Dear Diary: Kate Winslet vs. Renee Zellweger by SP Eider

It was barely one day since the wrap of filming “Bridget Jones’s Diary” and Renee Zellweger was already back at the gym. For the past few months, Renee had been a somewhat unlikely looking movie star, having gained quite a few pounds to play the part of the single-and-looking Brit. For some time, Renee had actually looked as though she’d eaten more than a low-fat pea on diet-toast for dinner each night, unlike most of her Hollywood colleagues. Now, the blonde Texan was all too eager to return her body to the waifish, stick-like physique the popular (and indeed unpopular) press deemed to be ‘normal.’

She’d been on the exercise bike for nearly ten minutes, far from tired but long enough for a sheen of sweat to have formed on her bare arms and legs. Her only clothing was a thin, jet black leotard and pink headband that gave her the appearance of an escapee from the 1980’s. Only the minidisk player clipped to the bike handlebars gave her an essence of a 21st century girl as she swayed and hummed to whatever was pumping through her headphones.

Renee’s swaying and pedalling came to an abrupt stop when two hands grabbed her by her long blonde hair. Before the Texan had a chance to protest, she was roughly dragged from the cycle, her headphones snapping from her ears and the music she had been listening to replaced by the unfamiliar voice of an angry woman, speaking with gritted teeth in an undeniably British accent.

“Get over here you bitch!!”

“Get OFF,” screamed the blonde to her unseen attacker, clawing at the hands pulling her hair tightly and far from gently.

The attacker did not answer except to pull the struggling actress across the gymnasium to the ring normally used for boxing. Before Renee could protest her assailant dropped to one knee, pulling Renee’s head forward so fast she was flipped over onto her back; a mare well and truly snapped!

Free of the painful hair-hold at last, but suffering significantly from the impact of the fall on her back, Renee rolled onto her stomach and sat up on her knees, at last able to see her companion. Renee’s first vision was two blue boots, ankle high and tightly laced. As she scanned slowly upward, her eyes beheld two bare legs, smooth, athletic and with more flesh on either of them than the entire female cast of Ally McBeal combined.. The booted woman wore a tight white leotard on a ‘full’ frame. Although by no means fat, the woman had a figure to be proud of, one with curves of hip and, most importantly, of bosom. Her impressive body was highlighted by two red lines, one vertical, one horizontal, that intersected at the centre of her leotard just below her ample bust. The pattern was, in fact, a Cross of St George, the national flag of England and it’s wearer was Kate Winslet.

“So it isn’t enough,” snapped the clearly incensed Brit, “that you took a role of an English woman in an English film from an English book that should have been played by an English actress...” Kate shook her head, her long hair tumbling onto her shoulders, “But on TOP of that you’re in here acting as if you’re ashamed of looking like a REAL woman.... What IS your bloody problem???”

Renee could only stare incredulously, not knowing what to say or how to react to an apparently mad woman. In retrospect, that was fortunate because any reply she’d have offered would undoubtedly have been cut short by the boot to the jaw that Kate delivered shortly after asking what must have been a rhetorical question!

Renee fell back clutching her chin where Kate’s boot struck her. Looking up from the floor and glancing quickly around for help, the Texan was dismayed to see they were alone in the gym. Renee’s attention was returned to Kate when she suddenly felt two hands grip her hair and jerk her spitefully to her feet, face to face with the Titanic actress (in more ways than one!)

Releasing Renee’s hair, Kate held her by the shoulders as she quickly raised her knee, thundering it deep into Renee’s soft belly forcing the Texan to exhale a loud gasp of winded pain. Kate grinned and repeated the kneeing.


Renee’s remaining air was expelled as Kate’s knee pounded into her gut, soft and pampered by months of hedonistic living as she gained weight for the role of soft-living Bridget Jones. Kate finished her knee barrage with a third one, only lower this time so the hard knee cap connected with the most sensitive part of Renee’s pubic mound. Her success was immediately gratifying as she heard the howl of agony that Renee uttered unashamedly as the powerful blow struck paydirt.

