Claire King vs. Carol Vorderman by Harry

This battle of forty-something TV stars could have been a God send to the small TV Company making the program they appeared on. Blonde Claire had been the star of the second rated UK soap opera, Emmerdale, an everyday story of northern country folk. She chewed up the scenery as the rich bitch in the village with ever more outlandish plot lines until her salary demands had her written out. Subsequent roles had been the same trashy sort as most ex-soap stars; they paid the bills without bringing the same level of publicity.

Carol Vorderman, a raven-haired Mensa (a high IQ society) member, made a career demonstrating her towering intellect on various TV shows. Thinking herself a colossus of the small screen, she branched out into ever more trashy, low brow programs involving home improvement, dieting and 'lifestyle' issues - coupled with risqué lads mag photo shoots displaying an impressive body that made the staid female members of Mensa livid.

The two found themselves in a London TV studio shooting a program in which they impersonated famous singers and mimed to a chosen song. All undemanding stuff, but with their inflated ego's friction soon arose in squabbles over dressing room, outfit, who was on first and for how long. Then Carol overheard a production staffer suggest the cattiness could be great publicity for what would otherwise be a time filler in the schedule. Sensing an opportunity for self-aggrandizement and publicity, Carol began deliberately ragging on and irritating Claire, who'd already put up with far too many overpaid and under-talented costars on Emmerdale and she responded in kind.

Things came to a head when Carol declared she wanted to dress up as Cher and asked for black thigh-hi boots. The assistant told her the only pair were with Claire and she was wearing them. Carol announced she'd collect them and flounced off to find the blonde who was standing in a rest area drinking water from a plastic bottle. The ex-soap star was indeed wearing the black leather, zip-up thigh-high boots along with a mid-thigh leather jacket under which glimpses of her black bra and panties could be seen. Carol was dressed in black ankle boots, black fishnet stockings, a short tight leather mini- and a sleeveless black and white lace-up leather top.

Claire stared in on Carol even as she approached, "What do you want now Carol?"

"The boots Claire, dear! I need them for my Cher number," replied Carol, her voice dripping with bitchiness.

"Don't make me laugh, bitch," sneered Claire,. "Why don't you push off back to afternoon TV."

"Like your last role dearie?" smirked Carol. "Now, give me the boots now or else," she threatened, giving Claire's shoulders a shove.

"You bitch! I've had it with you," snapped the blonde, throwing aside her water bottle and slapping Carol.

Carol squealed at the stinging blow, but brought up her own right hand to Claire's face. Within moments both women were stood toe-to-toe, face-to-face hands in each other's hair pulling and tussling. As they staggered about they both realized that their footwear might look good on screen but was impractical for a fight. For Carol the learning curve was steeper still as this was her first physical confrontation since her university days, bur she soon realized that copying her blonde opponent's moves inflicted as much pain as she was suffering. Particularly effective was grabbing and pulling the hair at the back of Claire's head which produced a rewarding grunt of pain. Claire had more experience in playing the, and fighting like a, bitch both on and off screen. With both hands in Carol's short black hair, Claire was able to shake her head about, pulling it back straining Carol's neck and making her squeal.

This alarmed Carol who'd been expecting a simple, brief bitch tussle, not a lengthy, painful and damaging catfight. With a growing sense of desperation, Carol began to use one hand to slap Claire's face and body but she quickly realized Claire's leather jacket protected her from the full force of her blows so she grabbed a handful of the black material and pulled it open so more of Claire's body was visible on camera.

"So bitch you want to get heavy do you?" sneered Claire bringing down one of her own hands and grasping the V-neck of Carol's top and starting to pull. "Lets see what sort of bitch hides under your brainy slut image!"

As she started tugging, shaking Carol back and forth, her leather top started to become undone baring her black lace bra. As they staggered back and forth and their bodies collided, leather rubbed then broke apart again, all of which had an affect on both. With her greater experience, it was Claire who saw and took note of Carol's hardening nipples as they pushed and thrust out of her top. She pushed Carol away and dropped both hands.

Carol thought it was a sign actress was about to give up and started to smile, until she saw...then felt, Claire's hands grab her breasts and start to squeeze! This was a new experience for Carol and she gasped in shock and surprise - things like this just did NOT happen at Mensa! She tried to respond by increasing her hair pulling, trying to force Claire to release her breasts, but to no avail. Claire just bit her lip and pushed harder on Carol's breast, forcing the soft flesh to mushroom on her rib cage. Carol let out a flurry of expletives that would've shocked - and delighted - her fans as Claire brought her booted foot up and scraped the edge of her sole and heel down Carol's stockings, laddering and ripping them apart

"You bitch!!" hissed Carol as she used both hands to force Claire's head sharply backward, completely swept up in the intensity of the fight.

