THE ROAD TO
XTASTY VS MINKA
"What we are proposing is a brand new match, called an Unconditional Surrender Match." Cameron Diaz eloquently explains. "This match is designed to settle the Uncivil War that we have issued against the Fab Four and the ABA. It is a no holds barred match between four of us and four members of either the ABA or Fab Four. Either group is fine for us, we don't care which one we face. The loser of the match must contractually agree to sanctions put on them by the winning team." Cameron continues, making a typical business proposition in a business like manner. "These sanctions are limitless, but in the interest of fairness, can be approved by Stone Rage or this booking committee prior to the match."
Cameron stands in front of a standard meeting room, explaining her proposal to the booking committee. Several Resistance members accompany her as they make this important proposal, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jennifer Aniston, Nikki Cox, Jeri Ryan, Spontaneus Xtasty and Kelly Hu. Meanwhile the booking cmmittee, Raquel Welch, Loni Anderson, Lynda Carter and Pam Grier listen attentively and review the printed proposal with projections for the match.
"So tell me." Cameron concludes, "What better way to end the RAGE! Pay Per View than with this ground breaking and all important match? The Resistance have proven our worth. We've sent the ABA and the Fab Four from the arena, bandaged, beaten and in the back of ambulances. Now our feud can properly end at the main event of the grandest stage of all time, RAGE!"
There is a moment of silence in the room, before Loni breaks the quiet. "That was an impressive presentation, very well done."
"But it will never happen." Pam coldly says as she rips the proposal in half and looks away.
Cameron and the rest of the Resistance's mouths fell open at the quick dismissal of what they thought was a great proposal. "What! Are you kidding me?" Cameron exclaims, stumbling over her words being both confused and flabbergasted. "Are you serious? This is a great match! It's the perfect match! There's no way you can turn this down!"
"I'm sorry Cameron, I'm going to have to agree with Pam." Raquel adds shaking her head.
"Why not?" an angry Jeri Ryan demands as she rises to her feet. "This match will threaten the very existence of the Fab Four or the ABA. Fans will flock to see this fight! It'll be huge!"
"I can't argue with you there." Lynda answers, "But the fans will flock to see the ABA and the Fab Four, not you."
"That's the point." Loni chimes in. "The ABA and the Fab Four are the two biggest attractions in the league. It would be bad business for us to book a match that could threaten our biggest attractions."
"That's the point of this group!" Kelly Hu argues. "It's time for new attractions. We will be those stars! We've proven ourselves in the ring. We can beat either the ABA or the Fab Four. We deserve to be the main eventers."
"This is a waste of time." Pam mutters. "Look I'm going to be blunt with you. This misguided Uncivil War for recognition is a waste of time. The bottom line is, no matter what you do in the ring, you can't put asses in seats like the ABA or the Fab Four. People pay to see you fight them, people don't pay to see you fight. Jennifer Aniston's movie title sums it up perfectly, they're just not that into you. Your war isn't with the ABA or the Fab Four. It should be with us, to prove that you can do the same numbers that they can, because so far you can't."
"You're insane!" Xtasty argues. "You're sitting in the room with the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Jada Pinkett Smith and Cameron Diaz. They are some of the biggest stars in Hollywood!"
"True they are some of the biggest stars, but not some of the biggest attractions", Lynda rebuttals. "There is a difference. Have you noticed that they are always teamed with another superstar in their movies? They are always co-starring with Jim Carey, Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, or even Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson. Check the DVD covers for their movies. They're never on the cover alone. There is always a co-star to help sell the movie. Now in contrast, take Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Demi Moore or Jennifer Lopez for example. Their names and faces alone are all that's needed to sell the movie. There was no one on the cover of Gothika, Catwoman, or Frankie and Alice but Halle Berry. Jennifer Lopez alone is on the poster for Maid in Manhattan and Enough. Even in her romantic comedies, Jennifer is presented more prominently than her co-star. It's the same with Demi Moore in GI Jane or Strip Tease." Lynda concludes, "I'm sorry ladies, but none of you are at that level. Until you get there, we will not allow you to threaten our superstars like the Fab Four or the ABA."
