Alicia Silverstone vs. Kathy Ireland by aliaswise

Alicia Silverstone sat quietly in the West Hollywood waiting room. The air conditioning hummed softly as she thought happily about the cameo appearance she was to have in the most star-filled picture of the year. A huge paycheck for one days work as a checkout girl in a Ron Howard directed satire. She silently thanked her agent for landing her the part, hands down, no competition. Alicia adjusted her white button-up blouse and made sure it was tucked perfectly into her stylish flowing pants. She uncrossed her legs and admired her new clogs. A satisfied smile on her face.

The door from the outside hall opened and a tall tan woman entered the waiting room and strode confidently to the secretary's desk.

"Kathy Ireland to see Mr. Leonard" Alicia frowned as this was supposed to be a private meeting.

"Of course, go right in..." the secretary responded. Kathy still had not even noticed Alicia and entered the office she had been waiting to enter for the last 15 minutes. Alicia stood in a stupor and stammered to the brunette secretary "Excuse me but I was supposed to be meeting with Mr. Leonard 10 minutes ago!" "oh yes of course, he knows your here." Alicia sat back down, reasoning that Kathy, whom she had never met, must be paying a personal visit. It never crossed Alicia's mind that Kathy may be there for the part.

Hardly five minutes had past when the secretary was buzzed. "yes....ok....I will.....of course."

The older lady turned to Alicia "Mr. Leonard says that you may go, he is sorry for wasting your time but the part has been filled." Alicia was speechless, anger welled up as she realized that Kathy Ireland, who showed up on HER time, wearing jeans and sneakers, who was too old for the part, and couldn't even act, had stolen her part!!! Alicia unsteadily rose to her feet, shakily making her way to the exit.

Once out in the plush hallway she stopped and took several deep breaths. She was shocked! What could she do? This was the type of part that could make a career. As she cleared her thoughts, the secretary walked by, obviously on her way to lunch with her coat and purse. Alicia sat down on a bench in the hallway, brooding heavily. A click down the hall indicated that the office door was opening....

Alicia jaw clenched as Kathy closed the door behind her. And made her way down the hall towards Alicia. Kathy still refused to acknowledge Alicia presence, but in reality was lost in thought. Alicia looked on in complete disgust at the older model as Kathy reached up to adjust her hair. Doing so made Kathy's sweater rise just enough to give Alicia a tiny view of Kathy's flat stomach as she approached. Alicia took this as a brush off and acted on impulse, kicking out with a heavy clog and catching Kathy's shin as she passed. Kathy stumbled and went down hard on all fours as Alicia sprung to her feet. Unsure of what to do Alicia stood in the middle of the hall looking down at Kathy who looked up with anger in her green eyes and furrowed brow. "What the hell was that for?" "You old bitch!" was all that Alicia could manage.

Kathy sat up and rubbed her shin. "You kicked me you little shit!"

Alicia realized what she wanted and launched another kick at Kathy's face. Kathy expression turned to terror as the blow glanced off the side of her head, knocking her flat on her back. Her world turned black with floating stars as she lay on her back rubbing the fast forming knot on her head. She could barely make out the stream of curses gushing from Alicia who drove the tip of her shoes into Kathys ribs several times. Even though Alicia's kicks had little behind them, Kathy cried out with each kick, covering her ribs with her slender arms which absorbed most of the blows.

Kathy moaned softly as Alicia kneeled next to her. "This is quite fun you know. I hope you heal before you play MY PART!" As Alicia gloated, face only inches away, Kathy lashed out and raked her nails across Alicia's face, producing a howl from Alicia who rolled away covering her face. Kathy took her chance and belly-flopped onto Alica. The two beauties rolled, pulling hair and scratching in a classic catfight. Kathy had the upper hand as the mom had spent 4 days a week in the gym and was in great shape. Alicia did not give up anything in weight but 3 inches in height was in lesser shape as she lacked the muscle definition of Kathy.

