Chasing the ref off with a snarl, Jen turned her back to Scarlett and reached her arms up so that she could grab hold of the blonde’s armpits. Lifting her arms as high as they could go, the Latina Supreme pulled Scarlett out of her perch, held her in that prone T a few moments, then took three giant steps forward and tossed Scarlett into the shadows of the opposite corner with a Crucifix Bomb that shook the ring.

Pausing to acknowledge the myriad ‘Booty Queen’ cheers that had broken out all over the audience, Jen quickly returned her attention to Scarlett and her dark eyes lit up when she saw that the blonde had crawled into a sitting position with her head resting against the bottom turnbuckle. Already feeling the thudding impact of Scarlett’s face against her ass, Jen backed into the corner she’d recently evicted Scarlett from, sank into a anticipatory crouch and sighed, “Oh, this is just TOO perfect.”

Sadly, this turned out to be truer than she’d imagined. Right as the Latina Supreme was getting ready to take off, a pair of intruding hands reached in from either side of the ring-post, hooked her ankles and YANKED her feet out from underneath her. The callipygian brunette went down on chin and chest with a loud THUPP but her problems didn’t end there!

From behind her, Elisha Cuthbert sneered, “You wanna let your fat ass goon squad do your dirty work for ya J-Blo? Well we can play that game too!”

Elisha nodded to Natalie Dormer and the two blondes pulled back as hard as they could, an action that resulted in the squirming vixen being dragged crotch-first into the unforgiving steel with a dull but merciless little THUNK.

If there was a silver lining in all of this it was that J-Lo’s followers were already racing toward the ring and Cuthbert and Dormer were only able to execute one groin-splitting impact before the two factions were battling tooth and nail on the floor outside of the ring.

Scarlett saw the skirmish raging outside, but even more importantly, saw the ref was distracted and Jennifer incapacitated. Using this convergence of vectors to her advantage, Scarlett fought off her own building weariness, clawed her way to her feet and stalked across the ring. Burying her hands in Jen’s dark mane, Scarlett pulled the wobbly Booty Queen to her feet and led her into the center of the ring. Holding Jen by the head, Scarlett leaned in close and whispered, “This is for the wedgie!”

There was a blur of motion and then Jen was wailing in anguish as Scarlett jammed a lightning-fast trio of Knee Lifts in the taller woman’s center. Catching the brunette’s spaghetti-legged deadweight, Scarlett wrapped her right arm over Jennifer’s left shoulder while her left arm snaked under Jen’s right armpit so she could lock her hands when they met between the brunette’s shoulders.

Pulling the Latina Supreme in close, Scarlett made sure J-Lo’s chin was resting snugly against her shoulder before she left her feet in a short hop and tucked her legs up under her. The trip back to the mat wasn’t bad on Scarlett, after all, she was wearing kneepads. But Jennifer’s jaw was driven full force into the point of the blonde’s shoulder and the Booty Queen certainly wasn’t wearing a chin-guard. Upon landing, Scarlett unclasped her hands and Jen immediately rose up on her toes, held the position for a moment, then dropped to the canvas flat on her back. Staying on the mat, Scarlett crawled forward, straddled the brunette’s waist and slithered up her curvy frame so that she could sit comfortably on Jennifer’s chest.

Grinding her own thick backside against J-Lo’s equally underappreciated décolletage, “You know Jennifer, I wasn’t aware of this before tonight, but you have exceptionally pointy and jagged features. And as much as I’ve liked smothering you so far, I think your face needs some tenderizing before it gets anymore tit sweat on it. So....”

Jennifer’s eyes had just started to clear and that was what Scarlett had been waiting for. Striking with viper-speed, Scarlett reached out with her right hand, spread it wide and clamped it down TIGHT across the Latina’s face to apply the Iron Claw. Jen’s struggles had just barely started when the blonde sealed the deal by gripping her clawing wrist with her left hand and pushing down even harder. Digging the steel tines of her fingers into the brunette’s temples and forehead, Scarlett promised, “I’m going to crack your head like an egg you showboating slut. And after I’ve cracked it open, I’ll scramble the goo that comes out on the hottest rack this world has ever seen.” She finished by wiggling her fingers, a slight movement that brought another pained wail from her captured opponent.

Suffering under the near blinding pain of Scarlett’s Iron Claw, Jennifer hated to admit that she was in serious trouble. If she didn’t get out of this soon she wouldn’t have any strength left to fight back when Scarlett tried the Breast Smother again. Unable to accept the possibility of defeat, the pinned brunette pried her hands away from Scarlett’s immovable wrists and instead settled into the blonde’s thick locks. Grabbing onto as much as she possibly could, Jen roared her fury and TWISTED hard to the left.

It wasn’t enough to break the Claw, or even weaken it, but if did reverse their positions which meant Jen could get her feet under her. Wasting no time in doing so, J-Lo forced Scarlett to rise along with her and it did the Latina Supreme’s heart good to hear frustration in Scarlett’s voice when she growled, “You should’ve stayed down fat ass.”

Yanking and tearing at the blonde’s grip again, Jen panted, “When my fat ass goes down, it’ll be because I’m landing on your...”

Scarlett interrupted her, screaming, “GET THAT FUCKIN’ BITCH OFFA THE APRON!” (presumably at the official.)

When the ref turned to catch the guilty party in the act, it gave Scarlett all the time she needed to draw back her right leg and BURY a vicious Toe Kick in the Booty Queen’s trunks!

