Nicole Kidman vs. Catherine Zeta-Jones by blackcape

Just call me "Horse"; that's what my clients call me anyway, and not because of my face, either. I suppose you could say I act as a counselor, though my specialty isn't in the mental field, but a bit further ‘south.’ Those with whom I do business are the rich and famous, exclusively female, and often desperately in love.

When that fey bastard Ethan Hawke broke up with Uma, who did she turn to, ME! When Britney discovered Justin's indiscretions, who got a knock on his door? Yeah, it was MY door at which I found her. When Angelina and Billy-Bob broke it off, Angelina came to ME for solace. These are just three examples of over a hundred different situations in which I’ve found myself. Now you may be thinking, "That Horse is the luckiest sonovabitch in the world! He has the loveliest women at his disposal and is paid massive amounts of money to satisfy their wanton desires," but believe me, this is NOT an easy occupation! All these females, rich and famous though they may be, are haunted by loneliness, the pressure of stardom and are VERY high-maintenance. I satisfy them as best I can, and (so far) my reputation is solid within the celebrity community. I’ve been servicing women for a number of years now and things generally go off without a hitch…however….the tale I’m about to relate proves that even I am prone to the odd flaw now and then!

Three months ago near midnight, I received a knock at my front door. Now I live in a guarded, gated community, and my clients always make appointments in advance so I knew who I’d see on the other side of the door and wasn’t surprised to see Nicole Kidman, still hurting from her recent breakup with Lennie Kravitz. She looked radiant in a red satin dress, obviously on her way back from a social. Her beautiful eyes sparkled at me as she handed me a stack of hundred and I returned her smile as I led her inside.

"The usual?" I asked, taking her by the hand and guiding her toward the bedroom.

"Obviously!" she replied in her sweetest Australian accent, shedding her gown and undoing her bra as she walked..

Within moments, Nicole was down to just tight pink cotton panties with a band of frilled flowers along the waist. Her body...well, I don't have to tell you how fabulous it is, how full and perky her breasts are, how sleek her thighs, her lips so inviting. I pushed her down onto the queen-sized bed, and she scooted back toward the headboard.

"You've been a very naughty girl," I told her softly, retrieving the terry cloth straps I keep tied to the top corners of the bed frame at all times for just such occassions

"Be gentle," she whispered as I wrapped the straps about her wrists, pulled them taut to take in the slack, stretching her arms to each corner of the mattress.

"Can you move them?" I asked and she struggled gamely against the binds, then shook her head.

"I'm tied down good and proper," she said.

Without responding, I pulled off my shirt, hovered over her succulent form, and began kissing her legendary nose. I moved down to her neck, behind the ear, and heard her gasp with pleasure. I could feel myself growing excited, and then... a knock on the door. And that's when I realized that I had made a terrible mistake. I'd booked two women for the same time!

"Don't stop, lover," Nicole moaned, but the knocking resumed, more insistently this time. I had to answer or my business would suffer! Pulling away from the panting bound beauty, I told her I'd 'be right back' then hurried to the living room. I pulled open the door to come face-to-face with Catherine-Zeta Jones...and did she look pissed!!

"Horse, you stupid mofo! Why didn't you answer the door? I've got to be back to Michael in two hours; I don't have time to waste!"

I took in Catherine at a glance, her beautiful body wrapped in a black silk dress, her hair in a short bob, apparently the result of working on a Spielberg film about some luckless loser in an airport. I hadn't seen her with short hair in quite some time, and the look was fetching. She and Michael Douglas were having marital difficulties, much as one would guess from the difference in age and, shall we say, stamina. Catherine - "Kat" as I liked to call her - had been coming to me for close to five years, and while she wasn't quite as kinky as Nicole she had a sadistic streak that was part and parcel of a voracious sexual appetite.

