Britney Spears vs. Avril Lavigne (boxing) Copyright 2002 by John J. All rights reserved.

Britney sat on her stool, impatiently waiting for the fight to start as Christina Aguilera, her coach and assistant for the match, laced up her gloves. Britney glared daggers across the ring at her opponent and hated enemy, Avril Lavigne. She'd heard the comments from the young Canadian upstart and although she tried to ignore the girl at first, her comments grew bolder and bolder until Britney finally had enough. She blew up after she read another series of biting remarks from Avril. Britney had her agent call Avril's agent and accept her challenge.

In the opposite corner, Avril was as anxious to tear into Britney as the blonde was. Michelle Branch was Avril's coach and assistant for the fight and she helped Avril with her gloves and gave the Canadian teen some pre-fight advice as she laced up her gloves.

Finally having Britney across the ring from her, and glaring angrily, Avril wondered if she'd been wise in taking so many shots at the reigning pop queen. But she quickly put those thoughts aside and told herself she'd been in numerous fights and could handle Britney as easily as she had the other bitches she'd put in their place!

A very close, and very wealthy, friend of Britney's agent offered the boxing ring in the basement gym of his secluded mansion for the fight. All parties involved accepted the location as definitely private and secluded since neither side wanted uninvited guests or media to find out and show up to ruin the fight. The audience was small and selective as requested by both Britney and Avril. There were only eight people in the audience, most music executives and most male. Both Britney and Avril were shocked that two female record executives asked to see the fight. Two others were wealthy industrialists who bought tickets for $100,000 each. Both had gotten approval from Britney and Avril to be there for no amount of money paid for the tickets could have gotten them in without their OK.

Fight time arrived as J-Lo climbed into the ring, clicked on her mic and announced breathlessly, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to this private grudge fight between two lovely female singing stars. I'm Jennifer Lopez, and I hate being called J-Lo. I'll be the referee for this evening's match which both ladies agreed will be boxing with no rounds, no breaks. The fight will end when one is knocked out or gives up."

J-Lo paused dramatically, then, "And now, the two competitors for this boxing match!" The small crowd whistled and clapped, but quickly settled down to let J-Lo continue, "The challenger hails from Canada - a fast rising star in the singing world and growing in popularity every day. Let's hear it for Avril Lavigne!"

The crowd whistled and hollered as Avril strutted around a bit, showing off her sexy little powder blue string bikini and high heels.

After the crowd settled down, J-Lo went on, "The champion is the reigning queen of teen pop, a multi-platinum selling singer and one of the top female recording artists in the world. Hailing from Louisiana, let's give a big round of applause to Britney Spears!"

The crowd roared for Britney as the sexy blonde strutted around showing off her incredible tits and gorgeous ass in a minuscule white bikini, for the mostly male crowd. As Britney settled back into her corner, the crowd's hollering quieted down as well.

With both singers in their respective corners; J-Lo went on, "Ladies, you both know the rules. There aren't many. No low blows, no hitting your opponent when she's down and no interference from your assistants. There'll be no standing eight counts and no TKOs. Only a KO or a submission counts. Awright ladies, when you hear the bell, come out fighting!"

She backed out of the way and signaled for the bell which rang with a loud "CLANG!" The crowd eased forward in their seats with eager anticipation as the two lovely singers stepped from their corners and closed the distance. Both moved in with their gloves raised, setting their defenses. As they came in range, Britney swung a hook to Avril's head but the little brunette ducked gracefully under the punch, came up and countered with an uppercut to Britney's ribs.

Britney gasped as air shot out of her lungs, but the young blonde quickly recovered and reset her defenses as she backed up a couple steps. Avril bore in on Britney and fired a hook at the blonde's head. Britney blocked the wide, clumsy punch and retaliated with a jab that wove straight through Avril's defenses and plowed into her cleavage, forcing her back a step and bringing a little 'o' to her lips.

She quickly repositioned her defense as she backed away and Britney stalked, following her hard-breathing rival. Avril surprised the blonde as she suddenly stopped and stood her ground. Avril set quickly and heaved an uppercut under Britney's chin that hit solidly. The blonde staggered back, jolted by the blow and Britney raised her hands as she wobbled a few steps.

