Celebrity Championship Wrestling Show #6 by bigfan (promos written, directed and produced by Archer)
Preview - NEXT ON CWW A Special “On-Line, Subscriber Only” Feature (Match Previews/Interviews).

PREVIEW OF MATCH 1: ALEXIS BLEDEL and KIRSTEN DUNST appear seated in chair wearing shorts and scooped neckline tops. They try to ignore each other and concentrate on the camera.
“Hello, I’m Alexis Bledel and I want everyone to know I’m gonna to beat the red dye out of Dunst’s hair!”

Kirsten (her blonde locks still dyed red for Spider Man 3): “And I’m Kirsten Dunst, just ignore the flapping gums of my soon-to-be unemployed opponent over there. Obviously having her show pink-slipped has made her jealous of my success.”

“I’ve read your reviews, honey, who could be jealous that?” Alexis mocks.

Kirsten leans over and in a single swift move, kicks the chair out from under Alexis. Bledel topples backwards, but does a nice backward roll and comes up claws bared. Kirsten has leaped from her chair and kicked it aside. She’s ready. Alexis charges forward, but feints right. This draws Kirsten to counter only to have Alexis leap up, wrap her legs around Dunst’s waist and send her toppling backwards. They hit the floor hard. Alexis keeps her legs locked around Dunst’s waist while going after her hair. Dunst is shrieking in outrage, clawing wildly at Alexis’ long hair.

Security men finally appear and drag the two hellcats apart.

“I’m going to get you for that!” Kirsten shrieks.

“No, I’ll get you first!” Alexis snarls.

The contrast between the exotic-looking dark-eyed Kristin Kruek and the busty blondeness of Elisha Cuthbert couldn’t be more delightful as they stand at a podium in simple white sun dresses. Actually, they are wearing the same sundress. The two do not look happy about it either.

“You stole my idea!” Kruek hisses. “That was my custom designed dress.”

“Not anymore,” Elisha retorts. “Besides, I look better in it than you do.”

Kristin’s eyes burn with dark fire: “You look washed out in white. I might know you have no taste in clothes, You don’t have any talent for wrestling either!”

Elisha reddens: “When it comes to be untalented—you are the hands down winner in this whole outfit! You can’t fight! You have lousy taste in clothes! You can’t even do a simple promo right!”

Kristin looks volcanic and her hands lashes out in a lightning swift slap that nearly takes Elisha’s head off!

Elisha responds with what seems like a haymaker of a slap aimed for Kristin’s jaw, the dark-eyed beauty tries to duck under—only to have Elisha’s knee come up and ram itself into her trim breadbasket. Kristin gurgles and sinks to her knees. Elisha laughs.

“Better be in your seats early for this fight, folks—it won’t last long! AHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Elisha’s taunting is interrupted as Kristen aims an avenging right into Elisha’s groin. The blonde folds forward, Kristen neatly rolls out of the way and bounds to her feet as Elisha falls to the floor doubled up in agony.

Kristen smiles at the camera: “At last something we can agree on: this fight won’t last long, so come when you YIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!”

Kristen has her feet suddenly taken out by Elisha’s leg sweep. She lands on her butt with a loud THUDDDD!!! Elisha throws herself onto Kristin, but the Security Men swoop in.

Amanda appears in a plunging neckline blue evening dress that trails onto the floor. Laura Prepon is standing next to her in simple CCW top and jeans.

“Stop off on your way to the prom, Amanda?” Laura inquires with amusement.

The younger woman smiles sweetly: “I wanted to add some class to this promo. Not that you’d know anything about that.”

Laura gives Amanda a superior smirk: “I know more about class than you know about wrestling. I don’t blame you for trying to distract the fans. They won’t remember anything you in the ring except suffer.”

Amanda seems un-intimidated: “No, they are going to remember how I made you beg for mercy.”

Prepon grows annoyed: “Stop dreaming, child or you’ll make me mad.”

“You don’t scare me!” Amanda declares and turns to make a dramatic exit. The irked Prepon looks down, she impulsively brings her foot down on the trailing hem of Amanda’s gown. There is a loud rip and the entire back rips off revealing Amanda’s hot pink panties with little white bows. Laura bursts out laughing

Amanda gasps and realizes what’s happened. She lets out a howl of fury lunges at Prepon, only to trip over her own ruined dress, but as she shoots forward, the top of her head accidentally connects with Laura’s chin. Laura’s seeing stars as she and Amanda go down in a tangle. The Security guys once more rush in, though both combatants are so dazed by the impact they can barely stand.

“Owww!!! I’m going to beat you SO bad!” Amanda groans as a lump forms on the top of her head.

“I’m gonna get YOU!” Laura gasps, a nasty bruise forming on her chin.

“Not to worry,” an off-stage announcer says,” both ladies will be fully recovered at fight time. Don’t miss:

Jessica Alba comes out in a sky blue bikini and matching boots. But Jolene Blalock appears in an equally dazzling black bikini and boots. They eye each other irritably.

“Why are you wearing a bikini?” Jessica hisses. “That’s what I always wear to my promos!”

Jolene snickered: “I know. I decided to demonstrate I can beat you in a bikini contest, too!”

Jessica’s jaw tightens: “Nobody beats me in anything!”

Jolene struts across the stage in true bikini contest style and poses: “This time you lose!”

Jessica swallows her anger and puts on a happy face, she executes her bikini contest walk, but stops so she blocks Jolene from the camera. Jolene tries to move around her. Jessica blocks her, but then Jolene sticks out a foot and trips Jessica. Jessica lurches forward out of camera range landing with a thud and muffled curse.

Jolene waves at the camera and smiles triumphantly: “See you at the PPV, folks!”

Suddenly Jessica shoots up off the floor and gives Jolene a mighty shove. She vanishes from view, but an another loud thud and angry outcry is heard.

“No, see ME at the PPV!” Jessica announces.

Jolene’s angry off-stage voice: “I’m going to get you for this, Alba!”

Jessica shrugs and smiles: “Gotta go folks!”

She exits with Jolene in hot pursuit....

Kaley and Beyonce stand at a podium. They are wearing simple mini-dresses: blue for Kaley, gold for Beyonce.

“Hi, I’m Kaley Cuoco!”

“And I’m Beyonce Knowles.”

“Now I’m sure you’ve seen lots of promos where girls get into these ridiculous fights for no reason,” Kaley says.

“But Kaley and I are professionals. We don’t need to bother with such things. We know we’re going to give our fans a fighting experience worth paying for, especially when I get Kaley pinned beneath me,” Beyonce says with utter, smiling confidence. “I promise I won’t hurt her—too much.”

Kaley frowns: “You’re going to pin me? You and who else?”

Beyonce: “Don’t take it personally, I am just that much better than you are. That’s a fact.”

Kaley’s frown deepens: “You are not! In fact, I’m going to be the one pinning you! So you better be prepared to have your big-ass ego punctured.”

Beyonce scowls: “What did you say about my ass?”

Kaley defiantly: “I was talking about your ego, but while I’m at it, I have noticed something pretty heavy hanging out!”

Beyonce leans forward: “Honey, you are just sick with jealousy, ‘cause all you got behind you is that scrawny excuse for booty!”

“Scrawny?!” Kaley cried indignantly and gave Beyonce a shove. Beyonce stumbled back, but quickly recovered and gave Kaley a shove of her own. The shoving contest went on for several moments, then the podium fell over. The crash seems to bring the two to their senses. They glare at each other.

“See you at the PPV,” Kaley snarls.

