"Hi Linda, this is Jules Asner from E! Entertainment, how're you this morning?"
"Fine, thanks," answered Linda in her rich, smoky voice. "I've been expecting your call."
Jules sipped her cappuccino as she studied her feet propped up on a hassock. She frowned, making a mental note to repolish her toenails.
"I'm so glad you agreed to be on my show. It will be nice to see you again!" gushed Jules.
Linda walked across her kitchen floor and peered out the window at the beautiful morning sun.
"It's been a few years, hasn't it?" she mused.
Jules, picking at the chipped pink nail polish on her big toe, explained, "As you know, this is just an informal chat to kind of feel things out for the actual taping of the 'Revealed' segment covering 'Femme Fatales of the Modern Era'. It's designed to give me a few ideas for questions and help familiarize myself with your life and career."
For a half hour they discussed Linda's film career and little nuances that could be used during the actual taping of the show. Films such as 'The Last Seduction' and 'Jade' comprised a generous portion of the conversation, as they were instrumental in Linda earning her well-deserved reputation as a femme fatale.
"This intrigues me," said Jules. "I understand you won your role in 'Men In Black' during a poker game with director Barry Sonnenfeld?"
Linda huskily laughed on the other end of the line, "That and about 1200 bucks!"
"I also heard that after shooting 'Where The Money Is' with Paul Newman, you said if you could steal just one thing, it'd be Paul from wife Joanne Woodward!"
Linda smiled as she reminisced about the comment, nodding as she admitted, "Well......yeah, but it was all in fun."
Jules squirmed on the couch, giggling uncontrollably, as catching Linda by surprise, she countered, "Oh, so you mean you wouldn't like.......kick her ass and jam her head in a toilet bowl full of bleach?!"
Jules had spoken with her friend and fellow E! personality Aisha Tyler, the woman who had avenged Jules' catfight loss to Brooke Burke by doing exactly that very thing to poor Brooke.
Linda was astonished by the giddy brunette's question and asked with a hint of annoyance, "Ah...no.....what kind of question is that?!"
Jules finally gained control of her giggling fit and apologized, "Sorry, I got a bit carried away there."
Linda strolled into her living room, a devious look upon her face as she asked pointedly, "Do catfights amuse you, Jules? Have you ever even been in one?"
Linda had already learned through the grapevine all about Jules' tussle with Brooke's.
"Hey, Linda, I'm asking the questions here," snapped Jules, her amusement snuffed out.
"Well....have you?!" prodded Linda with a grin.
This was an obvious sore spot with Jules for Brooke Burke had destroyed and humiliated her. Even worse, the whole thing had been caught on tape.
"No, I never have," Jules huffed gruffly.
"Now, now, that's not what I heard," teased Linda.
"You can't believe everything you hear, now can you?" snapped the irritated interviewer.
Linda had struck a nerve and Jules was pissed. There was an uncomfortable pause in the conversation, then suddenly, a coy little smile curled Jules' lips. She had the perfect comeback to dish it right back at Linda.
"Anyway, Linda, there are four other femme fatales we're including in the show. Peta Wilson, Famke Janssen, Charlize Theron, and Izabella Scorupco. As a matter of fact, I've already taped a preliminary interview with Izabella - you know her, don't you? Beautiful blonde model, born in Poland and raised in Sweden, had been in 'GoldenEye' and 'Vertical Limit'. She was currently married to some NHL hockey player."
"I know of her, but I don't know her personally," responded the 5'7" brunette.
Jules grinned devilishly, preparing to push Linda's buttons for alluding to the Brooke Burke fiasco.
"Really? I just assumed you two knew one another, judging by the way Izabella talked about you."
Linda had walked back into her kitchen to get a cigarette from the pack laying on the breakfast bar. She tapped the filter several times on the Formica and lit it.
"Oh, what did she say?" Linda asked, inhaling deeply.
Jules jumped from the couch and grabbed a tape recorder from her briefcase.
"Here, I'll replay it for you. Well, actually this isn't really pertinent to your segment on the show," she said smiling.
"Play it," said Linda suspiciously.
Jules played the tape, holding the recorder to her phone so Linda could clearly her the interview with Izabella. The first ten minutes were informalities, Izabella speaking about her husband and baby daughter, her modeling career and her recent foray into American movies. Jules mentioned the other four women who were to be included in the show and the blonde had laughed at the mention of Linda's name.
"Isn't she a little....how you say....over the hill to be in theese group?!" Izabella asked in a thick accent.
"Linda's a legitimate choice, what with her roles in 'The Last Seduction', 'Jade', 'Where The Money Is', amongst others," said Jules.
