Shania Twain/Mariah Carey vs. Faith Hill/LeAnn Rimes by jermaine

It had become the longest running, most boring storyline in Nashville. Jealous, spiteful, anger-management challenged Shania Twain seeking out a physical confrontation with the stronger, taller, more athletic Faith Hill. In the predictable aftermath of yet another routine beatdown, Faith expressed concern about her image - i.e., pummeling the smaller Shania was beginning to earn her a 'Bully' image. Although Faith had never sought a confrontation with Shania, SHE was the one suffering the image 'hit' every time she successfully defended her honor by busting Shania up.

Faith was deeply involved in her first major dramatic role, a re-make of the epic classic sci-fi novella 'The Stepford Wives' and she was having the time of her life doing it! If there was a part Faith was "born to play" it was the cold, sexless housewife robot!! She was feeling surprisingly comfortable in Hollywood and relished the time she spent after shooting closed for the day living large in her luxury of a suite at The Beverly Wilshire Hotel; hitting the dance clubs or night spots or even slipping into her Ray-Ban's and ducking surreptitiously into one of the 'outre' clubs that dotted the Los Angeles scene; places like Jack and Warren's "Put Up or Shut Up Club" or the dark, dangerous, mysterious goings-on at the 'women only' "Porn Star Fight Club."

On this particular night, however, as Faith popped the cork on yet another bottle of 'Dom' Faith slipped into 'something comfortable' - which lately had become a thong and a waist length silk robe, slipped between the satin sheets and placed a call to her family in Mississippi during which she laughed at her daughter's latest off color jokes from school.

But at the very instant Faith hung up the phone, there was a bustle of frenetic activity in the lobby below. Checking in, quite flamboyantly it seemed, were two divas who were in town to do a VH-1 taping that would take place over the next two days. Tight, short skirts, big hair, wrap-around shades and stiletto heels - were the 'uniform' of the new 'Country-Pop Alliance' (i.e., Shania and Mariah Carey, whose film career consisted of the buffoonery that was 'Glitter'.

Needless to say, both divas had plenty of reason to resent Faith Hill's apparently seamless transition to the silver screen. Mariah had just spent the last three hours trapped on a private corporate jet listening to a non-stop anti-Hill diatribe from Shania who - showing her all too often hidden practical side - played on Mariah's fragile psyche like a virtuoso to enlist her help in what she felt would be her final, victorious confrontation with the tall, lanky - and oh-so-despised, Mississippi blonde.

Unlike Shania, however, Mariah had both the size and the strength to match up with Faith. And, Shania had done the math long before she contacted Mariah. Two against one had a very pleasing ring to Shania - as long as she was one of the two, and not the one! Her brown eyes glistened with evil glee as she imagined unleashing her new 'pit bull' - all 5'9" and 130 solidly packed pounds of her - on Faith to destroy her hated rival once and for all!

But tonight, a little pre-fight hot tub relaxation was the only item on Shania and Mariah's agenda. Checking into a luxury suite at the opposite end of the hall from Faith, Carey and Twain took a long 'hot' provocative shower together, then retired to the hot tub for a long session of mutual exploration. Finally, exhausted but tingling, the two conspirators crawled between the silk sheets of their Queen size vibrating bed and did what came naturally before falling asleep 'spooned' in the arms of Sappho and Morpheus for a long and satisfying night.

A lazy, mellow sun rose on a picture perfect morning as Faith savored her wheat toast and orange juice. The phone rang and as she answered it, her face blossomed in a sublime smile at hearing her husband's voice. Tim McGraw had just completed an exhausting 40 night tour the night before in Fort Worth and he assured Faith he was heading straight home to take care of the kids. Then he handed the phone to his tours co-star, LeAnn Rimes.

"I envy Tim," LeAnn laughed. "He gets to go home. Me? I'm heading out to LA this afternoon; then off to Tokyo the next night. I was wondering if you wanted to have a little company tonight? I'll be in LA and I've no plans whatever."

