Paris Hilton vs. Alyssa Milano vs. Jessica Simpson by DaKid

"Lache-Hilton, party of two; your table is ready!"

Nick cringed as Paris smiled and brushed her hand over Nicks package as the blonde bimbo forcefully led him thru the crowded dining room toward her table she'd reserved in their name. Once, seated Nick quickly hid his face behind the huge, billboard-sized menu.

Paris laughed to him, "What's up with that move Nickie? You don't want to look into my beautiful baby blue eyes anymore?" Paris taunted as she gently pulled the menu away from Nick's face and cupped his chin in her hand.

When Nick raised his head and tried to explain....a fusillade of photo flash units erupted from the Paparazzi! Nick had been caught with Paris Hilton at Shifty Lou's Crab Shack in New Orleans. The photos hit the net in twenty minutes and Nick was in the air later that evening when Jessica saw the pictures!

She immediately called Nick's Blackberry with a cryptic message, "YOU SCREWED ME OVER FOR A CHEAP COCKSUCKER? LATER NICK! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH…JESSI."

Nick spent the night at his friends house getting drunk. He got so drunk he pissed all over his friends couch and his friend asked him to leave at 6AM the next morning. So Nick wandered the streets of LA, drunk, womanless, about to be sued by his rich bitch blond wife and smelling of putrid urine. He sat down on a curb and began to cry, knowing he'd screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him...

Just then he heard the squeal of tires skidding. He leaped back from curb just in time, getting out of the way of sliding sports car. A BMW skipped off the curb and into a row of bushes. Nick leaped up and ran after it, certain somebody just took a nasty bang-up. Nick found the BMW two houses down the street floating in a swimming pool. He spied a body facedown in the pool and leaped in without thinking. He swam over to the body and pulled her to shore. By now, the owner of the house was out and watched as Nick administered mouth to mouth to beautiful young lady that lay dead as a fish out of water. He pumped her chest furiously and again blew air into her.

Alyssa Milano came to coughing and sputtering up water from her lungs. She looked up into Nick's eyes and moaned, "Oh my gawd! A…are you...HIM?"

"Well, I'm me. I don't know about 'him'..." Nick responded sheepishly.

Nick had saved Alyssa's life and for that, she showered his body with wet hot licks and rubbed her tight tits and muscular pussy all over Nick. He did what any red-blooded man would under the circumstances...he fucked the living shit out Alyssa for two days straight! On the morning of the third day his Blackberry started working again.

The first message read, "Baby I need you in me NOW...see you at Starz at noon today for a workout." It was signed, "Love Paris xxx"

Alyssa erased the message and told Nick to make himself at home while she took a meeting with her manager at her gym. She wrapped both her fists with hand wraps, pulled on her ankle wraps and yanked her rubber mouth piece out of her gym bag. Alyssa wore skin tight work out shorts and a red halter. She had her hair pulled back in a tight pony tail.

Nick laughed, "Wow! Your manager looks like he's about to get his ass kicked!"

Alyssa giggled, "Just an ass kicking would be too kind. How about and ass-busting, nose-bleeding, rib-wrecking, black-eyed beat down of epic proportions!"

Nick laughed and went to take a shower while Alyssa got in her car and drove to Starz. She arrived well before Paris, reserved a ring and asked her friend to show Paris Hilton into the gym when she arrived. Then Alyssa began to warm up with some kicks and punches and knees. Twenty minutes later Paris walked thru the door carrying her gym bag.

"Well, well, well; look who thinks there all tough and shit..." snarled Paris.

"I'm not tough Paris...you're tough. I much, you're badder than tough. Straight up, winner keeps Nick, if your woman enough to fight for his magnificent cock..." Alyssa spoke staring directly into Paris' eyes.

Paris glared back and hissed, "You are so about to get stretched like cheap canvas for some piss-poor painter!"

The fight was electric. Both ladies tried to kick the other's head off. About two rounds in, Paris noticed how Alyssa was blocked everything she threw at her head so she changed her strategy and stuffed a wicked kick into Alyssa's gut. The kick found its target and forced most of the air out of Alyssa's lungs. Paris then snapped two nasty jabs into Alyssa's nose and a flying knee up and under Alyssa's rib cage. Alyssa hit the ground like a stack of Sunday papers being thrown from the back of truck. She bounced off the canvas and then crashed back down nose first…out cold!

Paris smiled and called the front desk. The attendant moved toward the gym while Paris strutted past them to her car. But before she got into her car in the parking lot, she put a knife in two of Alyssa's tires, then drove off to Alyssa's house. When he opened the front door, Nick bumped into Paris who was standing there waiting for him; her nose dripping blood, a big welt under her eye and several red welts and scratches on her flat stomach.