I was also aware she had a long-standing feud with Nicole stemming from the Best Picture victory by 'Chicago' a few years ago. Nicole felt that 'Moulin Rouge - also a musical - had been slighted by the Academy and all but forgotten in the wake of Chicago's success. All of which was probably true, though her belittling of Kat's singing and acting in subsequent interviews was, I felt, uncalled-for but certainly not out of character since she'd voiced similar sentiments when Charlize Theron's 'Monster' had again stolen the limelight from her performance in 'Cold Mountain.' To have Nicole and Catherine meet now - especially with Nicole bound in the bedroom - would be courting disaster. I admit, I found Kat unbearably attractive, so it was with the greatest regret that I told her I was already occupied.

"Who's the slut this time?" she retorted, elbowing me to one side, crossing the living room and making a beeline for the bedroom door. "Is it that bitch Sandra Bullock, or Talia, the little skank?"

Before I could grab her or even reply, Catherine bolted through the bedroom door and then stopped short when she saw Nicole tied down on the bed. Nicole raised her head at the intrusion, and when she recognized the intruder; their eyes locked and Nicole's eyes widened in surprise.

"What's THAT bitch doing HERE?" they both exclaimed simultaneously.

"Get that cunt out of here!" Nicole screamed. "This is MY time, dammit! Tell her to drag her saggy old ass outta here!"

"Nikki baby, I'm sorry," I stammered. "I forgot all about Kat's appointment. You see, she scheduled it two weeks ago, and in all the excitement of your arrival, I simply forgot all about her."

"Well then, you bastard; untie me and give me back my money!" Nicole screamed, tugging vainly at her bonds.

"NO! Wait..." Catherine said. "I like this. I REALLY like this. Tell you what," she said, turning to me with a sly grin. "I'll pay you TWICE my normal leave her just as she is." How could I refuse such an offer? In seconds, I not only held over two thousand dollars in my hand but I got to watch as Kat shimmied out of her dress, popped off her bra and stood before me in nothing more than tight lace undies. "Now stand up against the wall and relax," she said, unbuckling my pants with nimble fingers, "You've been so good to me for so long, this one's on me." Then turning back toward the bed, Kat hissed, "You know, Nicole, you've had this coming for a long time!"

Standing at the foot of the bed, she grabbed Nicole's ankles and spread her legs wide. The redhead attempted to kick her legs free, but Kat has always had amazing upper-body strength and her attempt was easily overcome. "This will hurt you more than it will hurt me," Kat said, leaping onto the mattress between Nicole's wide-spread legs, driving one silky knee down onto Nicole's pubic mound as she descended.

"AHHHHH!" Nicole screamed, her body arching in agony.

Kat kneeled between her legs, bounced on the mattress and repeated the disabling blow, this time pressing her knee down and grinding viciously, the mattress caving beneath Nicole's splendid ass under the weight of both beautiful women.

"This is too easy," Catherine said, letting Nicole's legs go and standing over her victim with the arrogance of a tigress toying with her prey. With a sudden jump, the brunette leaped in the air, spread her legs in mid-flight and came crashing down butt-first onto Nicole's downy stomach. The entire bed quaking from the impact.

"UUGHHH!" Nicole grunted, air escaping from between her pouty lips.

"How do you like THAT?" Kat snarled, bouncing up and down as Nicole's legs jerked and flew up behind her back. "Not such a loudmouth NOW, are you, bitch?"

Kat began driving her fists straight down into the pale belly beneath her, once, twice, four times, the sound of bone and skin colliding were punctuated by Nicole's grunts of anguish.

"UGHHH! You bitch! Stop..." Nicole gasped, her bound hands twisting uselessly above her head.

"Oh, you think THIS is bad?" Catherine yelled, sliding her magnificent butt up the redhead's body until she was sitting astride Nicole's small, but firm breasts. "Hell, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Catherine arched her back, gathered up a fistful of Nicole's hair in her left hand, and began delivering a series of devastating punches with her right fist; pounding the trapped redhead's face with a series of jackhammer blows. The bed shook wildly g from the impacts as Kat put her entire body into the punches, her round ass mashing Nicole's breasts each time she rocked back to cock her arm for the next punch. "ONE!" Kat counted aloud. "TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX!" As each blow landed until Nicole's face was reduced to the color of a battered and bruised tomato. "Are you sorry you said all of those nasty things about me?" Catherine asked as she sat up, her hands momentarily clasped on her hips.

