Simguy DVD Collection #8: Catherine Zeta-Jones vs. Denise Richards (apartment wrestling) by simguy

Back of the box reads: “Catherine Zeta Jones, scourge of the ingenue class! Nobody in wrestling so delights in robbing the cradle as the regal CZJ. But has she made a mistake in selecting Denise as her next nubile blonde victim? Richards has been around the block, seen the highs and lows of this sport and she comes in well prepared and completely unstarstruck by her raven-haired foe. A must for fans of Catherine Zeta Jones...and for those who hate her as well!

Special features include:
- Mini doc: "The Weight of Celebrity"
- Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Julia Roberts, CZJ and other ‘A List’ stars chime in with thoughts on what world-girding fame means in a scrap with another celebrity.

- “Catherine Zeta Jones, Taskmistress” - Jones commentates highlight clips of her controversial battering of rookie Kate Hudson; of her stomach-clawing a young Jenny O'Dell (5 or more years ago); the sleeper-choking of tiny Jessica Simpson and so on. Several nubile young blondes shown in various stages of slaughter. Only the February 2003 bout when CZJ pulled off her shocking upset of then-champ Charlize Theron being against what could be considered a “top” opponent.

- Party Cam (on or off) - Begin viewing the DVD either at the start of the fight, or at the start of the evening. Camera wends its way through the crowd, random comments from glitzy guests are solicited or “overheard”. CZJ in red bikini and gold kimono - Denise in black bikini/black kimono are glimpsed at opposite sides of the room chatting up the guests, sipping champagne and getting in the mood for combat.

Random Scene Selections:

Scene 3: "Scramble"
With both vixens on the carpet, disengaged after a furious rolling bout of hairpulling, grappling, and clawing - Denise is able to lean over and elbow Catherine in the belly, stalling Jones' rise and putting her back down on her haunches with a snort. The blow allows Richards to get to her feet first, reach into the seated brunette's long black locks and take control. Pre-empting Catherine to the body was something Denise had worked long and hard on in training - a deliberate tactic to get and keep initiative throughout the bout.

Scene 5: "Body blow" - Denise screen left; Catherine the right - Richards leaning in close, facing the camera with her left cheek on Zeta J's right shoulder - Denise stamps a firm, plugging right hand flat against Catherine's solar plexus. CZJ all cramped up - right leg twitching up a smidge - face contorted in pain, brows frowning tight, lips writhing back to release a high, sweet "AHHHH!" Richards with a faint half-smile on her lips, taking it to Jones' body early in the fight.

Scene 6: "Bully's work" - Denise screen right; Catherine the left - Richards controlling Catherine's bikini top with a right handful of strap, simultaneously chucking a girlish left uppercut to CZJ's chin. Catherine recoiling with a cry - head tossed back in a smear of black, arms flung wide.

Scene 7: "Chop Chop" - A ragged CZJ stumbles forward, face contorted, teeth bared. A much fresher, livelier Denise shoves CZJ hard in the shoulders/upper chest, slaps Jones' under her arms to shunt the limbs out of the way, then HAI KARATE! chops both knife edges of her hands, palms up, in above either creamy Zeta-Jones hip. Catherine cringes, cries out, draws her elbows in and folds up as Denise BEAMS with pleasure, taking a moment to enjoy the view.

Scene 9: "Bed Bounce" - Catherine lies on her back in stupor on a king size bed (rumpled white sheets), head lolling side to side as she attempts to rally. She's been badly outfought on the bed - rolled, contorted, pushed around and bodied: CZJ often takes command of a match on the mattress, but tonight Denise is too aggressive! Smiling Denise enjoying herself, sitting up pretty with her legs on the floor as she smoothes hair behind her ears while looking down at Jones' wincing face. Denise shifts, kneels, then stands on the bed, bouncing slightly as she straddles Catherine, still staring down at her. Jones out of it, groggy: head very near the bed's edge. With a bounce, Denise steps off and comes CRASHING down - butt first onto the meat of Jones's oft underrated chest, drawing a breathy shout of shock from the haughty “Welsh Witch!” Bouncing off Catherine, Denise lands lithely on the carpet, grinning like a gymnast sticking a landing. Behind her, poor Catherine hugs her flattened jugs as she rolls dreamily onto her side, smothering her sobs in the duvet.