Avril charged in and fired a hook at the retreating blonde's head. Her head snapped to the side as the punch landed flush. Avril continued to pursue as she fired a jab at Britney's ribs. But Britney blocked this punch and countered with her own hook to the jaw that staggered Avril. She looked glassy-eyed as she retreated and Britney went over on the offensive as she chased the brunette down.

Britney fired another hook at Avril's head that landed with a loud THUD and brought a groan from Avril. Britney continued to attack as she put a short, hard jab to the brunette's ribs and then another hard right into her bra, flattening her boobs! Avril reeled backward but another hook to the jaw snapped her head to the side. The brunette staggered briefly, then and dropped to one knee, hunched forward with her head hanging down over her arms which were folded over her raised knee.

J-Lo immediately rushed in and pushed Britney away, then J-Lo turned around and started to count.

"1...." She didn't even get the one all the way out before Avril was back on her feet and nodding she was ready.

J-Lo looked the brunette over and asked, "You OK?"

Avril nodded her head angrily and huffed, "Yeah! Lemme at that bitch!"

J-Lo shrugged as she stepped aside and waved her arms together, "OK! Fight, ladies!"

As soon as J-Lo stepped back, Avril charged at Britney and swung wildly for the blonde's head. Britney deflected the blow with no difficulty and replied with a solid right to the gut that took the wind out of Avril's lungs. Wide-eyed, Avril backpedaled as she tried to reset her defense and get some air. But Britney moved with Avril and unloaded at the brunette's head. Avril ducked the punch and came back up with an uppercut that almost pounded Britney's right tit flat!

Britney grunted in pain, gritted her teeth against the pain in her tit and winged another punch at Avril's head and this one landed! Avril took a step back, her eyes looking slightly dazed. Britney went after the brunette and fired a couple of body shots that backed Avril backward until her butt hit the ropes in the corner. Trapped in the corner, Avril tried to cover up behind her raised gloves as Britney bore down. An uppercut to the jaw snapped Avril's head back and a follow-up hook to the jaw turned it to the side.

A combination of straight punches to the ribs and tits drew a groan from the brunette but as Britney swung at Avril's head again, the brunette lunged forward and clinched with Britney. With their bodies pressed tightly together, neither J-Lo nor many in the audience could see Avril put a clear low blow into Britney's bikini bottom. Britney groaned in pain as the punch landed and her knees took a low dip. Avril didn't get a chance to fire another dirty punch, as J-Lo moved in fast and broke up the clinch.

She pushed the two fighters apart and since she'd seen enough of the low blow, J-Lo shook her finger at Avril as she warned, "No low blows, girls. Let's keep this fight fair. Now, Fight!"

Avril protested, "Hey! I didn't low blow her! Get some glasses, bitch!"

J-Lo refused to argue, "I know what I saw. Now, I said fight unless you're giving up?"

Avril wasn't paying attention to Britney, who had closed in with her from the side. As Avril continued to argue with J-Lo, she saw Britney out of the corner of her eye. When she turned toward her, Britney was right on top of her. As Avril turned, Britney drilled a solid right into her side and the brunette grunted. Britney shot a jab into her face and Avril staggered back with a trickle of blood flowing from her nose. The brunette tried to check her nose with her glove, but Britney took advantage of the distraction and pounded a hard left-right combination into the teenager's firm little boobs.

Avril dropped her hands down to protect her tits and Britney made her pay as she drove a hard, straight jab to the brunette's face again. Avril wobbled back glassy-eyed and caught herself by grabbing the ropes to steady herself. Britney moved in grinning and fired a right into Avril's gut. The brunette wheezed and gasped as the punch drove all the air out of her lungs. As Britney wound up for another punch, Avril threw herself at Britney and wrapped her arms around the blonde once again. Then Avril snapped her head up and head-butted the blonde. Avril immediately released her clinch and let Britney stagger away, seeing stars.

Avril charged in and drove a hook to Britney's jaw that snapped the blonde's head to the side and as Britney reeled, she put another hook into Britney's jaw from the other direction, snapping the blonde's head back again. Britney staggered, dazed as Avril loaded up and unleashed an uppercut up under Britney's jutting chin. The blonde fell backward into the ropes and before J-Lo reached her, Avril pounded Britney's unprotected torso with several shots to the gut as Britney slowly slid down the ropes to the canvas.

Avril raised her arms up high. With a huge smile on her face, she said, "YES!"

J-Lo wrestled Avril away and started the count-out, "1... 2... 3..." as Britney rolled onto her side.

