The Last Hurrah #8: Scarlett Johansson vs. Jennifer Lopez by The Walkin’ Dude

Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend.

Keep you in the dark and so it all began,

~The Foo Fighters

Gathering his voice, the Announcer informed the audience, “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a SMOTHER CHALLENGE. The participants have each chosen a specific sort of smothering technique that they MUST use to force her opponent to submit or lose consciousness. Introducing first, she stands at 5’5” and she has chosen the Face Sit as her weapon of choice... representing LAS - the Latina Assault Squad - Mizzzzzzzz JENNIFERRRRR LO-PEZ!”

The riotous opening of ‘Step Up’ rocked through the stadium and the crowd screamed its approval as the former champion sauntered through the curtain and made her presence felt. Standing on the top of the ramp, J-Lo fixed the mob with a smug little smile as she ran her hands over her silk robe she always wore to the ring. For this most special of occasions, Jennifer was clad in a sleek black bikini that almost appeared to shimmer under the glaring lights while also accentuating her tanned skin. The chromatic scheme was carried through to her boots, wrist tape and fingerless gloves as well, not to mention the ankle length ring robe that hung open just wide enough to offer the fans some details your narrator will leave to your imagination..

Setting her gaze on the ring, J-Lo began to stroll down the aisle and was about to make her way up the steps when the Latina Supreme stopped and locked eyes with someone in the front row. Sauntering over to the barrier, she smirked at Monica Bellucci and her friends (Cristina Scabbia, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Charisma Carpenter and Carmella DeCesare for those keeping score at home) and eyed an empty seat to Bellucci’s left. “Waiting for someone Monica?”

The brunette stunner just smiled, “Maybe.”

Smirk still in place, J-Lo replied, “You and I are gonna hafta have words one day soon.”

Before the Italian could reply, J-Lo turned, strutted to the apron, slipped out of the coat and draped it over the steel steps. Silently dedicating this show to Bellucci and her morons, Jennifer wiggled her hips at the brunettes and proceeded to place an entire audience in the palm of her hand by swinging her right leg up onto the apron in an impressive display of flexibility. After a few beats, she grabbed the middle rope in both hands and brought her other leg up, completing the splits on the apron before sinuously sliding under the bottom rope.

She rose and regarded the audience with an, ‘I know you want it, but you can’t have it.’ grin as she headed to her corner.

When the clamor for Jen had calmed a bit, the Announcer continued, “And her opponent…standing 5’4”…she’s chosen Breast Smother as her finishing hold. Representing ‘Destruction Incorporated’... MISS SCARLETT JO-HANSSON!”

Seether’s ‘Remedy’ rumbles to life as Scarlett stalks through the curtain and pauses at the top of the ramp. For her first match as a member of DI, Johansson is decked out in a simple black bikini that clings to her curves like a second skin.

The strawberry blonde had just started to make her down the aisle when Jennifer’s voice called out, “CUT THE MUSIC! I SAID CUT THE GODDAMN MUSIC!”

Scarlett’s theme was replaced by silence and the blonde was left glaring at the Latina Supreme in hopes of an explanation. Never one to keep an enemy waiting, Lopez sneered, “I know your slutty blonde friends will be waiting in the wings in case I start to beat your ass too badly, so lets just cut the crap ok? You bring those four tramps you call partners out to ringside and I’ll get the rest of the LAS out here to watch my back. Whadda ya say Red? Ya got the guts to make sure neither of us will be able to run away?”

Her pretty face expressionless for a moment, Scarlett’s features lit up in a cruel smile as she raised her right arm over her head and waved someone forward. A few seconds later, Remedy kicks in again as the rest of DI joined her. Flanked by Brittany Murphy, Adrianne Palicki, Natalie Dormer and Elisha Cuthbert, Scarlett strutted to the ring and slid under the bottom rope. Going to her corner, the blonde isn’t surprised to find Shakira, Vida Guerra, Mayra Veronica and Sofia Vergara materialize from the crowd and hop over the barricade. With each faction occupying two sides of the ring, the ref treated himself to a heavy sigh and said a little prayer in hopes for the best.

Surrounded by the combined might of the Latina Assault Squad and the second incarnation of Destruction Incorporated, neither Scarlett or Jennifer needed a lot of motivation to come out of their corners when the bell rang. Approaching the hated other in something that was equal parts strut and stalk, brunette and blonde came together in the center of the ring and stopped with mere inches to spare.

Regarding one another with steady, hateful gazes, Lopez and Johansson remained silent for nearly ten seconds before Jennifer leaned her head forward and sniiiiiiiffffed the air in front of Scarlett’s face.

Arching an eyebrow, the curvy blonde asked, “Like the perfume? It’s lilac in case you’re wondering. I was thinking about wearing my ‘Stinks like the bottom of a south beach dumpster’ fragrance, but then I thought you’d probably just smell like that anyway.”

Now it was J-Lo’s turn to arch an eyebrow. “You done?” she asked.

Johansson smirked, “I haven’t even started.”

Lopez stepped forward and the last few inches of Scarlett’s personal space disappeared. Speaking softly, Jen sneered, “I just wanted to know what you smelled like BEFORE you stank of ass sweat and shame. You know, just for reference.”

Taking the barb in stride, the blonde placed her lips against the Latina Supreme’s ear and whispered, “Your fans may love you for that fat ass, but I love you for your lips. Do you know why? Because they’re going to feel exquisite pressed against my breasts.” The Latina Supreme was about to offer a reply when Johansson reached around her hips and PINCHED the former champ’s right butt cheek. Yelping in surprise, J-Lo stepped back just in time to see the blonde raise her pinching fingers to her lips. Licking them daintily, Scarlett appeared to mull something for a moment, then nodded and said, “Just as I suspected. It’s made entirely of candy.”

Dark eyes narrowed to furious slits, Jennifer sank into a grapplers crouch and snarled, “Call it what you like bitch, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to GORGE on it all night long.”

Choosing action over words for the time-being, Scarlett dipped into a crouch of her own and seconds later the two vixens had collided in a classic Collar and Elbow Lock-up. After a few seconds of back-and-forth shoving, Jen bent her knees, gathered her strength and SHOVED forward. The clinch was broken and Scarlett was sent backpedaling until she tripped over her feet and went down on her ass with a dull THUD!

Sending a confidant look toward the LAS sides of the ring, Jennifer muttered, “Is that the best they got?” Letting her underlings mull this without her, Jen turned back to her opponent just as Scarlett was resuming verticality. Unsatisfied with the outcome of their first clinch, Scarlett stormed forward and engaged the Booty Queen in a second Collar and Elbow Lock-up. As their foreheads ground together, Jennifer sneered, “You really think you can push me around bitch?”

“You’re damn right I UNNGGHH!” Jen unleashed her power again and the results mirrored the last time as Scarlett was knocked rudely on her ass.

Smirking down at her fuming opponent, Jen put her hands on her hips and commented, “You really should consider letting me end this right now baby. If you can’t even grapple with me, you’re not going to last long once I decide to give you a taste of the butt.”

Growling low in the back of her throat, Scarlett pushed to her knees and lunged at Jen with talons extended. Unfortunately for her, this is exactly what the LAS leader had anticipated and she prepared for it by taking a single giant step backward. Grappling with nothing but air, Scarlett lost her balance and stumbled to one knee and…

THWAP! Jennifer spun on her heel and smacked her right hip into Scarlett’s face with the force of a regular Knee Lift.

Scarlett ‘unnghhed’ and was sent stumbling backward for a third time, but now J-Lo walked her down and brought the blonde technician to her feet with a double handful of hair. Her grip on Scarlett’s locks secure, Jennifer whirled around so that her back was to the blonde, then she dropped to one knee and tugged forward on Scarlett’s mane to yank her off her feet and PLOP her onto her butt with a painfully basic Hair Mare.

Pulling her fingers from the DI girl’s hair, Jennifer took hold of Scarlett’s shoulders and tugged her back, flattening her out against the mat. Before her opponent even had time to realize what was happening, Jennifer scooted forward and settled her ass onto Scarlett’s incredulous features. Wiggling her hips back and forth to form a better seal, Jennifer laughed, slapped Scarlett’s squirming belly and jeered, “You still smellin’ lilacs slUUUFFFFFHH!”

Deadly as J-Lo’s Reverse Face Sit was, she hadn’t cinched it in as thoroughly as normal and that combined with Scarlett’s uncanny ability to fight out of almost any hold led to the Latina Supreme being bucked off after less than ten seconds on her newest throne. Scrambling to her feet, Scarlett was rubbing her hands back and forth across her face in an effort to remove Jen’s musk. Glaring at the bronzed brunette with murder in her eyes, Scarlett hissed, “I’m gonna...”

But then Jennifer was on top of her and securing the blonde’s wrist in a manacle-like grip. Seconds later she was being hurled across the squared circle to BWUNNNG against the turnbuckles. Fighting to catch her breath, Scarlett looked on in stunned horror as Jennifer bore down on her with the obvious intention of giving her foe her patented Butt Smash!

Wanting nothing to do with Jennifer’s glutes, Scarlett rallied her senses and spun out of the corner just as Jennifer was leaving her feet. The Latina Supreme spun around in mid-air and directed her ass towards the spot Scarlett’s sternum had just occupied, but she was greeted by nothing but the middle turnbuckle. J-Lo’s backside slammed THWUMP against the thinly padded steel, then the Booty Queen was gasping in pain as she staggered out of the corner. She took about three steps before Scarlett stepped in and treated her to a Boot To The Gut.

Trapping Jen’s head in a Front Facelock, Scarlett threw the brunette’s near arm over her shoulder and quickly used her free hand to secure Jennifer’s tights. Bending her knees, Scarlett purred, “I always knew you were a one trick pony Jenny. I on the other hand...”

She torqued up and back, taking J-Lo off her feet only to immediately deposit her spine-first on the canvas with a blindingly fast Snap Suplex. The moment her throw connected, Scarlett somersaulted backward and landed heavily on her foe’s belly. Releasing the Facelock, she wrapped both arms around the back of the Latina Supreme’s skull, pulled her off the mat and jammed her face between the blonde’s patiently waiting rack. Smiling blissfully as Jennifer struggled against her weapons of choice, Scarlett finished, “...have more tricks than a slut like you could even imagiNNNNNGGHHHHH!”

Having had quite enough of Scarlett’s jugs, Jennifer’s wildly flailing hands finally found purchase in her foe’s strawberry blonde locks and she RIPPED Scarlett off of her, a move that brought the aforementioned groan from Scarlett. On her feet in a flash, J-Lo rubbed a forearm across her face, trying to remove the feel of Scarlett’s hulking mammaries.