"Unnnghh." Nicole replied, barely conscious.

"Suit yourself, slut!" Kat said as, reaching down, she clamped her hands onto the redhead beauty's alabaster throat and began a slow squeeze.

"" Nicole sputtered.

"I'm killing you, silly bitch!" Kat replied, tightening her grip and forcing her foe's neck deep into the mattress. Nicole's legs kicked slowly back and forth as Kat pressed all of her weight against her enemy's trachea.

"Ullghh...ulgghhh..." Nicole gasped.

"Don't even think about breathing," Catherine growled. "I won't permit it!" she said as her hands tightened on Nicole's pliant throat until the redhead's breath came in short rasps as the life was being slowly, inexorably squeezed out of her.


"What are you doing?" I shouted, "You're killing her!" Kat gave no sign of recognition to my voice, her eyes glazed over as though in a trance, eager to finish off her foe at any cost. Desperate to stop the slaughter - and worried about the prospect of disposing a body - I cried out, "You're destroying your career!"

At the mention of her livelihood, Kat snapped awake. She looked down at the face of her hated rival, eyes shut tight, nostrils quivering and lips blue.

"What am I doing?" she asked aloud, "I can't choke you to death with my bare hands! That's too...too...personal..." Suddenly her eyes alighted upon the silk pillow above Nicole's head. Grasping it with greedy claws, she immediately pressed it over Nicole's face and pushed down with all her might. "Now I don't have to see this bitch suffer," Kat said simply, as the redhead's legs quivered and thrashed behind her. "Die slut, die!" Kat cried, while Nicole's muffled gasps could only faintly be heard beneath the suffocating pillow. "Ughh!" Kat mewed. "Unnnnhhh!"

I watched in stunned silence as Nicole's gorgeous legs shuffled slowly against the bedspread for what must have been two minutes. It was almost hypnotic- the brunette perched atop her redhead counterpart, snuffing the life from her; black lace panties rubbing taut against her round ass, her back arched, her bare breasts swinging out from her chest as she leaned over, forcing the pillow down onto the face of her enemy. I watched several moments before I realized I had to intervene. Springing forward, I took the pillow and wrenched it from Catherine's hands.

"If you kill her, it will HAVE to be personal," I said.

Catherine gazed down at Nicole's face, flushed bright red with the sudden inflow of oxygen, eyes sporadically fluttering open.

"You're right," Kat replied, slithering down Nicole's prone form, thighs encircling her victim's waist. "I'll use my assets!" Arching up momentarily, Catherine wrapped her arms around Nicole's head and then plunged her breasts onto the redhead's face for a classic breast smother.

"What's the matter?" Kat cried as Nicole's body arched off the mattress at this latest indignity. "Still can't breathe? Well tough shit honey!" Catherine drove Nicole's face even deeper into her cleavage, her breasts bulging against the sides of Nicole's face. "Uhhhh! Uhhhh! Uhhhh!" Catherine grunted, as she ground down upon the half-conscious countenance beneath her.

Nicole's legs kicked slowly as the seconds ticked by. Ten seconds. Thirty seconds. Sixty seconds. Kat held fast while her enemy slowly went under. I felt certain that Catherine would tire of this sport, that her sadistic tendencies would reach an apex and fade, but the brunette wasn't through yet. After almost two minutes of breast-smothering, Kat arched up and released her hold, Nicole's face falling from between those perfect breasts with a soft sucking sound.

"Wake up, you Australian slut!" Catherine yelled, smacking her face for emphasis until Nicole's eyes opened weakly and she let out a low moan. "Are you awake?" Kat cried, crawling atop her enemy to perch once more atop those perfect, milky tits. "Are you sorry yet? Huh? Are you?"