“AAARRRRGHH…” Jennifer let out a watery, wavery shriek and even her world-class gams weren’t strong enough to withstand such a blow. She had already collapsed to her knees when the ref turned back to the action. By then, Scarlett had reset her footing and released the torturous Claw Hold. Pulling the kneeling beauty forward into a Standing Headscissors Scarlett took Jenny’s battle-rumpled briefs and continued the wedgie-war they’d been waging all night.

Swinging Jen’s powerful hips back and forth via her new handle, Scarlett sneered, “We could keep this up all night Jennifer, but I have a feeling you’re about to CRACK!”

She yanked up hard enough to lift J-Lo’s feet off the mat. Once she had the brunette high enough, Scarlett sat out and drilled Jennifer’s head into the canvas with the Pulling Piledriver she loved so very much. Shoving the Booty Queen over onto her back, Scarlett straddled her waist again and gently dabbed her index finger in a thin trickle of saliva leaking from the corner of Jen’s mouth. After inspecting the gleaming stuff, she wiped it on the brunette’s cheek and said, “Oh look; there’s the goo I was waiting for. Guess that means you’re ready for more jugg.”

Treating J-Lo to another double serving of Vitamin J, Scarlett pulled the Latina Supreme’s upper body off the mat, wrapped her arms around Jen’s head and pulled her face in deep. Leaning her cheek on J-Lo’s, Scarlett snugged the Front Sleeper tight and whispered, “T trumps A bitch; every day of the week! I’m honored that I was the one chosen to teach you this valuable lessUNNNNNNNNGGHH!”

Jennifer bit down on the intruding flesh again and this time she didn’t let go when Scarlett pulled away. She hung on like a pit-bull, shaking and jerking her head from side-to-side as she did her best to rip off one of Scarlett’s Twin Cannons. Roaring in pained surprise, Scarlett got her feet with J-Lo tenaciously hanging on. Wanting nothing more than to extinguish the cruel fire on her chest, the blonde balled up both hands and SMACK, pounded them on J-Lo’s forehead until her jaws opened.

Unaware for a moment she was free, Jennifer staggered around in a drunken lurch and made it about five steps before Scarlett barreled after her, went low and tore the Booty Queen’s right leg out from under her with a sadistically simple Chop Block. Her energy renewed by hate, Scarlett scrambled to her feet, sank her hands in Jennifer’s hair and scraped her off the mat. Leading the Latina Supreme over to a friendly edge of the ring, Scarlett muscled her against the ropes and stretched the brunette’s arms across the top cable. Leaning against Jennifer to keep her pinned in place, the blonde took the middle rope, pulled it up and snapped it over Jennifer’s arms, trapping her in place.

Tracing her hands down the brunette’s shoulders to the swell of her breasts, Scarlett palmed Jennifer’s rack and hissed, “You’re gonna learn to keep your hands off my tits if it’s the last thing I do.”

Pulling against her bonds, Jen sneered, “Claw all you want slut, it can’t win you the match.”

Fixing her prey with an evil smile, Scarlett replied, “You’ll wish it could.”

Jen was still processing the threat when Scarlett DUG in her talons and proceeded to give the brunette a crash course on the hallowed art of Breast Mauling. It started with ‘Introduction To Clawing 101’ but quickly moved to ‘Intermediate Pinching,’ then ‘Advanced Slapping’ before reaching the post-graduate study of ‘Tweaking.’

In a span of mere minutes, Jen learned all there was to know about subJUGGation - it was only sheer luck that Scarlett decided to take a break before her newest pupil was rendered unconscious by her course-load. Flexing her fingers to ease the ache, Scarlett pressed in close to Jen, leaned over the Latina Supreme’s shoulder and asked Elisha, “You think it’s time to finish this bitch ‘Lishy?”

Cuthbert shrugged and said, “If she can still scream, she can still fight, but I have to admit she’s looking pretty pathetic.”

Scarlett laughed. “Good poinTTTUUNNNNGHHH!” Jennifer rammed her left knee up into the blonde’s paunch and then pushed off, forcing her tormentor to stumble back on unsteady legs. Quickly recovering from the desperation attack, Scarlett’s eyes narrowed on J-Lo and said, “She’s right Jen, you HAVEN’T suffered enough.”

Scarlett raised her hands in anticipation of continuing Jennifer’s education only to have Latina Supreme rip free of the cables and bury a shoulder in her gut. Even as the air was rushing out of her, Scarlett was bulled back into the middle of the ring and muscled up onto the taller woman’s shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry.

For once in her career, Jennifer seemed incapable of finding the words that adequately expressed her fury, so she settled for letting the shattered remains of Scarlett’s skull speak for her. Thusly, she looped the arm nearest Scarlett’s head across the back of the Scarlett’s neck and cinched down tight. Maintaining her silence, the LAS leader took several loping steps forward then used her free arm to shove the blonde’s thighs up and off her shoulders, sending Scarlett’s torso and legs sailing out behind her. With Scarlett’s head still nestled in the crook of her arm, The Latina Supreme sat out hard, driving the back of her rival’s skull and neck into the canvas, with the Once Around the Block.

