DVD Collection #16 The Gamines: Eva Longoria vs. Kelly Ripa (Apt. Wrestling) by simguy

Box front: Eva in white silk bandeau-bra and panties lingerie w/black lace trim; arms crossed, vamping it up with pursed lips for the camera. Shoulder-length hair loose. Opposite her, Kelly in black push up and panties w/white lace trim; arms crossed, cool expression (chin tilted up, all high-cheekboned haughtiness) and slick blonde ponytail.

Back of the box: "Daytime legends Kelly and Eva square off to see who's REALLY got the primetime goods. 106 pounds of coiled-spring fury apiece - it's gamine-class scrapping at it's cattiest!Ē

Special Features include:
- In depth interviews with common opponents Kelly Monaco, Vanessa Marcil, Sarah Michelle Gellar - intercut with highlights of Kelly and Eva's several battles. Picks and predictions (interviews conducted pre-fight!)
- Interviews with Kelly and Eva; discussing each other and the state of the 106 pound class with it's crop of young ingenue up-and-comers (both mature gamines give more respect for one another than for the Kreukís, Carterís and Bellís!)

Random Scene Selections:

Scene 2: Girls standing - Ripa on the right of your screen, enjoying life behind a tormented Eva (left). Kelly's got Eva by her elbows, pulling Latina arms back - grinning, happy blonde going to work at her leisure with knees to Eva's high, tight buttocks, and even thudding headbutts in between the shoulder-blades. Longoria pouting and blurting out sobs of complaint - staggering around all frowning and controlled, tossing her head back to screech in pain when she's struck, struggling to pull her arms free. Kelly's ponytail tossing side to side - big, hammy grin - just being in control and loving it.

Scene 3: Girly-girl punching - vixens with fists balled at chests, eyes blazing - taking turns stabbing out straight, pushy lefts and rights into one another's chests and arms. Flighty stuff - both girls gritting their teeth, whimpering at the bright, brisk back and forth spank - neither standing her ground too long - both disengaging and scowling from hurt before stepping in again. Hilarious when a straight-thrusting Eva left skids off Kelly's raised right arm and punches into Ripa's mouth: Kelly momentarily startled, then absolutely furious - Eva momentarily panicked, scampers away with Ripa in hot pursuit! Wriggling little bodies galloping around the room, across the bed - pantied backsides all a-jiggle. Ripa finally corrals Eva at the wall - blonde left hand grabbing brunette about her slender right bicep: Kelly slaps Eva's face righty, then plugs a playground-style right hand into Eva's firm tummy, then slaps her righty again! Eva mouth open, eyebrows high, eyes closed as she's bullied: Ripa snarling, lips curled back as she takes it to Longoria. Kelly giving Eva a good shake with that grip on the arm, really jostling Longoria, then shouting, "You want more in the tummy? HERE!" Little plugging right hand on brown belly forces a bleat of pain out of scolded Eva.

Scene 4: Eva overwhelmed, distraught - here she's on her back on the bed, all spread out upon bronze colored silk sheets. Kelly frisky as a puppy, jumps up on the bed, beaming all the way - couple of bounces, then she dives across Eva's wriggling brown little midriff, splashing her flat! Longoria groaning, "UHHHH!" under the sudden shocking weight - chin up, head tilted back. Ripa just can't wipe the smile off her face, propping on her elbows to grin into the crowd, then pushing up off Eva to stand once again. Kelly bouncing, grinning down - Eva hugging her body - she manages to roll onto her right side just as Ripa's plunging down knees first - blonde taking brunette in her hip and leftside ribs, skidding awkwardly off. Sobs from Eva as she huddles in a fetal ball on her side - really getting her ass kicked at this point. Good times for Kelly - she scrambles up, bouncing on the bed, ponytail tossing, breasts keeping time - she's jumping to different angles, then looking to plunge down with her knees as Eva bawls in distress.

