ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3
BEYONCE VS KERI HILSON
Where does this story really begin? 2008 till 2010ish maybe. At that time, after years of writing hits for the likes of Britney Spears, Ciara, Mary J Blige, and The Pussycat Dolls, Keri got her chance with her first solo album, In A Perfect World and was killing the game in 2008 to 2009. She was topping the charts, and collaborating on songs with R Kelly, Chris Brown, Nas, Lil Wayne, and Kanye West. Her second album dropped in 2010 and she had the whole world was doing the Pretty Girl Rock. Then all of a sudden nothing. Her career fell off the face of the earth, mysteriously like with a Thanos Infinity War, snap of the fingers. Everything crumbled into nonexistence. Why?
There were a couple of remixes along the way. First there was the Usher remix to his hit, Love In This Club. Keri was in the original song's video, and was slated to sing on the remix. Usher decided to give that part to Beyonce instead. She sang Keri's verse and got publishing credit for writing it, although Keri insists she wrote that part. That significantly added to a growing beef between Beyonce with her husband Jay-Z and Keri along with her superstar producer, Timbaland. Then the second remix, for Keri's Turnin Me On had a diss verse of two unnamed female singers. The public suspected they were Beyonce and Ciara. That is when Beyonce's fans, The Bee Hive, along with Ciara's fans, turned against Keri. Then she disappeared. Rumor has it that Jay-Z and Beyonce had her black balled from the industry, and no one would work with her out of fear of alienating the reigning king and queen of pop music, Jay-Z and Beyonce.
This is the story at least. We do know that Keri denies being black balled, but does a lot of public apologizing and explaining to Beyonce, Jay-Z and Ciara for the fans misunderstanding about beef between them. Timbaland and Keri put out a song together with verses apologizing to Beyonce and Jay-Z. Since then Keri decided to move away from music for some time that turned into several year. But she decided to come back a couple of years ago. She announced a third album to be released and a TV show, but nothing has happened yet. She has constantly been very active on Twitter and Snapchat. Keri frequently makes headlines for controversial comments.
Stone Rage always liked her kooky ass, despite her sometimes asinine comments, so she keeps a contract in the league. She tried to join old acquaintance, Britney Spears' Femme Fatal team, but Nicki Minaj was chosen over Keri. She did keep a close relationship with Britney. She was a backup singer, touring with Britney back in the day. Britney's group added another member, Nelly Furtado, another musical disciple of producer Timbaland. Put all these facts together from these past years and it brings Keri Hilson to approach and have a conversation with Shakira all this time later. What began as a casual conversation with Shakira, ended with Keri saying that there is something important that they need to talk about in private.
When they met in private, after exchanging pleasantries, Keri says, "I know your secret." Of course Shakira returned with a puzzled expression. "I know that Nelly Furtado is in Britney's group just to spy on them. If you want to keep your secret, I want a favor."
Shakira stood froze figuring her response. At first she wondered how she knew, but remembered that Timbaland was instrumental in both of their careers, and figured there was the leak. "I'm listening." Shakira answered.
"Word on the street is that you can beat Beyonce's ass. I mean not just beat her ass but fuck her up really bad. You helped Rihanna and Britney in their matches against her." Keri continues.
"Beyonce is a monster in the ring, and can destroy about anyone. But, she is predictable. If you get her off balance and come with an unorthodox attack, she can be defeated." Shakira confesses.
"Whatever, I don't care about the particulars, I want you to beat her up for me. I mean I want her carried out on a stretcher for black balling me from the industry. Then I will keep your secret safe." Keri bargains. "Give her a shot at your Songbird title. She will take the bait. Then beat the shit out of her. Make the bitch beg, and tell her why she's getting destroyed. Then tell her to never fuck with me again." Keri finishes with conviction.
"Ay caramba" Shakira mutters. "Beyonce and I are still friends. I can just talk to her. She's a reasonable woman."
"I've already talked to her." Keri interrupts. "I've supposedly been reinstated from her blackball years ago. This is about payback. Just tell her, that you are my friend, and you're taking up for me then destroy her ass. Make her tremble at the thought of standing in the way of my career, or anyone else for as long as she lives." Keri explains. Shakira still does not look convinced. "Refuse and I'll call Britney right now. You will not only lose her as a friend, but gain her as an enemy. She will open full scale war on you and your crew. Britney, Brandy and Melissa will not stop till they beat you and Nelly down for this. Do we have a deal?"
