The Last Hurrah #4: Rachel McAdams vs. Billie Piper by The Walkin' Dude
It's your right and your ability,
To become my perfect enemy.
~ A Perfect Circle


Moments after the standard ring had been reassembled, the Announcer stepped into the spotlight and proclaimed, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a LAST WOMAN STANDING MATCH! The rules of this match state that a winner will ONLY be declared when one woman can not answer the referee's Ten Count. And please note, the official will not automatically begin the count, the combatants will have to ask for it to be started and the count will be reset immediately if the fallen women is touched by her opponent." Pausing to make sure the audience seemed to get it, he waited another few heartbeats and continued... "Introducing first, she stands 5’6” tall and is unquestionably England's greatest export. She is the mistress of the U.K.O… I give to you... Billie Piper!"

The distinctive guitar riff of AFI's 'Miss Murder' rolls through the speakers and the capacity crowd goes NUTS as the curvy blonde strolls into view. For her battle tonight Billie was clad in her typical ring gear, a simple black bikini with a small Union Jack insignia emblazoned on the right hip. Taking the time to slap hands with the fans on the aisle, Billie sauntered up the steel steps, leapt over the top rope and landed in a confident little pose all in a single graceful motion. As her music began to fade, she climbed onto the middle rope and raised a hand high overhead, the sign she always threw up before the start of a match. Grinning back at the thousands of fans mimicking her sign, the blonde stepped down from the ropes and turned her eyes towards the entryway.

When Piper's music died and the audience quieted to a dull roar, the Announcer continued, "And her opponent at 5’5” tall … they call her the Auburn Avenger… allow me to introduce... Rachel McAdams!"

'Oleander's Are You There' fires up and McAdams doesn't take much time in letting her presence be known. Standing confidently at the top of the ramp, the wildly popular redhead is clad in a sporty red bikini with a slender white belt and matching red and white pads. Her dark red hair and bright blue eyes almost seem to glow under the bright lights of the stadium and who could blame her for being pumped up? After all, she is about to lock horns with a woman as tough as she is and that's not something Rachel McAdams gets to do every day. Reaching the edge of the ring, she slides under the bottom rope and pops to her feet. Never taking her eyes off Billie, the Canadian Goddess raises both arms over her head before strolling to her corner.

The bell rang to signal the beginning of the match, but thus was something that Billie acknowledged only in passing. At the moment her attention was devoted solely to McAdams and just what she would have to do to the redhead to keep her on the canvas for a ten count. Honestly, of all the women the fans could have put in the ring with her, Rachel's name had never occurred to the Briton and that bothered her, because now that she was standing across the ring from the Canadian, she instinctively knew that McAdams was the type that would fight her tooth and nail which is a quality Billie had to respect, if not necessarily like. Rocking lightly on the balls of her feet, the curvy blonde took a deep breath and muttered, "All right Rachel McAdams, fate 'as put ya in my way, but it's destiny that's gonna knock ya on yer arse..."

Stepping away from the buckles, the British Bombshell keeps her eyes locked on the Auburn Avenger as she headed toward the center of the ring. While Piper was looking her over from the opposite side of the squared circle, Rachel rolled her shoulders and thought about this challenge that the fans had placed before her. While she was mildly irked that it wasn't Allison Mack occupying the other corner, she had to admit that Billie made a fine substitute and the Last Woman Standing stipulation was just icing. While beating Piper to her knees (and then to her face) was going to be difficult, there was no doubt in her mind that she would emerge victorious and after she placed her foot on Billie's bruised, swollen face, there'd be no way for the fans OR the management to deny her the Title Match she desired.

A moment later, the blonde left her corner and Rachel prepared to meet her. Dropping down into a squat, Rachel hissed, "Let's see what you're made of Billie."

Popping to her feet, Rachel strolled to meet her newest rival. When they met in the center of the squared circle, stillness reigned for a moment, then Piper stuck out her right hand. Regarding the blonde warily, Rachel asked, "Aren't we supposed to do that after the match?"

Smiling, Billie replied, "I figured now was the best time fer pleasantries. After the match, one of us probably won't be capable of shakin' 'ands."

Returning the blonde's smile, McAdams shook her foe's hand and replied, "If you can pick yourself up off the canvas, I'll be more than happy to shake your hand."

Eyes narrowing, Piper chided, "Ya got it all backward Rachel. I'll be the one standin' over ya when the ref counts ten. But I'm sure ye'll be classy even in defeat."

Rachel's tone was icy as she squeezed Billie's hand a little tighter. "You're never going to know what it feels like to beat me UUNGHHHHHH…"

Tired of words, Billie jerked Rachel towards her and wrapped up the surprised redhead in a tight Side Headlock. Grinding McAdams' skull in the vise of her left arm and the point of her hip, Billie rose up on her toes to add even more pressure to the simple maneuver. Smiling brightly, she rubbed Rachel's temple against her hip and chided, "If beatin' ya feels like squeezin' yer 'ead, I think I'm gonna enjoy it very much Rachel!"

Gritting her teeth in an attempt to block out the insistent pressure compressing her skull, McAdams slapped at Piper's back and elbow for a moment before she regained her senses and snapped a short little punch into the curve of Billie's abdomen. Noting the breathy 'oomph' that burst from the Briton's lips, Rachel smacked another flurry of punches into Piper's navel and when she felt the blonde's legs tremble, she wrapped her arms around Billie's hips and marched her to the ropes. Feeling the cables at Piper's back, McAdams grabbed a hold and demanded, "BREAK!"

Grumbling about Rachel's pugilistic countermeasure, Billie released the Headlock and allowed the redhead to step away without incident. In retrospect, this might have been a mistake because it was just then that McAdams chided, "Your belly's feeling a little soft there Piper. What's wrong, you Brits don't like crunches?"

Quickly quelling the irritated flash that passed across her face, the blonde slipped into a wrestler's crouch and fired back, "If ya think you've got what it takes ta push me around McAdams, by all means, call me soft. Otherwise, I'd keep my gob shut if I were ya."

Settling into a crouch of her own, Rachel said, "Good thing you're not me." The words were still coming out of her mouth when the redhead lunged forward and engaged her foe with a simple Collar and Elbow Tie-up. Pushing steadily at Piper's neck and elbow, the Canadian beauty dug her feet into the mat and started bulling Billie back toward the corner.

At first, Piper couldn't believe she was being overpowered by the smaller vixen and she fought against McAdams with everything she had, but when it became clear that the redhead was going to march her into the buckles, Billie calmed her nerves, set her feet and torqued her hips in an effort to reverse positions with her attacker. Unfortunately for the blonde, Rachel was prepared for the tactic and as Billie went into her spin, Rachel spun with her and swung Piper around with her which just meant that Billie was just the slightest bit dizzy when she slammed up against the thinly padded buckles.

Getting her hands up against Billie's face, Rachel pushed hard, cranking her rival's head back at a sharp angle. Barely noting the ref's count, McAdams asked Piper, "If you can't beat Mack, how the hell do you expect to beat ME?"

Temper rising to a slow boil at the mention of the 'A word' Billie tried to reply, but her lips were being mashed by the redhead's hands and she had to wait for the official to enforce the break. When McAdams stepped back, Piper's rubbed the feel of the redhead's fingers off her face and grumbled, "Don't flatter yerself Rachel, ya got nothin' on UNNNGHHH!"

Repaying the blonde's favor from a moment ago, Rachel darted forward and secured a harsh Side Headlock on her opponent. Yanking the squirming blonde out of the corner, Rachel dropped to one knee and taunted, "Now THIS is how you apply a Headlock Piper. And since I know you're gonna try to punch me sooner rather than later, I think I'll show you the proper way to..." she trailed off just long enough to regain her vertical base and SLING Piper over her hip, dropping the former IC-Champ flat on her back with a perfect Headlock Takedown.

Looking for that all important psychological edge, McAdams lifted her right foot, then stomped it down in the center of Piper's gut, a simple but brutal tactic that folded the blonde up around her boot. Pressing down even harder, Rachel stepped over her gasping foe and noted, "Yep, that's definitely soft. You been hitting the chips again Billie?"

Not waiting for a proper response, Rachel turned around and fired off another stomp only to have the English lass grab her foot around the ankle. Without saying a word, Piper wrenched McAdams' ankle, dropping the redhead flat on her face with a startled groan. Keeping hold of her adversary's foot, Billie Scissored her legs around Rachel's captured leg and cinched up the toned gam in a nasty Ankle Lock. Tugging and reefing at Rachel's helpless joint, Billie taunted, "Maybe ya should look inta some chips yerself Rachel. A little meat on yer bones might make it 'arder fer me ta snap yer ankle!" She ended her commentary with another series of sharp jerks on her foe's foot.

