Brooke Burns vs. Shannen Doherty (Paradise Lost, Hawaii 50 Nowhere to be Found) by Black Mamba

It started about four years or so ago when an eager Brooke Burns, then blonde, was up for a part on “Charmed”. Shannen, The Memphis Belle, catching wind that it was Brooke Burns, formally of “Baywatch” thought, ‘Oh no, not another bimbo blonde beach bunny! Get real; get a real actress,” exclaimed Shannen. The Raven-haired witch had already disrespected out of parts actresses like Jennifer O’Dell, who would later get a part on “Charmed” - AFTER Shannen left - and Jenny McCarthy (ditto). Eventually, the part went to Elisabeth Harnois, ironically playing the part of Brooke, as the producers of the hit TV show caught wind of this and wanted to keep the unstable Shannen happy. Little did anyone know at the time that Shannen was fooling around with Brooke’s husband, Julian McMahon, on the side which was the REAL reason for Shannen's outburst as well as one of the reasons she eventually left the show along with the much published ‘Alyssa angle’ which we all know much too well!

Unfortunately for Brooke, the incident didn’t just end at the studio! A few weeks after that initial encounter with the "Charmed" show, Brooke found out Shannen not only put the axe to her character’s part in the TV show but was putting something else to Brooke’s husband Julian (who started with Doherty on Charmed). Brooke approached Doherty demanding an explanation and harsh words were exchanged in a nightclub. Soon after the altercation turned physical at the Porn Star Fight Club with the melee (uncharacteristically) broken up by the clubs bouncers. Eye-witnesses reported that Shannen got the better of Brooke that night as Brooke left the scene holding the side of her face.

Flash forward to the present! Brooke is now an established actress on the new “North Shore” TV show, beloved by her cast-mates and crew. But the Texas born beauty was in for the surprise of her young life as a certain dark-haired vixen was about to return to nighttime TV; but this time Shannen was invading Brooke’s territory! Needless to say, Brooke was livid! The next day after the news broke, she stormed right up to producers office demanding an explanation!

The executives explained their reasons; to add spice and charge up the Paradise known as “North Shore”. The only way to do that, was to bring in Shannen Doherty (“The dark-haired, Locklear” as she was being known in Hollywood).

Brooke, not satisfied with answer issued the producers an ultimatum, “If Shannen comes, I GO!”

The producers wasted no time explaining the financial implications involved if she pulled a move like that. Brooke totally frustrated and angry was hand cuffed by contractual obligations and re-thought her demands and accepted the producers wishes and went back to work on the set.

The first day shooting was really tense, with cast and crew walking on eggshells when Brooke and Shannen were on the set together as everyone waited for something untoward to happen - but nothing did! In fact, it was eerily quiet and both girls were pretty much professionals while on set - to some peoples dismay it was getting to be boring! But then shooting broke for lunch and Brooke, carrying her drink and food outside to the patio service tables to bask in the warm Hawaiian sun bumped into the blonde errr…brunette! brooke turned around right into Shannen, spilling her drink on the new arrival.

"Damn .. it!" Shannen shouted even surprising Brooke. "You bitch, you did that on purpose!"

"No I didn't Shannen," Brooke hazarded with a little bit of a laugh; only angering Shannen more.

"Stop laughing bitch, or I'll slap that laugh out of you, you cunt!”

Brooke’s expression changed to cold stare. “You think you can muster that much strength, witch?" Brooke grinned, digging into that tired old "Charmed" reference.

"Skank, I'll take you anytime anyplace!"

All eyes turned and crowed gathering. “Lock the set!” someone yelled as both Brooke and Shannen didn't want word of their altercation getting back to the studio exec's; still neither was going to back down and each looked to settle an old score as both girls readied themselves to kick each others butt.

Brooke was wearing a red floral print bra and top and Shannen a black two-piece as this brunette vs. raven-haired match was about to begin! Quickly as both kicked off their flip-flops to battle it out. SLAP! Shannen quickly broke one off to the side of Brooke's lovely face, knocking her backward across the food table. Shannen looked to press her attack as she jumped on Brooke, ramming her head back on the table. Brooke pushes Shannen away with her foot and gets back to her feet swinging haymakers in Shannen's direction with the raven-haired dominatrix ducking under them. Shannen again catches Brooke, this time in the gut doubling up taller brunette!

Shannen wrestles Brooke to the ground for a pummeling while Brooke is covering up from the beating that Shannen is lovingly giving her. Brooke, not standing on ceremony, reaches up and grabs Shannen’s dark hair yanking it and rolling Shannen off of her, screaming, "Bitch get off me!"