Normally when the move connected, J-Lo was up in a flash and calling for the Ridin’ the Six or The Smother, but tonight the combined efforts of Scarlett and the other DI sluts had drained her reserves and the brunette simply lay on her back and caught her breath as the ref began his ten count. She let him get all the way to ‘EIGHT’ before she rolled to one knee and got to her feet.

Keeping her eyes locked on the blonde, Jenny realized she was maybe a half-step ahead of Scarlett and she capitalized on this by lunging forward and trapping the ivory-skinned grappler in a loose Front Facelock. Her arm had just cinched down on the blonde’s windpipe when Jennifer dropped back to the mat, driving Scarlett face-first into the canvas with a stubby, ugly looking DDT. Aesthetics aside, the maneuver was effective and it gave the Latina Supreme several more seconds of breathing room while she thought about her next move.

Deciding that it was time she started breaking Scarlett’s body and not just her spirit, the ex-champ got to her feet, pulled Scarlett to hers and clamped down on the blonde’s wrist. Pulling her close, Jennifer purred, “By the time I’m done with you, you’re gonna be more thong than female. Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure you have a long, productive career as ass-slave to every member of the LAS.”

With Scarlett’s future career options sorted out, Jennifer stepped back and HURLED her across the ring where she CRACK, slammed back-first into the turnbuckles. The sheer velocity of the collision sent Scarlett stumbling and staggering free, but that just put her closer to Jen which allowed the brunette to bounce her off another set of buckles. As Scarlett limped back for a third taste of turnbuckle, Jennifer stepped in front of her, wrapped her arms around Scarlett’s waist and locked her hands.

Bending her knees, Jenny spat, “I don’t think your tits will look nearly so fearsome dangling off a shattered ribcage.” Interested in finding out whether this was true or not, Jen hoisted Scarlett off her feet, executed a smooth half turn and then fell to the mat, absolutely SQUASHING the voluptuous beauty beneath her with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Pushing up off the starfished grappler, Jennifer stood over Scarlett with one foot on either side of the blonde’s hips and called out, “HERE’S SOMETHING NEW FOR ALL YOU POOR SLOBS THAT MAY NOT KNOW ME!”

Spinning around to face Scarlett’s feet, Jen bent down, grabbed the blonde’s ankles and pulled them toward her. Settling onto Scarlett’s chest for a moment, J-Lo hooked her foe’s captured gams tightly under her armpits, then reached down with both hands and gripped Scarlett’s biceps. Moving as smoothly as she could, Jennifer resumed her vertical base, only now Scarlett was hanging between her thighs in an immobile U. Jennifer flashed a beaming smile at the LAS, then bent her knees and leapt into the air. It wasn’t very high, but it did allow her to tuck her calves up under her knees and if that wasn’t enough padding, Scarlett’s chest, positioned carefully under her ass was more than adequate. There was a loud THWAM as the blonde’s sternum was mashed between the canvas and her conqueror’s all encompassing rear.

Tossing Scarlett’s legs aside as the tremors from her Reverse Matchbook Slam finally subsided, Jennifer looked over her shoulder and leered down at the insensate beauty; Running her hands over her hips, Jennifer said, “A piece of advice for you honey. Next time you’re thinking about interfering in my business... BUTT OUT!”

Savoring her pun, Jennifer scooted back and lowered her glutes down onto Scarlett’s nose. When she felt the dull wedge of Scarlett’s nose slide into place, Jennifer clenched down tight and began to grind in earnest. Applying a bit of what she’d learned in Scarlett’s classroom, Jen took hold of Scarlett’s breasts and added a vicious, kneading Claw to the mix.

Trying to match the intensity and tempo of her thrusts to the timbre of Scarlett’s muffled screams, Jennifer taunted, “How’s that taste baby? Just tap one of your piggy little hooves against my ass and I’ll make sure this ends in oh.... a half hour or so!”

Trapped under the implacable, crushing weight of Jen’s rear, Scarlett couldn’t hear Jennifer’s demand, but she could hear the blood pounding in her ears and that meant she didn’t have much time left. Squirming and writhing, she soon realized there was no way to get her hands free, but when Jen shifted her weight, she WAS able to tilt her head to the side. When Jen pressed down again, Scarlett treated Jen to a taste of her own medicine and bit a chunk out of the brunette’s butt. The darkness impeding her view remained for another few seconds and then it vanished as a snarling Jennifer scrambled to her feet and hurried away.

Massaging the pain of the blonde’s bite from her haunches, J-Lo said, “That was your last FUCKING gasp cunt!” Looming over the ruined blonde, Jen hauled Scarlett up and scooped her onto her shoulder. Walking her foe towards the nearest corner, Jen SLAMMED Scarlett to the canvas, leaving her in perfect position for all manner of treachery off the top rope. Grinding the heel of her boot against the blonde’s erratically rising chest, Jennifer whispered, “Gonna collapse your lungs now honey.”

Turning her back on her foe, Jennifer stalked to the corner and began to climb. The Latina Supreme had just made it to the top turnbuckle and was still facing the audience when her followers cried out in alarm. Eyes going wide, Jennifer shot a look over her shoulder and that’s when Scarlett SHOVED the brunette’s legs out from under her. Dropping like a rock, Jen slammed butt-first into the top buckle and sagged forward in a stunned little slump. She would have been perfectly happy to sit there and recuperate for several minutes, but Scarlett was going to allow her no such luxury.

