Pickman’s Masterpiece #9: Katie Holmes vs. Rachel McAdams by The Walkin’ Dude

It was the first real weekend in December and our ceaseless meanderings have brought us back to the woods of northern New Hampshire, specifically on a quiet, mostly forgotten stretch of highway that connects the tiny burgs of Elm Haven and Townshend. Our destination for the evening lies about halfway between the two towns, right at a slight curve in the road where the woods have been cleared out just enough to fit it a single building, the oddly, but delightfully named Gray Toad Inn. Typically, the Toad was inhabited by only a few late night travelers weary from the road and more interested in studying the bottom of their glass and a sandwich than anything else, but tonight the tiny parking lot was crammed to capacity with cars and the edges of the highway on either side of the little establishment were lined with even more cars, more than a few with out of state plates. And what kind of event could cause such a rousing turnout at a lonely hitching post in the middle of the New England woods?

Well if you’ve been listening to me go on for a while now, you’ve probably already guessed the answer but in case you’re new to this disorganized style of narration, the reason is simple. Women’s wrestling was making its return to the Gray Toad Inn and Richard Fannin’s group of gorgeous grapplers had brought in even more visitors than their last visit. And while most casual fans wouldn’t care, several were disappointed to know that promoter himself was uncharacteristically absent from the proceedings, thanks to an appointment he had with a specialist in Arkham to check the healing of his shattered right hand. But enough back story; there’s a Main Event that needs announcing and a certain member of the ringside crew is starting to look a little antsy.

Standing in the shadow of the enormous cage that had been erected around the ring during the intermission, the Announcer began; “Ladies and Gentlemen, our main event for this evening is a ‘Pandora’s Box’ match and the rules are as follows: the girls will be locked inside the cage and cannot emerge until the match is over. During the course of the match, both can try to use the ladder under the ring to gain control of the key that you can see hanging from the top of the cage. Once obtained, that key will open the box at ringside and allow access to its contents. And when the box has been opened, both ladies can use whatever they find inside however they want. It should go without saying, but this match is no disqualification, no holds barred and can only be won by pin fall or submission. Now without further ado, let me introduce the participants.”

Catching his breath, the announcer carries out the rest of his duties. “Introducing first at 5’5” tall, they call her the Auburn Avenger, she is Rachel McAdams!” ‘Oleander’s Are You There’ fires up and Rachel makes her presence known. The solidly built redhead is clad in a sporty red 2-piece bikini with a slender white belt and matching red and white pads. Her dark red hair and bright blue eyes provide a pleasing contrast as she enters the cage and slides in the ring. Even from a distance, it’s obvious she’s eager for the match to begin. After all, she’s got one hell of a score to settle.

When Rachel’s ovation had died down, the Announcer brought the mic back up and finishes up the introductions for the evening. “And her opponent, standing 5’10”…allow me to introduce, Katie Holmes!” ‘Got You (Where I Want You) wafts through the speakers and the multitude goes nuts as the slender brunette pushes through the curtain and salutes them with her trademark cross sign. Marching slowly to the ring, Katie is wearing her standard fog gray bikini, boots and pads along with her old beat up motorcycle jacket. Like Rachel before her, she shows no hesitation in stepping through the door of the cage. A moment later, she shrugs the jacket off her shoulders and tosses it on the ring steps before sliding under the bottom rope and getting to her feet. Watching Rachel from the safety of her corner, Katie rolled her shoulders and waited for opening bell.

DING! DING! DING! The bell seemed to echo more loudly than normal against the insides of the ominous steel structure that now housed two of the promotion’s greatest rivals. Never letting her eyes leave Rachel’s, Katie pushed out of her corner and stalked slowly towards the center of the ring, not stopping until she was standing directly under the oddly shaped shadow of the hanging key.

Raising her hands towards the waiting redhead, Katie beckoned her rival in and whispered, “Come and get me you meddling piece of shit.”

On her side of the ring, the auburn-haired beauty rolled her shoulders and stalked out away from the buckles, making a beeline for the taller brunette. Not even bothering to slow down when she got close, Rachel bumped forcefully into her rival and snarled, “This is it bitch. This is where I finally make you apologize for trying to ruin my reputation and turn me into an outcast.”

Craning her head down to keep here eyes level with the shorter woman’s, Katie purred, “The only thing I’ll apologize for, is the amount of your blood I spread all over this nasty little playground.”

Rachel snorted softly, “You think I’m afraid to bleed Katie? I’ll do whatever it takes to win this fight and if that means bleeding buckets, so be it.”

Holmes smiled, but there was no mirth or joy in her expression, “Anything, hmmm? Does that including taking a shot in the mouth? A punch I mean, everyone knows about the other stuff you’ll take in the mouth.”

Pretty face twisting in rage, Rachel snarled, “Let’s find out.” She lunged forward, smashing the bigger woman across the face with several wildly swinging Haymakers. Staggered by the speed of Rachel’s attack, Katie reeled backwards and absorbed another five or six punches before she was able to steady herself and block the incoming strike. Refusing to waste her breath on anything witty, Katie snapped her head forward and smashed the redhead across the bridge of the nose with a Headbutt. Rachel let out a groan and stumbled backwards with one hand cradled across her battered noggin.

Shaking her head ‘no’ Katie advanced on her victim and cooed, “No escape Rachel, not this time.”

While Rachel was still preoccupied with the ache in her nose, Katie gave her several new aches to contend with thanks to a fusillade of jabs she snapped off against Rachel’s forehead. Seeing no resistance coming from the pale vixen, Katie stepped in close, pivoted her torso away from Rachel and then twisted back into her, cracking the redhead under the chin with an Uppercut that had all the power of the brunette’s long, lean torso behind it. The no-frills Uppercut rocked Rachel up on her toes for a second before she backpedaled into the ropes, landing all woozy and sloshed against the cables. Letting the anger guide her actions, Katie chested into her nemesis, grabbed her right wrist in both hands and whipped her towards the opposite side of the ring. Following Rachel to the halfway point, Katie waited for Rachel to get within a few feet of her before she brought her left leg swinging up for a Big Boot pointed directly at the other girl’s nose.

In spite of the power behind Katie’s punches, Rachel wasn’t out on her feet yet and she managed to clear her head as she began the trip back to her opponent. When she saw the brunette’s boot come up, Rachel ducked low and kept on going, leaving Katie to hit nothing but the space she used to occupy. Straightening up, Rachel ran the ropes behind the slender young woman and was bearing down on her just as Katie recovered her balance and was turning to face her. Smiling pertly at the surprised look on Katie’s face, Rachel leapt off her feet and dove towards her foe, directing the point of her shoulder directly into Katie’s sternum. The Flying Shoulderblock took the lanky grappler off her feet and she hit the mat with a loud THUD that was nearly lost in the deafening roar that went up from the Rachel contingent in the audience.

Gasping and fighting for breath, Katie rolled over onto her stomach and pushed to her feet just as Rachel was doing the same. Temporarily ignoring the ache in her chest, she dropped into a tense crouch and exploded forward. Before Rachel could steady her bearings, Katie extended her left arm and smashed the redhead across the throat with a Clothesline that knocked Rachel flat on her back. Now it was Katie’s fans that got to cheer as their heroine turned on her heel and strode back to the dazed object d’art that was her opponent. Taking a deep breath to drive out the burn in her lungs, Katie grabbed a double handful of dark red locks and yanked the shorter girl to her feet. Whipping Rachel around so that she was back in the center of the ring, Katie pulled one hand away from her rival’s mane and used it to mush her face up in the sometimes amusing, often embarrassing ‘fish face’ gesture everyone should remember from their childhood.

