FBI Agent Scully (Gillian Anderson: “X-Files”) vs. Helga Svelgen (Charlize Theron: “2 Days in the Valley”) by imitation

Scully stalked the assassin to a seedy bar downtown. She knew if she wanted to bust Helga Svelgen once and for all, this would be the place. She walked into the bar and carefully let her trained eye follow the super assassin mingle with her buddies. The redheaded agent sat nondescript at a nearby booth. The waitress came up to her and asked her what she would like. Scully smiled politely and ordered a Virgin Mary; no way was she going to drink on the job. The waitress left a bit concerned because nobody came to this bar to order non-alcoholic drinks.

Scully sat down paying close attention to what was going on at Helga's booth where Helga was mingling with her friends, all of whom were attractive women; one of who looked very familiar. Scully searched her mind, trying to recall the familiar voice as the waitress poured her drink. Suddenly, the waitress stopped as she realized that the redhead she could be serving could be a cop, or worse!! With all the drug dealers around, that wouldn’t be a good thing. She didn't know what to do so she quickly looked in the drawer under the counter where she was preparing the drink. She couldn’t find any drugs to knock out the agent but she decided her tray would to do the trick quite nicely. When she set her drink down, Scully thanked her.

"Would you like a smoke or something?" the waitress asked, trying to get a conversation started.

Scully realized that she must look out of place and said she would indeed like some Morley's if possible. The waitress pulled a pack out of her apron and offered Scully a smoke. Scully pulled the cigarette out with her teeth, her attention focused on Helga's table. As the waitress lit the cigarette. She realized that Scully was looking at Helga's table. She quickly grabbed the tray from the corner and swung it in an arc toward Scully's face. THUNK! The tray’s corner made contact with Scully's jaw. She moaned in pain as her lips lost their grip on the cigarette at the same time her mind lost its grip on her senses. Her eyes fluttered shut and her head hit the table. THUD! The Virgin Mary spilled across the table as her lifeless head bounced once on the hard wood of the table and came to rest.

This was the first time Scully been knocked out on THIS particular case but it wasn't at all unusual for her to be knocked out for she’d been knocked out at one point or another in just about every case she’d ever been assigned to! The waitress put a hand on Scully's shoulder and rolled her over on her side; the cigarette still dangling from Scully's slack lips. Then the waitress saw a gun under Scully's vest and she reached for it, looked at it and then searched in Scully's purse until she found her Government credentials. The undercover portion of Scully's assignment had effectively been brought to an end! The waitress took the gun and ID to Helga, an old friend and her one-time lover.

"This is the Fed who’s been tailing you!" she told Helga, proudly thrusting out her perky bosom.

Helga smiled almost maniacally, got up and walked over to the unconscious Scully. She pulled her up by the hair and studied at her Virgin Mary stained face.

"Well, she's a pretty bitch at least, isn't she?" Helga purred, dragging Scully off the seat by her hair and letting her body drop on the floor. Scully hit the dirty floor and lay with no resistance as Helga bound her arms behind her back, then she easily lifted Scully up and dropped her ass on a bar stool. With Scully’s inert figure on display, Helga tore open the front of the agent's shirt just enough to expose her bra and cleavage. "She'll come around eventually," Helga told the waitress staring in open-mouthed awe at the FBI agent's small-but-firm breasts.

Helga lit a cigarette and as she smoked she pondered what to do with Scully when she came around. When she finished smoking, she stubbed the cigarette out on the bar, then pushed the butt down into the valley of Scully's cleavage. Scully slowly drifted in and out of the land of the conscious for several minutes, but when she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Helga standing in front of her wearing a leering grin. Scully tried to move but after struggling briefly, it finally penetrated her still-foggy brain that her hands had been tied behind her while she ‘slept.’

"Agent Scully! you're awake!" chuckled the tall, wiry blond; reading Scully’s name from her credentials.

Scully swallowed hard, her body shivering, unable to hide her fright. "Untie me and let me go, you bitch!" said Scully. “You don't know how much trouble you're in blondie!" the bound agent said as sternly as she could under the circumstances.

"Trouble? Me? Ha-ha-ha," laughed Helga. "Look at you, you dumb bitch! You're in my territory now. I'm in no trouble whatsoever, it’s you who’re in the shit now red!!" she said, laughing at the undisguised dismay she saw in Scully’s face. "In fact, the only dilemma you’ve presented me with now, is that I have to decide who fucks you first and how!" said Helga, turning slightly and with a wave of her arm introducing her squad of prototypical, leather-wearing, short-haired butch dykes; all of whom seemed to be salivating at the prospects of enjoying Agent Scully’s luscious body.

