Katie Couric vs. Meg Ryan by blackcape 12-21-00

"Coming up next on Today, Meg Ryan will be here to talk about her upcoming sequel to 'Sleepless in Seattle'. This time she's starring in 'Awake in Albuquerque' and they're already talking Oscar for her co-star Tom Hanks."

"What a surprise, Matt. We'll be right back."

During the commercial break, Matt Lauer leans over on the studio couch and whispers into Katie Couric's ear, "Are you alright? You seem a little upset."

Katie sighs, crosses and then re-crosses her legs in annoyance.

"Well Matt, the studio chief sent me a fax yesterday; says I'm being too soft on my interviewees. He wants me to be more of a bitch."

"Pie? Where's pie?"

It was that dullard, Al Roker, trying to butt in on the conversation, as usual.

"20 seconds!"

It was the stage manager's voice, echoing out from speakers attached to the rafters. Katie gets up, smoothes her pleated skirt and strides confidently to the interview set consisting of two couches facing each other. Meg Ryan is already waiting, her tousled blonde hair and beaming smile visible even in the dim recesses of the studio.

"Hello Katie! You look fascinating today! Is that a new hairstyle? I really adore it! How's the love life? Have you won any awards..."

Katie seats herself opposite the shining actress and takes her into account.

"Meg, Meg, Meg," Katie bubbles with faux enthusiasm. "Still perky as hell. How are you Meg, dear?"

"Oh, you know, the usual..."

"On five," the stage manager cries. "Four. Three. Two. One. We're on!"

"We're back on the Today show, I'm Katie Couric, and with me is the star of so many great films..."

"Name them," Meg chirps.

"Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, the list just goes on and on."

"Well, thank you," Meg exclaims, and shakes her tousled, golden highlighted hair for emphasis.

"But we're not here to discuss your movie," Katie intones. "We're here to dish about your love life."

"We ARE?" Meg asks surprised as she begins to squirm in her chair.

"Why did you have that affair with Russell Crowe when you had a son and husband at home? Weren't they good enough for you?"

"Katie," Meg replies. "That's none of your business. If you want to discuss my movie, well..."

"Face it Meg, you're a spoiled movie star who thinks she can do anything to anyone and get away with it, isn't that it?"

"Oh yea, well at least my husband's not DEAD!"

"Why you little..." Katie screams as she comes out of her chair, her hands grasping at Meg's throat.

The stage manager cries, "Cut! Cut! Get us off the air! Quickly!"

Katie has straddled Meg in her seat and is choking the blonde mercilessly. Meg, meanwhile, has both hands on Katie's breasts and is squeezing as hard as she can. Matt Lauer rushes up and attempts to separate the battling women. Al Roker follows quickly, his mouth full of Willard Scott's home made Blueberry pie.

"Katie, what's wrong with you? You don't just go attacking guests," Matt exclaims as he extricates Meg's throat from Katie's hands.

"Did you see what that bitch did?" Meg cries, rubbing her neck with both hands. "She attacked me!"

The voice of the stage manager booms down from the loudspeakers.

"Send both women to their dressing rooms. Katie, go home. We'll discuss this later. Meg, we'll have you back tomorrow for an interview with Matt. Everyone else, back to your seats! We're on in five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

As Meg has already departed to the guest room, Katie strides quickly to her own dressing area.

"That bitch!" Katie mumbles as she turns on the light and slams the door behind her. "What does she think she's doing, bringing up my dear departed husband?"

Still red-faced and angry, the feisty brunette begins unbuttoning her blouse.

Meanwhile, two rooms down the haall, Meg Ryan stands dressed only in her white cotton panties with lace fringe and matching bra. She too is fuming over the recent event.

"Who the fuck does that primadonna think she is, bringing up MY love life when I'm supposed to be plugging my new movie?"

Deeply upset, Meg begins pacing her small dressing room.

"Calm down, calm down," she tells herself, but instead she walks even faster in perpetual circles, like a wind-up doll gaining instead of losing energy. Finally, she decides on a course of action.

"I'm going to speak to her right now and resolve this issue!"

Without bothering to dress, she heads down the hall to Katie's room and, without knocking, throws open the door open to catch Couric in a similar state of undress, topless and wearing just a pair of tight, pink panties.

"What the FUCK?" Katie cries as Meg bursts in.

"I'm here to discuss what just happened," Meg says with a little smile as she shuts the door behind her.

"Get out, you cheap slut!" Katie roars. "Can't you see I'm getting dressed?"

Meg gasps, "WHAT did you call me?"

"A cheap slut, you stupid bitch! What you did to your family is unforgivable. Now if you don't mind, I'd really like to finish..."

But Katie isn't given an opportunity to complete her sentence, as Meg rushes over and punches her square in the jaw.