"OK, OK, it's your choice," said Izabella smugly. "But I don't think we see her in Maxim anytime soon, no?!"
Linda heard Jules' crazed giggling in the background of the tape.
"Izabella, you sound like a femme fatale with sharpened claws!" Jules prodded, hoping for more. "If we put you and Linda in the same room, the fur isn't going to fly is it?!"
The 5'6 1/2" blonde giggled as she said, "Oh, you mean maybe I give her a bodycheck into zee boards, like my husband do? No, I be nice and......how you say......try to respect my elders."
Linda angrily lit another cigarette as she listened to the catty blonde insulting her. Jules shut off the tape and there was a long silence. Jules struggled not to laugh out loud as she smiled nastily.
"I'm sorry, Linda, I shouldn't have played that," Jules said with false sincerity.
"No, I'm glad you did, Jules," said Linda, thinking what a troublemaking bitch the brunette was. "How old is that blonde bitch, anyway?"
"She's 31....at least ten years younger than you," emphasized Jules.
Linda took a drag from her cigarette, anger swirling inside her slender body.
"Well Linda, I think everything has gone well this morning," said Jules facetiously. "I plan on seeing you at the studio next week for the formal shoot."
"Will Izabella be there?" asked Linda coldly.
"No, we'll only shoot one actress a time," answered Jules.
"Pity....," said Linda in a low tone.
As soon as she hung up, Jules immediately called her assistant at home. She was shivering with excitement as she told her assistant to make sure that Linda and Izabella were scheduled the same day for shooting the 'Revealed' show.
"Meeeoowwwww!!!" giggled the brunette as she hung up the phone and skipped upstairs to take a shower.
The following week, at the 'Revealed With Jules Asner' set.....Linda Fiorentino strolled onto the set, dressed in heels, black pantyhose, a short leather skirt and short sleeved red silk blouse. A female assistant approached her and greeted her.
"Good Morning, Ms. Fiorentino. The dressing room is down the hall on your right. We have a make-up artist present if you wish. Ms. Scorupco is in there now, but there are two stations if you'd like to join her. Maybe chat while the girls do your makeup," added the assistant.
"Is she?!" said Linda with surprise. "Yes, I'd like that very much, thank you."
The slender brunette strode down the hallway and paused at the dressing room door. Adrenaline had begun to course through her veins as soon as she heard Izabella's name. She silently turned the knob and stepped inside. Jules was present and gave her an insincere look of surprise as she grinned deviously. Izabella was in mid-sentence when Linda's reflection appeared in the mirror in front of her as the make-up artist attended to her. Her eyes bugged out as Linda put a hand on the artist's shoulder.
"You'll want to scram, honey. And not a peep to anyone," growled the brunette.
The artist stepped away from Izabella's chair and looked at Jules questioningly. Jules nodded toward the door as she wiggled her eyebrows and the woman hurriedly exited Jules locked the door behind her as Izabella leapt from her chair and turned to face Linda, fear filling her wide eyes. After her preliminary interview with Jules, Izabella felt she may have been a bit brash with her comments toward Linda. She'd hoped they had remained private, but something was fishy here. Clad in leather pants, white blouse and heels, Izabella stood with her ass pressed against the edge of the counter as she face the brunette.
"L..L..Linda....," she stammered. "I didn't know you ver commink today!"
"Likewise, bitch," said Linda icily. "What a surprise, hmmmnnn?!" The brunette shot Jules a nasty glance.
"We have some issues to sort through, do we not?" she asked the beautiful blonde.
Linda stepped up to Izabella threateningly as the blonde fumbled blindly for a weapon behind her back. She grasped a can of hair spray and lashed out at Linda with the can, striking her across the forehead and staggering her. Linda fell back with a shriek as the frightened blonde rushed past her and reached the door, grasping the handle and jiggling it. She spun and glared at Jules who had picked up her hand held video camera and started to tape the proceedings.
"Vat ze hell is going on here?!" Izabella asked with a panicked expression.
Linda came up behind the blonde who was fumbling with the lock, trying to escape. Linda snapped a kick between Izabella's spread legs, delivering a crushing blow to her pussy. Izabella cried out and sunk to her knees groaning, her head against the door.
"Ooooh, no fucking for you tonight!" quipped Jules as she winced in sympathy.
Linda grabbed Izabella's flowing mane and yanked her to her feet, spun her around and pinned her against the door. The blonde's hands were firmly buried between her thighs trying to ease the pin in her pulsing crotch.