Infuriated that the blonde was able to slap on her chosen smother so easily, Jen charged forward and tied Scarlett up in a third Clinch. The results here were similar to their previous encounters, only instead of shoving Scarlett onto her ass, Jen marched her backward to the nearest corner where she mashed her full weight against the curvaceous grappler. With one forearm across Scarlett’s throat and the other pressed into her breasts, Jennifer put as much pressure on her rival as she could before the ref reached ‘FOUR’ on his count.

Reluctantly breaking the hold, Jen raised her hands over her head took a step back. Locking eyes with Scarlett, she smiled and said, “Come and get it sweetie, I want to be nice and sweaty when I sit on your nose again.”

‘Again’ was still leaving her mouth when the Latina Supreme pulled an instant 180 and slammed her ass back in an attempt to knock all the wind from the blonde’s lungs. There was a breathless ‘UNNGH’ but the smile that crossed Jennifer’s face as the medicine ball of her rump slammed home was quickly replaced with a startled grimace as her left arm was locked up in a Half Nelson while her other arm was grasped around the wrist and drawn tightly across her own throat.

Still wheezing after the Butt Smash, Scarlett reefed back on the Cobra Clutch and taunted, “Don’t worry about it Jenny baby. When I pull your face out of my girls for the last time, you’ll be DRIPPING with tears and tit sweat.”

Hating the frantic choking sounds that were escaping her lips, Jennifer planted her feet against the mat and powered out of the corner. She’d gone maybe six feet before she straightened up and roared backward. Scarlett was carried along for the ride and the crafty blonde was unable to stop J-Lo from mashing her between body and buckle.

Scarlett’s arms fell away upon impact and despite the fact that she was gasping for breath, Jen turned to face her victim and continued the assault. Treating Scarlett to a thick Knee Lift to the belly, the Latina Supreme stacked her foe up in the corner and quickly mounted the second turnbuckle. Burying her left hand in Scarlett’s hair, Jen tugged the blonde’s head back, curled her right hand into a fist and roared at the audience, “COUNT IT OFF!”

Doing as the ex-champ commanded, the mob waited until she delivered the first punch and then started to tick off, ‘ONE... TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX...S…’

‘SEVEN’ didn’t come because Scarlett brought her arms up and wrapped them around the brunette’s nearly mythic hips. Hands clasped tight, Scarlett demonstrated some strength of her own by pushing out of the corner with Jennifer in her grasp. Glancing over her shoulder to gauge the distance, Scarlett was satisfied with her positioning so she dropped backward, a move that sent Jennifer’s started face into the top turnbuckle with a humming BWUNNNG. Shoving Jennifer’s quivering bulk aside, Scarlett got up, dusted off her hands and placed them jauntily on her hips.

Blowing a strand of hair off her forehead, Scarlett chided, “Looks like you rolled Snake Eyes fat ass. And your luck’s only going to get worse from here.”

The blonde battler pulled Jennifer to her feet (she made a point to do this with a massive handful of the Latina Supreme’s glitter dusted briefs) Moving her grips from togs to tousle, Scarlett pulled Jennifer back long enough to let the Booty Queen think about it and then WHAMM, drove her forehead into the top turnbuckle. Though she hadn’t asked for any assistance, the mob was more than happy to lend their voice as Scarlett bounced Jen’s head against the pad…

‘TWO... THREE... FOUR... FIVE... SIX... SEVEN... EIGHT... NINE... TEN’ more times.

Upon reaching ‘TEN’ the official’s whining started to bother her, so Scarlett pulled Jen away from the buckles, but she didn’t let her go. Whirling the Latina Supreme around so that her back was to the corner, Scarlett stood to her left and snaked her right arm behind Jen’s chin while she threaded her right leg around and then in front of the brunette’s left leg.

Leaning forward for a second, the blonde straightened up and fell backward hard. Now the Russian Leg Sweep was painful enough without any alteration, but Scarlett had seen fit to direct Jen’s head to SMACK against the bottom turnbuckle upon landing and that was icing the Latina Supreme just didn’t need.

Smirking as Jennifer moaned and clutched the back of her head, Scarlett got to her feet, grabbed the brunette’s ankles and draaggged her into the middle of the squared circle. Tossing Lopez’s legs aside, Scarlett quickly circled around to her opponent’s head and without a word of warning, dropped to her knees and lowered her juggs onto Jennifer’s face in a Reverse Breast Smother.

Circling her arms around J-Lo’s waist, Scarlett pressed her cheek against Jennifer’s heaving midriff and cooed, “If I feel a little lip on nip action I might just let this end quickly.”

She punctuated her generous offer by grinding her breasts back and forth against the brunette’s struggling face. Doing her best to conserve oxygen as Scarlett choked her out, Jennifer let her hands wander across the smooth plane of Scarlett’s back until she felt the tell-tale line of the blonde’s waistband under her fingers. Grabbing hold of as much of the material as she could, Jen YANKED hard. The blistering Wedgie caught Scarlett off guard and the blonde couldn’t help but break her smother as the material sawing into her rump had become a much more pressing issue.

Pulling away from Jen with an angry squawk, Scarlett quickly pulled her wayward togs back into a more comfortable position on her hips. Ignoring the hoots and cheers this cosmetic adjustment brought from the crowd, the blonde settled into a stalking crouch and padded up behind the Latina Supreme who was just now getting to her hands and knees. Licking her lips, Scarlett lined up her shot, then whispered, “Hey... ass-bag.”

Jen’s head swiveled toward the offensive tag and then Scarlett swiveled it right back with a short, explosive charging Knee Lift that probably would have knocked out a less sturdy vixen. Jen’s teeth mashed together with an audible CLACK before she collapsed onto her belly in a groaning heap. Looking to send a message, Scarlett placed the toe of her right boot on Jen’s upturned butt and began to grind it back and forth.

Turning an icy glare on the LAS half of the ring, Scarlett pointed at J-Lo’s helpless butt and announced, “THIS has got nothing on THESE...” she ran a hand across the swell of her well filled top, then she pointed to Jen’s followers and added, “…and you trashy putas have got NOTHING on US!” She spread her arms wide to indicate the rest of Destruction Inc and there was a round of raucous cheering from her friends to confirm the fact.

Speaking for the group in J-Lo’s absence, Myra Veronica stepped in close to the apron and hissed, “Watch your mouth slut. Otherwise we might just sit on ALL your faces before the night is over.”

Rolling her eyes, Scarlett chided, “Yeah, good luck with that chica.”

Turning back to Jennifer, Scarlett added a single hardhearted stomp of her heel to Jen’s buttocks, then pulled the woozy Booty Queen to her feet. Holding her opponent close, Scarlett’s expression was beautifully malicious as she told the brunette, “You brain-dead idiots made the worst mistake of your life coming after us earlier. I don’t know what the hell you were rambling on about, but if you were looking to get beaten and embarrassed, you sure as hell came to the right place.”

Jennifer opened her mouth to respond, but Scarlett pasted her with SMACK, a slap to the brunette’s cheek. With J-Lo’s head still spinning, Scarlett had no problem reaching her left arm through the Latina’s Supreme’s legs to grab hold of her butt. Slinging her free arm across J-Lo’s chest, Scarlett pulled her foe off the mat, lifted her onto her shoulder and held her there for a split second before THWAM pounding her flat on the canvas to complete the Body Slam.

Moving in that smoothly meticulous way that made her so damned good, Scarlett dropped to one knee, grabbed Jen by the hair and yanked her back to her feet. The ring hadn’t even stopped shaking from the first slam when Scarlett scooped the bigger woman up and held her in place for a second helping. Glancing from one side of the ring to another, Scarlett strutted towards the LAS camp, rose up on her toes and deposited Jen on the canvas directly in front of her followers.

Ignoring the snarled curses and taunts of the J-Lo’s followers, Scarlett sank her hands into the Booty Queen’s hair and slowly dragged her back to center ring. Scraping the brunette off the canvas, Scarlett appeared to be looking to complete the trifecta, but instead she lunged forward, wrapped her arms around the back of Jen’s neck and pulled the unsuspecting grappler’s face deep into her décolletage.

Cupping one hand against the top of J-Lo’s skull to add even more pressure to the Front Sleeper, Scarlett mashed her assets against Jen’s protesting face and purred, “Was that tongue I felt baby? I KNEW you’d love the taste of my sweat!”

Trapped in the snug furnace of the blonde’s cleavage, a clear part of Jennifer’s mind noted that she currently down 3-1 when it came to successfully applied smothers and though they weren’t really keeping score, the disparity didn’t gall her any less. Clearing her thoughts as best she could, Jen snaked her arms around Scarlett’s waist and locked her hands. Hoping that Scarlett’s back was pointed toward a corner, J-Lo dug in her feet and charged forward.

The sudden shift in momentum knocked Scarlett off balance and she was helpless to do anything other than backpedal until her back THUD into the buckles. Groaning, Scarlett’s grip on Jen’s head fell away and that meant Jen was free to crush against her and whisper, “At first I was just going to Smother you, but then you had to go and piss me off, so NOW I’ve decided that I’m gonna use my perfect ass to crush your nasty tits flat; THEN I’m gonna grind your nose while your sneaking, douche bag friends watch.”

Falling silent, Jennifer buried her hands in Scarlett’s hair and quickly traded places with her victim. Climbing into a seated position on the top turnbuckle, J-Lo threaded her legs around either side of Scarlett’s head and pulled her in close. With the blonde’s chin brushing her crotch, the Latina Supreme pushed out of the corner and rode Scarlett almost to mid-ring before the DI standout’s legs gave way and she collapsed onto her back with all of Jenny’s weight coming down ass-first across her chest.

Landing comfortably in a very high Schoolgirl Pin, Jen placed her hands on her thighs as she looked down into Scarlett’s pale face and asked, “Can you guess what’s coming next honey?” Having no particular interest in hearing Scarlett’s answer, Jen scooted forward and dropped the full weight of her undercarriage across the blonde’s nose in a scandalously snug Front Face Sit.

Crushing her thighs against the side of Scarlett’s head, Jenny took a double handful of strawberry blonde locks and tugged the shrieking grappler’s features against her center. Bucking and rolling her hips, the Booty Queen flung her head back and purred, “Go ahead and scream baby, that just makes this more enjoyable for me...”