Scene 10: "I'm hurt!" Raucous brawling - Jones on the verge of rout - Denise bullying her all around the carpet. Richards hungry, constantly pressing the pace: whenever there's separation, she's the one trying to close it, bringing the fight to Catherine. Jones tempest-tossed, staggering and reeling as she's pulled and pushed - even suffering the indignities of having her legs rolled up over her head - proud buttocks high in the air as a beaming Denise holds her in place. Torrid trouncing goes on and on until Catherine cries out piteosly on her haunches, left hand clutching immediately at her lower back, right hand thrust forward at the oncoming Denise in a whining plea for mercy. Injury timeout called - Jones limping to the bed where her trainer can probe and massage her lower back. Denise pacing, hands on hips; fuming at first, then openly complaining, "Come ON!" Delay goes on for twelve (12) minutes before a plucky CZJ bravely says, "I'll continue". Upon resumption, Denise rushes in - only to take a swinging CZJ boot to the belly. Poor Richards doubled up with a shout, hugging her midsection; Jones' cackling, grinning malevolently as she reaches for her foe's shoulders, easing blubbering Denise back for some steady work.

Scene 12: "Sleeper" Pace much slower, starting to suit CZJ - she's working the sleeper on Denise - left arm snug around the throat, left hand gripping the right bicep, right hand cupped atop Denise's damp skull. Catherine riding Denise, staggering with her when standing, grinding her when they both sink to haunches. On the carpet, Jones patient, licking her lips - unkempt hair obscuring the left side of her face. She'll rest a cheek against Denise's head, then straighten up to stare off into the crowd, intent upon her work. Richards' eyes dreamily closed, lips parted in discomfort as she lolls in Catherine's lap; rolling from hip to hip. Denise's right hand pulls at Catherine's pale left shoulder - supporting herself with her left hand on the carpet. Occasionally, Catherine will pull Denise's hair with her controlling right hand, yanking blonde locks close to the scalp - bringing fresh angst to Richard's cranky features.

Scene 14: "Payback Paunch" Jones on the left (left arm supporting Denise behind her back); Denise on the right (right arm reaching behind Jones's shoulder) - Catherine scoring with a firm right to breadbasket, cramping Richards up. Denise's lips crimped in a crooked line as she muffles a sob, eyes wincing, left knee jerking spasmodically upward as Jones digs in. Catherine disheveled, but clearly loving the effect! Cath blows the hair out of her eyes as winded D stumbles breathless to all fours.

Scene 15: "Back in the Saddle Again" - Fresh off a body blow knockdown, a grinning CZJ straddles Denise's back, takes two handfuls of long blonde hair and jerks up, glorying in Richards' wretched wails of protest. Jones shuffles forward, reaches for the chin, settles butt in the small of Denise's back and snugs up for a haughty camel clutch. Poor Denise groaning under the weight - arms dangling limp over Jones' pasty thighs - soft blonde hair bowing up where it's trapped against face by Jones' unforgiving grip.

Scene 16: "Catbird Seat" - Seated position too good to abandon just yet - Jones rides Denise flat to carpet: now Richards on her belly, propping herself up on elbows to expose her world-class cleavage. Catherine's pale haunches solid, beefy as she shifts her weight - reaches in with both hands to reef upward on Denise's soft, blonde locks. Apartment filled with shrill bleats and piteous moans of helpless Richards. Jones rising on her knees, both fists tugging to her chest, silky tresses gathered together in a long, shimmering stream; tugging up and back on Richards' skull.