"Of course, Darlin'," Faith chuckled. "But I'm warnin' you - I'm THE most boring homebody in the world out here. I just come home from the soundstage, slip into my a robe, eat a salad and fall asleep watching old movies."

"Man, after 40 nights in 40 different towns, you have NO idea how good that sounds. We'll just hang out and bore each other silly!", LeAnn replied.

"About 8PM?" Faith suggested, appreciating that LeAnn, unlike most Nashville skags, respected her marriage. Trust was never a problem with her.

"I'm there," LeAnn concluded.

Meanwhile, at the opposite end of the hall, the two divas were primping in last minute preparation for their taping at VH-1. Their outfits were a cleavage-fest and Mariah's remarkable ass was squeezed into a tight purple mini-skirt with a neckline clear down to her navel. Her legendary legs - stronger than Faith's, Shania was sure - were adorned with a nasty set of fishnet pantyhose designed to make a hooker blush.

Shania teased her hair into a wild creation, then slipped into a gold lame catsuit that fit her firm figure like a glove. A pair of stilettos added six inches to her height, making her appear the same height as the much taller Mariah. They stepped out into the hallway and headed for the elevator that would take them to the lobby.

Less than five minutes later, an unsuspecting Faith approached the same elevator and when the doors opened, her sensitive nose picked up an unmistakable whiff of too much overpriced perfume. She instantly thought of Shania - but quickly dismissed her intuition. Everybody knew Shania always stayed at the Peninsula - never the Beverly Wilshire!
The same sun which had risen to open the day so benignly, now was setting with a comparable gentleness, painting the sky with serene shades of pink and aqua as the three woman sped back toward the hotel on almost identical schedules. As Mariah and Shania's limo pulled into the driveway, they noticed their tall blonde target gliding through the lobby doors just having arrived less than a minute ahead of them. Shania smiled and winked at Mariah, knowing it was nearing time to execute their evil plan. Once Faith was safely upstairs, the divas slithered conspicuously through the lobby, catching the eye of every staff member and lobby guest.

Everyone in the business knew that Faith was a creature of habit and moments after locking her door behind her, she always called room service to order a dinner salad and a carafe of Chardonnay. Then while waiting, she would strip down to her birthday suit, take a longing glance at her framed picture of Tim and slip into a silk kimono with a brilliant green sash before she carefully arranged herself languidly on the sofa - showing just a little thigh which would be her 'tip' to the lucky room service waiter or waitress who delivered her 'dinner'.

Mariah and Shania had a 'mole' in the room service crew and they were informed the moment the unsuspecting delivery person rolled Faith's cart out of the service elevator. Mariah, wielding a chloroform soaked rag made short work of the unaware woman and dragged her limp body into a service closet before she triumphantly knocked on Shania's door, their signal for her success. Shania sprang out of their room wearing a 'spanking' new dominatrix outfit - one of her favorite off-stage attires - that featured thigh-high black leather boots. She was swinging an imposing looking cat o'nine tails firmly in the white knuckles of her left hand.

As Mariah rolled the cart down the hall, the smaller Shania lurked behind, hidden from view by the bigger woman. Mariah rang the bell to Faith's suite and when the hungry blonde asked 'Who is it?' Mariah replied, 'Room Service' in her sweetest girlish voice. Grinning, Faith hiked her robe up to show the waitress a little more thigh than the boys got, then said, "Come in hon, it's open!"

Mariah threw the door open and shoved the cart across the room as she strode quickly behind it. Faith took one look, recognized a familiar face and turned pale, her eyes and lips scrunched up in obvious confusion. She stood up and her lips moved, but she could only form the first syllable, "Ma..." before the cart crashed into her stomach and knocked her to the floor. The room was plunged into darkness as the lights went off and there was the ominous 'CLICK' as the door was locked. When the lights came on a few seconds later, Faith looked up and saw Shania's leering face hovering over her with the thick, stiff shaft of her cat o'nine tails whip pressed over her throat.

