‘Best of Vol. l’ from The Walkin’ Dude’s DVD Collection: “Checkmate” by The Walkin’ Dude
The scenes below show the final moments of an apartment wrestling match. Astute observers will note the style bears an uncanny resemblance to the stellar work Simguy has been doing lately (one of my reasons for being cautious to share it). But since Simguy gave his blessing, I can safely say, ‘though I might be ripping him off, I'm not doing it in secret.’
********
Starring Shannen Doherty vs. Eva Longoria in "Deliver Us From Shannen" (Shannen in trendy white tiger stripe bikini; Eva in brown leather bikini - old west theme with sapphire accents)
A sweating, shopworn Eva lays sprawled in an unceremonious heap on the carpet with a smug, satisfied, Shannen seated on her belly. The humbled Latina Wildcat's face is a portrait of agony, her eyes clenched shut, brow furrowed, mouth hanging open in slack protest as a grinning Doherty helps herself to the defenseless center of Longoria's trunks. The cruel veteran works the crotch torture methodically, twisting her right hand like a five pronged corkscrew while her left presses down on her wrist, adding ever more pressure. Eva's limbs have betrayed her, both legs kick weakly at nothing, while her arms can only shove and slap weakly at Shannen's bouncing backside. Shannen keeps smiling as she works her magic, taking care to reset her grip on Longoria's togs when her hold starts to waver. Let's hope Eva packed a lunch; it looks like she'll be here for a long time.
********
Starring Natalie Portman vs. Sarah Michelle Gellar in "Working the Abs" (Natalie in gleaming white 1-piece; Sarah in forest green bikini)
A wobbly-legged Sarah Michelle is pulled to her feet by a mercilessly grinning Natalie who, holding her tight, slowly - almost languidly - slips behind her gut-shot nemesis and locks her in a perfectly applied Abdominal Stretch. Locking the hold in tight, Natalie bends the blonde over her thigh; grinding her hips against the Slayer's helpless rear end. But Portman's torture doesn't end there - not by a long shot! For the next several minutes, the Slayer's heaving ribs are treated to every wicked trick Natalie can think of; clawing, raking, pinching, slapping and jiggling the once firm muscles of her belly. Sarah drifts into unconsciousness shortly thereafter, but not before Natalie gently pinches the blonde's upper lip between her thumb and forefinger and twists viciously, a rarely seen, but incredibly painful indignity.
********
Starring Michelle Trachtenberg vs. Rachel Skarsten "Shhh, Baby's Sleeping." (Rachel in red bikini with white polka dots; Michelle in teal bikini)
Sitting comfortably in an overstuffed leather armchair, Rachel reaches down and pulls a semi-coherent Michelle down onto the seat with her. Slipping her legs around the auburn haired girl's waist, she pauses to brush an errant lock of hair of her foe's forehead before she loops an arm across Michelle's throat; the other resting snugly on the crown of her head. Smiling prettily for the camera, Rachel tightens both at once; the toned muscles in her arms and legs easily visible as she works the Sleeper/Body Scissors. Trapped in Rachel's clutches, Michelle's pretty face contorts in a deep frown as her normally pale face slowly turns a deep, blushing crimson. The brunette fights to the end, pawing weakly at Skarsten's elbow and thighs, but in her weakened condition she can only resist so long before slumping forward in Rachel's suffocating grip.
********
Starring Erica Durance vs. Kaley Cuoco in "Hugs for Everyone" (Erica in latex look, cream bikini; Kaley in baby blue tie-side bikini)
Erica's face is set in cold, defiant line as she kneels behind a prone Kaley Cuoco. Resting her chest snugly against the curve of the blonde's slick back, Erica muscles her arms under Cuoco's armpits before clasping her hands in tight knot right under Kaley's boobs. Digging her chin deep into the blonde's shoulder, Durance whispers sugarcoated malice into Cuoco's ear as she puts all her strength into the Bear Hug. Kaley voices a breathless little cry as ribs are constricted, her lips trembling and pursed as her head lolls on her shoulder. Feeling the last of the oxygen being squeezed out of Kaley's lungs, Erica presses her lips to Cuoco's cheek and gives her a sloppy condescending kiss, the demeaning tactic forcing a single tear to run down the defeated blonde's sweat drenched face. It's a humiliating turn of luck for the often-dominant blonde; she's used to giving punishment, not receiving it.