"This is bad." Shakira says as she contemplates her next move. She has an excellent business relationship with Jay-Z and Beyonce. She would be foolish to mess that up. However, there is a lot of physical pain involved in crossing Britney. Knowing Beyonce like she does, Beyonce would advise her to take the deal. Beyonce would want a title shot no matter the reasons. The woman is totally driven by success, and does not accept failure as an option. Shakira decides it's best to pay the blackmail, and deal with the repercussions from Beyonce and Jay-Z later. One impossible task at a time, so to speak. "Okay I'll do it." Shakira mildly answers.
NOTE: At this point in the storyline these events happened in-between the first part of this story and continuing forward
Shakira vs Jennifer Aniston Vs Paris Hilton w/Jada Pinkett Smith STONE RAGE NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH!
In the present, several months afterward, the historic Beyonce vs Shakira II match is scheduled and just days away on the ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3 card. This event is a celebrity cruise, catfight and concert all in one. During a 7 day cruise, over 4 cruise ships, they port for a concert and catfight match at a tropical island stadium. There are 4 stops with a concert and catfight that night at each location. Beyonce and Shakira are scheduled for the last night. Keri Hilson will perform at the second night's concert events.
For weeks in advance of the cruise Beyonce starts hearing rumors and talk about her old beef with Keri Hilson. She is surprised and curious at why that talk is being rehashed now. The rumor mill also says that Shakira is going to make her pay for black balling Keri. Beyonce is like 'what the fuck' she thought all of this was over years ago. Beyonce did not want any of this old garbage to interfere with her winning a championship belt. So she invites Keri to meet and work out with her on the cruise, while she continues training for her big match.
Keri knows that she cannot refuse an audience with Queen Bey. Keri arrives to the gym where Beyonce had started working out long before Keri arrived. Beyonce and Keri lift weights and have girl talk. Next they they get on the exercise bikes and continue to talk. During that time, Beyonce confesses, "It was Jay that had you black balled from certain people in the industry, not me. I admit I did nothing to stop him so I'm somewhat the blame too. We were being young, stupid and petty. I hope you can forgive us."
Keri accepts Beyonce's apology with a smile, although she has no inclination to call off her plans with Shakira. Keri will have her revenge and Beyonce must pay.
Later Beyonce gets in a wrestling ring, then asks. "Do you want to get in and do a little sparring with me? Come on, it'll do us some good. We'll get in the ring and kick the shit out of each other, then leave as friends. I really want to put that bad chapter between you and me behind us." Beyonce encourages.
Something in Keri's brain said no, don't do it, but the temptation to slap the living shit out of Beyonce's face was too great. Just one good clean bitch slap would be worth a million dollars to Keri. "Okay, okay I'll do it. You will take it easy on me?" Keri asks.
"A little bit, but not too easy." Beyonce answers with a laugh. Keri climbs in the ring with Beyonce.
Beyonce gets in a wrestling stance. Keri suddenly says, "Wait! Before we start there is one thing that I've got to do." Beyonce relaxes and comes out of her stance as Keri walks toward her. Keri comes right in front of Beyonce. Out of the corner Beyonce sees Keri's hand raising but everything is happening so fast that she could not react. Beyonce's eyes get big as Keri's hand comes swinging at her face. Then SLAP!!! Keri gives Beyonce the biggest bitch smack possible. Beyonce reels several dizzy steps backwards holding the side of her face. Beyonce has no taste in her mouth. Keri has slapped it all out. Keri wears a huge smile "Wow I've been waiting 10 years to do that!"
It takes Beyonce a little time to return to her senses. Beyonce regroups and looks back up at Keri. "Good"
Beyonce answers. "I'm glad you got that out of your system.Ē she responds with the grace of a queen. "Now can we begin?" Beyonce coolly asks.
The two step lively towards each other and lock up in a collar and elbow. Beyonce is thick and strong, making her hard to move. Keri utilizes a height advantage to stand her ground. After an abnormally long stand still a rush of emotions of anguish festering for 10 year awakens. With a burst of strength, Keri marches Beyonce backwards and pushes her in the corner. Keri breaks the lock up and immediately fires a combination of fists to Beyonce's tits, using her poking nipples as bullís-eyes. Beyonce tries to defend but the fists keep coming to her ribs, belly and especially breasts.