As the catfight went into its third minute, Alicia realized the taller, stronger, model was gaining the upper hand. Kathy continuously slapped Alicia's baby face and was slamming her into the wall. Alicia frantically jabbed a finger into Kathy's eye and ran, realizing her need for escape. Alicia sprinted down the hall, hearing Kathy gaining quickly. Alicia rounded the corner and saw a lamp on a nearby stand. Without hesitation she pulled off the shade and ripped the plug from the wall. The lamp was heavy Alicia could barely lift it. Kathy turned the corner only to meet the heavy end of the lamp square in the chest, smashing her breasts. Kathy fell back against the wall grimacing as she held her crushed tits.

Instead of running Alicia wanted to punish Kathy, she threw her small fist into Kathy's midriff doubling her over. Kathy was stunned and helpless, just the way Alicia wanted. She took Kathy by the hair and led her over to the lamp stand, a sturdy wooden antique table. Alicia bent Kathy backwards over the table planning to inflict damage on Kathy's perky breasts. Her attention was diverted as Kathy was arched over the table, causing her sweater to rise and reveal most of her tan stomach. Alicia smiled as she inspected Kathy's taut belly, anticipating the pain that she would inflict on her midriff.

"Well, well, well" Alicia taunted as she ran her nails over the helpless tummy. Alicia felt no resistance from Kathy, only a soft painful moaning. "how convenient of your sweater." Just to make sure Kathy was down for the count, Alicia thrust her head into the wall, producing a thud and a yelp.

Alicia jammed her fist into Kathy's hard stomach, her pale fist contrasting sharply with the tan belly. THUMP! Alicia drove her fist three more times into the taut stomach THUMP, THUMP, THUMP!

Kathy was hurting. She hung lifeless over the antique table. Looking at the blurry hall upside down, her arms dangling useless over her head. After a dozen gut punches Alicia stopped to catch her breath and admire her work. "This is a great workout Kathy, too bad you'll never have a chance to try it." THUMP! another tummy tenderizer.

Alicia grabbed the front waist of her victim's Levi's and pulled, making Kathy's back arch impossibly more. She smiled as she inspected Kathy's taut belly. "I have to admit, you have a great stomach, not just as my punching bag, but I mean for being so hard after having a child and all" Alicia dug a sharp thumbnail into Kathy's perfect navel. "A cute belly button too....but perhaps your stomach is a little too fuzzy." Alicia raked the nail up the middle of Kathy's stomach following the line of little blond hairs. Kathy moaned with the advent of this new torture. Kathy's stomach was covered with angry red welts, her belly rose in fell as she gasped for breath. Alicia drove another fist square over the navel, feeling the muscles finally weakening, and loving the grunt that Kathy produced.

Alicia raked her nails across several more times before sinking them into the perfect breasts which were her original target. The pain shot through Ireland's body, making her convulse and thrash. Alicia was surprised at this display of renewed strength and jumped back....

CONTINUED by potbelly@ix.netcom.com (Potbelly)

Alicia Silverstone's double chin and plump belly had so alarmed the producers of her latest film that they stopped filming and, at great expense, sent the young starlet off to a two-week intensive fitness program with Kathy Ireland, the supermodel whose abs workout tape had impressed the studio heads.

It had not gone well. The two egotistical women had had many long and bitter sessions in the gym. Alicia insisted she didn't need any toning, especially from a no-talent like Kathy. To prove it, she tried to keep up with the harsh paces Kathy put her through, but usually she collapsed in a sweaty, panting heap before Kathy had got 100 crunches out of her. The two weeks were more than half over, and petulant Alicia had balked at every attempt Kathy had made to firm her up. And she refused to cut down oh her eating. The two women had hated each other from the get-go, and it wasn't long before cold words turned to little jabs and accidental bumps in passing. It was Kathy who suggested they meet in private to get it all out of their systems. "You pot-bellied slut," she sneered. "If you won't sweat the lard off your gut, I'll beat it off you."