The booking committee could feel the harsh feelings, frustration and tension growing across the table. The mild mannered Jennifer Aniston was turning red, and about to explode. First, obviously Lynda's comments referenced many of her romantic comedy films. Second, they referenced Jennifer's arch enemy, husband stealing, Angelina Jolie, of being on a higher level than her. Jennifer smacks her lips and huffs, "Great, Iíve been in acting for all my life, both of my parents were actors, and now I'm getting career advice from a lounge singer that fell into the role of a lifetime. Sheesh your series only lasted three years, Friends lasted for ten years."
"But she pulled it off." Pam interjects, taking up for her friend. "In three seasons she's become an icon. You couldn't do it in ten years. Even though you've got the body and the goods, you still couldn't do it. That's what we're talking about. If you had the role, we'd have to change the name to the Adventures of Wonder Wimp. Demi Moore could have damned sure pulled it off. Even Pam Anderson in a brunette wig would have pulled it off..... Angelina Jolie would have been remarkable." Pam finished taking a well placed dig at Jennifer. "I'm sorry, you girls just don't have it."
Everyone could tell that Jennifer was angered and hurt by Pam's comments, but the perennial good girl did not know how to respond. However the muscle, the bully, the one they refer to as the Avenger, Spontaneous Xtasty is present today.
"This is ridiculous!" Xtasty blurts out and rising to her feet. "We have Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz and Jada Pinkett sitting here. I'm willing to bet that they have more movie tickets than all four of you old bitties have combined, even with your thousand year head start." Xtasty challenges. "The bottom line is they are protecting their friends, the Fab Four and the ABA. We don't to take this from these four asses. Only one of you have proven that she had 'it', and she's selling wigs and sunglasses to pay her bills. Next, we have two one hit wonders from tv shows in the 70's. Both shows combined did not stay on as long as Friends. Lastly, a B-movie queen, who's career, and I use that word loosely, was resurrected by a bunch of young rappers that used to jack off to her movies when they were eleven!" all of the Resistance ladies were giggling and smiling, and thanking the day they got Xtasty in the group. She had the nerve to say what all of them were thinking. Besides since her fame and income comes from the adult entertainment industry, she does not have as much to lose by spouting off.
"If you don't give us this match, we'll keep beating the shit out of your precious star attractions like we have for the past year. Let's see their 'star power' when they are on their knees, begging for mercy." Xtasty continues. "What do you think Pam? Would you still have 'it' with someone's foot broke off in your ass?"
Completely undaunted, Pam coolly answers, "I don't know. I probably will still have 'it'." Then she adds with a sly smile, "I never expected to have enough 'it' when I was over fifty to have a handsome young superstar like Will Smith begging to sleep with me either." Pam finishes laughing with her colleagues on the committee breaking into snickers too.
"Oh Hell No! You didn't fucking go there!" the other loose cannon in the Resistance, Jada Pinkett Smith fires off. "How dare you bring up my husband's name you fucking hoe!"
"Relax Jada. We had a one night stand when I was a guest star on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air back before you were married." Pam explains.
"Don't tell me what to do you stupid skank!" Jada roars back. After taking a deep breath, and calming down a bit. Jada says, "The only thing you've said all day that I've agreed with is that our real war is against you, instead of the ABA or Fab Four. How about this? Jennifer Aniston and I challenge you, Lynda and Pam to an unconditional surrender match. If you win, we'll surrender. We'll agree to whatever sanctions you have, even disbanding." Jada pauses. "But when we win, you abide by our conditions and stipulations."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Raquel argues. "Pam and Lynda are retired. They are way past the age to compete."