With one foot off the ground, Claire overbalanced and fell backward on the carpet, dragging her brain box opponent with her. Claire hit the floor with a loud "oommpphh" her legs spread. The fall was followed immediately by a strangled shout as Carol landed on top of her.

The more inexperienced catfighter, Carol realized she had the advantage and wasn't slow to exploit it. Being between Claire's booted legs, she rose on her knees pressing them against the inside of the soap actresses thighs and simultaneously pulling open her faded rock chick, leather jacket to reveal an expensive silk black bra that couldn't disguise Claire's hard nipples. They were too tempting a target and Carol clamped both hands onto Claire's breasts and started to squeeze, slowly digging her fingers into the delicate flesh.

Claire quickly recovered from her fall and realized what was happening; something similar had happened in a fight on Emmerdale that got out of hand. She instinctively brought up her legs, between which Carol was kneeling, and wrapped them around her waist in a scissors. She locked her ankles and started to squeeze. As the shock registered on Carol's face, Claire sat up and delivered a slap across Carol's face, then grabbed her short black hair and started to pull. You didn't need to be a Mensa to know Carol was suddenly at a disadvantage, caught in Claire's scissors. She stopped attacking Claire's breasts and tried to pry her hands from her hair; all the time groaning as she fought the ever-increasing constriction around her body.

"I'll show you who's the better bitch!" snarled Claire, intent on destroying Carol; yanking her head back as far as she could.

Carol squealed as she grabbed Claire's long blonde hair and pulled, shaking her head about. Claire responded, tightening her scissors and hanging on, certain Carol would submit before too long. But this actually made Carol more desperate to get free of her and, in her desperation, she pulled a hand from Claire's hair and used it to thump at exposed breasts; punching, slapping, scratching and pinching until the sensitive flesh turned red. Claire let out a stream of expletives as she endured the pain, but she still clung stubbornly to Carol, straining her thigh muscles as much as the pain allowed, shaking the TV presenters head in her fist.

Amid the torrent of abuse and invective, Carol knew she couldn't take too much more, it was affecting her ability to breathe and the pain was causing tears to well in her eyes. In blind desperation, she resorted to an old school ground tactic, taking her hand from inside Claire's leather jacket and grabbed her panties, giving them a hard pull. After a few moments silence Claire let out a loud "OH FUCK!" as, unseen by Carol, her face went white. Seeking relief from the burning in her crotch, Claire gave up the scissors and released Carol's hair, using her hands to protect herself instead which suited Carol just fine. She pushed the blonde away and retreated, groaning and panting.

Although intent on attending to her own pain, Claire nevertheless lashed out with her booted feet and, by luck, her heel caught on Carol's the leather top, ripping it open and baring an uncharacteristically sexy bra and the top of her panties where her skirt had ridden down. A second kick failed to make contact, but as her foot brushed the TV presenter's stockings it added a few more rips and ladders. The kicking convinced Carol to back away further and she dragged herself over the floor, watching Claire adjust herself as she got to her knees. For both women this had now gone well beyond a media-inspired tussle and they both knew it could now end in only one way!

Having put distance between her and Claire, Carol's back hit the wall and she was about to stand up when she saw Claire moving toward her on her knees. With no time to stand, Carol lashed out with her boot hoping to fend Claire off. The first two kicks made Claire dodge, but she caught Carol's right ankle when she tried a third attempt.

"Got you now bitch!" Claire hissed.

Claire was in full 'bitch mode' now, pulling hard Carol's ankle. Carol gasped but kept her wits about her and slammed the other foot into Claire's stomach, knocking her backward and over. As she fell on her back, Claire's leather jacket fell open and "the bitch" was replaced by a moaning, whimpering, 40-something woman. Carol scrambled to her knees and threw herself on top Claire before she knew what was going on.

Kneeling astride Claire's waist, Carol reached forward, grabbed Claire's bra and pulled it down to bare her breasts - and she noted with a pang of jealousy they showed no signs of sag or aging. Although catfighting was new to Carol, she reached out vengefully and grabbed them both, squeezing and twisting only because her neatly trimmed nails were too short to be used as effective weapons. Claire reacted as if she'd been touched by a cattle prod and fought strenuously to defend herself. Unhindered by a skirt, and still fit, Claire was able to snap her knee up into the base of Carol's spine. It landed solidly knocking the 'Countdown' presenter forward. Rather than fall on Claire, she put a hand out to steady herself.