Nicole's lips quivered slightly and she shook her head slowly from side to side. "" she murmured.

"NOT the right answer," Kat shot back. Taking Nicole's hair in both hands, Catherine thrust herself forward and shoved her pussy into the redhead's face. Nicole tugged frantically against the terry cloth binds, but her strength was almost gone.

"Give me that pillow!" Catherine-Zeta ordered. I tossed it at her and she immediately propped it beneath Nicole's head for better leverage. She then spread her luscious legs and leaned into Nicole's face, grinding harder against that pouty mouth and illustrious nose, billowy breasts pressed up against the headboard as she thrust her hungry womanhood against her hated foe.

"Uhhh! Uhhh! Unnnnghhhh!" Catherine snarled, breasts knocking against the wooden headboard with each thrust. Once more, Nicole was seconds away from complete unconsciousness, when suddenly the pussy battering stopped. Kat moved to a squatting position, then stood over Nicole's violated face and called to me.

"Hold her head straight, won't you?" Kat asked. I came forward and did as instructed as the brunette actress spun to face Nicole's feet, squatted once more, and smashed her succulent ass onto the redhead's features for a reverse facesit.

"Keep holding her head still," Catherine instructed, and reaching back, spread her ass-cheeks wide until Nicole's face was completely engulfed by her round and firm buttocks. Kidman's legs kicked spastically and her breasts arched upward between Kat's thighs as she attempted to take in the air that was no longer there.

"OK, you can let go now," Kat told me, as she began to grind harder and harder onto the face of her victim, the back of Nicole's head sinking completely into the pillow beneath her. The brunette rocked and thrust and ground away for what seemed like an eternity, but was in actuality about two minutes, her buttocks clenching and unclenching like a rhythmic trap, the entire mattress swaying with her movement, Nicole's body convulsing, twitching and then going limp for a final time as Catherine, growing stimulated, began to moan in ecstatic pleasure. Finally, with one last great thrust, Kat cried out and collapsed onto the now motionless form beneath her. I could see clear liquid flowing freely from between Catherine's legs and knew that she had reached her climax for the evening.

Quivering with the after-affects of her orgasm, Catherine-Zeta Jones slowly got to her feet and stood on the mattress, her legs straddling Nicole Kidman's beautiful body which looked magnificent even in defeat. Then, in a final act of cruelty, Kat placed her left foot atop the redhead's neck and stepped down with all of her weight, crushing it deep into the mattress. Nicole's breasts arched upward in response to the pressure, but the actress was definitely unconscious and posed no threat to the brunette. Not that she could have been one with her arms securely bound to the bed frame.

"I should kill her right now," Catherine said. "But I think I'll save you the trouble of getting rid of her body...for now." With a final grind of her heel, Catherine stepped off of Nicole's body and dismounted. "I think you just cost me some business," I said, watching my client slither back into her black dress.

"If that bitch is the best client you've got, you'd best find a new career," Kat sneered. "When she wakes up, tell her if she wants a rematch, I'll be ready and waiting."

"I'm sure that'll appeal to her," I replied. "You know what they say about redheads and their tempers."

"Yes, well, that WAS fun," Catherine said as she turned and heade for the front door.

"Give my regards to Mike," I said with intended irony.

"I'll do that," she replied with a smile; then she was gone.

Nicole awoke an hour later and after I untied her, she left in a rush. I haven't heard from either woman since.

As I'm sure readers of this site are well aware, there are bitter rivalries between the rich and powerful women in the entertainment industry. Often we read of these exploits and believe them to be amusing diversions from everyday life, but my experiences with these two women has left me to question the integrity of my employment and the undeniably vicious nature of human instinct that cannot be tamed by social graces or mores. Perhaps these physical altercations may be seen as metaphors for the true "dog-eat-dog" aspect of Hollywood and its ilk, but whatever the case may be, my business continues to thrive and I feel sure these women will almost certainly meet again one day in a battle that only one will walk away from. May God ensure that such a day never arrives!