"So are Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, but that doesn't stop them." Jeri quips. "But they are true legends. It sounds like Pam and Lynda are just scared. Let's face it, they don't still have 'it'"
"Nobodyís scared of a wimp and a midget." Lynda answers. Lynda shoots Pam a sly look, seeing if she was up for the challenge. Pam's cold confident glare back, gave her the answer. Finally with thoughts of recapturing past glory Lynda says, "We accept your challenge."
The Resistance girls congratulate and smile each other, now being part of the main event at RAGE! As they are leaving, Loni says, "Oh yeah I forgot one thing." All the Resistance girls turn and look at Loni. "Tell that loud mouthed stripper that was flapping her gums way too much, Xtasty that she has a match in two weeks."
"WHAT!?!" Xtasty exclaims. She looks at Loni harshly.
"You'll be facing Minka on the new TV show Stone Rage CATFIGHTS! Good luck, we'll be watching very closely." Loni ends with a wink.
Spontaneous knew that she was put into this match as punishment for her bluntness and disrespect of the collected legends, but relished the position. First, she gets a high profile match on national cable tv, and the accompanying pay check. Second, despite Minka's reputation, Xtasty thought that she could whip Minka. Xtasty was also eager to get her hands on another member of the ABA. She suffered an embarrassing defeat at the ABA's enforcer, Lisa Lipps hands months earlier.
Xtasty wore a smug smile as she stood in her corner waiting for the bell to start the match. Loni Anderson crawls into the ring to serve as the ring announcer for the bout.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Loni bellows out over the house microphone "First hailing originally from Seoul Korea, now living in Las Vegas, Nevada.... representing the ABA's Lui-Tang Clan.... Mighty Minka!!!" Loni allows Minka to acknowledge the crowd. They give Minka a mixed reaction of cheers and jeers.
"Her opponent, Hailing from Philadelphia, PA... She is known as the Resistance's Avenger.... Spontanteous Xtasty!!!!! The fan's respond to Xtasty's name. She is much more animated once her name is called, and riled up the audience.
Loni pauses suspiciously for a moment, then raises the microphone back to her lips. "And.... the special guest referee for this match.... The Enforcer of the ABA.... Lisa Lippsssssssss!!!
The lean muscular brunette marches to the ring wearing a mean scowl. Xtasty's smile disappears and her face turns hard. She realizes that she has been duped. She has been set up. The booking committee has put her in a match with her arch rivals Minka as her foe and Lisa Lipps as the referee. Both are members of the ABA, and sworn to kick her ass. She knew that the booking committee wanted to teach her a lesson for mouthing off at them, but never suspected something as unfair and spiteful as this. "You want war? Then it's time for war!" Loni says, looking directly at Xtasty, before exiting the ring.
Spontaneous Xtasty is determined to be nobody's victim. As Lisa starts crawling into the ring, Xtasty races at her. Xtasty kicks Lisa in the head while she is in-between the ropes. Lisa tumbles through the ropes, and falls into the ring seeing stars.
Xtasty was just reacting to the situation, she really did not have a plan. All she knew was that she had to take Lisa out fast. Xtasty stomps and kicks Lisa as hard as she could. Xtasty wanted to take Lisa before dealing with Minka, but to her surprise, Minka did no rush to Lisa's aid. Minka remains in her corner with her arms folded across her massive chest, just watching.
Lisa struggles up to her knees, while under Xtasty's barrage of kicks. She makes it to her knees but receives a relentless flurry of Xtasty's fists exploding on her chin. Lisa is rocked. She leans back against the ropes, allowing Xtasty to tee off on her with fast, zooming fists across her face. Xtasty hauls Lisa to her feet then hurls into the nearest corner.
Xtasty lounges in and drives her knee into Lisa's gut, knocking the breath out of her. As soon as Lisa exhales, Xtasty wraps both hands around Lisa's throat, not allowing her to refill her lungs. Lisa starts clawing at Xtasty's eyes and pushing her head back, hoping to alleviate Xtasty's leverage, and hopefully find a way to escape or at least grab a gulp of air.
