The Theron Interviews: #1-Gena Lee Nolin by Tank

“As a celebrity myself, I enjoy doing interviews with other celebrities. But unlike other interviewers, I’m always trying to bring out the catfight angle. It’s what is most important to me and I’m sure, when it comes right down to it, to you as well. I am intensely curious about the fights they may have had with rival celebs that the public may not be aware of. I find it fascinating how open and frank my guests are in discussing the subject.

“My interviews will be the subject of a weekly column I’m writing for a South African newspaper and I’m told, they may also be featured in a certain well known American magazine. I always try to put myself in the place of the woman I am interviewing. But I have little tolerance for anyone who I feel is not being open and honest with me.

“I always prepare a comfortable setting for my interview. My ocean front property is an ideal setting. I insist my guest dresses in a bikini (like myself) and I always have our favorite cocktails on hand to provide an atmosphere that’s casual and fun. At the end of each interview, I write a brief critique where I can be brutally honest - but also fair. My column has made me both endearing friends and bitter enemies, but I must write what I see and let the chips fall where they may.

“Gena and I were stretched out on the sand at my beachfront location. Sleek, fit, and lovely as ever, Gena wears a red bikini while I’m in silver. We sip our drinks as I delve into Gena’s catfight history...”

Charlize: “So Gena, describe a fight you had behind the scenes; one the public would love to know about but doesn’t.”

Gena: “Well, Alexandra Paul and I had it out in private once during the filming of ‘Baywatch.’ It was over something really stupid. We both knew we had to fight, though, and get it over with before the season ended so we were looking for any excuse to tussle, you know, just to see who was toughest.”

Charlize: “Yes, I can understand how you both were feeling. Who won?”

Gena: “She was tough and the fight went back and forth as we battled tooth and nail on a secluded beach. She was very strong and fit as well and was confident she could vanquish me. As our fight became a wrestling match on the sand, I was able to withstand and escape from several holds she executed on me; maneuvers which I’m sure she thought would finish me off. But I kept battling with a burning desire to win. I finally began to gain an advantage. I was able, quite unexpectedly as far as she was concerned, to wrap my thighs around her breasts from behind.

“We were both bare breasted by then and I began to yank violently at her hair while flexing my thighs around her tiny breasts and squeezing them into her chest. She was screaming at me to let her go...that she couldn’t breathe. She flashed her nails at my face and struggled desperately... like a wildwoman to free herself. I then lowered my scissors which I quickly positioned around her ribs. Then I released her hair and bent my upper body until I was flexing my biceps around her breasts while crushing her ribs with my thighs.

“She submitted to me and burst out blubbering. I finally released her. I then decided to lay on top of her, my breasts and hard nipples expanding down into hers, almost like two plump ripe grapefruits covering two little plums...or if you like... softballs on golf balls. Even your breasts, Charlize, are large in comparison to her!” (Gena giggles).

Charlize chuckles and replies: “Alright, Gena, I get it, already. You wanted to make it a breast war. But it sounded like a really intense battle.”

Gena smiles as she sweeps her hair back. “It was very gratifying, knowing I had conquered her. I remember whenever we stood together talking on the set in front of the guys in our skimpy bathing suits, I would often brush my breasts against hers when I could. Every chance I got I would impose my nipples on hers as we casually chatted. I tried to make it look as natural as possible. She felt so outdone, she would sometimes lower her face and walk away. I knew I was getting to her.

“It’s funny, but when I fantasized fighting her, I would always picture myself ruling her girlish breasts in some way. It was either with my own breasts or with my shapely thigh muscles. Rippling my biceps around them though, was a very satisfying way to defeat her. I stood over her and watched her sobbing inconsolably for a few minutes before I finally walked away. For a few moments, I felt like a dominant headmistress standing over a beaten schoolgirl.”

Charlize: “Interesting! Is there any woman, in particular, you fantasize fighting?”