Scene 5: Eva stumbling away from Kelly, but brunette fighting down her panic as blonde walks her down, fists balled at her hips. Midroom - Longoria lifts a swinging right foot up between Kelly's trim legs, taking blonde in her tenderest portions: Eva's arms up over her head, eyes blazing. Kelly gasping - head tossing back, face constricted, hands up at her shoulders - she cramps up, brought to a shabby halt as Longoria lips her lips, taking the moment to catch her breath before going over to offense.

Scene 6: Good pursuit from Eva to follow up the low blow - she goes at Kelly's body with swinging lefts and rights underneath, flapping straight-arm punches into Ripa and doubling her over. Kelly hurting, arms crossed against her ribs and tummy - she finally goes butt-against-wall, frowning in pain. Eva working from just off Kelly's left shoulder - Latina places a stabilizing right hand flat upon Kelly's shiny lower back, left hand lightly gripping back of Kelly's neck - then it's knee-lifts to Kelly's breadbasket. Ripa cringing, cramping up - she's taking the blows against her arms, but it's still concussive shock. Longoria up and in, up and in with her left knee, taking Kelly again and again in her body until Ripa finally crumples to her haunches at the wall.

Scene 9: Scrambling action sees Kelly sit up on the edge of the bed - Longoria sprawled brown belly-down across blonde lap. Kelly: left forearm firm across Eva's lower back, stabilizing wriggling Latina; Kelly's right leg loosely wrapped around behind Eva's right knee. Kelly going to town on Longoria's toned little backside - Ripa just beaming, right hand clapping flat, pasting silk panties with bright, batting blows. Eva: hair disheveled, propped up on her elbows on the bed to Kelly's left side - Longoria mouth open in stunned denial, eyebrows high, eyes closed as for a moment, she belongs body and soul to the hated blonde.

Scene 11: Lissome bodies entwined as girls wrap each other tight up top, cheek to cheek, chest on chest as they roll across the carpet. Absolutely ineffectual, but SO crowd-pleasing: limber legs thrashing to turn the other girl over; knees digging for leverage in carpet; svelte hips gulping, grinding; flat tummies squirming, straining button to button. The SOUND! Squealing, yelping, gasping, grunting and growling. Both girls have each other wrapped up so secure up top, it's all up to their lower bodies. Eventually, they hit wall - Eva on top, Kelly underneath - we see the left side of Eva's face, her eyes steely with concentration as she relaxes. Longoria brings her left knee up tight beneath her, preventing Kelly from turning off the wall: Ripa scissors up Eva's tanned, shaved right leg to make sure Eva can't mount up. Bellies breathing in and out against each other - Longoria shifting, making little adjustments, just holding Kelly down - real tactical clinching here as girls finally show some veteran sensibility. After several minutes, a frustrated and tiring Kelly snuggles in close to bite her teeth in on the rightside join between Eva's neck and shoulder. Longoria howling, then snuggling to bite into Kelly's right shoulder. Stalemate, girls just screaming with mouths full of opponent, bodies rigid with outrage - crowd roaring in approval. Eventually, both abandon the mutually destructive tactics, faces stressed, tears welling.

Scene 22: later stages of the fight - both vixens badly worn down after a very up-tempo, energetic struggle. Here, on the carpet, Eva's on her back, stunned, eyes frowned shut, unhappy mouth open. Kelly's on her hands and knees looming over top her prone opponent. Ripa brutal, deliberate - balling up her little right fist and punching methodically down into brunette chest and tummy. One shot at a time - Kelly's exhausted herself, no longer grinning wildly - now she's grimly determined to bludgeon Longoria into submission. Eva blubbering, twitching as her chest is knuckled, cringing and cramping up when her smooth tummy is violated. She rolls over to her right side, hugging at herself, moaning: Kelly patiently uses her right hand to push Eva back-flat again, taking the time to position Eva before administering further abuse. Longoria absorbing mindlessly - without opening her eyes, she lifts her legs, placing her feet flat against Kelly's hip flexors and simply shoves the blonde away HUP!. Kelly seated to the left of your screen with her back to you, panting, leaning weight on her right hand as left hand wipes her open mouth. Eva shuddering with tears, on her back, hands fussing about her tanned tummy - she's just trying to rally.

