrait of ‘What the hell….’ incredulity. A few seconds later, her question was answered as Lopez sauntered through the curtains and paused at the top of the ramp. Still clad in her ring gear, the undefeated diva waited just long enough to lock eyes with Sarah before strutting down the ramp.

Approaching the ring, she bypassed he flashier entrance and simply rolled under the bottom rope. Getting to her feet, J-Lo motioned for a mic and simply waited, regarding Sarah with a smug smile while the official did her bidding. When she was properly wired for sound, Jennifer flashed the Slayer a disingenuous smile and began, “Earlier tonight I reminded all these people that I was the number one contender for the World title AND I promised to remind the winner of the Fatal Four Way of that very same fact before the night was over. And seeing as how I always keep my promises, here I am.”

The bronzed vixen trailed off for a moment as she closed the distance between her and the new champ.

Insolently tapping a finger against the title, J-Lo looked Sarah straight in the eye and continued, “You need to remember that I have a GUARANTEED title shot, that I can use wherever and whenever I want. I actually thought about cashing it in right now, but decided that it would be more fun to destroy you when you weren’t running on empty. Enjoy that belt while you can Sarah. Because I’ll take it from you whenever I want.”

Through of listening to this arrogant bitch’s taunts, Sarah snatched the mic from Lopez’s hand and fired back, “It doesn’t matter when you take your shot Jenny, I’ll be ready for ya. And when you DO come lookin’ for a fight, I’ll take great satisfaction in bouncing on that fat ass of yours while you TAP OUT to the Sharpshooter.”

Unperturbed by the champ’s comments, J-Lo purred, “I’m glad you think you’re ready for a fight Slayer, because I intend to snuff you out VERY soon.”

Dropping the belt beside her, the blonde challenged, “Bring it on bit-AANGGHH!”

She was cut off rather abruptly when Lopez buried a Knee Lift in her crotch. Sneering into the crimped face of the Slayer, J-Lo shrugged, “As you wish honey.”

Staying close to the wounded blonde, Lopez slipped a hand between the Slayer’s thighs while the snaked over the lissome blonde’s shoulder. With no discernible effort, J-Lo hoisted Sarah off the mat and inverted her, forcing the newly crowned champion’s head into her crotch while Lopez was forced to endure Sarah’s center mere inches from her face. Adjusting her grip so that both arms were locked around the Slayer’s waist, Jennifer turned in a slow circle, making sure everyone in the audience knew what was coming. Finally through with the theatrics, the Latina Supreme rose up on her toes and then dropped to her knees, spiking the crown of Sarah’s skull into the mat with the Tombstone Piledriver she called Ridin’ the Six.

The ring wasn’t even through shaking when Lopez scooted forward, letting her ass hang a few inches over that devastated beauty’s nose. Putting her hands on her hips, Lopez stretched her black briefs across her buns and taunted, “I wonder how long a Slayer can withstand my smother?”

Without another word, she sank to her knees and applied a Reverse Straddle. But instead of simply pinning Sarah’s arms down with her shins, J-Lo nudged her calves under her victim's arms, lifting the blonde’s shoulders off the mat by a few inches. Taking care to make sure her feet were fitted tightly against either side of Sarah’s skull, J-Lo reached back with both hands and slowly patted her cheeks, drawing the audience’s attention the ‘YOUR FACE HERE’ logo adorning her briefs.

Pausing to drink in the anticipation, she grabbed the beaten girl's wrists and crisscrossed them over her thighs; left holding right, right holding left. Grinning the grin that adorned so many of her posters and promotional stills, Jennifer settled down, snuggling her rump onto Sarah’s face to apply the Reverse Face Sit. It’s a good thing Richard Fannin always had a lot of security on hand for his events because a large contingent of Sarah fans nearly rioted when J-Lo trapped their heroine in a move so deadly it was simply known as THE Smother.

On the more horizontal end of the spectrum Sarah was just beginning to understand why the whispered stories of Lopez’s legendary Facesit prowess weren’t exaggerations! In fact, if anything, they’d been downplayed about how debilitating the hold was! Sarah’s hands were tightly bound and her powerful legs were pinned by her own body weight, so there was no possible way for her to wriggle free. And if that wasn’t bad enough (and it was bad, believe me when I tell you), J-Lo’s elephantine ass was serving as an effective muffler, dampening all but the loudest of Sarah’s sobs of embarrassment or pleas for mercy.

The oxygen deprivation (and Jennifer’s occasional lifts) brought Sarah back around over and over again, but there was no way for her to escape the hellish gluteal furnace. The whole of her face was being wedged deep into the crack of Jennifer’s ass and the more she tried to fight it, the harder her nose was pinched between those smooth, damp muscles. Finding her legs useless, Sarah writhed and twisted as hard as she could, but the weight of Lopez’s frame was resting solidly on her upper body and she didn’t get very far. Bawling in unacknowledged shame, Sarah tried to tap out or at least get Jen off her, but all her attempts were filtered through J-Lo’s butt and they came out as nothing more cogent then “GEDDDOBBBMEEE and sadly, the ref didn’t have the guts to remove Lopez from her newest throne.

From her perch on Sarah’s nose, Jennifer increased the pace of her Rump Shaker, letting her ass envelop as much of Sarah’s face as humanly possible. Flexing her vaunted cheeks, Jen treated the Slayer’s nose to a callous pinch that could have sent the frantic champion in search of a good plastic surgeon. Lopez didn’t want to break the pinned girl’s nose; she just wanted to make sure the other helpless blonde was awake for as long as possible. Looking for the final humiliation, J-Lo grabbed the discarded World Title belt and snapped it around her waist. Still grinding her hips into Sarah’s face, Jennifer held the blonde’s hands up and then released them. They tumbled to the mat without any sign of resistance.

Smirking, Lopez patted Sarah’s defenseless chest and said, “Looks like you’ve had enough ass for now sweetie, but don’t worry; there’s plenty more coming.” Getting off the unconscious Slayer, Jen grabbed the mic and turned to the howling audience. Grinning from ear to ear, she said, “Take a look at the NEXT World Champion people! While I have no doubt I can defeat this loser just as easily as I have everyone else I’ve faced in this promotion, I do worry that sweet little Sarah might not want to honor my title fight now that I’ve humiliated her so badly. So to make sure she gives me my shot, I think I’ll take this shiny new toy of hers as collateral. After all possession is nine tenths of the law and there’s nobody here that’s going to take this from around my waist.” She turned around and placed her right boot on Sarah’s oblivious cheek. Glaring down at the battered girl, the Latina Supreme finished by saying, “You want this belt back honey? Give me my shot and prove you DESERVE it. It stays with me until you do.”

Having made her point, Lopez tossed the mic aside and strutted out of the ring, leaving the new champion unconscious, embarrassed and without the very thing she had fought so hard to reclaim.