J-Lo continued, "4... 5..." by which time Britney was up on one knee.

J-Lo went on, "6... 7... 8..." Britney pulled herself to her feet at the eight-count and J-Lo checked her, "You wanna continue?"

Britney hissed, "Yeah. Let me at her!"

Britney glared nastily at Avril as J-Lo moved aside and said, "OK. Fight!"

Avril rushed in and threw a hook at Britney's head. The blonde got her glove up to block and slammed her own jab into Avril's boob. Shel hurriedly backpedaled as she reset but Britney followed and put a hook into Avril's jaw that continued her backing away. But then Avril stopped and fired her own jab at Britney's face - which hit nothing but air! Britney was ready for her little trick this time and sidestepped the punch, leaving Avril wide open for Britney's counterpunch to the jaw. Avril groaned as her jaw began to throb.

Britney continued on the attack as she fired more punches at Avril's head. The teen staggered under the blonde onslaught as Britney caught her on the jaw once again. Avril leaned back over the ropes and Britney let her hands fly, flattening the teen's boobs with a flurry of punches to her tits.

Avril stumbled along the ropes, covering her aching tits with her open gloves as Britney chased after her. As Britney moved in and wound up, the brunette let fly with a desperation punch aimed at the blonde's head. Britney ducked under the wild swing and came up with a backfist that whipped across Avril's jaw, than immediately with a quick jab that hit the brunette in the eye.

Avril wobbled back; dazed and somewhat blurry-eyed. Her defenses had started to weaken a bit and Britney took advantage with yet another hook to the jaw. Avril staggered again, clearly dazed. Another shot to the jaw left Avril clearly stunned! Britney moved in and put an uppercut into the brunette's gut. Avril wheezed and gasped as she bent double over Britney’s arm. Brit shoved the brunette back with her other forearm and Avril tumbled back into the ropes. She cried out in pain as Britney pounded another shot to her belly.

As Avril’s body recoiled off the ropes from the impact, a perfectly aimed hook into the side of the head dropped her to the canvas where she rolled over onto her back showing a puffy, swollen eye. The brunette's previously hit eye had swollen a bit, but the second, much harder, shot to her eye had partially closed it.

From behind Britney, J-Lo grabbed her by the hips and moved her aside, then watched Avril closely for any signs of movement as she started the count, "1... 2... 3... 4..." as Avril groaned as she twisted over onto her knees.

J-Lo continued, "5... 6..." and Avril struggled to one knee.

J-Lo went on, "7...8..." just as Avril managed to get to her feet, rocking slightly as J-Lo reached eight.

J-Lo checked Avril and asked, "Do you want to continue?"

Avril responded with a pout, "Yeah! Get outta the way!"

Avril and Britney glared daggers at each other as J-Lo checked the brunette, making sure that she could see well enough to continue the fight before she stepped out of the way and nodded, "OK. Fight!"

Avril got a wild-eyed look on her face as she charged Britney and hammered her with a flurry of punches. Britney didn't know what direction to defend from as the brunette pounded the blonde with jabs and hooks. She gave Britney a split lip brought a stream of blood from the corner of her mouth. When Britney raised her gloves to protect her face, Avril compensated and moved her attack lower. She started to drill punches into Britney's bulging bra; a flurry of lefts and rights flattened the blonde's luscious boobs against her chest.

Britney tried to compensate again, wanting to protect both her face and tits as well as go on the offensive. The blonde grew more aggressive as Avril started to come at her again. Avril fired low and drove a right toward Britney's gut. Britney brushed the punch aside and landed a right of her own on Avril's jaw. Avril staggered and backed away blinking, seeing stars.

Britney rushed in and swung wildly. Avril ducked and Britney swung so hard she spun around in a full circle. Avril came up and put a hook into Britney's kidney, then shoved Britney headlong into the ropes. Britney’s head and arms tangled in the ropes and Avril unloaded punch after punch into her body - mostly her back.

Once she got out of the ropes, it was Britney's turn to clinch with Avril. She clinched up high as Avril tried to push her away but Britney nailed Avril with a low blow, retaliating for the earlier low shot from Avril. Avril cringed and yelped in pain when the blow landed and she almost sat down as her knees came unhinged.

J-Lo saw the foul and separated the two beauties, then told them both, "Awright, girls. Now you're even on the low blows I want you to keep this a fair fight. I don't want to see any more low blows or I'll disqualify whoever throws it! You got that? OK, now fight!"