Dark eyes throwing sparks, Katie sneered, “You made a mistake wanting to have a match in here Rachel. You might have been able to beat me in a real wrestling match, but in a no rules fight? bitch, I’ll own you every night of the week.”

Katie pulled her hand away from Rachel’s cheeks just long enough to rake her talons down the full length of her face, running on a diagonal from top right to bottom left. Just because she could, Katie repeated the feature scoring maneuver a second time, and then pushed the blinded beauty away with a disdainful shove. Picking her next spot, Katie waited until Rachel was a good six paces away from her before sprinting forward and bringing her right knee up into Rachel’s forehead. Rachel let out a low groan as she was knocked upright by the force of the blow, but unfortunately for her, this reflex played right into Katie’s hands.

Keeping up her momentum when the Knee Lift rattled Rachel’s brains, the lithe brunette rebounded off the ropes behind her adversary and came charging back less than two seconds after her first shot connected. Going with something that had worked before, Katie snapped out her left arm and nearly decapitated Rachel with another stiff Clothesline. Amazingly enough, the blow didn’t knock Rachel off her feet, but it did send her stamping and staggering over to the far side of the ring where she sagged against the middle rope in a vain attempt to not kiss the canvas again.

Enjoying the way she was hammering the impudent redhead, Katie snapped her bottoms back into place across her hips and cooed, “Let’s take this outside, shall we Rachel?”

The words were barely out of her mouth when she started to lope forward, hurling every inch of her five foot ten frame at the undefended landscape that was the redhead’s midsection. Sadly, Katie had miscalculated just how out of it Rachel was, and the pale stunner made her pay for it. As Katie closed in on her position, Rachel grabbed the top rope in both hands and jerked herself to the side, leaving Katie to go soaring between the emptiness that occupied the space between the top and middle ropes. She had just enough time to realize she was falling faster then she should have been, then the ground rushed up to meet her and she smacked face, chest and belly-first into the thin blue mat that covered the brief bit of floor between ring apron and the box. Working to catch her breath, Rachel flipped hair out of her eyes and turned to survey the sprawled debris of Katie. Liking what she saw, the auburn angel climbed onto the ring apron and situated herself in a position that would put her behind the brunette when and if she got to her feet. Raising both arms over her head, she rewarded her fans with a predatory smile before returning her gaze to the recovering brunette.

Waiting for the taller girl to get her legs under her, Rachel whispered, “Come on Katie. Get up and take everything you’ve got coming to you.”

It was impossible to say whether or not Katie actually heard her, but it sure seemed like she did because she got to her feet right as the words were leaving her opponent’s mouth. And by that time it was already too late for her because Rachel had leapt off the apron and was pointing both boots directly between Katie’s shoulder blades. The Missile Dropkick hit its target dead on and Katie let out a horrible groan as she was sent into a drunken sprawl that ended with her banging her face and chest against the edge of the cage. Savoring the hateful sound of the steel links rattling in the wake of Katie’s landing, Rachel got to her feet and roared, “SHOULD HAVE FINISHED HER WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE ALYSON! NOW I GET THAT PLEASURE!”

Stalking over to the befuddled brunette, Rachel bent down, grabbed a huge handful of Katie’s gray briefs and pulled the slender wrestler to her feet. Standing directly behind her nemesis, Rachel pooled herself across Katie’s back and whispered in her ear, “That bitch Hannigan needed stage blood to make her parlor tricks look scary. I on the other hand, require no such gimmickry.”

As Katie moaned and tried to pull away, Rachel drove her forward and smashed her forehead off the side of the cage with a loud, jarring BWAAANG! Katie ‘ooffed’ and sagged against the unforgiving links, but Rachel had a lot of aggression she needed to work out and she wasn’t done with the former Darkness leader just yet. Her face twisted into a frighteningly savage grimace, Rachel jerked Katie up to her full height and proceeded to SMASH her head into the cage another half dozen times. With each wince-inducing BWAAANG Katie’s strong legs got more and more wobbly until finally they failed her completely and she dropped to her knees, even as the crown of her skull was resting against the softly vibrating links.

Licking her lips, Rachel bent down behind her foe, brushed Katie’s hair onto her right shoulder, and then placed a light, taunting kiss on the base of the brunette’s neck. Getting her lips right next to Katie’s ear, Rachel cooed, “This is just the beginning Katie…”

Her grip changed from velvet to iron as she yanked the taller beauty to her feet and whirled her around all in the same motion. Before Katie could even blink, Rachel booted her in the gut and trapped her in a Front Facelock. In the same breath, Rachel fell back, using all her weight and momentum to spike the top of Katie’s skull into the thinly protected concrete with a DDT. Katie let out a wavery moan and flopped onto her back, able to do little more than clutch feebly at her battered skull. Seeing an opportunity for more punishment, Rachel exploited Katie’s helplessness as best she could. Looming over the injured brunette, Rachel measured her opponent carefully before leaping into the air and coming down with Elbow Smash down into the pit of Katie’s stomach.

The brunette gagged and rolled onto her side in a vain effort to escape more punishment but the redhead was having none of it. Grabbing a double handful of dark hair, Rachel tugged Katie to her feet and pulled the rubber-kneed girl close to her. Locking eyes with her nemesis, Rachel whispered, “When this fight is over, you’re going to remember this moment as the last second you had any hope of beating me.”

As Katie’s eyes started to clear, Rachel glassed them right back up by bringing her right knee smashing up into the brunette’s crotch. Katie screeched in agony and dropped to her knees, desperately trying to protect her wounded center. Satisfied that Katie would be out of commission for the next minute or so, Rachel turned her back on the brunette and headed over to a spot just to the right of the steel steps. Dropping to both knees, she flipped up the apron and muttered, “Now where… Ah, there it is!”

Reaching for something only she could see, Rachel’s newest acquisition had the crowd buzzing and then cheering as she pulled a twelve foot ladder out from under the squared circle. Getting her feet under her, Rachel hefted the bulky instrument up onto her shoulder and managed to turn around and head back towards Katie. Shrugging the ladder off her shoulder and into a position roughly level with her hip, Rachel tightened her grip on the steel and snarled, “Step one: pound stupid bitch into submission with large, heavy ladder.”

Obeying her own rule, Rachel drove the ladder forward, burying the top step in the brunette’s paunch. Katie’s face went several shades whiter as the ladder tore the breath from her lungs. Pulling the weapon away from her victim, Rachel smiled evilly and said, “Step two: Repeat as necessary.”

Heeding her own advice yet again, Rachel jabbed the ladder forward and bashed the top step off Katie’s forehead. The lanky brunette was knocked onto her back in a woozy, moaning pile and Rachel couldn’t have been happier. Glancing towards the key that was hanging above the ring, she mused, “I’m glad this isn’t a plain old ladder match, otherwise the fun would be over before it even got started.” Sparing a glance over her shoulder at the ornately carved crate that was Pandora’s Box, Rachel muttered, “Can’t wait to see what’s in there!”

