Match #1: Nicole Kidman vs. Reese Witherspoon by Jack Fac
The winners/losers banquet and party was rolling along. Some gals were chowing down on steaks and chilling as others - smarting at being branded 'losers' - were forced to serve wine and hors d'oeuvres to their conquerors. In the first fight of the evening in the 'Ring of Revenge’, Halle Berry was standing over the unconscious body of Sharon Stone whom she’d knocked cold in the third round of a fight the ‘Ebony Empress’ had dominated from the opening bell. Charlize Theron was on her knees, cradling her ‘friend’ Sharon’s battered black and blue face in her lap. Halle put her foot on Sharon’s left breast - exposed when one of Halle’s hard punches had snapped the shoulder strap of her top - and flattened the fleshy mound.

“When she wakes up,” Halle told Theron. “I want you both on your knees at my table,” she said, pointing with her gloved fist to a ringside table where a group of Black women including Queen Latifah, Serena Williams, Barocca and Oprah Winfrey were surrounding an uncomfortable looking Sunny McKay, the blond porn star who was also Charlize’s lover.

Diane Lane had been making no secret of her hatred for 'Downtown' Julie Brown, the tough black woman who’d knocked her out several months earlier in a fight during one of Marg Helgenberger's ‘pity parties.’ Julie was chuckling about Diane’s pique after giving most of her other 'victims' a night off so she could concentrate on Diane's humiliation. Finally, after having heard enough 'bad mouthing' from the 'Under the Tuscan Sun' and 'Unfaithful' star, Julie told Diane, “C’mon, let’s take it into the ring.” Julie had stripped off her party dress and then quickly clobbered Lane and forced her into total submission before she dragged Diane's senseless and buck naked body back to her table and dropped it on the floor.

Others, including Reese Witherspoon, saw Diane’s disheveled body sprawled on the carpet and high-fived Julie. Nicole Kidman, however, wasn’t impressed. She saw Julie as a 'bully' - a bully who picked her fights very carefully. The Aussie star resented having to watch long-time gal-pal Diane being beaten and humiliated by the aging vixen and said so.

“Hey you beanpole asshole, what are you fuming over,” smirked Witherspoon after Nicole had vented. “Yeah you; the Aussie with the big beady blue eyes; I'm talking to you!”

Kidman was in an hellacious mood what with her husband struggling with “issues” and Reese was little better, having just learned she’d been cuckolded by Ryan Phillippe (soon to become the ‘ex-Mr. Reese Witherspoon.’) Both women were pissed and both were primed for battle! Nicole shoved Reese viciously back against the table occupied by Kim Cattrall and several other of Julie's victims, spilling their drinks.

“HEY! You two wanna fight, get in the ring. I'll ref,” growled Kim Cattrall as she wiped spilled wine from her bosom. The leggy star of 'Sex in the City' whipped off her dress, leaving her topless in just a pair of wild blue, bikini panties. Catcalls and yells cascaded down on her as the two combatants followed her to the ring. Nicole stripped down to white bikini panties while Reese got totally naked!

“No introductions needed ladies,” announced Kim to the crowd. “Reese thinks she can beat Nicole and she disagrees.”

“Let’s get it on!” was the rejoinder from the crowd.

Faith Hill, in a front row seat, bit her lower lip nervously. Reese had kicked her bony ass in their encounter a few months ago after a critic said Reese’s singing in ‘Walk the Line’ was superior to Hill’s “bubblegum country” sound. Faith, therefore was backing Kidman all the way. Also cheering for Kidman was another long, lanky 'perennial victim,’, Angie Harmon.

Round One: Kidman uses her longer reach, snapping off solid jabs into the face of the far shorter, but more solidly put together New Orleans native, Witherspoon. “Gonna give you a ‘Katrina’ of your own you little bitch,” snarls Nic as she drives Reese back into the ropes with some great body shots.

“Beanpole asshole loser,” chides Reese as she slips inside of Kidman’s roundhouse punches to drive her own hard body blows to the Aussie’s long, lean, lanky frame. Reese begins to bludgeon Nicole’s body until the withering body attack buckles the big Aussie's long, wiry legs.

“Kill her, Reese!” goes up the cry from her supporters accompanied by a groan from the other ‘beanpoles’ in the room.

Nicole is unmoved by the sentiment and she lands a wicked right to Reese's jaw that sends the short round bouncing on her butt across the canvas. Witherspoon is hurt and stunned but she struggles to get to her feet before Cattrall counts her out. Nicole follows up her advantage, tagging Reese with a sweeping left hook that drives the smaller gal backward into the ropes. Nicole swarms all over Reese, pummeling her head and shoulders as the petite blond earmuffs at the rope. The bell rings and Cattrall quickly wraps up Nicole, pulling her off the quivering Reese.

“You won that round, tall one,” laughs Kim as she escorts the redheaded Aussie to her corner with a quick slap on the ass. “I'll deny I said it, but I can't stand that little shit. So you kick her ass if you can.” Nicole is encouraged.

Round Two: Reese if defiant and comes out swinging with all she has. She has to leap into her punches, but a couple of them manage to reach Nicole's jaw and one hard shot sends the long legged one stumbling backward. But Reese can’t knock Nicole down.

“That all you've got?” teases Nicole. “Here's another one for you!” Nicole rocks the 'Walk the Line' blond with another right to the jaw that drops Reese to all fours. As Witherspoon crawls around looking for her mouthpiece, the place is in a pandemonium. Many can’t believe Nicole is capable of this at all since she’d always been considered a coward or worse.

As soon as Reese gets back on her feet, Kidman clobbers her with a left-right combination to the face! Reese's glamorous features are swelling badly as Nicole begins hammering the shorter gal at will as the round winds down.