As they got into striking distance, Brooke lashed out with a big right hook but Shannen easily dodged the punch and responded with a kick to Brooke's ribs, then followed with another punch to the gut that partially winded and doubled over the tall blonde-now-brunette Brooke. A straight punch to the neck and shoulder blades dropped Brooke on the floor on her hands and knees wincing.

Brooke rams a shoulder into dark-haired vixen's gut knocking her down, then jumps on Shannen and the two roll, scratch, punch, slap and pull hair as the fight spills over and around the vacant set. Finally mutually pushing each other away, both girls get back to their feet yelling insults colliding violently,

"Fuckin' slut ..: SLAP!

"Little .. whore..." CRACK!

"Bitch!" WHACK!

Shannen shoves Brooke back hard as the mocking continues, both just reining verbal venom down on at each other as once again they rush toward each other, brutally grasping each others hair, then Shannen bulling the bigger Brooke back against the wall and ramming the back of her head into it repeatedly.

THUD "uhnnn ..." THUD "unnh..." THUD "unnh..."

Shannen unleashes a right across Brooke's jaw leaving the former Baywatch beauty with mouth agape to the "OOH's" and "AAH's" of the crowd, most with mouths open in shock watching the vicious onslaught unfolding before them as Shannen is getting the better of Brooke in the savage exchange.

Once Shannen has Brooke properly disciplined and groggy, she starts to choke her adversary as her fingers press hard and deep into Brooke's windpipe, forcing the one-time blonde bombshell to her knees as Brooke gurgles for help looking like a beaten woman; yielding to her superior and the petite Shannen who certainly looks the part of the uber-fiend dominatrix as Brooke withers and whimpers from the choking experience sapping her strength.

Shannen, now dominating the match, punishes Brooke as the sexy brunette no longer has the strength to break the raven-haired Shannen's deathgrip and she’s slowly giving in to her lack of air. Shannen forces Brooke down onto her haunches where Shannen rips off Brooke's red floral bikini top, baring her nice size breast to the delight of their cast mates. Fortunately, that was the break Brooke needed to recover from the vicious choke down and she surprises Shannen with a well-placed fist to the groin.

WHAM! "Ooohhhhhhh..." Shannen wheezed as she dropped to one knee in shock, covering her private parts with both hands.

Brooke unleashed a left across the Shannen cheek, staggering the former “Charmed” one. The girls traded blows on their knees, slugging like to prize fighters in the fifth round. Brooke, grabbing Shannen’s flowing flaxen hair, throws the newcomer to North Shore to the ground to the cheers and delight of the crowd. Brooke looking to do damage, kicks the witch while she is down in a mean-spirited approach, her foot catching Shannen right in the ribs. Shennen rolls from the impact right into a set of wooden folding chairs crashing loudly... CRASH! Brooke, in slow pursuit, reaches for Shannen who uses one of the chairs to shield herself from Brooke's assault, kicking the North Shore Princess back. Shannen throws the chair at Brooke temporarily blocking Shannen from view during which the ex-Charmed one works her Black Magic as she quickly grabs Brooke by the hair and throws her head first into the pile of wooden chairs. The crowd gasps in horror at the barbaric tactics being used by Shannen, who with reckless abandon, dives onto Brooke's athletic frame and grabs her by the hair!

Shannen fires off a couple of quick punches to the side of Brooke's face, branding her with her mark as dominator! The beautiful new brunette wilts under Shannen’s pummeling but still not finished with her punishment, Shannen picks up one of the wooden chairs and smashes it on the prone brunettes arm and shoulder causing the Texas beauty to groan and worm in pain, "Uunnnnnnnn..."

Shannen, grinning and licking her chops, knows Brooke was hurt by the hit and looking to humiliate Brooke some more, she rips off Brooke’s bikini bottom, totally exposing every inch of Brooke's lovely body to one and all who start to swoon in their appreciation of Brooke’s well toned and athletic form; beautiful in its mere appearance. Shannen, dragged Brooke by the ankles out of the sea of chairs and pulls her around the floor, displaying the (obviously ex-blonde) in all her naked splendor for all to see as she mocks the fallen star.

"’North Shore’ is mine now; you need to go cunt!" Shannen hisses as Brooke whimpers in pain and humiliation before her cast and crew.

As Shannen, mercilessly continues to drag her new brunette toy around, Brooke grabs onto a table leg, halting the "old west horse dragging" by Shannen as she kicks the dark-haired beauty away. Brooke lunges for Shannen and grabs both her ankles, forcing the smaller girl to the floor as they renew their slapping, punching and hair-pulling trying to gain an edge. Shannen quickly rakes Brooke’s eyes and digs her claws into her naked groin, ripping into the tender, up-rooted flesh while Brooke screams as searing pain racks her fabulous body until she trembles once more and yields to Shannen's might and dirty tricks!

