DVD Collection #31: Jordana Brewster vs. Sarah Carter (Apartment Wrestling) by simguy

Back Cover: “Over the years, Jordana Brewster made several attempts to unseat Jessica Alba to assume the throne as Hollywood's foremost ingénue...all with heartbreaking results. Thrown back time and again, the industrious brunette looked to regain traction with a new 'small woman' strategy - fighting useful, but under gunned, blondes in hopes of rebuilding her credibility. Sarah Carter followed successful Brewster campaigns against Sarah Michelle Gellar and sporty Kristen Bell - confident in the belief her legs separated her from the rest of Jordana's hand-picked targets.”

(Blurb) "If she fights me the way she fought them; I'll clean the apartment floor with her!" Sarah Carter, BLONDE!
"She kicks me, and I'll punch her; I get her on the floor and I'll grind her down!" Jordana Brewster, Vogue.

Front Cover: Sarah in gold bikini, long ponytail; bangs framing her face and a golden-brown tan. Jordana in satin-finish, midnight blue, bikini; loose black hair with bangs; her tan slightly darker than Sarah’s.

Extra Features:
- Alternate soundtrack w/Kelly Ripa narrative describing action ‘play-by-play’ style, including her reactions.
- Alternate soundtrack w/both fighters narratives including strategy, tactics, and analysis.
- Bra-cam. Experimental button-size ‘spy cam’ shows first half of match(*) from fighters viewpoint. (*Equipment failure)
* * * *
Scene One
: Camera slowly pans to show a luxury New York, hi-rise Penthouse…lens extends to show the view of Central Park through long white drapes. Floor covered with several white, faux-fur, throws over plush carpet. Around the walls, upon well-upholstered sofas, sit arrayed the creme-de-la-creme of NY who’s who: Kelly Ripa with husband Marc; Regis and Joy Philbin; Ivanka Trump and a nameless Broadway chorus girl; The Donald and blonde d’jour; Equus’ star Daniel Radcliffe with date Emma Watson. Katie Holmes; Uma Thurman and Nicole Kidman were also recognizable.

Scene Three: When Sarah Carter stepped into her kick to Jordana's body, and her slender left shin cracked hard against tanned ribs, everyone figured it would be over quick. Brewster buckled with a cry, her face distraught: Sarah's long blonde ponytail bounced as she shifted weight to pound her right forearm in across Brewster's chest, sending the brunette reeling. Carter leapt forward - the gold bikini clinging to her springy breasts and buttocks - she was driving in on Jordana all legs a-lashing. Everyone had seen this before, knew that Sarah could kick girls into defeat almost before they'd warmed up. The penthouse crowd hooted at Jordana's collapse: if they couldn't have a back-and-forth war-of-attrition, at least they could have a one-sided massacre.

Scene Four: Jordana regained balance, punched an awkward left hand out as Sarah plowed in - the blonde lifting her left knee into brunette ribs as Brewster's blow grazed chin. Hopping onto her left foot, Sarah torqued her lissome frame, bringing that sleek right foot up hard from in close, kicking Jordana in above her left hip, connecting with shin on meat. The blonde ponytail danced, punctuating the violence: Sarah planted on her right foot, bringing the left up into the hated body, the shin again cracking against the bone of Jordana's ribcage. As she hopped and kicked - Sarah's fists were raised, almost daintily bent back to reveal her wrists.

Scenes Five & Six: Brewster gave way - stumbling backward with a stricken expression - hitting the wall standing up and panting. Sarah prowled close, then jumped up - driving the point of her knee into Jordana's breasts while reaching for the back of Brewster's head. Pulling Jordana's head down, Sarah leaned into her larger foe while sliding her right leg back, then pumped the right knee up into straining brunette midsection. Carter's eyes were hard, her lips set in a tight line: this was how she finished girls - kneeing and kicking them into stupor. But Jordana wouldn't have it!! Sobbing aloud, the midnight blue bikini'd brunette reached 'round her tormentress' ribs, driving forward with stomping footwork that shredded her thighs into sinewy relief, and showed the muscular power of her backside.

