Desperate Housewives #2: Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher) vs. Bree Van De Kamp (Marcia Cross) by legman

"La, de, de, la, de, da," Susan merrily hummed as she grabbed two earrings out of her jewelry box, then quickly sprinted around to the other side of her bed. Her blissfully melodic manner seemed at odds with the quickened pace of her steps as she stopped in front of her full-length mirror, then slowly turned her head to one side to make sure the dangling earring was fastened properly. Happy with the way it matched her outfit, she turned her head and put the other one on.

"There," she proudly said as she checked out her reflection and smoothed a few wrinkles in her outfit. "How good you look!"

Fantastic would have been another answer if there were a red-blooded, heterosexual male in the room for she was dressed to put Viagra out of business in a tight, two-piece form-fitting melon-colored suit. She was running slightly behind schedule for her dinner date with her lover, Mike Delfino, but even the modest-to-a-fault Susan had to admit she liked what she saw in the mirror.

Susan’s new bright, orange-hued outfit could stand out in a crowd as could the body inside it. Her sexy suit was special; a Versace from France that cost a lot more than Susan had wanted to spend. But her bank account had been soaring lately and she was sure Mike would love seeing her in it so why not? And for the first time in her life, she could afford it! She’d struck it rich since the fateful day she and Mike ventured the now shuttered Goldie's Gym where she and her loathsome man-stealing neighbor Edie Britt had a spectacular catfight in sexy Santa suits; a day that ended with Susan - thanks to spinach - battering Edie to a pulp and winning Mike's heart.

Susan's victory over Edie also brought her a half interest in another local gym, one owned by her friend, Carol - one of the many women in the Wisteria Lane neighborhood who’d lost their man to Edie after being beaten up and forced to watch Edie ‘take her reward’ right there in front of them.

Carol felt sure that giving a champion fighter like Susan a share of the “All-American Angels” gym was the right way to thank Susan for teaching the blonde hussy a lesson and Susan's Tae Bo and boxing classes had brought a surge in memberships, especially after a few hussies from Edie's gym came looking for Susan to even the score. After Susan hurriedly downed a can of spinach, the pulverized hussies found themselves in adjoining hospital rooms. Once word spread of Susan's latest victory, Edie's gym went bankrupt as membership at the “All-American Angels” soared as dozens of kind-hearted gals signed up to get in shape - and learn a lesson or two from Susan on how to ward off a hussy.

Like the gym, Susan's reputation skyrocketed over the next few months after she notched numerous wins in bars, restaurants and nightclubs battling hussies who made the mistake of trying to pick up Mike or the ‘significant other’ of one of her students. The “All-American Angels” gym became so popular that Susan's share of the profits rose as fast as Mike's penis during Susan's catfight with Edie. Susan was arguably the wealthiest woman on Wisteria Lane and tonight she was treating Mike to a night she was sure neither would forget!

But as visions of ending the evening in bed with Mike danced in her head, Susan heard her daughter Julie’s shrill voice, "Mom! she yelled from downstairs. "Mike's here!"

"Tell him I'll be right there, Julie," Susan responded.

Like any woman, Susan knew enough to make Mike wait and heighten the sexual tension. About five minutes later, she slowly began to walk down the stairs. Mike, sitting in a chair facing the stairs, heard the sound of his lover's high heels clicking on the stairs and gazed up to see a heavenly sight. Watching from a side angle, Mike first saw Susan's bright melon colored stilettos with four-inch heels. Then, with each slow step Susan took down the stairs, he saw her shapely legs clad in shiny, nude stockings. His mouth watering over his lover's legs, he then saw the first hint of her outfit. Susan's tight, short mini-skirt didn't even reach the middle of her thigh and was wrapped snugly around her butt. She took another step and Mike saw the jacket was tight around her hour-glass figure and arms which were fabulously toned by many long hours of Tae Bo and boxing.

One more step and what jutted out next were Susan's prodigious breasts covered by two pockets. The V-neck jacket didn't allow for much of a view of Susan's milky white chest, but the bend in the pockets said all that needed to be said about the impressive size of her tits. Her single-breasted suit was barely able to contain her double-barreled chest. One more step and Susan was on the ground floor. She turned and flashed a neon smile at Mike. Her makeup enhanced by the overhead lights that made her face glow as her rich, black shoulder-length hair swayed as she moved toward her lover.

"Susan, you look incredible," he drooled.

"Oh, do you like it?" she said while batting her eyelashes. "It's just something that's been hanging in my closet for months." Susan quickly strutted over to Mike, grabbed him by the arm and whisked him out the door. "C'mon, sweetie pie, we'll be late for our big night on the town," she said before turning around to her daughter Julie as he walked out the door "Don't wait up, Julie."

Fifteen minutes later, Mike was motoring downtown in his new car and Susan was feeling frisky. When they stopped at a light, she crossed her legs, knowing that would get his attention. As her shiny stockings caught his eye, Susan began whispering in his ear. Ever since her wild victory over Edie, Susan had been enhancing foreplay - and the size of Mike's penis - by replaying the details of her fight and she used the same tactic again.

"Can you picture me fighting Edie in THIS suit? Can you? Huh?" Susan prodded. Mike's moan passed for a deafening shout of yes. Susan then stroked Mike's crotch. "Oh, Mike, I didn't know your car had TWO stick shifts," Susan said, giggling like a giddy school girl.

"This is going to be some night," Mike thought as Susan slowly stroked his erection, not knowing how accurate his premonition would prove to be. About a half-mile later, Mike stopped at a red light, turning to furtively check out the beautiful woman next to him. But as he looked toward Susan, his eyes caught a glimpse of the billboard on a nearby building. "Would you look at that," he said, reading the text. “Ladies, join the area's premier gym for strong, aggressive women. No one will get you in shape like the staff at Wisteria Women's Wrestling World. Come to 592 North Street and check us out."

"Wisteria Women's Wrestling World?" Susan said, quickly turning to read the sign, too.

"Hey, isn't that the address of Edie's old gym. I thought it was closed," Mike said.

"So did I!" Susan said in a puzzled tone.

"Hey, it's just a few blocks away," Mike said. "Let's check it out."

"Mike, I don't . ."

Before Susan could finish her sentence, Mike put his foot on the gas and raced toward North Street. Susan gave him a small frown, knowing the catfight lover in him was taking over, but she really didn't mind. Susan knew she was in great physical shape, even without spinach, and her recent training and victories had given her an air of confidence in her physical abilities. She had thought she had chased all the hussies out of town and now if there was a new - or old - foe in town she wanted to deal with it.

Susan was pondering the possibilities when she heard an "Oh my" out of Mike and again turned to see what he was looking at. "Ladies, don't let sissy girls push you around. We'll turn you into a tigress who can take home any man you want," read the sign in one storefront. Another, next to the entrance to the gym, caused Susan to grit her teeth in anger. "Come learn to wrestle so you can squish cream puffs like ‘Ms. Suzie Silicone Tits’ from the All-American Angels gym."

"Sounds like they're calling you out," Mike said. "Don't they know what you've been doing to hussies?"

"Stop the car!" Susan shouted. "If they don't, they will!!"

Mike zoomed into an open spot in front of the gym. Susan flung the door and jumped out of the car in a cat-like fashion that caused her tight skirt to ride up to her pubic area. Furious at the thought that a hussy would challenge her like that, Susan stormed into the gym, with Mike, quite literally, hot on her heels. Susan briskly walked in and saw a gym packed with sexy women. Some were practicing wrestling moves on a mat. Others were lifting weights. Some were hitting heavy bags and speed bags. Susan brushed past three women in skimpy workout suits, the purse on her shoulder hitting one of them.

"What the . . .," a blonde said as she turned around to see who bumped into her. But all she saw was Susan's shapely rear as the brunette continued to storm toward the front desk where a buxom blonde beauty in a skin-tight white top was looking down at some paperwork.

"I demand to see the owner!" Susan shouted.

A perturbed look filled the shapely blonde's face as she looked up, blinked, smiled and purred cattily, "And you are?"

"I'm Susan Mayer!" she said with conviction, closing her eyes, nodding her head and putting her balled fists on her hips.