Taking two big handfuls of Beyonce's honey colored hair Keri plunges Beyonce's face into her bosom, trying to smother Beyonce. Keri grinds her tits in Beyonce's face and smacks Beyonce's hands and arms away every time she tries to push her way out. "Yeah, take this shit bitch!" Keri growls. She is now thankful that she got into the ring today. Beyonce is experiencing humbleness and embarrassment. This is the best feeling that Keri has felt in years.
Beyonce finally fights her face out of Keri's cleavage. But Keri flashes her knee up into Beyonce's belly, dropping Beyonce to her knees. Keri handles Beyonce forcing her throat across the middle ropes. Keri presses down with all her weight to choke her rival. Keri reaches under Beyonce to grab, claw and rake her nails across Beyonce's tits while she keeps pushing her head down to choke Beyonce on the ring rope. Beyonce's gags and moans are the sweetest sounds that Keri has heard in a long time. Keri lets go of Beyonce's hair and Beyonce drops to the mat. Beyonce tries to crawl and get a little distance. Keri feels an awesome rush seeing mighty Beyonce crawling on the mat. Keri kicks Beyonce as hard as she could to her body, making Beyonce flip over onto her back. Keri stomps down on Beyonce's stomach as she lies belly up. Again and again Keri stomps on Beyonce's tummy. Then she jealously punts Beyonce's titties. Keri loves hearing Beyonce whelp each time she does it and watches her breast shake and quiver. Beyonce was right. This is totally therapeutic for Keri.
Keri drops to the mat then pulls Beyonce in between her shapely legs and applies a body scissors on Beyonce. Keri has her legs high on Beyonce's body crushing her tits with her thighs. "What is it with you and my tits bitch? Aren't you happy with your own?" Beyonce asks then reaches out and grabs one of Keri's firm breasts. Beyonce claws and twist the ripe Georgia peach as hard as she could. Keri squeals and lets go of her body scissor. Both women break apart and scramble to their feet and squares off again.
Keri's confidence is running at an all time high. They go to lock up again, but Beyonce's hand goes low and grabs Keri between the legs with a pussy claw. "See I can play dirty too." Beyonce says with a smile. Beyonce's strong manly hand clutching her pussy almost paralyzes Keri. Her body freezes and shuts down for a moment. Once Keri commands her body to act, she starts chopping Beyonce's shoulder right where the collar bone and arm meet. Beyonce yells "Oww!" each time. Then Beyonce's other hand reaches up and clutches one of Keri's boobs. Keri shouts and freezes again.
Beyonce marches Keri backwards with her two erotic death grips. Keri is pushed and trapped in the corner. Keri tries to escape the pain. She climbs up on the bottom turnbuckle. Then Keri steps higher to the middle one. Next Keri leaps off of the second turnbuckle and drives her elbow into Beyonce's shoulder. Beyonce shouts sharply and grabs her shoulder, releasing Keri and backing away.
Beyonce backs away while trying to shake the numbness out of her shoulder. Keri waits a few seconds for the strength to return to her legs. Once she feels it return, Keri darts out of the corner towards Beyonce. BAM! Keri runs right into a Beyonce super kick that drops Keri in her tracks. Keri lies on her back looking up at the lights. For a second she thought she was in next week. Then she heard Beyonce's voice and remembered where she was. "See this is a much better way to settle things between us than a talk and an apology." Beyonce confesses, as she shakes her arm and shoulder again.
"My apology was genuine though." Beyonce says as she reaches down and peels Keri off the canvas. "I never thought a few bad comments would have had such a devastating effect on your career." Beyonce pulls Keri up off the mat then scoops her up for a body slam. "If I knew that, I would have never done it." Beyonce finishes then tosses Keri as far as she could for a body slam.
Keri sits stunned and amazed that Beyonce was strong enough to throw her 4 feet away. Standing 5'9", Keri is not a petite woman. Keri's back is in distress from the trip with the sudden stop. Beyonce walks over and hauls Keri back to her feet. As quickly as Beyonce put a severe hurting on her, Keri now fears her opponent. She knows that she is in above her head. Out of desperation, Keri rakes Beyonce's eyes as soon as she is up. Keri grabs Beyonce's arm and gives it a twist before dropping to a seated position on the mat, yanking Beyonce's arm down with her. Beyonce suffers a yo yo effect. Beyonce grabs her arm with a scream. "Damnit bitch! Will you lay off my shoulder?" Beyonce wails.
