(Great Fights of the 80's): Morgan Fairchild vs. Cheryl Ladd by anted + jermaine

Morgan Fairchild looked fantastic in a figure hugging red dress slashed to the waist to reveal her long slender shapely legs in sheer flesh color pantyhose. She was mingling with the other guests at a showbiz party when she felt a hand grab her butt and squeeze real hard. She whirled around to look for the woman who had grabbed her buns and saw Cheryl Ladd with a big grin on her face.

“Was that you, you little slut?" she snapped.

"As if! What do you take me for?" laughed Cheryl.

Morgan went for her, slapping the smaller blonde. Cheryl stumbled backward over a table and as she went to get up, Morgan grabbed her hair, clamped her other hand on her throat and slammed her against the wall. Cheryl's body went weak as Morgan punched the cute little blonde in the belly as shehe held Cheryl by the throat pinned to the wall.

“I never knew you were a dyke, you little worm," snarled Cheryl.

The guests had gathered around, excited at the thought of a good catfight. Cheryl's costar, the amazingly beautiful Jaclyn Smith had returned from the ladies room to find her friend pinned against the wall by Morgan. She raced over and yanked the back of Morgan's dress, ripping it right off her long slim body. Morgan was startled and turned around.

"Wowwwwwwwwwww, yessssssssss!" came the whistles and cheers as Morgan stood there in just a sexy white lace basque, stockings and suspenders. Two of the worlds most stunning woman stood there facing each other as the crowd gathered around.

"Get her Morg!" and "Teach the blonde whore a lesson, Jaclyn," came the cries.

"Now its your turn Smith. Am I going to enjoy beating you!" smiled Morgan.

"Somehow I don't think so, you skinny blonde piece of trash," chuckled Jaclyn.

Just seconds before Morgan and Jaclyn started to tear each other to shreds, a revived and perky Cheryl Ladd tapped Jaclyn on the shoulder. She was smiling and standing next to Sally Struthers, who had witnessed everything.

Cheryl asked Jaclyn to stepaside and help Sally collect $25 from everyone in the room. "We're going to give Sally's kids the whole contribution, and everyone here is willing to pay $25 to watch me kick Morgan's ass. And we'd all like a close look at her brand-new store-bought titties too!" Morgan's rather obvious new boob job had been quite a topic of conversation.

The scowling Morgan was more than a little pissed to be upstaged by the woman she thought she had already disposed of earlier. But Cheryl wasn’t finished with her upstaging! She wiggled out of her evening gown and stood wearing only silk panties and a barely there bra. The lingerie clad Ms. Fairchild suddenly seemed over-dressed.

The thoroughly outraged Morgan led with a hard roundhouse blow but Cheryl cleverly blocked it and countered with a solid right to the navel that sank deep into Morgan's gut. Cheryl followed up with a swift SLAP and as the stunned Morgan retreated, the crowd shouted their approval. Cheryl looked quickly to Jaclyn and got a "thumbs up" from her.

But in the split second she’d taken her eyes off her target, Morgan rallied and landed a vicious kick to Cheryl's crotch. As the wounded Ms. Ladd stumbled backward, Morgan delivered a nasty right cross that dropped Cheryl on her butt. Morgan pressed her advantage with a second kick, this one to her midsection. Cheryl instinctively grabbed her foot and twisted with all her strength, dumping Morgan to the floor screaming in agony. The sound of her butt hitting the marble floor excited the crowd.

Cheryl quickly scrambled on top of Morgan, wrapped her hands around her neck and banged her head on the marble floor three times. Pinning Morgan's arms with her knees, Cheryl gleefully slapped Morgan's face as the delighted audience counted along. After “TEN” Cheryl rose off her knees and jerked Morgan up by a fistful of hair and ran across the room with Morgan in tow.

She stopped in front of the buffet, and flung her helpless rival facefirst into the assortment of creamy desserts. Morgan was thoroughly covered in eclairs, puddings and pies when Cheryl dragged her up off the table and pulled her toward the punch bowl where she proceeded to dunk her head in the punch. Using one hand to hold Morgan's head under, Cheryl took the long silver punch ladle and used it to beat Morgan's firm ass. Her scream of agony was nothing more than a badly muffled whimper trapped in the bubbles in the punch.

Next, Cheryl lifted Morgan out of the punch bowl, spun her around twice and as Morgan struggled to keep her balance, Cheryl shouted, "Here's a little more punch!" She delivered a perfect right cross to the chin.

Morgan fell backward onto the table and pulled the entire punch bowl down onto herself as she slid off onto the floor. Cheryl turned to those gathered behind her and took a bow, smiling from ear to ear.

Her next move shocked and delighted the crowd. In a gesture of triumph, Cheryl quickly removed her own bra and flung it toward Jaclyn. Slipping her hands behind her head, she did a little dirty dance to the amazement of all in the room. Her dance was brief, however, because when she glanced at the ruined bully on the floor, she saw there was more work still to do.

Cheryl grabbed both of Morgan’s ankles and folded her until she had pinned them next to Morgan's ears. Securing the matchbook with her left hand, Cheryl reached for a long handled cheese board from the buffet table, and used it to SMACK Morgan's raised ass as, once again, Cheryl led the crowd to a rousing count of “TEN!”

"Now let's see the result -- shall we, class?" Cheryl said, in a perfect imitation of a science teacher as she ripped Morgan's panties off to expose her splotchy, Rudolph's nose red, buns. "Let's dare to compare," Cheryl said sarcastically as she reached down and ripped off both Morgan's bra and her teddy. Pinching her helpless rival's nipples, Cheryl offered, "If I were you, I'd chase down that plastic surgeon and demand a refund."

The delirious Morgan had no reply and offered no resistance as Cheryl hauled her humiliated rival up one final time and asked the audience to vote on who had the best titties in the room. "Do you prefer natural?" she asked with a wink and a smile. "Or do you prefer store-bought?" she glanced contemptuously at the thorough decimated Ms. Fairchild.

Jaclyn shouted, "It's unanimous. Cheryl rules, and Morgan just drools."

Jaclyn looked Morgan right in the eye and left her with a thought, "Never start what you can't finish. Later, loser."