“See you, too!” Beyonce snaps.

They then turn on their heels and marches away with wary looks over their shoulder.

Camera finds the team of Sofia Vergara and Shakira facing Rose McGowan and Alyssa Milano, all four are clad in sexy mini-skirted outfits.

“We know you, two,” Shakira says, “You two are dirty cheaters!”

“Yes, dirty cheaters!” Sofia chimes in.

Rose and Alyssa give them sneering smiles. Alyssa steps: “You two sound ready with your excuses for after we beat your sorry Latina butts.”

“How dare you!” Shakira growls.

“Careful, Alyssa, you’re getting too close to the truth with them,” Rose mocks.

“You lie!” Sofia cried.

“We never lie. We’re going to win and make you, two cry ‘No Mas!’” Alyssa declared.

That is the last straw. With a cry of fury, Sofia and Shakira charge at Rose and Alyssa, who are prepared for the charge, but even so, it’s a wild few moments until Security Men rush in to separate the two teams of shrieking furies.

Small, dark and busty, Christina Ricci comes out in a black leather outfit. From the opposite direction comes small, blonde and busty Scarlett Johansson in a cheerful yellow mini-dress.

“I see have our very own Goth Goddess to fight this time,” Scarlett says with amused contempt.

“I am NOT a Goth chick—not that there is anything wrong with Goth chicks,” Chrissy replies, saying this last with a smile. “I see I get to put the squeeze on an empty-headed blonde with twin bubble boobs!”

“My boobs—er—breasts are real!” Scarlett snapped. “As you may find out when they settle on your ugly face!”

“Dream on, creampuff, you’re pumped up wonders won’t get near me unless I’m squeezing them down to their true size!” Christina retorted.

“Stop insulting my breasts!” Scarlett snapped.

“Your boobies are an insult to reality. I will say whatever I want about them!” Christina fired back.

Scarlett’s face is red with anger. Suddenly she yanks down the front of her dress and her melons pop out: “Do these look like fakes?”

Christina stares at them thoughtfully, then says: “I stand corrected. I guess they are real—and now everyone else on the internet knows it, too.”

Scarlett suddenly realizes there is a camera present. She let’s out a gasp and hastily pulls up her dress. She then makes a dash for the exit.

Christina laughs and then turns to the camera: “Well, people, with any luck you’ll get another look at Scarlett’s melons at the PPV. See you there!”

April Scott stands at the podium as Kate Beckinsale join her. They are both casually dressed in top and jeans. Kate looks at April and sighs loudly.

“I am afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I haven’t the foggiest idea who you are, Miss Scott,” Kate said.

“That’s all right, Kate,” April says smoothly. “After I’ve beaten you, I’ll recite my entire resume and you can find out all about me.”

“Unfortunately, you won’t get the opportunity. I intend to defeat you and leave you licking canvas,” Kate promised.

“You’re welcome to try,” April replied with steely politeness, “but if anyone will be licking canvas, it’ll be you.”

“Perhaps we should just shake hands and leave,” Kate suggested, but with a crafty smile.

April looked at her coolly: “Sure.”

The two women shook hands, but the handshake quickly became a fierce battle as each tried to crush the other’s hand. This went on for several long moments as they glared at each other. Then, they suddenly broke it off and hastily walked away. The camera catches sight of both of them massaging aching hands...

Julia appears in a white silk shirt and black pants. Laetitia sweeps out in Victoria’s Secret black and gold bra and panties with huge angel wings. Julia stares at the sight.

“Please to meet you Mlle, Julia. You should be so honored as to fight with a woman of my superior talents,” Laetitia says with polite snideness.

“Yeah, and I’m seeing those talents hanging out everywhere,” Julia says with a snicker. “You all right wearing that thing?”

“I have worn these wings many times, down many runaways, I never fall!” Laetitia said proudly, though she seemed a bit unsteady on her spike heels.

“I hope you’re not planning on wearing those things in the ring!”

“Certainly not! I wear them now for my fans at home. They love to see their Angel Laetitia!”

“Okay,” Julia said. “Guess I can’t compete with you in the expensive underpants competition, but I think you’ll find I can beat you wrestling.”

Laetitia frowned: “You speak too boldly, Mlle Julia. You will learn to respect Laetitia!”

“I doubt that,” Julia said cheerfully.

Laetitia took a step towards Julia, but the awkward harness arrangement that supported the wings didn’t appreciate sudden moves. She tottered, trying to regain her balance, then, by a great misfortune, one spike heel snapped and Laetitia lurched to one side. The weight of the wings made it impossible for the model to recover and she went down in a tangle. Several Security men rush in and assisted Laetitia, who was unhurt but cursing colorfully in several languages at once. Laetitia stormed away, leaving an amused Julia Stiles behind.

“Okay folks, I think it’s a good bet there’ll be no angel wings at the PPV, but you’ll still have Laetitia and me, Julia Stiles! See you there!”

Unlike the other promos, this one consists of a series of shots of each participant wearing wrestling attire with short CCW-logo jackets:

ALLISON MACK (Warm Smile); NEVE CAMPBELL (Looks serious); ASHLEY SCOTT (Confident Smile), ERICA DURANCE (WRY SMILE), TRICIA HELFER (Menacing Smile), CHARLIZE THERON (Smile of Supreme Confidence), KATHERINE HEIGL (Amused smirk as she also hoists up her breasts a bit), ROSARIO DAWSON (Sly smile), MISSY PEREGRYM (Determined glare), MILLA JOVOVICH (The defiant look), and KATIE HOLMES (Enigmatic smile).


Camera makes a final quick pass down the line of combatants and then we go to black…


The fans are buzzing about the main event, a 12 woman Royal Rumble, with the winner facing Jessica Biel for the title. As usual several wrestlers come out prior to the start of the show to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans. Tonight none of the 12 women taking part in the Royal Rumble come out to greet the fans. Queen’s “I Want it All” Plays as the screen shows the normal highlight show. At the end the promo for the Battle Royal plays again. Fans get to their seats and get ready for another evening of the CCW.
Match 1: Alexis Bledel vs Kirsten Dunst

Both are looking for their first win tonight. Kirsten’s hair is once again blonde and Alexis taunts, “Red, blonde...whatever. I’m going to beat your body black and blue!”

Kirsten uses her slight size and strength advantage to push Alexis around but Alexis shows she’s capable of out-quicking Dunst, often catching the blonde off guard with her speed. Alexis does a good job of striking from distance with Drop Kicks and using the ropes to hit Kirsten and move away.

Alexis, finally getting Kirsten worn down, swoops in and scoops the blonde up to Body Slam her to the mat. Then she surprises everyone with a Standing Moonsault that lands her in perfect position for the pin. Kirsten barely kicks out in time!

Alexis waits for Kirsten to begin to rise, then Sissor Kicks the blonde in the back of the head. Alexis rolls Kirsten onto her back and hooks the leg. Kirsten kicks out but it’s too late; giving Alexis her first win.

Before getting up off of Kirsten Alexis wonders, “How long are they gonna let your no-talent ass hang around?”
Match 2: Jolene Blalock vs Jessica Alba.

Both women wearing their outfits from the promo; sky blue for Jessica and black for Jolene. Early they trade holds, going from one hold to a reversal to another hold non-stop. It’s hard to say that either has the advantage early but then Jolene uses a Low Blow, the first really dirty move in the match, to tip the scales in her favor. Jolene works submission holds on Jessica, trapping her in an Abdominal Stretch, then a Bow and Arrow and other holds. But no matter what she does, Jolene can’t force a submission although Alba screams in pain several times.