Cursing the sloppy mistake, McAdams dug her hands into the canvas and clawed her way towards the sanctuary of the ropes. After several painful seconds she was able to grab hold of the lowest cable and after that she only had to endure four more seconds of the blonde's twisting and jerking. Keeping hold of Rachel's ankle just so the redhead couldn't scramble away, Billie got to her feet and smirked, "Yer bum's lookin' a little cheesy Rachel. I wonder..." The One Woman British Invasion lashed out with her right foot and kicked McAdams squarely in the butt.

Laughing at the Canadian's squawk of outrage, Billie released the redhead's leg and let her get to her feet. Hands on her hips, Piper taunted, "Now yer arse 'as got one big dimple ta go along with all the little ones."

Scowling, McAdams snapped her trunks back into place (over a backside which was absolutely dimple free if I may say so without sounding too prurient) and slowly raised both hands over her head. Curling her fingers in the blonde's direction, she asked, "Care to see if those pasty arms are as strong as your mouth?"

Snorting, Billie replied, "Yer from Canada Rache, yer in no position ta be callin' anyone 'pasty.' But ta answer yer question..." The Briton stormed forward, raised her hands and SLAP, cuffed her palms against the redhead's. As their fingers locked, she finished, "I think ye'll know who's stronger when yer lookin' at me from yer OOFHH!"

Rachel cut her off by twisting her hips and SMECCK slammed the taut, pale plane of her left thigh up into the blonde's unsuspecting tummy! Smirking into Piper's ear even as she delivered another Thigh Smash, the redhead tightened her grip on the Briton's hands and trundled her back against the buckles. When Billie could retreat no more, McAdams released her handhold and grabbed the top rope on either side of her blonde. Stepping back, Rachel caught her breath, then lunged forward and SMECK drove her thigh up into Billie's abs.

Pulling away to reset her footing, McAdams said, "In case you haven't realized it yet, (SMECK!) taut and fit (SMECK!) beats soft and dumpy (SMECK!) every (SMECK!) time (SMECK!) out!" (SMECK!)

The final blast took a lot out of the blonde and she slumped forward cradling her midsection, but Rachel just smeared her back upright and moved her hands to the middle ropes. Rearing back, the redhead pistoned her shoulder forward over and over again and it soon became apparent to the audience that McAdams believed that if Billie couldn't breathe, Billie couldn't stand and if Billie couldn't stand, she couldn't win the fight.

This was something Piper herself was already painfully aware of, but she wasn't going to just let the redheaded slag steamroll her into defeat either. Biding her time, she waited for Rachel to pull back and when McAdams lunged in, Piper brought her left knee up and SMACK drove it between the Canadian’s eyes!

The force of the strike stood Rachel up on her toes for just a second and in that second Piper saw a golden opportunity. Flashing a brilliant smile, the British Bombshell stepped forward, twisted away from her reeling rival, then torqued back towards her, brought her right arm up and THWAP drove a beautiful European Uppercut off the redhead's chin.

Billie's simplest trademark maneuver sent Rachel staggering back on spaghetti legs, but the shorter grappler didn't go down. Drawing in a deep breath, Piper offered McAdams a taunting smile and said, "So yer taut and fit with a glass jaw huh? No wonder ya've never been a champion."

Rubbing her jaw, Rachel's blue eyes tossed cold sparks as she sneered, "Dumpy, pasty and can't throw a punch that'll knock someone down ehhh? No wonder you're Allison's bitch."

Smile dropping away in a second, Billie stepped forward, flicked out a hand and turned Rachel's head around with a scathing Bitch Slap.

Unwilling to let that sort of blatant insult go unanswered, McAdams blinked the tears out of her eyes and promptly tick-tocked Piper's head back and forth with a forehand-backhand pair. Using the pain to clear her head, Billie lunged forward, grabbed Rachel's retreating wrist and whipped her foe toward the far corner of the ring. Flipping hair out of her eyes, Piper waited for McAdams to THUD against the buckles before she sprinted along after her. Watching the blonde approach with eyes that were far more alert than they appeared, Rachel waited until the last second before she brought her left boot swinging up into the curvy girl's face.

Amazingly, Billie managed to get her hands up and she took hold of her attacker's ankle. Forcing the redhead to balance on one foot, Billie locked eyes with Rachel and cooed, "It's gonna be oh so satisfyin' ta make ya my bitch McAdams. I 'ope Katie and Neve don't mind passin' yer arse around a little bit more."

As Rachel started to hurl a response at her, Piper tugged the redhead towards her and THWAP caught her under the chin with a second European Uppercut. This one DID take her off her feet. Rubbing her forearm at the spot where Rachel's chin had connected, Billie took a few steps back and added, "I think I'll soften up that pointy chin of yers with some shoe leather before I give it any more Uppercuts."

Waiting in an expectant crouch, she wiggled her hips ever so slightly just to keep the crowd's attention. When McAdams got to her feet a few seconds later, Billie stutter-stepped to the side and blasted her right leg up and toward the redhead's jaw. But Rachel wasn't going to just sit there and let herself be tagged by the blonde's heel. Ducking low, she swung under and behind Billie's intruding leg and while the Briton was still recovering from the missed Super Kick, McAdams pressed in tight against Piper's back and wrapped her arms up in the Full Nelson that had made a slew of strong wrestlers cry. Locking her fingers against the base of the blonde's neck, Rachel wrenched left and right, shaking the squirming vixen like a helpless toy in the clutches of some sadistic child.

Nuzzling her lips in against the Briton's ear, Rachel purred, "Talk all the trash you want now Billie, by the time I'm done breaking you down, the whole arena's going to know that you're MY bitch!"

Refusing to acknowledge the Canadian's taunt with actual words, Billie just growled and tried to pull her way to the ropes. And despite Rachel's impressive strength, she ALMOST succeeded, but when she was just inches away from getting her foot across the cables, McAdams LIFTED her off her feet and spun her around in a half-circle that totally negated her prior effort.

Feeling that she had sufficiently demonstrated the power of her Full Nelson, Rachel released her hold on Billie's arms only to immediately wrap her up in a Waistlock. Forcing her head between the blonde's torso and left arm, McAdams lifted Piper into the air, held her there for a moment (she wanted the audience to see Billie wriggle) then took two steps forward and swung her captive down, driving her tailbone-first into the point of Rachel's knee.

The classic Atomic Drop sent a bolt of pain racing up Billie's spine and it took all her willpower to stay on her feet as she limped away from the smirking redhead. Sadly, collapse might have been preferable for the Brit instead of what came next. Stalking in from Piper's left, Rachel booted her in the gut and taunted, "Just remember Billie, this ends whenever you decide to stay down." Leaving Billie alone to let her words sink in, McAdams bounded away, hit the ropes and came roaring back. When she was close enough, the redhead brought her right knee roaring up to THWOCK off the blonde's forehead. As Piper was knocked up on her toes, Rachel stepped in behind her, reached over her shoulder with both hands and cupped Billie's chin. Standing back-to-back with her prey, McAdams tugged on her grip even as she sat out, yanking Billie off her feet to drill her with the Reverse Neckbreaker.

Sitting on her butt, Rachel dusted off her hands and got to her feet. Standing with one foot planted on either side of the groaning blonde's hips, Rachel smirked down into Billie's face and said, "I bet you'd like that ten count to start wouldn't you? Well I don't know how to tell you this but..." she reached down and slapped Piper across the face, just because she could. "It doesn't start if I'm hitting you. And I'm not done hitting you yet."

Burying her talons in the blonde's long locks, Rachel pulled Billie to her feet and took hold of the Brit's wrist. Stepping back from her rival, Rachel dipped her knees and whipped Piper towards the opposite side of the ring. But when the time came to let go of her captive's wrist, McAdams simply planted her feet, reeled Billie back in and nearly turned her inside-out with a vile Knee Lift to the belly.

Savoring the THUD of Piper's frame against the canvas, Rachel tucked her hair back behind her ears and murmured, "Gonna squeeze all the English slop outta ya right now Piper."

Dropping to her knees, the redhead pushed the blonde over onto her side and snuggled up next to her. Laying down facing the opposite direction as her rival, Rachel placed her cheek against Billie's hip even as she was worming her arms around the blonde's waist and locking her hands. Almost there, she scooted her thighs forward and wrapped them around Piper's skull.