Within seconds, the vindictive blonde had grabbed J-Lo by the shoulder-straps of her top and pulled the trapped beauty backward, stretching her parallel to the canvas even though she was still firmly seated in the corner. Breathing hard, Scarlett chided, “My last gasp huh fat ass? I think you meant to say, it’s the last gasp that you’ll be awake to hear...”

Scarlett slowly and carefully applied the Half Nelson to Jennifer’s right arm and just as carefully grabbed the brunette’s left wrist and tugged it across her throat. Reefing back on the Cobra Clutch just hard enough to keep Jen from wriggling free, Scarlett bent her knees, then lifted up fast and took three giant steps backward. The sudden movement was strong enough to yank Jen out of the corner and the instant the blonde saw that her opponent was clear of the buckles, she dropped to the canvas, landing on her belly while J-Lo landed hard on the back of her head and shoulders compliments of the Cobra Clutch Slam.

The crowd (not to mention the rest of Destruction Incorporated) screamed their approval and many began calling ‘JMD, JMD!’ urging Scarlett to finish the Booty Queen for good, but Scarlett wasn’t quite ready yet. Jennifer had already escaped the Breast Smother, so she wanted to make sure the stubborn brunette was TOTALLY used up before she got another dose of Scarlett’s favorite sedative. Clinching down even harder on the Cobra Clutch after the slam connected, the blonde purred, “We’re not done yet bitch.” then rolled to one knee and pushed to her feet with Jennifer still wriggling in her grasp.

Standing behind and just slightly to J-Lo’s right, Scarlett took off toward the DI side of the ring, leapt into the air and soared almost all the way to the edge of the ring before she came down on her butt and Jennifer came down flat on her face as the newest and quite possibly most high profile victim of ‘Red Sky at Morning.’

At this point, Scarlett would usually plant her feet and bridge up to apply the Cobra Stretch for the win, but as much as she liked the move, there was another she liked even better and it was the only one that would win her the match. Dutifully releasing the Clutch, Scarlett got to her knees and rolled Jennifer over onto her belly. Straddling the Latina Supreme’s waist, Scarlett put her hands on Jennifer’s chest and gave her breasts a rude squeeze.

When Jen groaned, Scarlett smiled and slipped her shins against the brunette’s to begin the Double Leg Grapevine. Still kneading her foe’s rack, Scarlett said, “I’m sure these people would LOVE to see you take an unobstructed Breast Smother, but ya know what....” She moved her hands from Jen’s chest to her wrists and pinned them high over her head. Leaning down until she was almost nose-to-nose with her rival, she finished, “... they haven’t earned the right. And neither have you.”

Relishing the tiny moan that escaped Jennifer’s lips, Scarlett shifted up and quickly brought the full weight of her copious cleavage against Jen’s face. As the blonde’s assets cut off her breathing, Jennifer tensed up and tried to squirm free, but Scarlett squirmed right along with her and all the brunette managed to do was smear the blonde’s sweat all over her face. Exhaling a contented sigh as she felt Jennifer’s lips and nose mashing against her thinly veiled bounty over and over again, Scarlett flipped hair out of her face and whispered, “That nasty ass isn’t doing you much good now is it slut?”

Jennifer couldn’t hear her opponent’s snide query, but if she had been able, she’d have to admit that the blonde was right. Jennifer had been in some tight spots, both literally and figuratively during the course of her career, but she’d never once experienced a Jugg Smother so all-consuming and it frightened her more than she’d ever let on. Feeling her limbs turn to lead under the smothering weight of Scarlett’s heavy ordinance, Jennifer focused all her attention on breaking a hand free of Scarlett’s grip and after several seconds of futile struggling she was able to wrench her left hand loose of the blonde’s Claw.

Flailing her liberated arm in hopes of getting a hold of Scarlett’s hair, Jen’s finger brushed something that was just within reach and when she realized it was the bottom rope, she nearly hyper-extended her shoulder to grab the minutely swaying cable. Knowing she was free, J-Lo cackled something that might have been ‘BREAK!’ into the blonde’s breasts and four long seconds later, she was able to draw a deep breath into her lungs.

Watching their leader escape the perils of Scarlett’s décolletage should have been a joyous occasion for the ladies of the LAS and indeed they did cheer Jenny when she grabbed the ropes, but those cheers soon turned to snarls and pleas as Scarlett quickly got to her feet, hooked J-Lo’s ankles and draaaged her into the center of the ring. Standing with one of J-Lo’s ankles in either hand, Scarlett growled, “I’m going to break you in half, THEN I’ll smother you out. Might not be fair, but I don’t really give a shit at the moment.”

Beginning her latest test of Jen’s limits, she spread the limbs into the 45-degree angle that almost all wrestling fans recognized as the beginning to any number of Leg Locks. Moving swiftly, Scarlett bent Jennifer’s left leg so that the shin was behind the knee of the straightened right leg; then she tucked the Latina Supreme’s right ankle into her right armpit. Pausing for a moment, she wrapped her right arm around J-Lo’s ankle and through the gap in the brunette’s legs so she could lock her hands, creating a virtually inescapable loop.

At this point, savvy fans recognized Scarlett’s actions as the beginnings of the Texas Cloverleaf and most would expect the blonde to simply step over her victim and flip her onto her stomach to complete the hold. But a diehard fan of the calculating blonde would have known that a basic Cloverleaf was too simple for Scarlett and they’d have been right to guess that she had something different in mind.

