Actress Catfight: Jeri Ryan (Boston Public) vs. Jill Hennessy (Crossing Jordan) by John J

While the first set of phone calls that were returned from actresses eager to fight were from Jolene Blalock and Jennifer Garner, a second set of calls came in very soon after those. No more than an hour after the calls for the first fight were returned, Jeri Ryan and Jill Hennessy returned their calls as well.

Just as had been done for the first fight, Both Jeri and Jill conducted a pre-fight interview with a Showtime reporter. Between movies, Showtime broadcast short snippets from each of the ladies interviews.

One snippet featured Jeri saying, “Jill thinks she’s so damn hot after starring in ‘Law and Order’ now she’s got her own show! Well, that runty little bitch needs to get her ego cut down to her own size and I’m gonna love doing it!”

The other clip showed Jill, responding, “Jeri may be pretty and she’s sure well built. She fills out those little Seven-of-Nine skintight outfits, but the blonde bimbo can’t act worth shit! She needs a serious reality check. The bitch isn’t on ‘Star Trek Voyager’ any more! I’m going to have a lot of fun beating her skanky ass!”

The anger and animosity between the actresses seemed to grow each day. By the night of the catfight, both gorgeous actresses were ready to tear the other to ribbons.

Playmate Karen McDougal returned once again as the referee/announcer and as she took her place in the middle of the ring Karen picked up a microphone and said, “Ladies and Gentleman, Welcome to this Second Special Edition of Showtime Saturday Night Fights. Normally, the show has boxing or martial arts fights but like the first event last week, we have another actress catfight! Showtime was surprised at the number of actresses who have grudges to settle and some were willing to settle their dispute right here in our ring in a no holds barred, one hour time limit catfight!”

She continued, “The rules are minimal. First and primary is no outside interference by anyone. These are one on one fights. Second is no foreign objects allowed. Their bikinis and high heels can be used as weapons during the fight, but those are the only objects allowed. Outside of that, any hold, throw, punch or kick is legal. Scratching, mauling, choking and biting are allowed also.”

Karen motioned to one side of the arena as she announced, “Now, without further delay, the first competitor in our actress catfight. From the NBC series ‘Crossing Jordan’ we have Jill Hennessy!”

Jill strutted out from behind the curtain as her name was called, smiling, waving and laughing confidently as she slowly made her way to the wrestling ring. Her small boobs bounced and jiggled under her little white string bikini top as she walked. Her ass wiggled and her hips gyrated with each step she took in matching white stiletto heels. A tiny white thong bottom barely covered her pussy, and offered practically no coverage at all for her ass. The ‘Crossing Jordan’ star climbed the stars to the ring apron where she seductively bent over and slid through the ropes into the ring. Jill stretched and wiggled a bit more as she moved into her position in the corner of the ring.

Karen smiled at Jill, then spoke, “The second competitor is from the FOX series ‘Boston Public.’ Let’s hear it for Jeri Ryan!” All eyes turned to the curtain Jill just emerged from behind, but nothing happened. A few moments passed and Karen repeated, “Let’s here it for Jeri Ryan!”

Everyone started murmuring, wondering what had happened that Jeri didn’t come out. Across the ring, Jill waited impatiently in her corner for her adversary. Suddenly, Jill surprised everyone in the area, including herself, when she let out a loud yelp! The beautiful brunette dropped hard to the canvas as her legs were yanked out from under her by someone outside the ring.

Jeri Ryan had emerged from hiding beneath the ring apron, grabbed her stunned opponent’s legs, and dropped her on her face with one leg on either side of the steel ring post. With a sadistic smile, Jeri planted her foot against the poll and yanked on Jill’s legs. The brunette screamed as her body slid across the rough canvas and her pussy slammed into the solid steel ring post.

Once again, Karen McDougal was uncertain what she should, or even could, do at that point. She knew Jeri’s sneak attack had been sneaky and devious, but still not in the strict sense of a ‘no holds’ contest illegal. Reluctantly, Karen waved at the timekeeper, giving the signal and the bell sounded to start the fight.

DING!

Karen already had issues with Jeri over her being knocked out with a metal chair during the Blalock-Garner fight. Now, this was just another issue she would “discuss” with Jeri when the time came. Karen had no love for the big blonde and Jeri had made it clear to Showtime she hadn’t wanted Karen to referee her match. But Karen still got the job after she had calmly reassured the network, telling them, “I can still be fair and impartial even though I have no respect for Ryan.”