Kathy knew she could teach Alicia a lesson. Alicia, for her part, seemed to relish the idea of "messing up" Kathy, and she seemed to think it would be easy enough to do. Kathy said they could fight in the gym where she trained, rather than Alicia's pampered digs in Hollywood Hills. This would put the fight on Kathy's turf. Alicia didn't care: she just wanted Kathy in the ring.

So on a sunny Sunday afternoon, their last day in each other's company, Alicia pulled her jeep up to the curb in front of a little training gym in a warehouse district in LA. The starlet walked up to the front door, pulled it back and entered the darkness. Her eyes adjusted to a small gymnasium with a ring in the back. The smell of mildew hung in the air and the only light shone from an exposed 40 watt bulb dangled from a cord directly over the ring. The ring was empty; in fact there was no one in the gym. Alicia was just beginning to be glad that Kathy had chickened out, when a metal door creaked in the far corner of the room and Kathy stepped out in gray sweats. Alicia dropped her gym bag and watched glumly as Kathy walked toward the ring. Kathy ignored the actress as she strode to the ring and climbed the steps in the corner up to the apron.

"I'll go change," Alicia said coldly. She disappeared with her bag into the changing room. Kathy limbered in her ring. Alicia emerged, transformed from shy girl to jaunty teen-ager. Black lycra pants hugged her hips, skin-tight. A leopard-print cotton jog bra curved around the swell of her breasts. She put on her acting face along with that suit, Kathy thought. Alicia moved at a bouncy clip, throwing a few shadow punches. She climbed up into the ring, discarded her short silk robe, did a few stretches against the ropes, and then hopped around on the balls of her feet. For all that, she didn't really look like a fighter. She looked like a young woman trying very hard to look like a fighter. For one thing, her outfit was much to chic for a brawl, and the tight fabric only squeezed the flesh of her young body to the middle, where the top and the tights failed to meet, and made her look even more pot-bellied than she was.

Alicia occasionally glanced at Kathy, who did her level best to show no interest. Instead, the older woman slipped her legs out of her sweats and pulled her sweatshirt off, revealing a very basic black one-piece suit with heavy straps and low-cut rounded legs.

Finally, Kathy locked her gaze on Alicia. She looked cool and controlled ... she was something of an actress herself ... and Alicia betrayed her anxiousness by compulsively tugging and adjusting the straps of her leopard-skin bra.

The women came toward each other, Kathy covering more ground than Alicia. At Kathy's prompting, they locked up in a referee's position, with their hands around each other's necks. Alicia immediately tugged hard on Kathy's neck, trying to pull her forward. Kathy shrugged her shoulders and pushed Alicia back a step, breaking the lock-up. They approached again and this time Kathy stepped up to Alicia, planted a foot behind her and tripped her. Alicia landed on her ass and shot a mean glare up at her trainer. Kathy took a step back and waited for Alicia to get to her feet. Once again, they approached, arms outstretched.

Alicia, now eager to retaliate, began to force Kathy backwards. Before they reached the ropes, Alicia brought her arm up to try to snare her opponent in a headlock, both they were both in the wrong positions for that, so Alicia swiped her hand at Kathy's head instead. The side of her fist connected with Kathy's cheekbone, but the blow lacked aim and force.

For one long second, the pair face each other unmoving, both unsure of just what they should do next. Then, perhaps suddenly remembering something she saw in a bad Kung Fu movie, Alicia thrust her right hand out, slashing her fingernails toward Kathy's throat, and shouted, "He-Ya!" In one smooth motion, Kathy juked her head to the side to avoid the blow, and stabbed her fist hard into Alicia's belly. "OOF!" Alicia gasped, and her eyes bugged. Alicia gasped and bent at the waist, grabbing her soft midriff.

