"Ughhhnn. Hulllo?"

"Hi! Jenna? Tom Hanks here. I'm sorry I called you so late; it's almost 1AM. Did I wake you?"

Jenna twisted to her left side and pulled the covers closer to her body.

"No Tom," she sighed, "I was just having the freakiest dream, it was about..."

"Hey, Jenna baby, I'd like to hear it, but I don't have time. Rita and I are going out of town and we need a housesitter. Would you mind?"

"Why don't you just HIRE a housesitter, Tom? It's not like you don't have the money."

"Yea babe, but I've known you for over 10 years and you're the only one I trust in this no-good town. Whaddaya say? Free use of the pool and spa!"

Jenna sat up in bed and answered groggily, "OK, Tom. When?"

"For two weeks starting Saturday."

"You got me. I'm there."

"Great, Jenna! I'll leave my house keys beneath the front door mat. See ya!"

Replacing the receiver, Jenna Elfman curled up into a ball and went back to her dream. It was Tuesday morning.

Two nights later, Traylor Howard was hosting a "Girls' Night Party" at her home where she and Courtney Cox, Jennifer Aniston and Calista Flockhart were glued to her wide-screen television set eating popcorn and watching a triple feature of "chick flicks".

"Oh Traylor," Courtney exclaimed, "this is the best party ever! First Beaches, then Fried Green Tomatoes and now Boys on the Side! I LOVE these movies! You're my best friend ever!"

"Yea Courtney, I like you too," Traylor replied.

At this moment, the phone rang.

"Hi Traylor, it's Rita Wilson."

"Oh! Hi, Rita!"

"Look darling, Tom and I are going on a vacation and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to house sit for us during the next two weeks."

"You got it, Rita! Anything for a friend!"

At this last remark, she winked at Courtney.

"Good, good. Full use of the pool and spa, you know!"

"Yes Rita, I know. I appreciate it."

"The same. I'll leave my house keys in the back on a nail near the sliding door. We'll talk later, Traylor! Bye now!"

"Hmmm!" Traylor remarked. "I'm house-sitting for Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson! This should be exciting!"

On Saturday morning, Jenna Elfman jogged the two miles to the Hanks mansion with a small suitcase of necessities in her hand. Finding the keys where Tom said they'd be, she opened the door to their luxurious living room and though she'd seen it several times before, it never ceased to amaze her. To the far left was a long staircase leading to the second floor and beside it against the wall was a large oak china cabinet. A long, plush white couch lay in the center of the room and a fireplace sat to the far right. A Jacuzzi had been built into the rear of the room near the sliding glass door that led to the back yard and the entire place was layered in pink and white granite tile.

"Oh boy, my very own place," Jenna exclaimed.

Feeling a bit worn from her jog, Jenna decided to go upstairs to the main bedroom and take a little nap. Hauling herself upstairs, she entered the Hanks' bedroom, stripped down to her pink cotton underwear and was soon in a deep sleep.

Two hours later, Traylor arrived from walking the two blocks from her house to theirs and indeed, a key hung from a nail near the sliding glass door. Walking around the front again, Traylor was startled to find that the door was unlocked.

"They probably left it unlocked in their rush," Traylor decided as she stepped quickly into the living room, heartened at the solitude.

"Maybe I'll take a little nap," Traylor said aloud and with this thought, began to walk up the stairs, stripping down as she went and leaving a trail of clothes in her wake.

As she approached the main bedroom clad only in her tightie whities, Traylor became aware of slight snoring sound emanating from inside. Slowly she turned the knob and found to her shock and horror...

"Elfman!"

Jenna, jolted awake by the shout, turned onto her back and replied, "Howard!"

"What are you doing here, you fucking slut?" Traylor hissed.

"Housesitting you stupid bitch! What the fuck are YOU doing here?"

"I'm housesitting too!" Traylor yelled. "We can't BOTH housesit, now can we! Get out before I toss you out on your scrawny ass!"

"Traylors for sale or rent," Jenna sang, "are you still mad because I stole the part of Dharma from you?"

"How's this for an answer," Traylor growled and in a second, she had body-splashed on Jenna, smashing her adversary into the mattress, bra-covered breasts shaking and collapsing into each other with the collision.

"Aaarghh! Tramp!" Jenna howled, as Traylor dug her fingers into her hair.

"Bitch!" Traylor replied and punctuated her remark with a sharp knee between the legs.

Jenna cried out as Traylor, knee still placed on her enemy's pussy, returned to a sitting position, pulled Jenna up halfway by the front of her bra, and began punching her repeatedly in the face. Jenna's head snapped back over and over with each assault as Traylor dug her knee even deeper onto her foe's womanhood. Wanting to end the fight quickly, Traylor undid her bra, held Jenna's hands down and in one quick motion, smashed her breasts against Jenna's face. Jenna squirmed and thrashed, but Traylor wrapped both arms around Jenna's head and forced her further into her cleavage until the blonde's movements began to cease and only Jenna's muffled gasps and groans gave any indication of her consciousness.

Deep in the folds of Traylor's breasts, Jenna knew she had to do something, otherwise she would pass out completely. With one final attempt, she grabbed Traylor in a weak bearhug and with a lone burst of strength, flipped her adversary over the edge of the bed. Jenna landed on top of Traylor and after dislodging her face, raised herself up and jammed an elbow onto Traylor's throat. Traylor's hands shot up and began clawing at her opponent's face and back, but she was obviously in the losing position now. Arching her back slightly, Jenna quickly undid her bra and threw it to the side.

"Payback's a bitch, Traylor," she hissed, as she plopped her perfectly pert breasts onto Traylor's upturned face.

"Mmmph!" Traylor said and reaching down, grabbed the edge of Jenna's underwear and gave her a terrible wedgie.

