Lost catfight: Michelle Rodriguez vs. Evangeline Lilly by Hextall

The rumors had spread rather quickly that Michelle Rodriguez didn't get along with her 'Lost' cast mates. It wasn't long before the producers decided to do something before the cast lost interest in what they were doing for the show. Some of the produces suggested killing Michelle's character would be the easiest and quickest solution to the problem. Some of the other producers, however, saw some interesting plot lines for Michelle's character.

The producers who saw something in Michelle's character suggested killing Evangeline Lilly's character instead. As it turns out, it was Evangeline who started the rumors about Michelle, believing she was losing screen-time to Michelle's character. The producers decided to re-interview both actresses to see who had more devotion to their role. The producers told each woman individually that they had something important to tell them, and to meet them on the beach.

Evangeline arrived and immediately asked what this was all about. One of the producers simply looked over Evangeline's shoulder. As she turned around, she saw Michelle walking intently towards her with fuming look on her face. Wasting no time with words, Michelle drew her right fist back and nailed Evangeline with a powerful right cross that sent Evangeline spinning down to her hands and knees facing away from Michelle.

Evangeline shook her head and tried to get her wits about her. Before she could, Michelle walked over and yanked her up to her knees by her hair, punched her again and threw her into the sand. Michelle then straddled Evangeline's waist and was about to continue her offense when she was blinded by a handful of sand whipped into her eyes.

Evangeline knew she was in trouble and couldn't afford to tend to her wounds. She immediately buried her fist into Michelle's stomach and followed that with a punch to her face from her other hand. Evangeline rolled Michelle off of her and then got to her feet. Michelle was just getting to her hands and knees when her ribs were painfully introduced to Evangeline's foot. Evangeline's foot was so impressed by the first date, it went back for a second and then a third and Michelle grunted with each impact of Evangeline's foot. Then Evangeline walked to Michelle's head and hair-hauled her back to her feet.

Evangeline pulled her close and whispered, "You thought you'd come out here, get a few punches in, and that would be the end of it. Well, you were right, you got a few punches in, and that's going to be the end of it."

With that Evangeline doubled Michelle over with a kick to the stomach and trapped her in a standing head scissors. She lifted Michelle up onto her shoulder and was about to sit-out when she was blinded by a handful of sand. Distracted, she lost her grip on Michelle, who landed gracefully behind her.

"This is far from over bitch. There’ll be nothing left of you when I'm finished with you!" Michelle said as she trapped Evangeline in an inverted front face-lock, then wrapped her leg around Evangeline's leg and pulled back, spreading her legs as she applying a modified abdominal stretch. Evangeline knew she was in trouble and she screamed in agony while Michelle just tightened and tightened the hold until Evangeline finally was able to grab Michelle's hair and, in desperation, toppled them both to the ground in a heap of sweaty, intertwined, limbs. Getting quickly to her feet, Michelle taunted, "That the best you've got, sweetheart?"

Not waiting for a reply, Michelle stalked over to Evangeline, who was just getting to her hands and knees, and forced her to a seated position. Michelle sat down behind her and wrapped her legs around Evangeline's neck, locked them in place, and rolled backwards. She brought Evangeline over her, and slammed the top of her head into the sand behind her. She was sitting on the back of Evangeline's neck with her legs still wrapped around her neck. Michelle reached back and grabbed Evangeline's ankles and placed her legs underneath her armpits.

Evangeline's back was arched to the breaking point while Michelle held her agonizingly in place. Evangeline's screams turned to moans, followed by sobs as she realized her chances of winning this fight were getting smaller by the second.

Evangeline struggled and finally managed to get a hand free. She reached up, but from her position she could do nothing to unseat her tormentor. Michelle was all smiles as she felt Evangeline's struggles weaken, she gave the producers a wink and blew them a kiss. As she turned around to look beneath her, another fistful of sand was thrown into her face.

Michelle let go of Evangeline's legs as she rubbed her eyes. Evangeline was still trapped beneath Michelle until Michelle leaned back started choking Evangeline with her legs. Again Evangeline's back was painfully arched as Michelle sat on her butt, keeping her in place, and more importantly out of the reach of her hands.

Evangeline was now in a worse position because now she was having her air supply cut off. Every few seconds Michelle would pound away at Evangeline's sides and back, driving the air from her body and demand, "Ready to give, bitch?" Evangeline gagged some form of unintelligible response. "What was that?" asked Michelle, as she squeezed her legs tighter around Evangeline's throat. This time the response came in the form of nails digging deep into Michelle's flesh. She was unprepared for the sudden attack and released the hold. Evangeline coughed and gagged as she slumped forward on the sand. "Look at you, you've got nothing left?" taunted Michelle.

Evangeline offered little resistance as she was dragged to her feet by Michelle. Evangeline doubled over when Michelle plowed her fist into Evangeline's stomach. Standing in front of her, Michelle trapped her in a standing head scissors and brought Evangeline's trembling body up onto her shoulder. She turned to face the producers, who were watching intently, and dropped to one knee, leaving the other posted as Evangeline's body folded over it. Looking down at Evangeline's motionless body bent over her knee, she smiled and gave her one final elbow to the stomach, causing Evangeline's body to spasm upward.

"Now, it's over. bitch!" Michelle hissed as she rolled Evangeline's body off of her knee and dropped her on the sand. She took one last look at the devastated remains of Evangeline Lilly, and one look at the producers before walking away... she'd gone about 25 yards when she felt a giant force between her legs, before she could comprehend what was happening, she was lifted off her feet and onto the shoulders of this unknown assailant. She turned around and Evangeline was nowhere to be found.

"It couldn't be...could it?" Michelle thought to herself.

Realizing her position could be an advantage, she leaned back and to tried her flip her assailant over backwards. But as she leaned back, her attacker leaned forward and canceled Michelle's momentum with her own. Michelle was now hanging upside down from her assailant's shoulder's.


Michelle couldn't believe what, or rather who she was hearing. Evangeline reached down between her legs and grabbed Michelle's arms and brought them through her legs in front of her. Michelle's head and shoulders were pulled between Evangeline's legs, and with Michelle's legs still atop her shoulders, she sat out. Giving Michelle the most painful back/neck breaker ever witnessed.

Evangeline sat on the back of Michelle's neck for a few seconds before she collapsed backwards on top of Michelle's unconscious body. Evangeline was exhausted and could barely move, but as the producers approached the pile of lady parts, they saw a giant grin on Evangeline's face, and decided to let her character live... and it also gave them a few ideas for the show...