Backlash! Super Sub
VS
Beyonce vs Shannen Doherty
NOTE - This story immediately follows Backlash: Just Business
Imagine the scene, four of the world's most beautiful and glamorous women, laughing, drinking and joking like college sorority girls. They are at a hidden bar where the rich and famous can go free of photographers, reporters and prying eyes. The group collectively call themselves the Fab Four: Pam Anderson, Jennifer Lopez, Tia Carrere and Beyonce Knowles.

What!?!!? Beyonce Knowles and not Halle Berry you ask? Oh yeah, that's right, you just joined us, and that was after the meeting. Well, you need to go back an hour and a half to the meeting in Stone Rage's office.

Tia, Pam and Jennifer were all there. Halle was on the monitor screen being video conferenced in, while in Europe promoting her new movie, Things We Lost in the Fire. The ladies were chatting, laughing and planning about numerous things. "I can't believe I'm finally pregnant!" Halle proudly exclaims. "I've been thinking about you guys since I'm going to be out on maternity leave. Then it will take me months to get back into super sultry fighting shape even after I have the baby. With all that's going on, you can't afford to be short handed. You're going to need someone to fill my spot in the group."

"Hold on!" Pam interrupts, "I won't let you quit the group."

"No blondie, lets not get crazy. I'm talking about a substitute, a temporary replacement while I'm out." Halle definitively replies. "I'm not going anywhere.

Pam answers with a typical dumb blonde, "Oh".

"I know I should have talked to you guys first, but I took the liberty of choosing somebody who I think would be perfect for us, but the final decision is up to you of course."

Stone Rage opens the office door and Beyone Knowles walks in. The ebony queen saunters into the room, with a nervous, yet angelic smile. Very sweetly and politely she says, "Hi" with a wave.

Tia smiles at Beyonce thinking, "She's young, strong, tough and sexy as hell, a perfect ass kicking machine.... she's perfect! ABA watch out!"

Pam smiles as well thinking, "Wow she's gorgeous!" Pam's smile widens. "She's at the top of her career. She's a top chart time singer, a box office smash actress and #1 on AskMen.com's hottest women list, and a superstar boyfriend too.... She's the perfect business decision. Paparazzi will be following us everywhere. If I knew she was joining the Fab Four, I wouldn't have had to marry what's his facey for publicity!"

Jennifer wears a polite smile. "Oh shit Dr Jeckle and Miss Hyde." Jennifer thinks. "Oh well I guess its better to have her on our side than against us. I know her... Pepsi commercial, fashion shows, parties and that bootylicious match... Oh I know her. She's the sweetest angel you ever want to meet, then she flips a switch and POOF!! she turns into such a hateful demon that you just want to cut her head off." Jennifer reflects. "She calls her demon alter ego Sasha. She's made enemies so many people in the industry. Letoya Luckett and LaTavia Roberson from the original Destiny Child, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson. I guess we can work with her until Halle comes back."

Yada, yada, yada.... Now we can Fast Forward back to the present. After Stone Rage's suggestion, Jennifer, Tia and Pam decide to get acquainted with their new family member over drinks. As their drinks flow, the volume of their laughter and jokes increase, and their sisterly bond begins to grow.

"Oh shit" Jennifer quietly exclaims and shields her face with her hand while looking away. Eyes turn to the door to look for the reason why Jennifer is conspicuously, nonconspicuous. Shannen Doherty walks in with an unidentified man on her arm.

"What?" Beyonce asks confused, "What's going on?"

"Maybe she won't start something today with all of us around." Pam says.

"The bitch is crazy" Jennifer answers. "She did too much drugs and shit trying to hang out with Tara Reid and Paris Hilton and that crew back in the day. It fried her brain, she's an obsessed lunatic. The thing is I didn't do anything to her. She attacked me out of nowhere. I just defended myself. All of this because she is too immature to accept responsibility for her own failure."

"What?" a bewildered Beyonce asks again. "Who are you talking about?"

"Its Shannen Doherty." Tia explains. "Ever since Jen beat her ass in a Vegas strip club to rescue Tyra Banks, she's been stalking Jen and trying to fight. She blames Jen for not getting into the ABA. If you ask me, she fits right in with those stupid losers."