"So," the blonde said slowly as she stood up, revealing that she had the buff body of a fitness queen to go along with her super model good-looks. "YOU’RE that bitch who gave Edie a beating!"

"One and the same!" Susan said, proudly puffing out her impressive chest.

"Edie’s one of my best friends," the blonde growled.

"You need to pick better friends, dearie," Susan said with a mocking smile. “And your boss needs to hire friendlier secretaries."

"The name's Kim," the blonde snapped. "And I'm not a secretary. I'm the No. 1 wrestling instructor on the staff."

"That's nice, DEARIE," Susan shouted back, "now before I have to teach you some business etiquette about how to deal with the public, why don't you be a good little girl and get the boss out here . . . Right now!"

Mike could feel his penis trying to bust through his pants as he delighted in knowing that Susan was itching for a brawl as if she had poison ivy.

As the blonde reached for a telephone, Susan eyed Mike and flashed a sly smile. Unlike their first visit to the gym, Susan now had no qualms about getting into a fight. In fact, she was ready for one. Ever since her fateful battle with Edie, Susan had grown to despise man-stealing hussies who loved terrorizing sweet, naïve woman who were hardly a physical match for them. Susan was once one of those women, but not since spinach entered her life. Now she felt it was her duty to safeguard the good girls of the world by teaching them how to be stronger and more confident while breaking the spirit of the hussies by kicking the crap out their supposedly rough and tough leaders.

Susan wasn't about to allow hussies to regain a foothold in the area around Wisteria Lane. And besides, the night was still young, there was plenty of time to kayo a hussy, have dinner and enjoy some bedtime dessert with an overheated Mike. How could she lose, be it against Kim or her boss, she thought. While she waited, impatiently tapping her toe, Susan reflected on her recent strong of victories over hussies - some even without the help of spinach - and felt certain once this new hussy realized the town's champ was here to straighten her out, it wouldn't be long before 592 North Street was vacant again!

"She'll be right with you," Kim said in a sugary tone. "She's been waiting for you."

"Just who is this lady anyway? She has some nerve putting up those signs. “Who the hell does she think she is?" Susan said emphatically.

"Why she's just the best wrestler and greatest fighter this town has ever seen," the blonde said.

"And her name is?" Susan retorted.

"I'll let her introduce herself, though I'm sure you know her. You're neighbors," Kim said with a giggle.

"Neighbors? On Wisteria Lane?" Susan said as her eyes bulged. "Who is she?"

"Don't get your cheap pantyhose in a knot, hon," the blonde responded. "You'll find out soon enough. Let's just say she was good friends with Edie, too, and she'd like to, er, discuss what you did to her."

"Who could it be," Mike said as his mind matched Susan against several of her beautiful neighbors in wild fantasy fights.

"It has to be that bitch Gabrielle!" Susan said. "'Hussy' doesn't begin to describe a grown woman who'd go to bed with a boy in his teens. I never liked her."

(ring . . . ring) Kim picked up her phone, quietly said a few words and put it down.

"The boss is ready for you," Kim said, laughing with delight. "Inside the main gym over there," she said, pointing to the same door Susan had walked through for her confrontation with Edie. "Maybe she'll give you a free wrestling lesson while you’re here," Kim added with a smirking grin.

"I don't think any of you hussies will be teaching ME a lesson," Susan snarled. She grabbed Mike's arm and turned to walk toward the main. "Let's go, Mike. Let's meet the boss, shall we."

Brimming with confidence and sure she could handle any woman in the gym, Susan led the way into the main gym. She pushed apart the windowless double doors and her eyes caught a glimpse of a sight that brought her to an abrupt halt. The gym itself was quite impressive. It was as bright as could be with pastel colored walls and was immaculately neat. There were sconces with fresh flowers and an ornate border around the top of the walls. The marble floor sparkled as if it was cleaned on an hourly basis. Rows of chairs surrounded the ring. Along the back wall was a table filled with drinks, vegetables, quiches and finger snacks and next to it was a new trophy case with two overhead lights illuminating a golden crown.

It was the neatest and cleanest gym Susan or Mike had ever seen. Then as their eyes stopped moving around the room and turned to the ring in the middle of it, they also saw something they’d never seen before. No, it wasn't Gabrielle. It was gorgeous redhead Bree Van De Kamp. Bree wasn’t wearing gym clothes, instead she had on a full length mink coat that covered her body from her chin to her shoes. Her normally pulled back red hair, usually worn loose to her shoulders with bangs, was now curled and fluffed in a seductive style very much like Susan's while her heavy make-up and lips gleamed under the ring's harsh, bright, overhead lights.

"Well, hello, Susan," she said with a piercing glare at the brunette. "So good to see you. And that goes double for you, too, Mr. Delfino,” Bree purred, licking her lips lasciviously. That was when Susan remembered the rumors about Bree having taken every eligible man - and a few NOT so eligible men - to her bed since the death of her husband Rex.

"I can't believe it," Susan said. "YOU’RE supposed to be this great wrestler?"

"One and the same!" Bree chirped, keeping her arms crossed in front of her, holding her fur coat closed. "I've been wrestling for years. I was state champion against boys in high school. My ‘grappling skills’ have gotten me everything I wanted - including any man I chose.”

“Right now I want two things,” Bree continued. “One, to teach you that you shouldn't go around beating up poor hussies like Edie. That's why I planned to humiliate you in a physical confrontation and show conclusively I’m the superior fighting woman - and the only woman in town worthy of wearing a champion's crown like the one in my trophy case.”

Susan looked stunned, wondering why she’d never known of this side of Bree’s life. “And what’s the second thing Bree?” she asked, her cheeks growing red.

“Second, I’ve decided I want wild sex with the hunky Mr. Delfino. You’ve had him to yourself long enough. Now, you're going to beg him to do it with me. After that, my dear Mikie will attest I’m a lot more woman than ANYONE he's ever been with. It’ll make a nice quote for my new advertising campaign, don’t you think so, Mike?"

"Well, you forgot about number three," Susan replied, barely able to hold her famously hair-trigger temper in check.

"And that is?" Bree purred throatily.

"I come up there and kick your scrawny ass," Susan said, starting to unbotton her jacket.

"Be my guest!" Bree said as she stepped back from the ropes.

Susan immediately jumped up on the ring apron and as she bent over to duck through the ropes into the ring, Mike felt as if he was on the verge of an orgasm as the tight skirt showcasing Susan's curves and legs as she bent over pulled skin-tight across her firm bottom. "Hmmm, good," he sighed.

But then his fascination with Susan's body received a stiff challenge for as Susan walked toward her, redhead Bree ripped off her coat and with amazing accuracy flung it onto a coat hook on the back wall. "Sorry to disagree," Bree said. “But I don't think anyone would call THIS body scrawny."

No, they wouldn't! Even Susan was taken aback by Bree who, on Wisteria Lane, walked around in stylish, but utterly conservative outfits. Now, however, she was dressed like a lingerie model in just a bra, panties and tights. Make that a tall, toned lingerie model with molded arm muscles and rock hard abs. She also wore a three-strand shiny pearl necklace snug about her throat and it covered almost as much skin as the rest of the clothes on the upper half of her body. All Bree had on was a lacy red quarter-cup bra that supported the bottom of her erect tits and covered little more than her nipples.

While Bree's chest wasn’t as large as Susan's, the two firm, well-rounded orbs of flesh were displayed in a manner that made them every bit as noticeable as Dolly Parton's and the rest of her body was just as enticing. Her womanhood was covered (just) by a lacy thong and she also wore bright, dazzling red tights attached to the thong that avoided that disconcerting tell-tale elastic band indentation at the top. Adding to the appeal of her legs - and helping to divert Mike's attention from Susan - were red spiked, stiletto heels. The stern, evil - almost demented - look on Bree’s face as she raised her arms and flexed her muscles told Susan this was as much about business as pleasure.

"Ah, she doesn't look too scrawny to me, Susan," Mike said.

"Michael!" Susan scolded as she turned to glare at him.

