December 1999

CATHERINE ZETA JONES VS CHRISTINA APPLEGATE

Catherine Zeta Jones (54%) butchers Christina Applegate (46%) In our main event of celebrity pro wrestling, this is the anticipated battle for the title of "War Queen" which Catherine will be defending against Christina. Christina enters the ring in a red satin jacket with the logo of her show "Jesse" in white letters on the back. Jumping over the top rope her straight blonde hair bounces with the movement and the audience gets a good look at her long toned legs as her muscles absorb the impact when her red boots land on the mat. She limbers up and relaxes in the corner as Catherine makes her way to the ring. Celtic music plays as the Welsh actress appearing in a long black robe with cowl pulled back enough to reveal a tiara over her long black curly locks. She jumps onto the ring apron and slides through the ropes. Catherine removes her robe to reveal an exotic costume of black gossamer with her breasts and pubic area barely covered with black vinyl. On top of this is a series of thin black leather and satin straps, one covering her breasts, the other forming a g-string and the rest connecting the two the length of her torso. She also has a championship belt for her "War Queen” title of black leather with gold and silver engraving. Her usual black boots complete the ensemble which gets a positive reaction from the audience including Christina whose eyes are wide open and mouth dropped at the sight. Chris removes her jacket to reveal her familiar costume of a blue one piece and red boots with a hint of white sock and white laces. A conservative look for such a ravishing beauty. She seems a bit embarrassed since Cat usually appeared in a conservative black outfit in her previous fights with Salma Hayek and Heather Graham.

As Cat hands over her tiara and robe and the ref presents the belt in view of Chris and the audience, Chris's attention returns to the imminent fight instead of the brief fashion show. Chris is already pissed coming into this fight with her show "Jesse" currently on hiatus, but now at ease with her own costume selection and concentrating only on the fight she realized she did want that belt and tiara as much as Cat wanted to keep it. Their eyes fixed on each other told that story as they were introduced and Cat moved toward center ring only to be met by Chris who grabbed her hair above the forehead. Cat did the same and the two stood eye to eye.

The ref separated the two making them return to their corners for the few seconds till the bell rang. They bounded to the center, circling then locking up. They struggled in a stalemate for well over a minute. Chris went for an uppercut that fell short of Cat's throat. Cat lunged back and kicked her in the knee. Chris went for a dropkick and Cat scrambled to her feet only to be hiptossed. She grabbed Chris in a headscissor, Chris kicks out and the two wrestle on the ground in classic fashion, grappling, hugging each other. Frustrated by the even fight so far they get back to their feet and launched into a battle of fists and feet.

The tenor of the fight had changed from clean grappling to all out brawling which was what "War Queen" was all about and which only proved why these two with their fighting talents were perfect for the title of "War Queen" and the audience approved vociferously. Fists and boots hit their marks but were also blocked expertly. Both often checked themselves for blood as bruises and welts began to appear and finally Chris had a small trickle of blood appearing in the corner of her mouth and Cat had some flowing from her nose after her head snapped back from a quick left jab from Chris. Both were hurting and the tide of the fight changed as they separated going for whips into the ropes ducking each other but both eventually on the receiving end of a forearm or boot, going down to the mat. Simple moves like a side headlock did as much damage as the flurry of fists did as it gave them a chance for a breather and to go for dirtier tactics like eye gouges, chokes and just grinding their opponents heads till they were dizzy. Cat and Chris stayed at close quarters much of the fight either exchanging blows or grappling trying to best the other in scissors.

As the fight went on for fifteen then twenty minutes with neither getting a clear cut advantage a break came when Cat flung Chris into the corner hard. Chris trying to brace herself went over the turnbuckle landing face first on the corner post and the bolt used to tighten the ropes. Cat climbed the ropes to throw her off and that's when everyone saw the deep cut on Chris's forehead as blood copiously flowed down her face soon making a crimson mask. Cat on the top rope lifted her in a seated position and fell back with Chris landing hard on her back. Cat leapt off landing on Chris's cut square with her boots. She stomped Chris's head wound. Yanking off one of the leather straps she bound it around her knuckles and pounded the wound opening it further. She threw Chris into the corner and pummeled her there mercilessly, bloodlust seeming to rejuvenate her. Chris threw a fist up her crotch, doubling over Cat. Cat kneed her in the face and again climbed the ropes as Chris was flat on her back. She leaped off again but this time Chris met her with her knees extended and Cat's ribs landing against them. She writhed in pain next to Chris who still was lying on the mat trying to get up.