A nasty backhanded bitchslap from Shania removed any illusion Faith might still have had about what was happening or the reason for Shania's surprise visit. The sneer on Mariah's face showed where her loyalties lay as she wasted no time jerking Faith off the floor by the hair and putting her in a painful full nelson. With Faith immobilized and helpless, Dominatrix Shania couldn't have been more pleased. She gently untied Faith's robe to bare her luscious breasts, then began to poke her index finger into Faith's erect nipples; indenting them as if that somehow diminished their great beauty. Mariah, warming to her task, ratcheted the full nelson into an even more painfully restraining hold, forcing Faith to arch her back which only projected her breasts into greater fullness - and left them more vulnerable. Finally getting her emotions under control, Shania raised the cat o' nine tails expertly as she began criss-crossing Faith's fair breasts and flat abs, leaving dozens of bloody streaks and welts in her wake.

"I'm gonna getcha......GOOD," Shania cackled as she whipped away maniacally.

Then as a change of pace, Shania put aside her whip and drove her turbo-charged knee deep into Faith's exposed womanhood. The blondes bravery was taking as big a beating as her body and both slowly began to collapse. Two more brutally cruel knees from the villainess brought the first tears to Faith's gorgeous eyes. The sight of tears aroused Shania even more and she grabbed her rival's lowered chin in her left hand and jerked her head up, locking Faith's weeping eyes in her sinister stare.

"That's it, Sweetie. Cry, just a little, for me!" Shania quipped and Mariah chuckled in admiration of her coconspirator's unerring sense of domination and humiliation..

Meanwhile, in the lobby, LeAnn made just made her own modest entrance, but naturally she was quickly recognized by one of her fan's and the half dozen paparazzi who always stake out the Beverly Wilshire hoping to catch celebrities in 'casual' attire checking in - either alone, with their spouse or better yet, with a lover of either sex. The paparazzi are equal opportunists after all!.

"Man, half of Nashville must be here tonight," LeAnn's excited fan gushed. "Shania Twain was sure smokin' earlier tonight!" he blubbered, tongue tied by the sight of his idol.

"Shania? What's she doin' here? I'm here to see Faith Hill."

"Yep, she's here too. And Mariah Carey! Yeah, there’s a whole passel a' prime woman flesh to feast eyes on!"

Although LeAnn had never had any dealings with Mariah, there was something about the ‘coincidence’ of her, Shania and Faith all being in the same hotel at the same time that troubled her. Call it woman's intuition...just then, a room service cart caught her eye. It was a huge magnum of Don Perignon in a silver bucket. LeAnn was curious and confronted the waitress.

"It's for Ms. Faith's room," the Hispanic girl said.

"Bullshit," LeAnn snapped back. "Why would Faith need such a big bottle…and TWO glasses. I know she's staying alone and she HATES champagne. You're lying!"

The waitress, of course, was Shania's room service mole. LeAnn had seen her worthless type before, people living on the ragged edge of poverty with few scruples and those could be easily overcome by a liberal application of cash!. She cut right to the issue.

"You're Shania's girl, aren’t you? I can smell her cheap perfume on you. How much is she paying you?" LeAnn demanded.

The quaking waitress knew better than to stick with a sinking ship. "Five hundred," she volunteered meekly.

"Well, here's $2000 whore," LeAnn hissed through clenched teeth. "You're working for ME now."

LeAnn got inside the cart, and told the waitress to continue with her original task. A few moments later, she was outside the door to Faith's suite listening as the waitress announced herself. A few seconds later, Shania opened the door, her face beaming.

"Well done, Francesca!" Shania sang, handing the waitress a handsome tip as she wheeled the cart into the middle of the suite. After Francesca left, Shania carefully locked the door and returned to the bedroom, where Mariah was having her way with the helpless Faith who had her rapidly reddening face was locked tight between Mariah's vice grip thighs.