“Gotcha don't I?” taunts Nicole.

But Witherspoon is defiant if nothing else and mounts an 'ALAMO' attack with Nicole starring in the role of Santa Ana! Reese fires some combinations, one or two of which should have gutted Nicole - but the fire is gone from the little blondes punches and Nicole weathers the brief uprising. Then Nicole drops Reese for the third - and final - time with a with a sweet overhand right cross followed by a long, looping left to the jaw. Reese's muscular little legs unhinge in the corner and she drops to her knees, then topples forward; her face on the canvas and her butt in the air!

The cheering is deafening as Kim raises Nicole's gloved right fist. Then Kim helps Nicole strip Reese and bind her ankles with her own panties. After Nicole has changed into her 'Moulin Rouge' outfit, the victorious Kidman is granted the honor of dragging Reese around the ring by the ankles while the crowd applauds her effort.

Singing, drinking and shouting are the order of the night as Kidman finishes her ‘victory drag’, then picks up Reese’s limp body and tosses it on top of Nicole’s table. Faith Hill joins her, gives Nicole a kiss, then drops to her knees to service Nicole under the table while Kidman is served dinner - the food spread out using Reese's naked body as the dinner plate.

After dinner, Cattrall brings Witherspoon around with smelling salts and, after slipping a robe around her naked body, holds her up with one arm around her waist and the other hand on the back of Reese’s head as she forces Reese to kiss Nicole on the lips.

“You're the best Nic,” Reese grudgingly announces with the other 'beanpoles' looking on and laughing at her discomfort. Then they all burst into guffaws when Nicole reaches up under Reese's robe and pinches her ass - because she can!

“See you upstairs later then,” Nicole grins. “I'm in that kinda mood…you know what I expect from you!”

“Yes Ma’am,” sighs Reese. “You won’t get any more argument from me.”
Match #2: ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Barocca by Jack Fac

It all started with a morning 'training run' with Downtown Julie Brown and her chief trainer, legendary 50’s fighter Eartha Kitt. They were running along the Hudson River when they decided to detour up to the docks which were easier on the feet. Unbeknownst to ‘Downtown’ and Eartha, however, they were being followed as they ran up one of the docks, then turned around and headed back toward the West Side Highway.

Suddenly, they found their path blocked by the foursome from 'Sex and the City' - Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis and Sarah Jessica Parker.

The “Sex Girls” were smirking as they suddenly parted to reveal the fifth member of their party, the hard-hitting Porn Star Fight Club bouncer and bar brawler - Barocca. When the busty Brazilian black beauty stripped off her robe and got set to rumble in a yellow thong, Julie felt a rush of excitement but no fear. Julie took off her running gear and faced Barocca in just her trademark purple thong.

Julie and Barocca squared off and Julie faked a left hook, then slammed the big bouncer with a short, hard, right to the gut. Barocca groaned and took a step backward and Julie followed with a whirling kick to Barocca's belly that dropped the bigger gal on her butt!

“Not bad, pint size,” snarled Barocca as she got up. “You're really pretty good.”

“You're gonna see just HOW GOOD!” was Julie's comeback. She feinted and then hammered a vicious flurry of body shots to Barocca's midsection; then as Barocca wobbled, Julie rammed her left knee up into her as well. Hearing Barocca groan, Julie challenged, “So, where's my big bad ass NOW?”

Barocca connected with a roundhouse right that staggered Julie, but she avoided further damage by spinning away and sending another big back kick into Barocca's kidneys. Barocca was in pain and feeling a need to discontinue further attacks, so she went into a defensive mode.

‘Downtown’ Julie sensed this on the spot and attacked, clobbering the big Brazilian bombshell with solid headshots, buckling the Brazilian Beauty’s knees.

“Nail her ass, NOW!” screamed Eartha when she saw how well her star pupil was fighting.

“DONE!” shot back Julie. She again kicked Barocca, then pancaked her bulging boobs with a combination that sent the big Brazilian skidding on the cement on her ass.

“No Mas. No Mas!” was Barocca's entreaty as she raised her open hands in a gesture of surrender. ‘Downtown’ Julie was loving it!

“Sure honey get up,” she cooed. Barocca got to one knee, then when she put her hands down and started to push up to her feet, ‘Downtown’ Julie stepped forward and slammed her knee into Barocca's jaw! The Brazilian dropped facedown on the dock, her eyes glassy and her lips swollen - a completely beaten fighter.

The whole epic had been witnessed by a boatload of passengers on a Circle Line Cruise which happened that day to include Ann Curry and Katie Couric who had watched the brief fight though their binoculars.

“Damn that gal can fight,” gushed Ann excitedly between rapidly heaving breaths.

“Don't worry, I’ll kick her ass when we meet,” was Couric's cocky rejoinder.

“Well, I hope you fight better’n you do your new anchor job,” Ann slyly chuckled.

“Oh I will; old friend,” Katie snarled, fixing Ann with a dominant glare that sent shivers down Ann’s spine.

Back on the docks, a crowd of longshoremen had gathered to cheer ‘Downtown’ who accosted the 'Sex and the City' gang as they tried to escape. Julie’s first punch sent Sarah Jessica slamming back into some boxes before she crumpled in a heap. Next Julie came to Kristin Davis whose mid-section was crushed by a ‘Downtown’ left hook; then a right uppercut to the jaw dropped Kristin out cold flat on the dock.

Cynthia Nixon was begging for mercy when Julie turned to her, her hands raised and her knees bent in surrender. Julie pretended to grant her 'mercy’ but suddenly, she whirled and chopped the redhead with a right cross to the jaw. Stepping over Nixon’s sprawled out body, Julie advanced on the fourth, and final ‘Sex Girl’.