Exhaustion and blood loss was beginning to take its toll. The wound was great and blood percolated from it with every rapid beat of her heart. Cat grabbed her blood soaked hair and lifted her only to be winded again as Chris with fight still left in her threw another crotch shot. Cat tried to whip her to the ropes but could only manage to wrestle her to the ropes especially with Chris grabbing and holding onto a couple of Cat's costume straps. Cat then managed to free herself enough to toss her through the ropes. Cat followed her out as Chris stumbled onto the lap of an admiring male fan and his female companion who was mildly repulsed by the blood but excitedly took the opportunity to grope Chris as he tried to help her up grabbing her around the breasts as the female caressed her legs which lay on her lap. Both were extremely aroused and excited at the luck of her landing there. Chris didn't seem to mind as her attention was more on Cat than lascivious fans. Actually she seemed to enjoy the attention.

Chris kicked at Cat who tried to grab her head intending to throw her into the ringpost. Chris pushed another fan out of his chair and before Cat could defend herself was struck by the metal folding chair not once but three times till a flow of crimson started to go down her forehead. Her wound was not near the extent of Chris's though it still was serious especially after Chris rammed it into the metal ringpost. Cat tried to escape but Chris held onto her suit by the straps and yanked off another leather one wrapping it around her knuckle and pummeled Cat in the gut and her head wound. She then grabbed her suit and tossed her back to the ring and followed her.

Both women exhausted and injured were fighting by instinct. A few fists were thrown causing sweat and blood to spray with each blow but for the most part they were too tired to throw fists and held each other in headlocks and bearhugs. They bodyslammed each other. It was after a bodyslam followed by an atomic drop to Cat's knee that Cat had Chris down and rabbit punched her. She grabbed her in an armbar and tried to force a submission but Chris still had enough fight to reverse it only to have Cat reverse it again. She twisted till she forced Chris to somersault over to escape the excruciating pain. This time Cat prevented Chris from reversing when she held her arm between her legs and sat on her shoulder as Chris knelt behind her. Cat was getting a breather and played to the crowd biting Chris's fingers. Yelling to the crowd, "Do you want me to break her arm?"

They responded "YES!" Cat bounced on the extended arm with Chris crying out in pain and desperately trying to escape but too weakened to do so. Cat kept it up but Chris paid her back by turning her head and lifting her suit at the leg opening and sinking her teeth deep into her buttock and leg, leaving a blood stain on Cat's creamy skin. Cat screamed in pain and jumping to escape the bite she buckled at the knees as she still held a firm grip on Chris's arm. A pop was heard and Chris screamed and then let out a muffled cry as Cat let her go and Chris rolled to her back holding her now obviously broken left forearm. Cat seemed as surprised as anyone and thinking the better of stomping Chris or doing any further moves she backed off as Chris pleaded with her submitting the fight. The ref signaled the bell after she heard Chris submit and Cat regaining her composure and in typical "War Queen" showmanship placed her foot on Chris's head as she gave a victory pose. She left the ring given a towel to hold against her wound as Chris was also helped out. Later it was conjectured but never confirmed that Cat had purposely broken her arm to keep Christina from a rematch she had been tentatively promised. Catherine maintained that it was an accident and she was sorry it went that far. Never the less sooner or later Christina will meet Catherine again somewhere and revenge will be on her mind but till then Cat still remains an imposing figure viciously guarding her "War Queen" title.

Catherine lounges after another title defense

Christina nearly is crippled by the Dark Queen

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TO CATHERINE ZETA JONES