Charisma Carpenter vs. Alyson Hannigan by John J. - Copyright 2002. All rights reserved. jabljoh@ameritech.net
As the Showtime suits continued to garner a ratings bonanza with their actress catfights theme, heads started to roll at other networks as people scrambled to cover their ass. Two bigwigs at HBO nearly got canned over the fiasco but they requested the opportunity (more like begged and groveled) to set up their own HBO catfight special and beat Showtime by creating a special show for actress catfights. The HBO suits put their staff to work on finding actresses with grudges fast!

They scanned a list compiled by their research team of grudges with potential of turning into fights. One potential pair caught the executive producer's eye; Charisma Carpenter and Alyson Hannigan. He read that the on screen dislike between Willow and Cordelia, on "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer" wasn't faked during the years the two young actresses costarred on the show. Numerous reports of on screen hostility between Willow and Cordy paled in comparison to the animosity between the actresses who played them. Rumors said that a number of verbal altercations turned into near-fights between the actresses.

Phone calls were quickly made to Charisma's and Alyson's agents and it didn't take an hour for both agents to return the calls. They each indicated their client accepted the fight offer and looked forward to getting a chance to put an end to the feud. It was only a matter of a few hours until the Showtime staff also called, only to find they'd already signed with HBO.

Both actresses were brought to the HBO studio for pre-fight interviews. During the weeks leading up to the fight, HBO built the suspense as they announced the premiere of a new show, "Friday Night Catfight!" To provide a little teaser, brief clips from the interviews were broadcast between movies at all hours of the day and night generating even more interest in the premiere fight night.

A very popular segment showed Charisma saying, "I don't acknowledge Alyson is any kind of threat to me. I'm prettier, sexier, smarter and a better fighter. She just can't measure up! She's stark raving jealous of me. Why the bitch used every chance she could find to undermine me as well as my role on Buffy. I know it totally pissed off the bitch when I got a lead role. Well, tough shit, bitch! I'm gonna enjoy putting that little tramp in her place."

In Alyson's best segment, she had some equally unkind comments about Charisma. "Charisma really had some top-notch acting, two lines here and there! She's just like Cordelia - all bark and no bite. She hated that I was in the inner circle on the show, and she wanted to be there. She was simply jealous of me and tried to cut me off from the rest of the group. I'd love to know who she 'went down on' to get that role on 'Angel.' It'll be fun to finally cut the whore down to size!"

For a week prior to the fight night, HBO aired at least two interview segments after every movie. The suits wanted a great fight for their premiere event. They hoped to get ratings equal to Showtime's mammoth success with their Gellar-Alba main event fight. They figured the fight between Carpenter and Hannigan would be a great one to get their choice demographic audience, i.e., males 18-34.

By fight night, the anticipation for the fight had built even better than the suits had hoped for. In reality, HBO had Showtime to thank for that, as many people remembered the spectacular Gellar-Alba fight and hoped for a repeat. Once again, many bets, legal and illegal, were placed on the outcome of the fight. The betting seemed to indicate that this was going to be a very even fight. The arena was sold out long before fight night and even standing room tickets were impossible to get, with scalpers charging hideous prices for nosebleed spots. And, as with many top fights, luck (or perhaps a fix) would be a major factor in deciding victory or defeat for either lady.

A few minutes before the opening bell, the arena went dark and spotlights targeted a single figure standing in the middle of the ring. The spotlights brightened and her identity became clear. It was Shannen Doherty and the luscious little brunette was wearing a tiny, sexy black and white striped string bikini, a referee outfit, with matching stiletto heels.

She took the microphone and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the very first night at HBO television's new fighting show, 'Friday Night Catfight.' We have a very special event planned for our first program. This is a grudge match, between two ex-costars who don't like each other one bit. They will be catfighting, to settle their differences once and for all - and for your viewing pleasure, of course."

Shannen continued, "The rules are few, in fact, there's really only one, no outside interference. The ladies we're signing for these fights have a grudge to settle with each other, and the fight should be kept one on one in order to finally resolve the grudge. The ladies may use their bikinis and high heels as weapons during the fight and, yes guys, I'm definitely implying this fight, as well as all future fights, will probably be at the very least topless! HBO has placed a steel trash can filled with various objects under the ring. The fighters can also use any of those objects, if they wish, during the fight. This fight is a no-holds-barred, no time limit hardcore catfight. A 10-count knockout or an accepted submission is necessary to win. My sole job is to do the count out. A fighter may accept - or reject - her opponent's submission at her discretion. If she accepts, the fight is over. If she declines, she can continue until she is satisfied. But naturally, there's a risk the loser may make a comeback. The winner has to make the loser submit all over again - and accept that submission, for it to count."