Katie's head snaps back from the impact and the angry blonde follows with a knee-lift to the pussy. As Katie doubles in pain, Meg takes her brunette adversary's hair and drives her knee into the anchor woman's face. Katie flies backward against the makeup table.

Meg presses on, fists flying in a fury, pummeling her with blows to the breasts, stomach, face and groin. Katie's body quivers and twists with each impact as Meg lands punch after punch.

"This bitch isn't much of a fighter," Meg thinks to herself. "This is too easy!"

As the anchorwoman slumps against the table in a daze, Meg takes both of Katie's breasts at the base and begins to squeeze for all she's worth. Katie's tits bulge between the blonde's fingers as they quickly turn a pale shade of blue.

"Aaaaghh!" Katie cries.

She tries to pry Meg's hands from her breasts to no avail. Instead, Meg pins Katie to makeup table with a knee on her pussy and slams the pretty reporter down against the surface, jacknifing her backward in the process. With her hands still on Katie's boobs, Meg begins to slam Katie against the table again and again.

In an effort to escape, Katie reaches up behind Meg and undoes her bra. In one quick, practiced motion, Katie wraps the bra around the blonde's neck and in seconds has Meg gasping for breath. Meg releases Katie's breasts and claws ineffectually at the bra around her milky white throat. Her knee slips down Katie's crotch and immediately, Couric wraps her long sinuous legs around Ryan's waist and begins to pump and squeeze.

"Who's...unghh! winning...unghh! now, bitch!" Katie gloats as she pours on the pressure.

The feisty brunette slips off the makeup table and lands on her feet, while Meg remains trapped and bent-over backward in Katie's standing leg-scissors, her head grinding on Katie's crotch as the anchorwoman keeps choking her with her own bra.

"How's this feel, tramp?" Katie growls, turning on the pressure in her legs.

Meg gurgles in response, her face turning white as her legs kick up and down in an attempt to touch the floor.

"You want down?" Katie asks. "You want down? You got it!"

The brunette uncrosses her legs, allowing the blonde's body to drop to the floor while still maintaining her grip on the bra. With Meg writhing on the floor, Katie stomps angrily on her body before putting both feet on the actress' breasts and pinning the blonde beneath her. As Meg's hands grab Katie's ankles trying to unbalance her, Katie takes both ends of the bra more and firmly yanks upward with all of her might, as though she were trying to separate the blonde's head from her body.

Meg's body arches and convulses, her head bent 90 degrees while Katie grunts in response. Meg begins to kick her legs up, desperately trying to knock Katie off her perch. On the fifth try, the blond succeeds, kicking Katie in the ass. She flies off of her foe and dives headfirst to the tile floor, where she smacks her head and lays dazed.

Slowly, Meg shimmies from between Katie's outstretched legs and unwraps the bra from her neck. As Katie still moans face down, Meg wriggles up her foe's body until she is laying directly atop of the fallen anchorwoman.

Using her feet to spread Couric's legs as wide as they can go, Ryan hisses into her foe's ear, "I'm still the better woman!"

Then taking Katie by the back of the head, Meg smashes the pretty reporter's face into the tile once. Twice. Again. Each blow harder than the last, until a fine trickle of blood begins to ooze from Couric's forehead. Lifting her body slightly, Ryan flips Katie onto her back. Katie's eyes flutter open and shut slightly as her swollen lips purse in a groan.

"Your face is fucked," Meg exclaims.

Jerking upward slightly, Meg flops her breasts onto Katie's face for a breast smother. Katie's famed muscular arms flail ineffectually, but Meg still grabs her wrists and pins her hands above her head. Katie bucks and twists beneath the blonde which only turns Meg on. Just before Katie is about to pass out, Ryan lifts her breasts and gazes once more into her beaten foe's face. The lips... the nose...so inviting.

"It's lights out, Katie Couric!" Meg exclaims with a perky grin.

Sliding herself over her prone victim's body, Meg plops her round ass straight down on Katie's face. The anchorwoman moans low, but her sobs are muffled by the weight of Ryan's body. Gradually, Meg begins to gyrate and grind onto her fallen prey's face, thrusting and pumping faster and faster while Katie convulses and writhes beneath her.

"Ungh! Ungh! Ungh!" Meg grunts, her butt cheeks tensing and billowing repeatedly as Katie's head bounces up and down on the tile floor.

Finally Meg lets out a low moan as she cums all over her opponent who is motionless on the floor. Once more, Meg breaks out into a cockeyed grin. She sits on Katie's face another two minutes, her back arched, her perky breasts thrust out in a victory pose before she finally stands up at last and looks down upon her vanquished foe.

"Here's a headline for your next segment, bitch," Meg snarls as she heads for the door. "Brunette Bitch Beaten By Blonde Bombshell!"

With those parting words, Meg swung the door wide and exited, leaving the defeated reporter unconscious and spread-eagled on the floor for her coworkers to find.