Setting her sights on obtaining the key, Rachel hoisted the ladder up onto the apron and slid it into the middle of the ring. Leaving Katie battered and bruised on the outside; Rachel followed the ladder back into the squared circle and got to her feet. Moving quickly, the redhead picked the ladder up and unfolded it in a spot that all but guaranteed that she’d be able to grab the hanging key when she got close enough. Making sure the ladder’s supports weren’t going to give out; Rachel grabbed it in both hands and placed one foot on the bottom rung. Craning her neck to measure how close she was, the redhead took a deep breath and started climbing. She’d gone about one third of the way up when the crowd started cheering wildly. Smiling, Rachel looked up, thinking she must be within reach of the key. That’s when the hand reached up and wrapped around her throat. Fighting panic, Rachel tried to wrench free, but the fingers clamped on her windpipe just squeezed harder.

Unable to see Rachel’s face, Katie squeezed a little bit harder and said, “Sorry little girl, the ladder’s only for people who actually know how to use it properly.” Katie brought her free arm up and grabbed a handful of Rachel’s trunks at the redhead’s hip. Squeezing, Katie pulled Rachel off the ladder, took three staggering strides and tossed her down onto the mat with something that most closely resembled a Chokeslam. Regardless of what it was, the move nearly drove Rachel right through the canvas judging by the sick way the ring shook when she bounced. Looking up into the lights, Katie took a deep breath and let it out before turning her attention back to her opponent. Strutting over to the decimated redhead, Katie looked down into her face and snarled, “I believe this is yours!”

Before Rachel could so much as blink, Katie brought her right foot up and then smashing down into the center of her challenger’s crimson trunks. Rachel flopped like a shock-therapy patient and rolled over onto her side, but that wasn’t going to be nearly enough to save her from the brunette’s wrath. Standing in the shadow of the ladder, Katie reached behind her and pushed the ladder over. Moving with a nonchalance she didn’t really feel, Katie stalked over to Rachel and pulled the redhead up with a single massive handful of hair. Looking the shorter girl dead in the eyes, Katie brushed her lips against Rachel’s ear and murmured, “I know you weren’t the Hood, Rachel, but part of me really wishes you were.”

Pausing only long enough to let her words sink in, the lissome brunette glommed onto her foe’s right wrist and whipped her into the ropes. Taking her eyes off Rachel for a moment, Katie looked behind her and took two steps back, bringing her into place directly above the downed ladder. Shifting her attention back to the incoming redhead, Katie waited until Rachel was no more than three steps away before jamming both hands out and slamming them into Rachel’s paunch. As the pale vixen started to double over, Katie went into a low crouch and then pushed up as hard as she could; launching Rachel off her feet into an ascent that lifted her almost nine feet above the canvas. As Rachel started to descend, Katie took one step to the side and let the hapless beauty return to terra firma on the unforgiving metal legs of the stepladder. There was an ungodly clatter, followed instantly by an agonized cry from Rachel!

The auburn avenger clutched her impacted belly and tried to roll away from the ladder but Katie kept her pinned down with a well placed boot between the shoulders. Resting her hands on her hips, Katie bore down on her thrashing rival and teased, “Oh how terribly gauche of me, you’re supposed to use the ladder to hurt your opponent, not the other way around. Let’s see if I can get it right this time.”

Removing her heel from Rachel’s back, Katie nudged her boot under Rachel’s ribs and sent her slopping off the ladder. Making sure her victim was in a convenient place in the center of the ring, Katie picked up the ladder and dragged it into the nearest corner. Tossing the bulky instrument aside, Katie didn’t bother to set it up; she just made sure that the wide spread legs of the ladder were facing toward Rachel. Smiling at the intrigued buzz that coursed over the audience, Katie slipped through the middle rope, then climbed onto the top turnbuckle. Grabbing the ladder in both hands, Katie maneuvered herself around so she was standing beside the ladder. Smile fading from her face, Katie leapt off the turnbuckle and soared towards Rachel, bringing the heavy steel weapon along for the ride!

Rachel saw it coming down on her, but she was still so stunned from the Flapjack that she couldn’t even roll onto her side before the ladder came crashing down across her chest! If she hadn’t been pinned under its weight, her jerking and twitching would have been far more violent. Shaking off the mild discomfort of her own landing, Katie got to her feet, brushed some imaginary dirt off her hands, then turned to ask the audience, “So, that was two highlight reel worthy moment’s right there. Which one did you like more, the former or the latter?”

Laughing at her own terrible pun, Katie picked the ladder off Rachel’s chest and set it up under the hanging key. The willowy beauty had just put her foot on the bottom step when she stopped, looked at Rachel and stepped back down. Kneeling down, Katie grabbed the redhead by the straps of her top and heaved her to her feet. Working hard to keep her grip on Rachel’s practically dead weight, Katie lugged her adversary over to the ropes and threw her into the ropes back-first. Pressing in close to keep Rachel from falling over, Katie grabbed Rachel’s arms and stretched them out in a rough approximation of a cross.

Moving quickly, the brunette took hold of the middle rope and yanked it up over the uppermost cable, effectively trapping Rachel in the steel coils. Pleased with her handiwork, Katie patted Rachel sweat-slicked cheek and said, “That should hold you for a while.” Pulling away before Rachel could try to kick at her; Katie went back to the ladder and started to climb. Being careful to keep her eyes on her opponent, Katie got all the way to the penultimate step before Rachel even started to twitch. Smiling coldly, Katie slowed her ascent noticeably, if only so Rachel would be aware that she was powerless to stop her from getting the key. Unable to resist the urge to taunt her nemesis, Katie smirked, “Whatcha doin’ down there Rachel? Aren’t you going to try and stop me?”

Pulling furiously against the cables that held her arms in place, Rachel glared up at the brunette and screamed; “DON’T THINK YOU’VE WON THIS YET KATIE! YOU’VE STILL GOT TO ACTUALLY BEAT ME! AND YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T BEAT ME!”

Shaking her head, Katie muttered, “You must REALLY want me to use every single weapon in that crate on your smarmy little ass. Better not keep you waiting then.”

Looking up, Katie saw the key dangling only a few feet from her face. Reaching up, she wrapped her hand around it and tugged the heavy brass key from the ring with no interference at all. Basking in the noticeable increase in crowd noise, Katie climbed halfway down the ladder, and then jumped the rest of the way to the canvas. Strutting to within a few feet of the captured redhead, Katie twirled the key on her index finger and said, “You should fall on your knees tonight and thank God I’m going to use this to open the chest and not your smug face.”

Angrier than she’d ever been in her life, Rachel roared, “FUCK YOU KATIE! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE…”


Turning her back on Rachel not to cut her off, but out of a legitimate fear that she might actually murder the redhead if she didn’t reign in her emotions, Katie set her sights on the chest waiting outside the ring and headed straight for it. Ducking through the ropes, she hopped down to the floor, approached the chest and inserted the key into the lock. A simple twist to the left undid the tumbler and Katie let out a low whistle as she took in the diabolical harvest that had been left for her benefit. Letting her eyes play over the wickedly nasty array of playthings, Katie settled on something the audience couldn’t see and reached in with both hands. A few seconds passed and when her hands came back into view, they were each holding a three foot Singapore Cane.

Eyes glittering in anticipation, Katie climbed back into the ring and headed for Rachel. Kicking the ladder aside with barely a glance, Katie dropped one of the canes and jabbed the end of the other into Rachel’s sternum. Pressing the tip of the tightly wound bamboo into Rachel’s left breast, Katie sighted down the length of the shaft and said, “I could cripple you right now,” in a strangely flat tone.