She trailed off for a moment as Scarlett’s fingers dug into her wrists, but though the grip was strong and painful, it was nowhere near enough to dislodge Jen from her perch. Happy to teach the squalling bitch something about air deprivation, Jennifer spread her thighs a little wider, forcing more of her weight down onto Scarlett’s face. Taking great pains to mash and grind her pubic bone against the blonde’s mouth and nose, Jen increased the pace of her face grinder even as she asked, “You think you’re ready for the Reverse Face Sit honey? I don’t think you’ve got what it takes to escape this pin, let alone my gorgeous ASSSHISSSSAAAARRGGHH!”

The Booty Queen’s taunt devolved into a pained shriek as Scarlett’s jaws clamped down on the ropey muscles on the inside of her right thigh. Hissing in pain, Jennifer scrambled out of the Face Sit and treated Scarlett to a Stomp in the belly for her troubles.

Checking out the bright red crescent that now marred her South Beach bronzed skin, Jen growled, “Fuckin’ bitch!” She added another Stomp this one to Scarlett’s rack for good measure!

Scarlett gasped and flopped onto her side while Jen took a moment to adjust her togs before pressing her attack. With her briefs snapped back in place, the Latina Supreme dropped to one knee, grabbed Scarlett by the straps of her top and pulled her up. Whirling around behind the blonde, Jen stood back-to-back with her foe as she reached over her right shoulder with both hands.

Hooking Scarlett across the chin, the leader of the LAS mugged for the cameras and rubbed her butt back and forth against Scarlett’s for nearly ten seconds before she pulled the blonde in close and leeeeeaaaaned forward, a move that lifted Scarlett onto her back and put tremendous pressure on her neck. Jostling the Hangman for several seconds, Jen eventually straightened up and let Scarlett’s feet return to the mat. Still holding the blonde close, J-Lo repeated her butt-to-butt scrub down as she told the fuming DI contingent, “Don’t get jealous ladies, there’s MORE than enough ass for all your nasty little pug noses.”

Sneering contemptuously at the brunette, Elisha Cuthbert fired back, “FUCK YOU WIDELOAD! SCARLETT’S GONNA GRIND THAT FAT ASS OF YOURS INTO THE MAT!”

Shaking her head ‘no’ Jen teased, “I don’t think so cutie. Scarlett here... she’s my new toy... and when it comes to toys, I always break ‘em ‘cause I play very rough!”

Showing Elisha and the rest of her followers what she meant, Jennifer bent her knees and leaned forward again, only this time she did it hard enough and fast enough to roll Scarlett up and off her back to land on her feet in a woozy stumble just in front of her attacker. While Scarlett was preoccupied with trying to determine whether or not her head was still attached properly, Jen stepped in, dropped low and wrapped both her arms around Scarlett’s upper thighs. With her hands knotted together just under the swell of Scarlett’s butt, Jen pushed up onto her toes, held the position for a minute and then dropped to one knee to split the fork of the blonde’s thighs with an eye-watering Inverted Atomic Drop.

Scarlett puffed out a silent scream into the Booty Queen’s face or at least she would have if Jen hadn’t already bounded for the ropes. Making sure she was headed for one of the friendly sides of the squared circle, Jennifer bounced off the cables and came roaring back at her crotch-cradling opponent. As the yards between them shrank to feet, J-Lo left her feet in a high leap, whirled around in midair and THWAP planted the wide expanse of her vaunted ass in Scarlett’s exposed face with a brutal Running Butt Smash.

Offering her fans a regal pose as Scarlett collapsed onto her back, the Latina Supreme licked her lips and said, “This next move won’t win me the match, but it’ll help get your ugly, unworthy little face ready for the REAL Smother when the time comes.”

Bending down, she grabbed Scarlett’s ankles and pulled her to the middle of the ring. With the blonde well out of reach of the ropes or her intruding slut friends, Jen straddled her waist so that she was facing Scarlett’s feet. Leaning forward until she was laying on the erratically protesting blonde, Jennifer slowly shifted back until she was able to close both thick thighs around Scarlett’s head. Locking her ankles, the brunette planted her hands flat on the canvas on either side of Scarlett’s hips and pushed up to add even more pressure to the Reverse Headscissors.

Glancing over her shoulder, Jen noticed that Scarlett’s face was soon going to match her namesake and that thought filled her with joy. Wiggling her butt back and forth under the disgusted girl’s chin, Jennifer’s lethal gams quivered with the power of her scissors as she sneered, “Go ahead and kiss my ass Scarlett, it’s right there in front of you! The match won’t be over, but at least you’ll have had some practice before I make you do it for real! Now give it a try before I lose my patience!”

She fitted her calves behind the struggling blonde’s head and curled them forward to force Scarlett’s face even closer to her looming derriere. For her part, Scarlett had vowed to herself that she’d never be forced to do something so humbling as place her lips to Jennifer’s ass, but if she didn’t so something soon, her nose might do it instead and that might be worse.

Forgetting everything she knew about technical wrestling for a moment, the blonde reached up with both hands, took hold of Jen’s waistband and instantly turned the relatively modest briefs into an almost non-existent thong. Scarlett’s reprisal Wedgie popped J-Lo’s legs open at once, but Scarlett didn’t immediately push her attacker away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around the brunette’s waist and rolled hard to her left. Seconds later, their positions were reversed and THEN Scarlett was scooting back, shifting her position up so that she could more effectively apply the Reverse Breast Smother for a second time.

Thrusting her Weapons of Mass Obstruction down into Jennifer’s startled countenance, Scarlett panted, “Give the girls a kiss fat ass, they missed you.”

Unwilling to acknowledge just how neatly Scarlett had been able to turn the tables, J-Lo didn’t bother trying to taunt or even scream. Instead she just opened her mouth a little, filled her maw with the blonde’s pliant flesh and BIT down! Scarlett screamed bloody murder and released her hold at once. Shaking off the first signs of Jugg-Shock, Jennifer shoved off the mat and lunged after the retreating blonde. Barreling her way through Scarlett’s defenses, Jen buried a shoulder in the smaller woman’s solar plexus and easily muscled her up onto her shoulders in Fireman’s Carry.

Feeling more in control of the situation with the blonde squirming on her shoulders, Jen made a sauntering circuit of the squared circle before she announced, “SHE’S GOIN’ AROUND THE BLOCKUNNNGHHH!

Scarlett’s knee, cut off Jen’s proclamation with a short, sharp Strike to the brunette’s temple. Jen staggered but didn’t release her, so Scarlett pistoned the Knee forward again and again and again. After five direct hits, Scarlett was able to worm free of the Fireman’s Carry and slid down Jennifer’s back to land behind her. Knowing she didn’t have much time before the brunette regained her senses, Scarlett applied a Half Nelson to J-Lo’s right arm; using her left hand to capture the brunette’s right wrist and pull it across Jennifer’s throat to lock in the Cobra Clutch: the basis for much of her offense.

Not bothering to cinch back on the hold, Scarlett bridged up and back, dropping the dazed Latina Supreme on the crown of her head and shoulders with a neck-snapping Cobra Clutch Suplex. Resting on her knees, Scarlett glared over at the LAS (who’d grown moodily silent as the blonde administered her throw) and snarled, “Any of you cunts want some of that?”

When they just bared their teeth at her, Scarlett took Jen by the hair and dragged her to her feet. Switching her grip to the Latina Supreme’s wrist, Scarlett pointed her into the most convenient corner and hurled her away. Moments after J-Lo had slammed home against the buckles, Scarlett took off after her and when she passed the point of no return, the curvy blonde left her feet and SLAM dropped her full weight onto Jennifer’s abused frame with an Avalanche Splash.

Using the last bit of her momentum to mash Jen’s breasts with her own, Scarlett blew a hot breeze into her brunette’s face and said, “You’re looking a little pale Jennifer. I think I know what’ll bring the color back to your cheeks.”

Cradling J-Lo’s head in her arms, Scarlett lowered the Booty Queen’s face into her cleavage just as she was backing out of the corner. When Scarlett got the jugg-to-face seal on this time, Jennifer’s arms wind-milled wildly and the DI girls jeered uproariously as the ex-champ was once again subjected to Scarlett’s domineering curves. Jerking J-Lo’s screaming face back and forth against her rack, Scarlett noted, “Ya know Jen, if I didn’t like this so much, I might have to start charging you… rent.”

‘Rent’ was still hanging in the air when Jennifer’s arms found their purpose and locked around Scarlett’s hips. Digging her boots into the mat, Jennifer plowed forward again, but this time she led Scarlett to the ropes instead of a corner. The ropes were fine though, they meant sanctuary and as Jen grabbed a hold of them, she wasted no time in shouting a muffled something that was probably ‘BREAK!’

Treating her rival to all the extra jugg she could, Scarlett released the Front Sleeper on the count of ‘FOUR’ but she did not release her death-grip on the brunette’s hair. Pulling Jennifer close, she sneered, “Did you want to get to the ropes fat ass? Well here they are, I hope they were worth the trouble.”

Stunning the brunette with a Knee Lift to the belly, Scarlett stepped aside and forced Jennifer to step through the cables onto the apron. Forcing the LAS leader to face her followers, Scarlett looped one arm across Jennifer’s neck as she said, “I’m gonna knock this tub of lard off the apron in a second, I guess it’s up to you whether to catch her or not.”

Fulfilling her promise, Scarlett lifted her free arm, held it aloft for a moment and then brought it WHAPP across the top of Jennifer’s breasts. The cudgeling shot sent a shudder thru the Booty Queen’s legs and she went tumbling off the apron. Luckily for her, Sofia and Mayra caught her before she could SPLAT against the thin blue mats.

Smirking prettily as Vergara and Veronica set their leader’s feet on the ground, Scarlett called, “Excuse me, I seem to have dropped some garbage out there. Would you mind throwing it back in the ring for me?”

Mayra ignored the blonde, but Sofia looked up with murder in her eyes and sneered, “You’re mine bitch.”

Scarlett just rolled her eyes and stepped back as a rumpled, but otherwise healthy looking Jennifer Jen hopped up onto the apron and climbed back into the ring. She had only made it about halfway through the ropes when Scarlett charged forward and stapled another one of those vile Knee Lifts to her forehead. J-Lo grunted, then sagged against the cables, but Scarlett wouldn’t let her off that easy and she proved it by grabbing a double handful of the brunette’s hair and dragging her into center ring. Knocking Jen up on her toes with another well placed Knee Lift to the forehead, Scarlett whirled around behind her and applied the Half Nelson that began the Cobra Clutch.