Renee’s hands dropped to her battered crotch, her knees turning inward as she squeezed her thighs and bent forward whitefaced with pain and confusion as waves of agonizing pain coursing through her cushy body. Kate didn’t waste a second as she launched herself across the ring toward the far ropes.

For a second, Renee felt a wave of relief, assuming her attacker was beating a hasty exit. But she quickly realised her mistake when Kate bounced off the ropes and used the extra momentum to propel herself into the air, arm outstretched. Kate’s arm crashed into Renee’s breasts, lifting the actress off her feet and dropping her on her bum. Renee landed with considerably less control than Kate roll instantly back on her feet while Renee lay still gasping and aching as she struggled to breathe.

Kate looked down at her dazed opponent and shook her head sadly, but feeling little in the way of pity. Walking around to Renee’s feet, Kate collected the blonde’s legs, tucked her ankles under each armpit, and pulled up so Renee’s legs and hips were dragged upward until only her head and shoulders were flat on the mat staring up at Kate’s grinning mug.

“You saw Titanic, right?” asked Kate.

Renee muttered something, unsure whether answering at all would only lead to more pain.

“I loved the scene at the bow of the ship,” continued Kate, “You remember it, don’t you... when I was FLY-ING!!”

At the second syllable of ‘flying’ Kate threw her body backward, propelling Renee up and over her as she levered her legs. For a moment, the two women looked like a human see-saw until Kate released Renee’s ankles and she literally sailed across the ring. Renee hit the ropes, one at her throat, another biting into her already tender chest - then rebounding her back to the canvas on her back yet again.

Kate was on her at once, dropping to a knee beside the flattened actress and planting the other foot on the canvas above her head. Kate took Renee’s left arm in both hands and pulled it over the thigh of her kneeling leg as her other foot went to work with her heel pressed on Renee’s throat. Her cries of agony would have accompanied the arm-bar but they were only hoarse gasps for air as Kate’s pressure on her windpipe made screaming almost as impossible as breathing.

The pain in Renee’s arm was intense as her elbow was bent back mercilessly over the English Rose’s thigh. Renee planted her feet and raised her hips to ease the strain as her free hand frantically slapped the mat in a sign of submission. But Kate wasn’t in a mood for rules and was far from finished with her unwilling victim. In desperation, Renee threw her legs up and wrapped them around Kate’s head. Kate’s look of surprise quickly turned to an expression of discomfort when Renee locked her ankles and squeezed for all she was worth.

Kate quickly released her armbar to try and pry Renee’s increasingly powerful legs from her head, but she had little success. Free of the agonizing armbar at last, Renee shifted her weight and bought her legs (and with them Kate) down to the canvas where she was able to exert even more pressure on her headscissors. Kate’s face was getting red, trapped between the Texan’s calves. Now that she was in control, the blonde wanted to remain in control so, taking a handful of Kate’s dark blonde locks, Renee released the scissor just enough to pull Kate’s howling head higher up between her legs. When the back of Kate’s head touched her crotch, Renee released Kate’s hair and reapplied the scissors, this time with Kate firmly wedged between her womanly thighs.

With her ankles again firmly locked, Renee straightened her legs, pointing her toes and ensuring the leverage of the scissors was it’s most efficient and the pressure on Kate’s head was immense. An onlooker would have found it difficult to establish whether the grimace on Kate’s face was due to the pain she was experiencing or simply because her face was being contorted by the ever narrowing gap between Renee’s thighs.

Kate could see nothing of Renee’s body except her lower legs and her feet stretched out ahead of her like an oppressive alley, the walls of which were slowly closing in on her. Cursing herself for letting the American to gain the upper hand, and desperately clinging to consciousness as the pressure on her head squeezed constantly, Kate managed to twist her head a few inches to the left. Not enough to slip free of the hold, but at least her face was now pressed on the inside of Renee’s soft, pale thigh.