Kathy backed off again, waiting for the lesson to sink in. But all that sank in to Alicia's arrogant brain was blind rage. Before she had even fully recovered her breath, Alicia flew at Kathy with fury in her eyes. She fills her fists with handfuls of Kathy's hair, and began to savagely yank her adversary around the ring like a rag doll. Kathy grabbed Alicia's wrists to ease the agony in her scalp. Alicia got her weight into it. She backed up to keep the tension on the hair and the two danced across the ring. Alicia could feel Kathy's fingers squeezing into her wrists and was glad Kathy had short nails. Alicia also realized that she wasn't really hurting Kathy, so she threw her across the ring.

Kathy fell and rolled twice, ending up in a tangle almost underneath the bottom rope. She scrambled to her knees, afraid of being kicked, and grabbed the ropes and started to stand up. But Alicia stomped a foot down on her shoulder and knocked her back to the mat. Alicia raised her knee and aimed her next stomp at Kathy's face, and Kathy just managed to turn away from it as the foot slammed down. Alicia's face broke into a wide, malicious grin, as if to say, "This is going to be even easier than I thought!"

But Kathy fended off Alicia's next stomp and rolled out onto the apron and fell to the floor. Alicia came to the ropes and stood there like a proud gladiator. She flicked her hair out of her eyes with a haughty shake of her head. Kathy got to her knees, took a deep breath and stood up. As she approached the apron and grabbed the bottom rope, Alicia launched a kick at her head. The ropes took most of the impact, but Kathy stepped back a couple of paces. Keeping her eyes on Alicia, Kathy walked carefully up to the apron and reached for the bottom rope again. As Alicia kicked at her one more time, Kathy grabbed the foot and pulled hard, dropping Alicia on her cute rear. Kathy now grabbed both of Alicia's ankles and pulled her out on the apron. Grabbing Alicia around the neck (and maybe using a bit of hair), Kathy pulled her out onto the floor into a tangle and fell back-leaning against the apron with her legs spread. Alicia slapped the floor angrily with her palm and stood up. Kathy looked vulnerable, slouched against the apron, and Alicia strode toward her.

In the next second, Alicia got a lesson in acting. The seemingly wounded and exhausted Kathy, without changing her pose in the least, ducked, unbent her elbow, and sank a fist plump into Alicia's belly. Alicia's body jolted back and her jaw dropped open. A loud "OOOUUUHHH!!" howled from her lungs. With her adversary stunned by the sharp, cramping pain, Kathy grabbed Alicia by the hair, dragged her roughly towards the steel ring post, and flung the hapless blonde towards it. Luckily for Alicia, her shoulder, not her head, took the impact. Still, the sharp pain made her forget she was in a fight. She stood up straight and spun around, grabbing her shoulder. Kathy harked back to her dancing days to teach Alicia her next lesson. A quick flick of the knee unleashed a chorus girl kick that jabbed a dainty pointed-toe shoe into Alicia's belly.

With another violent belly-grunt, Alicia doubled over. In that position it was easy for Kathy to grab the back of Alicia's pants and shoved her forward onto the apron. Kathy climbed into the ring herself, and dragged Alicia back in through the ropes.

Alicia was on her knees, attempting to rally from the hard blows she had taken. Kathy took a few moments to survey her options, and decided to get creative. A swift kick to Alicia's hind quarters knocked the blonde face-forward to the canvas. Another prod with her foot rolled Alicia over onto her back, and then Kathy planted her foot squarely on Alicia's belly, pressing down hard. Alicia's eyes widened in panic as she desperately tried to force the foot off her soft flesh. "My belly! My belly!" she yelled. Kathy bore down with all of her weight. However, her position left her unbalanced. Twisting her body violently, Alicia kicked out from under Kathy's foot, and Kathy fell to one side. Both women rolled to their feet. Suddenly Alicia spit into Kathy's face, and slapped her hard on her right cheek. Without flinching Kathy planted a right cross on Alicia's jaw with a heavy crack, and doubled her over with a knee to the gut. Kathy grabbed Alicia by the hair and put her in a side headlock and cranked it on with all her might. Alicia tried to get out by throwing some shots to Kathy's flank, but every time she did Kathy cranked harder.