She had just pulled the Latina Supreme’s arm tight across her own windpipe when she stopped to ask, “How inspirational do you think you’ll be in a hospital bed. Personally, I wouldn’t put it past one of your hench bitches to smother you out in your bed - but knowing them; they’d probably use their ass instead of a…

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH!” Scarlett was going to say ‘pillow’ but it came out an anguished scream because Jennifer snapped her left heel up and back to crush the mound between the blonde’s thighs with a pelvis-shattering Back Heel Low Blow.

Pulling away from the suddenly rusty grip of her blonde tormentor, Jennifer spun around grabbed Scarlett by the sides of her head and cooed, “It’s gonna take a lot more than a nothin’ like you to put me in the hospital honey. And since you seem so eager to make fun of my girls, I think you need some time to get acquainted with them.” Turning her head towards the other LAS’ers, Jen asked loudly, “You ladies wanna bitch to play with?”

Acquiescing to the cheers and whoops of her stablemates, Jennifer sprinted forward with Scarlett in tow and TOSSED the blonde over the top rope where she landed with a dull, wet, SPLAT between the four eagerly waiting vixens. Wanting to make sure they had enough time to hurt the arrogant blonde before her girlfriends came running, Sofia turned to the others and said, “Mayra and I will block them off at either end, Shakira, Vida, do what you want to the slut, but make it fast, hon!!”

Breaking apart in one well timed movement, Vergara and Veronica raced to intercept the incoming DI girls (who had already split into groups of two and charged around from either side) while Shakira and Guerra scraped Scarlett off the mat and went to work.

Forcing the blonde’s head between her thighs, Vida wrapped her arms around Scarlett’s waist and hoisted her captive up so that the small of her back was resting awkwardly against the point of her shoulder. With her hands knotted tightly under Scarlett’s breasts, Vida waited patiently as Shakira bounded away, turned on a dime and came sprinting back towards the helpless beauty. As the high-flying blonde luchadora was coming up behind Vida and Scarlett, she left her feet in a High Leap, and as she soared by Scarlett’s defenseless head, she reached out and grabbed the American’s chin. The second Guerra saw Shakira’s hands in place, she rose up on her toes and tossed Scarlett forward. The result saw the DI member nearly folded in half against the mat compliments of the Powerbomb / Reverse Neckbreaker combo she and Shakira dubbed ‘La Tortura.’

Just as they were beginning to celebrate a successful application, a mellow, slightly bored voice from behind them said, “I’d get her back in the ring if I were you, your sisters’ defenses seem to be failing.”

Sparing a split second to glance over her shoulder and identify Monica Bellucci, Vida grumbled, “Shut up.” then quickly pulled Scarlett to her feet. Much as Guerra hated to admit it, the big brunette was right; Mayra and Sofia had managed to occupy Brittany and Elisha, but Natalie Dormer and that fucking giant Adrienne Palicki were charging towards their fallen comrade.

Muscling Scarlett under the bottom rope, Vida had enough time to mutter, “She’s all yours boss.” before she and Shakira collided with the incoming blondes.

Back in the ring, the ref was busy trying to break up the skirmish on the outside and Jennifer was busy trying to break up Scarlett’s skull. Reeling in the wounded blonde, J-Lo stepped forward and clamped Scarlett’s skull between her thighs with a Standing Headscissors.

Brushing Scarlett’s hands aside, J-Lo clamped the Scissors as tight as she could and took special care to grind her thighs against Scarlett’s ears. Rubbing her crotch against the back of Scarlett’s neck, Jennifer reached down and clawed at her victim’s ivory hips. Remembering how Scarlett had fought out of her earlier Scissors, Jenny repaid the favor by reaching down and splitting her foe’s butt with another eye-watering wedgie. Jerking the stretchy material back and forth, Jennifer asked, “Anything to say about my girls now? Do ya Scarlett? C’mon bitch, I wanna hear something witty.”

But Scarlett just groaned, Jen dipped her knees and executed a short hop, jamming Scarlett’s neck with a uniquely modified Neckbreaker. The power of the maneuver dropped Scarlett to her knees and Jen was feeling charitable, so she dropped to her knees too. Unfortunately, her charity ended there as she quickly folded Scarlett’s arms up against her back in a painful Double Hammerlock. Holding the blonde’s wrists tightly, Jennifer leaaaned back as far as she could, forcing as much of her weight against Scarlett’s head as possible, even while she was threatening to dislocate the howling grappler’s shoulders.

After several limb-testing tugs, Jennifer eased the pressure and rubbed her ass back and forth across Scarlett’s head in a haughty buffing motion. Smiling wickedly, Jennifer asked, “You think you’re ready for a little ass kissing Scarlett?”

Wiggling helplessly in the embarrassing hold, Scarlett growled, “The only contact I’m gonna have with your ass is when I stick my boot in it!”

Offering up a disdainful sigh, Jen chided, “Wow, I’ve never heard that before. Still, if you’re feeling up to it...”

She released the Hammerlocks, raised her hands and brought them down SMACK on Scarlett’s ass. As the blonde jittered and tried to pull free, Jen got to her feet and hauled Scarlett along for the ride. Positioning herself behind the smaller girl, Jennifer circled an arm around Scarlett’s waist while she used the other to grip Scarlett behind the knees. Grips in place, the Booty Queen spat, “I know you don’t have the guts to try it, but just IN CASE you were thinking about being clever, this oughta keep you from putting your ass anywhere it doesn’t belong.”

Then Jen hoisted Scarlett off her feet and into the air, holding the curvy blonde almost directly overhead. Happily noting the frantic kicking of Scarlett’s legs, not to mention the nearly unobstructed view of her butt, Jennifer spun in a slow circle before suddenly dropping to one knee to spike the point of Scarlett’s tailbone directly into her thinly padded knee. The Spinning Atomic Drop sent a lighting bolt of anguish up and down Scarlett’s spine as her hands flew to her abused rump. She managed to limp a few steps before collapsing on all fours. Having slowed the match to a pace she preferred, J-Lo put her hands on her hips and strutted forward until she was straddling the small of Scarlett’s back.

Inciting her fans with a tawdry hip wiggle, Jennifer sighed, “All this fighting and me with no place to sit down. Oh well, I guess this bitch is better than nothing.”

The brunette simply pulled her legs out from under her and dropped down with the full weight of her ass taking Scarlett off her hands and knees and driving her face-first into the mat below. Figuring it was finally time to put this poser to bed, Jennifer shifted her weight and rolled Scarlett over onto her belly. Crawling forward, the Booty Queen straddled Scarlett’s face for a moment, then spun around in a half circle so that she was facing the blonde’s feet. Taking a moment to pin Scarlett’s arms with her shins, Jennifer let the Damocles Sword of her ass hang over the blonde’s pallid features as she taunted, “AM I going to sit on your face? Yes, of course I am. But the question is WHEN am I going to sit on your face. Could be later today, could be tomorrow, could be right NOW!”

She sat down hard and grinned majestically as Scarlett’s face was engulfed by her favorite weapon. Treating Scarlett’s shrieking face to a sultry, South Beach inspired mambo, Jennifer let out a deep breath and said, “I got news for you honey. Ass sweat is nastier than tit sweat. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Refusing to give her brunette tormentor the satisfaction of a muffled reply, Scarlett steadied her nerves as best she could and tried to bridge out of the Smother. It was doubtful this would have worked under the best conditions and these certainly weren’t ideal as Jen quickly proved by slamming a trio of punches into the blonde’s belly.

Increasing the pressure of her facial lap dance a little more, Jen shook her head ‘no’ and cooed, “I don’t think so Scarlett. You don’t leave until I feel those pouty lips on my cheEEEEKKKKKKGGGGHHH!”

Scarlett’s first attempt to escape the Reverse Face Sit hadn’t worked, but it HAD allowed her enough time to wrench her arms free of the brunette’s shins and before Jennifer recognized the change in her position, Scarlett grabbed the Booty Queen’s waistband and returned the hateful Wedgie they’d been exchanging all night.

Wincing as her own attire was used against her, Jennifer was forced to relinquish her throne in order to halt Scarlett’s vicious counter. Pushing to one knee, she fired a single punch into the blonde’s paunch and when Scarlett’s claws lost their purchase, Jenny got to her feet and staggered away. Gingerly correcting the position of her bottoms, Jen whirled around to face her breathless adversary and was pleased to note that Scarlett had barely made it off her hands and knees. Charging forward, Jennifer let loose with a shrill, angry scream and THWACK slammed a short, brutal, Kick to the blonde’s cheek.

Scarlett went down in a groaning pile and the Latina Supreme growled, “That is the LAST time you’ll touch my briefs....” she paused to consider this statement, then amended, “... with your hands anyway.”

Getting nothing banter-worthy from Scarlett, Jennifer pulled the smaller woman to her feet, spun around behind her and wrapped her up for another Atomic Drop. Securing a firm grip in Scarlett’s waist and right knee, Jen liiiifffted Scarlett in the air, took several strutting steps, then dropped her tailbone-first onto the smooth, solid, expanse of her knee. Scarlett sobbed and shivered uncontrollably, but J-Lo didn’t release her hold. Instead, she murmured, “Too bad you put all the silicone in your tits, it might have made the next few minutes a little more bearable.”

Having made her opinion known, Jen took a deep breath, straightened up and started walking forward again, but this time, she didn’t drop the blonde across her knee. Oh, no! Scarlett’s destination was the top turnbuckle, a place where the Booty Queen deposited her with no problem. As Scarlett slumped over facing the audience, Jennifer laced her fingers together and slowly cracked her knuckles. Rubbing her palms together, the brunette smiled malevolently and cooed, “You like pulling on tights honey? Lemme show you how they do it in South Beach.”

Commencing with her regional catfighting practices demonstration, Jennifer reached out with both hands, daintily hooked the waistband of Scarlett’s black bottoms and pulled them down just enough to give the crowd a nice ‘butt cleavage’ shot from the trapped grappler. Just as the crowd started to voice their approval Jen added Scarlett’s voice to the mix by RIPPING the captured togs up in a hard Wedgie that almost sawed Scarlett in half!

Scarlett screamed piteously, but given her poor position, there was nothing she could do except sit there and try to endure the pain. If she tried to reach back with either hand, Jen just took a step back and pulled even harder. And she obviously couldn’t pull forward as that would only exacerbate her agony and she couldn’t lean back without falling on the top of her head. Blushing with pain and humiliation, her fury only deepened when Jen pulled up even harder on her briefs and teased, “Dance puppet dance!”

The howling blonde was about to tell the Latina Supreme about all the terrible things she was going to her when she got free, but the ref interrupted her by counting off ‘ONE!’

Scarlett almost blubbered with relief. Normally she had nothing but contempt for the zebras, but if this dope could make Jennifer let go of her briefs, she’d buy him dinner later on. Scowling at the official, Jennifer continued to tug on her makeshift handle until ‘FOUR’ before finally releasing her grip.