Kim Cattrall looked so sexy in her blue bikini panties. Kim was looking to rumble after beating ‘Downtown’ in a kick-boxing match several months earlier. This time, things were different! Julie hit Kim with a whirling kick to the Liverpool Lasses gut, then Cattrall grunted as Julie kicked her again. Kim dropped to her knees, shaking her head. Kim got back to her feet, already knowing she couldn't repeat her Firehouse victory over Julie.

“I give, I give,” Cattrall implored as she backed away from the advancing Julie.

“You don't give till I say so,” announced Julie. “Did I forget to tell you that?” Julie sneered.

‘Downtown’ hammered Kim Cattrall until she dropped, leaving her spread-eagled on the docks with a crisp right-left combo. The crowds on the cruise ship and the dockworkers roared as Cattrall toppled face down and lay still. Julie strutted to loud cheers, dancing over the fallen bodies of her five opponents; enjoying the spectacle more than ANY fight she'd ever had. Then she and Eartha marched away arm in arm to the cheers of the crowd.

Watching from the cruise ship, Couric could only mutter, “That gal is a real wrecking ball. I have my work cut out for me. Do I ever!” Then Katie and Ann Curry went below decks and she shared a quiet dinner before spending the night in bed together.

Julie and Eartha celebrated…but not too much! Eartha wanted Julie 'extra sharp' for her upcoming bouts with legendary Porn Star Sunny McKay. Then after McKay, Eartha was already in negotiations with reps for CBS News Anchor, Katie Couric!
Match #3: Kim Basinger vs. Sean Young by Jack Fac

It's another winners/losers dinner at K&G with the winners being served by their victims. At one table, the triumphant duo of Geena Davis (served by Sean Young) and Sigourney Weaver (waited on hand and foot by the defeated Kim Basinger) are snapping orders and commands to their defeated opponents who are now their slaves.

“Move your ass Basinger!” yells Sigourney as Kim tries desperately to please the domineering 'Big Sig. “Next time you bring me overdone meat, I'm going to take you into the ‘Ring of Revenge’ and nail your dumb blonde ass again. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am, I got it Big Sig,” mutters Kim.

Sean Young's service to Geena is on a higher level, drawing only minor criticisms. The lanky, just turned 47 actress, is smirking and gloating toward Kim 'The Georgia Peach' Basinger.

“You suck at acting AND waitressing,” laughs Sean. “What can you do without fucking up?”

Basinger lunges at Young but is restrained by several women including Naomi Campbell who stopped gently patting the ass of one of her many KO victims in attendance, Sue Bird of the WNBA. Between sips of wine, Naomi proposes the two snarling women “…take it to the ring” suggesting it’d be a good 'fight night' entertainment vehicle for the crowd.

“Sure why not?” is Kim's quick response. Sean is confident too and both contestants strut to the ring and quickly strip down to their fighting outfits; Sean’s a blue string bikini and Kim to her white bikini panties. Both are still wearing the 4” stiletto heels that match their now discarded evening gowns.

Naomi is the referee and she chuckles, “OK, get it on…you LOSERS!”

Round One: Kim Basinger connects with a solid left hook that sends Young's head sideways as sweat flies off of her. This is followed by a vicious body attack to the younger woman's midriff that has Sean's face contorted in pain. “Hurts like hell doesn't it?” taunts Kim. Sean has pride though and sends several forceful jabs to Kim's face. Basinger's eyes are hit and one is swelling slightly from the blows. Young drives a right cross that staggers Basinger as the bell rings. The crowd at K&G's is loving the developing brawl. These gals really do hate one another!

Round Two: Neither gal has a corner person so it's survival of the fittest. No coaching. Basinger's right misses as Young slips it and nails the 'Georgia Bulldog' with a left hook that sends Kim on her ass to the canvas. “Not bad you lucky flake,” snarls Kim as she regains her feet though she is wobbly. “Here's another!” says Sean as she hammers Kim with another right cross, this one sending Kim stumbling backward clear across the ring. Young is out for blood as she continues firing murderous shots into Kim's face. Basinger won't yield, though, and she retaliates with a massive uppercut which buckles Young's knees. Now Sean is the one hurt! Kim Basinger drops Sean Young on her ass with a whistling right cross that hit's 'nothing but net' as Young's jaw is clouted very hard. The place is in pandemonium as the round ends.

“You two got anything left?” asks Naomi as she marvels at the fight in both of these gals.

“I know I do, but it looks like that chickenshit jerk is about done,” chuckles Kim arrogantly.

Round Three: “Chickenshit jerk huh?” snarls a defiant Young as she comes out and unleashes her 'Sunday punch' - a long, looping right hand, misses Kim and the blonde answers back, working a volley of shots that find Sean's gut. Young is backpedaling now and Basinger smells blood. Suddenly, they're at center ring letting it all hang out! First, Sean slams Kim with a left/right combo that swivels Kim's head but then Kim fires her patented body shots, finishing up by jackhammering Young with another uppercut. Sean's legs are rubbery and she's disoriented!

Kim Basinger knocks out Sean Young with a solid right cross that brings the crowd to it's feet as they watch the blue bikini clad actress crumple forward, sprawling with her right arm extended over her head on the canvas. Sigourney Weaver jumps into the ring and declares the fight over, then announces that there will be NO VICTORY DRAG since this is “a loser's match.”