Shannen paused for a few moments and then said, "And now the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm happy to introduce the competitors for this evening's premiere event of HBO's 'Friday Night Catfight.'" She motioned toward the entrance on the right side of the ring and the spotlight turned to the curtain. "Our first combatant is a current star of the WB hit show 'Angel.' Before her role on 'Angel,' she was a member of the ensemble cast of 'Buffy.' She's 5 feet 7 inches tall, and is 31 years old with long brunette hair and hazel eyes. Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, let's hear it for Charisma 'The Cobra' Carpenter!"

The crowd started to whistle and catcall as the curtain opened to reveal the gorgeous Charisma Carpenter. The lovely brunette catwalked out from behind the curtain, like a supermodel with long, graceful strides. The leggy brunette wore a very sexy black string bikini that barely contained her curvy figure and black stiletto heels. Charisma smiled and flirted with the audience as she made her way to the ring, stopping to sign a few autographs on her way. The brunette climbed the ring stairs, showing off her gorgeous bottom when she bent between the ropes to enter the ring, then went to her corner to await her rival.

As the spotlight returned to the curtain, through the darkness, Shannen spoke again, "Our second fighter is a current cast member on the hit WB show 'Buffy' as she's been since the first season. She's 5 feet 6 inches tall and 28 years old! This beauty has short red hair and green eyes and she hails from Washington, DC. Let's give up your applause for Alyson 'The Hurricane' Hannigan!"

The crowd once again whistled and hollered as the curtain opened and the alluring Alyson Hannigan bounced out. The lovely redhead swiveled her hips and ass as she slowly worked her way to the ring. She chose to wear a simple, yet very sexy, white string bikini which, although not quite as daring as Charisma's, was definitely very revealing and hugged the redhead's curves. She also wore stiletto heels, hers in red, to complete the outfit. Alyson smiled, signed some autographs and flirted with her fans as she strutted to the ring but Alyson was all business when she climbed the stairs to the ring. Unlike Charisma, the redhead didn't make a big show of sliding between the ropes, she simply stepped in and went to her corner.

The two ex-costars glared at each other across the ring as Shannen moved to the middle of the ring and spoke, "Ladies, you both know the rules. I've explained them to the audience so I'm not going over all that again. The rules are very minimal, and I expect you both to follow them. Now, FIGHT!" Shannen signaled the timekeeper, as she stepped out of the way.

At her signal, the timekeeper rang the bell and the usual "DING!" echoed in the hushed arena.

Charisma and Alyson lunged each other at the bell but when Alyson moved in to lock up with the brunette, Charisma dodged and lashed out with a long leg. Alyson gasped and sucked in air as Charisma's kick connected with her belly. Charisma came at Alyson, wrapped her hands around the redhead's throat and started to choke her. Charisma surprised the audience, as well as Alyson, when she picked Alyson up by the throat and then chokeslammed her down on her back.

Alyson groaned as she rubbed her sore back, stunned by Charisma's move. Alyson rolled away, trying to put some distance between herself and Charisma but the brunette followed after her. Seeing Charisma come after her, Alyson suddenly reversed her roll and kicked out with both legs. Charisma yelped and dropped hard when Alyson's high heels slammed into her knee. She writhed in pain on the canvas as she held her bruised knee.

Alyson got up, still a bit winded and sore from the chokeslam, but she grabbed Charisma's hair and pulled the brunette to her feet. She secured a side headlock, then ran forward a couple steps with Charisma securely in tow before she dropped down on her ass and drove Charisma face first to the canvas. Charisma's hips and legs jerked upward as she plowed into the mat, then she settled down and rolled over moaning. The bulldog worked perfectly! The gorgeous brunette saw stars after her head was bounced off the ring floor and a couple of drops of blood oozed out of her nose which wasn't yet damaged enough to bleed in a steady flow.