Xtasty's blitzkrieg is successful and effective. Because Lisa had already exhaled most of the oxygen from her lungs, it takes little time for the choke hold to subdue her. Lisa slowly starts sinking to the mat. After twenty seconds, Lisa sinks to one knee. Xtasty takes one hand from around Lisa's throat and blasts the stripper across the jaws with rock hard fists. It hastens Lisa's decent into darkness. Lisa's eyes are rolling and unfocused. Lisa's arms were clutching Xtasty's wrist, trying to remove the choking hands from around her throat, but now the fall heavily to her sides. With Lisa dangling in her clutch, with her mouth wide open, and her tongue hanging out, Xtasty take her free hand and starts untying the knot behind Lisa's neck of the Enforcer's black and white stripped bikini top.
Xtasy releases Lisa, allowing her to slump to the canvas. Xtasty adds more nasty stomps on the downed referee. "You're not refereeing shit tonight bitch!" Xtasty spits as she reaches down and snatches off the dangling black and white stripped bikini top and tosses it out of the ring. Next Xtasty stars kicking Lisa until she falls out of the ring, to the arena floor.
Xtasty is smiling proudly as she turns around to start the match. When she turns, all Xtasty sees is Minka's foot flashing up and kicking her in the face. Xtasty's head snaps back, her legs turn to goo and she crumples to the mat with large stars circulating around her head. "Stoopid beetch!" Minka starts in her heavy Korean accent. "I'm going to keek your ass! Then after I'm done, Lisa is going to keek your ass for what you did to her."
Minka reaches down into the sea of curly hair on Xtasty's head and jerks the dazed beauty up to her knees. Minka fires a couple of knees to her opponent's face to keep her head spinning. Next Minka turns Xtasty's heads as hard as she could to the right, like she is winding a clock. Minka laughs evilly. "To bad there isn't a referee to save you from me." she finishes with a cackle.
Minka reaches down and pushes aside the squirming vixen's flimsy bikini top while looming behind the seated gang bang queen. Minka claws and scratches Xtasty's oversized breast. Xtasty struggles a bit, but the pain helps bring her back to her senses. Minka is leaning forward, allowing Xtasty to reach up and back and get a few fingers into the Korean warrior's eyes. Minka lets go of Xtasty and backs away.
Xtasty rises to her feet, pleased with herself at having stopped Minka's momentum. Xtasty approaches Minka who is a few feet away, grunting and wiping her eyes with her hands and arms. Xtasty barely sees, Minka's right foot flash up and kick her in the face. As soon as the right foot returns to the canvas, Minka's left flashes up and blasts Xtasty in the face. Next Minka executes a spinning kick that turns Xtasty's head around on her shoulders like a merry go round. Finally Xtasty crumbles to the mat like a building being imploded.
Minka grabs Xtasty's ankles and lifts and separates her opponent's legs. Minka puts her foot down on Xtasty's pussy and grinds her heel in her cunt. Still out of it, Xtasty only reacts with a long moan and slight squirming. Next Xtasty drops her victim's legs and hauls Xtasty up to her knees. Minka forces Xtasty's head between her legs and clasps her thighs shut, locking Xtasty in a standing leg scissors. Minka releases another sadistic laugh reaches under Xtasty and grabs a hold of her monster hooters again. Minka stars scratching and clawing Xtasty's perfect wonders.
Even in her foggy condition, Xtasty realizes how much trouble she is in. First, she never suspected the double cross from the bookings committee, by adding Lisa Lipps as the referee. Second, she totally under estimated Minka as a competitor. The Korean is far more formidable than she gave her credit. Third, Xtasty's worst nightmare begins as Lisa re-emerges from the arena floor and slides into the ring.
Lisa rises with a murderous look on her face, and slowly marches toward Minka and Xtasty. The gang bang queen is trapped on her hands and knees with her head trapped between Minka's thighs. Lisa comes up from behind and sends a deliberate, well aimed kick into Xtasty's pussy. Xtasty howls, but can't go anywhere with her head in Minka's vice lock. Lisa walks to Xtasty's side, and kicks her hard in the side, "Ring the damned bell!" Lisa shouts to officially start the match. Lisa walks to the opposite side of Xtasty and gives her another hard kick. "Start the match!" Lisa repeats.