"Oh, happy day!" Shania crowed. "I feel like writing a song. But...wouldn't you know it, nothing rhymes with Faith."

With Shania's attention riveted on the erotic sight of Faith suffering, she was completely oblivious to the appearance of the new player in the room as LeAnn stealthily climbed out from under the champagne cart. Like a bolt of lighting on a sunny day, she swung the heavy green champagne bottle down on the back of Mariah's head! By the time Shania realized what was happening, LeAnn had already creased Mariah's skull and her eyes rolled back in her head, her leg lock evaporated and her unconscious body slid off the bed and dropped limp on the bedroom floor. LeAnn turned to stare menacingly at Shania's shocked face as the villainess stumbled back in panic.

LeAnn remarked through clenched teeth, "Don't worry, Hagface. I'll teach you what 'rimes' with Faith!"

The cowardly Shania beat a hasty retreat, pursued by a seething LeAnn, leaving behind Faith who was gradually reviving now that she was finally free from Mariah's thighs. But Faith had put up a struggle and she’d been badly beaten by Shania and Mariah’s double teaming tactics. Now, simply clearing her head and overcoming the pain of her wounds became a monumental task but with Mariah out cold - at least temporarily - Faith had a chance to recover

Shania's retreat was, in one sense, tactical for it led her back to where her cat o’nine tails was laying. Smiling cynically, she grabbed it, spun around and waved it threatening at LeAnn, warning the rampaging young woman away. Confidently, Shania raised the cat, taking dead aim at LeAnn's perky breasts. As the taloned tip whipped through the air, however, LeAnn reached up and caught them in her bare hand. Tightening her grip, she yanked the cat’s handle out of the startled villainess' hand, then angrily threw the whip aside and lunged toward Shania who fell awkwardly and landed hard on her tailbone.

Back in the bedroom, Mariah and Faith both were struggling to get to their feet and it was clear whoever accomplished it first would have a huge advantage over the other. Faith fought through her pain and stood up unsteadily just a second before Mariah and as Mariah started to rise from her crouch, Faith found the strength to unload a stunning kick; her long leg gathering speed as it swung in a wide arc until her foot smacked into the side of Mariah’s head.

Mariah grunted as she dropped to her knees stunned, a sitting duck for Faith's righteous indignation that took form as a savage knee to the bridge of the nose. Mariah rolled onto her back in agony, grabbed her bleeding nose and toppled onto her side in a fetal curl. Energized by her anger, Faith stomped the delirious New Yorker until she was a bruised, weeping, bloody-nosed mess.

Shania, much to her regret, now faced a rival who was just her size, but half her age and LeAnn came at her with lightning reflexes and the reckless courage of a 19 year old avenging angel. Letting out a blood curdling war cry, LeAnn quickly overpowered the trembling Twain and then declared open season on her plump breasts. Sharp fingernails shredded the ‘dominatrix’ outfit, digging into the sensitive tit flesh beneath. A steady diet of fore and backhand slaps sent the soft mounds dancing wildly, her nipples making little circles as her boobs bounced wildly and dozens of fingernail caused welts blossomed.

LeAnn mixed in some sledgehammer blows to the navel too, transforming Shania's six pack abs into a jelly belly. Once she killed the body, the rampaging LeAnn did a respectable imitation of the Ali shuffle before she ruined Shania's glamorous face with a steady rat-a-tat-tat of stinging jabs. Instantly, Shania’s eyes were bruised and swelled shut, leaving her nearly to aimlessly grope almost blindly while LeAnn danced around and pot-shotted her at will to her sensuous mouth and jutting chin until Shania was wobbling helplessly on unsteady legs. A single final punch dropped the diva on her butt then she rolled over gasping for breath through her bleeding lips.