With few other options available, she bit down hard on Renee’s inner thigh. The effect was instantaneous! Renee screamed and her legs snapped open as she pulled them away from Kate’s teeth as rapidly as she could. One leg now bore the distinct impression of a circle formed by two rows of near-perfect teeth. Renee couldn’t believe Kate had done that to her - as though everything leading up to that point had been perfectly acceptable!

The two women rose to their feet, now both as eager as the other to win. Unfortunately for Renee, though somewhat poetically, her fighting skill couldn’t measure up to her will to win. She charged Kate, seemingly hoping the English girl would simply wait and absorb whatever attack Renee launched. Once more, sadly for Renee, poetry again played a part in the outcome as Kate didn’t wait for her. With Renee barely a metre away, Kate unleashed a quick and brutal front kick that landed with her foot sinking deep into the onrushing Yank’s belly as Renee’s body folded over it.


Renee wrapped her hands across her winded stomach as she stood stock still struggling to breathe, stooped forward, her flushed face peering down at the mat between her feet. Seizing opportunity with both hands, not to mention legs, Kate swung her leg over Renee’s head, facing her back and clamped the wheezing Texan in a textbook standing headscissors. Crossing her ankles, Kate posed not unlike a ballet dancer, albeit a ballet dancer with a groaning red face between her thick thighs!

The groans grew progressively louder as Kate increased her advantage with a series of elbow strikes to Renee’s exposed back. Then Kate reached her arms around Renee’s body under her armpits and pulled upward, wrenching the trapped Texan’s arms painfully back in a sort of reverse full nelson.

Bent double, with her head being slowly crushed and her arms in danger of being pulled from the sockets, Renee began to buck and writhe frenetically as she gasped for air and her legs trembled. The two holds she was simultaneously trapped in allowed little movement without causing still more discomfort but she could at least sway left and right. Kate’s locked ankles meant her centre of gravity wasn’t secure with her feet close together. Renee felt if she gathered some momentum, she could probably unbalance Kate and escape when they both toppled over on the mat.

As Renee continued to struggle, Kate realized what she was try and struggled to prevent it. She released her scissors, spreading her feet wider to stand more securely while maintaining the inverted nelson on the blonde. With the pressure off her head, Renee was able to think a little more clearly, although the pain in her arms was still a big distraction. Kate continued to alternate long, drawn out pulls on both arms with short, sharp, jerks that wrung yelps of agony from Renee each time she did it. There was however, a small pause between the tortures when Kate would lean forward ever so slightly before each biting wrench threatened to twist Renee’s arms a full 360 degrees.

Renee could only scream in agony as Kate pulled back further than she had so far on her captive’s arms, so much so that she went up on tip-toe to ease the unbearable torture. Renee feared the next time Kate wouldn’t relent at all and settle for nothing less than giving her two broken arms. Each passing second was an eternity to the contorted blonde, her pain so unbearable she felt ready to pass out. At last, Kate relented but not by much and Renee knew it would not be for long. But it proved to be just long enough!

The already stooped over Renee ducked her head even lower, only a few inches below Kate’s crotch, then slammed her head up with as much force as she could. The back of her skull thudded into Kate’s pussy with a soft but satisfying thud to an immediate wail of suffering from Kate, whose grip on Renee’s arms was lost in the rush to assuage the suffering in her throbbing sex.

Renee quickly pulled her head from Kate’s clutches but didn’t back far away from the injured Brit. She knew she had the advantage and wasn’t going to lose it. Drawing back her fist, Renee unleashed an awesome right hook to the jaw of her rival that connected hard enough to swivel Kate’s head almost off her shoulders. She went sprawling across the ring into the ropes as Renee rubbed her knuckles, unaware how much hitting someone hurt the person doing the punching. Deciding to at softer, but still significant parts of Kate’s anatomy, Renee moved in and fired punch after punch to Kate’s belly.