Alyson got to her feet to continue her attack. She grabbed a fistful of brunette hair and pulled Charisma up but Charisma reciprocated and latched her claws into Alyson's red hair as well. When the brunette suddenly yanked down hard, Alyson wasn't ready for the counter and she flipped over as Charisma jerked her head downward. Alyson spun her head around as she tried to keep away from Charisma's inevitable next attack but she never got the chance to escape for Charisma was right on her. With another hard yank of her short red hair, the brunette pulled Alyson into a head scissors.

Charisma squeezed and poured on the pressure, the muscles in her long, luscious legs bulged and glistened with each squeeze. She worked the scissors expertly as she increased the pressure, then backed off slightly, then put on even more pressure a moment later. Alyson bucked and wiggled in desperate, but futile, attempts to escape. Charisma had her, and her struggles only weakened her faster. Alyson realized that after several unsuccessful attempts and stopped her struggling. She grabbed Charisma's leg and sank her nails into the brunette's long, tanned thigh. With a wicked smile, Alyson raked her nails down the brunette's thigh, leaving a ribbon of welts and bloody scratches down the length of her leg.

Charisma screamed in pain as Alyson's nails dug in but she gritted her teeth through the pain, refusing to release her scissors. Indeed, she steeled her will and squeezed her thighs even tighter, attempting to knock Alyson out cold. Alyson panicked momentarily, clearly rattled and shocked that her scratches didn't force Charisma to relinquish her hold so she rethought her strategy. Alyson realized she had to act quickly before Charisma's legs could knock her out. Alyson forced her hand between her body and Charisma's legs. Then in a burst of adrenaline, Alyson jammed her hand back and broke the brunette's ankle lock, ending the scissors hold.

Before Charisma could regain her scissors, Alyson rolled away and gulped down some air. Charisma got up and gave her legs a quick check. She could see the welts and scratches Alyson left, but she knew this wasn't the time to worry about it. She went right back at Alyson, not wanting to give her any chance to rest or recover. Charisma moved in fast and leaped up and as she started to come down, stretched out her long luscious leg. Her aim was perfect and her thigh came down hard across Alyson's throat causing the redhead's legs to jerk upward, then fall back.

Charisma grabbed a handful of Alyson's red hair and roughly pulled the redhead's head into position to reapply her vicious head scissors once again. As she started to pull Alyson's head between her thighs, Alyson bit Charisma's bruised and scratched thigh. The brunette yelled in pain and again the redhead pulled herself free before Charisma could lock the hold in place.

More angry than hurt, Charisma got up fast and charged at Alyson who pulled back as Charisma approached. When Charisma came within range, Alyson pivoted and swung her legs around, sweeping Charisma's legs out from under her. With a yelp, Charisma went down in a heap. Alyson lunged at Charisma and her charge knocked the brunette onto her back. Alyson ended up seated on Charisma's midriff and she wasted no time wrappingher hands around the brunette's throat. She squeezed hard and Charisma gasped and groaned as the redhead's fingers dug into her neck.

Alyson leaned in, adding her weight to the hold as her fingers started to turn white from the pressure that she applied to her rival's neck. Now it was Charisma's turn to panic as she began to feet light-headed from a lack of oxygen. But then Charisma saw her target of opportunity. She reached up and roughly pulled down Alyson's little red bikini top, leaving her topless!

Charisma instantly dug her razor-sharp nails into the tender tits. Alyson screamed and bit her lip, but she held onto her stranglehold. Charisma continued her breast attack, digging her nails in and raking downward, leaving bruises welts, and bloody scratches on Alyson's previously perfect puppies. As Charisma kept up her tit attack, Alyson started to weaken under the tit pain and her grip on the brunette's neck eased a bit.

Charisma released the redhead's tits and shot her fist straight upward under Alyson's chin! Her head snapped backward as the redhead groaned. Charisma slammed her other fist into Alyson's jaw and her head twisted to the side just before she flopped over, dazing and seeing stars.

Charisma wasted no time. She climbed on top of Alyson and drove her knee down into Alyson's stomach, knocking the air out of her. Then she grabbed the redhead by the throat and started to choke her. As Charisma secured the choke, Alyson managed to move her leg into position between them and, giving a hard kick, threw Charisma off of her. The brunette tumbled backward and Alyson scrambled under the bottom rope and got out of the ring.