"No bitch! You wanted to spar!" Keri sharply retorts. Keri reaches for Beyonce's arm, but Beyonce jerks away and retaliates with a punch from her other fist. Beyonce follows with a second then a third that have Keri dazed and tottering. Next Beyonce's big hand clutches Keri around the throat. Beyonce picks Keri up by her throat and slams her to the mat with a choke slam. Keri landed like a big lump of clay. She lies there knowing that she is definitely in the ring with a superior warrior. But Keri does not give up. She knows that many superior warriors are beaten and humbled on a regular bases.
"Get up Keri!" Beyonce shouts. "I know you want to kick my ass. I could tell from the moment that you walked in here. So let's get it over with. I'm tired of hearing your name." Keri slowly sits up and has been thinking about standing for some time. Beyonce was not having that though. She reaches down and hauls Keri back up again. As she is being pulled to her feet, Keri slips her arm between Beyonce's legs and gives her crotch a classic low blow shot. Beyonce barks and let's Keri go to clutch her pussy.
"Yeah I wanted to kick your ass" Keri says as she fires another shot dead center in Beyonce's tit. "Can you blame me?" Keri finishes as she knocks Beyonce's tits around with a flurry of punches. Keri knows that she has got to keep this fight dirty. She cannot win a clean fight.
"Not Really Keri, but that was 10 years ago. Right now you've got my pussy hurting over some bullshit from over 10 years ago! I am going to hold that against you!" Beyonce finishes and charges at Keri. She does a full 360 degree turn and nails Keri in the nose with a back elbow. Keri goes down. Beyonce shakes her arm for a moment like it hurt. Keri scrambles back to her feet and Beyonce is charging at her again. Beyonce raises her foot and kicks Keri square in the chest, sending her sharply back down to the mat. Beyonce quickly reaches down and seizes the front of Keri's sports bra and snatches her right back up. Beyonce hooks Keri up and lifts her off her feet and upside down exactly like for a suflex. Instead of falling backwards Beyonce more tosses Keri forward allowing her to plummet flat on her face for a gut buster that only strong bitches can perform.
"See I was trying to be nice and apologize to make peace with you." Beyonce preaches. "But the truth is that you black balled yourself as much as Jay and I did. You kept running your big mouth! Then you whined about what Jay, me and Ciara did to you for years so much that nobody wanted to be associated with you. Then you kept saying all this controversial shit! Nobody knew where your head was at or where you're coming from." Keri laid face down holding her gut. Her body was feeling pain as well as her feelings. "I don't think you wanted to do music for a while." Beyonce says as she hauls Keri back to her feet. "The music industry is hard! Its hard making 3 hit albums in a row. I know it is an incredible amount of pressure." Once standing Beyonce jerks Keri toward her by one arm and then sends her for a loop with a short armed clothesline.
Never one to not give the last word in a conversation, Keri wants to argue some points back. However Beyonce is seriously kicking every inch of her ass right now. Keri just lies on her back breathing hard like a race horse. Her whole body tingles with pain. She feels like she's been tossed around like a rag doll. Beyonce's bodyguard could not help but notice how sexy Keri looked laying there splayed out and breathing hard. She certainly gave him a hard on.
"Miss Keri Baabbbyy!" Beyonce sings using Keri's catch phrase from her hits. "Sometime love knocks you down..." Keri fights through the pain to get back up hearing Beyonce sing her Grammy nominated song and knowing the next line says that you get back up. Slowly Keri gets to her feet. "I'm not dissing you girl. In fact I respect you as a real woman. I just want to put things behind us. We don't have to be friends, just be cool with each other. Can we let bygones be bygones?"
Keri staggers toward Beyonce non-aggressively. "Yeah... we can", Keri breathlessly says. Beyonce thinks hopefully they are going to hug things out. Both open their arms thinking it is over. However when Keri walks up to Beyonce, she drops to one knee then quickly swings her arm up between Beyonce's legs for another low blow. Beyonce is taken off guard. She screams, grabs her pussy again and falls to the mat drawn up in a ball. "Yeah bitch. We can be cool going forward, but right now we're still fighting, and I still want to beat your ass." Keri reaches out and wraps both hands around Beyonce's neck to choke her.