"Do you think I'm too old to kick your fucking ass?" Linda snarled.
Linda cocked her fist and threw a punch at Izabella's face but she wisely ducked the blow and Linda yelped in pain as her knuckles rattled off the wooden door. Izabella blocked out the pain in her crotch as she rammed her elbow into the brunette's belly, doubling over the gasping woman. Izabella grabbed Linda's hair and slammed her headfirst into the door several times, dropping the dazed brunette to her knees.
Izabella yanked on Linda's mane, swinging her around and sending the dazed woman crashing to the floor flat on her back. A kick to the cunt left the battered brunette moaning and writhing on the floor as Jules filmed the spectacle in total shock at the way the younger blonde was dominating the brunette.
"What do YOU think, bitch?!" sneered the confident blonde.
"How about a little humiliation?!" suggested Jules, giggling at Linda's discomfort.
She could hardly believe she was about to tape the destruction of the revered Ms. Fiorentino by this blonde model/actress. Izabella smiled over at her and leaned over her suffering opponent. She ripped open Linda's silk blouse, exposing a red lace bra and her flat tummy. Using two generous handfuls of Linda's long brown hair, Izabella hauled the woman to her feet and slammed her back against the door. Linda was gasping for breath, her eyes still unfocused. Her blouse, which had slipped down off her shoulders, was pulled off complete and thrown aside by Izabella. The cocky blonde toyed with the mature brunette, laughing in her face as she squeezed Linda's small breasts through her sexy brassiere. Izabella was a rookie catfighter - not going for a swift kill was going to come back to haunt her.
"Now I send you to sleepyland, no?!" Izabella teased as she cocked her fist in front of Linda's face.
Linda stared at her maliciously, her eyes now sharp and clear. Without warning, her knee flashed upward, crunching Izabella's cunt with another numbing blow. The blonde groaned, almost gagging with nausea as she folded forward at the waist.
"No!!!" snapped Linda as she grabbed Izabella head and swung her knee up, smashing the blonde in the face.
Following a sickening crunch, Izabella flopped to the floor on her back, her arms bouncing off the floor before coming to rest outspread. Blood seeped from her broken nose and began to trickle down both sides of her face as she lay moaning, barely conscious.
"Eeeeewwwww!!!" said Jules disgustedly, seeing the gruesome result of the knee strike.
Linda stood over her battered foe, then lifted her foot and placed her pointed heel on the blonde's pussy. Grinning at Jules' camera, she ground it viciously into the crotch of Izabella's leather pants, causing the blonde's body to jerk in response as she continued to moan.
"I'll be right back," said Jules breathlessly as she unlocked and opened the door. "The crew's gonna be wondering what's the hold up and I don't want them coming in and interrupting us."
She disappeared into the hall and Linda went over to the counter and grabbed a pair of razor sharp stylist scissors while Jules explained to the impatient production crew there was a minor delay. She told them to just 'hang loose' for a while. She came back into the dressing room and locked the door behind her just as Linda was cutting the legs of Izabella's leather pants from cuff to crotch with the scissors.
"How about a little humiliation?!" mocked Linda as she glared at Jules, her camera taping again.
The brunette slipped off Izabella's shoes, unfastened her pants and wriggled them down and off, now that the legs were sliced wide open.
"Those are awful cute panties for a 'femme fatale'," joked Linda, referring to the blonde's delicate flower print cotton thong.
She roughly tore open Izabella's blouse, unbuttoned the cuffs and roughly yanked it off the body of the moaning, limp woman. The blonde's bra was next, leaving her a bleeding, whimpering, half-naked mess on the floor. Linda stood over her once again and carefully prodded the blonde's cunt through her skimpy thong with the pointed heel of her shoe until with a soft, riiiipppp, it slipped inside the damp opening. The blonde gasped as the brutal brunette buried the 3" heel in her cunt.
"P p pleeze....!" she sniveled nasally. "No more, I beg you...."
Linda smirked as she twisted her heel, making the blonde gasp aloud as her hands flailed at Linda's calf.
"Maybe your husband would like a third hole down here to play with, huh?!" she asked cruelly as she leaned her weight forward.
"No!.....I beg wiz you, pleeze!" mumbled the blonde in fear. "My nose she eez broken!" Izabella sobbed with teary eyes.
Linda removed her heel from Izabella's cunt and yanked her into a seated position. She grabbed the blonde's white blouse from the floor and roughly swabbed her bloody face with it, staining the garment and eliciting a painful yelp from Izabella when her nose was smushed under Linda's hand.
"Apologize to me ..and I'll let you off the hook, candy ass," said Linda.