Alyson dragged the trash can out from under the ring, reached in and pulled out a frying pan just as Charisma slid out of the ring. The redhead whirled toward Charisma and swung the frying pan. Charisma stepped back, the frying pan just missing her head. Alyson spun around after she missed with the frying pan and Charisma grabbed the redhead's wrist. The two beauties struggled over the frying pan, pushing, pulling and twisting each other to gain control. After several minutes of fighting over it, Charisma finally won out and with a vicious pull of Alyson's fingers, forced her to release her hold on the frying pan. It fell to the concrete floor with a loud clank.

Charisma cranked Alyson's arm back and around roughly, drawing a pained yelp from Alyson. With Alyson's arm securely in hand, the brunette grabbed a handful of red hair in her other hand and ran forward and whacked Alyson's forehead on the steel ringpost. Alyson wobbled backward a few steps just as Charisma pivoted on one foot and brought the other arcing upward. Her high-heeled foot plowed into Alyson's jaw at high speed and the redhead staggered again, clearly dazed.

Charisma wasted no time in continuing her attack. She grabbed a fistful of red hair and smacked Alyson's head into the ring apron a couple times but after the second slam, Alyson reversed it and sent Charisma's head banging into the ring. Alyson secured a hold on Charisma's long dark hair and slammed her head into the steel ring post. Charisma wobbled and staggered back, dazed by the blow.

Alyson went back over to pick up the frying pan but as she reached down to pick it up, there was a chorus of boos from the audience. She glared at the audience and started to argue with them, shaking the frying pan and making motions like she was going to hit someone over the head with the pan. Alyson was so busy with the crowd, she didn't notice Charisma had got herself together. The gorgeous brunette charged the redhead and dropkicked her. Alyson never saw it coming! She staggered forward and fell hard after the brunette's high heels slammed into her back. Alyson's face slammed into the concrete floor, just barely missing the frying pan as she fell.

Charisma grabbed the frying pan and tossed it aside before she went back to her adversary and yanked her up by her short red hair. Charisma scooped up the redhead and bodyslammed her down on the hard concrete floor. Alyson cringed as her back hit hard. Charisma positioned herself with her calf across Alyson's throat, choking the redhead once again. She leaned into it, giving added pressure to the hold. Charisma tried to reposition herself again to add more pressure but Alyson was ready and she gave Charisma's ankle a twist. Charisma yelped and hopped back as she nearly lost her balance.

With a burst of adrenaline, Alyson charged at her wobbly opponent and tackled her down to the concrete. Alyson grabbed at the brunette's bouncing boobs as she dropped, got a firm grip on Charisma's bikini top and ripped it off. Alyson moved in fast and straddled Charisma, sinking her nails into Charisma's gorgeous, ripe melons and mauling them just as Charisma had mauled hers earlier. Charisma gritted her teeth through the pain as Alyson scratched and squeezed her tits and pulled her nipples. Alyson ended the tit torture when she slid upward and sat on Charisma's battered boobs and bounced a few times before she wrapped her hands around Charisma's neck and started to choke the brunette out yet again.

Alyson bore down with her weight, as she strangled her hated costar until she felt Charisma's struggle and fighting slow after over a minute of choking. Not feeling any resistance coming from the brunette, Alyson released her choke and rolled Charisma over onto her belly, flattening her full tits under her. Alyson went back to the trash can full of foreign objects, dumped everything out and picked up the steel can itself. She raised it and charged at Charisma but she couldn't see exactly where Charisma was because the can obstructed her view.

The redhead slammed the can down where she thought Charisma was laying, but the can hit the concrete with a loud bang, but didn't sound like it had hit a person. As Alyson looked around, she turned right into Charisma's retaliatory attack - the lid of the garbage can coming straight at her face. Alyson moaned as the steel lid bounced off her head and she went down hard!

Alyson made a grab at the baseball bat laying on the concrete floor but Charisma saw her move and grabbed Alyson's legs. She yanked bank hard on Alyson's legs, dragging her away from the bat which was barely outside of her reach. Alyson's sore tits scraped along the concrete floor as Charisma dragged her.

Keeping a firm hold of Alyson's legs, Charisma wrenched the redhead over and applied a nasty Boston Crab hold. Charisma folded Alyson's legs back further and further as she cranked up the pressure on her back. Alyson's boobs were being crushed under her body as Charisma pulled her legs back. Charisma knew she had a submission coming soon, so she cranked Alyson's legs back even more. Alyson moaned and then cried out in pain.