Still stunned by the blow to her jaw and with her back to the ropes, Kate was unable to offer much in the way of defense and Renee’s fists sank in hard and deep. Kate grunted as Renee pounded her gut over and over and over until she slumped forward onto Renee’s body, attempting to hug her to stop her offensive.

Unluckily for Kate, the success of a clinch in a boxing match is, in most part, because the opponent can’t raise a knee sharply between the opponent’s legs. In a catfight, Renee had no such restriction. Kate yelped as her pussy got pounded for a second time, Renee’s knee crunching into her slit hard enough it almost lifted her feet off the canvas. Kate collapsed on her knees, her hands once again nursing her tenderized groin - at least until the sole of Renee’s bare foot slammed into her face, knocking her over onto her back and leaving the English rose flattened and moaning in pain.

Stepping over her downed adversary, Renee dropped to her knees straddling Kate’s magnificent chest, letting her full weight rest on Kate. The large butt that had been an important part of “Bridget Jones’s Diary” squashed Kate Winslet’s almost perfect bosom beneath it!

“Now,” said Renee, adopting the same flawless English accent she had used in her role as Bridget, “it appears not only am I a better Englishwoman than you,” she paused to smile innocently down at her almost-defeated opponent, “but I’m also a better fighter.” She gripped Kate’s chin in her hand, forcing her to look directly into her face as she added with cruel delight,. “And it looks as if I’ve kicked your arse . . . or, as we say in Texas, I whupped yor ass!” said the Texan, slipping back into her sweet southern drawl.

Renee was overjoyed, and began to bounce up and down Kate’s ample boobs, causing her to emit weak oooooff’s each time she landed. Renee raised her arms over her head in triumph - and immediately wished she hadn’t! The battlin’ Brit was down but far from out! As soon as Renee’s arms reached skyward, Kate swung her own legs upward and hooked her heels under Renee’s armpits. When Kate brought her legs down, they pulled Renee down too . . .fast! Renee barely had time to register what was happening as her view changed from the face of her supposedly beaten assailant to one of the gym ceiling. The clarity of her vision was additionally hindered by a sudden, brutal impact of the back of her head on the canvas, leaving the proud blonde dazed and bewildered.

Having no such limitation, Kate leaped to her feet ready to finish what she’d started. To the surprise of the prostrate Renee, Kate pulled the straps of her George Cross leotard down over her shoulders and pulled the garment down around her waist exposing her glorious chest in all it’s magnificence! But the British actress didn’t stop there....she continued pulling her leotard down revealing a neat, trim, pussy then stepped out of her costume and discarding it. Wearing in only her boots, Kate proudly posed, displaying her gorgeous body previously seen only in Titanic (plus ‘Holy Smoke’, ‘Hideous Kinky’, ‘Iris’ and probably a couple of her other movies.)

Miss Pussy in Boots dragged Renee to her feet and dragged the blowsy blonde into a standing breastsmother-bearhug, wrapping her arms around Renee’s head and forcing Renee’s face into her chest. Renee barely was able to draw a breath before her face was enveloped by Kate’s stupendous tits. Kate’s chest - so recently the recipient of Renee’s abuse - was now exacting it’s revenge; the fleshy pink orbs smothering the Renee’s features as she struggled weakly in Kate’s tight grip.

Mmfmmmm mmffmm mmff,” mumbled Renee, her ears the only part of her head visible (and growing increasingly red).

“Your English accent seems to have slipped a bit dearie,” mocked Kate as she tightened her grip, savouring the warmth of Renee’s breath on her breasts as she raised her knee abruptly up between Renee’s legs. “I owed you that, bitch,” she spat, as Renee’s howl of pain was muffled by the large, sumptuous breast that oozed into her open mouth.

Releasing her bearhug, Kate stepped back from Renee who almost toppled over, barely remaining upright. The red-faced blonde sucked in deep breaths as her hands dropped to, and started massaging, her throbbing crotch. The defenceless beauty recovered enough to look up and - for a brief second - Renee thought it was over. Kate had vanished, nowhere to be seen!

