Lauren Graham versus Melina Kanakaredes by blackcape 11/12/00

Dear friend:
You are cordially invited to join Harrison Ford at the estate in celebration of his 60th birthday. All gifts are accepted. We would love to see you there!

Sincerely yours, The Fords

"Oh boy, my first taste of real celebrity stardom," Melina Kanakaredes thought to herself as she read the invitation. "The press is sure to be there and I don't even know what to wear!"

Retreating to her spacious closet, the stunning brunette flipped through the plethora of clothing she had acquired before finally settling on a slinky red dress with a low-cut back.

"This will make me the belle of the ball!" she exclaimed happily, and did a little pirouette for emphasis.

Two days later, she arrived at Harrison Ford's estate, hidden in the sparsely populated forests of New Mexico. As she stepped out of the cab, she was met with a blaze of flashing lights (the paper-nazis were out in full force!) She smiled to each and every member of the press. Her grin however soon turned into a frown when, upon reaching the crowded living room, who should she see conversing with the host than none other than Lauren Graham, star of the new series, "Gilmore Girls".

"Damn it," Melina snapped aloud, "what's that bitch doing here? She's stealing my spotlight!"

And indeed she was; photographers and newshounds swarmed about her like bees to honey while Graham, wrapped in a skintight dress, flaunted her exquisite curves to the adoring crowd. Melina could only scowl from a distance.

"Just because she has a new show doesn't mean she's worth anything," Melina muttered. "I can out-act this bitch any day of the week!"

Sela Ward approached her and said, "Did I hear you say something about that raving slut Lauren Graham? She thinks she so fucking hot," Sela added with a sneer.

"Yea," Melina replied. "If it weren't against the law, I'd like to kick her prissy ass clear out of Hollywood."

"Obviously you've not been a star long enough," Sela said in a hushed tone. "We're stars! We can get away with anything. Are you really pissed off at her right now? Could you kick her ass right this very instant?"

"Damn right," Melina snarled.

"OK, well look. My cousin owns a..."and their conversation was lost amidst the bustle of those in attendance.

Two hours later, Lauren Graham pulled up into the parking lot of a O'Malley's Grocery Store several miles South of Ford's estate. She had been given an anonymous note at the party telling her to meet someone at the supermarket at 11 p.m. and Lauren, perpetually curious, had decided to make the drive out.

Approaching the electronic doors, Graham saw Sela Ward.

"Sela! What are you doing here?"

"Look," Sela began, "Melina Kanakaredes is in this grocery store and she wants to kick your ass. Do you feel like a fight tonight?"

"I don't give a shit about Melina Whatever Her Last Name Is. I know how to fight. Why does she want to fight ME?"

"She's jealous of you," Ward admitted. "You can leave if you want to, but I think you ought to settle your differences here and now."

"OK," Lauren agreed, "what do I have to do?"

"Well first, you need to strip down to your panties. This fight may get dirty." Lauren immediately complied, and was soon clad only in her tight white underwear.

"The rules are simple," Ward continued. "I will be in the manager's office, which has a view of the entire store. I will also be on the overhead speaker giving you directions. I will direct both of you to a specific aisle. Each of you has to get to the specific aisle and find something with which you can defend yourself. At the end of a certain time frame, I will direct you to a different aisle and so forth. The winner is the one left standing. Any questions?"

"Let's get this over with," Lauren snapped.

"The game starts upon entering through these doors," Sela said.

Lauren simply nodded in reply and passed through the front doors...and was immediately struck from behind by a metal shopping cart and driven against the end of a checkout stand! As the cart smashed into the small of her back again and again, crushing her midsection, Lauren was able to swing her body around to face her attacker. Melina stood before her, hands on the cart handle, clad only in a red lace thong that barely covered her bulging womanhood.


Melina drove the cart directly into Lauren's midsection, doubling the brunette beauty over.


Another crushing blow sent Lauren slumping to her knees. CRASH! Another pulverizing attack crushed Lauren's bountiful breasts against the metal grating, driving the air from her lungs. It seemed as though this fight would be over before it really began. Melina pressed against the cart with all of her weight before pulling back and allowing Lauren to fall to the floor. After dragging her victim by the hair to the center of the reception area, the angry actress kicked Lauren to her back and with another SMASH ran the cart atop her foe's prone body. With an angry intensity, she ran the cart up and down Lauren's body, crushing her breasts, pussy and appendages while her victim groaned and twisted beneath the hard plastic wheels.