Treating Scarlett’s trembling glutes to a brusque little SLAP, Jenny giggled and said, “I’m not through with you yet baby. There’s the small matter of you confessing your part in the July Fourth debacle. But we’ll get to that soon enough, first, we’ve got to have a little more fun.”

Chasing the ref off with a snarl, Jen turned her back to Scarlett and reached her arms up so that she could grab hold of the blonde’s armpits. Lifting her arms as high as they could go, the Latina Supreme pulled Scarlett out of her perch, held her in that prone T a few moments, then took three giant steps forward and tossed Scarlett into the shadows of the opposite corner with a Crucifix Bomb that shook the ring.

Pausing to acknowledge the myriad ‘Booty Queen’ cheers that had broken out all over the audience, Jen quickly returned her attention to Scarlett and her dark eyes lit up when she saw that the blonde had crawled into a sitting position with her head resting against the bottom turnbuckle. Already feeling the thudding impact of Scarlett’s face against her ass, Jen backed into the corner she’d recently evicted Scarlett from, sank into a anticipatory crouch and sighed, “Oh, this is just TOO perfect.”

Sadly, this turned out to be truer than she’d imagined. Right as the Latina Supreme was getting ready to take off, a pair of intruding hands reached in from either side of the ring-post, hooked her ankles and YANKED her feet out from underneath her. The callipygian brunette went down on chin and chest with a loud THUPP but her problems didn’t end there!

From behind her, Elisha Cuthbert sneered, “You wanna let your fat ass goon squad do your dirty work for ya J-Blo? Well we can play that game too!”

Elisha nodded to Natalie Dormer and the two blondes pulled back as hard as they could, an action that resulted in the squirming vixen being dragged crotch-first into the unforgiving steel with a dull but merciless little THUNK.

If there was a silver lining in all of this it was that J-Lo’s followers were already racing toward the ring and Cuthbert and Dormer were only able to execute one groin-splitting impact before the two factions were battling tooth and nail on the floor outside of the ring.

Scarlett saw the skirmish raging outside, but even more importantly, saw the ref was distracted and Jennifer incapacitated. Using this convergence of vectors to her advantage, Scarlett fought off her own building weariness, clawed her way to her feet and stalked across the ring. Burying her hands in Jen’s dark mane, Scarlett pulled the wobbly Booty Queen to her feet and led her into the center of the ring. Holding Jen by the head, Scarlett leaned in close and whispered, “This is for the wedgie!”

There was a blur of motion and then Jen was wailing in anguish as Scarlett jammed a lightning-fast trio of Knee Lifts in the taller woman’s center. Catching the brunette’s spaghetti-legged deadweight, Scarlett wrapped her right arm over Jennifer’s left shoulder while her left arm snaked under Jen’s right armpit so she could lock her hands when they met between the brunette’s shoulders.

Pulling the Latina Supreme in close, Scarlett made sure J-Lo’s chin was resting snugly against her shoulder before she left her feet in a short hop and tucked her legs up under her. The trip back to the mat wasn’t bad on Scarlett, after all, she was wearing kneepads. But Jennifer’s jaw was driven full force into the point of the blonde’s shoulder and the Booty Queen certainly wasn’t wearing a chin-guard. Upon landing, Scarlett unclasped her hands and Jen immediately rose up on her toes, held the position for a moment, then dropped to the canvas flat on her back. Staying on the mat, Scarlett crawled forward, straddled the brunette’s waist and slithered up her curvy frame so that she could sit comfortably on Jennifer’s chest.

Grinding her own thick backside against J-Lo’s equally underappreciated décolletage, “You know Jennifer, I wasn’t aware of this before tonight, but you have exceptionally pointy and jagged features. And as much as I’ve liked smothering you so far, I think your face needs some tenderizing before it gets anymore tit sweat on it. So....”

Jennifer’s eyes had just started to clear and that was what Scarlett had been waiting for. Striking with viper-speed, Scarlett reached out with her right hand, spread it wide and clamped it down TIGHT across the Latina’s face to apply the Iron Claw. Jen’s struggles had just barely started when the blonde sealed the deal by gripping her clawing wrist with her left hand and pushing down even harder. Digging the steel tines of her fingers into the brunette’s temples and forehead, Scarlett promised, “I’m going to crack your head like an egg you showboating slut. And after I’ve cracked it open, I’ll scramble the goo that comes out on the hottest rack this world has ever seen.” She finished by wiggling her fingers, a slight movement that brought another pained wail from her captured opponent.

Suffering under the near blinding pain of Scarlett’s Iron Claw, Jennifer hated to admit that she was in serious trouble. If she didn’t get out of this soon she wouldn’t have any strength left to fight back when Scarlett tried the Breast Smother again. Unable to accept the possibility of defeat, the pinned brunette pried her hands away from Scarlett’s immovable wrists and instead settled into the blonde’s thick locks. Grabbing onto as much as she possibly could, Jen roared her fury and TWISTED hard to the left.

It wasn’t enough to break the Claw, or even weaken it, but if did reverse their positions which meant Jen could get her feet under her. Wasting no time in doing so, J-Lo forced Scarlett to rise along with her and it did the Latina Supreme’s heart good to hear frustration in Scarlett’s voice when she growled, “You should’ve stayed down fat ass.”

Yanking and tearing at the blonde’s grip again, Jen panted, “When my fat ass goes down, it’ll be because I’m landing on your...”

Scarlett interrupted her, screaming, “GET THAT FUCKIN’ BITCH OFFA THE APRON!” (presumably at the official.)

When the ref turned to catch the guilty party in the act, it gave Scarlett all the time she needed to draw back her right leg and BURY a vicious Toe Kick in the Booty Queen’s trunks!

“AAARRRRGHH…” Jennifer let out a watery, wavery shriek and even her world-class gams weren’t strong enough to withstand such a blow. She had already collapsed to her knees when the ref turned back to the action. By then, Scarlett had reset her footing and released the torturous Claw Hold. Pulling the kneeling beauty forward into a Standing Headscissors Scarlett took Jenny’s battle-rumpled briefs and continued the wedgie-war they’d been waging all night.

Swinging Jen’s powerful hips back and forth via her new handle, Scarlett sneered, “We could keep this up all night Jennifer, but I have a feeling you’re about to CRACK!”

She yanked up hard enough to lift J-Lo’s feet off the mat. Once she had the brunette high enough, Scarlett sat out and drilled Jennifer’s head into the canvas with the Pulling Piledriver she loved so very much. Shoving the Booty Queen over onto her back, Scarlett straddled her waist again and gently dabbed her index finger in a thin trickle of saliva leaking from the corner of Jen’s mouth. After inspecting the gleaming stuff, she wiped it on the brunette’s cheek and said, “Oh look; there’s the goo I was waiting for. Guess that means you’re ready for more jugg.”

Treating J-Lo to another double serving of Vitamin J, Scarlett pulled the Latina Supreme’s upper body off the mat, wrapped her arms around Jen’s head and pulled her face in deep. Leaning her cheek on J-Lo’s, Scarlett snugged the Front Sleeper tight and whispered, “T trumps A bitch; every day of the week! I’m honored that I was the one chosen to teach you this valuable lessUNNNNNNNNGGHH!”

Jennifer bit down on the intruding flesh again and this time she didn’t let go when Scarlett pulled away. She hung on like a pit-bull, shaking and jerking her head from side-to-side as she did her best to rip off one of Scarlett’s Twin Cannons. Roaring in pained surprise, Scarlett got her feet with J-Lo tenaciously hanging on. Wanting nothing more than to extinguish the cruel fire on her chest, the blonde balled up both hands and SMACK, pounded them on J-Lo’s forehead until her jaws opened.

Unaware for a moment she was free, Jennifer staggered around in a drunken lurch and made it about five steps before Scarlett barreled after her, went low and tore the Booty Queen’s right leg out from under her with a sadistically simple Chop Block. Her energy renewed by hate, Scarlett scrambled to her feet, sank her hands in Jennifer’s hair and scraped her off the mat. Leading the Latina Supreme over to a friendly edge of the ring, Scarlett muscled her against the ropes and stretched the brunette’s arms across the top cable. Leaning against Jennifer to keep her pinned in place, the blonde took the middle rope, pulled it up and snapped it over Jennifer’s arms, trapping her in place.

Tracing her hands down the brunette’s shoulders to the swell of her breasts, Scarlett palmed Jennifer’s rack and hissed, “You’re gonna learn to keep your hands off my tits if it’s the last thing I do.”

Pulling against her bonds, Jen sneered, “Claw all you want slut, it can’t win you the match.”

Fixing her prey with an evil smile, Scarlett replied, “You’ll wish it could.”

Jen was still processing the threat when Scarlett DUG in her talons and proceeded to give the brunette a crash course on the hallowed art of Breast Mauling. It started with ‘Introduction To Clawing 101’ but quickly moved to ‘Intermediate Pinching,’ then ‘Advanced Slapping’ before reaching the post-graduate study of ‘Tweaking.’

In a span of mere minutes, Jen learned all there was to know about subJUGGation - it was only sheer luck that Scarlett decided to take a break before her newest pupil was rendered unconscious by her course-load. Flexing her fingers to ease the ache, Scarlett pressed in close to Jen, leaned over the Latina Supreme’s shoulder and asked Elisha, “You think it’s time to finish this bitch ‘Lishy?”

Cuthbert shrugged and said, “If she can still scream, she can still fight, but I have to admit she’s looking pretty pathetic.”

Scarlett laughed. “Good poinTTTUUNNNNGHHH!” Jennifer rammed her left knee up into the blonde’s paunch and then pushed off, forcing her tormentor to stumble back on unsteady legs. Quickly recovering from the desperation attack, Scarlett’s eyes narrowed on J-Lo and said, “She’s right Jen, you HAVEN’T suffered enough.”

Scarlett raised her hands in anticipation of continuing Jennifer’s education only to have Latina Supreme rip free of the cables and bury a shoulder in her gut. Even as the air was rushing out of her, Scarlett was bulled back into the middle of the ring and muscled up onto the taller woman’s shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry.

For once in her career, Jennifer seemed incapable of finding the words that adequately expressed her fury, so she settled for letting the shattered remains of Scarlett’s skull speak for her. Thusly, she looped the arm nearest Scarlett’s head across the back of the Scarlett’s neck and cinched down tight. Maintaining her silence, the LAS leader took several loping steps forward then used her free arm to shove the blonde’s thighs up and off her shoulders, sending Scarlett’s torso and legs sailing out behind her. With Scarlett’s head still nestled in the crook of her arm, The Latina Supreme sat out hard, driving the back of her rival’s skull and neck into the canvas, with the Once Around the Block.