But suddenly, Charisma let out a yelp, as Alyson grabbed her hair and pulled her backward, unbalancing her slightly. She had no choice but to release the Boston Crab hold and Alyson tried to scramble away, but Charisma kept after her. Charisma forced Alyson to her feet with a handful of red hair and then, running full speed, Charisma whacked Alyson's head off the steel ring post again. Keeping a solid hold of her hair, Charisma continued to run forward, then dropped; driving Alyson's face into the concrete floor with a bulldog.

The luscious brunette hauled her adversary to her feet once again and rolled Alyson back into the ring, then followed her. Charisma grabbed Alyson's arms, dug her high heels into the redhead's back and tugged back hard! Alyson yelped, as the surfboard hold worked over her damaged back. Charisma showed no consideration for her rival's anguish, however, as she pulled harder and harder while Alyson moaned. Still, Alyson refused to give up so Charisma released the surfboard and put her in a camel clutch.

Charisma hauled back on Alyson's neck, nearly breaking it, but Alyson still wouldn't give up. Charisma suddenly released the camel clutch hold and as Alyson lay groaning on the mat, Charisma got up and climbed to the top rope. She launched herself immediately, giving Alyson no time to react or move before she came down. The brunette's powerful thigh pounded into Alyson's injured lower back and her head jerked up as the redhead screamed in pain, nearly in tears. Charisma got up and again grabbed Alyson's legs, putting her in another Boston Crab. She kept ratcheting up the pressure as she leaned further and further back.

Alyson finally had enough and she cried out, in tears, "I give! No more, please!"

Charisma hissed, "What was that, sweetie?"

Alyson cried, "Please! I quit! I give up!"

Charisma released the Boston Crab and let Alyson's legs flop to the mat. Alyson just lay still, tears streaming down her flushed face. Charisma didn't grandstand, or play to the crowd at all, she just slid out of the ring and started to rummage through the items that came from the garbage can. She found a long piece of rope and took that and the torn bikini tops as well and made her way back into the ring where Alyson was still lying in the same spot, still sobbing.

Charisma yanked Alyson's arms back harshly and tied her wrists together with the rope.

Alyson sobbed, "Please stop! I said that I give up! No more!"

Charisma hissed, "Shut up, bitch!"

With Alyson's arms secured, Charisma tied the redhead's ankles together and then secured her wrists to her ankles cowboy style, leaving the redhead hog-tied in the middle of the ring. Charisma then stuffed both bikini tops into Alyson's mouth as the redhead cried even harder. Finally, Charisma stood up, raised her arms high in the air and posed with her high heel on Alyson's butt in triumph.

After a minute or two to let Charisma enjoy her triumph, Shannen came over and pulled the bikini tops out of Alysonís mouth so she could sob, "I give up! Make her stop! I quit!"

Shannen took Charisma's arm and raised it up high as she said into the microphone, "The winner of our first fight of HBOís Friday Night Catfights is CHARISMA CARPENTER!"

Charisma smiled and waved to the fans as she strutted around the ring. She ignored Alyson, who was still struggling in futility against the rope binding her.

Charisma took the microphone from Shannen and said, "Iím honored and privileged to have been asked to take part in the inaugural fight for HBO. Alyson and I needed to have this out for a long time and we finally did."

The brunette paused, then spoke directly to Alyson as she said, "And honey, if you want a rematch, you know where to find me!" She smiled back at the crowd and continued, "Now it's time for my victory party. HBO has kindly allowed us to use the main ballroom at the Hilton Hotel. Let's go party!"

Charisma smiled, waved, and flirted a little longer before she left the ring and went to her dressing room to change for the party. Shannen stayed in the ring with Alyson until everyone had gone, struggling to untie the knots and free her. Alyson thanked Shannen and left quietly, avoiding Charisma and her noisy crowd of sycophants and hangers-on. She had no intention of going to the victory, or of getting in Charisma's face - at least for a long time. Alysonís face became even sadder when she spotted Sarah Michelle Gellar, Elisha Dushku and many of her other costars as they mulled around Charisma, clapping her on the back and congratulating her on the victory.

Vote results: Charisma Carpenter-875, Alyson Hannigan-822