Just then, Sela Ward's voice was heard over the loudspeaker, "Aisle 13!"

With a dash, Melina rushed off to Aisle 13, leaving Lauren with the cart atop her body. With a moan, Graham shoved the metal device away, got to her feet and headed over to the specified Aisle. As she approached the Meat section, she was immediately assaulted with a forceful blow to the face, which sent her staggering. Before she had time to realize what was happening, another blow sent her sprawling. As she struggled to her knees, Lauren looked up to see Melina holding a large cut of beef steak in her hand.

"Can you believe the price?" Melina asked gleefully. "Only 99 cents a pound!"

With that, she swung the steak low and beat her opponent across the face with it one more time. As she was sent reeling face down on the hard white tile, Lauren noticed the Wine section only yards away. Rolling to he back, Lauren waited until her foe was positioned directly above her; then, she kicked up quickly, striking Melina square in the pussy, which sent the brunette to her knees in anguish. Flipping onto her haunches now, Lauren sprang toward the Wine section, took the nearest bottle in hand, and smashed Melina across the head with it. The bottle shattered on impact as Melina's wine-soaked head plowed into the floor.

"Aisle 11!"

Lauren took off at a sprint, leaving Melina ass-up and semi-conscious. Within two minutes, Melina had gathered her senses and stumbling slightly, approached Aisle 11, only to be hit in the face with an open bag of flour. Through the haze of white, she could barely make out a large pile of flour on the floor, but by then Lauren had taken her by the hair. Dragging her foe to the center of the aisle, Lauren positioned herself above the white pile, stuffed Melina's head between her legs, and executed a "pile" driver, forcing Melina's face deep into the flour in a cloudburst of white. Lauren remained atop Melina's head, back arched, hands on her hips in a position of control, while her foe thrashed and suffocated beneath her.

"You like cooking, bitch?" Lauren snapped, as she bounced forcefully on the back of Melina's head.

Melina knew she had to do something quick; as Lauren bounced up for the eighth time, Melina braced herself and shoved her upper body forward, knocking Lauren onto her back on the way down.

"Ungh!" Lauren grunted, as her head bounced on the tile. Wiping the flour from her face, Melina quickly drove an elbow into her foe's pussy before crawling atop the enemy and setting her beautiful ass atop Lauren's upturned breasts.

"So you like to bounce, do you?" Melina snarled as she drove her ass into Lauren's breasts again and again and again. "How about cooking with oil? Do you like to do that?"

With Lauren groaning under her, Melina reached onto the lowest shelf closest to her and grabbed a bottle Wesson oil. Resting her ass on Lauren's neck with her chin pressed to her throbbing pussy, Melina opened the bottle and shoved the spout down Lauren's throat. Lauren choked and gurgled, her arms and legs kicking and twisting in revolt, as the oil overflowed her mouth and began to spill out of her luscious lips. Grasping the bottle by the bottom, Melina used both hands, locked her arms and shoved the bottle even deeper into Lauren's pliant mouth.

"I bet you like swallowing big things," Melina snickered.

"Aisle 3!"

At the call, Melina rose from Lauren's body and rushed out to Aisle 3. Lauren quickly removed the bottle from her mouth and coughing, spit out what was left of the Wesson oil. Crawling painfully to all fours, Lauren slowly pulled herself up. At the end of the aisle, she could see cans of tomato soup, sitting in neat rows on the far shelf. Staggering, Lauren took four of these cans and made her way to Aisle three.

Peeking stealthily around the aisle, she could see Melina at the other end with a broomstick in her hand. Her opponent was expecting her to come around the other end of the aisle, for she had her back to Lauren and couldn't see her sneaking up the center until it was too late.

"Hey Melina!" Lauren called.

As her foe spun around, broomstick in hand, Lauren let fly with the tomato soup cans, nailing the brunette in the right breast, the pussy, the nose and in the center of her forehead. The force of the blows sent Melina off her feet, and she flew onto her back in anguish. Racing upon her fallen victim, Lauren took the discarded broomstick and began driving the wooden end into Melina's body; a blow to the pussy, blows to the breasts and several more blows to her midsection all served to elicit cries from her opponent. Laying the broomstick across Melina's neck, Lauren bounced up and down on both ends, choking the life from her foe, until

"Aisle 1!"