"Oh, don't fret, Mike," Bree said. "Susan won't be ordering you around anymore…in fact, telling you to screw me will be the LAST order you have to take from her. You see, I want you and I ALWAYS get what I want."

"Be careful what you wish for, bitch!" Susan growled, moving to Bree and standing face-to-face about three feet from the redhead. "You might not like what you get."

"Oh, I'll like it. In fact, I'll love destroying you right here in the same ring you ruined poor Edie. You've been very naughty with some of the finest hussies I've ever known and now you're going to pay for it by having your pathetic body broken into little pieces. But don’t worry, while you're in the hospital for the next six months crying your little eyes out, the hussies I trained will once again be in charge and I'll be screwing your former lover every night," Bree said, putting an exclamation point on her statement by tilting her head and flashing a taunting smile meant to demean the brunette.

Showing no signs of fear, Susan walked toward the redhead until the foreheads of the two women pressed against each other. Each stared into the other's eyes with a rage that seemed ready to explode at any second. "I always suspected you were a nasty, uptight bitch,” Susan hissed. “But now I see you're a nasty, uptight HUSSY. I'm going to enjoy kicking your ass even more than I did Edies and you know why?" Susan said. "Edie was up-front about what she was. But you…you're a backstabbing bitch whose even more arrogant than Edie was! Well, I assure you - you're going down just like her!"

"I don't think so, my dear," Bree said. "Poor Edie didn't do her homework but I've been studying you for a quite a while. You used some sort of trick or magic to come back and beat Edie and my other hussies. I don't know what, but I can match whatever you have with something special of my own. On Wisteria Lane you make me sick with your prissy little ‘good girl’ act while you’re really the biggest slut of all! It's going to be a pleasure for me to hurt you, then pull your man into the arms of a real woman."

"Sorry, you shrew,” Susan said with barely restrained fury. “But Mike’s going nowhere but out of here with me. The only tricks I use to deal with hussies like you are my fists and THIS body. And you're about to feel the wrath of both. Now if you don't mind, I’ll get some proper fighting attire and we can settle this before the dinner crowd picks up downtown."

Susan then turned her back on Bree and walked over to a ring post. She opened her pocketbook and rustled through it looking for her cell phone. She knocked a few old gum wrappers on the canvas before finding it, but once she did, she called home.

"Julie, thank God, you're home!" Susan whispered. "I don't have time to explain, just get over to Edie's old gym. Bring a can of spinach and that new fighting outfit I bought. You won't believe it but that snob Bree Van De Kamp is now ‘Queen of the Hussies’ and I want to kick her ass good. Get here as soon as you can and meet me in the locker room."

Susan hung up the phone, put it back in her pocketbook and turned to see Bree several feet in front of her. There was a blank, emotionless look on the redhead's face. "Those…those wrappers,” she said, flicking her finger at the debris at Susan’s feet. “’re dirtying up my ring," she said as anger filled her face with each word. "NO one messes up MY ring!"

Susan laughed at Bree's reaction to a few small pieces of paper, though she could see Bree's muscles growing ever more tense as she ranted. "Sorry, Bree, why don't you call your maid while Mike and I head to the locker room so I can change. I'll be back in 10 minutes and box your ears," Susan said as she started to push past Bree.

"The hell you will!" Bree yelled. She grabbed Susan’s lapels with so much force it stunned the boxing champ.

"I'm not fighting in this suit!" Susan protested. "It’s Versace!"

"It will be cleaning rags when I get through it," Bree said, swinging Susan around and flinging her into the ropes. As the brunette rebounded back to her, Bree charged and leveled Susan with a powerful clothesline that sent her cartwheeling into the air, her heels flying one way and her pocketbook flying out of the ring right into Mike’s lap. Susan's back and butt hit the mat with a loud THUMP. When Susan sat up she saw Bree had gone into a crouch, motioning with her fingers at the startled Susan.

"This fight starts NOW, you messy slut," the redhead snapped. "Get up and fight!" Mike felt on the verge of an orgasm as he looked at Bree towering over Susan with her long luscious legs; Susan sitting on the canvas with a stunned look on her face and her legs spread so he could see clear up her skirt. "Oh, this is going to be spectacular," he said as he grabbed his crotch hoping to extend his euphoria by postponing the inevitable explosion. In the ring, there was an enraged look on Bree's face as she raced over and grabbed Susan’s hair. "I said get up and fight!" she shouted. Bree yanked Susan up by the hair.

The brunette reached up her hands to try and break Bree's grip on her black locks as Bree pulled her around the ring bent over, pawing and whimpering as she struggled against the redhead’s power. Bree pulle Susan to one corner and pressed an intercom button on the ring post, then began to whip Susan around by her hair once again.

"Kim, Kim!" Bree shouted as she spun Susan around. "Get in here with all the girls. You'll want to see this."

Bree spun Susan around the ring a few more times then hurled her into the ropes. This time as the dizzy Susan bounced off, Bree picked her up by her crotch and shoulders, lifted the brunette over her head like a sack of potatoes and then slammed her down into the canvas. As Susan's body exploded into the mat, a loud cheer rose up from outside the ring.

"Yeah, Bree," Kim shouted.

Nor was the blonde instructor alone. About 20 workers and members were seated around the ring, all applauding wildly. As Susan tried to clear her vision and stand up, Bree stood in the middle of the ring and bowed to her fans. She then flashed a seductive wink at Mike and said with a conspiratorial wink, "Everyone loves a beautiful bully. Don't you wanna join my fan club, big boy?"

Susan couldn't believe what was happening. Bree was incredibly strong. Too strong for her without spinach. Susan frantically tried to devise a plan to keep Bree at bay until Julie arrived, and she started by crouching down slightly and putting her fists in a boxer's defensive stance.

Bree slowly walked over to the stunned Susan and said, "So you want to box, eh? Well, I want to wrestle! Now ladies, pay attention," Bree said. "Here's your lesson on how to deal with skinny little wimps who think they can keep you from getting the man of your desires. You merely wrestle her until she's beaten to a pulp as I will now demonstrate. You should start with a move called the double arm choke."

Susan tried catch Bree off-guard by firing a right hook to the head, but the lightning quick redhead blocked it with her left arm. She then kicked out Susan's legs from behind with a vicious strike that put a hole in her shiny pantyhose and knocked her legs into the air. She landed hard on her butt and in an instant Bree was on her. The wrestler dropped to the canvas, too, and wrapped her lethal, red-clad legs around Susan's stomach. Before the brunette could react, Bree used her right hand to grab Susan's left hand and her left to latch on to Susan's right. She then pulled both arms up so that that they twisted around Susan's neck and choked her.

"Ungh . . ungh .. aak," Susan spat out as she gasped for air.

After a few seconds of torture, Bree stood up, dragging Susan from behind in the process, and then flipped the boxer so that she landed on her stomach.

"OOOF!" Susan let out a grunt.

Bree then moved over Susan's prone body, picked up both of her legs and raised them off the ground, arching her rival's back like a horseshoe. "This, ladies, is a Boston Crab," Bree said.

"Ooow . . . oow . . . my back!" Susan screamed.

Mike could not believe what he was seeing. His wonder woman was being overwhelmed by the town's neat freak, much to the delight of the women in the crowd who roared their approval.

"Bree! . .. Bree! . . . Bree!"

"More on that move later," said Bree, who released Susan legs then wheeled and pounced on her foe, wrapping both arms around Susan's face and jerking her body backwards.

"This is a Cross Front Facelock," Bree said to the cheering audience. "Does it hurt Suzy dear?"

"No . . . No," Susan shouted, not wanting to give Bree the satisfaction of knowing how much pain she was in. Hearing Susan's defiant words, Bree jumped up and then stomped Susan's back with her high heels, putting small rips in the back of her jacket. Bree continued the assault by dropping both knees on Susan's kidney.

"Augh!" Susan screamed.

"I'll bet THAT hurt, my skinny little wimp," Bree said gleefully. The redhead then left Susan moaning on the mat and strutted over to the side of the ring where Mike was watching with a mixture of disbelief and fascination.