Quickly turning around, LeAnn breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Faith apply an excruciating surfboard hold on Mariah’s lush body as the pop diva sobbed and cried out her surrender in the annoying, high-pitched range that had been her trademark. Faith, still yanking Mariah's arms, looked up and took inspiration from her glimpse of Shania's disheveled condition. Faith released Mariah and came over to hug LeAnn about the waist, lifting her off the floor and swinging her around in a circle as they both laughed triumphantly.

"Man,” Faith gasped when she set LeAnn back on her feet. “That's what I call a Twain wreck." Chuckling, she leaned down to get a closer look at Shania's battered face. "Wanna trade?" she asked.

"Sure," LeAnn chimed; poking her toes impudently into one or the other of the available orifices of Mariah's limp and sweaty body. "I think the Yankee bitch needs to learn the facts of life in the country lane, if you know what I mean..."

"Gonna show her your dark side, are you?" Faith giggled.

"Oh, yes ma'am, that's my plan," LeAnn chuckled as she loosened her belt and dropped her pants, then shucked her panties down, kicked them off and straddled Mariah; lowering her delicious young fanny on the pop diva's bruised face.

LeAnn got comfortable on Mariah's face, lining the villainess' nose up with her fanny crack, wiggling her rump and rotating her hips until she found her rhythm, then clasped her fingers behind her head, arched her back, pushed out her proud, perky breasts and licked her lips with satisfaction as she started to ride. Mariah kicked her legs in futile protest for a few seconds, but in her condition - and unable to take in oxygen - she was unable to sustain any activity for long and her squirming slowed and then ceased altogether while, across the room, Faith was just beginning to enjoy taunting her mortal enemy.

"I didn't appreciate you disrespecting my legs,” Faith grumbled, giving Shania’s ass a hard spank. “I guess now we both know Mariah's gams don't quite measure up to mine, don't we?" Shania's only reply was a frustrated groan, so Faith grabbed a handful of hair and ‘nodded’ Shania’s head for her. "Well, Darlin',” Faith continued. “Guess it's time to put the 'squeeze' on these," she gently ran her fingernails over Shania's erect nipples making her shiver, just in case the beaten brunette missed the threat.

Faith wrapped her long, powerful legs around Shania's chest at the breasts, then slowly rubbed her legs back and forth in a sawing motion. Shania's already tender tits were in no shape to resist this new onslaught and by the time Faith had done enough to satisfy her lust for revenge, Shania’s wounded boobs were flattened, looking more male than female. Faith punctuated her victory by lifting Shania's limp body, then pressing her up over her head and holding her there.

As Shania shrieked in fear and despair, Faith deadpanned, "Don't worry, Shania, you're just going up...up...up from here!"

With the final 'up' Faith let the conniving brunette go and Shania came crashing down on her tailbone right next to the room service cart. As Shania lay writhing in pain and rubbing her bottom, Faith upended the ice water from the champagne bucket over her head, then shoved the silver bucket itself right down over her head just at the moment LeAnn shrieked in orgasmic joy and squirted a volcanic volume of love juice, spattering it across the flushed expanse of Mariah's red face.

"Can we just chill and watch some old movies now?" LeAnn asked.

"Sure. I tried to warn you, LeAnn, I'm just a boring homebody."

"Yeah...right," LeAnn smirked as they each grabbed Shania and Mariah by the ankles to drag them into the bedroom. “Oh, by the way,” LeAnn added. “On my way up, I stopped at the hotel gift shop. I bought handcuffs and dildos. What a great place, they got everything a girl needs for a one night stand in Tinseltown.”

Faith grinned, “Hey, here’s an idea…let’s take these two out for a night on the town. Sheryl Crow told me about a kickin’ club called Porn Star Fight Club or something. Women only, cater to a celebrity clientele and she says we can pretty much do whatever we want to these two - or give them to the membership and let them have their way with them. Sounds kinky, but a lot more exciting than old movies on The National Network. Waddaya say, you up for going out?”