Locking her ankles, Rachel began to squeeze down on the Bear Hug and the Headscissors, a move that brought an immediate and violent thrashing from her captive. Baring her teeth in a cold smile, McAdams crushed down on Billie's head and waist as she taunted, "What's the matter softy? You starting to wish you were in a match where your pathetic ass could tap out?" She finished her query by rubbing her thighs against Billie's ears.

Wincing and gurgling through the pain of the double holds, Billie slapped ineffectually at Rachel's legs and gasped, "I'm startin' ta wish ya'd done me the courtesy of a pre-fight shower McAdams. It smells like the London docks at 'igh noon down 'ere AAARRRGGHHHHHH!"

Infuriated that the blonde would taunt her when she was trapped in such a demeaning position, Rachel made it a lot more demeaning when she released the Waistlock and sank both hands into the defenseless flesh of Piper's tummy. Curling her fingers even as she twisted her hands in opposite directions, Rachel spat, "What you're smelling are all the gases that are escaping through the holes I just tore in your flabby, nasty gut!"

While this wasn't exactly true, the Belly Claw was a terribly painful hold and with the Scissors compounding her agony, Billie knew she needed to find a way out before the Canadian could do any permanent damage to her midriff. Blocking out the fiery needles that were digging into her abs, the blonde steadied her thoughts and after a moment's pause, gave a great lurch to her right that rolled her on top of McAdams. Now the redhead still had the claw and the scissors in place, and having her neck cranked back at such a wicked angle certainly wasn't doing anything to improve Piper's mood, but that brightened considerably when she planted her feet on the mat, pushed up as far as she could and then pulled them away, allowing her butt to come THUPPING down on Rachel's chest. McAdams grunted and tried to dig in tighter with her double Claw Holds, but Billie grabbed her wrists and held the redhead off long enough to lift up and deliver another improvised Butt Drop.

The second ass-to-rack collision finally forced Rachel to release the Headscissors and the moment she did, Billy straightened up, scooted forward and snugged her thighs around either side of the Canadian's face to trap her in a Schoolgirl Pin that saw the Briton's crotch resting comfortably against the point of her rival's chin.

Aggravated that Billie had been able to turn the tables on her so convincingly, Rachel bridged up and tried to push the blonde off her, but Piper's perch was too high so the redhead could only gnash her teeth and growl, "Get offa me!"

Shaking her head 'no' Piper ran her hands through her hair and taunted, "I don't 'ave ta do shit Rachel. See, in a normal match, the ref would 'ave already counted yer 'elpless little arse down and this fight would be over. But tonight 'e can only count when I'm not touchin' ya and that means..." She buried both hands in McAdams' auburn locks and pulled the startled young woman's face directly into her crotch.

Mashing her squirming, shrieking foe's features against the warmth of her center, Piper licked her lips and chided, "... that means I can ride yer face fer as looooooong as I want."

Howling in muffled indignation as Billie continued to grind on her, Rachel pushed back as far as she could and shot her legs off the canvas. Working blind, she managed to snag them up under Piper's armpits and the moment she felt everything slip into place, she kicked forward and succeeded in tearing Billie from her throne in a makeshift sort of Sunset Flip.

For her part, Piper was surprised by the tactic, but not caught off guard. As soon as she realized what McAdams was doing, she put her momentum into the roll and when her shoulders hit the canvas, she somersaulted backwards and popped to her feet. This proved to be a rather advantageous position as she was now standing directly in front of a sitting, bleary-eyed Rachel and the blonde didn't waste a second in shooting forward to snap a hard Soccer Kick at the redhead's chin.

But Billie wasn't the only one with lightning-fast reflexes and Rachel proved it by darting her hands up to catch the incoming foot at the last possible moment. Holding Piper's foot in front of her face, McAdams snarled, "Let's see how flexible you are Billie." Before the words had left her mouth, she TUGGED on the blonde's foot and the Briton dropped to the canvas, landing in a painful Split right beside her opponent. Smiling prettily into Billie's crimped face, Rachel asked, "Crotch hurt?"

Wincing, Piper fired back, "Nothing yer face can't cure." THWACK!

Rachel lashed out and smashed Billie across the cheek with a backhand that knocked the blonde out of her Split and flat on her back. Looking to continue the work she'd started on Billy's midsection, Rachel got to her feet, grabbed Piper by the shoulder-straps of her top and pulled her up too.

Taking possession of the Brit's right wrist, McAdams pointed her toward the ropes and whipped her away, but instead of releasing her grip, the redhead followed along beside her victim and when Billie turned around to bounce off the cables, Rachel was right there to SMECK, give her paunch another dose of Canadian thigh.

Not satisfied with one, Rachel resumed her grip on the blonde's wrist and taunted, "Ya know Billie, over the course of my career, I've fought a lot of different girls, but I'd NEVER fought an ex-paper champion before tonight. Thank you for the honor." When Piper didn't respond, McAdams whipped her back to the other side of the ring and spiked her with another breath-stealing Thigh Smash.

Ready for something completely different, the redhead took Billie's wrist one more time, stepped back and then JERKED the gasping blonde into her waiting clutches. As Piper lumbered in, Rachel bent her knees, shot forward and wrapped her arms around Billie's thighs. With her hands clasped just beneath the blonde's butt, McAdams pushed straight up, executed a smooth 180 and dropped HARD to the mat to smash the full length of Billie's back into the canvas with a Spinebuster.

Figuring the Brit was finished, Rachel pushed away, put her hands on her hips and told the ref, "Count her down." Glad to have something to do, the official kept a watchful eye on Piper as he began to count, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE...'

Billie let out a loud groan, rolled onto her hands and knees and pushed to her feet. Flipping hair out of her eyes, she took a deep breath and said, "Sorry ta disappoint Rachel, but now that I know what a comfy seat yer face makes, I'm not leavin' till I get another ride."

Hands curled into fists, Rachel snarled, "I'm gonna ride you into the ground bitch!"

Lunging forward, she seized the blonde's wrist and tried to whip her into the ropes, but Piper had gotten wise to the tactic and before the redhead could release her, Billie planted her feet and reversed the momentum of the whip, sending Rachel to the cables in her place. When McAdams came roaring back towards her, Piper surged forward and planted both hands against her foe's pale abdomen. Dropping into a tight crouch, Billie stood up fast and SHOVED as hard as she could, sending Rachel straight up into the void with a perfect Flapjack. But as the redhead started to descend, Billie put some 'English' on it by stepping in and stapling a VICIOUS European Uppercut under McAdams' chin as she rushed past. The force of the impressively timed shot snapped Rachel's head back in a pain that was almost entirely forgotten the moment she slammed down onto the canvas a second later.

Feeling proud of herself, Billie stepped back, shook the tingle out of her arm and admired the wreckage of the sprawled redhead. A moment later the ref asked, "Do you want me to start counting?"

She shrugged. "Yeah sure, why the 'ell not. ONE... TWO... THREE...”

Rachel sat up and got to one knee, forcing the count to end. More than a little pleased that the Canadian still wanted to play, Billie stalked up behind her penitent adversary and pulled her to her feet with a handful of hair. Nuzzling in behind the smaller woman, Billie wrapped her arms around Rachel's midsection and sneered, "This 'ere is called chain wrestling Rachel and it's the reason Neve made ya look shabby at the Christmas Party last year."

Ignoring the redhead's muttered reply, Billie doubled over and forced her head between McAdams' right arm and torso. Bending her knees, she lifted Rachel straight up into the air, executed a half turn to show the audience just how helpless she was, then swung McAdams forward and down to pound her tailbone with a retaliatory Atomic Drop. But where Rachel had been kind enough to let her prey stagger away, Billie wasn't being nearly so generous.

Cinching up on the Waistlock, Billie pulled her head out from under Rachel's armpit, bent her knees, then bridged up and back to deposit the ivory-skinned beauty on the back of her head and shoulders compliments of a German Suplex. The cheers of the audience seemed to indicate that they all thought Piper was done with her plaything for the moment, but the truth of it was, she had one last torture in mind.

Still holding the bridge after the Suplex connected, Billie rolled to her left and dragged both of them to their feet. Crushing down on the Waistlock, Billie whispered, "Who's feelin' soft now ya pathetic chav?"

Fighting through the pain, Rachel muttered, "You aren't strong enough to keep me down."