Refusing to acknowledge that the brunette was correct, Rachel locked eyes with her adversary and fired back, “I always knew you were a coward. Do it then. If you’re really that afraid of me, get it over wit…CRAACCCK!” Katie smashed the cane against Rachel’s chin, a short clipping blow that set off stars in the redhead’s skull.

Gliding in close to her nemesis, Katie snarled, “I was NEVER afraid of you Rachel, I just wanted you to be aware of how generous I can be at times. Every breath after this one is a gift. Remember who gave it to you.”

As Rachel was recovering from the cane shot, Katie reached out and wrenched her arms free from the ropes. Rachel immediately dropped to her hands and knees, completely exposed to whatever torture Katie chose to inflict. But despite the urgings of the audience, Katie did nothing…simply stepped back, waited and watched. Several seconds went by before Rachel managed to get to her feet and when she turned around, she saw Katie holding one cane in her hands and the other at her feet. It was obvious the redhead was trying to calculate the odds of being able to get a hold of one of the weapons before Katie could bash her over the head with the other. Much to the surprise of everyone, Katie kicked the cane over to Rachel and took a step back. Moving warily, Rachel bent down, grabbed the cane and stood up.

Eying the tall brunette with undisguised distrust, Rachel circled to her right and asked, “Why?”

Mimicking Rachel’s footwork, Katie replied softly, “Because I wanted everyone to see…no, that’s a lie! I wanted YOU to see, that no matter what the conditions, you can never stand against me for very long.”

Shaking her head in a silent but firm denial, Rachel said, “You’re going to wish you’d finished me in the ropes.”

Smiling the same half smile that had nearly driven Sarah Michelle Gellar insane with rage on many occasions, Katie answered, “I doubt it. This will be much more fun. Now are you going to hit me or do you want me to go first?”

Blue eyes going hard, Rachel sneered, “Forgive me” even as she stepped forward and swung the cane at Katie’s ribs.

CRACK! The wooden cane hit with a sound like ice cracking on a cold day, but it wasn’t enough to drop the brunette. With little more than a wince on her face, Katie gripped her cane in both hands and sent a return shot directly into Rachel’s left shoulder.

CRACK! The redhead bit back a scream and snapped her own cane off Katie’s right thigh.

CRACK! Katie grunted and her weight shifted onto her left leg, but that didn’t stop her from whacking her cane across the redhead’s left elbow,

CRACK! sending a nearly electric jolt of pain up Rachel’s arm.

And so it continued for the next thirty seconds; one would take her best shot and then stand still for whatever the other could throw at her. The canes began to grow ragged while the welts adorning once flawless complexions were nothing short of terrible; yet the pace of their swinging never slowed, not once. The painful stalemate came to an end when Katie reared back and aimed a shot at the base of Rachel’s neck. Well aware of the kind of damage a strike like that could cause, Rachel stepped back and raised her cane, blocking Katie’s swing.

Glaring at the shorter grappler, Katie said, “You cheated” with something like incredulity in her voice.

Cocking an eyebrow, Rachel fired back, “I didn’t know there were any rules.”

Katie opened her mouth to answer and that’s when Rachel pulled her cane away and slammed it directly up between the brunette’s thighs into her pubic mound.

CRACK! “UNNNggggghhhh…” Katie’s eyes shot wide and then she let out a muted sob as she dropped to her knees. But that was all…despite the beating she’d taken, Katie wouldn’t topple over. Rachel raised the stick high overhead and brought it whistling down onto the top of the brunette’s skull with a sickening CRUNCH!

A loud SNAP followed almost immediately after and the crowd buzzed in delighted horror as the Singapore Cane broke over Katie’s head. That final shot seemed to do the trick for Katie slumped to her left, groaning and twitching. Rachel stood over her, then dismissed the shattered stick as she tossed it aside and bent to pick up Katie’s dropped cane. Holding the new weapon in one hand, Rachel buried her other in Katie’s hair and hair-hauled her to her feet. Stepping behind the tall brunette, Rachel held the cane against the back of Katie neck as she muscled the brunette’s arms up and over the stick, forcing her to assume the old ‘bucket-carrying’ pose that anyone who’d ever seen a kung fu movie would know.

Keeping Katie on her knees, Rachel slipped her arms under the brunette’s then brought them back up. Clasping her hands behind Katie’s head, Rachel applied a very simple, very effective Full Nelson which was made a hundred times more painful by the pole wedged between their bodies. Cinching her grip tight, Rachel clamped on the Full Nelson as hard as she could, viciously jerking Katie from side to side.

Gritting her teeth, Rachel rode out Katie’s thrashing with a stoic determination, but the tenacious brunette was still able to get her feet under her after several seconds. Unwilling to let the gasping girl go, Rachel panted, “Oh no you don’t!” She pistoned her right knee up into Katie’s tailbone and, with a grunt, the brunette crumpled back to her knees. Rachel squeezed down even harder as she hissed, “How do YOU like being helpless Katie?”

When she didn’t get an answer, Rachel gave the hold a final twist and unclasped her hands, letting Katie fall face-first to the mat. The redhead might not have earned a submission, but Katie had been unable to free herself which was the point Rachel had wanted to make all along. (so far, Neve Campbell has been the only girl to wriggle free of Rachel’s Full Nelson something the redhead planned to deal with soon!)

Pleased with the way things were going, Rachel tossed the cane aside and helped herself to a handful of the brunette’s trunks, using them to peel her up off the canvas. Standing in front and slightly to the side, Rachel looped an arm across Katie’s chest and over her shoulder while her other arm went under the brunette’s arm to cinch the lanky vixen in an inescapable loop. An arctic storm brewing in her eyes, Rachel threatened, “You want to talk about gifts Katie? The only gift I’ll give you this evening is mercy. And you’ll ONLY get that if you beg for it. If you get on your knees and plead for my forgiveness, you just MIGHT leave here under your own power.”

Then Rachel placed her leg behind the brunette’s and shoved her forward. Katie was swept off her feet and driven to the mat on her back by Rachel’s modified version of the simple STO. Seeing Katie down mid-ring, Rachel looked to even the score from earlier in the match. Grabbing the discarded cane, she popped to her feet and went to the top rope, pausing only long enough salute the mob before she leaped into the void. Rachel’s aim was true and she came down with the long end of the cane slashing across Katie’s breasts. Noting that her last attack had finally managed to shatter the cane, Rachel tossed it away and got to her feet.

Running her hands through her hair, she looked from Katie to the toy chest and muttered, “Apparently, we need some new toys.” She stood in front of the box perusing various ways to dismantle her most hated rival. Settling on an old standby, Rachel reached in and pulled out a steel folding chair. Holding it overhead for the mob’s approval, she said, “I know its cliché, but they just work so damn well!”

Rolling back into the ring, Rachel got to her feet a few seconds before Katie got to hers. Wheeling around behind the oblivious brunette, Rachel gripped the chair in both hands and let out a low whistle. When Katie whirled around to face her, Rachel lunged forward and jabbed the end of the chair into Katie’s belly. What little breath Katie had taken in left her as she crumpled to her knees with both arms crossed tightly across her abdomen. Resetting her stance, Rachel pulled the chair back and whispered, “God, it’s almost like you’re OFFERING me your head.”

Katie didn’t look up and that was probably a good thing. No one should have to see the sort of sadistic swing that Rachel initiated before the chair BWWAAANG slammed into the brunette’s skull. Katie collapsed on her side cradling her head with both hands. But if she’d hoped this apparent defenselessness would keep Rachel off of her for a few seconds, she was about to learn another very painful lesson.