As the two gorgeous singers closed again, Avril suddenly lunged at Britney and swung. Britney sidestepped and the right hook sailed past her nose harmlessly. Britney countered with a solid left hook to the ribs, then a right to the gut. Avril coughed and gasped as the air whooshed out of her lungs and she groped mindlessly at Britney’s shoulders. Britney shrugged her off and fired a straight jab at Avril's face that the brunette ducked. She popped up and slammed an uppercut to Britney's chin. The blonde wobbled, dazed by the unexpected counter.

Avril moved in and hooked to Britney's head; her glove whacked solidly on the blonde's fair face as Britney continued to backpedal. Avril chased after her until Britney suddenly stopped and snapped an uppercut of her own. Avril cringed as she realized she was going to be hit!

The uppercut crashed into Avril's jaw and her eyes rolled back as she staggered back like a drunk. Britney followed with a right to the tits that brought a loud squeal, then a hard left hook to the jaw. Avril dropped her hands and wobbled, offering no defense as Britney unleashed a barrage of punches; all carefully aimed. She put the hardest left hook that she could throw into Avril's face and the brunette dropped like a sack of bricks just as J-Lo stepped between them. Britney walked away, showing no emotion, not even looking back at Avril for any sign of life as J-Lo started to count again, "1... 2... 3... 4..." Avril groaned and twisted over on her knees.

"5... 6...7..." J-Lo droned as Avril got to a knee.

J-Lo went on, "8...9..." and Avril just managed to get to her feet before the ten would have ended the fight.

J-Lo checked Avril and asked, "Do you really want to continue this?"

Avril responded somewhat meekly, "Yes. Yeah, I’ll go on."

Britney glared at Avril as J-Lo checked Avril and asked again, "Are you sure? We can end this right now."

Avril shook her head stubbornly, "No! I'm not surrendering to that bitch! I'd rather be knocked out!"

J-Lo sighed, "OK, girls. Fight!"

Avril raised her gloves defensively and tried to set herself as Britney moved in and pounded a couple hard blows to her midriff. Avril lowered her gloves to protect her body and Britney shot a big hook to Avril's damaged eye. That third shot to the same eye definitely closed it, leaving it swollen and bruised.

Grinning, Britney set herself and wound up with her big left hook again. This time the blonde's glove smacked into Avril's face and the brunette's head snapped to the side. She pivoted and toppled to the canvas, clearly out cold.

J-Lo slapped Britney on the ass and the blonde reluctantly stepped aside, beaming with the glow of a champion as she watched J-Lo study her downed adversary as she started the final count, "1... 2... 3... 4..." Avril lay in exactly the same position as she landed.

J-Lo continued, "5... 6...7...8..." while Avril still showed no sign of movement.

J-Lo went on, "9...10! You're OUT!" then she turned and took Britney's arm, raising it in the air. "The winner of our grudge boxing match is BRITNEY SPEARS!"

Britney smiled and paraded around, as the medical staff came over to check out Avril.

As the medical teams worked on her victim, Britney took the microphone and said, "Once I get cleaned up and into a change of clothes, let's see if I can't give you a short concert."

Avril was revived quickly. The brunette singer just started to sob as she realized that her hated blonde adversary had knocked her cold. The medical staff pulled Avril up and started to help her back to the dressing room. Britney stood back to the side and allowed Avril to leave without incident. Then the crowd whistled and hollered as Britney bounced back to her dressing room to have her fight wounds tended, and change into some other clothes.

Twenty minutes after the fight, Britney started her concert. Avril sat with the audience and watched Britney put on the show. She had no real choice but to attend, but this was the last place the brunette wanted to be. But she’d been ordered to attend and she obeyed orders like a good girl.

After the concert, Britney thanked everyone present and then spoke directly to Avril, "Avril, honey, you put up a hell of a fight tonight. I know I'm gonna be sore for a while. You hit good, however, in the end I won. I expect to see headline news broadcasts telling the entire world that you want to apologize for your rude, nasty comments about me; and that you withdraw each and every one of them. Are we clear, sweetie?"

Avril blushed crimson red as she nodded, "Yes."

Britney smiled and pumped her fist, "Good! You better, OR ELSE!"

True to her word, Avril held a press conference the following Tuesday and issued the statement exactly as Britney demanded.