Instead of simply sitting down on J-Lo’s back when she flipped the brunette onto her belly, Scarlett stayed facing the same direction as her victim while still keeping her legs locked in the Cloverleaf position. Kneeling right beside her opponent’s hips, Scarlett was able to apply even more pressure to Jennifer’s legs, spine and abdomen. The final result was a sort of Inverted Cloverleaf that brought a thunderous ovation from the fans and roar of agony from the Booty Queen.

Keeping her hands locked tight around J-Lo’s gams, Scarlett rocked back and forth, each forward motion bringing the soles of Jennifer’s boots a little closer to the back of her head. Holding the brunette right where she wanted her, Scarlett cranked down on the Inverted Cloverleaf just a little bit more. Now the tips of Jen’s boots were almost touching the back of her head.

Speaking in a calm, sweet voice, the blonde demanded, “Beg for mercy Jenny. Beg real loud and I promise you’ll be unconscious when I go for the Front Sleeper again.”

Growling in lunatic fury, Jennifer dug her claws into the mat, pushed up and sneered, “I’M BEGGIN’ YA TO USE SOME CHAPSTICK BEFORE YOU KISS MY ASS!” Ignoring the firestorm that was raging in her spine, the ex-champ crawled her way toward the ropes and was able to grab hold of the middle one just as Scarlett was starting to pull her back. Hanging on with both hands now, Jen howled, “GET THAT BITCH OFFA ME!”

Hissing her displeasure at the official, Scarlett tossed Jennifer’s aching legs aside and hoisted her off the mat with another scandalous Wedgie. Leading her back into the no-man’s land of center ring. Leaning against her victim’s back, Scarlett applied one last Cobra Clutch, then reared back and fell to the mat, driving Jenifer face-and-chest-first into the canvas with her Scarlett Letter Face-Plant.

Breaking her grip on the trembling brunette’s upper body, Scarlett scrambled to her knees and positioned herself at Jennifer’s feet. Easily folding the Latina Supreme’s legs up against her butt in a rough X, Scarlett slid forward and sat down hard on the crossed ankles. In position for her finisher, the blonde raised her right hand high overhead and screamed, “SCARLETT FEVEUUNNGGHHHH!”

Having seen enough of the blonde’s arsenal, Shakira slid into the ring, exploded forward and WHAM drove both boots into the side of Scarlett’s head in beautiful Low Dropkick. The simple strike sent Scarlett sprawling AND managed to turn the outside of the ring into a flurry of activity as the two factions threw caution to the wind and went after their rivals in a vicious, shrieking cacophony of female fury!

Brushing the ref aside, Shakira looked from Jennifer to the rest of her LAS sisters and said, “Hope that helped boss. I’d stay if I could, but they need me out there.”

Her words were still reaching Jen’s ears when the Colombian sensation dove through the middle rope and hurled herself into the fray. Eyes flitting between the chaos on the outside and the wounded ladies on the inside, the ref decided that the first order of business was the match itself, so as long as the others didn’t get directly involved again, they could beat each other stupid for all he cared. Stepping between the prostrate forms of Jennifer and Scarlett, he began his ten count and got all the way to ‘SEVEN’ before they rolled to their knees.

The movements of both grapplers were slow and pained, but Scarlett got to her feet a heartbeat or so before the brunette and she intended to use that advantage to end the match. Through with flash and finesse, Scarlett whispered, “Scream for me baby...” She loped forward and brought her right leg up in a wide, swooping arc intended to end at J-Lo’s groin…which is where it WOULD have had Jen not caught her ankle at the last possible second.

Holding the fuming blonde hopping on one foot, Jennifer took a deep breath, smiled tiredly and cooed, “Oh honey, are you SO going to PAY!” Before Scarlett could contradict her, Jennifer spun her opponent around in boozy half circle and as soon as Scarlett’s back was to her, Jen surged forward and caromed a murderous Lariat off the base of the blonde’s neck.

Taking a moment to observe the fracas outside (at the moment, things seemed to be about even) Jennifer said, “Make me proud ladies.” She buried her talons in Scarlett’s hair and pulled her to her knees. Keeping a tight grip on Scarlett’s sweat-drenched hair, Jen turned to her right, making sure that the point of her hip was perfectly level with the tired blonde’s face. Smacking her rump with her free hand Jen cooed, “A lot of the fans seem to think your lips are attractive Scarlett. I wonder if they’ll still think so when they go from pouty to splattered?”

THWAP!

Jennifer licked her hips and drove her butt into Scarlett’s face with the speed and pinpoint accuracy of a championship jab. Scarlett moaned as her head lolled back on her shoulders, but that was all she was capable of at the moment. Tugging her rival back into position, J-Lo added, “Of course, I might be willing to spare that baboon’s ass living under your nose if you’d pucker up and kiss my ass. It’s a bargain right?”

Glaring at the Booty Queen through hateful, slitted eyes, Scarlett murmured, “Screw you!”

THWAP!

J-Lo snapped her hips again, crossing Scarlett’s eyes with a second Callipygian Uppercut! Yanking Scarlett’s head back into place, Jennifer reached around behind her and pulled her glittery black briefs up in a self induced wedgie that was easily the most gentle of the evening. Swinging her hips in a slow circle, she teased the mob with a sultry, grinding wind-up before…

THWAP!