Smiling contentedly as the chair actually vibrated in her hands, Rachel strutted over to Katie’s head and dropped the chair right beside her. Bending down, she grabbed a single handful of the brunette’s damp locks, lifted her head off the mat and proceeded to scoot the chair into position under Katie’s face before laying her back down, cheek-first against the cold metal. Pulling her fingers out of the brunette’s mane, Rachel stayed bent over just long enough to secure a tight grip around each of Katie’s wrists. Flipping the hair out of her eyes, Rachel straightened up and placed her right foot directly between Katie’s shoulders, attempting to wrench her rival’s arms out of socket with the Standing Surfboard.

Simultaneously jiggling her leg and yanking back as hard as she could, Rachel pulled Katie’s upper body off the mat, and even though no one could see the brunette’s face through the thick tangle of her hair, the loud screams coming from the lanky girl made it easy to guess how she was feeling. Loving the feel of her heel grinding against the other young woman’s bare skin, Rachel pulled back a little harder on the Surfboard before asking pertly, “You ready to give it up Katie?”

Shaking her head wildly ‘no’ Katie roared, “I’LL NEVER SUBMIT TO YOU!” She tried to tug her way free, but Rachel held her fast.

Pretty face growing cold, Rachel released the tension on Katie’s arms for just a second before redoubling her efforts to cripple the brunette. Ignoring Katie’s cries, Rachel sneered, “I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the girlish shrieking.”

Blinking back tears, Katie screamed, “I SAID, FUCK YOU MCADAMS!”

Breathing hard, Rachel snarled, “NO, FUCK YOU HOLMES!”

The cruel barb was still leaving her lips when she suddenly removed her foot from the brunette’s back. With no pressure holding her down, Katie’s upper half was lifted off the mat by almost a foot. When she’d lifted Katie as far as gravity would allow, Rachel put her foot on the base of Katie’s neck. As soon as her foot was in place, Rachel released Katie’s wrists and Stomped as hard as she could. The mob groaned in shared pain as the lanky beauty had her face driven down into the steel chair Rachel had so generously placed beneath her head. Katie managed to avoid a broken nose by turning her head to the side at the very last second, but that was a small victory that was completely forgotten when her skull hit the folded metal device with a hollow but nasty sounding BWONG!

Keeping her heel resting on the back of Katie’s neck, Rachel looked up into the lights, closed her eyes and just let the sensation of it all wash over her. Here she was, in the middle of the most diabolical match the promotion had to offer and she was pounding the ever loving shit out of the arrogant bitch that had nearly cost her both her career and her reputation. At this point, if this was a work of fiction, the author would normally work in some line about how the redhead’s revenge didn’t feel as great as it was supposed to, but that’s not the case here. Judging from the nearly beatific smile on Rachel’s face, she’s enjoying her vengeance, very, very much. Steadying her thoughts with a deep breath, Rachel craned her head down to look at Katie and saw something she liked even more. A thin rill of blood was tricking out of Katie’s mouth and pooling on the chair underneath.

Biting her lip, Rachel said, “God I wish I had a camera. Guess I’ll just have to settle for making more unforgettable memories.”

Setting about her task, Rachel bent down and yanked the chair out from underneath Katie’s head. Holding it by the legs, the redhead backed up several feet and picked a spot out of Katie’s line of sight. Tapping the chair against the canvas, Rachel kept her eyes locked on Katie’s splayed form and urged, “Come on, get up you bitch. I want to see your face one last time right before I knock it clean off your fuckin’ head.”

Ten more seconds passed before Katie moaned and planted her hands on the mat. Her head a swirling kaleidoscope of pale colors and intense pain, Katie pushed to her hands and knees and slowly got to her feet. True, her legs felt like overdone pasta that might disintegrate at any second, but for the time being she was vertical and that was the best news she’d had on several minutes. Several feet behind the wobbling brunette, Rachel lifted the chair up to shoulder level and whispered, “Look behind you Katie, this won’t be any fun if you don’t see me coming.”

Rachel had spoken too softly for Katie to hear her, but the brunette turned around anyway and Rachel charged in with a home run swing aimed at Katie’s temple. Katie’s vision was still pretty blurry at this point but she’d been in enough wrestling matches to recognize a chair coming for her head and her instinct pulled her into a drunken crouch at the last possible second. Unable to comprehend the magnitude of the disaster she’d just averted, Katie whirled around on her heel just as Rachel was doing the same. Knowing Rachel wasn’t going to be satisfied with a swing and a miss, Katie dropped back onto her heel for a split second then exploded forward, meeting Rachel’s second attempt with a Big Boot that kicked the chair back into the incoming redhead’s face. That callously nasty BWONG echoed through the arena again, but this time it was Rachel who ended up flat on her back after it had died away.

Savoring the dull tingle in her kicking foot, Katie adjusted the edges of her top and took stock of the situation before she went any further. Wiping the blood off her cheek, Katie looked down at the brain-rattled redhead and said, “You’re pretty good swinging that chair Rachel, but I from the looks of you, ya can’t take a fraction of the shit you give.” With a contemptuous leer twisting her face, Katie stalked over to the chair, grabbed it in one hand and Rachel in the other. Still working through the last of the redhead’s assault, Katie used the chair for support as she hoisted Rachel from her back to an equally prone, but slightly more vertical position on her knees. Happy with how she’d framed the shot, Katie took the chair in both hands and settled in behind her penitent nemesis. Twisting her torso back for as much swing as she could possibly get, Katie lined up her shot and muttered a jab to an absent rival. “This is why he’s still thinking about me Alyson.”

The last syllables were still hanging in the air when Katie swung the chair forward and just smashed it into Rachel’s back. There was a loud BWAACK followed by an equally loud, though much higher-pitched scream as every muscle in Rachel’s body locked up for about two seconds and then went limp, depositing the redhead face down on the canvas in a boneless, quivering heap. Observing the myriad dents and dings on the chair, Katie said, “Mom and Dad always told me I was too hard on my toys. Oh well.” Tossing the battered implement aside, Katie left Rachel to her anguish and slipped to the outside of the ring, making a beeline for the ominous wooden chest. Reaching her destination, Katie opened the box and said, “That’s the good thing about having lots of toys. If I break one, or a dozen, Rich always has lots more to play with.”

Looking for something especially nasty, Katie’s gaze slid across a nondescript burlap sack that appeared to holding a vast amount of very tiny something’s. Intrigued, Katie picked the bag up and looked inside. When she looked back up, the smile on her face was pure Darkness and for a single heartbeat, every fan in attendance thought the Katie from the dark summer of 05 was back in business. Holding the bag to her chest, Katie rolled under the bottom rope and got to her feet. Keeping her plan a surprise for a little while longer, she took the time to kick Rachel into the center of the ring and clear out the last of the demolished weapons.

Convinced Rachel wasn’t going to spring back to life in the next few seconds, Katie strutted to the middle of the ring and made a show of grabbing the bottom of the bag with both hands. In one quick motion, she up-ended it to let the contests pour out in a shimmering, quicksilver flood. The thumbtacks hit the mat with a vile little whisper and even the staunchest of Katie’s supporters worried that the brunette might be crossing the line. Tossing the bag aside, Katie stalked over to Rachel and pulled her to her feet. With both hands buried in Rachel’s crimson locks, Katie marched her over to the tacks, positioned her with Rachel facing the sea of glittering silver points. Molding herself to the smaller girl’s back and butt, Katie pressed her cheek against Rachel’s and whispered, “This is when you start to bleed Rachel.”