Scene Seven: Sarah staggered back to keep her balance, eyes suddenly wide with confusion. Locked in a loose embrace, the girls sprawled upon the nearby emperor-sized bed - the white sheets providing a soft, bright backdrop for the squirming, tanned bodies on top, the girls reaching for each other's hair.

Scene Eight: Squealing; legs thrashing; bodies writhing; each straining to force the other onto her back. Brewster proved stronger tummy-to-tummy, wrestling her way atop Sarah; Carter grimacing as she wraps her legs around Jordana's hips; arms over-under Jordana's left shoulder/right arm. In the blonde's guard, the brunette steadied herself, slowing her movements, wriggling atop the smaller woman to bring her weight to bear as they settled in for a long, slow grapple.

Scene Ten: Grunting, Sarah gulped her hips; squeezed and pushed with her legs - trying to work out from under Jordana. From up top - Jordana's knees dug into the bed covers; left cheek in close to Sarah's; working her right elbow down inside the blonde's restraining left arm. Lips pursed with effort, Brewster was often able to break Carter's hand-grip, but the blonde was fresh and quick - scrambling to re-secure her over-under clasp; s-gripped hands joined together between Jordana's shoulder blades. In quiet moments of intense concentration - Jordana would stuff left-hand punches into Sarah's helpless ribs. Hardly fight-winning blows, but they proved Jordana was aggressive, willing to work - and willing to invest incrementally in Sarah's eventual defeat.

Scene Twelve: Carter eventually worked her knees up high on Jordana's ribcage, breaking guard to put the right foot at Brewster's left hip, and with a breathy whine of exertion, blonde foot-shoved brunette off the bed and onto carpet. Scrambling - Jordana rose quickly, eyes blazing...but Sarah had already rolled away to disengage and regroup. Carter's chest heaved as she circled back into the cleared carpet-space, glaring over her left shoulder at Jordana while sorting out golden bottoms with a practiced flick of elegant index fingers. Jordana's eyes narrowed as she stalked her blonde. You could hear the girls breathing as the crowd noise abated in anticipation of renewed hostilities.

Scene Fifteen: Carter was loose, relaxed in space. As Jordana approached - Sarah lifted her left leg and front-kicked the brunette in her stomach, almost casually pushing her away. Circling to the left, Sarah suddenly stepped in, kicking her right foot to Jordana's shining left thigh with bright, crisp clap. Brewster winced, but continued to advance, determined to be the big-girl in this fight.

Scene Eighteen: After prodding front and slapping kicks to Jordana's left leg - Brewster found her range with the right hand, deliberately taking a kick on her thigh for the chance to drive through a punch to Sarah's chin. Blonde ponytail swished as Sarah's head jerked: her legs shimmied and stutter-stepped, and before she could regroup, Jordana was upon her. Slender bodies hit carpet with a muted thump, and once again, a mad squirming for supremacy took place as the girls tore at each other tummy to tummy.

Scene Twenty: Jordana again proved too strong, too energetic on the ground, firmly establishing herself atop the sleek blonde and forcing Carter to wrap up a tight guard. Sarah's breath came in grunts and sighs as her legs embraced Jordana about the hips, and her arms threaded over Jordana's left shoulder; under her right. Carter stared up into the lights, frowning with concentration, trying hard to control her breathing with exaggerated pursed-lip exhalations.

Scene Twenty-One: Atop the blonde, Jordana again dug in, keeping her left cheek close to Sarah's, and working to grind upon her. Brewster jammed digging blows into Sarah's ribcage; writhed to put the right hand flat across Sarah's nose and mouth. The blonde twisted aside to avoid the hand smothers, but gave up a bit of her grip in the process: smiling, Jordana trapped Carter in an arm triangle, the brunette wrapping her arms around blonde head and extended left arm, pressing Sarah's left shoulder against her own throat.

Scene Twenty-Three: Sinewy as an eel, Carter writhed free of the choke attempt - once again reaching her right arm over Brewster's left shoulder - but the blonde recognized her predicament. Sarah knew she couldn't afford to fight off Jordana's repeated submission attempts: she HAD to get to her feet!