The match turn around when Jessica catches Jolene going to the top turnbuckle. Running into the ropes, Jessica unbalances Blalock who drops straight down with her legs on both sides of the metal holding the ropes to the post. After the Cunt Bust, Jolene is lifted off the turnbuckle by Jessica with a Superplex.

Alba quickly gets up and heads to the top rope herself. Jolene never reacts and Jessica goes leaping, crashing down across Jolene’s chest with the Splash. The ref makes a perfunctory three count and Jessica has her arm raised. Jolene gets polite applause, usual for a losing wrestler who at least put forth a good effort as she heads to the back holding her crotch.
Match 3: Kaley Cuoco vs Beyonce Knowles.

Prior to the match Beyonce lets everyone know she plans to ride Kaley’s face, “Like she’s a nag in the Kentucky Derby.” When the match starts Kaley shows she’s not going to just drop to all fours and let Beyonce saddle her. Both try to prove they are the better wrestler; going from hold to hold on each other. Beyonce traps Kaley in the corner and after a running start, thrusts her hips into Kaley belly.

Kaley drops on her butt leaning back against the corner, giving Beyonce the time to signal to the fans she’s about to put the Stink Face on Kaley. Hiking her bottom up, Beyonce “backs it up” to Kaley and rubs her legendary backside in the blonde’s red face.

Kaley battles her way back against Beyonce, however, Body Slamming the singer twice, then dropping a leg across her chest and getting a two count. Kaley holds Beyonce down with a Back Mount as she leans close to Beyonce’s ear and tells her, “Guess you’re NOT gonna get a chance to sit on my face!”

Kaley reaches between Beyonce’s legs, applying a Pussy Claw. Beyonce, after a brief stoic resistance, starts groaning in pain with an occasional scream as she struggles to find a way out of the hold.

Again, Kaley taunts, “The best job I ever had was working on Charmed, Shannon taught everyone this hold and they taught me. You may want to submit before I really damage you.”

Beyonce, after suffering nearly a minute, tearfully agrees to let the referee stop the match as she submits.

Cut Scene 1

Kelly Preston is seen chancing after someone walking out of the back to the parking area and yells, “Jessica a word please?”

Jessica Biel, wearing jeans and a light blue tank top, turns and waits for Kelly to catch up. Kelly and crew reach Jessica who, lowering her head and looking away from Kelly, holds up a hand - stopping Kelly’s first question before it’s out of her mouth.

Jessica says, “Just hold the mic Kelly.” Clearing her throat, she begins, “You and everyone else want to know how I can be leaving when my opponent for the title match will be decided later tonight.”

Kelly nods and tries, “We…” But Jessica’s hand shoots up again, stopping Kelly’s question.

Jessica pulls the mic closer, “It’s easy! It just doesn’t matter. It could be Charlize; could be Rosario Dawson; it could even be one of the might mites Neve or Allison.” Jessica smiles a big toothy smile in the camera before getting a serious look on her face. “Whoever survives tonight, won’t survive ME!”

Then Jessica spins around and stomps toward her car leaving Kelly open-mouthed in shock.
Match 4: Tag Teams: Sofia Vergara-Shakira vs. Rose McGowan-Alyssa Milano

Both teams need this win to stay in the hunt for the tag titles. Both teams work well together, making quick tags and keeping the ref occupied at the appropriate time to work their advantage. Rose and Alyssa use a few more under-handed tricks to dish out punishment and in short order, both Shakira and Sofia’s tops have been removed.

But later, they return the favor before Rose and Alyssa trap Sofia in their corner. Sofia, the biggest woman in the ring by far, gets worked over as Rose and Alyssa manipulate the ref very effectively; frequently tagging in and out. The match continues only because of Shakira’s good timing when she comes in to save Sofia from several pinfalls in a display of expert timing.

Sofia uses one of Shakira’s saves to grab the front of Alyssa’s bottom and rip in upward. Squealing from the pain as the fabric Wedgies deep into her crotch, Alyssa is unable to prevent Sofia from rolling away and scramblling to her corner on all fours to tag in Shakira.

Shakira hits the ring like a blonde blur and is on top of Alyssa quickly, hitting and moving before Alyssa can retaliate. When Rose tries to enter the ring, Shakira is there before rose can get through the ropes and gives McGowan a boot to the side of her head. Rose is knocked out of the ring onto the floor, allowing Shakira to drag Alyssa to her corner where she tags Sofia in.

While Sofia goes to work on Rose, Shakira climbs the turnbuckles. Sofia backs into the corner in front of Shakira who climbs onto her big partner’s shoulders. Then Shakira flips off Sofia’s shoulders, doing a 360 Somersault coming down across Alyssa’s chest. Shakira rolls out of the ring to let Sofia make the easy cover for the win!
Match 5: Christina Ricci vs Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett is still angry after being lured into exposing her impressive breasts at the news conference for the show. Scarlett tries pounding Christina into the canvas with big blows and power moves but Christina weathers the fast start and reverses the momentum, working several holds on Scarlett. Christina uses a Drop Toe Hold, dropping Scarlett face first on the mat. Christina folds Scarlett’s legs to keep her leg pressed against Scarlett’s legs.

Christina taunts, “Let see those natural melons.” She undoes the clasp holding Scarlett’s top and pulls the top free. Pulling Scarlett to her feet Christina says, “Don’t be shy! Let everyone have a look at your girls before I beat them flat!” Scarlett’s face is scarlet as Christina Hammerlocks her left arm and parades her topless around the ring.

Later in the match, Scarlett takes the opportunity to remove Christina’s top, saying, “Let’s see how YOU like it.”

She pulls Christina up to lead her around the ring, but the brunette wrenches away from Scarlett, climbs the nearest turnbuckle and stands there posing and rubbing her breasts; showing off for the fans.

But Scarlett takes control of the match as she works on wearing down Christina with power moves. Scarlett doesn’t pass up any chance to work on Christina’s tits either! With Christina in trouble after a Backbreaker, Scarlett pulls Christina to her knees and applies a Breast Smother. Holding Ricci’s face buried in her cleavage, Scarlett swings Ricci back and forth.

Christina tries to punch her way out of the hold, beating on Scarlett’s hips and sides, but as she runs out of air, her punches lose power and her resistance fades. The ref lifts Christina’s arm three times and each time it drops limp and lifeless.

After Scarlett has her arm raised and makes a lap around the ring she returns to Ricci, slapping her face and tweaking her nipples to revive Christina. The ref moves to step in, but Scarlett says, “I just want a WORD with her.” Christina’s eyes begin to flutter and she sucks in a lung of air. Scarlett leans over saying, “Think TWICE about bad-mouthing my girls in the future.” Scarlett leaves the ring followed a few moments later by Christina who is not only embarrassed but in obvious pain.
Match 6: Kristen Kruek vs Elisha Cuthbert

These two look they want to finish the fight they began in the promo. Both are good wrestlers but this match at times degenerates into a catfight with pulling hair, raking fingernails on body parts, tit tortures and crotch attacks. Both women’s predictions of a short match are proven wrong as the action goes back and forth.

Kristen whips Elisha into the ropes and as the blonde returns Kristen drops low, placing one leg in front of Elisha as the other kicks the back of the blonde’s legs. The Drop Toe Hold bounces Elisha’s face and chest on the mat. She folds Elisha’s legs across each other and drops her butt down, trapping the blonde’s legs. Kirsten locks her hands on Elisha’s chin pulling back. Elisha struggles to make it to the ropes it looks like Elisha is about to tap out when she grabs the ropes.