Jeri smiled, waved and flirted with the audience as she strutted around the ring in a tiny, bright red, string bikini with a thong bottom. Her butt swiveled and her tits bounced with each step her red stiletto high heels took. After the sexy blonde paraded around a little more, she climbed into the ring and went back over to where Jill lay on the mat still holding her battered pussy with both hands after the low-blow sneak attack.

Jeri grabbed a fistful of dark hair and yanked Jill up, pulling her out of the corner. Jill was more ready than she appeared though, and as Jeri yanked her up, Jill pounded her fist up into Jeri’s crotch. Jeri yelped as the wave of pain rushed through her. Then she clutched her pussy, squeezed her thighs together and took a couple of small, mincing steps before she dropped to the canvas on her knees with her face flushed. Jill was still on her knees as she swung at Jeri again, but was able to keep her balance and not fall.

Jill stood up and sneered, “Now we’re even, bitch! That was cheap shot for cheap shot!”

She reached down and hauled Jeri to her feet with a hard yank on her long blonde hair. Jill pulled Jeri into a solid headlock, then the little brunette ran forward and drove Jeri’s head into the corner turnbuckle. She backed up a couple steps, then charged in and did it again! Jeri groaned in pain as her head smacked the thinly padded metal buckle.

Jill released the headlock and let the blonde drop at her feet. With Jeri in a very vulnerable position on her knees in the corner, Jill took advantage. She planted a high-heel on Jeri’s throat and pressed down hard. Jeri coughed and gasped as the little brunette choked her as Jill used her hands on the ropes for more leverage, putting incredible pressure on Jeri’s windpipe.

But when Jill shifted her position to try to add more pressure to the choke, Jeri grabbed her other foot and gave a twist. Jill yelped and staggered as her leg was bent a direction it wasn’t supposed to bent. Jeri got just enough of an opening to roll away from Jill’s chokehold and escape.

Jill wasn’t about to let Jeri escape so, she went right after Jeri and grabbed the blonde by the hair and yanked her up. Jill gave Jeri a forearm chop across the tits trying to drive the blonde back into the corner but the chop didn’t budge Jeri. Jeri answered back with a forearm chop of her own that flattened Jill’s perky little boobs. Jill staggered backward as Jeri’s powerful forearm smashed her tits flat and took her breath away. As Jill staggered, Jeri went on the attack!

Jeri wrapped Jill up in a reverse headlock and, before Jill could react, Jeri put her down head-first. Jill moaned when she hit the mat with the top of her head, Jeri right beside her, still locking her in the headlock. Only when Jill was down did Jeri release the headlock and get up. She pulled Jill’s hair to forced the brunette to her feet and put her in a standing headscissors. Jeri kept the headscissors for a while, crushing Jill’s neck between her strong legs. Jeri lifted Jill’s legs up straight in the air - held her there for a moment - then drove the brunette down hard with a piledriver.

Jill’s body went limp and flopped to the canvas where she lay seeing stars swirling before her dazed eyes. Jeri continued her attack as she hauled Jill to her feet again by the hair. She took Jill’s arm and swung her around, sending her reeling into the ropes where she bounced off and came back toward the middle of the ring. Jeri set herself and leveled Jill with a clothesline that flipped her upside down and sent her crashing to the canvas on her back.

Jill lay coughing and gasping for air as the impact had knocked the breath out of her. Jill got no rest at all as Jeri again dragged her to her feet by the hair, then spun and whipped Jill a second time. Again Jeri set herself as Jill came careening off the ropes but this time it was Jeri who ended up surprised!

As Jill rebounded off the ropes, she spun and kicked out her leg. Her high-heel caught Jeri in the side of the head and the blonde staggered back, dazed by the brunette’s thrust kick. Before Jeri could regroup, Jill charged and attempted a drop kick. Her high heels caught Jeri square in the chest and she staggered back again into the corner. Jill ran at full speed toward the corner and slammed her knee into Jeri’s gut. Jeri doubled over as the air rushed out of her lungs and as she was bent, Jill dropped Jeri to her knees with a double ax-handle across the back.

Jill grabbed the back of the blonde’s tiny bikini top and pulled. The flimsy top and the spaghetti straps dug deep into Jeri’s soft tits. Jill pulled and tugged, yanked and jerked at the top as she worked over Jeri’s luscious melons using her own bikini against her. Jill pulled one way and then the other, sawing the bikini back and forth over Jeri’s boobs, leaving rope burns on her pale flesh. After several minutes of torture, Jeri’s bikini top tore apart in Jill’s hands and Jeri dropped on her belly to the canvas.