Alicia let her knees go soft and dropped to the floor, dragging Kathy down with her. Reaching up and grabbing a handful of Kathy's hair, Alicia found the leverage to break the hold. Both girls scrambled to their feet again, but again Kathy was a step quicker. Alicia was huffing and winded. A punch to her left tit stunned the blond actress, and gave Kathy plenty of time to maneuver her into an armbar. Kathy raised one leg and planted a foot in her opponent's armpit and let herself fall back to the floor. Alicia, dragged down with her by the wrenching pressure on her arm, cried out in pain.

Wide-eyed with desperation, Alicia managed to bend her head and bite Kathy's foot. Kathy yelped and broke the hold, rolling alertly to her feet. Alicia got up slowly, disheveled, her breath coming in loud grunts. A stain of dark sweat formed a triangle between the breast cups of her cotton top. She shook her deadened arm and seemed unable to stand upright.

Kathy drove a fist up into Alicia's left tit to straighten her up, and it knocked the younger woman back into a corner. Kathy waded after her and threw a left, which landed squarely on Alicia's nose, and a right, which dug deep into her fleshy gut. Alicia's breath whooshed out of her mouth again, and she bent far forward, holding her bare belly. A double-fisted blow to the back of the head sent Alicia to her knees. She rested on her knees, belly bulging and heaving as she tried to regain her breath. Her nose trickled blood and an angry red fist-shape splotch covered the pale skin of Alicia's belly.

Kathy saw that the fire was gone from Alicia's eyes. She was pouting and she looked like she was going to cry. But she had no intention of letting the lazy actress quit. She strode up to Alicia, grabbed her by her long blond hair, and pulled her roughly to her feet. Alicia jumped up with a squeal. Kathy then backed up against the ropes, and with Alicia still in her grip she ran across the ring, smashing Alicia's head into the turnbuckle. Alicia sank to the mat clutching her forehead with both hands. Kathy quickly stomped two kicks down on the actress's gut. Alicia's hands flew to her navel as she desperately clutched her aching innards and tried to protect them from further damage.

Picking up Alicia by the hair again. Kathy swung her foe by the arm and flung her back into the corner. Alicia's back and ass plunked into the turnbuckles. She was too beaten to step out, and she just hung there, limply, with her arms draped over the ropes. Kathy, wary that the actress was playing hurt, tested her with a left the gut. Her knuckles met no resistance as they burrowed deep into Alicia's soft flesh. she felt Alicia's stomach squirm inside her and saw the young girl's head bob as her face twisted into a sour "OOF!"

POW! Another fist right in the belly. This time Kathy hits her with all the tension left in her body. Alicia goes over hard, jackknifed at the waist, with Kathy's cold knuckles still deep in her soft hot belly. Alicia is moaning, head lolling, unaware of her new peril. So the next fist, a knuckle shot two inches above the belly-button, catches her as soft and unprepared as the first two did.

"OOUFF!!" she spits, but she can't fold forward this time or clutch her soft gut. She can't even think about resistance or defense. Her brain, paralyzed like her diaphragm, has shut down everything except the command, "BREATHE!" But breath won't come, and as the darkness and buzzing enfolds her brain, Alicia Silverstone drops heavily to her belly on the canvas.

Kathy stands above her fallen foe's body for a long time, panting, gritting her teeth, clenching her fists until the tendons in her wrists ache. A few kicks to the ribs convince her that Alicia is really out cold. Finally she walks off, climbs out of the ring, and returns with a metal pail, which she empties over Alicia's head. The icy water brings the blonde around with a pitiful moan. Kathy stalks off to the dressing room with her sweats in her hand as Alicia flops over onto her back on the mat. The supermodel changes slowly into street clothes and walks out, past the ring, where Alicia sits, dripping, shivering, kicking her legs up and down and throwing a screaming, crying tantrum.