Kristen, looking to finish the match, forces Elisha into a corner and hammers Elisha’s impressive tits. Elisha cries out with early blows, but by the time the hard-hearted brunette is done beating Elisha’s melons, the blonde hangs lifeless in the corner.

When the ref warns Kristen to get the action out of the corner, she brushes by the ref saying, “OK. I’ll get her out.”

Kristen jumps on to the second rope straddling Elisha, wraps her legs around Elisha’s head and falls backward in a Huricanrana that would have ended the match if Elisha hadn’t wrapped her arms around the top rope. While Elisha stayed upright, Kristen landed on the top of her head.

Elisha takes advantage of the misstep by Kristen to roll her over and go for a Matchbook Pin. The ref makes the count, but doesn’t see Elisha has her feet on the second rope adding leverage. Elisha rolls out of the ring and heads to the back before the ref or Kristen can stop her. A replay a few minutes later shows the ref and Kristen of Elisha’s deception but when Kristen looks at the ref, he can only shrug. Kristen gives a disgusted look and heads back to tell Elisha what she thinks of her tactic.
Match 7: Laura Prepon vs Amanda Bynes

Both women are both winless. The bruise on Laura’s cheek from Amanda’s “accidental” headbutt during the promo is all but gone. The redhead tries to push the youngster around, but - to her credit - Amanda keeps fighting back until Laura goes after Amanda’s firm breasts, removing the blonde’s top. But Amanda’s not laying down for Laura and shortly she tears away HER top to expose Laura’s pale breasts. Amanda at times seems unsure of herself when she’s in control and misses several chances to cover for a possible win.

Later, when Laura has Amanda in trouble she does go for covers, but each time Amanda kicks out. Laura continues her dirty tactics, giving Amanda a Wedgie that leaves the youngster squealing. Then Laura follows up, trapping Amanda face up on the mat and giving her a Front Wedgie that has Amanda in tears.

Lack of wrestling skills cause the match to degenerate into a catfight and Amanda repays Laura for the butt Wedgie by giving the redheads shorts a hard yank upward. She also mauls Amanda’s tits while she’s trapped in the ropes, then Cunt Punts her. Laura then drags to beaten girl to the center of the ring and sits on Amanda’s stomach as she Jackhammers punches into Amanda’s rack.

Laura digs both hands into Amanda’s fleshy mounds and squeezes until Amanda, teary-eyed and blubbering, begs the ref to stop the fight. Signaling for the bell the ref demands Laura to release her grip. She takes a few agonizing seconds before she complies.

Laura struts around the ring as if she’d just won a title while Amanda remains on the mat, sobbing softly and gently cupping her mangled mammeries. Laura goes back to where Amanda is sitting in the ring, looks down and smirks, “Told ya, little Miss Classy. Messing with me is NOT a good idea.”

As Laura leaves the ring, Amanda mumbles, “Fuckin bitch!”

Cut Scene 2
The giant screen above the ring comes on showing the very chaotic sight of Kelly Preston running out of the way as the Hilton sisters and Eva of Destruction fight in the interview area. It isn’t long before the Simpson Sisters and the team of Shakira and Sofia Vergara show up to join in and all four tag teams are battling until a large group of security shows up and tries to restore order as the screen goes black.
Match 8: Kate Beckinsale vs April Scott.

This veteran-rookie match-up features two brunettes, both in need of a win and each looking to get it at the others expense. April is the more aggressive in the early going, taking some short-cuts with the rules to remove Kate’s top.

Kate uses her experience to advantage to stay in the match and she removes April’s top, then gives the rookie a few Boob Slaps to let her know she’s not pleased with the rookie’s tactics. Then Kate begins working on April’s legs and back and when she applies a Boston Crab in the center of the ring, she forces April to submit after almost a minute. Afterward, fans are still rudely chanting “BOR-ING” and demanding the two women get out of the ring as they go to commercial.
Match 9: Laetitia Casta vs Julia Stiles.

Julia must have watched Laetitia match with Olivia Munn, because when the French woman gets cocky and loses focus, Julia is able to take advantage! She uses her long legs to trap Laetitia several times and when Casta seems to be fading, Julia goes for some riskier moves.

But Laetitia escapes and rolls out of the ring onto the floor where she hopes to gain time to regroup. Julia unwisely follows and Laetitia, standing by the timekeepers table, lures Julia in. Without warning, Laetitia grabs the bell off the table, whirls around and rams the ring bell into Julia’s belly! Dropping the bell, Casta grabs the back of Julia’s head and BONK slams it into the edge of the table.

For the next several minutes, Laetitia alternates between rolling into the ring to break the countout and rolling back out to resume Julia’s beating outside on the floor. Once the blonde is unable to defend herself, Casta strips her naked and heaves her nude body back into the ring under the bottom rope. Laetitia kicks Julia out to the middle of the ring where she lowers her ass on Julia’s face.

Slowly, Laetitia’s right hand slides down over Julia’s pumping belly and into the thicket of curly hair where she clamps down hard on the blonde’s pubic mound. Her Facesit/Crotch Claw combination has Julia frantically slapping out her submission in under a minute. But Laetitia continues mauling Julia before she finally releases her grip, stands up and prances around the ring blowing kisses to the fans who are - for the most part - booing her.
Main Event: 12 Woman Royal Rumble (Winner gets the next shot to take Biel’s World Title)

The announcer climbs into the ring as four referee’s come down and take up positions on each side of the squared circle. “The following match is a Royal Rumble for the right to face Jessica Biel for the World Title!” After a few seconds, he continues, “The First two women will enter the ring, then every two minutes another star will join the match. Wrestlers can ONLY be eliminated by being sent over the top rope to the floor below…let’s Ruummmmmble!”

Drowning Pool’s “Bodies” begins to play while Kristanna Loken comes down the ramp toward the ring. She’s wearing her black top and bottom and after climbing into the ring, Loken turns and waits to see who’ll be the first woman to face her.

Fans erupt as Marilyn Manson’s ‘Sweet Dreams’ announces the arrival of Katherine Heigl who’s wearing a lavender two-piece that puts her awesome cleavage on prominant display - as usual. Kat doesn’t take long to get to the ring and as soon as she climbs through the ropes, a two minute countdown starts on the big screen above the stage.

Kat says, “I should have been the one to face Jessica for the automatic bid.”

Loken responds, “You!?! You aren’t even gonna make it to the next woman!”

Not waiting for more talk, Kat charges Loken, hammering a Forearm to the blonde’s perky bosom. Kristanna takes the blow and hammers one of her own back, her forearm sinking deep into Kat’s hulking breasts. The two large women trade shots for a few seconds before Kat kneelifts Kristanna at the belt line! Doubled over in pain, Loken is unable to block Kat’s European Uppercut.

Kristanna’s arms windmill as she staggers backward into the ropes. Kat follows, wrapping both arms around Kristanna’s long legs and trying to lift Loken up and out over the top rope but Loken hangs onto the top rope, grimly straining to keep herself from being tipped over and eliminated in the matches first minute.

Kristanna’s right hand comes off the ropes long enough to Punch Kat in the forehead. Stunned, Kat still manages to get one of Kristanna’s long legs over the top rope. A Back Fist to the forehead from Loken sends Heigl staggering back and Kristanna swings her leg back into the ring, pushes off the ropes and Clotheslines Heigl who hits the mat flat on her back! Kat bouncs right back up to her feet while Kristanna, who thinks she has more time, is jawing with the fans.