The crowed watches in silence, stunned by the on-going struggle as Shannen seizes the opportunity to quickly floats over and get behind Brooke where she carries out a renewed assault, mounting Brooke and slamming her face down on the floor with a dull sickening THUD "Oof...unnggghhh" is heard with lots of groaning by Brooke.

Shannen, getting nasty, pulls Brooke's head up roughly using a fistful of tightly wrapped hair and asked, "OK bitch; you giving up or do I have to continue to kick you butt?"

Brooke, just grunted "ahhh..." but nothing more so Shannen, places her hand underneath and cupped Brooke's chin, twisting and turning Brooke's neck while maintaining the fist full of hair and asked again, "What's it gonna be bitch, you give?"

Amidst a stunned and shocked audience, more grunts were heard as Brooke, working hard, managed just in a fashion whereas now Shannen's thumb made a juicy target as Brooke sampled some of Shannen flesh!

“OooooOOUCH!@....You mutherfucker!"

Brooke had taken a bit out of Shannen's thumb leaving her teethmarks as evidence. Brook bucked, upending Shannen and finally getting the little monkey off of her back! Shannen, shaking and wringing her hands, while Brooke, sick of being brutalized by the petite monster. Brooke went on the offense and buried a hard "West Texas Longhorn" right hand to Shannen's chin knocking the dark-haired “Charmed one” to the floor on her back. Brooke drives a knee to Shannen's groin doubling up the smaller girl.

"You like to choke bitch I'll show you some choking Texas style"

Brooke picks up her own torn bikini top from the ground next to her and wraps it around Doherty's neck, pulling it tight. Now it’s Brooke's turn to showcase Shannen whose face grew flushed from the tight cloth hampering her breathing. With an evil glint in her eye, Brooke was hell bent on making Shannen pay for her mistreatment of her. Shannen reaching up, clawed at Brooke's wrists and arms as red welts began to rise in Burns and the hold was broken.

Shannen, now backing away as Brooke advances, slowly moving in. Shannen managed to grab one of her sandals that was discarded earlier then lunged like a cat at the brunette and smacked Brooke up side the head, knocking the bigger brunette back onto the couch. Shannen begins to have her way once more with the North Shore Princess owning her on sofa while attacking all her vital areas; working Brooke's nice boob's with hard squeezes while grinding a knee into her crotch. Brooke can’t take this abuse for long and fights back with grit and resolve. Breaking through Shannen’s defense, she grabs the dark hair of the "New Kid in Town" in both hands and wrenches her her off the sofa, sending Shannen to the floor with a loud THUD "Uunnnggghh."

Brooke slams the back of Shannen's head on the floor a couple of times for good measure before she flips the smaller Shannen over and plants a knee in the elbow joint of her arm.

As Brooke hauls back on the arm, Shannen starts to scream, "AIIEEEE!"

"Now, Bitch what do you say?"


Brooke surprises herself and everyone else pulling that maneuver, then easing back just a little while still maintaining control.

"Shannen you bitch, I don't have all give up or what?"

"Ahh...yes Brooke....ahh....I give ... you got.... let me go," cried Shannen.

"I don't gotta do nothing...but I tell you what you’re gonna do; you’re gonna leave this island as soon as your episodes are finished; you’ll tell the producers, ‘Thank you, but I don't want the part,’ if they offer you an extension, you got it?"


"No buts…LEAVE, GOT IT slut?"

"OK...ahh....OK....I'll leave ahh….no extension," Shannen sobbed.

The sound of applause broke out as both Shannen and Brooke forgot they weren't alone. Brooke got up and stood over her conquest, calling one of the on-set personal to bring her a robe and a bottle of water. Brooke slipped the robe on, disappointing most of the witnesses to the melee.

“Brooke, where’d you learn that hold?" someone asked.

Between pants, Brooke replied, "My friend Heather teaches martial arts. Thank goodness I remembered a lesson or two. I'll have to give her an extra long hug next time I see her."

The crowed and their beloved Brooke begins to separate, leaving a sobbing and well-beaten Shannen face down, contemplating what just transpired while already beginning to consider the next show she can terrorize.

Epilog: Shannen dominated the much taller Brooke in this match and even forced the brunette to her knees and on her back on several occasion with near submissions. But Brooke won and found in any battle with Shannen a woman is extremely fortunate to come out the victor - Brooke prevailing ONLY because she remember her friends lessons and corrected a wrong all in the same - albeit tough long - day. (NOTE: A DVD of the altercation has been advertised as available on the Internet - but like almost everything on the Internet, we doubt its authenticity and caution readers not to be fooled!)