Jenna grunted, but continued the smother, whereupon Traylor kicked up her legs, wrapped them around Jenna's waist and locked her feet together to apply a crushing scissors.

"Aaagh!" Jenna cried, breaking her hold while Traylor tossed her to the side and poured on the pressure.

"Fuck you, bitch," Jenna snarled and began punching Traylor's breasts, pounding them at first against each other and then flattening them against the body.

Screaming now, Traylor broke her hold and Jenna rolled away to stand. Thrusting her claws into Traylor's hair, she pulled the beauty up to her feet and wrapped her hands around the throat of her foe. Traylor did the same and soon the actresses were stumbling about in their respective death grips, out the bedroom door, down the hall and to the edge of the stairway, where Traylor shoved Jenna over the top stair and Jenna, hands still around her adversary's neck, pulled the blonde down with her.

Before either could fully comprehend the consequences, they were both falling head over heels down the flight of stairs, bodies flopping and mashing against one another, until they landed at the foot of the stairs with Traylor on top, Jenna's legs and lower body strewn across the first four stairs. Reaching down, Traylor grabbed Jenna's hair and began smacking the back of her head against the tile floor. With each echoing crack, Jenna's eyes rolled further and further into the back of her head. Using the railing, Traylor stood up and springing high into the air, came down feet first between Jenna's upturned legs, crushing her ass and pussy against the stairs.

"How's that feel, bitch?" Traylor cried as she bounced up and down before kicking Jenna's pussy onto the next lowest stair and repeating the process.

Jenna groaned and attempted to reach Traylor's feet, but the angle of her body did not allow a full reach. After a couple of minutes, Jenna's entire body had finally reached the bottom of the stairs. Running up to the sixth stair from the bottom, Traylor swung from the railing and thrust her body into the air to land with a splat squarely on Jenna's flushed breasts, crushing them beneath her shapely ass. Jenna let out a long breath, followed by a staccato series of grunts as Traylor bounced repeatedly on Jenna's pretty orbs, turning them into jelly.

"No more, no more," Jenna gasped.

"Are you sure?" Traylor asked, arching her back and smashing her ass against Jenna's breasts once more.

"Yea, yea, just get off me!"

"OK."

Traylor squatted over Jenna's body, stood and was about to walk away when Jenna grabbed Traylor's feet, sending the beauty sprawling and smacking her head against the tile. As Traylor lay face down trying to regain her senses, Jenna rolled over and dragged herself across the floor until she lay atop her foe. Jenna then applied a grapevine with a full nelson and began smashing Traylor's face against the floor. Traylor's muscles contracted with each blow, but her body was fairly incapacitated by the grapevine hold.

After beating Traylor's face into the tile a few times, Jenna got to her knees and dragged her nearly unconscious enemy to the couch, where she lay Traylor's head face up against the center cushion. Keeping the blonde's head in place, Jenna climbed along Traylor's body until her fine ass and pussy totally covered her adversary's face in a front face smother. Feeling completely aroused now, Jenna began to rock back and forth while Traylor, breasts jutting out and legs spread-eagled on the floor, could only moan and gasp beneath Jenna's ass.

"Hunhh! Hunhh!" Jenna grunted, hands deep into Traylor's hair to keep her head in place.

Traylor's legs, arms and pussy began to convulse in retaliation and just as Jenna was about to cum all over her foe's face, Traylor reached up and grabbed the back of Jenna's hair. Jenna's face was yanked back, her body arched at a sharp angle and then she was pulled up and off the couch, landing on her back between Traylor's legs. Traylor wasted no time and began driving her fists into Jenna's wet pussy, soft breasts and fine, velvety stomach.

As Jenna lay on the floor in pain, Traylor stood up, turned Jenna onto her belly, picked up her legs and dragged her toward the Jacuzzi, Jenna's breasts scraping along the tile in the process. The water in the Jacuzzi was only waist high, but it would be enough to do the trick. Wading into the center of the Jacuzzi now, Traylor pulled Jenna to the edge, rammed one hand between her legs and placed another one against the back of her neck.

In a burst of energy, Traylor hauled Jenna over her head, held her there for a moment, and then drove her down face first into the water. As Jenna kicked and struggled for air, Traylor smashed her body into the bottom of the Jacuzzi and stepped on her body like a surfboard, one foot on her ass and the other on the back of her neck. Jenna fought meekly for air, but the thrashing did little to shake off the victor. Finally, after about a minute of this, Traylor pulled Jenna up by the hair and tossed her out of the water.

Jenna lay tits-up on the tile as Traylor approached her, crawled atop her limp body and completely engulfed her face in a reverse facesit. Jenna's body convulsed slightly, her hands made irregular attempts to pry Traylor's ass from her face and finally Jenna's arms flopped limply at her sides. The battle was over. Traylor sat perched atop her unconscious foe's face for two minutes more to make sure she was out cold. Then she got up, leaving Jenna on the floor, went upstairs and collected all of Jenna's things, and threw them onto the front yard. She then took Jenna by the legs, dragged her to the front door and tossed her body into the bushes.

Later, next door neighbor Steven Spielberg found Jenna's body, revived her and called Tom Hanks, who was quite distraught over the whole affair.

"Didn't I tell you that I hired Jenna Elfman to housesit?" Tom asked his wife Rita upon hearing of the news.

"Actually dear, you DID," Rita replied. "But I just couldn't help but have some fun. Those two ladies hate each other so. I just KNEW one would beat the crap out of the other. And best yet, I had the monitoring cameras on the entire time, so we can watch the fight later when we get back home!"

"Good idea, baby," Tom said. "You're a genius!"

"Well I ain't Forrest Gump," Rita remarked. "But I get by!"