Normally when the move connected, J-Lo was up in a flash and calling for the Ridin’ the Six or The Smother, but tonight the combined efforts of Scarlett and the other DI sluts had drained her reserves and the brunette simply lay on her back and caught her breath as the ref began his ten count. She let him get all the way to ‘EIGHT’ before she rolled to one knee and got to her feet.

Keeping her eyes locked on the blonde, Jenny realized she was maybe a half-step ahead of Scarlett and she capitalized on this by lunging forward and trapping the ivory-skinned grappler in a loose Front Facelock. Her arm had just cinched down on the blonde’s windpipe when Jennifer dropped back to the mat, driving Scarlett face-first into the canvas with a stubby, ugly looking DDT. Aesthetics aside, the maneuver was effective and it gave the Latina Supreme several more seconds of breathing room while she thought about her next move.

Deciding that it was time she started breaking Scarlett’s body and not just her spirit, the ex-champ got to her feet, pulled Scarlett to hers and clamped down on the blonde’s wrist. Pulling her close, Jennifer purred, “By the time I’m done with you, you’re gonna be more thong than female. Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure you have a long, productive career as ass-slave to every member of the LAS.”

With Scarlett’s future career options sorted out, Jennifer stepped back and HURLED her across the ring where she CRACK, slammed back-first into the turnbuckles. The sheer velocity of the collision sent Scarlett stumbling and staggering free, but that just put her closer to Jen which allowed the brunette to bounce her off another set of buckles. As Scarlett limped back for a third taste of turnbuckle, Jennifer stepped in front of her, wrapped her arms around Scarlett’s waist and locked her hands.

Bending her knees, Jenny spat, “I don’t think your tits will look nearly so fearsome dangling off a shattered ribcage.” Interested in finding out whether this was true or not, Jen hoisted Scarlett off her feet, executed a smooth half turn and then fell to the mat, absolutely SQUASHING the voluptuous beauty beneath her with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Pushing up off the starfished grappler, Jennifer stood over Scarlett with one foot on either side of the blonde’s hips and called out, “HERE’S SOMETHING NEW FOR ALL YOU POOR SLOBS THAT MAY NOT KNOW ME!”

Spinning around to face Scarlett’s feet, Jen bent down, grabbed the blonde’s ankles and pulled them toward her. Settling onto Scarlett’s chest for a moment, J-Lo hooked her foe’s captured gams tightly under her armpits, then reached down with both hands and gripped Scarlett’s biceps. Moving as smoothly as she could, Jennifer resumed her vertical base, only now Scarlett was hanging between her thighs in an immobile U. Jennifer flashed a beaming smile at the LAS, then bent her knees and leapt into the air. It wasn’t very high, but it did allow her to tuck her calves up under her knees and if that wasn’t enough padding, Scarlett’s chest, positioned carefully under her ass was more than adequate. There was a loud THWAM as the blonde’s sternum was mashed between the canvas and her conqueror’s all encompassing rear.

Tossing Scarlett’s legs aside as the tremors from her Reverse Matchbook Slam finally subsided, Jennifer looked over her shoulder and leered down at the insensate beauty; Running her hands over her hips, Jennifer said, “A piece of advice for you honey. Next time you’re thinking about interfering in my business... BUTT OUT!”

Savoring her pun, Jennifer scooted back and lowered her glutes down onto Scarlett’s nose. When she felt the dull wedge of Scarlett’s nose slide into place, Jennifer clenched down tight and began to grind in earnest. Applying a bit of what she’d learned in Scarlett’s classroom, Jen took hold of Scarlett’s breasts and added a vicious, kneading Claw to the mix.

Trying to match the intensity and tempo of her thrusts to the timbre of Scarlett’s muffled screams, Jennifer taunted, “How’s that taste baby? Just tap one of your piggy little hooves against my ass and I’ll make sure this ends in oh.... a half hour or so!”

Trapped under the implacable, crushing weight of Jen’s rear, Scarlett couldn’t hear Jennifer’s demand, but she could hear the blood pounding in her ears and that meant she didn’t have much time left. Squirming and writhing, she soon realized there was no way to get her hands free, but when Jen shifted her weight, she WAS able to tilt her head to the side. When Jen pressed down again, Scarlett treated Jen to a taste of her own medicine and bit a chunk out of the brunette’s butt. The darkness impeding her view remained for another few seconds and then it vanished as a snarling Jennifer scrambled to her feet and hurried away.

Massaging the pain of the blonde’s bite from her haunches, J-Lo said, “That was your last FUCKING gasp cunt!” Looming over the ruined blonde, Jen hauled Scarlett up and scooped her onto her shoulder. Walking her foe towards the nearest corner, Jen SLAMMED Scarlett to the canvas, leaving her in perfect position for all manner of treachery off the top rope. Grinding the heel of her boot against the blonde’s erratically rising chest, Jennifer whispered, “Gonna collapse your lungs now honey.”

Turning her back on her foe, Jennifer stalked to the corner and began to climb. The Latina Supreme had just made it to the top turnbuckle and was still facing the audience when her followers cried out in alarm. Eyes going wide, Jennifer shot a look over her shoulder and that’s when Scarlett SHOVED the brunette’s legs out from under her. Dropping like a rock, Jen slammed butt-first into the top buckle and sagged forward in a stunned little slump. She would have been perfectly happy to sit there and recuperate for several minutes, but Scarlett was going to allow her no such luxury.

Within seconds, the vindictive blonde had grabbed J-Lo by the shoulder-straps of her top and pulled the trapped beauty backward, stretching her parallel to the canvas even though she was still firmly seated in the corner. Breathing hard, Scarlett chided, “My last gasp huh fat ass? I think you meant to say, it’s the last gasp that you’ll be awake to hear...”

Scarlett slowly and carefully applied the Half Nelson to Jennifer’s right arm and just as carefully grabbed the brunette’s left wrist and tugged it across her throat. Reefing back on the Cobra Clutch just hard enough to keep Jen from wriggling free, Scarlett bent her knees, then lifted up fast and took three giant steps backward. The sudden movement was strong enough to yank Jen out of the corner and the instant the blonde saw that her opponent was clear of the buckles, she dropped to the canvas, landing on her belly while J-Lo landed hard on the back of her head and shoulders compliments of the Cobra Clutch Slam.

The crowd (not to mention the rest of Destruction Incorporated) screamed their approval and many began calling ‘JMD, JMD!’ urging Scarlett to finish the Booty Queen for good, but Scarlett wasn’t quite ready yet. Jennifer had already escaped the Breast Smother, so she wanted to make sure the stubborn brunette was TOTALLY used up before she got another dose of Scarlett’s favorite sedative. Clinching down even harder on the Cobra Clutch after the slam connected, the blonde purred, “We’re not done yet bitch.” then rolled to one knee and pushed to her feet with Jennifer still wriggling in her grasp.

Standing behind and just slightly to J-Lo’s right, Scarlett took off toward the DI side of the ring, leapt into the air and soared almost all the way to the edge of the ring before she came down on her butt and Jennifer came down flat on her face as the newest and quite possibly most high profile victim of ‘Red Sky at Morning.’

At this point, Scarlett would usually plant her feet and bridge up to apply the Cobra Stretch for the win, but as much as she liked the move, there was another she liked even better and it was the only one that would win her the match. Dutifully releasing the Clutch, Scarlett got to her knees and rolled Jennifer over onto her belly. Straddling the Latina Supreme’s waist, Scarlett put her hands on Jennifer’s chest and gave her breasts a rude squeeze.

When Jen groaned, Scarlett smiled and slipped her shins against the brunette’s to begin the Double Leg Grapevine. Still kneading her foe’s rack, Scarlett said, “I’m sure these people would LOVE to see you take an unobstructed Breast Smother, but ya know what....” She moved her hands from Jen’s chest to her wrists and pinned them high over her head. Leaning down until she was almost nose-to-nose with her rival, she finished, “... they haven’t earned the right. And neither have you.”

Relishing the tiny moan that escaped Jennifer’s lips, Scarlett shifted up and quickly brought the full weight of her copious cleavage against Jen’s face. As the blonde’s assets cut off her breathing, Jennifer tensed up and tried to squirm free, but Scarlett squirmed right along with her and all the brunette managed to do was smear the blonde’s sweat all over her face. Exhaling a contented sigh as she felt Jennifer’s lips and nose mashing against her thinly veiled bounty over and over again, Scarlett flipped hair out of her face and whispered, “That nasty ass isn’t doing you much good now is it slut?”

Jennifer couldn’t hear her opponent’s snide query, but if she had been able, she’d have to admit that the blonde was right. Jennifer had been in some tight spots, both literally and figuratively during the course of her career, but she’d never once experienced a Jugg Smother so all-consuming and it frightened her more than she’d ever let on. Feeling her limbs turn to lead under the smothering weight of Scarlett’s heavy ordinance, Jennifer focused all her attention on breaking a hand free of Scarlett’s grip and after several seconds of futile struggling she was able to wrench her left hand loose of the blonde’s Claw.

Flailing her liberated arm in hopes of getting a hold of Scarlett’s hair, Jen’s finger brushed something that was just within reach and when she realized it was the bottom rope, she nearly hyper-extended her shoulder to grab the minutely swaying cable. Knowing she was free, J-Lo cackled something that might have been ‘BREAK!’ into the blonde’s breasts and four long seconds later, she was able to draw a deep breath into her lungs.

Watching their leader escape the perils of Scarlett’s décolletage should have been a joyous occasion for the ladies of the LAS and indeed they did cheer Jenny when she grabbed the ropes, but those cheers soon turned to snarls and pleas as Scarlett quickly got to her feet, hooked J-Lo’s ankles and draaaged her into the center of the ring. Standing with one of J-Lo’s ankles in either hand, Scarlett growled, “I’m going to break you in half, THEN I’ll smother you out. Might not be fair, but I don’t really give a shit at the moment.”

Beginning her latest test of Jen’s limits, she spread the limbs into the 45-degree angle that almost all wrestling fans recognized as the beginning to any number of Leg Locks. Moving swiftly, Scarlett bent Jennifer’s left leg so that the shin was behind the knee of the straightened right leg; then she tucked the Latina Supreme’s right ankle into her right armpit. Pausing for a moment, she wrapped her right arm around J-Lo’s ankle and through the gap in the brunette’s legs so she could lock her hands, creating a virtually inescapable loop.