Licking the redhead's ear, Piper replied, "Maybe, maybe not. But I'll 'ave a lovely time findin' out."

Without another word, Billie shifted her grip slightly, keeping her left arm around Rachel's middle while she used her right hand to grab the shorter wrestler behind the knee of her right leg. Forcing her head between the redhead's torso and right arm, Billie bent her knees in a deep crouch and then lifted up and backwards, taking Rachel off her feet and hauling her into position for a Belly to Back Suplex. But instead of falling back to complete the move, Billie stayed on her feet for a few seconds and then sat out, driving Rachel forward as she did so. McAdams didn't even have time to cry out as she was driven face-and-chest-first into the mat by Billie's patented 'Anarchy in the UK' Facebuster.

Getting her feet under her, Billie nudged a boot under Rachel's ribs and rolled her onto her back. Smiling, she told the woozy redhead, "Just so you can look up at the lights." Turning her attention to the zebra, Piper added, "Count 'er out please." Doing as he was told, the referee started to count, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE...'

Voicing a weary groan, Rachel pushed to her knees and stood up shortly thereafter. Ready, willing and able to continue with her punishment of the redhead, Billie stunned Rachel with a heartless boot to the gut and when the Canadian doubled over, she slipped around behind her. Grabbing a handful of McAdams' waistband, Piper chided, "I wanna 'ear ya cry Rachel."

Listening for the first hint of tears, Billie stepped back, reeled Rachel in and THWAP, drove her forearm across the redhead's lower back. McAdams' gasped and tried to pull free, but Billie didn't think she was crying so the Briton repeated the maneuver one, two, three more times. After the fourth shot connected, McAdams collapsed to her knees, but that didn't mean Billie was done with her.

Hauling Rachel back to her feet with an impromptu wedgie, Piper growled, "So yer ready ta leave now are ya Rachel? Well lemme send ya on yer way with a proper parting gift!"

Tugging McAdams in once more, Billie snapped up her free arm and THWAPPED her captive across the back of the head with another European Uppercut. Rachel couldn't hold back a shocked sob as Piper's latest assault sent her shambling and reeling toward the ropes. To her great shame, Rachel almost made it to the cables on her feet, but at the last moment she collapsed to her hands and knees and simply remained there as she tried to get her head back into this fight.

Unfortunately, Billie wasn't going to give her the time she needed, a fact that was made abundantly clear when the Brit strolled up beside her and sank a hand into her hair. Relishing what she was about to do, Piper cooed, "I'm gonna make ya quit long before this fight's over Rachel. I can only 'ope yer smart enough ta know when ya've been beaten."

With her hands still in Rachel's hair, Billie led her captive to the edge of the ring and roughly threaded McAdams' head under the middle rope. Settling into a tight straddle with her butt resting on the small of Rachel's back, Piper pulled Rachel’s' limp arms back across her thighs. Taking a moment to jaw with her fans, Billie said, "Stripes over 'ere is gonna make me break this after five seconds, but luckily, that's all the time I'll need!"

As the mob spurred her on, Billie completed the hold by reaching over the middle rope and putting both hands under McAdams' chin. Lacing the digits tight, Billie leaned back with all her strength applying a basic Camel Clutch that was wickedly augmented by forcing the back of the Canadian's neck against the middle cable. Rachel's reaction was sudden and violent to say the very least. She tried to wrench and twist her way free, but with her arms draped over Billie's thighs, there wasn't much she could do aside from sit there and suffer.

Just as Piper had predicted, the official stepped in and started his count so Billie milked the Clutch until 'FOUR' and then released her grip, though she did not give up her mount on Rachel's back. Mussing the redhead's sweat-dampened locks, Billie sighed and said, "Ya know, I thought I was gonna be able to resist the urge, but I just can't. I gotta whip yer perky arse outside the ring fer a while."

Getting nothing interesting from McAdams, Billie relinquished her perch and quickly slipped out to the floor below. Standing in front of her wounded rival, Billie took hold of Rachel's head in a tight Front Facelock and used her free hand to secure a hold of the redhead's crimson togs. Backing up slowly, she pulled McAdams along with her until she was suspended several feet above the floor and kept from falling only by Piper's grip and her ankles being threaded across the bottom rope. Holding Rachel at her mercy, Billie looked to her left, then to her right and told the front row, "Yer gonna LOVE this."

As their buzzing started to increase, Piper rose up on her toes and sat out hard, a move that had the added side effect of SPIKING the crown of Rachel's skull into the thinly padded concrete with a vile Implant DDT. Scrambling to her feet, Billie took a seat on the steel steps leading into the ring and told the ref, "Count that skag down!"

Visibly wincing over the terrible fall Rachel had endured, the official began to count, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN...'

Incredibly, Rachel rolled onto her back and got her feet under her, despite the fact that it looked like her legs could give out at any moment. Both impressed and irritated that McAdams was still in this fight, Billie took a deep breath and sighed, "All right love, we'll do this yer way, but ya better not complain ta me when ya leave this arena on a stretcher."

Stepping in close, Billie cupped Rachel's chin in both hands and twisted quickly to her right, shifting both of their positions so that they were now standing back-to-back. Keeping a firm grip on Rachel's chin (McAdams' head was now bent awkwardly over her right shoulder) it appeared as if Piper was attempting a garden variety Reverse Neckbreaker but when the time came for her to sit out, she swung her victim back around and dropped to one knee, sending the Auburn Avenger crashing forehead-first into the posted joint.

In a silent testament to her will and tenacity, Billie's bizarre Neckbreaker variant wasn't able to take Rachel off her feet, instead, the Canadian was rocked up on her toes and sent staggering away. Sadly, that just made it easier for Piper to chase her down and THWAP nearly decapitate her with a running version of the European Uppercut she'd been hitting so frequently this evening. Ignoring the ref's inquiries of a count, Billie pulled Rachel to her feet and quickly wrapped her up in a Front Facelock. Dragging her stumbling nemesis over to the guardrail that separated the fans from the ring, Piper turned her attention to them for a moment and said, "Step back if ya don't mind lads, I'm about ta drop some garbage and I don't want ta get any on ya."

As they cheered her on and cleared out at the same time, the blonde slung Rachel's near arm over her shoulder and then used her free hand to grab hold of the Canadian's tights. Bending her knees, she paused for just a moment, then lifted Rachel up over her head. Holding her there for just a moment, Billie took two wobbly steps forward and proceeded to drop McAdams down gut-first across the steel barrier.

Taking note of the terrible 'OOOFH!' that burst from her foe's lips, Piper sank one hand into Rachel's hair and pulled her up just long enough to THWAP yet another European Uppercut across the redhead's beleaguered chin.

Basking in the praise of the audience as Rachel slid off the barricade and puddled at her feet, Billie said, "Now Rachel, this is startin' ta get borin.' When ya can't defend yerself, I'm 'onor bound ta put ya out of yer misery, so that's what I'm gonna do."

Peeling McAdams off the floor, Billie slapped on a loose Side Headlock and took off at a dead run. With Rachel trailing helplessly behind her, the blonde left her feet and began the Bulldog that would fuse the Canadian's face with the mat in a most painful fashion. But then, disaster struck. As Piper was leaving her feet, Rachel got her hands up against the small of the Briton's back and SHOVED as hard as she could. The unexpected push was enough to break the blonde's grip on Rachel's head and an extremely startled Billie was sent flying face-first into steel post that made up one of the corners of the ring.

There was a muted, but decidedly nasty THUNK as the former IC champ's head collided with the unyielding metal, but it was almost drowned out by the riotous cheers of Rachel's fans. The redhead gave them something else to cheer about a moment later when she stepped in behind the slumped blonde and pulled her away from the post.

Trapping Piper's arms above her head with the Full Nelson she loved so much, McAdams craned down on Billie's neck and whispered, "Suddenly it's looking like you're the one that can't defend yourself Billie, but ya know what? That's not going to stop me from enjoying the HELL out of this."

Clamping down even tighter on the Briton's neck, Rachel stormed forward and THUNK slammed Billie's head against the post again. Drinking in the pained shiver that ran through her victim's body, Rachel ground her hips against the blonde's ass and whispered, "I love feeling you quiver like that." Indulging in the things she loved, McAdams backed up only to repeat the head-banging tactic over and over again. It was only when Piper stopped shuddering and merely hung limply in her grasp did Rachel decide it was time for a new tactic.