Her deep breaths of much needed air became a huge sigh of relief, as she realised she was alone at last. Then, without warning, two arms snaked around her waist from behind and squeezed. Renee gasped as her lungs were again emptied of air.

She heard a voice whisper in her ear, “I’m not finished with you quite yet, dahling.”

Renee groaned as Kate heaved her up off the canvas and held her suspended in mid-air for a few seconds, then dropped to one knee and slammed her reluctant passenger’s pussy down onto her extended knee. Renee screamed in sheer agony, her body spasming as though from an electrical shock. Kate straightened her arms and casually tossed the moaning blonde to the canvas, where she curled into a ball, sobbing gently.

“Hurts doesn’t it?” hissed Kate. “I know. My pussy’s still a bit sore from what you did earlier. In fact....” She stepped over the conquered Texan, kicking her over onto her back with her boots, “....I think you should kiss it to make it feel better.”

Renee looked up in dread as Kate dropped to her knees, straddling the blonde’s chest; their positions completely the reverse of only a few moments before. Edging forward, Kate smiled down at Renee as the blonde struggled desperately to escape the inevitable.

“Keep struggling my dear,” said Kate smiled sweetly. “It’ll make this that much sweeter.. well, for me!”

She moved the last few inches forward and with a grunt, planted her moist pussy over Renee’s mouth, dampening the Texan’s lips even as she muffled her cries for mercy - in more ways than one.

Taking Renee’s hair in her hands, Kate pulled the blonde’s face deep into her thick pubic thatch and began the American’s humiliation - slowly and oh-so deliberately! Kate rubbed her pussy across Renee’s sobbing features gently and carefully, allowing her own excitement to build slowly just as Renee’s humiliation grew with each passing second. Kate’s breath begin to grow more rapid, her awesome chest rising and falling with each deep inhalation. Gradually, Kate’s movements became more compelling, more urgent, indeed, more demanding! She forced Renee’s face deep into her pussy, grinding hard on the Texan’s nose. The movement of her hips quickly changing from a soft rotation to a considerably more eager thrusting motion that kept pace with her quiet, heavy panting that was now a combination of groans of pleasure and grunts of utter domination as she completely controlled her humbled opponent.

Conversely, Renee could barely breathe at all with her nose and mouth both swallowed by Kate’s wet pussy. Such was her lack of air that Renee could feel unconsciousness begin to overtake her and she eagerly embraced it; welcomed it even! Anything to put an end to her abject shame.

But Kate wasn’t feeling at all charitable. Keeping her opponent awake not only prolonged her fun, but increased her arousal. As Renee’s struggles abated, Kate demanded tongue from her victim and to give Renee added incentive, she reached back with one hand and grabbed Renee’s sore pussy, giving it a cruel, spiteful squeeze. Renee’s scream of anguish not only rattled Kate’s hard clit, but brought an end to her resistance. Soon, the tearful blonde was thrusting and wiggling her pink Texas tongue deep into Kate’s sopping sex-hole.

The combination of her victim’s tongue and nose forced wherever she pleased was too much for Kate. In minutes, her entire body shuddered in utter ecstasy and she doused Renee with the price of her final and absolute subjugation, leaving her hair wet and matted and her face sticky. Kate sat for a long while on Renee’s face before she finally stood up.

Looking down at the sobbing and broken girl, Kate smiled. “Well, I bet that’s given you something interesting to write in your diary tonight, Bridge!”

Leaving Renee with a goodbye stomp on her battered pussy, Kate left the ring to the pleasing sounds of Renee’s sobbing. As she walked slowly away from the ring, Kate looked back and smiled, thinking to herself that this was in many ways far more rewarding than playing some silly role in a film. On the other hand, she recalled reading in the papers that a movie company looking for someone to play a female Texas Ranger in a new film in the states.

“I wonder if I could get the accent down,” Kate thought as she dressed. “Not THAT would be ironic!”