"Am I turning you on by punishing your girl friend like a little schoolgirl," Bree said she leaned over the ropes. "C'mon give the Queen of the Ring a little smooch, big boy." Remembering Susan’s fight with Edie, Mike replied with a shake of his head, although he was aroused beyond belief watching Bree's magnificent body in action. "You'll change your mind. Men like you always do," Bree said as she turned back toward Susan, who - inspired by Mike's rejection of Bree - summoned up the strength to grab the top rope and pull herself back up onto a pair of shaky, achy legs.

"This isn't right. I can't fight in this suit," Susan said, hoping to buy some time. "It's not fair. This should be a fair fight."

"You know, you're right," Bree said, charging Susan. "We SHOULD get you out of those clothes."

Though Susan put her hands up in hopes of keeping Bree away, the stronger redhead pushed through them and again grabbed Susan by the lapels of her jacket. This time she swung Susan around like a top before she finally flung her into the ropes. Bree, though, hadn't let go of the lapels, so when Susan went flying away, it ripped the jacket off her back. Susan bounced off the ropes and was met with a red jolt of dynamite in the form of a drop kick to the jaw. The thunderous blow from Bree's legs, propelled Susan into the air and sent her flying out of the ring. She landed with a loud CRASH among a row of empty chairs, scattering them. Bree smiled as she looked at the ripped jacket in her hand, rose and tossed it to one of her students.

"Hang that up, will you, dear," Bree said, "And Kim darling, please help Ms. Goodie-Two-Shoes back into the ring; we're not done yet."

"Anything you say, Bree!" Kim chuckled. She went over to where Susan was laying sprawled on her back, one leg draped over a broken chair moaning in pain. "Hey, bitch," Kim said, hauling Susan up by her hair. “You don't look so tough or fashionable right now."

A groggy Susan couldn’t fully comprehend what Kim was saying, yet was alert enough to feel a cold sensation that was gripping the upper half of her sweaty body. Looking down at her chest, Susan screamed in horror when she saw she wearing nothing more than a white bra and the sleeves of what was once her designer jacket.

"My jacket! You ruined my jacket. That was a $1,000 suit," Susan moaned as she futilely tried to break Kim's powerful grip on her hair.

"Don't worry, toots," Kim said, who proceeded to rip the ragged sleeves off Susan's arms. "Melon's really not your color, you’ll look so much better in black and blue." Kim drilled a punch so deep into Susan's stomach that took her breathh away as her eyes filled with tears. "THAT’S for what you did to Edie!" Kim gloated. "THIS’S for talking tough to me!" she said before clubbing Susan with a right and left to the jaw that left Susan's hair standing on end and added welts to the poor girl's face. "Maybe if you worked out in this gym and not that sissy girl's gym of yours you'd be able to put up a better fight, toothpick," Kim chuckled and said. "You're no champ. You're just a chump!" Then Kim grabbed Susan's crotch, eliciting a painful scream from the brunette as her sharp nails dug into the soft, sensitive flesh as she lifted the battered woman overhead and heaved her over the top rope back into the ring. For all the effort it took, Susan might as well have weighed as much as a feather.

"Thanks, Kim," Bree said as Susan landed in a heap a few feet in front of her. "You made a mess of those chairs, you slut," Bree said, kicking Susan in the ribs several times with the sharp pointed toe of her high heel. Looking up, Susan locked eyes with Bree and saw a demonic look simmering in the wrestler's eyes as she ravaged her ribs. It also seemed her muscles and tits had grown a bit larger just since the fight started. Susan knew help was on the way, but Bree had succeeded in knocking all of the hope out of her. Susan felt so helpless and scared of the bully in the ring with her that she started to give up hope that even spinach could help her. Her plight only grew worse as Bree picked her up off the canvas and began to narrate for her ‘students.’

"Did you actually think a squirt like you could beat a magnificent female fighter like me," Bree said to her overmatched opponent. "Maybe you were able to find a way to beat that airhead Edie, but you don't even belong in the same ring as a brainy, sexy and calculating woman like me." With Susan facing her, Bree then put the brunette's head between her legs. She wrapped her hands around Susan's waists and lifted her upside-down into the air. "This is a Piledriver," she said as hit the canvas in a sitting motion that propelled Susan's head through the canvas. Bree tossed Susan aside, ripping her tattered skirt off in the process, leaving the brunette quivering in the middle of the ring, stunned by a sadistic move that could have snapped her neck.

"Aaaa . . . oow," Susan moaned. But her cries soon grew sharper as the relentless Bree descended on her and wrapped her killer legs around her waist. The vise-like scissors hold crushed Susan's already sore ribs.

"Ladies, this is a leg scissors, and look what it is doing to this sad excuse for a fighter. Can you really believe that she dared to call herself a champion! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"Ooow . . . . arghh!" Susan said, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Stop it…Stop…it!"

"And look at what it's doing to her man," Bree said, pointing to Mike. "He’s getting excited watching my lovely legs destroy his feeble woman…aren't you, Mike. I bet you can't keep your eyes off these red beauties."

Mike didn't answer, but Bree as right as could be. Mike was going into sexual overdrive watching Bree's lovely legs inflict so much damage on a once confident foe who was now a battered and bruised rival who was a sweaty mess and was now reduced to wearing nothing but a bra, ripped pantyhose and heels. Holding Susan firmly in place seemed no challenge for Bree, judging by the way she then blew a kiss at Mike and then flexed her bicep and kissed the rounded mound of steel.

"I think we can all agree I've proven to be the better woman in every way, right, Susan?" Bree said. Though ravaged by pain, Susan refused to answer but her silence only enraged Bree who exerted even more pressure on Susan's poor ribs. "Right, Susan?" Bree insisted with a crazed look on her face.

Susan, tried to bear the pain, but her resolve weakened as soon as she heard one of her ribs CRACK from Bree's cruel hold. "Yes, right, Bree. You're the best," Susan blurted out. “Whatever you say….”

"I'm so glad you're seeing things from my point of view," Bree replied. "Now just to make sure we're straight on certain issues, why don't you tell dear Mike who's the sexiest woman on Wisteria Lane," the redhead said.

"Bree . . . ow ... aah . . . Bree is," Susan sobbed.

"And who's the champion fighter of Wisteria Lane?" Bree said.

"Yuh…you are," Susan said as she gasped for air.

"Oh, thank you, Susan. You're too kind," Bree said with a radiant smile. "And just to show there's no hard feelings, why don't you tell Mike that you only want the best for him and that he should have sex with me." This time, Susan remained quiet, though a few moans slipped out. "Go ahead, Susan," Bree said, her eyes bulging as if they were about to pop out of their sockets.

Unable to withstand the pain anymore, Susan voiced the ultimate concession. "Please, Mike, make love to her. Do anything she wants. Just make her stop," she sobbed.

"Why that's so sweet," Bree said. "I appreciate the brief - and I emphasize the word brief - workout but now we have to end our play time together. It's time I start wrestling with Mr. Delfino." Bree then unwrapped her legs from around Susan and jumped up. She pulled Susan up by her hair and turned her around so they faced each other. Bree then kicked Susan in the stomach, bending her in half. "Nighty night chump. I hope you'll rest comfortably in the hospital knowing hussies are back in charge of this town and your man will be in bed with me," Bree said before turning around and wrapping her right arm around Susan's sweaty, mangled hair. "Time for Bree's Stone Cold Stunner."

Bree dropped to the canvas on her butt, driving Susan's head down with her. While Bree's rear hit the soft canvas, Susan's head was smashed on to Bree's shoulder with bone-crunching force. Susan bounced helplessly off Bree's iron-like body and did a spin in mid-air before landing on her back. Her head turned toward where Mike standing and then her eyes closed.

Susan was out cold.

"Bree . . . Bree," the women shouted. "Queen Bree . . . We love Queen Bree."

Bree glowed with a smug look as she slowly strutted over to Susan's motionless body and planted her sexy leg on the brunette's chest.

"Will you girls please count for me," Bree said.

"1 . . . 2 . . . 3! Yeah, Bree!" they screamed in unison.