Scene 23: Hardhearted Eva takes it to Kelly. Ripa sitting up pretty on the edge of the bed - her right arm loose around Eva's lower back, her left hand pressed on the bed's edge. Eva to Kelly's right - Eva's left knee braced on the bed, standing with her right foot still on the carpet - Longoria's got her left arm crooked tight around Kelly's neck, pulling right side of blonde's head into brunette left breast, and Eva's punching poor Kelly's drowsy face. Little, tapping right hands - just arm punching - Eva thin-lipped as she peppers away, her eyes never leaving Kelly's upturned face. Ripa's eyes closed, right cheek smudged into tanned Latina breast, mouth open - she's just facing into the blows as though it's a refreshing summer rain. Kelly's supporters off-camera shrill: they want the fight stopped.

(Sound): bright crack, crack, crack - no more than pitty-pat contact, but it's got Kelly in stupor. Hard core Longoria fan shouts, "Punch her in the mouth, Eveyyyyy!" Eventually, Kelly reaches dimly up with her left hand, clutching at Eva's right wrist. Longoria struggles to pull her punching hand free - Kelly sleepy, held tight against Latina breast as she mindlessly hand-wrestles with Eva.

Scene 24: Not enough leverage on the punches - Longoria too fearful of hurting her hand: she abandons the attack, wrestling Kelly up onto the bed instead. Eva straddles Kelly, sitting on blonde tummy, then leans forward, her left hand taking Ripa's slender left wrist, pushing it hard against Kelly's breast. Eva slaps Kelly - a big, clapping right hand, limber weight into the blow, taking Kelly across her left cheek, tossing her head to the side. Kelly groaning, head lolling back into position - she's just facing up at Eva, lips parted, eyelashes fluttering.




Kelly's so out of it, her right arm lies at her side as she soaks up punishment, her hand brushing at Eva's shiny left knee.



Eva's eyes so hard, lips pressed tight. No mercy here for Kelly.


Eva sits back into smooth curve of Kelly's tummy, looking Ripa over. Mission accomplished: Ripa's spellbound.

Ripa thoroughly worn down, eyelashes fluttering - she's easy to pose on her back, only dimly resisting Eva at this point. Longoria taking a moment to position Kelly's arms at her side - blonde's head lolling side to side, eyebrows in a stunned little frown. Longoria stands on the bed, eyes pitiless - one bounce and she splashes down across Kelly's lithe chassis. Pathetic, gutwrenching sob "OHHHHHH!" from Kelly as her legs spasm up, head tilts back, her body accepting the full impact of Eva's limber weight. Off camera, crowd groaning in sympathy: they know quit when they hear it/see it.

Eva sits back on her haunches, hands on her knees, licking her lips as sleepy Kelly rolls on her right side, arms hugging her gut - blonde showing her back to brunette without realizing how submissive she's being. Job of work for Eva to slap her hands hip and shoulder on Kelly, pulling her back-down once again. More fumbling to pull Kelly's hands away from her body, pushing Kelly's knees back down - poor Ripa all eyes closed, out of it, mouthing incoherent protests as Eva stands cold-eyed. Panty adjustment, one bounce: another 106 pound big splash, Eva to Kelly SMEK!

More fumbling to sort Kelly out, get her on her back, expose her torso, then Eva methodically up, splashing back down all lithe and toned. SMEK!

Kelly can't do anything about this - she's helpless - too helpless to even surrender, her limbs just mechanically trying to roll her on her side and hug at her hurt. Eva won't have it - grimly sorting Kelly out, then looking for more.




FINALLY, audience has had enough - linebacker size tuxedoed gent (his face blurred on my copy of the DVD!) pulls Eva away, lifting her gently off the bed from behind, massive hands holding her ribs like lifting a puppydog. She's just groggily staring at limp blonde, unable to take her eyes off Ripa's still form, fretting a little at the restraining grip preventing her from helping herself to even more Kelly goodness.