But Scully's heart raced when she recognized one of the butchiest of the dykes; her one-time rival, Agent Reyes! Reyes had been assigned a month before to infiltrate the gang and, judging from her appearance and the fact she’d been so quickly accepted as one of them, it looked like she’d done a far better way than Scully had and it hurt the redhead's prideful ego.

"What do we do with her?" wondered Helga aloud and Scully’s face took on a panicky pallor.

Then Agent Reyes announced she had an idea. She lit a stogie and walked over to Scully, leaned forward and slowly ran her nose down into the depths of Scully's cleavage, sniffing loudly. Scully felt confused but also aroused. Maintaining her cover personna, Reyes turned back around and said out loud what she’d been thinking ever since the day she first met Scully.

"The chick is damn slutty. Wasn’t that her name, Helga; Agent Slutty?" Reyes laughed , chewing on her foul-smelling stogie.

Scully glared at her captors, biting her lip as, one after another, the other butch lesbians came over and began to fondle and feel her up. One put her hands on Scully's small and firm breasts and began to gently knead the sensitive mounds. Scully, trapped and tied, had nowhere to look but up at the grinning blonde towering over her. She moaned in pleasure but tried to fight against the arousal she was feeling but Helga saw through her in an instant and as Scully began to squirm, the big blonde laughed and sneered, “Oh yeah, Agent Slutty she is!"

Everyone laughed except for Reyes who was worried they were going to knock Scully out and do something really nasty to her. Not that she ever minded seeing Scully unconscious - seeing it had come to be a real turn-on for Reyes - but she felt pangs of jealousy at the thought of sharing Scully’s bounty with these other women. Reyes wanted to tame Scully and make her her bitch, sharing her wasn’t part of the equation!

Reyes stepped behind Scully and put her lit stogie between Scully's fingers and hissed, "Suck on that Agent Slutty!"

Scully's face suddenly lit up as she realized what Reyes was doing. While several butch lesbians fondled her boobs, two more ripped out the crotch of her panties to poke and finger her pussy; the redheaded Agent used the lit stogie to burn the rope binding her wrists. Scully’s moaning and groaning, squirming and writhing, plus the ribald commentary of the aroused dykes, all hid her movements as she burned the ropes. The smell of burning hemp was more than masked by the scents given off by the aroused, half naked women as they groped her plus the usual stink of sweat and stale beer associated with every low-life bar.

"Everyone out! I want to deal with this bitch in my own way" screamed Helga. Reyes looked up, about to protest that she wanted ‘first dibs’ but an angry flash of anger in Helga’s eyes silenced her protest before she even voiced it. “Leader’s priviledge,” Helga grinned, waaving her hand dismissively at Reyes and the other butch lesbians.

As they were leaving, Scully put on her most stern expression, struggling to suppress her excitement as Helga straddled Scully's lap and sat down facing her with her legs spread wide open. Helga sat facing the super agent and pulled her hair, tilting Scully's head back until she was staring up at the ceiling, then the lusty blonde leaned into Scully and slowly, erotically licked Scully's full, pouty lips. Just at that second, Scully wrenched her wrists and tore the burned ropes apart, reached up and placed her open hands on Helga’s small, firm breasts and shoved!

Helga flew backward off of Scully’s lap and crashed to the floor on her back. The impact knocked the breath out of the blond and as she lay hurting, gasping and surprised, Scully slid off the stool and kicked her hard in the ribs. Helga groaned in pain, but then she rolled over and smiled. Helga loved to catfight - it was her prowess and strength as a catfighter that had carried her to the leadership of her gang. While Helga got to her feet, Scully’s eyes scanned the room looking for her gun but it was nowhere in sight.

Unlike Helga, Scully hated to catfight; not only was she rather petite to be taking on much bigger, strong women, but also because there were few fights she could remember being in where she’d come out on top. But unlike the ‘good guys’ in movies and on TV, Scully not only wasn’t squeamish about breaking rules, she never even considered ‘fighting fair.’ Scully grabbed a beer bottle off the bar and broke it over the rail, then raised the broken bottle and demanded, “Surrender before you get hurt!”

"What? You want me to be scared?" Helga asked as she rushed Scully and grabbed her wrists.