Breaking her grip on the blonde's neck, McAdams muscled Piper under the bottom rope and back into the ring, but just far enough to keep a hand on her. Standing on the floor outside the ring, Rachel rolled Billie into position with the small of her back pressed firmly against the steel post. Lurking on the other side of the post, the redhead buried one hand in Billie's hair while the other grabbed the Briton's right ankle. Working slowly to keep her balance, Rachel lifted her left leg and placed her foot against the steel.

Almost ready now, the Canadian smiled wickedly as she said, "C'mon Billie, defend yourself." As the words floated between them, Rachel clamped down and PULLED back on her dual grips, bending Piper's whole body in a merciless U around the unyielding strength of the post.

The explosion of anguish in her back brought Billie out of the haze she'd been wandering in, but it certainly wasn't an improvement. Shrieking in pain, the blonde flailed and tried to tug her way free of the torturous predicament but McAdams simply pulled back harder and the Brit was forced to sit there and soak up the punishment.

Speaking through gritted teeth, Rachel sneered, "TAP OUT BILLIE! WE BOTH KNOW IT WON'T STOP THE MATCH, BUT TAP OUT AND I'LL LET YOU GO!"

Shaking her head 'no' the trapped blonde wailed, "GO FUCK YERSELF RACHEL, I'LL NEVER TAP TA AWWWGGAAHHHD!"

McAdams redoubled her effort to break Billie's spine and Piper couldn't help but sob her misery.

Annoyed that Billie wouldn't reward her efforts with even a meaningless submission, Rachel suddenly released the pressure on Piper's back and added her other hand to the grip she had on the blonde's hair. Giving the captured locks a single huge JERK, McAdams yanked Billie out of the ring and back onto the floor where she landed with a wet SLAP. Taking a moment to snap her red briefs back into place, Rachel glanced over her shoulder to the Announce Table and demanded, "Clear it off."

As Flash and D hurried to do as the redhead asked, Rachel tugged Billie to her feet and got right in the blonde's face. Nose-to-nose, she whispered, "Most people in my position would just beat you until you couldn't answer the count, but that's not my style. I'm going to stretch your miserable ass until you're softer than putty, then I'll just sit back and smile while you try to make the count.

Noting that the Commentators had complied with her request, McAdams led Billie over to the table and slung the wobbly-legged blonde up onto it. Crawling up after her prey, Rachel grabbed hold of Billie's right ankle and got to her feet. Tucking her prey's ankle snugly under her armpit, Rachel wrapped her arms around Piper's thigh and lifted up before turning her over and sitting down, applying a Single Leg Boston Crab.

The Auburn Avenger had held this position for less than five seconds when she let Billie's leg fall from her hands. In the same move, she shifted her position so that she was laying on the blonde's back facing her head, while at the same time scissoring her legs together, keeping Piper's right leg bent and trapped between her thighs. To complete her hold she looped her left arm under Billie's chin and locked her hands together.

With the STF in place, Rachel pulled back as far as gravity would allow, now putting pressure not only on Billie's knee and back, but her neck as well. Feeling the British Bombshell squirm helplessly in her grasp, Rachel purred, "OK Billie, what're ya gonna do? There's no ropes to save you, no ref to make me let you go, no one in the back coming to pry me off. All you can do is sit here and take my weight while I make you a spectacle in front of the whole world."

Reaching for something, ANYTHING that might help her escape from the STF, Billie snarled, "I... I promise ya McAdams. Before that bell rings again... I'm gonna... gonna...unnghhhhhh."

Rachel reefed back on her chin, cutting off Piper's threat. Tired of the blonde's mouth, McAdams challenged, "What Billie? What are you going to do?"

Summoning as much venom as she could, Billie answered, "I'll sit on yer face!"

Rolling her eyes, Rachel fired back, "You're in no position to be OOWW!"

All of Piper's squirming and adjusting finally paid off as she was able to force her mouth against the redhead's forearm and chomp down. Hissing at the pain in her arm, Rachel tried to maintain the STF but Piper wasn't letting go and she didn't want to leave a chunk of herself inside the blonde. Releasing the hold, Rachel scrambled to her feet and drove a hard-hearted stomp into the small of the Brit's spine. Standing tall on the Announce Table, Rachel muttered, "Get back on the floor." and kicked Piper off the table with a series of dismissive little kicks.

Regarding the fallen form of her opponent with a regal smile, McAdams found the referee and said, "Count her down!" Taking his place a few feet away from the wounded blonde, the official called out, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX...'

Billie placed her hands flat against the floor, let out a gasping sob and pushed to her feet. This was not a position she would occupy for very long because Rachel immediately jumped down, swung the blonde around to face her and wrapped her up with a rib-crushing Bear Hug. Overwhelming the stunned vixen in a chest-against-chest embrace, McAdams locked her hands and leeeeeaaaned back on the hold, putting immense pressure on the Briton's ribs and spine.

Resting her cheek against the erratically rising bellows of Piper's chest, Rachel said, "Tell me you quit Billie. Just two little words and I'll make sure the count that follows them is academUMMMPPPHHH!"

Ignoring the myriad aches and pains that were fighting for her attention, Piper snaked her arms around the redhead's neck and pulled her face-first into her décolletage. Trying her hardest to smother the Canadian out in her rack, Billie pulled Rachel in even closer and panted, "I wonder if ye'll be able to answer the count if yer too busy wiping tit-sweat off yer ARGH!"

The 'argh' was followed up with a THUD as a blinded, infuriated Rachel powered her opponent back and SLAMMED her against the ring apron. Piper sagged and released her hold on McAdams' skull, but the redhead didn't let go of her Bear Hug. Instead, she lifted Billie up and forced her into a sitting position on the ring apron. Hoping that her counterattack would leave the blonde stunned for long enough to do what was required, Rachel stretched Billie's arms out across the middle rope, then pulled the bottom cable up and over her arms to hold her in place.

Satisfied with her preparation, Rachel slapped Billie's face several times and when the blonde's eyes finally locked on hers, the domineering beauty said, "I'm about to put YEARS on your body."

Straining against her bonds, Piper growled, "I'll still outlast UNNNGH!"

Rachel buried a left in Billie's gut, forcing the air out of her lungs in a single burst. Squaring her shoulders in classic boxing stance, McAdams raised her fists and said, "These people are about to see you get REAL OLD, REAL FAST." Proving her point, the Canadian began firing a withering barrage of fists into Piper's belly, ribs and breasts. McAdams didn't hurry, she didn't have to. She just lined up, took her shot and then PIK, PAK, PEK, Billie would cry out and the process would start all over again. This cudgeling beat-down continued for well over a minute; it was only when Rachel's arms started to feel heavy that the redhead drew back and took several deep breaths.

Feeling confident that she hadn't punched herself out, Rachel strutted forward, grabbed a handful of Billie's hair and cranked her head back. "You make a great punching bag Billie. Still a little too soft for my liking though."

Hate burning through the glaze over her eyes, Piper replied, "Yer gonna BLEED for me tonight Rachel."

Shaking her head, Rachel said, "I don't think so." and yanked Billie out of the ropes. Holding the crippled blonde close, McAdams let her double over so she could secure a Front Facelock. Not even bothering to hook a handful of tights, she rose up on her toes and then dropped back to SLAM Piper's head into the thin mats with a simple DDT.

Rolling onto her side, Rachel clambered to her feet and panted, "Count." at the ref.

A heartbeat later, the familiar chant started once again. 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT...'

Piper's fans were getting nervous, pleading with the blonde to get up and thankfully, that's just what she did. With a little more than two seconds to spare, the Brit sat up, grabbed the apron and hauled herself back to a vertical position.

Beginning to feel the first pangs of real anger Rachel clenched her fists and spat, "Fine, let's take this back in the ring!"

Walking her girl down from behind, Rachel snagged a handful of Billie's togs and top and sent her rolling into the ring as a pile of groaning, jiggling blonde limbs. Hopping up onto the apron, Rachel looked from Billie to the tope rope and said, "Well... it IS a special occasion.

Jogging over to the nearest convenient corner, the redhead climbed to the top buckle and sank into a predatory crouch. Taking just enough time to decide exactly what it was she was going to do, McAdams straightened up and LEAPT out into the void. At the apex of her ascent, she pulled both legs straight out in front of her and waited impatiently as the inevitable drop towards Billie's neck ended with a


Rachel's gammy Guillotine came down on nothing but canvas as Piper rolled clear at the last second. Rachel screamed aloud and surged to her feet, only to immediately drop to her knees as the pain in her tailbone proved to be too much for her legs to overcome. She was still cradling her bruised backside when someone (she guessed it wasn't the ref) grabbed her by the hair and YANKED her to her feet. A moment later she was spun around and greeted with a vicious knee to the gut from a very pissed off Billie Piper.

