Miranda Lambert vs. Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift & Kellie Pickler by Clyde

After winning American Idol, Carrie had taken country music by storm with song after song on the radio and then capturing several awards - including Female Vocalist of the Year. She was on top of the world until the final award show of the year when up-and-coming Miranda came out of nowhere to win Album of the Year! Carrie was livid. She could be one of the sweetest people on the earth, but she had a vicious side that few people knew about. A month later, Carrie came up with a plan to humble the Texas blonde. She knew what gym Miranda worked out at and paid several friends to ensure everyone was out of the gym so she could confront her. Carrie brought two friends with her, Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler.

Miranda had been running on the treadmill for about an hour. Her cutoff white T-shirt was covered in sweat and her body covered in perspiration. Her long blond pony tail was slightly darkened and damp. She had her ipod cranked up and didn’t even notice that the Gym had been cleared out, until the lights in the room adjacent to her had been turned off. She tuned off her music and treadmill and turned to see if anyone was left in the building. As she turned around, she was startled to see Carrie, Taylor and Kellie standing almost right behind her.

“Carrie! My, y’all scared the crap out of me,” she said in her Texas drawl. “What are y’all doin’ here?”

Carrie replied as she stepped onto the treadmill to get in Miranda’s face. “Listen, I’m gonna cut right to the chase, Country music is changing, and I’m the big dog around here now, and I don’t need you trying to take that from me, do I make myself clear?”

Miranda, thinking this was all a joke, chuckled as she replied, “Y’all can’t be serious! Where’s the sweet Carebear I know?”

Without warning, Carrie smacked an unsuspecting and tired Miranda right off the treadmill and on to her ass. Carrie then reached down and grabbed Miranda’s pony tail and drug her to the wrestling ring in the next room. Miranda tried to fight back, but Taylor and Kellie grabbed her arms and then threw her into the ring. Miranda landed hard on her back, knocking the wind out of her.

“Oh, not only am I serious, but the sweet little Carrie you know, is out for lunch. I’m gonna beat the crap outta you right here and now. Taylor and Kellie are just gonna hang around to make sure it’s a fair fight,” she said and winked at her girls.

Carrie then jumped into the ring, and once again, hauled Miranda up by her sweaty blond pony tail. Carrie grabbed Miranda’s sweet face by the chin and got in her face. “I hope you know how to wrestle, so I have a little competition slut,” she said in a sweet, sultry, voice.

Carrie looked dominant, in her black tank top, black leather shorts, and her gorgeous blond hair flowing freely behind her. Miranda in stark contrast was hot sweaty and tired from her workout. Just at Carrie let go of Miranda’s face, the Texas firecracker fired a short fast jab right to the American Idol’ perfect nose, crunching it and bringing forth a gusher of blood.

“I can’t wrestle, but I sure as hell can FIGHT; you overrated Barbie doll!” screamed the intensely angry Miranda.

As the shocked Carrie grabbed her nose, Miranda shot another hard fist right into Carries right boob. Carries shrieked in pain. Miranda new she had to incapacitate Carrie, so she could deal with Taylor and Kellie. Carrie was in total shock at how fast this had turned around. With out warning, Miranda sent a vicious knee right to Carries pussy, causing the hot blond to drop to her knees wincing in pain.

“You cheating bitch, get her Kellie”, Taylor screamed, as she jumped on the ring apron. Miranda’s adrenaline was going a hundred miles and hour, so before Kellie could make it to the ring, she ran over and nailed her in the face with her knee. Kellie flew off the ring apron, and smacked the back of her head hard, leaving her writhing in pain on the floor, holding her head. Miranda turned around just as Taylor swung a powerful right hand toward her face. Miranda leaned back, barely avoiding the blow by inches. Her momentum sent Taylor spinning and as the sexy young blond whirled around, the back of Taylor’s head was toward Miranda. The hot and sweaty blond didn’t hesitate to grab two thick handfuls on Taylor’s long soft curly sandy brown hair. Taylor yelped at the violent grip, then cried out as Miranda yanked her head backward, stretching her neck and slamming her to the ground. Miranda didn’t hesitate to stomp Taylor’s midsection about 10 times, crushing her soft abs to jelly.

Taylor just curled up into a ball and whimpered, “No more…please…stop…”

Miranda then turned her attention back to Carrie, who was still on her knees, trying to stop the bleeding from her broken nose. Miranda walked over to Carrie, slapped her hands away from her face, and viciously grabbed Carries nose, and twisted it painfully, causing Carrie to Shriek and cry. Miranda let go of Carries nose after about two minutes of intense torture, then slipped her fingers tightly into Carries soft blond hair, and yanked her to a wobbly, but standing position. She Hair-mared Carrie on top of Taylor, causing her to crush her friend.

You stupid backwoods Barbie Doll’s messed with the wrong bitch. I will never forget this, and when I catch you sluts by your selves, I’m gonna really teach a lesson. Miranda slid to the floor, and grabbed Kellie by the hair, stood on the apron, and pulled her up slowly and painfully, then she flipped Kellie onto the other two girls. Miranda then went over to Carries purse and found some red lipstick. “This will work just fine” She said with an evil grin on her face.

Miranda climbed back into the ring, tore Kellie’s shirt down the middle, so her brand new boobs were visible, and wrote across her chest, “Mine!” Then she pulled Kellie off, threw her into the corner and went back to write in big red letters on Carries forehead, “Mine” Next, she lifted Carrie up and dumped her in the other corner upside down, locking her legs so she couldn’t get loose while she went back to Taylor who she kicked over onto her belly and wrote in big red letters on her ass, “Mine.” Finally, she went to Carrie who was hanging upside down, pulled her hed up by her soft blond hair and straddled her as she lifted her face up between her spread legs.

She looked down and said, “Next time I see you, I’m really going to teach you a lesson, you stupid little bitch!”

She slammed the back of Carries head brutally to the mat, knocking her unconscious and leaving her humiliated. Miranda knew she’d been lucky to have caught them off guard - extremely lucky - so she left the broken girls in the ring and left the building as quickly as she could. This was far from over and she hoped she would be as lucky next time.