Thrilled by her easy victory, Bree swaggered over to where Mike was standing. "How'd ya like that bit of fighting, big boy," she said while leaning over the ropes. "I have some plans for the two of us, but before that I do have to clean up this ring. Susan made such a mess with all her sweat and ripped clothing. Just give me a minute to clean up the trash." In the minute it took for Bree to leave and return to the ring, most of the other women had returned to other areas of the gym. When she returned to the ring, Bree was wearing a pair of yellow rubber gloves and carrying a bucket.

"I guess you can say that during the fight I mopped the ring with Susan," Bree said to Mike. "Now I'm really going to do it."

Bree then picked up the unconscious Susan by her ankles and stuffed her head in the bucket filled with cleaning solution. Susan immediately regained her senses as she tried to spit the foul fluids out of her mouth, but that didn't stop Bree from then using Susan's hair as a mop to clean the ring. Using plenty of elbow grease, Bree drove Susan's head into the canvas and wiped it until it shined. When she was done, she tossed Susan into a corner and laughed at her.

"You're some champion," Bree said. "Ha . . . Ha . . . Ha."

Susan was indeed destroyed. Her hair was soaked and smelled of cleaning fluid. Her body was filled with ugly bruises covered by only a bra and shredded pantyhose. Bree then motioned to one of her workers and pointed to the showcase. Not a word was said, but the worker knew what to do. In an instant, she was inside the ring, putting the golden crown on Bree's head.

"All hail Bree," she said as the redhead beamed with pride. "Bree, Queen of the Ring."

"Oh, thank you," Bree said. "You see my skinny rival, here's what a real fighting champion look like," Bree said while flexing both biceps. "And don't ever forget. Now beat it, so Mike can worship at the Temple of the Queen." Bree grabbed Susan by the hair and flung her out of the ring. Susan’s back slammed into the wall and as she slid down, her clothing got snagged on the wall hook right next to Bree's fur coat.

"Kim, be a dear and dispose of THAT, please," Bree said with a casual flick of her hand in Susan’s direction. "Mike and I want to be alone for some 'quality' time."

"My pleasure," Kim and the few remaining women took Bree's cue and headed out of the gym. Kim dragged the beaten Susan out by her hair, laughing as she walked with her fellow workers about the way Bree humiliated Susan. Once she was back in the lobby, Kim tossed Susan over her shoulder and deposited her limp body facefirst into a cart with dirty, sweaty gym clothing, laundry and wet towels.

"We can leave her there while I get my car,” Kim told the women who were already pairing off to ‘celebrate’ Bree’s victory with a lesbian love fest in the locker room. “Even more than the last bitch Bree clobbered,” Kim said. “I'm sure Bree wants me to leave THIS one tied up outside her house so everyone on Wisteria Lane can see what she did to her!"

Kim then went out a back door to get her car and the other employees grinned as they went back to their ‘celebrating’ . . . and at that moment, Julie Mayer walked in the front door to the now deserted lobby. Julie spotted the cart with a leg hanging out of it and when she walked over and looked in expecting to see another of her mother’s victims, she shrieked when she looked down and instead saw her mother.

"Mom, are you all right?" Julie said after she overturned the card and pulled Susan out. "Bree? Did Mrs. Van De Kamp did this to you?"

Unable to fully open her eyes, Susan could only mutter, "Help . . . me . . .Julie…help, help me Julie…"

"I'm sure this’ll help," said Julie who reached inside the bag she was carrying and pulled out a can of spinach. She quickly popped the top off the can and poured the contents into her mom's slack mouth. At first, Susan could barely move her jaw to chew the green wonder food but soon each chomp was quicker and more forceful than the one before. (gulp) The spinach went down Susan's throat and a second later she shot up out of the canvas cart.

"Wow," Julie gasped.

Wow oh wow, was right! The spinach did its job and the Susan that stood before Julie now was NOT the same destroyed woman who she’d pulled out of the cart minutes before. Susan's body was completely healed; no bruises; and her hair was once more perfectly styled. Her biceps were already dramatically larger and rose on her arms like mountain peaks. Her abs were as flat and hard as stone and her always impressive tits rode higher, firmer and larger than usual.

"Julie, I love you," Susan gushed. "I hope you brought that new outfit like I told you."

"I did. You…you’re actually going to wear that?" she gasped.

"You bet I am," Susan said with a wink. "I'm going to give Mike a real treat. One last thing," she continued. "While I deal with this sicko Bree, go to my gym and get all the women to come over right away. I want them to watch me pulverize this hussy."

"Whatever you say mom," Julie said.

She turned and ran out while Susan opened the bag, looked inside and giggled. Meanwhile, back in the gym, Bree was pulling off Mike's pants, marveling at the size of his penis and eagerly awaiting its chance to enter Wisteria Lane's undisputed fighting champ.

"You certainly were worth fighting for," Bree said as the redhead put her hands on her hips to lower her panties, when she was startled by the door to the gym being opened.

"I hear there's some trash in here that needs to be tossed out," came a voice.

Bree and Mike looked to saw what was causing the commotion and neither could believe what they were seeing. There, with door now closed behind her, was Susan; fists on hips and legs spread.

"Oh my God…Susan?!" Mike gasped.

Susan surely looked more yummy than ever after she traded her business suit for fighting attire - a sheer black body stocking that highlighted muscular curves and luscious legs. Held up by two small spaghetti straps over her shoulder, Susan's tits and pubic mound were barely covered by small strips of black material while the rest of her pale body shined from the black nylon material. (click . . . click . . . click) The sound of her stiletto heels on marble floor echoed as she made her way to the ring.

"No . . . no," Bree exclaimed. "This can't be! I...I demolished you."

"Now it’s my turn to return the favor," Susan said as she neared the ring apron.

"A trick! This has to be a trick," Bree muttered. "Well hon, I have a few tricks of my own." She turned and pushed a small button on a ring post. Within seconds, Kim and six other beautiful, muscular, women came racing back into the gym. Kim was nude and the others were in various states of undress. Several were breathing hard as if they’d been interrupted in the middle of something strenuous (?).

"Bree, what do you want? I can't…," Kim stopped short when she saw Susan standing outside the ring with a smug look on her face. "What…how did she…get like THIS?"

"It seems our little Suzie likes to play tricks," Bree said. "Go ahead, girls, return her to her look of a few minutes ago."

The seven women quickly circled Susan, who took a defensive posture. Kim led the charge, shouting, "Get her!" But when Kim reached an arm's length of Susan, the brunette grabbed the onrushing blonde by the hair, lifted her off the ground and spun her around, smacking each of the other workers in the head with Kim's legs. Bree's workers went flying like ten pins, landing all over the room and knocking over chairs and some tables in the back.

With six attackers KO'd, Susan returned her attention to Bree. Still holding the dazed blond Kim, Susan let her go, then began pounding her with lighting fast punches,

"That's the Susan I know and love," Mike shouted as, within seconds, Kim’s naked body was covered with bruises.

"Now you look just like your girlfriend Edie," Susan chuckled. "Here’s why I'm still the boxing champ around here." She clubbed the wobbly blonde with an uppercut that sent the KO'd Kim flying into the air, coming down in the same pile of broken chairs where Susan came to a rest less than an hour before. As the look of shock and disbelief gripped Bree's face, Susan dusted off her hands, fluffed her hair, then hopped onto the ring apron. The gorgeous brunette slowly swung a muscular, sculpted leg through the ropes into the ring, then stood tall and glared straight into Bree's green eyes.

"OK, Ms Clean Freak," Susan barked. "I'm here to mess you up. Mike, dear, clear the ring, would you; this bitch and I have some unfinished business."

"Mess me, up?" Bree retorted, the crazed look returning to her face. "You'll never mess me up. But you have made a mess in my gym again. A big mess!"

Susan saw that the redhead's body was growing as she vented about her gym being messy. It was almost as if she was eating spinach - but all she was doing was scanning the now untidy gym.

"That's it," Susan thought to herself. "Dirt and clutter are Bree's spinach. Looking at a messy room fills her with rage." The two women in the alluring outfits began walking toward each other. "I know your little trick, Bree dear," Susan said. "Seeing dirt must give you super human strength."