At this point Beyonce is way stronger than Keri. She grabs Keri's wrists and starts to pull them from around her neck. Seeing her original plan is not going to work, Keri falls forward and drops her 32C breasts on Beyonce's face. She tries smothering Beyonce again with them. That had a little success for a little while until Beyonce bit Keri's tit making Keri jump off of Beyonce's face.
Both women hustle to their feet. Keri was disappointed that Beyonce reached hers first. Beyonce appeared to still have more pep than Keri has left. Beyonce acted first. She clasps both hands together for her weapon and swung them like a club, hitting Keri in her chest. The slender beauty told her body to move, but it just could not at this point. Keri lets out a big "Ungh!" as the smack of flesh on flesh sounds out. Keri is knocked flat on her back for what feels like is the umpteenth time in this fight.
"Why can't you just say we're cool and hug this thing out? I really don't want to finish you, but you're leaving me no choice!" Beyonce pleads. "You're making me feel bad for what I'm about to do to you." Even as Beyonce was talking, she was already ripping her breathless and near helpless opponent off the mat for more destruction.
Beyonce lifts Keri up for a body slam. But then she presses the larger woman over her head. Keri mutters "Oh shit!" realizing the height that she is about to be slammed from. Beyonce heaves the slender Georgia girl to the canvas. Keri lands with a big boom and a loud shout. She lies withering in pain on the mat. Keri is in disbelief that Beyonce had the incredible strength to press her like that, and she cannot fathom the power in that body slam. Keri is hurt and has had enough of fighting at this point.
Beyonce looks down knowing Keri is near the end. She reaches down for her sports bra again and snatches Keri back to her feet by the garment. This time is almost comes off Keri's body, but is comes just short of showing any censored body parts. Beyonce's bodyguards were very disappointed. "Come on Keri. We're going to hug this out one way or another." Beyonce says and pulls Keri close and wraps her arms around Keri's mid-section for a face to face bear hug. Seeing what is happening, Keri wraps her arms around Beyonce and squeezes too.
Beyonce and Keri look into each otherís eyes with mutual respect for each other. Beyonce is everything that she is billed to be and is crushing everything out of Keri. Meanwhile Keri is living up to her billing too, by holding on, and doing her best as a mere mortal trying to compete with a goddess. Keri Hilson is simply no Beyonce. Deep down both women knew this from the start. After several painstaking, breathless minutes for Keri and Beyonce suffering minor discomfort, Beyonce releases Keri and she falls to her knees in front of the queen. Keri breaths heavily but is still not willing to admit defeat. This is something that Beyonce can respect.
"Time to finish this girl." Beyonce says as she places Keri's head between Beyonce's big, divine chocolate thighs. Keri moans knowing she is about to experience Beyonce's finishing move, a power bomb called, the Beyonce Bomb. According to legend it is the most devastating move in the league, along with Halle Berry's HBKO cutter. Keri fears, like Beyonce this whole day is going to live up or surpass the legend. Beyonce grabs Keri's waist and picks Keri up and spins her around then slams Keri down on her back for the Beyonce Bomb. This is no ordinary Beyonce Bomb, the queen strains her muscles to get every single microbe of power in her command to prove a point to Miss Keri Baby. Beyonce slams Keri down as hard as she could. There is a resounding thunderous boom. Another sound follows almost immediately. "AHHHHH! MY SHOULDER!!!" It is Beyonce's voice as she drops to her knees grabbing her arm and shoulder. Keri is totally silent. She was knocked unconscious on impact. The Beyonce Bomb surpassed Keri's wildest dreams.
After several quiet moments of the bodyguards looking at Beyonce, then looking at each other and not knowing what to do, the queen speaks. "MY shoulder, I hurt my shoulder." Beyonce says. "Get her out of here." Beyonce says to her bodyguards while nodding her head toward Keri's lifeless body. "Do it discreetly and safely. Get her to her room or somewhere that she will be okay. Then get to the ship's doctor ASAP. I think I fucked up my shoulder."
Beyonce's bodyguards hurry to their tasks. In a flash they are in the ring gingerly and carefully picking Keri's sexy ass up to carry her out of the ring and then out of the gymnasium. Meanwhile Beyonce just as gingerly walks out of the ring to take a seat and put an ice bag on her shoulder. She knows that she has a title match against Shakira just days away. Beyonce shakes her head.
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO KERI HILSON
TO <ThE RoCk tHe BoAt CrUiSe! 3