Kat comes up behind Loken and Bearhugs her around the waist. She grunts as she lifts and carries the shocked screaming blonde over with a German Suplex. Kristanna hits THUMP and Kat pushes the stunned blonde off to the side, gets to her feet and leering down at Loken, says, “Guess I should soften you up before getting rid of you.”

She begins to Stomp the prone blonde, beginning with Kristanna’s stomach and moving down to one thigh, then back up to her belly before moving down her other leg. Kristanna groans in pain when Kat returns to Stomp Loken’s stomach before she continues upward to the blonde’s little tits and her chest. Kat finishes her Stomping voyage with a boot to the forehead that leaves Loken loopy and glassy-eyed.

Kat takes a moment to catch her breath and when she looks up at the clock, she sees she still has about thirty seconds on the timer before her next opponent arrives so she Hair-hauls Kristanna up.

“Let whoever’s coming next kno…AAAAHHH!” Kristanna fires an uppercut into Kat’s left boob which sends Kat’s heavy tit up and almost out of the cup.

But Kristanna falls back to the mat though unable to follow up on her attack and several seconds tick by during which Kat catches her breath and adjusts her displaced top. When Kat and Kristanna get to their feet, they begin to trade heavy-handed blows. Kristanna breaks the back-and-forth action when she grabs Kat’s wrist and Irish Whips her to a corner. Only a few seconds remain before the next woman’s arrival when Kristanna charges Kat to crush her in the corner…

…but Kat sidesteps and Loken rams herself chest first into the turnbuckle. Kat pulls herself up using the ropes while Kristanna hangs in the corner with her arms draped over the top rope as the horn sounds…
The Cult’s “Fire Woman” begins playing as coming out next is Milla Jovovich with white top and bottom on. Milla wastes no time getting to the ring and she goes right after Kat, kicking the blonde in the belly, then scooping her up and Bodyslamming her to the canvas!

Milla turns to Kristanna who has turned around in the corner, “You going to help get rid of Jug Queen?”

Kristanna winces in pain as she pushes out of the corner to center-ring where Milla is using Kat’s hair and bra strap to drag the blonde to her feet. Kristanna hammers a Forearm across the red-heads back, driving Milla to her knees.

“I work alone,” growls Kristanna.

She grabs Milla by the hair and jerks her upright, then Whips Milla into the ropes. When Milla comes bouncing back, the blonde raises her leg and her foot nails Milla in the face! With two down opponents to choose from, Kristanna pulls Milla to her feet and spins the redhead around to face her. Kristanna wraps her hands around Milla’s throat in a blatant Choke. Lifting the Milla straight up, Loken sits out, driving Jovovich into the canvas with a Chokeslam Powerbomb she calls, “The Painkiller!”

Milla’s body convulses once as Kristanna tosses her legs aside. Kristanna is just getting to her feet when Kat kicks her in the stomach. Loken rolls across the canvas a few times and when she comes to rest she’s holding her stomach. Kat bends down to take a handful of Milla’s red hair and snarls, “Jug Queen!? That wasn’t very nice. If you’re going to talk about the girls you had better say something nice!”

Kat grabs the back of Milla’s bottom and, yanks up, giving her a Wedgie as she runs Milla toward the ropes, heaves and sends the Euro-trash redhead up, over the top rope and out of the ring! Milla lands hard on the floor and the ref on that side moves in., checking on Milla before sending her to the back.

Kat waves at Milla, taunting, “Thanks for coming.” Milla answers by shouting something in Russian as she’s limping up the ramp to the rear.

Kristanna uses the ropes to pull herself up and as she leans on the strands, Kat turns to her asking, “OK Blondefoot, where were we before we were interrupted?”

Kristanna waits for Kat to get a little closer, then pushes of the ropes and runs the big chested blonde over with a Clothesline.

Kristanna turns around and screams, “I HATE that name!” She hauls Kat up by the hair and wraps both hands around the blonde’s throat. But Kat brings her arms up inside Kristanna’s, blocking her grip. Then with a roar of fury, Kat hammers Forearm Smashes to Kristanna’s chest, devastating her perky tits as she drives her backward a step at a time until Loken is slumped against the ropes with her arms draped limp over the top rope.

Kat backs up to get momentum, then surges forward to Clothesline Kristanna backward over the top rope. But Kristanna’s foot shoots up, burying itself in Kat’s belly button! Kat drops to the mat holding her stomach while Kristanna hangs onto the ropes trying to catch her breath. Neither is really ready when the horn sounds to bring out the next wrestler...
Korn’s “Freak on a Leash” begins play and Missy Peregrym comes bouncing out in a two-tone bikini, the top olive drab, the bottom black. Looking up at the ring and seeing Loken and Heigl, Missy stops and looks back to check the clock. The two Blondes in the ring are just beginning to stir as Missy turns to a fan asking, “Should I really be in a hurry to go there?”

Not waiting for her to answer, Missy resumes her slow walk toward the ring where Kat and Kristanna are locking up in a Collar and Elbow Tie-up. Missy finally makes it to the ring where Kristanna has hit Kat with a Kneelift. Then Loken Whips Heigl toward the corner opposite of that where Missy is climbing the steps.

While Kristanna charges into Kat and CRUSHES her against the turnbuckles with a Clothesline, Missy climbs the other turnbuckle and takes a seat on the top turnbuckle to watch the action. Kristanna pushes Kat’s head back over the top turnbuckle, getting a clear shot for an Overhand Chop down onto Kat’s bulging right tit.

Missy cups her hands in front of her mouth and lets out a loud, approving, “WOOOOOOO!”

Kristanna turns around and sees the grinning rookie sitting on the turnbuckle. “What the fu…AIEEEEE!” Kris screams in pain after Kat grabs her by the shoulders, leaps up and drives both knees into Loken’s back as she pulls the big blonde over backward and brings her down onto her raised knees, bending her back sharply over them.

Kristanna screams in pain, Missy claps to show her appreciation of Kat’s move. Kat looks up, sees the brunette and brushes Loken aside as she charges across the ring. Just before Kat arrives, Missy stands and vaults over Heigl, leaving the buxom beauty to crash into the corner with an arm full of emptiness. Missy’s leap carrys her to the center of the ring where she Somersaults and catches Kristanna - who’s just getting to her feet - with a Clothesline!

Kat stands in the corner with a bewildered look on her face, seeing Kristanna on the mat moaning in pain. Missy holds up an arm and lets out a loud, “YEAH!” Then Missy waits in the corner, leaning against the turnbuckle while Kristanna struggles to her feet. She’s between the other two women but when Missy insolently waves to her, Loken turns and charges toward Missy who easily ducks under a Big Forearm attempt by Kristanna.

The momentum of Kristanna’s attack carries her halfway over the top rope and as she teeters on the brink of elimination, Missy moves in quickly, thrusts an arm up between Kristanna’s thrashing legs and tries to finish her headfirst trip over the top rope. Missy is so intent on eliminating Loken, she never sees Kat sprinting across the ring behind her. Fans are surprised that Kat doesn’t help Missy eliminate Kristanna but instead drives a Forearm into Missy’s back.

Missy drops to her knees and Loken’s feet come back down to the canvas. Kat spins Missy around hisses, “Welcome to the match…ROOKIE!”