********
Starring Mischa Barton vs. Lacey Chabert in "T Trumps A" (Lacey in back bikini with white lace trim; Mischa in shimmery gold one piece)
Shoving Mischa roughly against the wall, Lacey straddles her thighs and places her palms against the other girl's shoulders, pinning her to the wall like a bug on a card. Shifting her grip, she runs her hands up from Mischa's shoulders to her face, digging needle-point fingers into her damp mane before yanking her head back at an awkward angle. Purring down in Mischa’s face, Lacey forces smoldering eye contact before she pulls her face into the canyon of her cleavage. Chabert holds her mount position as Barton begins to wriggle desperately, the domineering victrix tossing her head back in ecstasy as she rubs and slides her bounty all over her victim's face. At this point Mischa's totally helpless, her long legs beating a weakening tattoo against the carpet while her hands claw uselessly at the bare expanse of Chabert's back.
********
Starring Kristin Bell vs. Lindsay Lohan in "A Trumps T" (Kristen in hot orange bikini; Lindsay in pastel bikini, tropical motif)
With an iron grip on Lindsay's wrists, Kristen drags the mewling redhead across the carpet to the dead center of the apartment. Moving quickly, the sturdy blonde spit-fire drops Lohan's limp arms and stands over her chest, one strong leg on either side of Lindsay's defenseless rack. Biting her bottom lip in a coy smile, Bell adjusts her briefs for a second before she suddenly drops all her weight down, pancaking Lohan's ample chest under her round rump. Lindsay's mouth gapes open in a whimpering protest of agony, she wishes in vain for the punishment to be over, but Kristen gets to her feet and drops once again, the second impact flattening her ample chest even more. Lindsay's eyes are glistening with tears, and still Bell can't be sated. Bouncing derisively on Lindsay's mangled mammaries, Kristen gets up and rubs hands across her hips a split seconds before she sits out a final time, jackknifing Lindsay's prone form with the sternum shattering blow.
********
>Starring Ashley Scott vs. Tricia Helfer in "Long, Limber and Lethal" (Ashley in backless red 1-piece; Tricia in lavender bikini)
Beautifully confidant, Ashley sprawls luxuriantly over the shivering wreckage of what had been gorgeous Tricia Helfer. Pinning the lean blonde's wrists over her head, Ashley slides her legs inside Tricia’s gams and locks on a sadistic Double Leg Grapevine. Scott's blue eyes twinkle maliciously as she spreads her long legs wider and wider, stretching Helfer's own legs at a painfully obtuse angle. The pinned blonde remains defiant, thrusting her body upwards to slap slickly against her tormentress even as Ashley slams her torso and chest down to meet Tricia’s final show of resistance. Tiring of the game, Ashley wrenches the Grapevine as tight as it'll go, crushing Tricia into carpet while she goes nose to nose with her captive, initiating prolonged eye contact as Helfer wilts in her grasp. Keeping the blonde's panicked gaze, Ashley mouths taunts into her face, the brunette's lips almost brushing against her beaten rival's nose.