The bottle was still in Scully's grasp as they tumbled to the floor with Helga on top. They rolled over struggling and Scully cut Helga on the arm. Helga screamed and slapped Scully, raising up to straddle the redheaded agent’s waist. Scully bucked and gyrated her hips violently, throwing Helga off of her. But in the process of dismounting Helga, the blonde managed to twist Scully’s wrist and the broken beer bottle rolled away under the bar. Scully got to her knees and reached for whatever weapon she could find on a nearby table top.

What Scully found was a plastic pitcher half full of beer. Scully grabbed it and rushed toward Helga who, Scully was glad to see, at least appeared a little concerned for a change. Scully swung the pitcher into Helga's face and the big blonde fell on her back writhing in pain. Scully wielded the pitcher again, swing it down onto Helga's temple. Again, it made contact and Helga grunted and slumped back on the floor. Scully stood over Helga holding the now empty pitcher, looking down at the blonde who suddenly looked very attractive in her beer-soaked shirt with her (clearly braless) breasts molded to the wet cotton. Scully just stared open-mouthed, unable to believe she’d really knocked out one of the world’s strongest assassins in a fight!

Scully retrieved her purse from the floor of the booth where it had fallen, reached in and pulled out her handcuffs. She clapped the cuff on Helga's left wrist as the blonde’s left wrist, then started to roll her over so she could cuff her other hand. Suddenly, Helga sat up and swung her left fist up trying to hit Scully. The Agent reared back but the loose handcuff hit her in the face, cutting her lower lip. Both women scrambled to their feet but since Scully was fully alert, she got up first and as Helga rose upright, Scully hiked up her skirt and snapped out her leg, high-kicked Helga in the pit of the the stomach.

Helga doubled over with a groan, but once she bent over and looked up, she saw she was in an even more advantageous position. The wicked blonde swing her left hand again, bringing the handcuff snapping upward into Scully's unprotected and vulnerable crotch. With her skirt around her waist, only Scully’s thin panties protected her and the hard, cold steel shank of the handcuffs struck perfectly, the edge of the cuff slicing through the ripped open crotch of Scully’s tattered panties squarely into her dripping cunt!

The metal struck where Scully was most vulnerable and it send shockwaves of pain radiating outward from the point of impact. Grabbing her crotch and uttering a strangled cry of pain, Scully dropped ot her knees and hunched over in agony. Helga grabbed a handful of disheaveled red hair that covered Scully’s red face, raised her head and smiled into her red, pain-tearing eyes. Then she slapped Scully, knocking her onto her back, turned around and straddled her chest, her bare bottom hovering over Scully’s flushed face.

Just then Agent Reyes came back into the bar and saw Scully laying spread-eagled on the floor with Helga's fine ass about to face her. In a fit of jealous rage, Reyes jumped Helga from behind, knocking her to the floor with Agent Reyes on her back. As Helga struggled to wriggle and squirm out from under her, Reyes gave a knife edge chop to the big blonde in the back of her neck. The karate move was too much for Helga who slumped back down on her belly out cold. There was silence in the bar for a second, then Reyes settled back, sitting on the inert assassin's bare butt as she pulled her arms behind her to clamp the cuff around her other wrist. Scully, panting, struggled to sit up, Her eyes locked with Reyes’ briefly and she self-consciously pulled her open blouse over her bare breasts, then she looked down at the unconscious, handcuffed assassin between Reyes’ thighs.

"What about the others?" asked Scully meekly.

"They're being rounded up as we speak,” answered Reyes with a smug, superior smile. Then Reyes picked up a tiny, undercover radio and called the FBI remote unit. “They’ll be there in 20 minutes or so. You oughta button your shirt Agent Slutty," she smirked, nodding at shirt Scully was clasping tightly to her perky bosom with both hands.

Scully looked at her shirt, the buttons long gone and muttered, "Agent Reyes, you could be more respectful!"

"When did you start smoking?" Reyes asked, gesturing to the cigarette she'd found in Scully’s slack lips while she was knocked out.

"Just trying to be like you," Scully sneered, referring with scathing sarcasm to Reyes' smoking habit.

Reyes had had about enough of Scully’s insolence, especially since she’d risked her life to save the redhead from the assassin. She threw Scully's FBI ID at her feet and growled, “There! You’d better put that away before the boss gets here and finds out how you almost blew our undercover assignment."

Scully bent over to pick it up and as soon as she looked away, Reyes raised Scully's gun which she’d retrieved earlier and brought the butt crashing down on the back of the super agent's head. Scully never knew what in the world hit her as she dropped limp, flattening her small tits beneath her. They offered absolutely no protection, allowing her chin to slam the cold, hard floor.