"Start the match?" Xtasty asks herself in her mind, "I'm practacally finished." Minka's kicks have knocked her senseless. The tittie torture has made her breasts sore, and makes it uncomfortable to even take breaths. The leg scissors has hampered her breathing, sapping a lot on her energy.
Lisa patiently watches Xtasty suffer in the standing leg scissors. After almost a minute, Lisa bellows, "Break the hold Minka, break the hold!" Minka releases and looks confused at Lisa for calling for the break of a legal hold. "Our fans don't want to see wear down holds. They want to see you crush this bitch! They want high impact, and excruciatingly painful moves like this!" Lisa says as she hair hauls the breathless Avenger to her feet. Lisa locks Xtasty in a full nelson hold, trapping her arms above her head. Lisa puts one foot in front of Xtasty's tripping her, then falling forward and driving Xtasty's face into the mat. With her arms trapped in the full nelson, Xtasty had no way to break her fall in any fashion. Many call the move a full nelson face buster, or WWE champion, The Miz's finisher, the Skull Crushing Finale.
"Oh, I see" Minka answers with a mischievous smile. The Korean hauls her limp foe up to her knees, and forces her head between her thighs again. Next Minka hoists Xtasy upside down, and suspends her there for a moment. Finally, Minka falls back and drives the crown of Xtasty's head into the mat with a pile driver. Xtasty's body crashes to the mat like a limp lump of flesh.
Minka laughs then says, "Or maybe this?" Minka hauls a totally unresisting Xtasty to her feet then quickly slides under the wobbling beauty before she falls again. Minka hoists Xtasty across her shoulders in a fireman's carry. With the flaccid woman draped across her shoulders, Minka proudly parades around the ring, displaying her conquest to the roaring crowd. Finally Minka dumps Xtasty off her shoulders, directing her to fall squarely on the back of her head.
"I have one more." Minka announces. Minka hair hauls Xtasty off the mats and ushers the beaten woman to the corner. With a mighty heave, Minka picks Xtasty up and seats her on top of the top turnbuckle. Minka climbs up after her as Xtasty sways on her perch. Minka ducks Xtasty's head under her arm, then hoist the battered beauty upside down. Then Minka falls backward, super flexing Xtasty from the towering height of the top turn buckle. Minka pops to her feet, leaving Xtasty lying flat on her back.
Minka and Lisa congratulate each other as Xtasty lies a total wreck on the canvas. "Don't forget," Minka starts, "Our fans like to see tits and ass." Minka rubs o her own boulder sized knockers seductively. Minka takes off her bikini top, and exposes the surgical wonders to the audience. Next Minka goes to where Xtasty is lying. She takes a seat on Xtasy's stomach. Gamely Xtasy's hands rise and tries to put up a weak form of resistance, but Minka quickly and easily overcomes. Minka removes Xtasty's bikini top, and tosses it aside.
Finally Minka slams her tits down on Xtasty's enormous breast. It is a clash of titans, but Minka's monster boobs prove larger, stronger and dominant. Minka secures Xtasty's arms to the side on the mat, while she batters and bruises Xtasty's breasts with her own tits. Minka sinisterly laughs as her tits flatten Xtasty's breasts. Minka's mammoth knockers tame Xtasty's monster, putting them on a leash, and making Xtasty's boobs conform to Minka's tit's will. Xtasty can only lie under Minka and grunt and groan as Minka has her fun.