Kim is incensed but can do nothing about this decision... right now that is. Sean's senseless body is dragged from the ring by a trio of Naomi's girls (all her former victims), Sue Bird, Vendela and Peta Wilson. The wining and dining resumes as Sean is hauled off in a van marked, 'DAN'S AMBULANCE SERVICE'.
Match #4: ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Carmen Electra by Jack Fac

Julie had been working out very hard at Jill Hennessey's gym which was part of the Hennessey Inc. headquarters. Jill has her scheduled to fight Sunny McKay and then Katie Couric in the near future. As a 'workout partner' Jill had brought in the swift and talented Carmen Electra who, it was rumored, may have what it takes to beat ‘Downtown’ in the ring.

“She could if you get careless like you did against that redhead, Marcia Cross,” warns her erstwhile trainer Eartha Kitt.

“I'm not fooling with you girl,” snarled Eartha. “You start in with your BS hot-dogging and you're gonna get KO’ed!”

Julie took Eartha at her word as some big fights were looming and she needed to be sharp. If she lost money for Jill Hennessey Julie's job as Exec-VP. could go out the window - plus Jill would pummel her ass to a cream. Hennessey was still Julie's nemesis but Julie would get to her eventually. That was her plan; to beat Jill Hennessey and take over the media business empire Jill controlled. But for now, it's ‘Carmen Electra Time.’

The setting is the Hennessey emporium with an audience of Jill's investors plus several of Julie's past victims including Darryl Hannah, Liz Hurley, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rachel Hunter and Kim Cattrall.

“Quite a cast of flunkies you’ve got there,” taunted Carmen. “You've done a hell of a job Brownie!”

Julie hated that nickname but didn’t fall for the bait and instead coolly replied, “I ALWAYS do a hell of a job.”

Elke Sommer was reffing and winked at Julie, giving her an encouraging slap on the ass.

Round One Electra is quick off the mark as scores solidly with a vicious jab that snaps Julie's head back violently. “Like that? There's more' thrills to come, Carm.” Julie bores in though and jackhammers the taller Carmen wickedly with brutal body shots that make the model/actress wince. Carmen's ex-, Dennis Rodman is in the front row cheering on his former lady. Downtown's combo of right/left to the body and head send Carmen sprawling to the canvas.

“Good job I'm doing there, ain’t it, ho-bag?” chortles Julie.

Carmen stumbles up to be greeted with a barrage of hard head shots as she is on wobbly legs.

“Fight back woman!” screams Rodman as the bell sounds with Carmen Electra already hurt and glassy eyed.

Round Two Julie is dancing confidently in the ring waiting for the blue eyed one to get to the center. When Carmen arrives the 'tawny vixen' Brown hammers her with scoring combos to the head.

“I'm gonna shut those baby blues of yours you phony bitch,” says Julie as she slams the outclassed Carmen Electra to the canvas once more. “Getting to be fun here,” coos Julie. “Get up and meet yo Momma.”

Carmen staggers back up and defiantly throws a long right which Julie easily slips. Carmen’s eyes are swollen and closing. Brown hits her again with a crushing body shot and Carmen goes backwards. ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown begins hitting Carmen at will, her fists smashing Electra’s body and head with speedbag precision. They're all unanswered and Elke Sommer heads in to stop the slaughter but Julie beats her to the punch as she delivers the 'coup de grace' and triumphantly watches Carmen slump to her knees and then pitch forward facedown at her feet.

Carmen's eyes ARE both closed as she lay on the canvas with her left arm at her side and the right up over her head. Julie strips off Carmen's sexy leopard thong and wraps it tight around Electra's ankles for a ‘Downtown Julie Brown Special’ - a victory drag for all to enjoy. Rodman can only slump in his chair as his ex’s beaten body gets dragged around to plenty of cheering and lots of money changing hands.

Julie has made Jill Hennessey a cool million with this fight but in the future Julie plans to pocket more of that cash for herself... once she and Jill 'have it out for the keys to the kingdom'.
Match #5: ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Cheryl Hines by Jack Fac

‘Downtown’ Julie Brown had her 'H' list and among the many who’d fallen to the 'Tawny Vixen' were Teri Hatcher, Darryl Hannah, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Liz Hurley and Rachel Hunter. One night Cheryl Hines was a guest on the Jay Leno show and had been sounding off about this list and how she, along with Jill Hennessey, would be 'H' gals who could beat Downtown.

Her boasting been anticipated by Leno's writers and a makeshift boxing ring had been set up behind the curtain. Cheryl had shown up for the late night show in a great looking black dress but beneath it she wore the 'black boxing thong' she said she'd wear if Downtown Julie Brown had the 'guts' to face her.

As Cheryl continued dissing Julie the curtain parted to reveal the ring AND Downtown Julie Brown in her patented purple thong and red stiletto heels. Julie was fresh off her solid thrashing of Carmen Electra and was holding a mike.

“OK you blond floozie,” Julie said. “Get on in here and show us all that you've got.”

When Julie's favorite ref, Elke Sommer, strutted out and entered the ring, Cheryl’s jaw dropped but only for a second. Jay smirked as he took the mike from Julie and became the ring announcer. “Let's see who's got what,” said Leno as he signaled Elke back in and the bell rang for round one. A national television audience was tuned in.

ROUND ONE: Cheryl's left jabs are quick and sting Julie's face as she dances skillfully in the ring. Brown goes downstairs with her vaunted body attack and jackhammers the blonde who winces. They're at mid-ring trading shots and Cheryl gives as good as she gets. There's no holding back right from the get go. These gals don't like each other at all. Julie's shots are coming harder though. She slams Cheryl with a volley of gut shots and connects with a brutal uppercut which staggers the Miami born blondie. Brown's left hook finds Hine's jaw and sends her sprawling down on her ass. The audience is loving every moment of this fight. Phone lines are lit up and bets are being placed. Julie wins round one.