Jill tossed Jeri’s top aside and went back on the attack as she grabbed Jeri’s hair and tugged her back up to her feet. Jill set herself, then whipped Jeri across the ring where her back slammed into the opposite turnbuckles. As Jeri slumped in the corner, Jill gathered speed as she ran across and leaped in the air to splash Jeri’s fading body into the turnbuckle. But no! At the last second, Jeri slid out of the way. She grinned at the look on Jill’s face the instant before she smacked the turnbuckle.

As Jill lay draped over the ropes in the corner, Jeri grabbed a handful of hair, lifted Jill’s head and pounded it back down on the top turnbuckle. She did this several times until Jill saw stars. Then Jeri took a step back, set herself and drove her fist into Jill’s lower back. After three of kidney punches, Jill was moaning in pain and barely still standing on rubbery legs.

Jeri grabbed Jill by the shoulder and turned her around, shoving her back into the corner with her back against the turnbuckle. With a single quick swipe, Jeri tore off Jill’s bikini top leaving them both topless. Jeri wrapped the tiny top around Jill’s neck and started to strangle her with it. After wrapping the flimsy top securely around Jill’s neck, Jeri yanked on the spaghetti strings making Jill choke and gasp as she struggled to pull at the top away to let her catch her breath.

Jill was unable to loosen Jeri’s choke hold and had to change her tactics. She reached out and dug her nails into Jeri’s tits. She buried her nails and raked them across Jeri’s perfect melons as Jeri howled. Jill continued her boob attack as she mauled Jeri’s tits and squeezed her nipples until Jeri released the choke and moved her hands to pry Jill’s from her damaged globes.

Jeri wrenched Jill’s hands away from her boobs, freeing them from the brunette’s attack, then she backed off and checked her damaged tits. Jill remained wedged in the corner as she unwrapped the bikini from her neck and massaged her sore throat as she gulped down life-giving air. Though her boobs were sore and aching, Jill’s were a lot less hurt than Jeri’s although the rest of her body had taken a much more through pummeling than the big blonde.

After a momentary break in the action, Jeri charged back in after Jill once again. As she closed in, Jeri jumped and planted her feet in Jill’s gut. With a firm grip on Jill’s hair, Jeri fell back and pulled Jill down with her. She kicked her legs up just as Jill was above her, sending the brunette sailing through the air. Jill landed on her back in the middle of the ring, the monkey flip working exactly as Jeri intended. Jill lay groaning and writhing in pain; one hand rubbing her sore back.

Jeri got quickly to her feet and walked over to Jill. She landed a hard elbow drop to the boobs before Jill could react. Then Jeri went after Jill’s bare boobs, sinking her nails in and pulling upward on her nipples as she forced the brunette to scramble to her feet. Jeri released her tit hold and whipped Jill back into the corner. Jill slammed into the turnbuckle and was dazed.

Jeri rushed in after her and Jill set herself. As Jeri closed in, Jill heaved herself up on the ropes and swung her legs out, catching Jeri in a headscissors. Jill held herself up with her hands on the top rope as she squeezed Jeri’s neck between her calves as hard as she could. Jeri retaliated quickly by raking her nails down the brunette’s thighs.

Jill howled in pain and started to release her scissors but Jeri wrapped her arms around Jill’s legs and gained control of her just as she released the scissors. With a rough yank, Jeri pulled Jill off the ropes and the brunette crashed to the canvas on her butt in a heap.

As Jeri came after her again, Jill rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope but Jeri followed right behind her. But as Jeri slid out of the ring, Jill was waiting for her. She tackled the blonde football style, slamming her back into the steel steps leading up to the ring. As Jeri was sprawled back over the steps, Jill grabbed a fistful of blonde hair and pulled her up, then ran to the steel corner post. Just as Jill was about to ram Jeri’s head into the steel post, Jeri reversed and Jill found her own head hitting the steel upright.

THONK!!

Jeri had a solid hold of Jill’s hair and she pulled her up, then whacked her head against the post again. After two of those slams into the post, Jill wobbled back barely conscious and seeing stars. Jeri took her time to set up her dazed opponent perfectly. Jill groaned in pain when Jeri’s jackknife powerbomb slammed her down on the concrete, leaving her semi-conscious. Jeri smiled as she slid back into the ring and climbed to the top rope. Jeri set herself, then flew off the top rope. Jill never saw Jeri coming. The blonde landed with one leg across Jill’s throat and the other across her tits. Jill’s legs jackknifed into the air, remained upright a second, then flopped to the cement and lay still.