She gave Scarlett to a third flick of her hips! Holding the blonde’s face against her domineering hip, Jen treated Scarlett to a cheek-to-cheek embrace as she taunted, “My girls are about to finish off your slutty blonde friends and I’m going to start the slaughter by splitting your fuckin’ head wide open.”

Hauling Scarlett off her knees, Jennifer slipped an arm through Scarlett’s thighs and scooped her up onto her shoulder. Ignoring the cheers of the crowd, she wrapped both arms around Scarlett’s waist and wiggled the blonde into position so that her face was about level with Jen’s crotch, while the brunette’s smirking face was framed by the splayed V of Scarlett’s thighs. Having just tossed Mayra back-first into the steel steps, Elisha turned her attention to the ring and she blanched when she saw Jennifer setting up the Tombstone.

Pretty face set in a manic snarl she hissed, “Oh no you DON’T!” She slid into the ring and after popping to her feet in the blink of an eye, Elisha grabbed Jen by the shoulder and spun her around in a half circle. Sneering into J-Lo’s stunned face, Cuthbert chirped, “Hi ya fat ass!” She jabbed a thumb in the Booty Queen’s left eye.

Just as Elisha was just about to celebrate her minor triumph, she, Jen and Scarlett were all plowed into by the out-of -control duo of Adrianne Palicki and Sofia Vergara! The collision knocked all five ladies into and then through the ropes, spilling them all to the floor and leaving no one but the ref in the ring and he hardly counted anyway. It was shortly after that group landing that things went from chaotic to downright insane.

After several long seconds on the mat, Jennifer groaned and got slowly to her feet. Resting against the barricade, the Latina Supreme was just about to rejoin the battle when a slightly contemptuous voice said, “You’re putting on quite a show Jennifer. Bravo.”

Jen whirled around and found herself staring into the smiling face of Monica Bellucci. Finally reaching the end of her patience with regards to the Italian Amazon, Jen snarled, “Shut the fuck up!”

She swiped a beer from another front row fan and threw it in Monica’s face. Leering as the big brunette gaped in shock, Jen growled, “I don’t want to see your face again unless it’s on the other side of this barricade. Got me bitch?”

With that, the Latina Supreme spun away and went looking for a prime cut of Elisha Cuthbert. Choosing her words carefully, Charisma Carpenter touched Monica’s shoulder and said, “Whaddya want US to do?”

Bellucci’s answer was as concise as it was dreadful, “Hurt them.”

Turning to Jamie-Lynn, Cristina and Carmella, Charisma nodded and said, “Coats off ladies; the waiting is over.”

As one, the faction that would soon be known as The Black Hand stood up and whipped off their concealing trench coats to reveal charcoal grey bikini’s with the faintest hint of a pinstripe pattern. Pouring themselves over the barrier, Monica and her followers waded into the raging battle and the biggest Pier 6 brawl in the history of the promotion got even bigger.

What happened over the next few minutes was impossible to describe in any detail. Even Archer, for all his observational powers, had to watch the tapes more than a dozen times in the months following the show and even then he was only able to describe bits and pieces of the action. For a moment, the newly arrived brunettes imposed their will on the battle weary members of DI and the LAS, but the scrapping factions united just long enough to beat some respect into the newcomers and soon a whole handful of three-way skirmishes were littering the ringside area.

Over the din of the crowd and the snarls of the fighters, the ref was frantically calling for the bell and even though he got his wish, the factions didn’t stop fighting and no other officials came to his aid. Finally, he just sighed and resigned himself to letting the action run its course. And of course, that’s what it did. No battle, no matter how furious and energetic, can go on forever and eventually the number of vertical participants started to dwindle.

Brittany Murphy ate a Running Thump from Jennifer that nearly turned her inside out. Christina Scabbia and Shakira floored one another with Flying Crossbody Presses that hit at the exact same time. Scarlett, vicious to the bitter end, had just finished Choking out Jamie-Lynn Sigler when she turned around and walked directly into a jaw-shattering Mafia Kick from Monica. If there was a standout in all the carnage, it had to be Adrianne - Destruction Inc’s resident Amazon - who tore through Mayra Veronica, Carmella DeCesare and Vida Guerra before a Double DDT from the unlikely duo of Sofia Vergara and Charisma Carpenter dimmed her lights for the duration.

Palicki was still twitching a little when the brunettes broke away from one another and slid into the ring to join the last members of their faction. From the Latina Assault Squad it was Jennifer and Sofia. From Destruction Inc it was Elisha and Natalie and from the Black Hand, Monica and Charisma were still up and looking for a fight. Eying the other pairs wearily from different corners of the ring, the six remaining battlers were getting ready for one final clash when the speakers at top of the ramp spat a burst of static and kicked out the distinctive opening riff to 311’s ‘You Wouldn’t Believe.”

Every head in the stadium turned toward the entryway as Richard Fannin stepped into view. Microphone in hand, the promoter made the ‘cut the music’ sign and when he had silence (or at least what passed for silence in a sold out arena) he said, “Ladies, ladies, ladies... what’cha fightin’ for? Never mind, I already know the answer; some people just have a natural inclination to spoil a party and that’s you all to a tee. But a lot of people have put a lot of work into making sure this night is something special and I’m not going to let a handful of foul tempered gate-crashers ruin it for everyone else. Now, judging from the egomaniacal rants I’ve heard from you throughout the course of the evening, I gather you think you’re pretty good at surprises...”