"Its not that I'm afraid of her." Jennifer explains, "I can beat her easily. Its that she's always on my ass, trying to fight, creepy."

"Don't worry Jen, I got this." Beyonce says with a wink. Beyonce stands and sees her all of her newfound family all about to open their mouth in protest. "No, I want to do this. I feel like I owe it to you guys to show you can depend on me to watch your back, especially you Jen. I really owe you an apology after going crazy Sasha mode on you in that Bootylicous match a while back. I really wanted to win that match and prove myself as a champion. When I'm focused like that, I tend to crush and step on anybody in my way, friend, or foe. I really shouldn't have done the things I did to you in that match, and felt bad about it after I left Sasha mode. Sasha is what my family calls my alter ego when I'm performing. She can be a total bitch."

"Demon from Hell is more like what I was thinking." Jennifer interrupts with memories of that match.

"Anyway lets just call this a make up gift, and a Thank You gift for the kindness you've just shown me, and allowing me to substitute for Halle."

Sure enough Shannen spies Jennifer and makes a beeline to the table. She is intercepted several yards away by Beyonce. The angelic Beyonce has gone away, and an attitude ridden, lip smacking, get ya told bitch, Beyonce fondly refers to as Sasha stands in her stead. Beyonce steps to Shannen and stands almost chest-to-chest with her hands on her hips. Smacking her lips with the expertise of a hood rat she asks, "May I help you?"

"Outta my way" Shannen roughly replies. "This is between me and Buffalo Butt over there."

"If you're talking about my girl Jennifer, then it does involve me." Beyonce shoots back. "In fact you're going to have to go through me to get to J.Lo, and we both know you can't do that."

"What?" asks Shannen somewhat confused by this challenge. "Does Hungry, Hungry Hippo Ass need somebody to fight her battles for her?" She shouts, making sure its loud enough for Jennifer to hear.

"No but now that I'm in the Fab Four" Beyonce says very proudly, "I'm handling some of the light work, like you light weight."

Obviously pissed by the lightweight reference, Shannen comes back with, "If I'm sucha lightweight then how come Pam is marring my old garbage?"

With no answer for Shannen's barb, Beyonce says, "Look this is your last chance. Don't make a bigger fool of yourself than you already are. Jennifer has already beaten your ass, and Pam's taken your old man. So leave before I take what little respect you've got."

"No, what's going to be funny is after I knock you out", Shannen starts with a sinister smile. "And dump your big fat ass on that table right in front of your friends like the sack of shit you are. Then I'll see the look of Pam and Jennifer pissing in their panties, knowing they are next. That's going to be fuckin' hilarious."

Shannen had no real idea of what is really going on, or why Beyonce is there. But through all the verbal joisting, she clearly heard Beyonce proclaim being a part of the Fab Four now. She realizes what ever is going on, this is another big opportunity to impress the ABA. If Beyonce is truly in the Fab Four, and she can whip her ass, that will surely be enough to make the ABA reconsider her for membership.

Trying to make good on her threat Shannen launches a punch to Beyonce's chin. To her surprise, Beyonce blocks the punch and retaliates with a fist driving deep into Shannen's gut. Shannen grunts and bends over. Beyonce clasps both hands behind Shannen's head to hold her head in place, and drives several knees into the actress' stomach and chest. Finally Beyonce scoops Shannen up in her arms and body slams her to the floor.

Shannen is shaken, but still rises back to her feet. Unfortunately she finds Beyonce is waiting for her and plows her down with a running clothesline. Shannen is knocked off her feet and finds herself flat on her back with her head spinning, but again gingerly rises to her feet. Beyonce comes again, cutting Shannen down with another running clothesline. Shannen feels like a blade of grass being chopped down by a lawn mower. The brunette is again knocked vertical in mid air, before landing on the back of her head.

Shannen has proverbial birdies fluttering around her head as she sits up. She is dazed, but bravely trying to find away to win this battle. Again she finds that Beyonce is still there waiting and pulls Shannen up by two handfuls of raven hair. Beyonce scoops her victim up into body slam position again. She takes a few quick steps to gain momentum then launches herself. Beyonce leaps into the air with Shannen's body helplessly leading the way. Beyonce drives Shannen into the ground with a power slam. The impact not only knocks her addle, but drives all the air out of Shannen's body. The defiant actress curls into fetal position once Beyonce climbs off of her.