"Stupid bitch makes everything a knockout-fest!!" laughed Reyes as she prodded Scully's upturned ass with her toe.

Reyes picked up Scully’s body and heaved her into the corner of a booth. Scully lay with her against the wall and Reyes tilted it back so she faced the ceiling with Scully's unresisting arms at her sides. Reyes pulled back Scully’s blouse, pushed up her bra a little to emphasize her cleavage as much as possible, then emptied every ashtray in the place into it. Stepping back, Reyes grinned, thinking to herself that Scully made the best looking ashtray on the planet. The remote team showed up a few minutes later to pick up Helga who would do hard time in jail (look for a ‘Women in Prison’ story with her any day now!) Reyes ordered the team leader to ‘take care of’ Scully but when their supervisor showed up and looked at Scully sprawled in the booth, she didn't know how to react.

"She got knocked out again?" she asked Reyes who nodded, struggling to hide a grin.

"Used the slut for an ashtray. Fifteen horny lesbians all got to see the ‘goods’,” she sighed. Then added with a shrug, “Oh hell, everybody in the place saw the bitch just about buck naked."

The supervisor muttered, "She's become a legend ‘cause she's so smart AND so fucking hot! Hell, if I weren’t straight, I’d…"

Clearly, Scully’s boss was as aroused as Reyes by the sight of the inert Scully’s cleavage ashtray. She stepped out to get a blanket to wrap Scully in before the rest of the unit saw her; bundled the red-headed legend in an FBI logo blanket (available at www.fbi.gov), scooped her up in her arms and carried her to an FBI vehicle, telling Reyes to ride in the van transporting Helga.

The supervisor decided that since they were alone, she'd have some fun and while she was groping and fondling Scully's unconscious body, the redhead continued to be oblivious that still another FBI official had seen her unconscious and humiliated. The groping was long over when Scully's eyes finally, slowly, fluttered open and she found herself stretched out in the back seat of the FBI limo with her head nestled in the lap of her boss.

"Wha...what happened?" mumbled Scully as she opened her eyes and looked up between two full, firm breasts into her bosses grinning face..

"You got knocked out," said the captain. “Again! Here, you want a smoke?”

"No, not again?" pouted Scully, rubbing her neck with her fingers, the back of her smooth hand caressing her bosses’ bare thigh behind her head as she submissive allowed the older woman to put the cigarette between her slightly parted lips.

"But you got Helga," said the woman, giving Scully’s hair a gentle stroke as if patting a lap dog for having performed a trick.

Scully nodded, subtly allowing herself to claim the credit even though she and Reyes both knew it had been Reyes who’d really taken Helga out and accomplished their mission. Still, Scully suspected Reyes wouldn’t try to take credit because - although Scully didn’t know what it was - she felt Reyes had some other agenda and that holding this over her head would further it far more than taking credit for capturing Helga.

While Scully and her boss were making nice in the limo, Reyes was “getting credit” for her capture of Helga in the back of the van. The securely manacled blonde was flat on her back on the floor of the bouncing, rocking van and towering over her with her legs straddling the red-faced blonde’s mouth, Agent Reyes bounced and rocked right along with the van as the assassin’s tongue played her clitoris like a fine flute! Reyes’ hands caressed her own breasts and pinched her erect nipples as Helga licked and flicked the FBI’s dominant brunette agent to another screaming orgasm. Reyes, however, had her eyes closed, imagining the pink tongue working it’s wonderful magic on her ‘love button’ was that of her redheaded compatriot Dana Scully and not the blonde Helga.

A few days later, as Scully came to the door of the FBI field office to return to work, two agents stood smoking outside the door. One of them looked at her and said deadpan, "Excuse me Agent Scully, but the butt can is full, could you help us!" Then both men burst into laughter. Scully, naturally, hadn't a clue what they were talking about and the insult went, like so many other comments, right over her short, red head.

The next day, at a ceremony attended by Attorney General Janet Reno, Dana received a medal from the FBI. Dana was still reknown as the most knocked out, and most hated agents in the bureau but at least she was getting recognition for her contributions. Even the Attorney General blew a smoke ring as she puffed on a victory cigar and invited Agent Scully up to her ‘private office’ to meet with her “one on one.” What a lucky girl she was, Dana thought to herself as she pranced past Agent Reyes to go to her meeting with the AG.