On her stool in the corner, Julie is warned by her trainer, Eartha Kitt, not to get careless. “This babe can hit. Your left eye is puffy already Julie, watch yourself.”

Round Two: Hines isn't finished by a long shot. She's aggressive and fires a good scoring combo to Brown's face. She's looking to close Julie's left eye. Downtown regroups as she moves back but Hines swarms in with a follow up attack and brings this fight to life. She floors Downtown Julie Brown with a long left hook. Julie falls hard and stumbles back up. Cheryl is showing plenty of resolve here as she steps up the attack. “You're an over rated phony Downtown and I'm going to prove it and retire your wise ass tonight.” Cheryl has gotten a bit too boastful although she’s won Round Two.

Eartha Kitt snares Julie by her thong and whips her onto her stool. “You're falling for her style and losing your discipline Downtown. Start counterpunching like I've always told you. Make her miss, then make her pay.”

Round Three: Julie gets the message. Hines attempts to continue her onslaught but her combo misses as Julie ducks under Cheryl's bombs and unleashes a furious flurry of body shots which double the leggy blonde over. As Hines moans in pain she is hammered by Julie's left/right roundhouse punches to the head and she's hurt. Hine's is now the 'runner' and is looking for a reprieve but the revered Downtown Julie Brown is 'on the march'. Downtown wallops Cheryl Hines with a stinging left hook and the blonde is now growing arm weary. The audience, both in person and on television, sense the outcome.

Downtown Julie begins delivering unanswered blows to the head of Cheryl Hines. As Cheryl is in mid-ring she begins beseeching Julie to stop.

“You got me Downtown. You're the best. I give I give…please…no more…” Her blue eyes are swollen but Julie can see the fear and the defeat in them and she knows she's added another 'H' girl to her stable tonight. “I'll be your lover…or whatever you want me to be,” sobs Cheryl.

“Yeah you will!” chortles Julie. Then she drills the helpless and beaten Cheryl Hines and sends her sprawling on her back, down for the count out cold! Pandemonium lets loose as Jay Leno climbs into the ring to announce Downtown Julie Brown is the winner.

Julie kneels astride Cheryl’s thighs, grabs her thong by the hips and pulls it slowly down her legs, exposing her neatly trimmed blond bush. Wrapping it around Cheryl’s ankles, Julie stands up and begins to drag Cheryl around the ring in her traditional victory drag, the blonde's bare ass exposed to millions of viewers as shocked executives hurriedly cut away to a station break. When Leno returns, he’s standing in the ring next to a sweaty Julie who responds to his query about her next opponent, “Next up for me Jay...that porn star skank who thinks she’s a legend…Sunny McKay!
Match #6: ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Emily Proctor by Jack Fac

Marg Helgenberger continued to lament her loss in the ring to Katie Couric months after the solid battering she'd endured and the ignominy she felt after falling to the 'talking head' in front of a huge crowd at Madison Square Garden. Even current Gotham mayor Mike Bloomberg, and former mayor and wannabe Prez Rudy Guiliani, had been in attendance. It was a 'happening' in New York but Marg couldn't pull off the win and had been badly victimized by the sexy leggy newsbabe.

CSI's 'Catherine Willows' was vindictive if nothing else and while her confidence was battered after that loss, she wanted revenge for that beating... in any form. As she sat nursing a drink at an L.A. nightspot, CSI Miami’s Emily Proctor happened to arrive solo.

“Hey what's up?” chirped Marg.

“Not much,” was the response from Proctor. “Hey you look a bit woebegone there girlfriend,” continued Emily.

“What's up is I can't shake that damned loss to Couric this past winter,” replied Marg. “Now she's slated to fight 'Downtown' Julie Brown who is a bit of a tigress. I wanted Julie myself,” said Marg. “Now that damned bubble has burst.”

“Well hey, maybe I can be the one,” gushed Emily. “She's a phony who picks rollover floozies she knows she can beat. What do you think of my dealing with her? After I knock her ass out, I can face Couric myself and finish the whole job. That sound like a plan Marg?”

“Sure does,” purred Helgenberger who thought Emily had swallowed her bait hook line and sinker. Marg wanted back in the ring, but after she saw how Emily fared. Proctor issued her challenge to Downtown via Eartha Kitt, Julie's manager and trainer.

“Sure blondie, we'll be happy to have you fight us,” came Kitt's response.

Julie got the word and went into training immediately. Proctor was an unknown quantity to the Brown camp. She looked strong and she might possess speed, but she had no real boxing record to speak of.

“Careful of that type,” cautioned Eartha. “Those are just the ones who can nail your cocky ass and I don't want that happening. We have McKay and Couric coming up, so let's be smart.”

Julie was aptly forewarned.

A month later they are pitted against one another in Miami at the Orange Bowl. The crowd is Southern and CSI Miami shoots a lot of local footage, so they fans tilt heavily pro Proctor. Julie is booed roundly as she is introduced and slips off her robe to reveal a still solid body in that trademark purple thong. Proctor has a white g-string on and stiletto heels.

Once again, Elke Sommer is the ref and she winks at Julie, “You'll stick her wise ass, but be careful.”

Round One: There's upwards of 80,000 people watching the bout as they're waved into the ring. Julie feints Proctor and lands a brutal body shot to the sexy blonde's gut. Emily winces and backs up. Her face has reddened already. The Raleigh, N.C. born actress attempts to counter with a right cross but is soundly beaten to the punch by a flurry of deftly placed body blows by the Cardiff, Wales native. Tawny 'Downtown' Julie isn't fazed by the crowd or by Proctor and she hammers the blonde viciously to the canvas with an overhand right! The place sits in stunned silence when Proctor lands hard on her ass. She’s up at six and wobbly as Sommer waves for them to continue. This is tune-up time for Julie who hits Emily with rocking jabs to the face until Emily’s eyes are swelling. This is a rout of sorts but Julie wants to enjoy herself and she finishes the round by pounding Emily hard to the body as the blonde back-pedals desperately trying to avoid further punishment. The bell sounds and Emily staggers back to her corner while Julie plays to the crowd, waving her gloves overhead knowing she's won this round convincingly.