Katie bent down and wrapped one arm around Rachel’s waist while the other hooked the redhead’s left leg in what appeared to be the set-up for a Back Drop Suplex but at the apex of her lift, Katie pivoted her hips and spun Rachel around 180 degrees, so that her feet were now pointing towards the brunette. In the same motion Katie fell straight down, driving Rachel straight into the tack-covered canvas with the Spin-Out Powerbomb she had taken to calling ‘The Kill-Switch.’ The usual THWAM! that often accompanied the completion of the Kill-Switch was oddly muffled by the bed of tacks and completely obliterated by the horrified gasp of the audience, not to mention Rachel’s own screams.

When the redhead hit the tacks, her body arched up off the canvas and she immediately rolled to a less pointy area of the ring a few feet to her right. And while most of the pins dropped away from her during this roll, the astute fan noticed that there were still nearly two dozen tiny silver circles stuck to the sweating, bleeding terrain of her back. Sitting back on her haunches, Katie blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and watched as Rachel squirmed. Looking far to contemplative for her current situation, Katie got to her feet and asked, “Is it wrong that I’m really, really enjoying this?”

Sauntering over to where Rachel was twitching and sobbing on the mat, she bent down and pulled the jittery redhead to her feet by the straps of her top. Fighting the urge to simply berate Rachel until she broke down in tears, Katie simply drove a wicked Knee Lift to Rachel’s crotch, doubling her over. Content with her condition, Katie pulled Rachel up a little and bent her over, locking in a Front Facelock that, despite its simplicity, was the most traditional move seen thus far.

Her eyes blazing, Katie brought her free arm up and then smashing down, driving the point of her elbow into the small of Rachel’s back. Not satisfied with one blow, she repeated the process, drilling shot after shot into the punctured, defenseless plank of Rachel’s back. After her last shot drove Rachel to her knees, Katie changed tactics, grabbing hold of a handful of Rachel’s tights and pulling the redhead back to her feet, then hoisted her overhead, holding the auburn avenger inverted.

Knowing she shouldn’t waste her energy on keeping Rachel aloft for too long, Katie still managed to hold on long enough to sneer, “You can’t beat me in a fight like this Rachel. You can put up a good fight, but when there are no rules, I will win EVERY SINGLE TIME!”

Set on proving just that, she took three shambling steps forward and then tossed Rachel down face first, dropping her adversary’s belly across the top rope. The air was driven from Rachel’s lungs in a single heaving blast and she could do nothing more than lay limply draped over the top cable praying Katie would give her a moment’s peace. Of course, that was not going to happen! Katie moved to Rachel’s left where, using those long, lean legs, she delivered a scintillating Boot to the side of the redhead’s skull. The blow knocked Rachel back into the ring, but given the way she was cradling her skull and sobbing quietly, it didn’t look like she was going to be a threat any time soon.

Looking between Rachel and the tacks, a part of Katie wanted to slam the redhead in them over and over until the once proud vixen begged for mercy, but she decided she’d hold off for a little while longer since surely there must be a whole load of other ways to torture Rachel in Fannin’s toy chest. Heading back to the arena floor, Katie opened the box and immediately settled on something she saw as a bit of poetic justice.

Her eyes lighting up, she reached in and said, “How fitting, using trash to punish trash.” Reaching in with both hands, she pulled the large aluminum trash can out of the trunk and tossed it into the ring where it landed with a loud CLANG! Sliding under the bottom rope, Katie got to her feet and grabbed the can at both ends, lifting it high overhead. She turned to the crowd and said, “I know what you’re all expecting me to say, but I’ve never been one to spout clichés, so I’ll let you say it for me.”

Picking up on her intent, a whole audience roared as one, “TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!”

Suppressing a smirk, Katie nodded her approval and returned her attention to the slowly recovering Rachel. Gripping the trash can in white-knuckled hands, Katie purred, “I hope the long stay in the ICU will convince you to keep your stupid little nose out of my business.”

When Rachel got her feet under her, Katie sprinted forward and brought the can down in a long, whistling arc that ended at the crown of Rachel’s skull. That is, it would have ended there if Rachel hadn’t dropped into a low crouch and scissor her legs in between Katie’s ankles. With nothing more than a tug forward, Rachel’s Drop Toe Hold yanked Katie off her feet and sent her face-first into the trash can. CRUNCH! Katie’s lissome frame trembled from stem to stern as she forcefully ingested a late dinner of tasty aluminum. Kneeling besides her taller adversary, Rachel flipped the hair out of her eyes and glared down at the expanse of Katie’s back. Her hands balling up into tight fists, Rachel pounced on Katie’s back and started hammering mindless, wild fists into the brunette’s kidneys and buttocks.

Working through her rage, Rachel screamed, “DON’T (PUNCH!) YOU (PUNCH!) EVER (PUNCH!) FUCK (PUNCH!) WITH (PUNCH!) ME (PUNCH!) KATIE! (PUNCH!)” Finishing her epithet, Rachel grabbed a double handful of Katie’s gray tights and yanked up, baring the brunette’s pale rump in a heinous wedgie. Almost done, she sank her fingers into Katie’s backside and squeezed as hard as she could, sinking the steel tines of her claws into the meat of the brunette’s ass. Unclenching her hands, Rachel got to her feet and hauled Katie to hers. Taking hold of Katie’s head in both hands, Rachel pulled Katie’s face into hers and snarled, “I am going to FUCK YOU UP! No one tries to shred me and gets away with it.”

Easily transitioning her grip on Katie’s hair for a two handed grip on her wrist, Rachel pointed her towards the ropes and tightened her grip. She planted her feet and tossed Katie into the ropes with an Irish Whip. Watching intently as the brunette staggered back towards her, Rachel took a step to the side, making sure she was almost directly over the dented trash can. When there were only inches remaining between her and Katie, Rachel lunged forward and wrapped both arms around Katie’s waist, slapping on a loose Gut Wrench. Locking her fingers, Rachel lifted Katie high into the air before spinning her around in a dizzying 270 degree arc and falling easily to her butt, dropping Katie’s back directly on top of the trash can compliments of the Tilt-A-Whirl Power Slam.

Katie’s landing damn near flattened the trash can, but that didn’t stop Rachel from using it in her next bit of offense. Refusing to give Katie a second to breathe, Rachel pulled Katie to her feet, trapped her in a tight Standing Headscissors and then wrapped her arms around the bigger brunette’s waist. Almost ready, Rachel took a few steps forward; making sure that Katie’s head was directly over the recently remodeled trash can.

Tightening her grip, the redhead taunted, “Take a seat bitch.”

She hoisted Katie upside down and held her there for a moment before sitting out and spiking the top of her victim’s skull onto the cheap metal with a Pile Driver. At this point, Rachel was focused more on the victory than making Katie suffer so she draped herself across the suddenly limp brunette and hooked both legs. Seeing the pin attempted, the ref dropped down and slapped the mat, ‘ONE… TWO…’ Katie shot her right arm off the mat, breaking the count.

Breathing heavily, Rachel sat on her knees beside Katie and rested for a few more seconds. The chair assisted offense had certainly put her back in control of the fight, but that didn’t mean she was just able to shrug off all the damage that Katie had done to her over the last several minutes. After a few more deep breaths, Rachel got to her feet and hoisted Katie to hers.