At this point, savvy fans recognized Scarlett’s actions as the beginnings of the Texas Cloverleaf and most would expect the blonde to simply step over her victim and flip her onto her stomach to complete the hold. But a diehard fan of the calculating blonde would have known that a basic Cloverleaf was too simple for Scarlett and they’d have been right to guess that she had something different in mind.

Instead of simply sitting down on J-Lo’s back when she flipped the brunette onto her belly, Scarlett stayed facing the same direction as her victim while still keeping her legs locked in the Cloverleaf position. Kneeling right beside her opponent’s hips, Scarlett was able to apply even more pressure to Jennifer’s legs, spine and abdomen. The final result was a sort of Inverted Cloverleaf that brought a thunderous ovation from the fans and roar of agony from the Booty Queen.

Keeping her hands locked tight around J-Lo’s gams, Scarlett rocked back and forth, each forward motion bringing the soles of Jennifer’s boots a little closer to the back of her head. Holding the brunette right where she wanted her, Scarlett cranked down on the Inverted Cloverleaf just a little bit more. Now the tips of Jen’s boots were almost touching the back of her head.

Speaking in a calm, sweet voice, the blonde demanded, “Beg for mercy Jenny. Beg real loud and I promise you’ll be unconscious when I go for the Front Sleeper again.”

Growling in lunatic fury, Jennifer dug her claws into the mat, pushed up and sneered, “I’M BEGGIN’ YA TO USE SOME CHAPSTICK BEFORE YOU KISS MY ASS!” Ignoring the firestorm that was raging in her spine, the ex-champ crawled her way toward the ropes and was able to grab hold of the middle one just as Scarlett was starting to pull her back. Hanging on with both hands now, Jen howled, “GET THAT BITCH OFFA ME!”

Hissing her displeasure at the official, Scarlett tossed Jennifer’s aching legs aside and hoisted her off the mat with another scandalous Wedgie. Leading her back into the no-man’s land of center ring. Leaning against her victim’s back, Scarlett applied one last Cobra Clutch, then reared back and fell to the mat, driving Jenifer face-and-chest-first into the canvas with her Scarlett Letter Face-Plant.

Breaking her grip on the trembling brunette’s upper body, Scarlett scrambled to her knees and positioned herself at Jennifer’s feet. Easily folding the Latina Supreme’s legs up against her butt in a rough X, Scarlett slid forward and sat down hard on the crossed ankles. In position for her finisher, the blonde raised her right hand high overhead and screamed, “SCARLETT FEVEUUNNGGHHHH!”

Having seen enough of the blonde’s arsenal, Shakira slid into the ring, exploded forward and WHAM drove both boots into the side of Scarlett’s head in beautiful Low Dropkick. The simple strike sent Scarlett sprawling AND managed to turn the outside of the ring into a flurry of activity as the two factions threw caution to the wind and went after their rivals in a vicious, shrieking cacophony of female fury!

Brushing the ref aside, Shakira looked from Jennifer to the rest of her LAS sisters and said, “Hope that helped boss. I’d stay if I could, but they need me out there.”

Her words were still reaching Jen’s ears when the Colombian sensation dove through the middle rope and hurled herself into the fray. Eyes flitting between the chaos on the outside and the wounded ladies on the inside, the ref decided that the first order of business was the match itself, so as long as the others didn’t get directly involved again, they could beat each other stupid for all he cared. Stepping between the prostrate forms of Jennifer and Scarlett, he began his ten count and got all the way to ‘SEVEN’ before they rolled to their knees.

The movements of both grapplers were slow and pained, but Scarlett got to her feet a heartbeat or so before the brunette and she intended to use that advantage to end the match. Through with flash and finesse, Scarlett whispered, “Scream for me baby...” She loped forward and brought her right leg up in a wide, swooping arc intended to end at J-Lo’s groin…which is where it WOULD have had Jen not caught her ankle at the last possible second.

Holding the fuming blonde hopping on one foot, Jennifer took a deep breath, smiled tiredly and cooed, “Oh honey, are you SO going to PAY!” Before Scarlett could contradict her, Jennifer spun her opponent around in boozy half circle and as soon as Scarlett’s back was to her, Jen surged forward and caromed a murderous Lariat off the base of the blonde’s neck.

Taking a moment to observe the fracas outside (at the moment, things seemed to be about even) Jennifer said, “Make me proud ladies.” She buried her talons in Scarlett’s hair and pulled her to her knees. Keeping a tight grip on Scarlett’s sweat-drenched hair, Jen turned to her right, making sure that the point of her hip was perfectly level with the tired blonde’s face. Smacking her rump with her free hand Jen cooed, “A lot of the fans seem to think your lips are attractive Scarlett. I wonder if they’ll still think so when they go from pouty to splattered?”


Jennifer licked her hips and drove her butt into Scarlett’s face with the speed and pinpoint accuracy of a championship jab. Scarlett moaned as her head lolled back on her shoulders, but that was all she was capable of at the moment. Tugging her rival back into position, J-Lo added, “Of course, I might be willing to spare that baboon’s ass living under your nose if you’d pucker up and kiss my ass. It’s a bargain right?”

Glaring at the Booty Queen through hateful, slitted eyes, Scarlett murmured, “Screw you!”


J-Lo snapped her hips again, crossing Scarlett’s eyes with a second Callipygian Uppercut! Yanking Scarlett’s head back into place, Jennifer reached around behind her and pulled her glittery black briefs up in a self induced wedgie that was easily the most gentle of the evening. Swinging her hips in a slow circle, she teased the mob with a sultry, grinding wind-up before…


She gave Scarlett to a third flick of her hips! Holding the blonde’s face against her domineering hip, Jen treated Scarlett to a cheek-to-cheek embrace as she taunted, “My girls are about to finish off your slutty blonde friends and I’m going to start the slaughter by splitting your fuckin’ head wide open.”

Hauling Scarlett off her knees, Jennifer slipped an arm through Scarlett’s thighs and scooped her up onto her shoulder. Ignoring the cheers of the crowd, she wrapped both arms around Scarlett’s waist and wiggled the blonde into position so that her face was about level with Jen’s crotch, while the brunette’s smirking face was framed by the splayed V of Scarlett’s thighs. Having just tossed Mayra back-first into the steel steps, Elisha turned her attention to the ring and she blanched when she saw Jennifer setting up the Tombstone.

Pretty face set in a manic snarl she hissed, “Oh no you DON’T!” She slid into the ring and after popping to her feet in the blink of an eye, Elisha grabbed Jen by the shoulder and spun her around in a half circle. Sneering into J-Lo’s stunned face, Cuthbert chirped, “Hi ya fat ass!” She jabbed a thumb in the Booty Queen’s left eye.

Just as Elisha was just about to celebrate her minor triumph, she, Jen and Scarlett were all plowed into by the out-of -control duo of Adrianne Palicki and Sofia Vergara! The collision knocked all five ladies into and then through the ropes, spilling them all to the floor and leaving no one but the ref in the ring and he hardly counted anyway. It was shortly after that group landing that things went from chaotic to downright insane.

After several long seconds on the mat, Jennifer groaned and got slowly to her feet. Resting against the barricade, the Latina Supreme was just about to rejoin the battle when a slightly contemptuous voice said, “You’re putting on quite a show Jennifer. Bravo.”

Jen whirled around and found herself staring into the smiling face of Monica Bellucci. Finally reaching the end of her patience with regards to the Italian Amazon, Jen snarled, “Shut the fuck up!”

She swiped a beer from another front row fan and threw it in Monica’s face. Leering as the big brunette gaped in shock, Jen growled, “I don’t want to see your face again unless it’s on the other side of this barricade. Got me bitch?”

With that, the Latina Supreme spun away and went looking for a prime cut of Elisha Cuthbert. Choosing her words carefully, Charisma Carpenter touched Monica’s shoulder and said, “Whaddya want US to do?”

Bellucci’s answer was as concise as it was dreadful, “Hurt them.”

Turning to Jamie-Lynn, Cristina and Carmella, Charisma nodded and said, “Coats off ladies; the waiting is over.”

As one, the faction that would soon be known as The Black Hand stood up and whipped off their concealing trench coats to reveal charcoal grey bikini’s with the faintest hint of a pinstripe pattern. Pouring themselves over the barrier, Monica and her followers waded into the raging battle and the biggest Pier 6 brawl in the history of the promotion got even bigger.

What happened over the next few minutes was impossible to describe in any detail. Even Archer, for all his observational powers, had to watch the tapes more than a dozen times in the months following the show and even then he was only able to describe bits and pieces of the action. For a moment, the newly arrived brunettes imposed their will on the battle weary members of DI and the LAS, but the scrapping factions united just long enough to beat some respect into the newcomers and soon a whole handful of three-way skirmishes were littering the ringside area.

Over the din of the crowd and the snarls of the fighters, the ref was frantically calling for the bell and even though he got his wish, the factions didn’t stop fighting and no other officials came to his aid. Finally, he just sighed and resigned himself to letting the action run its course. And of course, that’s what it did. No battle, no matter how furious and energetic, can go on forever and eventually the number of vertical participants started to dwindle.

Brittany Murphy ate a Running Thump from Jennifer that nearly turned her inside out. Christina Scabbia and Shakira floored one another with Flying Crossbody Presses that hit at the exact same time. Scarlett, vicious to the bitter end, had just finished Choking out Jamie-Lynn Sigler when she turned around and walked directly into a jaw-shattering Mafia Kick from Monica. If there was a standout in all the carnage, it had to be Adrianne - Destruction Inc’s resident Amazon - who tore through Mayra Veronica, Carmella DeCesare and Vida Guerra before a Double DDT from the unlikely duo of Sofia Vergara and Charisma Carpenter dimmed her lights for the duration.

Palicki was still twitching a little when the brunettes broke away from one another and slid into the ring to join the last members of their faction. From the Latina Assault Squad it was Jennifer and Sofia. From Destruction Inc it was Elisha and Natalie and from the Black Hand, Monica and Charisma were still up and looking for a fight. Eying the other pairs wearily from different corners of the ring, the six remaining battlers were getting ready for one final clash when the speakers at top of the ramp spat a burst of static and kicked out the distinctive opening riff to 311’s ‘You Wouldn’t Believe.”