Mercifully Minka rises off her opponent. she leaves a mass of curly hair and tattooed chocolate colored flesh on the canvas. Minka finishes stripping Xtasty, removing the black shorts off of the hurting porn star. Minka goes behind Xtasty, and hauls her off of the mat to her knees. "Smile for the camera beetch." Minka quips as she drops to her knees behind Xtasty. Minka reaches under Xtasty and sinks her fingers into Xtasty's pussy, and starts playing and squeezing. Xtasty bows her back back, putting her bruised breast on display even more and starts cooing and moaning like she is performing in an adult video.
Lisa bends over and laughs in Xtasty's face. "You fucking hoes. I'll get you for this." Xtasty croaks.
"No you won't" Lisa bluntly answers. "You're not woman enough to beat me or Minka." Xtasty had a hard time arguing that fact at the moment. Lisa has already defeated her, and Minka has proven to be much tougher than she expected.
Minka releases Xtasty, allowing her to flop forward and lie flat on her face while moaning in more pain than she ever imagined. "Come on bitch", Lisa says as she grabs a handful of Xtasty's curls. "Get up, you're coming with me." Lisa orders. With no other options Xtasty painfully rises to her hands and knees and follows where Lisa leads her by the handful of hair.
Lisa leads Xtasty to crawl under the ropes and out of the ring. Lisa escorts her captive to the timekeeper's table. Lisa slams the defenseless Avenger face down on the table. Next Lisa wrenches one of Xtasty's arms behind her back into a hammer lock. Minka grabs Xtasty's other arm and contorts it into a hammer lock also. Xtasty howls in pure agony. "YYYyyyyeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! You're breaking my arms! Please don't break my arms!" Xtasty pleads.
Raquel Welch, Pam Grier, Lynda Carter and Loni Anderson, the booking committee are seated on the other side of the table that Xtasty is face down and begging at. "Before we go any further, I think you owe these ladies an apology for disrespecting them a couple of weeks ago." Lisa states.
Desperate and in severe pain, Xtasty immediately shouts out "I'm Sorry!!!" without any further urging from Lisa or Minka. "I'm sorry, please forgive me! I'll never disrespect you again." the desperate woman begs. "Call them off, they're breaking both of my arms! PLEASE!!!"
After receiving a slight nod from Loni, Lisa releases her hammer hold. Minka let go her lock and turns Xtasty over and bends her over backward on the table. Next Minka drops her massive tits on Xtasty's face and locks in a tight breast smother.
Xtasty's muffled cries can be heard coming from underneath the mountains of flesh. "MMmmm submi.... MMmmm quit...." can distinctly be heard along with Xtasty patting the table, trying to tap out.
Meanwhile Lisa is paying no attention to Xtasty's submission. She is having a nice cordial conversation with Raquel Welch. Xtasty is flailing and kicking under the slender Korean with the watermelon sixed breasts on her face. During Lisa's engaging conversation with Lynda, Xtasty's thrashing slows and her body goes limp. Minka stays in place, and Lisa continues to ignore her suffering, and the peril of being smothered for far too long.
Eventually Lisa goes to Xtasty. She lifts her lifeless arm up three times, allowing it to drop limply to the table. Lisa grabs the hammer and rings the bell herself. Minka releases Xtasty, allowing her lifeless body to slide off the table and fall into a heap of flesh at her feet. Lisa then raises Minka's arm in victory.
Later in the television broadcast, interviewer, Cindy Margolis, is talking to Pam Grier, Lynda Carter, Loni Anderson and Raquel Welch from the booking committee. Raquel explains to the audience, "You can see the benefits of a strong, 'Enforcer referee'. That is why I'm pleased to announce that there are two special guest referees for Pam and Lynda's match with Jada Pinkett Smith and Jennifer Aniston. Pam Anderson of the Fab Four and Jenny McCarthy of the ABA will officiate the match at RAGE!" Raquel chuckles, very amused. "Good luck, Jennifer and Jada, you'll need it."
BACK TO THE CELEBRITIES
TO SPONTANEOUS XTASTY
TO LISA Lipps
FOLLOW DragonLily, Ariel X, Holly Heart, Penny Barber, Syd Blakovich TO ULTIMATE SURRENDER!