********
Starring Rachel McAdams vs Elisha Cuthbert in "Auburn Destruction" (Rachel in blazing red bikini with slender white belt; Elisha in ice blue bikini)
Sitting pertly on the slightly flattened swell of Elisha’s breasts, Rachel looks over her shoulder and quickly pulls her tangled locks back behind her ears. Intent on making a bold statement, McAdams slides her butt up Elisha's frame until it's sitting comfortably on the point of the shell-shocked blonde's chin. Reaching back with her right hand, Rachel grabs a handful of hair and pulls Cuthbert's head up, allowing her to easily slip her flawless thighs around the sides of Elisha's flushed face. Crossing her ankles, the auburn aggressor locks the Reverse Scissors in tight, instantly transforming Elisha's skull into the world’s largest, prettiest walnut. Flipping hair from her eyes, Rachel places both hands deep in the shag and pushes up, adding insult to injury by jiggling her butt saucily in front of Cuthbert's nose. Elisha's blonde countenance is a portrait of agony as her hands slap ineffectually on Rachel's taut butt cheeks as she drifts into dreamland.
********
Starring Charisma Carpenter vs. Jessica Biel in "Folded Up; Beaten Down" (Jess in electric blue bikini, Charisma in jaguar print bikini)
Charisma bawls in shame-faced embarrassment as the fork of Jessica's crotch hovers a few inches from her face, the brawny brunette's teal togs providing a wonderful chromatic contrast to Carpenter's frowning, petulant face. Rubbing her butt back and forth across her victim's neck, Jess fixes Charisma with a taunting leer as she snaps her bottoms back into position. Tweaking Charisma's nose lightly, Biel's grin gets even wider as the pinned brunette bridges frantically upward, trying to escape the belittling cover. This proves to be Charisma's last mistake as Jess leans back to snag her flailing legs behind the knee. In a flash, Biel has her victim tied up tight, leaning forward as far as far as she can, the warm, flat plank of her tummy pressing thickly against Charisma's nose. The count may be academic but Jess isn't satisfied, she holds the pin as long as she can, allowing Charisma's upturned butt to wriggle and twitch as she's cinched up and at the mercy of her tormentress.
********
Starring Allison Mack vs. Rachel Bilson in "Teaching a Lesson" (Allison in dark maroon bikini; Rachel in pink and white striped bottom with pink tank top)
Allison resets her grip and pulls Rachel in even closer, crushing the petite brunette methodically against her fireplug frame. Jostling Bilson off her feet, the blonde smiles happily as she jerks her prey from side to side, wringing and squeezing the last hot gasp from Rachel's slightly puffed cheeks. The trapped beauty moans quietly, kicking her legs in pathetic rag doll movements while her hands open and close with the same erratic jerks. Mack doesn't mind the tremors and shakes; she's broken better than Rachel in her arms and she has no problem teaching the smaller girl the ins and out of wearing a girl out. The sturdy blonde demonstrates a plethora of techniques to an unwilling Bilson, tightening and relaxing her grip while shaking the brunette from side to side and grinding her locked hands roughly into the small of Rachel's back. Allison's lesson doesn't end until she gives Rachel a final rib compressing constriction, the brunette's damp cheek slumping forward to rest on Mack's beefy shoulder.
********
Starring Lexa Doig vs. Amy Jo Johnson in "The Brutal Basics" (Lexa in gold sequined bikini; Amy Jo in bubblegum pink one-piece)
Lexa lays heavily across Amy Jo's back, taking deep, centering breaths as she laces her arms under Amy's arms and across the back of her skull, applying the Full Nelson. Resting her damp forehead against the nape of Johnson's neck, Doig clenches her fingers tightly and jerks up hard, even as she presses down on Amy's head. Lexa's arms are like sculpted bronze as she breaks Amy's will with the elementary hold. AJ's face is a study in frustration as she's worn down by Lexa, the limber brunette pulling futilely at Doig's Bear Trap grip as her splayed legs beast sporadically on the carpet. Listening to the quiet gasps and moans coming from the other brunette, Lexa puts the last nails in Amy's coffin, falling heavily to her side and lacing her powerful thighs around Johnson's trim, quivering waist. Lexa licks her lips and smiles; in a mere matter of seconds, Amy will be whimpering putty in her hands, unable to resist anything the bigger brunette might have in store for her.