"I was wrong....I'm sorry to you Linda!" begged the damaged blonde, her face a mess.
As Jules recorded the spectacle, she felt her panties getting seriously wet. Was there something wrong with her?! She got off on this shit - just as long as it wasn't HER getting her ass kicked.
Fuck it, Jules thought to herself. My clit's buzzing.
That was the answer to the question. Linda cupped Izabella's chin and stared into her red eyes.
"Do you really think one little appearance in a James Bond flick makes you a worthy femme fatale?!" she asked.
The blonde began to sob, tears flowing freely as she sucked air through her mouth. Linda pushed her onto her back and straddled her on her knees. She took a nipple in each hand and twisted savagely. Izabella was whimpering loudly as her rival leaned in close to her ear.
"I'll give you a hint," whispered Linda. "I don't think you're worthy."
"I am not worthy, no!" agreed Izabella. "Pleeze, just stop hurting me!!!"
The brunette released the blonde's agonized nipples and looked down at her.
"That's right cupcake, you aren't worthy. But....since you're here - and since the crew's patiently waiting to tape the show - I think I'll allow you to have your little sliver of glory here."
Izabella began to scream as she saw the brunette's fist flash down toward her jaw. Her scream was silenced with a thud when Linda connected to her jaw with a knockout punch.
"But first I need to clean you up some, you sniveling little whiny ass," growled Linda.
"You are one bad assed bitch, Linda," said Jules grinning.
"Shut up, wimp!" snarled the brunette as she hoisted up Izabella's limp body.
She dragged Izabella back to the chair and sat her in it. Her head tipped back and her arms dangling limply over it's sides. Linda grabbed her light blonde mane and forced her to face the mirror, albeit unaware and unconscious. The nasty brunette wiped her index finger in the blood trickling from Izabella's broken nose, then traced the blonde's lips with it, turning them deep red.
Linda picked up a container of gel mousse and slopped it onto Izabella's long, beautiful hair, mussing it up and making it look like she'd been caught in a lightning storm. She loaded the disheveled mane with hair spray, preserving it's ugliness and leaving the blonde a total wreck. Jules giggled with glee as she taped the make-over until Linda shot her an evil glance, silencing her.
"I ought to put you in that other chair and give you a make-over too, you devious little instigator," snarled Linda. "Or better yet, get Brooke Burke in here and see if she'd be interested in doing your hair."
Jules face flushed crimson with embarrassment as she whimpered, "I didn't start this, SHE did!"
"Just watch your ass, sweet cheeks," warned Linda.
The brunette tore up some tissues and jammed them up Izabella's nostrils, stanching the flow of blood. She put on her torn blouse, although unable to button it, then hoisted the blonde's body up and threw her over her shoulder.
"Get the door, bitch," Linda snapped. "It's show time!"
Jules rushed to the door and opened it for Linda. There was a resounding gasp from the crew when Linda appeared on the set, carrying the half naked blonde over her shoulder. She carried her to the big couch and dropped her butt onto it. An excited cameraman quickly jumped behind his camera and started to film as Jules stood beside him and continued to videotape as well. Linda propped Izabella up and posed her, reaching for the clip microphone on the back of the couch.
"Hmmmnn, where to put this....." she mused as she looked at Izabella's naked torso.
Finally, she reached down and slipped off the blonde's thong, then pulled it down over the woman's head until it hung around her neck. She fastened the clip microphone to the crotch of the thong just under Izabella's chin. She stepped back, pinched the blonde's cheek and gave her a soft slap.
"Speak clearly into the mike, bitch. We'll all be waiting with baited breath," she teased, getting a few laughs from the crew.
"What's the hold-up....Where's Jules?!" came a booming voice from off set.
The same E! executive that had walked in at the end of Jules' and Brooke's battle suddenly appeared. He stepped onto the set and stopped dead in his tracks.
"Oh, Christ, not again!" he groaned, looking at their destroyed, naked blonde guest.
Linda strode past him, stopped to look at Jules, and said, "I'll see you tomorrow if you still want to shoot me. I'm going home to wash this pussy's blood off me."
"Jules!!!" screamed the exec, staring at her harshly. "Please tell me that is NOT Izabella Scorupco!"
Jules lowered her eyes and looked at him sheepishly, "Ummm..yes, that's Izabella............But I have a tape!" she said eagerly, holding up her handy camera as the exec gave a weary sigh.
"Somebody get a fucking EMT in here NOW!" he snapped. "Then get my damn attorney on the phone! Meet me out back, Jules...... and bring that goddam camera!"