Karen McDougal’s Memoirs (excerpts) by Tank

Karen sat in her living room flipping through her memoirs. Dressed in a crimson bra and tight jeans, she re-read the pages having to do with some of her favorite steamy catfights.

"I can't remember ever starting a fight with another woman. But neither can I deny that I've sometimes baited a rival into starting one with me. I'm a woman who has confidence in my physical abilities and I've always believed that there is a time when its best for two women to decide an issue by fighting it out."
* * * *
Christy Hemme
: "I met her at the Raw Diva Search in 2004. We competed against each other as well as against 26 other finalists. Though she eventually was voted the winner, there were many who believed I should have won. I was gracious about it but there was one Diva who was bitter she didn't advance further. She had told me before leaving, as we stood alone in the dressing room, that Christy must have been sleeping with Vince McMahon and that's the reason she won.

"I was standing next to the mirror in my lavender bra and panties when Christy stormed in. Apparently, she thought I had said it. She pushed me backwards violently and taken by surprise I fell on my butt. She then pointed her finger at me and shouted angrily, "Now stop spreading your lies about me! You're just jealous I won!"

"I could have tried to explain that it wasn't me who was talking about her. But my temper got the best of me. Who was she to barge in the dressing room and get physical with me when she doesn't know the facts? She turned her back and began to walk out. But I quickly got to my feet and responded, "Oh Christy dear, would you mind trying that again?"

"She was so angry she turned and rushed toward me with her nails flashing. I stood my ground and began peppering her face with lefts and rights. She was swinging back but I soon had her backed against the wall. Then I moved in and slammed my knee into her belly.

"OOOOHHHHH!" She slid to the ground. I mounted myself on her back, yanked her head back by her red hair, and calmly explained that I was not the one who was talking about her.

"Of course, I did not let her go until she apologized to me. One apology would have been enough but Christy was so hurting and scared, I counted "I'm sorry Karen(sniff sniff)" seven times before I got tired of her sobbing and finally let her up."
* * * *
Lisa Dergan
: "It was in a hotel during the filming of ‘Arena’ that we finally had it out. It had been building all through the film. She was so condescending. We would be standing next to each other with our swords and she thought it was so funny that that I refused to spar with her. Why should I? Why take a chance on one of us getting hurt when it was obvious to me she didn't know what she was doing?

"Don't be afraid, Karen. I won't hurt you", she'd shout in front of the whole set. She wanted so badly for everyone to believe that she was more of a woman than I was. She would convince them if she could that she was the star and I was just her sidekick.

"We finally got into it inside the hotel suite we were staying. It was about 2:45 AM. We were both in just our bras and panties. Mine were yellow and hers blue. After some vicious back and forth action, I began to dominate. I knocked her back on her bed with a punch to her jaw and leaped on top of her. I wrapped my legs around her waist and squeezed till she submitted to me. It was one of my most satisfying victories.

"I lay in bed with her till dawn, often with my hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream and cause a scene. I continued to control her body and left no doubt who the REAL star of the film was. I had her crying like a baby. Had to chuckle to myself when I would ask her, "Oh, am I hurting you Lisa? Not again!"
* * * *
Demi Moore
: "She has a husband but for some reason she felt scorned when she saw me with her ex-, Bruce Willis. We were just minding our own business. She happened to be staying alone at the same resort we were staying. She made her presence known on several occasions and it appeared to me she was stalking us. Wherever we were, that's where she wanted to be. She would always try to show me up by wearing a skimpier bikini than me. I was soon getting tired of her games!

"She just happened to pop up at a secluded beach where Bruce and I had escaped to get some privacy. I whispered to him to please stay out of it if things get nasty between Demi and I. He assured me he would.

"As I lay next to Bruce in my silver and black bra and thong, Demi, in her white bikini, began mouthing her usual mean spirited sarcasm. I felt my muscles grow tense and soon I felt poised for battle. I deeply desired to beat the crap out of her in front of Bruce. I took exception to one of her many snide comments about us and began to verbally put her down in return.

"I stood up and we got in each others face. Suddenly, she punched me in the stomach. I doubled over and she was all over me like a possessed woman! But I am very fit and was able to withstand her initial attack. We must have exchanged a dozen punches to our faces and bodies, both of us having no regard for defense.

"I noticed her backing up and grimacing. "Can't take it, little Demi?" I chided. She rushed toward me with fire in her eyes but I side- stepped and tripped her to the sand. I pounced on top of her and we wailed away at each other like two wildcats. She was unable to power me off of her though, and I was definitely getting the better of it.

"She then grabbed my left breast which was protruding from my bra and began to twist it violently. I yelped but managed to free myself. I rolled off of her more angry than hurt. As she got to her knees and lunged toward me, I quickly launched my legs out and wrapped them around her face. I was lying on my butt with my strong, shapely legs locked around her head. She was groveling before me on her knees trying desperately to wrest my thighs from around her.

"I heard her groaning and mumbling some nonsense I could not make out as I applied greater pressure. I glanced at Bruce and winked. I knew she wouldn't be able to break my powerful scissors. I lay in the sand toying with her with my legs. Just when she thought she was on her way to freeing herself, I'd flex my thighs more tightly and taunt her,

"Almost Demi! Keep trying and maybe you'll finally escape. But then I'll have to pound the crap out of you!"

"Bruce really seemed to be enjoying it. I decided to release her. She was dizzy and disoriented. I slipped behind her on my knees and twisted her arm behind her back. I guess I didn't know my own strength for she immediately broke out bawling. To cap it off, I forced her over my lap and began to spank her.


Bruce looked estatic! I finally pushed her off my lap and left her crying. Hand in hand, Bruce and I walked down the beach back to our hotel. Needless to say, Demi never bothered us again."

"I can be so naughty when I'm challenged to a tussle by another woman. But I still insist I never go looking for fights. Its just that they always seem to find me. I have to admit though, I do take a certain pleasure in reminiscing over my victories. But its all well and good. I've found that sometimes, as in the case of Christy, Lisa, and Demi, a good beat down is the best thing for them. And I'm always willing to provide it."