Treating the glassy-eyed brunette to a scathing SLAP, Rachel scooped Katie up in a slam position. Instead of depositing the lithe grappler on the mat, Rachel limped towards the turnbuckles and planted Katie in the corner, tying her to the Tree of Woe. Leaving Katie inverted and squirming, Rachel strode into the center of the ring and made a beeline for the dented steel chair. Scooping the instrument up in both hands, the redhead hoisted it high and shouted, “THAT CRAZY BITCH HAS THE NERVE TO CALL ME TRASH? I’LL SHOW HER WHAT HAPPENS TO GARABAGE AROUND HERE!”

Coasting on a wave of cheers and applause, Rachel whirled toward Katie and sprinted toward the corner with chair still in hand. When she was about five feet away from the brunette, Rachel executed a high, floaty hop and tucked her knees up right against her chest. In the same motion, she positioned the chair under her feet and held it in place. As she started to descend, Rachel released her hold on the chair and pistoned her feet forward, driving both boots and the steel chair directly into Katie’s face with a sadistically augmented Dropkick.

THWAM! Katie’s whole body shivered hard enough for the brunette to pull free of the Tree of Woe but all that allowed her to do was drop onto the canvas like a puppet with cut strings. Recognizing that almost electric looking shudder as the last of the fight leaving her rival’s body, Rachel scrambled to her feet and dragged Katie’s unresisting carcass into the center of the ring. Tossing the brunette’s legs aside, Rachel pounced on the downed warrior and hooked both legs, looking to end things once and for all.

Feeling an uncharacteristic burst of pity for the decimated brunette, the ref swooped in and counted off, ‘ONE… TWO… THRE-NO!’ Somehow Katie bucked Rachel off of her and kept the match going.

Shaking her head in abject disbelief, Rachel got to her feet and sneered, “You must want to leave all your blood on the floor tonight. You know what? That’s fine with me.”

Heading for the corner, she grabbed the chair once again and brought it over to her adversary. Tossing it down beside Katie’s face, the redhead glared out at the audience, drew a thumb across her throat and roared, “TIME FOR THE SMASHER!” The crowd went nuts as Rachel had just signaled for one of the most innovative finishers in the promotions, a sort of Inverted Tombstone Piledriver she called The Rachel Smasher.

She pulled Katie to her feet and stood in front of her. Then she bent down and placed her head between Katie’s legs, as if setting herself up for a Piledriver. In the same instant, she cinched her arms around Katie’s thighs and clasped her hands, holding the brunette in place. It was here that Rachel encountered the one glaring flaw in her otherwise perfect finisher. By placing herself in the Piledriver position, she left herself open to attack, even if it was only for a few seconds.

But in this case, a few seconds was all Katie needed! Before the redhead could lift her off the mat, Katie drove a pair of Punches right into Rachel kidneys, stunning her. With Rachel’s head clasped between her thighs, Katie wasted no time in wrapping her arms around her foe’s waist and hoisting her up into place for a Powerbomb. Grimacing at the proximity of Rachel’s groin to her face, Katie wasn’t so out of it that she’d forgotten where she was… or where she’d put the tacks for the matter. After a few wobbling steps to the right and drunken half turn, the brunette felt the tacks under her boots and she knew she was in the right place. Letting loose with a feral sounding scream, Katie rose up on her toes and Body Slammed the twisting redhead down into the canvas, sending her for a swim in the tacks!

Her second encounter with all those points didn’t go any easier than the first as could be attested by Rachel’s pained sobs and the frantic way she rolled her way clear. Dabbing her fingers at a shallow cut that had appeared on her forehead (probably from her fall into the trash can or the chair battered into her face) Katie turned her head towards the quivering wreckage of Rachel and purred, “You’re still not bleeding enough sweetie.”

Taking a moment to pull her distended bottoms back into place over her hips, Katie took possession of the chair and walked it over to where Rachel was softly sobbing and trying to brush the tacks out of her back. Letting the chair drop beside the redhead with a loud clatter, Katie snarled, “Let me show you how to really use a chair you candyass.”

She pulled Rachel to her feet, applied a tight Front Face-Lock and held the position for a moment. Making sure Rachel forehead was positioned over the chair, Katie used her free hand to grab a hold of Rachel’s crimson bottoms and yank them up in a heartless Wedgie. After seconds after she’d given the capacity crowd a nice long look at Rachel’s pale rump, Katie drove herself back and down with everything she had left, drilling Rachel’s skull into the canvas with her trademark DDT. Rachel’s head hit the steel with a meaty BWONK and after a few seconds of spasmodic jerking and twitching, she lay still.

Sitting beside her semi-coherent nemesis, Katie shoved Rachel over onto her back and asked, “How ya feelin’ NOW, bitch?” Getting no answer, Katie reached out, took a hold of Rachel’s chest and Clawed the redhead’s bounty insolently. “You awake?” she sneered. At the intrusion of Katie’s claws, Rachel groaned and tried to swat them away, but she didn’t have much luck. Mauling the redhead’s rack just because she could, Katie kept up the groping squeeze for a few more seconds before pulling away. Cracking her knuckles, the domineering brunette muttered, “Good. I might feel bad about beating up someone who couldn’t even TRY to fight back.”

Getting her feet under her, Katie decided a return trip to the box was an order. Moving gingerly, she escaped the confines of the ring and approached the chest, surveying the contents for only a second before making her choice. Reaching in, she grabbed a 3-foot length of steel chain. Katie’s dark eyes flashed menacingly as she wrapped the metal links around her right hand several times, giving her a solid grip on the chain but still leaving more than a foot dangling free. Slipping back into the ring, Katie got to her feet and stalked Rachel as the Auburn Avenger was struggling to get to her hands and knees.

Tightening her grip on the chain, Katie hissed, “This is what you get Rachel. Remember this pain the next time you even THINK about getting in my way.”

Closing the distance between them, Katie tensed her whole frame and waited for Rachel who was just turning around. When she saw the first flash of blue eyes, Katie lashed out, swinging the short length of chain across Rachel’s shoulders. SWAP! Rachel shrieked in pain and dropped back to her hands and knees. The redhead scrambled to get away, but Katie patiently walked her down, crisscrossing her victim’s already bleeding back with ugly crimson welts. The terrible SWAP! SWAP! SWAP! of the chain coming down across Rachel shoulders and back combined with the increasingly faint cries of Rachel herself was a hard thing to endure and even the most jaded of fans were soon urging Katie to stop the callous beating.

But Katie didn’t stop! She’d been through hell this last year and it was time someone shared that hell with her. After an especially cruel slash across the buttocks dropped Rachel flat on the mat, Katie straddled the prostrate redhead and threaded the chain around her throat. Crossing her hands, Katie pulled up, choking the life out of her foe with the most basic means available. Taking both ends of the chain in one hand, Katie used the other to brush the hair away from Rachel’s face.

Glaring down into her victim’s eyes, the brunette whispered, “Submit.”

Hate fighting for place with fear and anguish in her dark blue eyes, Rachel shook her head ‘no’ and gurgled something that sounded an awful lot like, “Fuck you.”

Knowing that Rachel was little more than helpless in her grasp, Katie murmured, “Have it your way then.”