Then Kat nails Missy with a European Uppercut that snaps the brunette’s head back. If Kristanna is grateful for Kat’s save, she has a strange way of showing it, because she Side Kicks Kat in the ribs. Kat sinks to the mat holding her ribs while Loken turns her attention to Missy. Pulling the breathless brunette off the ropes, Kristanna slaps one arm up between her legs and grabs a rude handful of Missy’s ass! Her other arm goes across Missy chest, then with very little effort, she lifts Missy up and carrys the struggling brunette to the middle of the ring.

Kristanna looks out into the crowd, grins, then Body Slams Missy to the canvas. Kristanna begins to STOMP the rookie but then Heigl gets back in action. Kat charges Kristanna, Shoulder Blocking the big blonde and knocking her to the mat. Kat is holding her shoulder and all three are down on the mat when the horn sounds…
The Fans go off as the Fly’s “Got you Where I Want You” begins to play as Katie Holmes appears in her usual grey wrestling outfit. She strolls casually toward the ring, giving all three women the chance to slowly get to their feet before she finally climbs through the ropes. All four stare at each other without moving. No one seems to be willing to make the first move until, without warning, all four burst into motion!

Kat and Kristanna resume trading heavy blows while Katie and Missy square off swapping punches. Katie quickly begins to outslug Missy and after a Straight Right to the forehead leaves Missy glassy eyed, Katie moves in and wraps one arm around Missy’s waist, lifting her in the air. Katie posts her left knee and drops Missy’s crotch on the extended limb. After the Inverted Atomic Drop, Katie casually dumps Missy’s writhing body on the mat and turns to watch the other two.

Kat tackles Kristanna and they roll around the ring, eventually rolling out under the bottom rope, across the apron and dropping out of sight onto the floor. Katie seeing the two blondes are outside the ring, goes to the nearest ref and asks, “They out?”

Ref yells back, “No! They went UNDER the ropes.”

The two blondes separate and walk away in opposite directions, both taking their time getting back into the ring so Katie turns her attention back to Missy, “Guess I’ll have to settle for beating YOU ‘til they get back.”

She grabs a handful of Missy’s dark hair, pulling her to her feet, then steers Missy toward the nearest corner where she slams the rookie back against the turnbuckles. Katie puts her hands on the second rope on either side of Missy’s hips, then bends over and uses her arms to help drive her shoulder into Missy washboard abs! Each shoulder lifts Missy’s feet ff the mat as sher body folds forward over Katie’s shoulder.

The fans count along as Katie RAMS her shoulder in…SIX!...SEVEN!...EIGHT!...NINE!...TEN!.

Katie finally stops and Missy slides down in the corner, sitting on her haunches, her arms across her clutching her abs. Katie turns to see Kat leaning on the ring apron while Kristanna is using the guard rail to help herself to her feet. Katie turns back to Missy, grabs both of the young woman’s ankles and drags her to mid-ring. Katie drops Missy’s legs and uses a handful of dark hair to Hair-haul the squealing Missy back to her feet with.

But as she starts to rise, Missy suddenly wraps an arm around Katie’s neck and the other hooks behind Katie’s knee. Missy rolls Katie up in a nice Small Package but Katie quickly kicks out and gets to her feet with an angry look.

“You DOPE; pins mean nothing in this match!” Katie chides.

Missy’s response is, “I know; but I’m back on my feet and you’re pissed off.”

Kat climbs back into the ring in one corner and Kristanna in another. All four women are back in the ring, each warily watching the others as they maintain a safe distance between them until…
The horn sounds…and the arena explodes as Sound Garden’s “Black Hole Sun” begins. Neve Campbell comes out of the back quickly wearing her customary all-black outfit. The four women in the ring spring into action just before Neve reaches the ring. Trading partners, Katie goes after Kat and while they slug it out, Kristanna is chasing Missy around the ring until Missy turns and kicks Kristanna in the gut. Neve rolls out under the bottom rope and takes time to look over the situation in the ring where Missy follows her Kick to the gut with another Kick, this one to Kristanna’s cunt and Kristanna drops to her knees with a stricken expression and both hands wedged between her clenched thighs.

Missy at Neve saying, “You gonna give me a hand with her?” pointing to Kristanna. Missy begins trying to lift the big blonde and Neve comes to Missy’s aid. Together, they get Kristanna upright and back her against the ropes. Each takes a leg and the two brunettes lift Kristanna’s lower body up to shoulder height.

Loken wraps her arms around the top rope, but the two brunette’s toss her legs over the top rope and as she goes upside down, she loses her grip and goes crashing to the floor on her head and left shoulder. There will be no rematch with Jessica Biel for Kristanna Loken! The ref moves in quickly to prevent Kristanna from going back into the ring and, after a brief argument, the disgruntled blonde stomps angrily off to her locker room.

In the ring, Katie Holmes has just been Body Slammed by Kat Heigl. Apparently Missy and Neve’s short-lived alliance is over and they’re trading punches like old enemies. Neve ducks a punch from Missy, then from slightly behind Missy, Neve reaches back, wraps an arm around Missy’s neck and drags Missy back and down across her thigh in a Backbreaker.

Kat is busy stomping Katie into the mat while Neve picks up Missy’s left ankle and begins kicking her thigh. Kat takes a few seconds break, leaning on the ropes leaving Katie curled in a ball at her feet. Kat watches Neve roll Missy onto her stomach, cross the brunette’s long legs and then lace her leg over Missy’s, trapping the rookie’s leg. Neve slides her left arm under Missy’s right arm and around her neck. When she clasps her hands together, Neve has locked in the STF! Missy screams in pain and then grabs the bottom rope to force a break.

Missy’s mistake is that in this match, refs aren’t going to break holds and Neve is free to continue her torture, wearing Missy down. Fans get a little antsy at the lull in the action. While Kat continues to gather her energy, Katie crawls to the ropes opposite her. Neve is content maintaining her STF on Missy who is trying desperately to free herself. With limited action going on in the ring the fans start to watch the clock and count it down…Three…Two…One…
The horn sounds…and ZZ Tops “Legs” begins and the fans blow the roof off as Charlize Theron comes sprinting to the ring wearing her usually gold two-piece. The reaction in the ring is far different than the crowds and it’s easy to read Kat’s lips as she mutters, “Oh Shit”

Charlize picks up the pace and by the time she reaches the ring she’s almost sprinting. She slides in under the bottom rope and pops to her feet. Kat is the closest one when Charlize enters the ring and she reacts immediately. But Charlize blocks Kat’s attempt at a Punch and nails Kat with a Forearm to the side of the head. Kat’s legs unhinge and her eyes glaze over. She staggers two steps backward, then her knees lock and she topples backward onto her ass.

Charlize starts moving toward Kat, but Katie Holmes is back on her feet and she hammers a Forearm Smash to Charlize’s back. Turning around, Charlize gets hit with another Holmes’ Forearm Smash, this one targeting her small, firm breasts. Charlize grunts but she ignores the pain to drive a Kneelift into the brunette’s gut.

Charlize simply says, “Not smart” before hooking one arm around Katie’s head. Shelifts Katie’s arm and pushes her head under Katie’s raised arm, then lifts and snaps her hips, Suplexing Katie who lands with a loud THUD!

As soon as Charlize gets back to her feet, Neve Campbell gives up on her STF on Missy and charges the Golden Goddess. Charlize surges forward and both go for Clotheslines simultanteously. Charlize’s arm hits flush to Campbell’s throat while Neve’s smashes Theron’s breasts flat. Neve does a flip in mid-air and WHAM her head bounces off the canvas.