He paused then as Elisha nodded emphatically and mouthed, “Fuckin’ A.”

Shaking his head ‘no’ Fannin continued, “Sorry Lishy, none of this shit surprises me in the least. See, ever since Neve kicked your ass to the curb back in February, I knew you would try to put together another incarnation of Destruction Inc and here they are, bigger, meaner and blonder than ever.”

He smirked a little and turned his attention to Bellucci and Carpenter. “Same goes for you Monica. When you and the rest of the noir foot soldier showed up at ringside and started giving LAS the stink eye, it was only a matter of time before you slithered over the rail and started causing real problems. Not that I mind of course, it makes for great TV, but I think you’ll regret the decision in the morning.”

Leaving the brunettes to scowl and ponder, Rich eyed Jennifer and said, “And then there’s Jen and the Latina Assault Squad. You ladies just don’t like competition do ya?” Jen just smirked, kissed her palm and slapped her ass, the message was clear enough.

Rolling his eyes, the promoter asked the audience, “So where does that leave us? It leaves this entire promotion in the middle of a turf war between three Alpha bitch types and their various followers and hangers on. Now I admit, the ensuing train wreck would be fun to watch, but I have a feeling that if it goes unchecked for very long there won’t be much of a promotion left by the time the dust settles. Seeing as how I helped build this place from nothing, I was at a crossroads of sorts... I could leave the problem of you and your turf war to my predecessors... or I could do something about it. Well it wasn’t really much of a decision. Couldn’t very well let this place burn could I? Too many good people would get hurt in the process.”

Everyone who’d been present for the start of Fannin’s speech still had their eyes riveted to the promoter, but a few that had been coming back from the concession stands or the merchandise booths were focused on getting back to their seats and it was these lucky few that saw the first wisps of smoke start drifting up from beneath the ring.

Back on the stage, Fannin was saying, “But what to do, what to do? A moment ago, I mentioned being at a crossroads and that’s a very apt metaphor because anyone who knows anything about mythology or the supernatural knows that a crossroads is where all manner of deals can be made. So about nine months ago, right after the World Title was stolen from a certain Slayer in the most ignominious of fashions in fact...” He trailed off to see how Jennifer would react, but the Latina Supreme just kept glaring daggers and neither she nor the others in the ring noticed that the wisps of smoke had woven themselves into a carpet that reached to mid-shin.

Clearing his throat, Fannin explained, “... nine months ago I went out to where the Innsmouth Road crosses the Arkham Turnpike...” another pause as the locals cheer the landmark.

“...and I made a deal with a demon. The terms of the contract were simple. I’d let this monster and her friends into the house I’d built so they could have all the fun they wanted, but ONLY SO LONG AS... they promised to keep the house from falling down. Deal thusly made, I opened the door and let them get to it. They’ve been working behind the scenes here for quite some time now, though they did make a rather public statement at the Fourth of July Party. Those of you who were there will know what I mean. Isn’t that right Jen?”

The former champion’s face went a sick, furious white as, storming to the edge of the ring, she screamed, “YOU MANIPULATIVE SON OF A BITCH! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!”

Jen’s movement finally caused the others to notice the smoke that was billowing at waist level, but despite this rather odd development, they couldn’t seem to keep their eyes off the Promoter.

“I was going to let my new friends introduce themselves on their own schedule, but your skirmish here tonight has forced my hand and that means the time for subterfuge is over.”

At his last word, every light in the arena started to flicker and flash like a strobe light that had developed a mind of its own. Almost lost in the deepening gloom now, Richard Fannin raised his free hand in an ‘I almost forgot’ sort of gesture and added, “Oh, one more thing before they get here... there’s an old saying that goes ‘Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.’ Well ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the devils I know...”

Oblivious of the smoke and flashing lights, Jennifer glared over her shoulder to Sofia and said, “Come on, we’re gonna have a little talk with that asshole.”

Vergara nodded, started to come forward and that’s when an arm reached out of the fog, grabbed her shoulder and pulled her into the murk. There was the sound of a brief struggle, followed by a dull THUD as something hit the ring, then... nothing.

Eyes going wide, Charisma muttered “What the hell was UNNNGHHHH!”

Unseen hands ripped the brunette’s legs out from under her and dragged her off into the silent grey wall.

Seemingly unperturbed at the abduction of her underling, Monica glanced to Elisha, Natalie and Jen and said, “I think prudence dictates we put our differences aside long enough to...”

A long, lean shape came hurtling out of the mist, plowed into Natalie’s midsection and bulled her away into nothingness.

Jaw gaping open, Elisha whirled around and screamed, “SHOW YOURSELF!”

The echoes were still bouncing back at her when an almost liquid blonde blur dropped down on Monica, caught the Amazon in a loose Front Facelock and YANKED her off her feet into the fog. There was another THUD and that was all Elisha needed to see.

Snarling at Jennifer, she hissed, “We’ll finish this later.” Not waiting for a reply, she spun toward the side of the ring leading toward the ramp and was immediately greeted by a pair of arms and dragged away without a word of protest.

Alone now, Jennifer calmed her nerves and turned in a slow circle. She didn’t see them during the first rotation or even the second, but halfway through the third, she discerned five vague shadows encircling her just inside the roiling walls of the mist.

Converting the gnawing fear into a searing rage, the brunette focused her eyes on the shadow directly in front of her and screamed, “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!”