Jeri turned her attention to her fans. She started to flirt, smile and joke with the mostly male audience. She even autographed a few of her ‘7 of 9’ pictures for the Trekkies. After several minutes of kissing up to the fans, she finally remembered Jill and turned her attention back to her adversary. Jeri panicked! Jill wasn’t where she left her just a few minutes earlier. Jeri spun around and looked behind her just in time to see Jill - swinging a steel folding chair at her head!

Jeri saw her just barely in time to duck and save her head, but she didn’t quite make it all the way out of the way. The chair struck her a glancing blow in the side and she went down clutching her bruised ribs. Jill swung the chair a second time but this time Jeri caught the chair in mid-air and the two beauties began a vicious tug of war over it. After a full minute of tugging back and forth, Jill won when she yanked the chair out of Jeri’s grasp.

Jeri scrambled away in retreat as Jill pursued her with the chair. Abruptly, Jeri stopped her retreat and, as Jill moved in confident she was about to end the match, Jeri lashed out with a high-kicking foot. Jeri’s high heel clanged against the steel chair and knocked it straight back into Jill’s head!

BWAAANG!!

Jill dropped the chair and staggered back like a drunk on Saturday night as Jeri pulled herself up to go after her. Jeri caught her by the arm, pulled her around and hammered the dazed brunette with a combination of punches to face and body, leaving her with a bloody nose and swollen, bruised tits. Jeri bounced Jill’s head off the steel corner post one more time before she scooped her up and rolled her back into the ring.

Jeri followed Jill into the ring where she hair-hauled the daze brunette to her feet, then she immediately put her right back down with a body slam. Jeri sat on Jill’s back, grabbed her neck and pulled back in a camel clutch. Jill groaned as Jeri applied terrific pressure to her neck. Suddenly, Jeri abruptly released the hold, turned around and stood up. Bending over, she easily collected Jill’s legs and sat back, putting the moaning brunette into a Boston Crab. She kept ratcheting up the pressure as she bent Jill’s back a little further every few seconds.

Jill’s resistance broke under the pain of the Boston Crab and she cried out, “OK! I give! Enough! Please stop!”

Jeri hissed, “Oh, stop your damn whining you little cry baby! I’ll stop when I’m damn good and ready!”

Jill sobbed, “No! Please! I give up! You win!”

Jeri sneered, “I told you to the shut the fuck up! I’ll stop when I’m ready!”

Jeri released the Boston Crab and Jill’s legs snapped out straight, flopping on the mat where she lay motionless and sobbing with her head cradled in her arms. Jeri swaggered across the ring and picked up Jill’s bikini top, then returned and straddled Jill’s waist. Jeri pulled Jill’s unresisting arms back and tied her wrists together with her own bikini top before she rolled her over onto her back.

Jill tearfully shook her head, sobbing, “I said I give. No...please, I don’t wanna fight anymore!”

Jeri didn’t say a word as she slowly moved into position and lowered her gorgeous ass over Jill’s face in a reverse face sit. Jeri wiggled and rubbed her ass into Jill’s face as she smothered the brunette. Jeri used a fistful of brunette hair to wedge Jill’s face tight into her butt as she ground her ass while her other hand slowly plucked and teased Jill’s heaving breasts. It wasn’t very long before Jill’s cries and movement stopped altogether.

Looking disgusted with the result, Karen came over and jabbed Jeri in the back with her finger, “Alright. You got your knockout. Now get off and lemme check on her.”

Jeri just wiggled her ass a little more as she looked back over her shoulder and hissed back at Karen, “No! You to do it right, Missy. I’ll stay here until you give me an official count out. I went the bitches ass counted O-U-T!”

Karen fumed and huffed, “Fine. Now, get off.”

Jeri stood up and smiled down at Jill who lay with her arms and legs spread-eagled, her perky boobs rising and falling with her slow, regular breathing She wasn’t moving, she was clearly out cold.

Karen followed the rules as she was supposed to and counted, “1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! YOU’RE OUT!

Then with an expression of undisguised disgust, Karen grabbed Jeri’s hand and raised it as she said, “The winner of this Actress Catfight: Jeri Ryan!”

Karen threw down Jeri’s hand and turned her back on her. Jeri smiled, waved and hollered as she grabbed the microphone from Karen and announced, “We’re gonna have a victory party! Down the street at the Sheraton. You’re all invited. Let’s go have some fun!”

Karen checked on Jill, while Jeri was busy playing to her fans. It took her a few moments to revive Jill and she started crying again as soon as she came to. She didn’t get up until Jeri and her friends left the ring for the party. Then Karen helped Jill to her dressing room and stood watch outside the door to make sure she wasn’t harassed by Jeri or any of her friends.

In the fan vote: Ryan-760; Hennessy-235