Following up her Knee Strike with a slap across the face, Billie hissed, "Yer the one that's soft Rachel. And now I'm gonna prove it!" Keeping close to her glassy-eyed opposition, Piper reached out and snagged her foe's left wrist with her right hand. Acting quickly, she pinned Rachel's arm behind her back in a Hammerlock. Holding the limb in place, she reached around the redhead's back with her left arm and took Rachel's wrist in her left hand. Billie then used her recently freed right arm to reach down and grab McAdams' left leg, just behind the knee. Not even stopping to breathe, Piper bent her knees and picked Rachel up off the mat, lifting the Canadian until her crotch rested against Billie's navel with her legs loose around the blonde's hips.

Almost there now, Billie let go of Rachel's knee and snaked her right arm across the back of Rachel’s neck, pulling her head down into a tight Front Facelock. Finally done, Piper rose onto her toes, executed a smooth half turn and sat out hard, landing on her butt with Rachel still in her lap. The return-trip to the mat was not nearly so pleasant for McAdams as her Hammerlocked arm was damn near dislocated and her head was bent down and forward at a hideous angle with the point of her chin disappearing into the top of her cleavage.

The redhead had just been caught between the eyes with Billie's deadly U.K.O. finisher and while there wasn't going to be a three count to follow it up, everyone in the building was pretty damn sure it could keep Rachel down for the required ten. Shoving McAdams' limp legs away, Billie got to her feet and demanded, "Count that arrogant bitch out."

Not bothering to acknowledge the blonde's taunt, the ref began counting, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN...'

Rachel flopped over onto her belly, pushed to her feet and lurched around to find THWACK! Billie hopped forward and just TAGGED Rachel across the chin with the Super Kick she'd missed earlier in the fight.

Catching her balance, the blonde glanced at the referee and said, "Don't bother with the count this time, I've got something else in mind."

Leaving the ref to mull her plans in silence, Billie stalked over to the nearest corner and after a little fumbling, removed the pad and tossed it aside. Staring hard at the dully-gleaming knot of metal, Piper whispered, "That's more like it."

Returning her attention to Rachel, she treated the flattened redhead to a few hard stomps to the belly ('Who's soft now bitch?' she thought) the blonde pulled her off the mat and led her over to the exposed turnbuckle. Taking McAdams by the scruff of the neck, Billie told her, "If yer gonna bash my head against a metal post, ya best make damn sure I'm not awake to repay the favor."

Trying and failing to pull free, Rachel muttered, "Fuck... fuck you PipEERRRGGH!"

Billie responded to the impolite request by BWANG rocked Rachel's forehead off the metal turnbuckle. Grinding the redhead's features back and forth against the rough metal, Billie sneered, "I'm about ta show ya why I never lost a street fight back in Crouch End, and when ya cross paths with that lyin' fuckwad Dormer, maybe the two of ya can compare the scars I put on ya." Falling silent, she pulled Rachel's head back only to slam it down again and again, which of course meant that the crowd had to pick it up and count along,


Upon reaching her 'lucky' number, the blonde released her iron grip on McAdams' tresses and let the redhead go tumbling to her knees. Standing behind the kneeling Canadian, Billie rewarded her faithful followers with a double bicep flex and asked, "Just where she belongs ain't it lads!"

From somewhere deep in the multitude a voice replied, "She belongs under your ass Billie!"

Eyes lighting up, Piper cooed, "I couldn't agree more." Sinking her hands into Rachel's damp locks, Billie pulled the redhead to her feet and wedged McAdams' head between her thighs. Letting go of Rachel's hair, Billie reached down and trapped her arms in an unbreakable loop. Clasping her hands together, Billie bent her knees and lifted up fast, hauling Rachel off her feet. The trapped brunette was held aloft in Billie's grip for a few seconds before she slammed down spine-first compliments of a beautiful Double Underhook Suplex.

The moment Billie's back hit the canvas; she unlocked her hands, somersaulted backwards across the redhead's chest and popped to her feet. Noting that Rachel had come to rest in a rough sitting position, Billie's face went cold as she said, "Think ya can block this a second time?" Saying no more, she hauled her left leg back and rocketed it forward, smashing Rachel square in the face with a brutal Soccer Kick that THWACK echoed through the stadium. Passing on another opportunity for the ref to attempt his count, Billie pulled Rachel up with a handful of tights and doubled her over with a wicked left hook to the liver. Forcing the Canadian's head between her thighs, Piper lifted Rachel upside down, putting her in position for a Piledriver.

Working slow just so she could demonstrate how battered Rachel was, Billie unclasped her hands, leaving her right arm to hold the redhead in place while she snaked her left arm between Rachel's thighs, reaching downward and rejoining her right hand to reapply the Waistlock. With her grip locked, Piper leapt up and sat out, spiking the top of McAdams' skull into the mat with a diabolical THUD! With Rachel at her mercy after the Cradle Piledriver, Piper patted the center of the redhead's trunks and said, "Yer lucky I'm so nice." Then she pushed McAdams over onto her back, glared at the ref and said, "Count!"

Trying hard not to imagine the sort of splitting headache Rachel was going to have tomorrow, the zebra started ticking off,

'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SIVEN... EIGHT...'

Much to Billie's chagrin, Rachel rolled onto her knees and pushed to her feet with a weary moan. Cracking her knuckles ominously, Piper threatened, "Time to roll you up and put you away Rachel."

Taking a handful of the redhead's hair, Billie led her back to the center of the ring and forced her to bend over. With her right hand holding McAdams by the hair, Billie folded up her left arm and positioned it so that the point of her elbow was hanging directly over Rachel's head. Licking her lips, the blonde said, "It's been far too long since I did this to a girl."

'Girl' was still coming out of her mouth when she brought her elbow down THUD on the back of Rachel's head. And if that wasn't bad enough, the blonde also brought her left knee up THUNK against Rachel's forehead. The pair of strikes had barely connected before Piper reset her stance and repeated the maneuver. Gradually picking up her pace, Billie kept hammering away at her rival's head with knee and elbow; it wasn't until Rachel sobbed and collapsed to her knees that Piper found it in her heart to stop.

Keeping the pressure on her wounded rival, Billie tugged Rachel back to her feet and fed her yet another knee to the gut. Working in silence, Piper stepped forward and quickly forced both of Rachel’s arms up in a joint-splitting Double Hammerlock. Glancing down at the helpless curve of Rachel's back, the blonde smiled and said, "This should make your face a suitable place to sit." Without missing a beat, Billie kicked her right leg forward, sweeping Rachel's legs out from under her. The shift in leverage sent them both tumbling to the canvas, but Billie landed comfortably on her butt while Rachel landed flat on her chest.

Rising to her feet, Billie strutted around Rachel's insensate form and told the ref, "Ya know what ta do."

Indeed he did and shortly thereafter he was counting, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN...'

McAdams started to move, but instead of rolling onto her knees, she stayed on her side, rolled to the edge of the ring and slid out to the floor below.

Furious that the Canadian would turn tail and run like that, Billie snarled, "Don't think that makes ya safe from me Rache. I can get ta ya anywhere ya scurry offta."

Running the ropes at her back, Billie sprinted across the ring and when she was close enough the blonde left her feet and soared between the top and middle ropes to SLAM into Rachel like a five foot six inch missile. The Suicide Dive connected perfectly and McAdams was mashed into the mat with Billie poured on top of her, but those fans expecting the Briton to demand a count were in for a surprise. Instead of trying to finish the battle on the outside, Piper slowly got her feet under her and pulled Rachel up alongside her.

Leading her adversary back to the ring, Piper hopped up onto the apron and forced McAdams to climb it as well. Standing face-to-face with her nemesis, Billie taunted, "I know yer startin' ta quit Rachel. All I can say is that I 'ope ya fight it as long as ya can. Because I don't wanna see ya even TWITCH when the ref makes that final count."

The redhead opened her mouth to say something, but Billie shut her up with a tidy jab to the chin. Stepping in close to the reeling Canadian, Piper wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and lifted her up just high enough so she could drop her crotch-first across the top rope.