"Perhaps," Bree said, coyly nodding her head.

"Well I have a trick of my own and you'll need a junkyard to beat me now," Susan said.

"And what's your trick, dearie?" Bree said. "Grossing me out by stuffing that chubby body into a hideous outfit. I wouldn't go within two blocks of a whore in an outfit like that…although in your case, I'll make an exception. I'd gladly toss that clown suit - with you in it - in the trash where it belongs. Shall we wrestle?” Then Bree paused, adding, "But since I already beat you once, let's make it interesting. We'll make it a best two-of-three falls. Now unfortunately for you, I won the first fall so you’ll be at a bit of a disadvantage. But since I'm such a good sport, and it wouldn't be much fun if I just use my superior wrestling skills to pin you, let's say the second fall has to be decided by either a count out or submission. And, of course, to reward the winner, the loser of the match has to leave town and sign over her gym to the winner. Deal?"

"Let's see. I have to pin you and THEN make you submit to win and you just have to get me to submit to win, is that right?" Susan said. "Sounds like fun for me and pain for you, Red. Mike will you referee? I've got a bitch to pulverize. Let's wrestle, Bree!"

The two women crouched to renew their warfare but when Susan started to circle her foe, Bree stood erect and raised her hands. Susan had seen enough WWE matches to know this was called a test of strength.

"OK, bitch," Susan said. "We'll see who's stronger, though I know the answer." They locked hands and began exerting all of their strength in hopes of pushing the other down. Their biceps pulsated and for the first 30 seconds there was only slight movement both ways. The strain and hatred were painted on their faces as each tried to gain an edge on her opponent but, finally, it was Susan who began to slowly force Bree’s hands down. "I'm stronger, cunt!" Susan cried out triumphantly.

But as soon as she spoke, Bree dropped to her butt, pulling Susan forward as Bree's legs snapped up and forward, hammering Susan in the belly and allowing the redhead to send Susan flying into a corner with a monkey flip. Bree bounced up and saw that Susan was stunned by the turn of events. She wasted no time in charge over, grabbing Susan's arm, flinging her into the ropes and then slamming her to the mat on her back with a clothesline across Susan’s heaving bosom.

Susan was stunned. Even with spinach, Bree was still more than a match for her! As she wearily rose, she saw the redhead in a corner laughing at how easily she had floored her rival. Then Bree crooked her index finger and gestured for Susan to meet her. Susan charged and Bree prepared to hit her with another clothesline…but this time Susan ducked under, bounced off the ropes and caught Bree as she turned around in a tight bearhug.

Feeling the sting of Susan's grip around her ribs, Bree smashed Susan in the face with her elbow to break the hold, then quickly darted behind the brunette and gave her a taste of her own medicine by putting her in a reverse bear hug. Again, Susan couldn’t believe Bree's power! Her ribs aching, Susan put her own elbows to work, slamming Bree in the kisser twice to force her to break the hold.

Once free, Susan perfectly executed a snap mare that tossed Bree to the mat. Susan rushed up behind her prone foe, picked her up by her hair and then placed her knee in Bree's back and pulled back on her head. Now it was Bree's turn to marvel as her rival's strength as she felt sharp daggers of pain for the first time.

Showing remarkable wrestling skills for a boxer, Susan released the hold and pushed Bree's face into the mat as she dropped both stocking-clad knees on the redhead's bare back, eliciting another howl of pain. Susan reached forward and added to Bree's pain by locking her arm in a chicken wing. Her confidence growing by the minute, Susan stood and brought Bree to her feet, maintaining the chicken wing.

Then Bree demonstrated her own wrestling savvy by ducking and swinging around behind Susan and putting her in a chicken wing. Learning from Bree's move, Susan used the same tactic to break free only after a few seconds of twisting. She released Bree's arm and smashed the redhead with a forearm to the back. Then Susan reached down to pull Bree up by the hair, but her redheaded neighbor hit her with two solid uppercuts to Susan’s flat abs.

Mike winced at the blows, but Susan shook them off and again belted Bree with a forearm to the back. This time when Bree went down, Susan backpedaled to the ropes behind her and used their spring to send her hurtling forward. She leaped over Bree and ran to the ropes again and as she was catapulted back, she leaped over Bree a second time. But this time on her return trip, she kicked the redhead in the ribs.

Susan picked Bree up and tossed her into the ropes. Bree came off by turning to her side and hitting Susan with a shoulder block. Certain the blow would floor her opponent, Bree was stunned when she found Susan to be an immovable object. Knocked to the mat, Bree looked up at Susan who was standing over her smiling.

"No one's ever done that me," Bree said. "You dirty little bitch."

"No one?" Susan replied. "Hell, then let's try it again, shall we!"

She picked Bree up by the hair, then pulled her head down and kneed her in the face. As Bree squirmed in pain, Susan ran into the ropes and on her way back, knocked Bree down with a shoulder block. Though dazed, Bree's instincts allowed her to rise - just in time to be hit by a flying shoulder block. In more of a fog than ever, Bree rose again, but she never saw the shapely black nylon-clad leg rocketing toward her. Bree couldn’t defend herself as Susan's spin kick hit the side of her head and knocked her out of the ring in a flurry of flailing legs and arms. While Bree struggled to get back to her feet fuming mad, Susan dropped to one knee in the center of the ring and flexed her biceps in a show of power.

"Oh, wow!" Mike moaned in delight.

Bree was still slamming the ring apron in frustration when a door swung opened and a brigade of Susan's friends and students came barreling in and raced to the ring.

"Way to go, Sue!" Carol shouted as she and the others settled into ringside seats. "Looks like another hussy is getting what she deserves!"

"We'll see about that," Bree shouted as she looked around the room. "Just look at this mess you made. Why you..." The redhead then pushed a button on the outside of a ring post and shouted into what looked like a speaker box, "Girls, get in here!"

Impatient, Susan was in no mood to wait for Bree to re-enter the ring, so she dove out of it and chased Bree, who moved away and then slid back into the ring. Susan followed, but Bree was too quick, already regaining her feet near the ropes before Susan climbed in. Bree met Susan with a sharp kick to the ribs, then twice more she booted Susan, who let out a painful cry. Susan's friends were startled by the turn of events as, from the other side of the room, Bree's students came racing in with a loud cheer. Susan writhed on the canvas in pain while Bree took the opportunity to address her troops.

"Ladies, I'd love for you see what's going to happen to this wimp," Bree said. “But then I'm sure you’d rather have fun of your own so go wake up your teachers and show those skinny Minnie’s over there how to fight. Kick their asses!"

Bree's hussies let out another cheer and slowly began to mill around their teachers, slapping them back into consciousness. Kim revived first and when she saw Bree standing over Susan and the shocked women in Angels tee-shirts on the other side of the room, she knew what to do.

"C'mon, let's get 'em," Kim said. Bree's women slowly moved forward as Susan's girls sheepishly started to back toward the exits.

The redhead taunted Susan, "Now it looks as if you and your girls are going to get an ass kicking. GET ‘EM GIRLS!"

In a matter of seconds, Bree's girls descended on the angels with a wild melee breaking out. Bree's wrestlers squared off against Susan's boxers with Carol and Kim facing each other in a furious exchange of blows.

The pace was much slower in the ring where Bree was merrily gloating while Susan was on her knees, rubbing her sore battered ribs. Bree gave Susan another powerful boot to the ribs, this time opening a slight tear in Susan's body stocking and then kicked her in the butt, shoving her face into the canvas. The redheaded bully continued her assault, grabbing Susan by her ankles and turning her to her back. She then spread the brunette's legs and began raining kicks down on the back of Susan's legs.

As Bree cackled with delight, Susan's spirits sagged like a deflated balloon. She could not believe how spinach didn't save her. Bree was still too strong and powerful for her. She wondered if she needed more spinach to match Bree's source of power, but as the pain in her ravaged legs grew she soon felt more hopeless than ever before. Bree finally eased her attack on Susan's legs, only to roll Susan over onto her stomach so she could apply a brutal Boston Crab. Susan felt as her if her body was about to snap in two as Susan exerted all of her might into the hold.