Abandoning her attack, Lauren stomped on Melina's upturned face twice before heading out to Aisle 1. Melina took her time to roll onto her knees. Staggering terribly, she tripped on over to Aisle 1, to be sent back to the floor again by a surprise uppercut to the chin from Lauren's angry fist.

"Playtime's over," Lauren hissed.

She climbed atop Melina's body and draped her succulent breasts over Melina's face for a tightly-executed breast smother. Melina bucked and struggled for several minutes, but Lauren pressed her face even deeper into her cleavage until finally her foe's body had been reduced to a series of convulsions and, finally, stillness.

Feeling her opponent's body relaxing beneath her, Lauren carefully removed her breasts from Melina's face and stood towering above her foe. They were in the Fruits and Vegetables section; looking about for some method of humiliation, Lauren took a quick stroll.

"Maybe these will come in handy," she said as she picked up a cucumber, an apple and two grapefruit. She quickly turned back to the body and found...

"She's gone!" Lauren said aloud hesitantly. "But where..."

Just then, she was attacked from behind as two fresh halves of an onion were smashed against her eyes.

"AAAHH," she screamed as Melina wrapped her legs around Lauren's, tripping her opponent and sending her sprawling face down on the floor.

Melina quickly straddled Lauren's back, pinning her arms. Using the onion halves as leverage, she pulled back on Lauren's head with all of her might. Lauren's legs kicked and thrashed behind her, tears streaming from her eyes, as Melina began to bounce up and down, smashing Lauren's breasts against the tiles.

"I'm through fucking around," Melina hissed as she took Lauren's head in both hands and drove her face into the tile again and again, dazing the young brunette.

Raising herself to a squat, Melina flipped Lauren to her back. Picking up the fallen apple, she shoved it directly into her opponent's mouth, effectively gagging her with it. Melina then drove her ass onto Lauren's breasts, smashing them like fruit as she straddled her foe facing Lauren's legs. Taking the cucumber, Melina pulled back the edge of the actress's underwear and shoved it deep into her pulsing pussy. Scooting further down Lauren's defeated body, Melina began pumping the cucumber in and out while her foe's legs spread in a frog-like position. She could hear the low guttural groans from Lauren's apple-stuffed mouth behind her, so Melina continued her assault until finally Lauren's legs tensed up and she came all over the cucumber.

"Now it's MY turn," Melina snarled.

Spinning on her ass atop her opponent, Melina scooted herself up along Lauren's body before planting her plush ass atop Lauren's flushed face, covering it completely. The bulge of the apple from Lauren's mouth caused an extraordinary amount of pressure and friction to occur, so Melina began to hump and grind harder and harder, Lauren's head banging again and again into the tile.

"Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! UNGHHHH!" Melina cried as she pressed her entire body weight against Lauren's face and her ass cheeks began to spazz and contract from the excitement.

Finally, with four mighty thrusts, Melina arched her back, thrust out her breasts and came all over her defeated foe's face. Lauren's arms and legs convulsed for several moments, her breasts heaved and then she was completely still. Melina remained astride her foe's face for two minutes more. Then she removed herself and standing, placed one foot atop Lauren's face in a victory pose. As she gripped Lauren's nose with her big toe, Lauren began to groan. She was awakening once more.

"You're not through yet, bitch?" Melina cried. "I'll show you!"

Taking Lauren by the hair, she dragged her opponent beneath a shelving unit which held taco shells, tostadas, cans of beans and enchilada sauce.

"Do you like Mexican food, bitch?" Melina asked her prey. "Why don't you try some?"

She took the unit in both hands and, with a mighty thrust, toppled it onto Lauren's outstretched form. Lauren's eyes widened in horror as she saw the shelves falling toward her; then her body disappeared, completely crushed beneath metal and cans.

"Fuck you! Fuck you," Melina sang, as she jumped atop the overturned shelving unit and began to bounce up and down. This continued for about a minute, before she heard Sela Ward's voice behind her.

"Now what did you have to go and do that for?" Sela reprimanded. "This is just more work for the janitorial staff!"

"That's what they get paid for," Melina snapped back. "Besides, like you said, I'm a star, so I can do anything! And now, with that stupid bitch out of the way, I am the hottest woman on TV! With the exception of maybe..."

Melina's eyes suddenly narrowed as she eyed Sela.

"Oh no," Ward gasped as she began to back away.

"It's time we left," Sela said quickly, but by then Melina had her by the hair and was shoving her to the floor.

"I'm not through yet," Melina snarled. "And neither are you."