Scene Twenty-Five: Again, Carter broke guard and managed to lever Jordana's body off, allowing blonde to roll away - but Brewster's pursuit was relentless. On her knees, Jordana quickly closed as Sarah came out of her tight little backwards somersault on the carpet, embracing the blonde over/under right shoulder and left arm, chesting her to carpet. With her legs out to the side this time - Jordana was in a much better position: she quickly moved to slide across Sarah's chest, hoping to cross-body pin her, but again the blonde was too slick. Bridging up, and rolling into Jordana, Carter broke up the play and scrambled away - once more sorting out her bottoms upon regaining her feet.

Scenes Twenty-Six & Twenty-Seven: Sarah circling, panting; mouth gaping; eyes furtive. She could see the pink blossoms of damage shining on Jordana's thighs and ribs, but Brewster wasn't discouraged. Sarah was used to smaller girls stiffening up under her strikes, slowing down. She was expecting a Kreuk, or Marcil performance from Brewster. Jordana wasn't playing that game.

Scene Twenty-Nine: The pattern repeated itself. Sarah trying to keep her distance; pushing front kicks and desperate leg and body kicks to wear at Jordana. Brewster grit her teeth and walked through it, eventually punching her right hand at Sarah's head and chest, then closing to take the blonde down. Once down - Jordana always emerged on top - always. Carter hustled to get her legs around brunette hips, but the constant threat of chokes and smothers - coupled with the relentless nuisance-punching of her ribs - was eating at Carter's reserves. She was tiring, growing sloppy, and Jordana began to dominate.

Scene Thirty: Fighting on the carpet, Brewster worked hard while inside Sarah's guard to shove the blonde in stages to the wall. Once crammed in the join between wall and floor, Carter's movement was even more restricted, and Jordana's mauling tactics were even more effective. Wriggling to get a foot against the wall, Sarah was able to push-and-roll, once again escaping out from underneath - but the effort was beginning to tell. Fit as she was, it was costing Carter twice as much energy to deny Jordana, than it was costing Brewster to impose her will in the first place.

Scene Thirty-One: Walking away from Jordana, Carter seemed a used beauty. She stumbled, eyes glassy, fists half-cocked. Jordana moved in from behind, passing on the blonde's left flank. With her right hand flat and rigid, Jordana chopped backward - palm down - at Sarah's stomach, taking her hard above the navel. The lissome blonde cried out, eyes shutting tight in pain as she bunched up. With a happy yelp, Jordana hopped in to secure a tight side headlock with her left arm, twisting Sarah viciously around in a half-circle.

Scene Thirty-Two: Getting her left hip into Sarah's body, Jordana twisted her rag doll blonde around again, this time flipping her heavily to carpet. Jordana scrambled across her groaning blonde - legs scissoring up Sarah's left arm while hands secured Sarah's right. Solidly atop Carter, Jordana went to work - alternately punching her left hand into Carter's flat midsection, or squirming to hand smother Sarah with the right hand.

Scene Thirty-Three: With the last of her reserves, Sarah kicked, bucked and writhed against her tormentress. Her dancer's legs thrashing, sweeping over carpet; feet digging in to support bendy-backed bridges...all to no avail. Sarah's face twisted side-to-side, struggling out of one smother after another; tummy straining; knees flopping from side to side; her strength ebbing. In the end, Carter sobbed, "I give!" with a heart-breaking wail. Jordana cackled, glowing with exultation; lingering atop her conquest far longer than necessary to ensure Sarah finally got the point.

Aftermath: Jordana stood to accept the room's applause, glowing with triumph, hands on hips, belly pumping rapidly. At her feet, Sarah Carter hugged her body, knees drawn up to her chest as she rolled onto her right side, facing away from her conqueror; back to the audience. Despite being favored in each of her recent contests, the winning momentum was clearly building for Jordana Brewster; people were getting accustomed to seeing her strut while an exhausted blonde lolled and moaned at her feet.

"I'm back on track," Jordana proclaimed in an interview three days later. "That's bad news for you-know-who."