Gena: “I would LOVE to fight Demi Moore. She’s just a little brunette to me, but she thinks she’s a lot tougher than she really is.”

Charlize: “Would you want to fight her in public - or privately?”

Gena: “Oh, definitely in public. If there were a celebrity boxing or wrestling event on TV, I’d challenge her in a heartbeat. I’d love to punch her out or wrap my legs around her face and force her to submit in front of a nationwide audience. I just think she’s so arrogant - humbling her has always been a secret fantasy of mine.”

Charlize: “Have you ever been too frightened to fight another celebrity?”

Gena puts her head down as she explains, “Well...I remember when I was filming Sheena. Laila Ali was a guest star in one episode, I think it was called ‘Meltdown in Maltaka.’ We got along fine for the most part, but she went out of her way to flaunt her physical superiority between scenes.”

Charlize: “In what way?”

Gena: “Well, she’d do things like call me, “Kitten” - which I detested. It was so funny to her that I could be a real Jungle Queen. She was just joking, but deep down I felt humiliated. She’d go out of her way to lift me in the air in front of everyone and carry me around in her arms on the set. I’d pretend to laugh, but what could I do? She even put me over her lap once and jokingly pretended, to my chagrin, to spank me in front of the whole cast!”

Charlize (giggles): “I can’t blame you for being intimidated by her. She’s a professional boxer.”

Gena: “She would really get carried away with it, though. Once, after we’d showered together, as I slipped into my panties, she confronted me - seemingly angry over something I said. It was all a big joke it turned out. But she had me backed up against the wall and stalked me like a lioness would stalk her prey.

“She pressed me into the corner... against the dressing room wall as we both stood in our panties, mine white and hers tan. I felt her muscular thighs flexing into mine as she got in my face with her fists clenched at her side. She was so strong and intimidating to me. We both knew she could do to me whatever she wanted. I was trembling and found myself apologizing to her if I had said anything wrong. As she continued to squeeze me into the dressing room corner, our breasts expanding into each others, she maneuvered me, with little effort, even tighter into the corner.

“I felt her big, steely, thigh muscles inside mine and imposing on my groin. I was trembling and pleaded, “Laila, you really wouldn’t hurt me.... would you?” But she just stared at me like she was staring down another fighter in the ring. I swear, Charlize, it was the first and only time in my life another woman literally had me wet my panties!”

Charlize breaks up laughing. “Poor Gena! But she was only joking?”

Gena: “Yes, of course she was. She burst out laughing; hugged me and apologized for scaring me. We joked about it, but after she left I had to shower and change all over again!”

Charlize again roars with laughter. “I can just picture you alone with Laila as you described it. I’m sure it was anything but funny at the time. But there are few women who wouldn’t have been scared, Gena. Thanks for sharing that. I must admit, you certainly have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Charlize’ Critique:

“When the interview ended, Gena and I had a couple more drinks before I walked her to the door where we embraced warmly and gave each other a kiss on the cheek before she departed. I was impressed with Gena’s victory over Alexandra - who I think is one tough, athletic woman in her own right. I just wonder if she’ll ever get the chance to fight Demi? Maybe I can be instrumental in setting it up, perhaps at the 'Put Up or Shut Up Club.' It certainly would be an interesting match. I found myself admiring Gena's honesty about her confrontation with Laila. I wonder how I would react if confronted that way by a professional fighter? More importantly, I wonder how I'd do against Gena? We’re both tall, athletic blonds who know how to fight. Wouldn’t mind inviting her over for a playful wrestling match some evening just to see what she’s got.”

Charlize flipped through her little red book of scheduled upcoming interviews. “Let’s see..there’s Jolie....CZ Jones....Alba... Garner... Biel.... hmmmmmm. What’s great about all this is I can play matchmaker; then when I interview someone who I believe isn’t telling me the whole truth…well, I don’t care who she is…I’m definitely not above challenging her lying ass myself!”