During the break, Eartha lets Julie know that anytime she wants to put the blonde away then make it happen. Over in the CSI corner things are grim as Jorja Fox is sponging off the blonde’s body, unable to hide her exasperation at what she’s seen of Emily's ring skills so far.

“You either start fighting or I'm throwing in the towel. You got that?” explodes Fox.

“I got it; I got it,” is Emily's weak reply.

Round Two: Emily's eyes are really watery and swelling and she doesn't see the next series of violent jabs Julie throws which connect with her eyes again. Proctor's head is snapped back by this flurry. Her legs are shaky as she is stumbling backward. At this point, Julie hits Emily with the hardest uppercut she's EVER landed on anyone. Proctor's senseless body is catapulted up and OVER the ropes. She lands in the first row where she sprawls over the laps of three spectators, unconscious!

The place is in pandemonium as Julie Brown is dancing around the ring with that victory smile of hers.

“Slide her dumb blonde ass back in here,” Julie commands and a couple of patrons quickly oblige.

Emily is stripped buck naked by Julie who then drags her unceremoniously around the ring on her chest with her ass in the air. Julie calls for the smelling salts and brings Emily around. When she comes to and sees Julie, she blurts out, “No more Downtown, you win.”

“Shut up blondie!” snarls Julie. “I jacked your dumb ass out of the ring as you'll see the film clips. Just report to my dressing room in the next twenty minutes. I’m gonna have some more FUN with you.”
“Yes, yes. I will,” stammers Emily. “You're the best and the toughest.”

“I said, ‘Shut up’!” repeats Julie and backhands the beaten blonde with her right hand.

“Unhhh,” groans Emily.

Julie is escorted out of the ring by Elke Sommer and Eartha Kitt. “You were great champ,” exults Sommer. “Dinner is on me tonight.”

“Great,” gushes Julie as she softly kisses the older referee and her frequent lover. “I’m gonna bring my new sex doll along too.”

“Oh yeah. That’ll work,” replies Elke. “After all, I can't have all the fun now can I?”
Match #7: Catherine “Cat” Bell vs. The Mystery Lady by Jack Fac

Cat Bell had been in a losing skein since her encounter with Kelly LeBrock ended up with 'The Woman in Red' beating her in a huge upset. Then Naomi Campbell also triumphed over 'Colonel MacKenzie'. She tried a couple of apartment wrestling matches, but lost to Jeri Ryan and Charlize Theron! Tonight, Cat’s in a gym by herself (she thought) where she intended to hit the speed bag and do some shadow boxing to improve her footwork. She’s attired in a leopard skin bikini and high heels as she struts toward the ring only to find someone’s already there. A woman wearing a hoodie that’s short enough to reveal a yellow thong and totally glamorous legs.

“I have this damn ring reserved,” announced Cat to the surprised woman in the ring. “Get the hell out of here and I mean now.”

The Mystery Lady simply put her hands on her hips and chuckled, “I'll leave when I'm damned good and ready. If you don't like it; let's see if you can MAKE ME LEAVE.”

The lighting in the building wasn't all that bright so Cat could not make out who this was. Suddenly, a third party arrived; a blond carrying two pair of boxing gloves. It’s old time glamour gal - and current referee - Elke Sommer.

“Put these on ladies,” Elke says. “And we’ll see who owns this ring. OK?”

“Good with me,” said the Mystery Lady whose hood still hasn’t left her head.

“You're on asshole!” replies Cat with a confident smirk.

Elke set them up with the gloves, then waved them into the ring.

Round One: Mystery Gal has fast hands and fires a series of vicious shots into Cat's midsection. Bell backs up but, as she does, her pursuer crushes her with a solid right to the jaw. Bell is floored! Her long legs fly up into the air as her ass hits the canvas hard.

“Luh..Lucky shuh…shot,” Cat stammers after she regains her feet. The Mystery Lady quickly bores in, landing even harder volleys to Cat’s body the like of which she’s never felt! Even Theron didn't jack her this hard in the days she fought the Afrikaner.

“Getting the idea you're better off OUT of the ring, you clown?” taunts the Mystery Lady.

Bell's pride is wounded badly and she throws a really good lead right which hits paydirt - but the Mystery Lady's head has moved backward and the force of that blow isn't telling. Mystery gal slams Bell hard again, this time with a wicked left hook to the midsection! Cat doubles over in pain and groans as Elke waves them off for a short break.

“She kicking your ass big time,” Sommer tells Cat.

“Just ref the frigging fight and shut the hell up!” mutters Cat.

“Oh sure hon,” purrs Sommer.

Round Two: Cat's eyes are puffed up by the Mystery Lady's shots with those quick head jabs that are finding the mark every time. They're in the center of the ring and Mystery Lady suddenly whips a solid right to Cat's jaw that rocks 'Colonel Mac' back on her heels. Then it's party time for the hooded killer! Her punches to Cat's head go unanswered and Cat’s on rubbery legs; walloped by continual left-right combos to the head!

Finally, Sommer jumps in and pulls the yellow thonged assaulter away. Cat staggers back, then swoons and topples over backward; crashing out cold and spread-eagled on the mat!