"C'mon, Suzy," Bree shouted out. "Say you quit. Say Mike's Bree’s man now."

Susan was about to blurt out her surrender when she saw a look of dismay on Mike's face. She could see that Mike truly wanted her to win. Inspired by the support of her man, she forced out the words, "N....o, no, I'll never to you."

"Have it your way," Bree said, "I'll just knock you out cold."

Bree then released the hold and viciously yanked Susan up by the hair and flung her into a corner. Bree quickly smacked her in the throat with several chops as tears began flowing from Susan's eyes. As Susan gasped for air, Bree grabbed her again and threw her down so that Susan's throat rested on the bottom rope. With a crazed shout of glee, Bree jumped on Susan's neck, her body weight choking the brunette against the rope.

"Now this is some sight," Bree said with an arrogant air. "These women are making a mess and I hate a sloppy room. Yet I love what I'm seeing. All of my hussies are overwhelming your so-called Angels. What a marvelous sight! Don't you just love it, Sue, my dear?" Susan's bawling only grew worse as she saw that every one of her Angels was absorbing a beating. The perfect world Susan had worked so hard to build was falling apart and there was nothing she could do about it! "Well, I'd just love to sit and chat my skinny little punching bag, but it's about time we finish this match so I can resume making love with that marvelous Mike Delfino," Bree said.

Bree got off Susan, then scooped her up, lifted her onto her shoulders and instantly went into a furious airplane spin and hurled Susan out of the ring like a rocket. The brunette landed with a splat on a solid oak table along the back wall, splattering all of the food and drinks on it except for one lone, single quiche. Susan was barely conscious and couldn't see straight. But she heard the frightening sound of Bree's heels clicking on the floor as she slowly approached her prey.

"Ladies, all eyes over here," she said as she reached the table. "I'm now going to finish off this panty waist and I want you all to watch." With wild looks on their faces, Bree's hussies turned the heads of each Angel so that she had a ringside seat for the end of the main event. "Susan, you made another mess, you sad little slut," Bree said, shaking her index finger at the helpless brunette. "But never let it be said I'm not polite even with bad little girls like you. Here have some quiche before you go sleepy time for the day."

A chuckling Bree, then grabbed the quiche with one hand and lifted Susan's head with a fistful of hair. She shoved the quiche under Susan's face, then slammed her head down, smashing her face into the gooey, yellow-green mess! "I said EAT!" Bree roared as he leaped in the air for a scissors kick that struck Susan in the back of the head with the force of an anvil, knocking the boxer out and shoving the quiche into her open mouth.

"Now, ladies, this how you win by count out," Bree said she grabbed Susan's hand and lifted it up. "Once your opponent's arm is lifted and drops three times, she's out. It goes like this..." She lifted Susan's hand in the air, let go of it and smiled as it immediately dropped limp. "That's one," Bree said with a smug smile.

Bree was certain of victory. But was she? Perhaps if she had known Susan's secret, she never would have given her some spinach and broccoli quiche. But her ignorance would soon prove costly. As she lifted Susan's hand a second time, the brunette instinctively began to chew the quiche in her mouth. Susan woke up in an instant as the food went down her throat. Detecting the spinach, Susan began chewing and swallowing furiously.

'Two," Bree said as Susan's arm dropped again. "And now for three." She again raised Susan's arm and dropped it. Like before, the arm started toward the ground but when it was face-level with Bree it came to a halt. Susan's fingers slowly curled into a fist, then her middle finger shot up in the ultimate act of defiance. "WHAT!" Bree shouted in disbelief.

With Bree's eyes focused on the "Fuck you!" sign from Susan and she never saw Susan's shapely legs swing off the table. The brunette slammed Bree with a vicious kick to the side of the head that sent her backpedaling to the ring apron. As Bree shook her head to regain her senses, Susan grabbed her by the hair and rolled her into the ring.

"It's time to settle this, bitch. We'll see who's the Queen of the Ring in this town," Susan shouted.

The brunette quickly followed Bree into the ring, knowing her formula for victory was to use this second boost from spinach to knock all of the dirt-induced power out of the devious Bree. The swing in momentum also caught Bree's hussies off guard as Susan's crew used the distraction to break free of the holds they were in and start pounding their foes. In the ring, Susan felt stronger than ever as she confidently jumped to her feet, but Bree was already up and charging at her.

"No more fooling around, skinny!" Bree said as the two women ran toward each other. Bree reared back to fire a punch at the on-rushing brunette but she wasn't quick enough for as Bree was still winding up, Susan hammered a shot to Bree's jaw, knocking the redhead backward and startling her.

"Let your lips suck on THAT, skank," Susan muttered through gritted teeth.

"What was that?" Bree thought to herself.

The redhead growled out "Screw you!" and fired back a punch that knocked Susan back a step as her head swiveled sideways.

"That's more like it," Bree thought.

But any momentum Bree was hoping to build hit a brick wall when Susan turned her head and tossed her hair to reveal a teasing smile.

"You'll have to do better than that if you want to beat a boxing champ, honey," she said. "Such as THIS!" She uncorked a punch that sent Bree backwards two steps and sent her hair flying as if a hurricane was passing through. Shocked at Susan's new-found strength, Bree hit Susan again. This time Susan stood her ground, displaying no sign Bree’s punch hurt.

"That punch was weaker than the last one," Susan thought. "My punches are wearing her down."

Her confidence bouyed, Susan gritted her teeth and fired another punch that rocked Bree and sent her hair flying furiously. Hurt by the punch, Bree couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"She was weak. She was beaten. What happened?" Bree mustered all of her strength and wound up for another punch, determined to take command of the fight. A shocked look gripped her face, however, when her arm came to a rigid halt. Bree's arm had run smack into a cement wall, namely Susan's forearm. While Bree stared in disbelief at how her arm could not budge Susan's, the brunette giggled for a second and then snarled.

"Is that all you got, bitch?" Susan said as she tore into the redhead. First she clobbered Bree with a right that blackened her eye. Then she bent Bree's nose with a powerful left and added a hard jab to the jaw that left a moaning Bree bent in half and sagging in a corner. "Oh, I hope I didn't hurt the big, bad bully," Susan said, mimicking a child's voice. Bree had never felt such awesome punches and Susan was far from done. "Bree, I am so sorry. You'll just have to forgive me for forgetting it's a wrestling match and punching the crap out of you. I believe a chop would have been more appropriate," Susan said, giving Bree a series of tomahawk chops to the throat.

Whap . . . whap . . . whap!

Bree could feel the strength being sapped from her by Susan's blows and was becoming more dispirited with each chop. Sexy Sue, on the other hand, was growing in strength and confidence as she saw Bree's body beginning to shrink from the beating it was absorbing. She was indeed beating all of Bree's enhanced strength out of her.

"I feel weak," Bree muttered softly, her head sagging as she held on to the top rope to keep from falling.

Knowing her spinach was working, Susan went into overdrive. "That's too bad. I feel strong, tootsie," Susan said. "Guess my secret's better than yours."

She rocked Susan with two hard chops to the breast and mid-section and then grabbed her by her hair. She pulled her down for what looked like a monkey flip. But Susan held on to her opponent and rolled with her, coming to a rest with her knees holding Bree down in a perfect school girl pin. Susan then added to Bree's misery by repeatedly slamming her head into the mat and bombarding her with a blizzard of punches to the face that left welts and bruises on her once perfect skin. Bree screamed in pain as she tried to escape, but she was unable to defend herself. After a minute-long onslaught, the trapped Bree felt her strength flowing out of her like a shattered dam.

Susan, meanwhile, called on Mike to tap her hated neighbor out. "Let's even this match, shall we, honey."

"Anything you say, champ," Mike said. "1-2-3," he shouted as he slapped the canvas three times. The falls were now tied at 1-1 and glow on Susan's face as she stood and victoriously raised her arms, contrasted with the welts on Bree's face and body, told the story of who was in command of this heated fight.

"Now we'll finish this," Susan said, lifting Bree up by her pearl necklace with such force that the necklace broke, scattering pearls all over the ring.

