CARMEN ELECTRA VS JENNIFER LOPEZ

VS

It started as a good idea. Having the fight take place in Miami would guanrantee a frenzied, energy-feeding crowd. There were a large number of Miami's citizens whose nerves have been rubbed raw by recent current events, and promoters thought the sight of beautiful Jennifer Lopez tearing another beautiful woman apart limb by limb would give these proud passionate people something to believe in again. In weeks leading up to the fight, local newscasts were filled with footage of Jennifer working out in various gyms around Little Havana, surrounded by adoration and respect, cutting impromptu promos between sets. Ms. Lopez was sincerely proud to be fighting for these people. She vowed to not take Carmen Electra lightly, and would stretch her and beat her until the crowd got more than their money's worth.

The fight had received a lot of national and even international attention by the evening before the fight, when the euphoria was over. Ms. Carmen Elektra's live press conference before her departure at LAX aired on not only the local affiliates in Miami, but in most of the larger markets in the nation. The comments made by Ms. Elektra need not be repeated here - it will suffice to say that they involve what she believed it meant to be the "Latina Supreme" champion. Many stations cut the feed as her remarks became increasingly tasteless and offensive. The citizens of greater Miami were witness to the entire, insulting tirade. They were even cursed with the sight of the members of Elektra's entourage, many of whom obviously thought her little speech was funny or "cute."

Just a few hours later Jennifer's ring introduction was all but drowned out by the crowd. They welcome her with thunderous applause, throw kisses, some of the lucky ticketholders with floor seats throw roses as she makes her way down the aisle, others up in the stands sing songs to their heroine. Jennifer is clad in a very simple grey flannel tank top and briefs, along with her shoes and kneepads. Her hair still glistens shower fresh. Clearly moved by the response, she takes to the ring and blows a kiss out to the crowd, the roar of adulation now nearly deafening. The lights go out as Jennifer strides back to her corner. A loud BOOM!! - a column of fire in the corner opposite Jennifer - The ring lights go on and Carmen Elektra is in the ring! Wearing an exquisitely cut black bikini with gold trim, she approaches the center of the ring with an exaggerated sway in her hips, raises her wrists above her head - yells "solid gold, baby! Solid gold!!" - And spits at Jennifer! The bell rings!!

The women quickly circle for a very intense three seconds, each waiting for the other to make the first attack. Carmen feints toward the head - Jennifer anticipates a hair-pulling session - but Carmen ducks low! A single-leg pick-up puts Jennifer down on her back. Carmen steps between Jennifer's legs and stomps the lower midsection while Jennifer kicks and bucks trying to escape. Carmen grabs the other ankle - folds Ms. Lopez's legs over her head! Laying on top of Jennifer, she grinds her knee into Jennifer's crotch while stretching and spreading her legs back! The ref down to count Jennifer! Jennifer lets out a yelp as Carmen hops to her feet and steps back. Jennifer - her face a fiery red - tries to scramble to her feet but Carmen shoves her down by her tits! Jennifer looks up from her prone position on the mat to the sight of Carmen's version of "The Grind."

Jennifer noticed the shaking in her hands and knew she had to keep a cool head. The referee in her face asking for a submission didn't help, though. Neither did Carmen, who was telling her to get her ass up off the mat. Jennifer was to one knee when Carmen moves in…

Jennifer throws her arms behind Carmen's knee and stands - now it's Carmen who's laid flat! Jennifer steps over the groin and throws herself to the mat, snapping back Carmen's leg! Carmen to the ropes - but Jennifer is there when she makes it to her feet! Jennifer with a deep arm-drag whips Carmen through the air to send her crashing to the mat! Carmen bounces to her feet - and another deep arm-drag throws her through the air again! Carmen landed on her tailbone that time. She's holding her ass as she climbs to her feet again. She takes a knee to the gut! Jennifer rubs her tits in Carmen's face!! The crowd is wild!!

Jennifer now does the grind in front of Carmen! Carmen lunges - gets taken over in a monkey flip! Carmen gets the wind knocked out of her. Jennifer has to help her up by tugging forcefully on the hair. Another series of arm-drags sends Carmen crashing to her side, her back, her rear, even once straight down on her face and tits. It was after that one that Jennifer executed a pretty fair fisherman's suplex, not quite like Curt Hennig but very impressive nonetheless, that looked like the end for Carmen. Jennifer rolls over her for a lateral press, but a sensuous bridge frees Carmen before the three-count. Jennifer snags Carmen's top and tears it off her opponent - Carmen too weak to fight back - and Jennifer spits into the small black garment and rubs it in Carmen's face! Jennifer hops off of her and now is insisting the referee ask Carmen to submit. The referee is trying to take the bikini top out of Jennifer's hands but she is not letting go. He doesn't see someone come to ringside and hand Carmen a roll of quarters!

Finally the ref is able to persuade Jennifer to give up the bikini top. She turns to snatch Carmen by the hair again - she doesn't see what Carmen's got in her hand! Carmen swings a fist that connects with Jennifer's upper jaw! Currency flies everywhere!! Jennifer is flat on her back and not moving! Carmen lays down on top of Jennifer in a sloppy version of her tit-smother finisher. The ref motioning for security to ringside - he lays the three-count down on Jennifer!!! Security rushes to the ring and ushers out Carmen and the referee! The throng in an uproar - angry, stunned disbelief tempered only by their concern for Ms. Lopez, who still hasn't come around.


Carmen is on a roll... At least a roll of quarters!

Jennifer will be on the prowl again!
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TO JENNIFER LOPEZ


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