Elke now raises the victorious right glove of none other than... Vannessa Minnillo! The dark haired beauty has beaten a celebrated TV star (and honorary Marine colonel).

Suddenly, the lights go on in the gym and the crew who had been observing the impromptu fight applaud heartily for Minnillo. The gal is truly hard core and has the distinction of being one of the few to have decisively beaten the great 'Downtown' Julie Brown. Word of this slaughter gets around quickly but Julie refrains from thinking of Minnillo right away since her schedule already includes Sunny McKay, Katie Couric and her big battle with Jill Hennessey for control of Jill's media kingdom.

Vannessa will have to be back-burnered awhile though we'll have to see just how long the now non Mystery Lady is going to wait.
Match #8: ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Sunny McKay by Jack Fac

This fight had been long overdue. Sunny had told anyone who would listen how over rated and under talented as a fighter Julie Brown was. Downtown had gotten the drift of this early on and methodically went about her training regimen with Coach and mentor Eartha Kitt.

“Concentrate on the boxing and forget that bimbo's big mouth,” advised Eartha as she put Julie through her paces for weeks.

Lots of roadwork and plenty of sparring with the taller and hard hitting Kelly LeBrock, ‘The Woman in Red' - a perfect partner for this upcoming match.

One afternoon the sparring got out of hand with Julie and Kelly exchanging vicious shots and Kelly flooring Downtown with a wicked right cross. Julie had been hurt but got off the canvas and proceeded to hammer Kelly senseless. Julie and Eartha revived the fallen redhead and took her to dinner as a peace gesture. After dinner Kelly and Julie had some late night snuggles with Kelly's long legs wrapped around Julie's back as she moaned in surrender to the 'Tawny Vixen.'

“You're going to whip her tomorrow champ just the same way you got me this afternoon,” cooed the dominated LeBrock.

“Hope so,” remarked Julie. “Meantime it's lights out for you again,” she chuckled.

Julie slammed her sparring partner out cold in the bed.

“Damn I love beating up these big gals,” Julie laughed. “Sleep tight, Kelly.”

Next night it's the L.A. Forum and the place is packed. Upwards of 60,000 boxing fans are there to see Downtown take on the bragging tall blonde porn star. Sunny is escorted into the ring by Eve Navarro another porn star who had been knocked out by Julie months earlier. She had been Sunny's sparring partner and had suffered the same fate as LeBrock... being knocked stiff by her partner. Elke Sommer, as always, had the reffing duties and waved both Julie and Sunny to center ring.

“Touch gloves and come out swinging,” she instructed.

Round One: Sunny gets off quickly with solid left jabs which connect with Julie's eyes. She follows with a long left hook that finds Downtown's jaw and sends Julie's head sideways with rivulets of sweat sailing off of her. Julie retaliates with her patented body attack and fires a volley of hard shots to Sunny's midsection. The blonde's long legs crumple and her face is contorted with pain. Sunny has on her black bikini panties and a garter belt. Julie is decked out in her ever present lavender thong and red heels. The Tawny Welsh born brawler punished McKay with a brutal right uppercut to her jaw and those long legs of Sunny's again buckle. Sunny is beginning to absorb more punishment than she bargained for. Julie is getting warmed up with sweat glistening off of her hard sexy body. Round one ends in a draw by the judge's scorecards. Sommer has a vote too and calls it even.

Round Two: Eartha is pissed at Downtown and lets her know she is being lazy and must force this fight. Julie responds by faking a move to her left and then hammering the feinted McKay with a hard right to the solar plexus. Sunny is showing signs of not wanting to take shots to the body by backing up. She is looking to score a big hit but that won't happen with a fighter of Julie's skills. You have to earn it. Julie is all business. She drills McKay hard on her ass with a left/right combo to her head. Sunny falls hard to the canvas as the Forum explodes. She is teetering on those long legs as the sweat from her own body is pouring off both from exertion and from fear of Downtown Julie Brown.

“Move on her! Move on her!” exhorts Kitt.

Julie complies with some more rapid fire body blows as Sunny is stumbling around the ring looking absently about. Brown has her gal.

“You got me…you got me,” wails Sunny.

“I've heard that line before,” chortles Julie as she looks into the fear ridden and defeated eyes of long lanky and defeated Sunny McKay.

“No Julie no, I'm yours…seven nights a week,” begs Sunny.

“Love to hear that you long doofus drink of water,” taunts Julie. “Now, down you go!”

She slams Sunny with a crisp right haymaker and Sunny's body catapults into the ropes. She bounces off and falls face down just inside the ropes. She hasn’t moved when Elke Sommer finishes counting her out.

“Doing a drag tonight champ?” laughs Elke.

“Oh YEAH!” replies Downtown.

Off come the black bikini panties and garter belt from Sunny McKay. Her bare ass is jutting toward the ceiling as Julie drags her “tits down” around the ring while the crowd is chanting, “Julie, Julie, Julie!”

Katie Couric and Ann Curry have been in the crowd watching all this unfold.

“She's damned, damned, good Katie,” warns Curry.

“Told you before I'd stick her,” is Couric's response.

“OK, fine,” is all Ann can say. “We'll see.”

That night Julie enjoys a little 'menage a trois' with Kelly AND Sunny, then puts both of them to sleep with her lethal fists once she’s had her fill of their lush bodies.
Match #9: Devon ‘The Tong’ Aoki vs. Neve “Night Train’ Campbell by Jack Fac

Devon has been matched against Neve in a celebrity boxing match promoted by “XYZ”. The setting is the MGM Grand in Vegas, NV for the weekend of the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight so lots of celebs are on hand. There’s been plenty of betting going on and restaurateur Rocky Aoki has been generous in providing tons of grub - particularly to his daughter's well-wishers.