Lips brushed against her ear and a voice she should have known whispered, “You don’t look so tough now.”

Turning in a flash, Jennifer pounced and... the party planner drove a knee directly between her thighs. The audience had a vague impression of Jennifer sinking to her knees in front of a looming black shadow for just a moment, then the shadow hooked J-Lo’s head and dropped back into the fog to DRIVE the Booty Queen’s skull into the mat with a DDT that stood her up like a tent spike before she sank into the thick grey sea.

The moment Jennifer vanished from view, the lights steadied out and the fog seemed much thinner, though J-Lo and her attackers were still lost from view. That changed when the shadows stepped forward and formed a loose ring around the spot where Jennifer had gone down. Cracking a mysterious smile, Elisabeth Harnois glanced at the others and said, “Didn’t I tell you this was going to be fun?”

Camilla Belle nodded. “It’s pretty cool being here at the very beginning. Makes a girl feel special.”

Just then Alexz Johnson chimed in with a slow, sad bit of verse. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end...”

Hands on her hips, Agnes Bruckner added “Hers, I’m guessing.” She indicated where Jennifer should have been, then said, “Aren’t you glad you took us up on the offer tiny?”

Still savoring the stunned look on Monica’s face before she’d driven it into the mat, Hayden Panettiere grinned and said, “I have to admit, it’s been one hell of a party so far.” Glancing down into the fog, Hayden called, “Boss? You still down there?”

A tall, lean form rose up like a ghost and stretched her arms wide in the vague approximation of a cross. Basking in the ear-splitting cheers from the crowd, Katie Holmes smiled, rolled her shoulders and said, “It’s good to be back.”

Before her new followers could say anything else, Holmes reached down into the rapidly receding miasma, found what she was looking for and pulled a glassy-eyed Jennifer Jen up into the light. Not even sparing the insensate Latina Supreme a second look, Katie forced her into a Standing Headscissors and wrapped her arms around the brunette’s thick waist.

Turning to Hayden, she asked, “You’ve already helped tip the scale Panettiere; are you ready to kick that fucker over?” Hayden just nodded. “Then, you know what to do.”

Indeed she did. The willowy brunette lifted Jennifer up so that the small of her back was resting against the point of her shoulder, the diminutive blonde jogged to the turnbuckle behind her leader and hopped onto the top rope. Turning to face the ring, Panettiere stayed in place for less than a second before she leapt out into the void and tucked her knees up under her chin. As gravity began to pull her down, Hayden STOMPED down with both feet and buried them in Jennifer’s midsection. And as soon as Katie felt the weight of her blonde protégé’s landing, she dropped to her knees, instantly bending Jen in an inverted U with the most hellacious modification on the Holmes Wrecker the world had yet seen. J-Lo shivered once, then Katie tossed her to the mat where she laid still.

Standing amidst this new Darkness, Katie appraised them all, then joked, “Well that was fun. Who’s for Chinese?”

Casting a wary eye over the prone form of the Booty Queen, Beth asked, “Sure we’re done here? I thought she was supposed to leave on a stretcher.”

Holmes shrugged. Let her be, we can break her another...”

A sputtering cough interrupted her, then a weak voice said, “I’m gonna... gonna fuckin.... kill... gonna fuckin’ kill you Holmes.”

Mildly impressed that Jennifer was still conscious, Katie tilted her head to the side and corrected, “Or we could break her tonight.”

Taking the task into her own hands, Holmes stalked over to J-Lo and pulled the boneless beauty to her feet. Jerking the crippled brunette in close, Katie put her lips to Jen’s ear again and whispered, “Do you know what your biggest mistake was Jenny? You assumed you were the only monster in this promotion. And when you assume, you make an... well, you of all people should know the end to that particular phrase.”

Jen might have tried to pant some sort of reply, but it was lost in the shrieks of the mob as Katie hoisted J-Lo off her feet and spun her into position for a Tombstone Piledriver. Face framed by Jen’s bronzed thighs, Katie turned to all four sides of the ring, then rose up on her toes and DROPPED down to crunch the top of the Latina Supreme’s skull against the canvas with her own finisher.

Letting Jen’s unquestionably unconscious weight fall from her grasp, Holmes looked down at her oblivious face and said, “What the hell, I’ve already gone this far.” Pushing up, she scooted forward, then sat the full weight of her own impressive backside down on J-Lo’s upturned nose. Wiggling her black briefs clad butt against Jen’s features, Katie appeared to mull the sensation for a while, then sighed a disappointed sigh.

“What’s wrong?” asked Agnes.

“She’s out cold. Not nearly as fun this way.”

“We could always come back later.” suggested Camilla.

“That would be too much kill. Poor Jenny here doesn’t even realize she’s got ass in her face and that just slows the fun way down. Make sure the photogs have gotten a couple good shots of this though, I want the office to have it blown up and sent to each member of the LAS.”

Pushing to her feet, Katie turned to the crowd and said, “THE NAME OF THIS SHOW IS ‘THE DAWNING OF A NEW AGE’ AND THAT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL BUT EVERYONE NEEDS TO REMEMBER THAT IT’S DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN. SO TIL NEXT TIME... GOODNIGHT!”

She raised her arms, the lights went out and when they came back on, all that remained was the human wreckage created by the very women charged with ‘saving’ Richard Fannin’s promotion.

Continue to ‘Last Hurrah #9’