Enjoying the uncomfortable position she'd put Rachel in, Billie smiled and asked, "Did anyone else ever tell ya that ya've got a face that BEGS ta be hit? I bet Katie did. I'll 'ave ta ask 'er when I see 'er next." Pausing just long enough to make sure Rachel wasn't going to tumble over on her, Billie twisted her hips and THWAP one more European Uppercut off the redhead's chin. McAdams' head snapped back and the woozy beauty was knocked off her perch to land in a sprawling pile just inside the ropes.

Climbing over the middle rope, Piper noticed that Rachel had landed on her belly with just the slightest bit of arch to that world-class backside. Smiling wickedly, Billie sighed, "I just can't 'elp myself."

Pulling her right foot up, the Briton stomped down on McAdams' pert backside and proceeded to feast on multiple boot-fed servings of the redhead's buttocks and hamstrings.

When stomping the Canadian got to be a bore, Billie knelt down, snagged a handful of red briefs and tugged McAdams to her feet. Wrapping her arms around Rachel's taut midsection, Billie bent her knees and lifted up fast, hauling the sturdy redhead off her feet with a Gut-Wrench. But instead of falling to the mat to complete the Suplex, Piper dropped to one knee and swung McAdams back the way she had come; impaling Rachel's belly across the posted joint.

Dark eyes blazing as Rachel shuddered in her arms, Billie tightened her grip on Rachel's waist and got back to her feet. Muscling McAdams around like she was a lightweight, Billie lifted Rachel in the air, spun her around in a swift 270-degree arc and then dropped back to one knee; hitting the Backbreaker to complete the second half of the move known as 'The Rose's Thorn.'

With Rachel gurgling across her knee, Piper decided it was time to really show the redhead who was in control of the contest. After rolling her rival onto her belly, Billie hooked Rachel's bottoms with one hand and then YANKED up on the slick material, treating McAdams to an ignominious Wedgie.

As the redhead let out an embarrassed bleat, the blonde raised her free hand over her head, held it there for a moment and then brought it 'whicking' down to CRACCK off Rachel's almost naked rump. Smirking, Billie shoved Rachel off her knee and said, "That'll teach ya ta disrespect yer betters McAdams."

Shifting her attention to the ref, she added, "Count please."

Unable to take his eyes off the palm-shaped welt that was forming on Rachel's butt, the official began, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT...'

McAdams sighed and pushed to her hands and knees. Technically it didn't break the count, but Billie could see that she was on her way up and the blonde wasn't going to allow her the luxury.

Worming her way in behind the redhead, Piper wrapped her arms around Rachel's midsection in a Waistlock, but before she could get any further than that, the supposedly beaten vixen snapped her head back across Billie’s nose with a THUNK!

Piper let out a startled scream and staggered back from the Headbutt, only to have Rachel whirl around behind her and slap on a Full Nelson. Shaking the captured blonde back and forth, Rachel growled, "I'm gonna end this NOW!" Without giving Billie the opportunity to contradict her, the redhead jerked Piper off of her feet, released half of the Nelson and drove the Briton back-first into the canvas, starfishing her with a Full Nelson Slam.

Shoulders rising and falling as she caught her breath, McAdams didn't order the count started, instead, she drove her heel into the pit of Billie's stomach and sneered, "Stay right there bitch."

Trusting that the blonde would do as she was asked, Rachel hopped out of the ring and stalked over to the extra chairs that were always kept behind the Timekeeper's table. Taking one in either hand, the redhead said softly, "These should do just fine."

Sliding back into the ring with evil intentions, McAdams tossed one of the chairs aside so she could better swing the other. Holding her weapon by the legs, Rachel waited impatiently for the blonde to get up and when she did, the Canadian let out a low whistle. Instinctively turning towards the source of the noise, Piper had just enough time to realize she'd been played for a sucker when BWAM, Rachel nearly took her head off with a swing of the chair.

Grinning savagely as Billie went down in a crumbled heap, Rachel loomed over her fallen nemesis and placed the chair on Piper's weakly rising chest. Slapping the blonde across the face, McAdams taunted, "You better hope all those extra scones and English Muffins help you survive this."

Leaving the crippled Briton to process her threat alone, the redhead trudged towards the nearest corner and slowly climbed to the top rope. Turning around to face the ring, Rachel dropped into a crouch for just a moment then straightened up and pushed off, soaring through the air in a beautifully high arc that ended with her coming down chest-first across the chair she'd laid out on Billie. There was a loud, meaty sounding BWANG as the Splash crushed Billie's chest and took a considerable toll on Rachel as well. The crowd was too bust chanting 'HOLY SHIT' to notice, but the ref hadn't started his count. Not because he didn't want to, but because he couldn't. The rules of the match stated that one of the competitors had to ask for the count to be started and at the moment both competitors were rolling around on the mat clutching at their ribs.

This continued for nearly fifteen seconds before Billie and Rachel fought to their knees. Glaring daggers at one another, redhead and blonde surged to their feet and stormed forward to attack but McAdams was a split-second faster on the draw and she doubled Piper up with a boot to the gut. Moving faster than she had any right to, Rachel trapped Billie in a Front Facelock, slinging the British Bombshell's near arm over her shoulders while reaching down to hook Piper's left leg with her right arm. The moment her grip was secure Rachel pulled Billie up and off her feet, bringing the blonde crashing down hard with a Fisherman's Suplex.

Releasing the bridge on contact with the canvas, Rachel exploded to her feet and with a sense of imminent triumph she told the audience, "TIME FOR THE MCADAMS SMASHER!"

As the mob began to call for her finisher, Rachel buried her hands in Billie's sweaty hair and scraped the blonde off the canvas. Holding Piper close, Rachel sneered, "You want another shot at the IC title Billie? Well the line starts behind me."

Rachel stepped away from Piper and bent down so she could wedge between Billie's legs, as if setting herself up for a Pile Driver. In the same instant, she cinched her arms around Billie's thighs and clasped her hands, holding the demolished blonde in place. Pretty face a vision of beatific malevolence, McAdams straightened up with Piper now draped on her back, head down with her face right about level with her rival's ass. Allowing herself a slow, strutting circuit of the squared circle, Rachel bent her knees slightly and then jumped into the air. As she came down, she tucked her legs under her and landed on her knees at the same time the top of Billie's head was spiked into the canvas. The crowd leapt to their feet and roared as the Auburn Avenger had just connected with the murderous McAdams' Smasher.

When Billie's head slammed against the mat, Rachel let go of the blonde's legs, allowing her to flop out bonelessly behind her. And with Billie's head directly behind Rachel's butt, all the redhead had to do was scoot back a bit and sit down, dropping the full weight of her crimson-clad backside across Billie's face in a nose-grinding Front Face Sit. Grabbing a double handful of Billie's hair, McAdams forced Piper's face into her groin and ground away. She might not be able to win the match sitting on the blonde's nose, but she could humiliate the uppity brat like nothing else and after the way Billie had spanked her, a little rump-scrub was the least Rachel could do to pay her back.

Rocking and rolling her hips against the Briton's weakly moaning features, McAdams bit her bottom lip in a coy smile and panted, "How ya gonna ride my face now Billie?" Getting nothing but frantic, muffled screams from the trapped blonde, Rachel worked the face grinder until Billie's eyes started to drift close and even after the Brit had gone under, McAdams held her position just because she liked the sensation.

After a few more seconds of motionlessness from the blonde, Rachel stood up, snapped her briefs into place across her hips and purred, "Count her down."

Counting in a steady, methodical drone, the official counted, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE...'

Billie sat bolt-upright and scrambled to her feet to break the count only to drop back to one knee again. Luckily for her, Rachel was there to hook her under the shoulders and pull her back up. Standing belly-to-belly with the blonde, Rachel crinkled her nose and taunted, "Your face smells like ass Piper. But I can't tell if that's me or just your natural odor." Trailing off, the redhead slipped her arms under Piper's armpits, then pulled her hands up and laced them across Billie's chin. Bearing down as hard as she could, Rachel pushed forward on her rival's chin, reefing the Brit's head back at a terrible angle with a sort of Inverted Full Nelson. Doing her best to choke Billie out on her feet, McAdams jerked the innovative hold back and forth and spat, "Whimper for me Piper, I know you want to. Whimper like the blubbering quitter you really UNNNGHHH!"

Drawing on what might have been the last of her reserves, Billie steadied her footing and then RAMMED her left knee up into McAdams' vulnerable midsection. Rachel gasped and her grip loosened considerably, but instead of clamping down again to face the prospect of another unwanted knee, the clever redhead released the Nelson only to rake her claws across the blonde's eyes and tie her up in a Front Facelock. No longer in the mood for snappy banter, Rachel rose up on her toes before she sat out, once again drilling Billie's skull into the mat with good ol' fashioned DDT.