Charlize’s momentum carries her across the ring to Missy who is trying to pull herself up by the ropes. Missy’s leg shoots out, catching Charlize in the stomach and stopping her in her tracks. But again Charlize shakes off the punch, pulls Missy upright and shoves her back against the ropes. One hand bends Missy’s head back over the top rope while Charlize runs her admiring fingertips over the swell of the brunette’s cleavage.

“Nice boobs,” Charlize sighs enviously, then she yanks down Missy’s top baring her breasts.

Seeing what is coming Missy cries, “NO!” as Charlize brings an Overhand Slap down on her right boob. SMACK! She repeats it with another Slap to the left boob. The loud fleshy CRACK draws “OOHS” from the fans. Charlize backs up a few steps and leaps forward, sending Missy flipping over the top rope with a Clothesline. Missy lands and curls up on the floor, not moving for sometime before sitting up, adjusting her top, and hobbling away from the ring.

Charlize turns around after eliminating Missy…but too late! Neve’s already in mid-air with a Drop Kick that hits Charlize just above her left knee. Charlize falls back into the ropes and Neve scrambles to her feet to follow up. Grabbing the back of Charlize’s head and pulling her down, Neve brings her other arm sweeping up to nail Charlize with knee-buckling European Uppercut! The attacks by Neve are the first that have had a visible effect on Theron!

Not giving Charlize time to recover, Neve Knife Edge Chops Charlize across her breasts and this time she is heard to moan in pain. Theron comes back, however, hammering her fist into Neve’s forehead, beating Neve down to one knee. Neve struggles back to her feet and staggers away. Charlize starts after her, but Kat grabs Charlize’s wrist, pulling her into a vicious Standing Clothesline - again pancaking Theron’s breasts! Kat bends over, grabs Charlize’s short blonde hair and Hair-hauls her to her feet. Kat scoops Charlize up, turns to the ropes and prepares to toss Theron out of the ring but Charlize grabs the top rope and prevents Kat from getting her up and over the rope.

While Kat is struggling with Charlize, Katie Holmes arrives to help Kat. They hold Charlize in the air but even together they can’t break Theron’s grip on the top rope until Neve steps back and kicks Charlize’s arms off the rope. Then Kat and Katie join in tossing Charlize over the top rope. Her body bounces off the apron and lands on the floor below.

“ARRRRRR…” Charlize screams in frustration. She’d been the favorite to win the Battle Royale and now she’d been eliminated, missing a golden opportunity to get her hands on the World Title. Still, it took three women working together to eliminate her and observers still see Theron as a real threat to whoever holds the title! Katie, Neve and Kat all sit on the mat trying to regain their strength as they wait for the horn and…
…Ozzy Osbourne’s “I Don’t Wanna Stop” plays and Tricia Helfer comes running from the back. Tricia has bright blue wrestling outfit with strings on the sides of the bottom, exposing all of her long legs. She climbs through the ropes and is met by all three women. Tricia, taking punches from all three women, does the only thing she can and fights back desperately. She nails Katie with a right that knocks the brunette backward. Turning to Neve, Tricia drives a Knee up into Neve’s navel as Kat Hammers Tricia’s back. Still, Kat can’t stop Tricia from shoving the gasping Neve into a corner several feet away.

Then Tricia turns to Kat, “OK tough girl; just you and me.”

Tricia blocks an attempted punch from Kat and moves in close, wrapping her arms around Kat’s torso. Tricia lifts and spins taking the exhausted Kat over with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Kat lies coughing as her body spasms and goes still. Tricia steps over Kat and scans the ring.

Neve is on her knees holding her back where it hit the thinly padded turnbuckles. Katie is on her feet and moving toward Tricia which makes her the easy choice. As they close with each other, Katie ducks Tricia’s attempted right hand and slides around behind Tricia. She reaches back, grabbing the blonde by the head and drops to the mat, snapping Tricia’s neck down across her shoulder. The Neckbreaker stops Tricia’s rampage.

Katie waste no time getting to her feet. Bending down, Katie pulls Tricia up by the hair and a bra strap. She checks to see if either Kat or Neve is able to help her getting Tricia up and over the ropes. Neve is up and she comes to help. Katie crouches slightly, her arm between Tricia legs as she begins lifting the blonde up for a Body Slam but Tricia blocks Katie’s attempt to lift her and Hammers a forearm down on the brunette’s back.

Katie tries to lift Tricia again but she blocks the attempt again. But before Tricia can Hammer Katie’s back again, Neve slams a Double Ax-handle to Tricia’s back. Katie lets out a scream of rage as she lifts the blonde and turns, carrying Tricia toward the ropes.

Katie dips at the knees and pushing up hard sends Tricia over the top rope but the blonde catches the top rope and hangs on, letting her feet land on the ring apron. Katie tries shoving Tricia off the apron, but Tricia slugs Katie with a straight right hand, knocking her back. Neve charges Tricia, but the blonde sticks her long leg through the ropes and her foot impales Neve’s belly. Tricia starts to climb back in the ring but the leaping Kat drives her shoulder into the blonde and knocks her off the apron and sends her crashing to the floor.

After defending the ring from two of the most dangerous women in the Rumble Kat, Katie and Neve all lay sprawled in the ring trying to catch their breath as the timer runs down and the horn sounds...
…Shinedown’s “Fly form the Inside” plays and Allison Mack comes running from the rear. Allison dives headfirst under the rope and draws a bead on Kat, Spearing the biggest woman in the ring. Kat’s body folds around Allison’s shoulder as she is hit and driven onto her back. Allison lands on top of Kat, straddles her, lifts the blondes head and fires several Forearm shots to the side of her head.

Getting to their feet Katie and Neve see Allison is drilling Kat, so Neve charges Katie and Drop Kicks the brunette in the chest. Katie would have fallen, but she’s held up when she hits the ropes. Katie’s luck goes from bad to worst when her arms get tangled between the top and middle ropes. Katie tries to keep Neve away by kicking at her, but Neve moves in between her legs and, with a hint of ironic sympathy, says, “Sorry Katie, I can’t pass this up.” Neve goes to work, using her fists on Katie’s mid-section and pounding it like she’s working out on a heavy bag.

Allison continues her attack on Kat, rolling the big blonde onto her belly then she applies a Camel Clutch. Allison heaves back on Kat’s chin, then smashes Kat’s face with a Crossface. Allison sits back and bounces the hold, causing Kat to cry in agony.

Neve’s heartless beating of Katie continues, her focus on Katie’s undefended belly although Neve does work in blows to Katie’s unprotected tits as well. After about a minute, Neve gives up on her assault on Katie’s body and tries lifting the brunette up and over the rope. Katie’s drops her hips, making it difficult for Neve to get her up. The fans are shocked to see the two smaller women dominating their bigger opponents.

Neve turns and yells, “Alli give me a hand.”

Allison, who still has Kat in the Camel Clutch, releases the blonde to go aid Neve but she says, “Just because we’re working together now doesn’t mean shit.”

Neve’s grunted reply is, “Agreed.”

Together Neve and Allison get Katie up parallel with the mat. Katie yanks her leg away from Neve and swings over, smashing it into Allison’s face. Allison falls to the mat with her hands over her mouth. Neve tries holding Katie up alone standing between Katie’s legs and lifting Holmes’s heiney. Katie sees a chance to clamp her legs down on Neve’s head and when she does, Neve forgets about dumping her over the ropes to try to free her head. Just then the horn sounds…
…and Aimee Allen’s “I’d start a Revolution” blares through the sound system. Ashley Scott, wearing a black wrestling outfit, doesn’t waste time getting to the ring. She goes around to the left to avoid entering where Katie and Neve are struggling, slides in under the ropes and goes straight for Neve’s back.