"My . . . necklace . . . you messed . . ." Before Bree could say another word, Susan smashed her with a right to the face that erased any of the energy Bree was hoping to find.

"Shut up, bitch," Susan said. "You're not so tough anymore are you, hussy?" Bree's red hair was now as sweaty and wet as Susan's was when it was dumped in the bucket of detergent and her cloudy vision featured more stars than the Milky Way. Her body quivered as she realized that not even debris in the ring could help her. "Boy are you a mess," Susan taunted her foe. Then she made matters worse for Bree by hitting her with two left-right combinations to the jaw and two more to the chest. Then, with the speed of a race car's pistons, she pumped killer hooks into Bree's suddenly soft mid-section.

BAM . . . WHAP . . . BOOM . . . BIF!! Bree was virtually out on her feet, but Susan wasn't ready to stop. She grabbed the redhead by her thong and with a powerful tug ripped off her panty and tights, spinning Bree like a top. When the dizzy redhead finally stopped swirling, she looked down, saw her exposed womanhood and began bawling like a baby.

"You can't do tights," Bree sobbed.

"We'll at least we can all see that you're a REAL redhead," Susan chuckled. She tossed the ripped tights to Mike and said, "Here's a little souvenir that should remind you my love of who's the best fighter in town."

Bree tried to cover her pubic area, but that only gave Susan an opportunity to grab her hair, pull her head down and bloody her nose with a knee to the face.

"This can't be happening," Bree screamed as she fell back holding her bleeding nose.

As the reeling Bree wiped the blood from her nose, Susan grabbed her arm and tossed her in the ropes. The spent redhead bounced off and was greeted by a snap kick to the jaw from Susan's shinny black legs that lifted Bree off her feet. She did a back flip, her stomach landing on the top rope which, unfortunately for Bree, propelled her right back toward a very smug Susan. As Bree helplessly approached, Susan merely ducked under her and then rose up for a devastating back body drop that lifted Bree 10 feet into the air. Her back hit the canvas with an impact that sound like a crack of thunder. Her eyes grew wide as pain gripped her body.

Moving with expert precision, Susan picked up Bree and executed a devastating suplex that left the wrestler motionless on the mat. Continuing her assault, Susan climbed to the top rope, waved at Mike and launched into a moonsault, landing with spectacular force on Bree's mid-section. As her prone foe wailed in pain, Susan simply laid back on Bree's body. Susan's long black hair dangled on the mat as her back rested on Bree's stomach. Susan's firm, rounded tits looked like twin peaks of the Rockies as she lay there. Then she started blowing kisses at Mike and raising and massaging her shiny legs to excite him beyond belief.

Mike couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Here was his woman, showing off like a stripper in incredibly sexy lingerie while her fabulous body was draped over a battered woman with a black eye whose face and body were covered with ugly bruises. It was a dream come true for a catfight lover.

"Suzy, Suzy, Suzy," he moaned.

Susan again yanked Bree up by the hair and vigorously slapped her until her eyes opened. "This is no time for a nap, Bree, dear," Susan said. "I want you to see this."

Susan whipped Bree's head around the ring so she could see an extraordinary sight. All of the Angels were standing proudly over KO'd hussies. Except for one. As Susan continued to twirl around the boss of the wrestlers, Bree spotted Kim at the apron. The blonde's face was badly battered. Yet there she was, leaning on the ring apron while looking straight ahead with a seemingly blank stare.

"KIM…help me!" Bree shouted. That thought melted away when Bree watched Kim's eyes close and her head fall onto the apron.

"Sorry, for interrupting, ladies," said Carol as she yanked Kim up by the air. "I didn't think she'd sail this far when I belted her. Now you get back over there, blondie." Carol smashed the last of Bree's crew with an uppercut that sent Kim crashing into chairs at the back row of the gym. Then as she strutted away, Bree slowly began muttering, "A mess . . . there's a mess."

WHAM! If there was any chance of Bree's hulking up again, Susan's knocked it out of her with a brutal punch to the gut.

"Now where we?" Susan muttered as she looked into Bree's red, tear-filled eyes. "Oh, yes, we had a fight to finish."

Susan quickly grabbed Bree by the throat, lifted her off the ground and then tossed her into her canvas for an awe-inspiring choke-slam. Ready to finish the bully off, Susan reached down and grabbed Bree's naked legs, flipped her over and applied a brutal Boston Crab on the wrestler.

"Ooooow!" Bree screamed.

"I believe you called this a Boston Crab? Anytime you want to quit, my dear overmatched hussy, just shout it out who's the Queen of the Ring on Wisteria Lane," Susan said.

Susan's biceps rippled as she applied even more pressure to Bree's bent body and her perfectly rounded tits strained to break through the nylon body stocking. Mike was in awe as he watched the heavenly contortion of Susan's body that was framed so perfectly by the shiny black lingerie. He could have watched Susan in that position for hours. But it only lasted few more seconds.

Whimpering, Bree finally blurted, "I . . . I . . . I give. I give. Susan Meyer is the Queen of the Ring on Wisteria Lane. You've beaten me. Please stop. I can't take any more."

Susan dropped the beaten Bree's legs and heard a loud roar from the crowd. There was a neon smile on Susan's face as she bowed and soaked in the applause from her Angels. Then she turned around and saw Mike rushing into the ring.

"Susan! Susan! You were magnificent!" he said.

The embraced for a passionate kiss as the Angels began chanting "Susan . . . Susan!"

When the two lovers came up for air, Susan heard moans from the other side of the ring. She saw that Bree was trying to crawl away.

"I'll be right back," she said as she walked toward her beaten opponent. Before Bree could slip out of the ropes, Susan grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to her feet. "Well, hussy, I think we now know who runs this town, don't we?" Susan said sternly.

"Yes, you do, Susan. Please don't hurt me," Bree begged.

"Oh, I wouldn't hurt you, Bree. In fact, I'm going to help you close up this gym once and for all by removing all of the trash from the ring."

'Trash?" Bree said.

"Yes, trash," Susan said. "Specifically…you, you bitch."

Susan then put all of her strength into an uppercut that sent Bree into orbit like a rocket. Her head went through the ceiling of the gym with so much force that it rained chunks of plaster down on the seats around the ring. Susan and Mike laughed as Bree dangled from the ceiling, her body exposed only from the shoulders down as her head was trapped in the rafters of the building.

Then they howled as the ceiling cracked a few seconds later and Bree crashed back down and landed on her trophy case, smashing it and sending her crown flying in the air. Mike looked up and deftly caught it.

"Here's where this belongs, champ," Mike said as he put the crown on Susan's head. "You are surely this town's ultimate fighting woman."

"Yes, I guess she won't be using the crown anymore," Susan said, pointing to the unconscious Bree whose nearly naked body was completely covered with gray dust from the collapsed ceiling. "Ladies, it's time to close this place down. Put those hussies, including their leader over there, in those linen carts and wheel them over to the dumpsters out back. These bitches are out of business!"

Mike wrapped his arms around Susan and felt a euphoric sensation as he slowly rubbed the nylon on her curvy body.

"Shall we head to dinner," Susan said with a wink.

"How about we skip dinner and just head home," Mike replied.

"Sounds delicious to me," she said.

Susan and Mike started walking arm-in-arm out of the gym as her Angels applauded their leader on her hard-earned victory. Susan acknowledged the cheers as they approached the door.

"I hope you won't be cold in that outfit," Mike said.

Susan's eyes darted to a clothes hook on the wall. Then, her hand moving quicker than a magician's, she snatched up Bree's fur coat. "I'm sure this will keep my body warm on the ride home," Susan said as she put on the luxurious coat and headed out the door. "Since she ruined my suit, taking this makes us even. Guess poor Bree learned the hard way that there's more than one way to skin a catfighter - and go home with her fur."

The two lovers laughed as they walked out of the gym after yet another long and hard day for Susan - and Mike. But as they turned down the sidewalk toward Mike's car, a pair of dark, flashing eyes watched from the shadows......

Continue to Desperate Housewives #3 (if/when it's ever written)