Kathy Ireland vs. Jenny McCarthy by Shanahan 25-Oct-99

Kathy Ireland and Jenny McCarthy met after hours on the wrestling mat at the back of their Hollywood workout club, and proceeded to strip themselves of their clothing until they stood facing each other totally naked. Now they would face each other woman to woman, with no holds barred, no other eyes watching, and no referee or spectators to interfere and complicate matters.

It was time to see who was tougher - the SI supermodel or the former Playmate. They stood at opposite edges of the large white circle painted on the red mat, glaring at one another, sizing each other up for possible weaknesses and points of attack; then they raised their hands and moved wordlessly towards one another before initiating their struggle.

Wrapping their long arms about each other's upper body, they had at last come to grips, and began squeezing the life from one another. Clasped in their mutual bear-hug, both women squealed, but each also refused to release her hold. Their foreheads pressed together as they intensified their respective attacks, arms winding tighter and tighter about each other's torso.

Their standoff continued for another minute, each naked woman trying to crush the fight from her foe, their squeezing merciless. It was the blonde who then broke the stalemate, loosening her grip just long enough to reach up and wrap her arms about the brunette's neck. Kathy gasped, and immediately sacrificed her own grip to bury her hands in her enemy's hair and pull hard. Their bare feet shuffled across the floor as they shifted their weight, each trying to throw the other off-balance. Jenny followed suit and reached up to grab handfuls of her enemy's curly locks before wrenching them viciously. They cursed each other in the heat of battle, each refusing to relent, until finally Kathy rammed her knee up hard between Jenny's legs.

The blonde exhaled an exasperated breath, and let go of the brunette's hair. Kathy surrendered as well, but only long enough to lower her hands and fasten them around her opponent's vulnerable neck. Her hold established, she started strangling Jenny with all her might, hands tightening about the soft throat, thumbs pressing down mercilessly on the other woman's windpipe. Jenny gasped again before reaching out and responding in kind with her own chokehold.

They again began to struggle back and forth, shaking each other's heads and necks back and forth ferociously as they poured on the pressure, each female determined to choke the other one lifeless.

The stalemate continued to the point where they both began to teeter on the edge of consciousness as they continued to squeeze the breath from each other, until the blonde suddenly let go and smashed her fists into the brunette's cheekbones. The dark-haired beauty cried out and let go of her adversary's long neck, backing off to clutch her wounded face and ravaged windpipe. Jenny also rubbed her hands about her raw throat, each woman obviously in anguish.

The reprieve lasted only a few moments, as in almost no time they had regained their feet and were renewing their nude struggle. This time the combatants set their sights lower, and latched on to each other's soft, huge breasts with rough, greedy hands. Flesh oozed between fingers as they mauled each other's womanhood, twisting, pulling, clawing, and squeezing. Both women drew back their heads and howled, so great was the agony coursing through their chests, but still they kept crushing each other's mounds, still they kept pinching each other's erect nipples.

As before, though, the pain was simply too great to continue, and again they altered their attacks in an effort to gain an advantage. The brunette reached out to press her hands hard along the sides of the blonde's skull, while Jenny squeezed her palms about Kathy's pliable face. Feeling herself getting the worst of the affair, Kathy again switched holds, this time forcing her hands over Jenny's mouth and nose in a suffocating effort. Jenny then mimicked the attack, pulling her hands across Kathy's face until her opponent's breathing passages were also sealed off.

They remained in this position, neither giving an inch to the other, until they again began to see starbursts and feel themselves growing light-headed. This time it was Jenny who brought a knee up to crack it against her opponent's pubic bone, breaking the stalemate and ushering a loud cry from the raven-haired beauty, who responded by backhanding the blonde across her left cheek. The brunette bent low and tried to cover up her agony, but the blonde was immediately upon her, grabbing handfuls of long dark hair and pulling mercilessly. Kathy moaned, loud and long, until she had recovered sufficient strength to sink her fist deep into her enemy's soft, unprepared gut.

Jenny immediately relinquished her hold and backed off to caress her wounded belly, even as Kathy launched a kick that slapped off Jenny's shoulder. As Kathy charged in to press her advantage, Jenny locked her hands together and brought them crashing up under her foe's chin in a double uppercut that knocked the brunette off her feet. The triumph was short-lived, though, as the lingering pain in her abdomen caused the blonde to topple to the floor.

It ended quickly. The brunette had struck the floor with the back of her head and was now flat on her back, struggling to maintain consciousness. The blonde rubbed her wounded stomach, but ignored her agony as she saw her chance to finish off her exhausted opponent. Clambering over to her fallen foe and straddling her waist, Jenny licked the palm of her right hand before clamping it over Kathy's mouth. Reaching out with the thumb and index finger of her left hand, Jenny pinched the other woman's nostrils closed, completely denying her enemy of oxygen. Kathy twisted and shuffled back and forth on the foam rubber mat, and clawed frantically at Jenny's suffocating hands, trying to dislodge their air-tight grip, but her attacker maintained her hold. The brunette began to buck beneath the blonde, growing more frantic in her struggles to escape, before the blonde decided to put her adversary out of her misery.

Releasing her hands from her opponent's breathing passages, Jenny reached down to clamp them about the dark-haired girl's throat in a textbook stranglehold. Their hold established, the hands started squeezing, thumbs pressing down hard on Kathy's windpipe as Jenny's other fingers coiled tightly about the back of her prey's vulnerable neck. Jenny's elbows rubbed across Kathy's breasts as she poured on the pressure, strangling with all the might in her voluptuous, shapely form.

The battered brunette clutched her attacker's wrists with both hands, but couldn't pry them loose from her agonized neck. She coughed hoarsely as the blonde began throttling her, strong hands snapping the brunette's head back and forth in a sickly, bobbing motion, even as Jenny's thumbs pressed deeper into soft, yielding flesh of Kathy's throat.

The hold would not be broken. The blonde watched her struggling prey weakening in her grasp, her life running out between her fingers. She smiled wickedly as she thought how sweet the brunette's throat felt in her hands, and now she squeezed as hard as she possibly could. Kathy's own hands fell away from Jenny's wrists, her arms splayed uselessly to the sides as the last of her strength eluded her and she conceded defeat. Jenny kept choking and choking until finally she choked Kathy unconscious. She then held her chokehold for another half-minute or so, to make sure the brunette was really out cold, before climbing off of her prone victim and heading for the showers.