Katie pushes on the ropes, finally freeing her arms and she drops to the canvas landing on the back of her head. Neve, still trapped in Katie’s Scissors taken over as well, landing in the ropes. Ashley pulls Neve out of the loosened Head Scissors and drags her to her feet. Ashley moves Neve to a clear spot in the ring, then sends her to the far ropes with an Irish Whip. Neve rebounds back to Ashley who lifts her leg, slamming Neve under the chin with a Big Boot.

Ashley looks around the ring, steps over Neve to get at Allison Mack who is back on her feet. Ashley forces her into the nearest corner where she sweeps her long leg up, driving her foot into the side of Allison’s head. Holding the ropes for balance, Ashley pushes on Allison’s head and neck.

Heigl, who has been wrestling over twenty minutes and is near exhaustion, slowly gets to her feet and goes to where Neve is on all fours. Kat kicks the brunette in the ribs, flipping her over, then hair-hauls Neve to her feet and sends her backward into the turnbuckle in the opposite corner from where Ashley is working on Allison.

Kat charges and drives her shoulder into Neve’s gut, wraps an arm around Neve’s thighs and lifts Neve up onto her shoulders. Carrying her like a sack of rice, Kat walks down the ropes, stops and heaves Neve over the top rope; sending her sailing out of the ring and crashing to the floor below!

Leaning over the top rope, Kat says, “Good luck going after the Double X Title, Neve.”

Campbell shakes her head and screams, “Screw you, Juggy!”

Ashley lowers her foot and lets Allison drop in the corner, then starts to Stomp Allison’s belly, trying to drive her foot all the way through to Allison’s spine. Katie pulls herself up by the ropes and it’s too late by the time Katie realizes her mistake! Kat slams into her with a Clothesline, flipping her over the top rope. She lands on the apron, but can’t hang on and she rolls off onto the floor below!

Kat, still getting her second (or third) wind, takes a look at the clock and sees there are only seconds remaining before the next woman comes to the ring. So she moves over, grabs Ashley by the shoulder, spins her around and in the same motion chops her across the chest just as the horn blares…
… Future Leaders of the World “Let Me Out” begins and Erica Durance comes out wearing a red top with black bottom. She makes a bee-line for the ring where Kat is pulling Ashley out to the center of the ring. Erica climbs into the ring and looks at her Smallville co-star Allison in the corner, then turns and watches Kat kick Ashley in the gut to double her over. Kat leans over Ashley’s back, wraps her arms around Scott’s waist and lifts and flips Ashley into position for a Powerbomb. WHAM!

The ring shakes when Kat pounds Ashley into the canvas. Kat staggers back, keeping her feet under her after driving Ashley into the mat. Erica takes advantage of the opening, running at Kat and looping an arm around Heigl’s head to take the blonde over with Swinging DDT.

Erica pops to her feet and sees Allison crawling toward Ashley. The smaller blonde takes a seat on Ashley’s stomach and begins hammering blows to Scott’s head. Erica moves over to watch Allison as she continues to brutalize Ashley.

“Alli! Let’s get ONE of them outta here right now,” Erica advises.

Allison nods and slams the palms of her hand down on Ashley’s tits, pancaking them. Standing Allison points to Ashley, “HER!”

Ashley is holding her breasts with both hands and writhing in pain as Erica and Allison step to either side, grab Ashley’s bottom with one hand and take her under the arm with the other. They lift and run to the ropes where Allison and Erica toss Ashley headfirst over the top rope. She sails all the way over the padding surrounding the ring and crashes into the guardrail!

Allison turns to go after Kat, but Erica taps her shoulder saying, “No hurry there. She’s not going anywhere.”

With her hand still on Allison’s back, Erica shocks everyone - Allison most of all - when she grabs Allison’s wrist and pulls her onto her shoulders. Erica tosses Allison over the ropes with an FU that sends her crashing to the floor below. Allison sits up with a hurt look of shock on her face, looking plaintively at Erica for some answer. Erica seems slightly distraught over her action and starts to give Allison an answer, then changes her mind. Instead, Erica kicks the bottom rope and turns back into the ring where Kat lays still curled up on the mat. Then the horn sounds and the last woman heads to the ring!
Rob Zombie’s “Super Beast” Starts playing and at the same time Rosario Dawson heads to the ring wearing a pink and black striped bikini. Erica moves to the center of the ring to await Rosario who climbs into the ring and goes straight to Erica. They start trading punches, but Erica Kneelifts Rosario just below the navel.

Erica takes the winded Rosario’s wrist and sends her into the ropes. When Rosario rebounds, Erica is waiting and catches the Hispanic Hottie around the waist, lifting Rosario up and holding her parallel to the mat. Then Erica drops with a Side Slam that leaves Rosario shuddering on the mat. Erica pops right back up to her feet and Stomps away on Rosario’s stomach and chest. Rosario grunts with each Stomp.

Erica hair hauls Rosario up saying, “Time to go!”

As she did with Allison, Erica lifts Rosario into a Fireman’s Carry, walks to the ropes and heaves her out. The fans are going nuts as it comes down to Erica and Kat Heigl. Erica is barely sweating as she turns to find the worn out Kat pulling herself up by the ropes. Sensing an easy target, Erica charges across the ring with her arm raised for a Clothesline. But just before she smashes into Kat, Heigl drops, grabs the top rope and pulls down! Erica goes sailing over Kat and out of the ring onto the floor!

Kat sits down in the ring, leaning back on her palms, her heavy chest heaving from the exertion of a long, brutal match as Marilyn Manson’s ‘Sweet Dreams’ begins playing. At first, Kat is so weary she doesn’t seem to realize she’s won. But finally, it dawns on her and she struggles to her feet, holding her arms up in triumph as she soaks in the applause. Erica continues to sit outside the ring, leaning against the security railing in shock as Kat waves to the fans, then climbs each turnbuckle in turn to salute her fans.

Richard Fannin and Archer sit waiting for Harold Green in his office. The door opens and the promoter walks in. Rich asks, “Where were you?”

Harold sighs, “I just cut April Scott. Gonna send her back to one of the developmental leagues where she can get some work in and try again later.”

“Who’s taking her place?”

Harold shrugs, “I figure that out in the next few days.”

A knock at the door comes a few seconds later and in walks Kate Beckinsale. “I just want to give you notice I’m going back to the European league for a while.” The Brit announces.

Harold nods, “OK. Ummm, if you want to, I won’t stop you.” Kate thanks the promoter and walks out. Harold looks at his two guests grinning, “Well I guess I’ll be looking for TWO new wrestlers.”

Another knock comes a short time later. This is Katherine Heigl, now wearing jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt. Harold says, “Congratulations. You earned the right to face Jessica Biel.”

Kat smiles broadly and cross over to the desk taking a pen and signs the contract. She puts the pen down saying, “When I finish off Jessica I want a BIG celebration afterwards.”

Harold nods, “The winner will be happy with what’s planned.”

Kat shakes hands with the three men and leaves the room. After closing the door the three men laugh as out side the door Kat’s cool exterior is removed and they can hear her shouting for joy.

Archer asks, “How’d you keep Lamia out of things?”

Harold laughs, “I had our lawyers make it known there’d be a hefty suspension for anyone interfering with the Rumble.” He stands, “Well another show in the books. Ready to get a drink?”

Rich says, “I can’t wait for Show 7; Neve and Lamia in the main event, yummy!”

The three men head for Dante’s.