Carol's tattered leather top flapped open, exposing her full breasts as they hung down - a tempting target. Claire grabbed Carol's hair with one hand, shaking her head from side to side while her other hand roughly pulled Carol’s bra down, spilling her fulsome breasts out into the cool air. Carol gasped and groaned at the assault on her breasts, even louder once Claire's fingers closed around her right breast, squeezing and pulling at it.

The two women concentrated on their mutual one-handed breast brutalizing for a minute or more, until Claire used her hold on Carol’s hair to pull her over to the side. Their bodies pressed together, making their mutual breast holds difficult. Instinctively, Carol's hands went for Claire’s hair tugging and pulling as they started to roll across the floor. Claire matched the hair hold initially, but then shifted her hand and grabbed Carol's leather skirt, pulling it up. Carol tried to prevent this, maneuvering herself to be on top, but she couldn’t maintain the position for more than a few moments before the two battling women rolled again.

With a few hard tugs Claire managed to pull off the Countdown presenters skirt down, then off and tossed it aside. Beneath was a black g-string! Carol squealed in rage and embarrassment at this development, but she tried to use her grip on Claire’s hair to bang her head on the floor as they rolled. At the same time, Carol tried to spread her body out and pin Claire to the floor. This pressured her g-string down onto Claire's panties and ensured that their bare breasts flattened together. Finding herself pinned to the floor unable to roll made Claire desperate.

With a hand tangled in Carol's hair pulling and tugging, Claire used her other to scratch and rip at her fishnets, shredding them. Carol shrieked as Claire’s fingers attacked her white thighs while she kept hold of Claire's blonde hair, shaking her head as violently as she could. But the very closeness to the trashy actress limited Claire’s attack as they were face to face. Not that this was a piece of cake for Claire either, as her shrieks melded with Carol’s as she was convinced she was losing large clumps of her hair. Claire pulled Carol's head back with a cruel yank on the hair at the nape of her neck, following by now using her other hand to attack the dark-haired woman's vulnerable crotch.

Initially, Claire pulled the skimpy - and damp!! - g-string into a wedgie, but when she wasn’t satisfied she was hurting Carol enough, she pushed her hand under and used her fingers to attack Carol’s sensitive womanhood. Unable to defend herself, Carol screamed in pain as Claire mercilessly pulled her dark pubic hair and scratched her swollen labia.

No longer concerned with victory, only wanting relief from the pain and abuse she was suffering, Carol tried to push Claire away from her so she could escape. She slapped and scratched Claire's with the desperation of a trapped animal until the actress broke off her assault on the presenters pussy. But before Carol could truly break away, Claire gathered two handfuls of black - and now ruined - hair and used it to push Carol over onto her back. Shaking Carol’s head from side to side, Claire growled like an animal as Carol struggled, desperately trying to fight back as tears welled up and started to roll down her ruddy, flushed cheeks as her hands slapping blindly at Claire's breasts and face. The slapping only filled Claire with a greater resolve to finish Carol off and she raised her body slightly until she was able to bring her snapping forward forcefully, slamming it into crybaby Carol’s crotch.

"Do you give slut?" snarled Claire in no mood to be messed about.

Carol's only reply was a whimper and a soft moan of defeat. It took Claire two more brutal knees, making sure the black leather of the hard plastic knee pad of her thigh-high boots made full, solid, contact before Carol finally gasped out her submission. Had she known Claire would have continued her assault for several more minutes after she submitted, Carol may have fought on, but she was in no shape. Indeed, all she could do was lay there, her long legs forcibly spread wide by Claire’s body, and endure the continuous slamming, taking the pain and hoping against hope her torment would end sooner - rather than later. When the time came, Claire knelt over Carol’s crimson, tear-stained, puffy and twisted-in-pain face. Claire slowly pulled her panties aside and leered as she slowly lowered her pussy onto the face of the beaten TV presenter. Carol no longer knew what day it was, let alone what was about to happen to her.

When she finally came too much later, she knew something unpleasant had happened from the sticky wetness on her face. It took only a few moments for her to realize what she was feeling wasn't blood - then she threw up! The only consolation for Carol (and a major disappointment for Claire) was that no one saw her humiliation. The film crew had been busy watching a young female 'Z List' celebrity wearing an outrageous outfit, ruin another perfectly harmless song.