********
Starring Paris Hilton vs. Neve Campbell in "Million Dollar Scream" (Neve in classic dark purple 1 piece; Paris in hot pink bikini)
A frustrated looking Paris jerks weakly from side to side even as Neve presses the points of her kneecaps into the blonde's pinned arms. The desperation on the lithe girl's face is easy to read with Campbell holding her head in both hands, making sure Hilton's face is facing upwards for the impending torture. Neve digs pale fingers into her foe's skull as she scoots forward and sits down, bringing the suffocating, inescapable weight of her derriere down on Paris' upturned face. The blonde thrashes and kicks, planting her sinewy gams in the carpet before bridging up, a bit of insubordination that is rewarded with a series of snapping rabbit punches to the belly. Victory assured, Neve snuggles her bottom down even tighter across Paris's mouth and nose, grinding her hips in languid circles as Hilton breathes her last.
********
Starring Kat Heigl vs. Jessica Alba in "The Bosom of Thy Enemy" (Kat in royal blue bikini; Jessica in tan bikini)
A vengeful scowl twists Kat's features as she holds Jessicas arms stretched tight over her head. With hands resting on her broad hips, Kat regards the fuming Alba with a cold glare, holding the twisting, writhing, beauty immobile. With arrogant, deliberate slowness, Kat removes her hands from her hips only to rub them adoringly over her legendary rack, making it quite clear about how she intends to put the other blonde away. Finished with the pre-show, Kat fastens a rough grip on Jessica's shoulders as she slides back and lowers her breasts across Alba's wildly twisting face. Katherine slams the full weight of her rack up and down on Jessica's face, making sure the downed woman is never able to draw a full breath. Alba groans with every slick, slapping impact, the force of Heigl's blows causing her legs and hips to kick hopelessly upwards. After nearly blows, Jessica's legs give a final tremor before laying splayed at an undignified 45-degree angle.
********
Starring Eliza Dushku vs. Scarlett Johansson in "Red, White, Black and Blue" (Scarlett in basic black bikini; Eliza in red leather bikini top, black leather bottom)
Eliza curses impotently as her face goes from pink, to red to vermilion, all thanks to the arm drawn tightly across her throat. The irony of course is that she's being choked by her own limb, held currently in a brutally painful grip by the grinning Scarlett Johansson. The angelic features of the strawberry blonde are drawn up in a surprisingly evil smile as she bears down on the Half Nelson while leaning back on the choke, the agonizing simplicity of the Cobra Clutch making it all but inescapable. With both arms incapacitated, the rough and tumble brunette can do little more than pull and wriggle in Johansson's sadistically technical maneuver. Scarlett's drinking up Eliza's helplessness, blowing teasingly in the brunette's ear as she yanks back even further on the brunette's traitorous arm. And if that wasn't enough, Scarlett digs her chin deep into Dushku's sweating cheek, pushing the bony point back and forth while Eliza gurgles in slowly fading protest.
********
Starring Katie Holmes vs. Sienna Miller in "Got You (Where I Want You)" (Katie in cloud gray 1 piece; Sienna in canary yellow bikini)
Standing arrogantly over the ramshackle form of her opponent, Katie sits down, finding a comfortable perch on the small of the diminutive blonde's back. Smiling coldly, Holmes reaches forward and laces long fingers under Siennar's trembling chin. Planting her feet flat on the carpet, Holmes pulls up and rears back, forcing Miller's torso off the ground in a nastily awkward looking curve. Keeping the Camel Clutch locked in, the lanky brunette pulls her hands from side to side, wrenching Sienna's neck to the limit as the blonde sputters in whimpering anguish. Not content with merely causing pain, Katie steps into the realm of all out torture when she slips hook-like fingers into the sides of Miller's mouth and pulls back even further, forcing a terribly distorted yell to issue from the blonde's awkwardly stretched lips. Almost satisfied, Katie puts all her weight into one final backwards yank, pulling Sienna into an inverted ‘L’ for several seconds before the small blonde finally succumbs to unconsciousness.