"Wheh!" Jennifer says in amazement "I guess Shannen shouldn't have tried to slug it out with Bey. I mean Bey's got her by about four inches."

"Yeah, and quite a few more pounds too." Pam adds.

"I know, and a whole lot more muscles" Tia adds to the commentary. "Did you see Shannen's skinny little legs go flying?"

"Yeah, I know" Pam answers with a little chuckle "Beyonce is like a mini Batista. Those high impact moves took Shannen out in no time flat."

"Hey, good idea!" Jennifer exclaims "BEY! BEY! How about a Batista Bomb?" Jennifer shouts while giving the hand motions of an imaginary Power Bomb.

Beyonce looks over and receives the request. She nods her head and winks at Jennifer in acknowledgement. The Black Superwoman bends over and pulls Shannen's unresisting body into place. Beyonce places Shannen's head between her thick, dreamy, luscious chocolate milk colored thighs. Then Beyonce gets a good grip around Shannens waist. Finally with a scream of exertion and aggression, Black Superwoman lifts her victim in the air, turning her topsy turby and slamming Shannen with herself to the ground with a sit out power bomb. Beyonce sits on the floor with Shannen's limp body between her legs as the room is seemingly still shaking from the impact.

After allowing the dramatic moment to pass, Beyonce stands over her beaten opponent. She coolly uses her hand to brush back her hair. All the while Tia, Jennifer and Pam are banging on the table, jubilantly shouting BEYONCE BOMB! BEYONCE BOMB! BEYONCE BOMB!

"Come on girl" Beyonce says. "You've got some apologizing to do." Beyonce grabs Shannen by the hair, shirt basically anything she can get a good grip on to drag her groggy, dazed, yet beautiful prey over to the table where the rest of the Fab Four are sitting. Shannen is aware enough to know what is happening, but too shaken to do anything about it. Besides she is not stupid enough to put up some feeble resistance and risk receiving another Beyonce Bomb.

After dragging her pretty little rag doll to the table, Beyonce announces, "You need to apologize to my girl Jennifer. Why don't you kiss her feet to show how sorry you are." Jennifer instantly pulls her chair away from the table and quickly kicks off her shoe off. Beyonce wrenches Shannen's arm behind her in a hammer lock, and with that arm, along with a handful of hair to guide Shannen's face against Jennifer's foot like she is kissing it. "Come on... kiss it, suck it" Beyonce sings as Jennifer plunges her toes inside and stirs them around in the humiliated woman's mouth.

Shannen wanted so very much to chomp down on Jennifer's toes and bite them off, but she knew that would prove extremely unwise given the vulnerable position she is in. Moments later, Beyonce pulls Shannen away from Jennifer and guides her to Pam's feet. Pam's feet receive similar treatment as Jennifer's until Beyonce sings, "Come onnn.... give us a little tongue." Beyonce twists Shannen's arm until Shannen's tongue comes out and makes contact with the soles of Pam's feet. Of course Tia Carrere is there with her trust cell phone camera to record video and snap shots of this historic event of Shannen servicing Pam and Jennifer's feet.

Once done, Beyonce carelessly tosses Shannen a side. Shannen's unidentified male friend quickly rushes to her rescue. He helps his vanquished warrior to her feet and leads her out of the bar.

Meanwhile, Beyonce never turns to see what happens to Shannen. Instead she turns to her new teammates. "I love you girl, that was awesome." Pam says as she greets her with a hug.

"That was great" Tia tells her. "Of course you know you've made an enemy out of Shannen. Her crazy ass will be after you now."

"Yeah I know" Beyonce nonchalantly answers. "Tell her to get in line. LeToya Luckett, Latavia Robertson, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson, she's just one more to that list.

"Welcome to the Fab Four, You're perfect" Jennifer announces. Tia and Pam join the Puerto Rican superstar in a hug to share her sentiments.

BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO Backlash!
TO BEYONCE KNOWLES
TO SHANNEN DOHERTY



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