Sitting on her haunches behind the twitching blonde, McAdams put her head in her hands and took deep cleansing breaths. It's not that she was frustrated, far from it. The war with Piper was just beginning to take its toll and she wanted the British Bimbo to just lie down and accept her fate as Rachel's victim. After she'd gotten control of her breathing, Rachel got to her feet and grabbed one of the chairs she'd brought into the ring. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Billie was still tending to her wounds (she was) the Canadian warrior stalked towards the far corner of the ring and promptly wedged the steel implement in the space between the top and middle ropes. Jiggling the edges to make sure the chair wouldn't come loose, Rachel nodded once and murmured, "That should do just fine."

Leaving the chair in place, she headed back towards Piper and intercepted the blonde with a short boot to the forehead just as she was trying to get to her feet. Knocking Billie flat on her back, Rachel growled, "You didn't ASK me if you could get up."

Groaning, Billie gasped, "Piss off Rachel."

"Wrong tense bitch! You've just PISSED me off, but that's you're going to pay for it very soon."

Proving her point, Rachel bent down, grabbed Billie's wrist and pulled her to her feet. Maintaining her grip on the taller woman's wrist, McAdams pointed her victim towards the corner of the ring that just happened to be occupied by a steel chair and whipped her towards it as hard as she could. No longer in full control of her body, Billie saw the chair rushing up to meet her but all she could do was lurch around in a half circle and that just meant her back took the THWAM brunt of the blow instead of her chest.

Some way, some how, the collision with the chair didn't take Piper off her feet, but it did knock the Brit loose from the corner so she could go shambling back into Rachel's clutches. More than happy to oblige Billie's willful stubbornness, Rachel took a step to the side, making sure she was almost directly over the second steel chair. When there were only inches remaining between her and Billie, McAdams lunged forward and wrapped both arms around Piper's waist, slapping on a loose Gut Wrench. Locking her fingers, Rachel lifted Billie high into the air before spinning her around in a dizzying 270 degree arc and falling easily to her butt, dropping Billie's back directly on top of the chair with a spine-shattering Tilt-A-Whirl Power Slam.

Shoving Piper away even as the blonde arched up and shrieked into the lights, Rachel got to her feet and sneered, "Let's see you walk that one off crumpet." Glaring at the zebra, Rachel didn't even have to say anything before he started to count,

'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE...'

It wasn't exactly kosher, but since Billie had rolled to the edge of the ring, there was nothing to stop her from using the ropes to get to her feet and that's exactly what she did.

The crowd roared its approval for the Briton's show of fortitude, a sentiment that was not shared by Rachel unfortunately. Resisting the urge to just beat the snot out of the official, McAdams picked the chair up off the mat and channeled her fury at the reeling blonde. Raising the chair over her head, the redhead slowly approached her oblivious foe and when her shadow had juuuust started to fall across Piper, she opened her mouth and demanded, "Face me you bitch!"

Billie did just that and when McAdams saw the whites of her eyes, she brought the chair down in a brain-scrambling arc. Only problem was, it wasn't Billie's brains that got scrambled. Because at the very last possible second, the blonde had dipped out of the way and the chair intended for her face had instead bounced off the top rope with a low BWUNNG and smashed back against the Canadian's forehead.

Rachel's strong legs came unhinged and she dropped the chair at her feet so she could stagger around and clutch at her abused countenance. She was able to go about this unmolested for about three seconds and then Billie stepped in behind her and clamped on a Full Nelson of her own. Positioning herself just in front of McAdams' discarded chair, Billie bore down on the hold and panted, "That's a swing and a miss love. Now ya gotta pay fer it."

Billie bent her knees and exploded straight up, lifting Rachel off her feet in what looked to be the beginnings of a retaliatory Full Nelson Slam. But instead, Piper released her grip and with a nimble twist of her hands, spun McAdams around so that the redhead was facing her. Taking hold of Rachel's shoulders just as gravity started to take over again, Piper dropped straight back, taking McAdams for a ride that ended when she hit the chair face-and-chest-first with a Reverse STO from several feet higher than usual.

Flipping hair out of her eyes, Billie got to her feet and glared down into Rachel's slack face. Finding her voice, she growled, "That's one Empty Child fer one empty 'ead oh friend-a-mine." Not even bothering to look at the ref, she just panted, "Count 'er down."

Still trying to blot out the ominous THUD of Rachel's face hitting the chair, the ref took a deep breath and counted off,

'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT...'

McAdams rolled to her hands and knees, started to push up and BWAM! Billie slammed the chair down flat across the Canadian's back. Rachel let out a sob and dropped flat to the mat, but when the referee said 'ONE' Piper turned to him and said, "Not now." Still in possession of the chair, Billie left Rachel alone just long enough for her to wedge it in the corner opposite the one McAdams had set up. After testing the chair to make sure it would stay in place, Piper limped over to Rachel and put her boot on the small of the redhead's back.

Filling her lungs with life giving oxygen, Billie grinned out into the roaring sea of faces and screamed, "'ERE COMES A SPECIAL U.K.O. FER THIS MEAN LITTLE SLAG!"

As they cheered her on, Billie pulled Rachel to her feet and reintroduced her to the Briton's favorite move. Fueled by one final burst of adrenaline, Billie pinned Rachel's arm behind her back in a Hammerlock. Holding the twisted limb in place, she reached around McAdams' back with her left arm and took the captured wrist in her left hand. Then she used her now unencumbered right arm to reach down and grab the redhead's left leg, just behind the knee. Picking up speed as she moved along, Billie bent her knees and picked the Canadian up off the mat, lifting Rachel until her crotch rested against Billie's navel with her legs loose around the Briton's hips. Beaming as the audience's anticipation grew, Billie let go of McAdams' knee and snaked her right arm across the back of Rachel's neck, pulling her head down into a tight Front Facelock.

At this point, all Piper had to do was rise up on her toes and sit out to complete the U.K.O. but Rachel had fought the move off earlier and Billie wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. Holding Rachel as tight as she could, Piper lined up with the corner of the ring and took off at a dead run. The crowd realized what was up almost immediately and they CHEERED the blonde on as she bore down on the turnbuckles and RAMMED Rachel's back into the chair.

Ignoring the redhead's pained scream, Billie took a step back, pulled a serviceable 180 and sprinted back in the opposite direction. BWANG! McAdams' back took another hellacious mashing, but still the Brit wasn't done. Swinging around, she made a third trip across the squared circle to BWANG McAdams against the chair and that was finally enough to knock the chair loose from its moorings.

Turning back to the one remaining chair, Billie placed her cheek against Rachel's trembling shoulder and said, "Just one more sweetie, then this'll be over."

Looking for a set of four, Billie charged across the ring with Rachel in her grasp and BWAM rang up a fourth collision without incident. Feeling her strength start to lag, Billie wheeled around, took five giant steps forward and FINALLY sat out to nearly break Rachel's neck with the viciously augmented U.K.O.

Shoving the twitching vixen away from her, Billie lurched to her feet and croaked, "Count 'er down."

Joining the official in his duties, the crowd roared, 'ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN!'

At long last the bell rang again and Billie Piper was declared 'the Last Woman Standing.' Turning to the Announcer, she called for a microphone and when one, she limped forward and very deliberately placed the sole of her right boot against Rachel's upturned cheek.

Taking care not to put any pressure on the redhead's face, Billie caught her breath and said, "I want ta clear up a bit a slander that was visited upon my reputation tonight. Elisha Cuthbert.... Ya called Natalie Dormer the reason I 'fled' England? Lemme let ya in on a secret love, I left England because I got tired of kickin' Dormer's dainty blonde arse and if ya don't believe me, ask 'er ta show ya the scar on 'er forehead she always tries ta cover with that peroxide soaked rat's nest she calls 'air. And Natalie sweetums, if ya want another taste of what I did ta ya back in Crouch End, just pause fer a moment and look what I did to Rachel. She's a better wrestler than ye'll EVER 'ope ta be and she STILL ended up under my boot..."

She glanced down and ever so slowly ground her boot against McAdams' insensate cheek. "And Rachel love, if ya EVER come at me again, it'll be my arse that ends up on yer face, not my boot."

Having made her statement, Piper tosses the mic over her shoulder and exits the ring and quickly makes her way up the ramp in hopes that she might snag a quick shower before the next match.

Continue to 'Last Hurrah #5'