"Paris, what the fuck happened? Where's Alyssa?" Nick gasped.

"Ah, she's probably, like, at the doctors now. I mean, I beat her sorry ass SOOOO bad!" Paris preened like the top hen in the henhouse.

Nick pulled her inside where they showered, then sped off to Paris's LA condo where he fucked Paris for two days straight. The morning of the third day, his blackberry went off again while he was taking a shower. Paris picked it up and checked the messages. It was from Jessica and was typical of her: "Baby I'm so sorry! Meet me at Starz today at Noon." This was signed, "Love forever, your Jessi."

Paris erased the message, changed into skin-tight shorts, a red kick-boxing halter, then wrapped her fists and pulled her mouthpiece out of her bag. She leaned into the bathroom and yelled, "Nick baby; you stay right there and keep warm. I'm going to get some more Champagne and then I'm gonna give you a Champagne blow-job when I get back. See you in a hour or so. Love ya!"

Paris got to Starz, spoke with her friend at the desk who told her Jessica Simpson had the boxing ring reserved. Paris smiled and asked her friend to NOT disturb them for at least the next half hour. She opened the private gym door quietly and looked around, seeing Jessica in the corner whipping savage kicks into a heavy bag like a mad woman.

"Well, well; lookie who's all tuff and shit..." snarled Paris, loud enough that Jessica could hear her across the gym.

Jessica turned around and walked toward the ring. She hopped over the top rope like a gazelle and turned to face Paris. "No Paris, you are the tuff shit. I much nastier than that...wanna try me...?" Jessica waved her taped fists at Paris, inviting her to enter the ring.

Paris skipped over to the ring, ducked under the bottom rope and took her eye off Jessica for only about four seconds. BAM! Jessica's side kick snapped into Paris's jaw and twisted her head. She was barely in the ring and now Jessica's savage kick was "air-mailing" her in reverse. She flew threw the bottom rope and hit the canvas just past it and then bounced over the side onto the gym floor.

Jessica jumped toward the top ring rope and vaulted over it. She landed near Paris, grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up toward her face. They were eye to eye. Jessica spit a huge wad of saliva into Paris's face and pulled her right fist back and blasted a savage punch into Paris's nose. It landed on the left side on her nose and continued across to the right side. Paris's nose was badly broken from the shot, it began to stream blood.

Even worse, Paris was blasted backwards, she crashed into the side of the ring and flipped over backwards. Her inertia sent her over the bottom rope and back into the ring. Jessica wasted no time leaping after Paris who fell backward and began to crawl across the ring. Jessica aimed her foot and planted her big toe in Paris' ass crack. The kick was monumental and it left Paris splayed out flat in the center to the ring.

Jessica rolled her over and smashed another right fist downward into Paris' eye. It smashed her cheekbone and immediately began to swell her eye closed. Jessica danced backwards and began to count while she skipped her feet back and forth.

"6...7...8...9...10...11...12...13...14...15... I guess Paris isn't going to get up and fight, is she? Well that's too bad for little Paris...THE TRAMP!!" Jessica snarled and walked toward Paris. She kicked her viscously into her ribs. The she stepped back and pulled her own tights off. She rolled Paris over and slapped her several times.

Paris was sobbing, "NO, NOOO, NOOO....PLEASE...NOOO!"

Jessica pushed her sexy blond bush down on Paris' nose and began to piss. When she had emptied all of her anger and frustration she stood up, grabbed Paris by her hair and pulled her to her feet. Then in a move that can only be described as school yard judo, Jessica yanked Paris hair and flipped her over her hip. The weight of Paris' body put in motion was such that Jessica ended up with a huge patch of Paris' hair in her hand. She smiled like a cat that just eaten a huge rat.

She drove home smiling and singing all the way. As she entered the house, she could hear Nick singing out back. He was singing Sly Stone's, "Its family affair."

Jessica stripped down to just her panties, she stuffed Paris' hair into the thong and walked onto the back patio. Nick was in the hot tub. singing with his eye's closed. She stepped over behind him and straddled his head. She lowered her snatch down onto Nick's nose and bumped it back and forth.

"You owe me 50 grand! I told you I'd scalp Paris Hilton…Now, eat some Simpson-pie Nicky, I KO'd her punk ass straight out and won our bet. So you have to eat my bush like you mean it - and don't stop till I tell you!" Jessica snarled.

Nick ate pie like his life depended on it…because it did!