Pulling the chain away from Rachel’s windpipe, the brunette grabs a handful of sweat soaked red hair and scraped Rachel off the mat. Holding the shorter girl against her to make sure she stayed standing, Katie grabbed Rachel’s left wrist and looped a short length of chain around it to create jury-rigged knot. Letting the encircled limb fall to the redhead’s side, Katie took a half step back and started wrapping the chain around Rachel’s torso and chest, binding her arms to her sides. After several seconds, Katie ran out of chain, but by then Rachel was thoroughly trussed up and in no danger of going anywhere.

Almost done, Katie stepped back and blasted her right foot up, catching Rachel right between the thighs with a nasty, nasty Soccer Kick. As Rachel started to collapse to her knees, but Katie stepped in close and caught the sagging beauty in a Standing Headscissors. Taking several deep breaths to steady herself, Katie wrapped her arms around Rachel’s chain-coiled waist and lifted her, bringing her to rest with the small of her back bent awkwardly over Katie’s right shoulder. Savoring the relative quiet right before the screams that were sure to follow, Katie strode to the center of the ring and turned in a slow circle, letting everyone at the Gray Toad see what she had planned.

Once her intentions were perfectly clear, Katie bent her knees into a deep crouch and then sprang upward. At the apex of her ascent, Katie tucked her legs up under her and landed heavily on her knees, snapping Rachel over her shoulder with a Katie Wrecker that was made several times worse by the uncompromising steel chain. Under most circumstances, Katie would normally release her victim and let her fall to the canvas but Rachel was a special case, so she simply clamped down a little tighter and ever so slowly muscled her way back to her feet.

Panting with the effort, Katie cast her eyes up at Rachel and said, “I told you it was going to end like this.” Cheering their approval, the audience was on their feet when Katie left her feet and administered a second spine shattering Katie Wrecker in less than a minute. Feeling Rachel go completely limp on her shoulder, Katie finally unclasped her hands and let the unconscious redhead drip off her shoulder and land in a semi-conscious stupor on the canvas. Battle thoroughly in hand, Katie Booted Rachel over onto her back and knelt next to her head. Clearing the hair away from Rachel flushed face, the brunette cooed, “First the pain, now for the embarrassment.”

Treating herself to a rare bit of self indulgence, Katie scooted forward and planted her butt directly Rachel’s upturned face, grinding her nose painfully between Katie’s taut cheeks. Savoring the Reverse Facesit, Katie placed her hands on Rachel defenseless assets and silently nodded along as the ref counted off, ‘ONE… TWO…’ The lights went out and ‘Vermilion’ started to pound through the speakers, signaling the arrival of the only woman Katie hated more than Rachel, the former Hood herself, Alyson Hannigan.

The lights stayed off and the music continued to play, but that didn’t stop Katie from leaping off Rachel and glaring towards the entryway. Scanning the dark for any sign of the other redhead, Katie screamed, “How you gonna get in Aly? Last time I checked, you only pretended to be a ghost!”

Alyson really couldn’t walk through the solid steel barrier of the cage, but in this case, she didn’t have to! While everyone was distracted by the light show, a figure crawled out from under the ring apron behind Katie and easily slipped into the ring. A heartbeat later, the lights came back on and Alyson let the crowd announce her presence for her.

Katie whirled on her heels and sneered, “I don’t know how you got in here, but you’re going to wish you’d stayed out.”

Smirking, Alyson just raised her hands and beckoned Katie in. Pretty face twisted in a murderous scowl, Katie lunged forward with claws extended only to be met with a cloud of blood red mist that Alyson spat directly into her face. Laughing aloud as Katie was blinded by the crimson spray, Alyson strutted passed the ref and asked; “I love no DQ matches, don’t you?” Returning her attention to Katie, Alyson treated the taller girl to a low blow of her own and said, “I don’t even know why I bother with contingency plans; you’re so fucking dumb, you’ll just charge into anything.”

Getting nothing but a growl from the hobbled brunette, the redhead tugged Katie to her feet and went to work. Moving quickly, Alyson bent her rival over and turned around, so that the small of her back was resting against the top of Katie’s head. In the same motion, she reached back with one arm and then the other, hooking both of her arms behind the brunette’s elbows. Making sure her grip was secure, Allison took a breath and then ducked down, turning in a half circle so that she was now facing the other direction; the top of her head almost level with Katie’s butt.

Almost done, Alyson forced her head between the brunette’s thighs and stood up straight, lifting Katie off the mat so that her head was pointing down at the canvas, her legs were dangling uselessly overhead, and her butt resting easily against the back. Still holding the brunette by the elbows, Alyson noticed the fair number of tacks on the ring and she muttered, “Oh this’ll be good. I don’t even mind the hurt because Pickman’s going to love the visual so much.”

Holding Katie as tight as she could, the former Hood trudged over to the tacks and positioned Katie’s head over them as best she could. With Katie’s weight finally starting to wear on her, Alyson rose up on her toes and sat out, driving the top of the brunette’s skull into the tack covered mat with the brutal move she had dubbed ‘The Freefall in Crimson.’ Katie let out a single shrill cry and then lay still as she collapsed in an unconscious pile onto the evil little spikes. Getting to her feet, Alyson turned to a just starting to move Rachel. Rolling her eyes, Alyson mused, “Well, I guess one of you does HAVE to win so it might as well be you!”

Sauntering over to the chain wrapped grappler, Alyson pulled her up with a handful of hair and marched her over to Katie’s prone form. Shoving Rachel down across Katie’s chest, Alyson put her boot between Rachel’s shoulders and raised both hands high as the ref dropped down to count, “ONE… TWO… THREE!”

The bell rang and Rachel had officially won the match, although neither the winner nor the loser looked particularly impressive at this point. Keeping her boot firmly in place against Rachel’s back, Alyson turned to the official and demanded, “Get me a mic now, or you’ll join them!” Wide eyed and nodding, the zebra hopped out of the ring, waited for a microphone to be fed through the links of the cage then headed back into the squared circle to deliver his prize.

Grinning from ear to ear, Alyson looked down at the wreckage beneath her feet and said, “You know what I love about you two losers? As soon as you wake up, you’ll start bitching and talking trash about how you’re going to ‘get me’ for ruining your precious match. Well you know what? I’m going to give you the opportunity to do just that. See, I’m sick of both of you. I’m sick of Rachel meddling in my business and I’m absolutely nauseated by Katie’s continued existence. So if you’ve got the guts to try and end this once and for all, here’s my challenge. Rachel McAdams versus Katie Holmes versus Alyson Hannigan in a Triple Threat Double Elimination match. For the simpletons in the crowd, that means to be eliminated, you’ll have to be pinned by BOTH of the other women in the match. That way I get to beat the shit out of both of you and there’s no whining about stolen victories or any other pathetic excuse you can come up with. Sound acceptable to you?”

She pointed the mic down towards the unconscious pair and got nothing cogent. Bringing the mic back up, Alyson continued, “There is one last SMALL detail I forgot to mention. If you accept my challenge, the match will be fought inside a little something Pickman and I are calling the ‘Demon’s Nest’…just your standard wrestling ring… except the ropes will be wrapped in barbed wire! I hope you gals have thick skin!”

Alyson tossed the mic down and exited the ring, making a slow circuit of the cage before reaching the door at the corner. Grinning evilly at the official on the outside, the redhead waited for the door to swing open, and then she strutted up the ramp and out of sight, leaving the decimated bodies of Rachel and Katie as proof of her presence.

Continue to "Pickman's Masterpiece #10