Scene 17: "Slapping!" Denise on her back, reaching up to grab at Catherine's wrists - Jones kneeling to the side, working hard to straddle mount her blonde - much bucking and gulping of Richard's hips as she attempts to dislodge her tormentress. As her struggles subside, Catherine goes to work with right hands - big, stroking forehands and backhands; rhythm broken only by the necessity of wrestling down Denise's hands and controlling her body. D's face: tossed side to side, slowly losing focus, lolling back dreamily into position as the cracking blows add up. Jones: unkempt hair covering the left side of her face, spilling down over her left breast - eyes bright, lips tight with concentration as she claps away. As Richards grows compliant - Jones starts crowing - sitting heavily on the blonde, gripping both Denise's hands and squeezing them white; tossing her head back and savoring Richards' dim moans of protest. Catherine with time to spend, takes either of Denise's hands in BOTH of hers for extra hard squeezing. Look at her yanking up on Denise's left, holding the hand against CZJ's heaving breast, crushing away as poor Richards sobs, reaches with a weak right hand to push stupidly against Jones' belly, or pull at Jones' wrist.

Scene 18: "Jones Rampant" - Denise sits crying, holding her left hand against her breast. Jones is standing, preening, taking a little strut around the room; hair wild; in her mouth; across her face. CZJ audibly snapping her bottom into place, then circling back to Denise and reaching down to gather hair with a flourish. Groaning Denise tugged and muscled to her feet before Jones steps in with a stuffing right hand low into the pit of her belly. With a whimpering sob, Denise collapses in Catherine's arms, wheezing; hands reaching 'round Cathy's arms to paw miserably at her back. Jones reaches under Denise's arms, eases her back against the wall where she stacks her up hard with hands on either side of Richards' ribcage. D's head lolls slowly side to side, eyelashes fluttering, while Catherine winds up and then EXPLODES a backhand across Denise's mouth! Jones, laughing, spins with the shot and leans her back on the wall in the space vacated by Denise as she tumbles along the wall into the corner in a haze. Richards' mouth gaping open leaving a wet smear on the wall; her left hand pressed wide against the white vertical - desperately hurt, yet struggling to rally. Catherine strides in - all bully - brushing hair out of her eyes, wearing a big cocky grin as she reaches for Denise's shoulder and spins her around. Big, cracking forehand slap - right hand takes Richards full on the cheek! Robust right backhand whips Denise's head hard to port! Cath pushing with her left hand against Denise's chest to stabilize. A chorus of “Ooh!” and “Aaah!” from the appreciative crowd - nothing like seeing a brunette stack a blonde up against a wall and slap that haughty blond smirk out of her! Jones face: happy in her work, intense.

Scene 32 "Finish her already" Considering D was done by scene 18-20 - this thing's a vintage example of Zeta Jones' overindulgence! Catherine abusing and torturing her girl, pulling at Denise's limp limbs, hugging and squeezing at her pliant body, stacking, packing and bullying her to no purpose other than to draw out the punishment as long as possible. Denise face: puffy and dazed from repeated, full-bodied slaps. Jones allowing the ruined beauty to crawl, sometimes stagger away to imagined safety - only to gather Richards back up and work her over extra. End comes as Denise lies sprawled on her back; top of her head nestled in against CZJ's crotch as Catherine sits up pretty with legs spread at a 45 degree angle, playful, leaning over and using her hands to smother-cover Denise's nose and mouth, reveling in Richards' feeble, unavailing struggles to pry the hands away. Cathy reaching down with unspeakable satisfaction - black locks dangling in Richards' face - strong fingers massaging/pawing/clawing Denise' proud jugs; Cath purring kittenishly happy as Richards moans, wriggles some, but can't get out of there. Back and forth, Cathy taking what she wants - last dregs of resistance ebbing from Richards as her hand movements grow increasingly erratic. Denise's hips twisting as her knees flop from side to side; feet scuffing, pushing feebly at the carpet. Eventually, the breast mauling and hand-smothering prove too much and as she fades out, with a happy smile CZJ sits back, chest puffed out, hands behind her for support as she leans back and beams broadly at the KO'd blonde lying in a stupor between her thighs.