Every head in the stadium turned toward the entryway as Richard Fannin stepped into view. Microphone in hand, the promoter made the ‘cut the music’ sign and when he had silence (or at least what passed for silence in a sold out arena) he said, “Ladies, ladies, ladies... what’cha fightin’ for? Never mind, I already know the answer; some people just have a natural inclination to spoil a party and that’s you all to a tee. But a lot of people have put a lot of work into making sure this night is something special and I’m not going to let a handful of foul tempered gate-crashers ruin it for everyone else. Now, judging from the egomaniacal rants I’ve heard from you throughout the course of the evening, I gather you think you’re pretty good at surprises...”

He paused then as Elisha nodded emphatically and mouthed, “Fuckin’ A.”

Shaking his head ‘no’ Fannin continued, “Sorry Lishy, none of this shit surprises me in the least. See, ever since Neve kicked your ass to the curb back in February, I knew you would try to put together another incarnation of Destruction Inc and here they are, bigger, meaner and blonder than ever.”

He smirked a little and turned his attention to Bellucci and Carpenter. “Same goes for you Monica. When you and the rest of the noir foot soldier showed up at ringside and started giving LAS the stink eye, it was only a matter of time before you slithered over the rail and started causing real problems. Not that I mind of course, it makes for great TV, but I think you’ll regret the decision in the morning.”

Leaving the brunettes to scowl and ponder, Rich eyed Jennifer and said, “And then there’s Jen and the Latina Assault Squad. You ladies just don’t like competition do ya?” Jen just smirked, kissed her palm and slapped her ass, the message was clear enough.

Rolling his eyes, the promoter asked the audience, “So where does that leave us? It leaves this entire promotion in the middle of a turf war between three Alpha bitch types and their various followers and hangers on. Now I admit, the ensuing train wreck would be fun to watch, but I have a feeling that if it goes unchecked for very long there won’t be much of a promotion left by the time the dust settles. Seeing as how I helped build this place from nothing, I was at a crossroads of sorts... I could leave the problem of you and your turf war to my predecessors... or I could do something about it. Well it wasn’t really much of a decision. Couldn’t very well let this place burn could I? Too many good people would get hurt in the process.”

Everyone who’d been present for the start of Fannin’s speech still had their eyes riveted to the promoter, but a few that had been coming back from the concession stands or the merchandise booths were focused on getting back to their seats and it was these lucky few that saw the first wisps of smoke start drifting up from beneath the ring.

Back on the stage, Fannin was saying, “But what to do, what to do? A moment ago, I mentioned being at a crossroads and that’s a very apt metaphor because anyone who knows anything about mythology or the supernatural knows that a crossroads is where all manner of deals can be made. So about nine months ago, right after the World Title was stolen from a certain Slayer in the most ignominious of fashions in fact...” He trailed off to see how Jennifer would react, but the Latina Supreme just kept glaring daggers and neither she nor the others in the ring noticed that the wisps of smoke had woven themselves into a carpet that reached to mid-shin.

Clearing his throat, Fannin explained, “... nine months ago I went out to where the Innsmouth Road crosses the Arkham Turnpike...” another pause as the locals cheer the landmark.

“...and I made a deal with a demon. The terms of the contract were simple. I’d let this monster and her friends into the house I’d built so they could have all the fun they wanted, but ONLY SO LONG AS... they promised to keep the house from falling down. Deal thusly made, I opened the door and let them get to it. They’ve been working behind the scenes here for quite some time now, though they did make a rather public statement at the Fourth of July Party. Those of you who were there will know what I mean. Isn’t that right Jen?”

The former champion’s face went a sick, furious white as, storming to the edge of the ring, she screamed, “YOU MANIPULATIVE SON OF A BITCH! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!”

Jen’s movement finally caused the others to notice the smoke that was billowing at waist level, but despite this rather odd development, they couldn’t seem to keep their eyes off the Promoter.

“I was going to let my new friends introduce themselves on their own schedule, but your skirmish here tonight has forced my hand and that means the time for subterfuge is over.”

At his last word, every light in the arena started to flicker and flash like a strobe light that had developed a mind of its own. Almost lost in the deepening gloom now, Richard Fannin raised his free hand in an ‘I almost forgot’ sort of gesture and added, “Oh, one more thing before they get here... there’s an old saying that goes ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’ Well ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the devils I know...”

Oblivious of the smoke and flashing lights, Jennifer glared over her shoulder to Sofia and said, “Come on, we’re gonna have a little talk with that asshole.”

Vergara nodded, started to come forward and that’s when an arm reached out of the fog, grabbed her shoulder and pulled her into the murk. There was the sound of a brief struggle, followed by a dull THUD as something hit the ring, then... nothing.

Eyes going wide, Charisma muttered “What the hell was UNNNGHHHH!”

Unseen hands ripped the brunette’s legs out from under her and dragged her off into the silent grey wall.

Seemingly unperturbed at the abduction of her underling, Monica glanced to Elisha, Natalie and Jen and said, “I think prudence dictates we put our differences aside long enough to...”

A long, lean shape came hurtling out of the mist, plowed into Natalie’s midsection and bulled her away into nothingness.

Jaw gaping open, Elisha whirled around and screamed, “SHOW YOURSELF!”

The echoes were still bouncing back at her when an almost liquid blonde blur dropped down on Monica, caught the Amazon in a loose Front Facelock and YANKED her off her feet into the fog. There was another THUD and that was all Elisha needed to see.

Snarling at Jennifer, she hissed, “We’ll finish this later.” Not waiting for a reply, she spun toward the side of the ring leading toward the ramp and was immediately greeted by a pair of arms and dragged away without a word of protest.

Alone now, Jennifer calmed her nerves and turned in a slow circle. She didn’t see them during the first rotation or even the second, but halfway through the third, she discerned five vague shadows encircling her just inside the roiling walls of the mist.

Converting the gnawing fear into a searing rage, the brunette focused her eyes on the shadow directly in front of her and screamed, “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

Lips brushed against her ear and a voice she should have known whispered, “You don’t look so tough now.”

Turning in a flash, Jennifer pounced and... the party planner drove a knee directly between her thighs. The audience had a vague impression of Jennifer sinking to her knees in front of a looming black shadow for just a moment, then the shadow hooked J-Lo’s head and dropped back into the fog to DRIVE the Booty Queen’s skull into the mat with a DDT that stood her up like a tent spike before she sank into the thick grey sea.

The moment Jennifer vanished from view, the lights steadied out and the fog seemed much thinner, though J-Lo and her attackers were still lost from view. That changed when the shadows stepped forward and formed a loose ring around the spot where Jennifer had gone down. Cracking a mysterious smile, Elisabeth Harnois glanced at the others and said, “Didn’t I tell you this was going to be fun?”

Camilla Belle nodded. “It’s pretty cool being here at the very beginning. Makes a girl feel special.”

Just then Alexz Johnson chimed in with a slow, sad bit of verse. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end...”

Hands on her hips, Agnes Bruckner added “Hers, I’m guessing.” She indicated where Jennifer should have been, then said, “Aren’t you glad you took us up on the offer tiny?”

Still savoring the stunned look on Monica’s face before she’d driven it into the mat, Hayden Panettiere grinned and said, “I have to admit, it’s been one hell of a party so far.” Glancing down into the fog, Hayden called, “Boss? You still down there?”

A tall, lean form rose up like a ghost and stretched her arms wide in the vague approximation of a cross. Basking in the ear-splitting cheers from the crowd, Katie Holmes smiled, rolled her shoulders and said, “It’s good to be back.”

Before her new followers could say anything else, Holmes reached down into the rapidly receding miasma, found what she was looking for and pulled a glassy-eyed Jennifer Jen up into the light. Not even sparing the insensate Latina Supreme a second look, Katie forced her into a Standing Headscissors and wrapped her arms around the brunette’s thick waist.

Turning to Hayden, she asked, “You’ve already helped tip the scale Panettiere; are you ready to kick that fucker over?” Hayden just nodded. “Then, you know what to do.”

Indeed she did. The willowy brunette lifted Jennifer up so that the small of her back was resting against the point of her shoulder, the diminutive blonde jogged to the turnbuckle behind her leader and hopped onto the top rope. Turning to face the ring, Panettiere stayed in place for less than a second before she leapt out into the void and tucked her knees up under her chin. As gravity began to pull her down, Hayden STOMPED down with both feet and buried them in Jennifer’s midsection. And as soon as Katie felt the weight of her blonde protégé’s landing, she dropped to her knees, instantly bending Jen in an inverted U with the most hellacious modification on the Holmes Wrecker the world had yet seen. J-Lo shivered once, then Katie tossed her to the mat where she laid still.

Standing amidst this new Darkness, Katie appraised them all, then joked, “Well that was fun. Who’s for Chinese?”

Casting a wary eye over the prone form of the Booty Queen, Beth asked, “Sure we’re done here? I thought she was supposed to leave on a stretcher.”

Holmes shrugged. Let her be, we can break her another...”

A sputtering cough interrupted her, then a weak voice said, “I’m gonna... gonna fuckin.... kill... gonna fuckin’ kill you Holmes.”

Mildly impressed that Jennifer was still conscious, Katie tilted her head to the side and corrected, “Or we could break her tonight.”

Taking the task into her own hands, Holmes stalked over to J-Lo and pulled the boneless beauty to her feet. Jerking the crippled brunette in close, Katie put her lips to Jen’s ear again and whispered, “Do you know what your biggest mistake was Jenny? You assumed you were the only monster in this promotion. And when you assume, you make an... well, you of all people should know the end to that particular phrase.”

Jen might have tried to pant some sort of reply, but it was lost in the shrieks of the mob as Katie hoisted J-Lo off her feet and spun her into position for a Tombstone Piledriver. Face framed by Jen’s bronzed thighs, Katie turned to all four sides of the ring, then rose up on her toes and DROPPED down to crunch the top of the Latina Supreme’s skull against the canvas with her own finisher.

Letting Jen’s unquestionably unconscious weight fall from her grasp, Holmes looked down at her oblivious face and said, “What the hell, I’ve already gone this far.” Pushing up, she scooted forward, then sat the full weight of her own impressive backside down on J-Lo’s upturned nose. Wiggling her black briefs clad butt against Jen’s features, Katie appeared to mull the sensation for a while, then sighed a disappointed sigh.

“What’s wrong?” asked Agnes.

“She’s out cold. Not nearly as fun this way.”

“We could always come back later.” suggested Camilla.

“That would be too much kill. Poor Jenny here doesn’t even realize she’s got ass in her face and that just slows the fun way down. Make sure the photogs have gotten a couple good shots of this though, I want the office to have it blown up and sent to each member of the LAS.”


She raised her arms, the lights went out and when they came back on, all that remained was the human wreckage created by the very women charged with ‘saving’ Richard Fannin’s promotion.

Continue to ‘Last Hurrah #9’