Neve Campbell comes to the ring first accompanied by her corner gal, Morgan Webb, a fellow Canadian and her trainer. They are confident Neve will take down the little upstart so they can get into some serious partying to celebrate Paris Hilton's upcoming jailing.

Devon has her ‘best girl friend’ Ann Curry in her corner as her coach/trainer. The celebrity referee is the ubiquitous Elke Sommer.

Round One: Devon out moving quickly side to side, offering little or nothing for Neve to hit. Campbell, who had appeared nervous during the introductions and the respective anthems, looks like her notoriously shaky confidence is slipping already as Devon hammers the tall Canadian’s vulnerable mid-section. Neve is shocked by the power in Devon’s thundering fists. Neve fires a wicked overhand right which the smaller American slips, then she clobbers Neve with a volley of head shots that land solidly and accurately. The smaller ‘Tong’ is getting it done with both hands tonight!

Devon's hard right to Neve's jaw buckles the lanky Canuck’s long legs, forcing Neve to play defense as Devon finishes the round with a flurry of telling hits. As they go to their corners, Neve's left eye is already starting to swell closed.

Between rounds: Morgan Webb is enraged and exasperated by Neve's poor showing, telling her, “'You don't start hitting her, I'm flipping in the damned towel!”

Round Two: The smaller 'Tong' opens with another flurry of punches, then begins taunting the taller Campbell. “Big tough ‘Night Train',” laughs Devon. Suddenly, Devon gets floored by a long, sweeping, Campbell right cross. She's hit hard and her ass bounces on the canvas and Devon's long legs fly up high as she rolls onto her back!

Devon is glassy-eyed as Sommer counts to 8 before Campbell closes in to finish off the pesky little Aoki. Devon feints Campbell with a left hook and then hammers the Canadian with a hard right! She’s staggered by the punch and goes stumbling on rubbery legs headfirst into the ropes. Devon has the fighter's killer instinct and the MGM crowd is on their feet as Neve leans back on the ropes with her eyes showing fear.

“Duh…don't hit me again Devon…puh…please. You win…you win…Unnnhh…uhhhhh…” is all Campbell says before Devon's wicked body shots crush the 'Night Train's' belly.

Neve is doubled over in pain just before Devon Aoki knocks her out with a blistering uppercut. Neve’s legs collapse under her, she drops to her knees and then topples over facedown on the canvas.

Elke Sommer counts her out as pandemonium breaks out at ringside. Ann Curry scrambles into the ring, wraps her arms around her protégé and lifts Devon off her feet.

“Thanks Ann,” pants Devon as she grabs the Today show hostess by the hair and kisses her with a deep, long, tongue kiss.

Ann helps Devon strip Neve’s unconscious body and bind her wrists behind her before they slap her awake. Then they drag both Neve and her weeping second Morgan back to their dressing room for a post-fight party.
Match #10: Ann Curry vs. Courtney Cox (Arquette) by Jack Fac

The scene is another charity baseball game, this one “The Newsbabes” vs. “The Actresses/Singers.” Julia Roberts, a fireballing lefty, is up against Kelly Ripa, pitcher for the 'talking heads'. Once again, Ann Curry is having a good day at the plate against Roberts having nailed two of Julia's offerings for homer runs. All Gwyneth Paltrow, the flyhawk in left field, can only watch Curry’s shots sail high overhead and well over the fence. Meantime, Ripa has faltered, giving up solo shots to Kim Cattrall and Jennifer Aniston who crushed one well over the center field fence.

Diminutive Patricia Heaton is an unlikely hitting star when she slams a bases loaded double off Ripa to put the Actress/Singer crew up 4-2 going into the bottom of the ninth. Nicole Kidman, another tough lefty, comes in to relieve the fading Roberts after the talking heads load the bases on two singles and a walk. The heart of the line-up is coming to bad starting with Katie Couric who Kidman wipes out on strikes. Next is ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown who launches a towering pop-up behind first base that is easily picked off by Julie's nemesis - and sometime 'victim' - Kim Cattrall. Julie can only scowl helplessly as Kim taunts her, waving the ball at 'Downtown' after hauling it in.

Two out with the dreaded Ann Curry stepping up. The Asian/American is quick to slam Kidman's first delivery deep to right center where the sprinting Courtney Cox runs it down, making a nifty backhand stab on the dead run. Cox, wearing a red string bikini, and leaps high in celebration and Patricia Heaton catches and embraces her. Heaton had picked off Curry's long fly to center in Ann's previous at bat. Curry, in her trademark silver g-string, is disconsolate after losing the game despite her hard hitting which fell short. Ann was beginning to seethe as Cox ran by and smacked Ann’s ass with her glove.

“Nice game, hot shot, but you just couldn't get it done, could you?” was the taunt which brought Ann up in Courtney's face.

“I’ve had enough of your cutes BS this whole game, you little yuppie shit,” screamed Ann as a small crowd from both sides gathered around the two vixens. “FIGHT! FIGHT!” went up the cry from each camp.

“Oh yeah that's for me,” laughed Cox. “Kicking some old washed-up bimbo’s ass would really cap my day,” continued the cocky one from Friends.

Aniston cautioned her pal, “She's no pushover, Court! Remember what she did to Hannah Storm on the plaza last year.” The same Hannah who was busy stroking Ann's back at that very moment.

“Yeah bear that in mind,” was Hannah's warning to Courtney.

“I'm ready anytime you are,” purred Ann, regaining her composure. “Out on the plaza maybe?”

“You got it!” snapped Cox.
One month later the Plaza outside the Today Show’s Studio One is packed with everyone from the mayor of NYC, Mike Bloomberg, to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and her chick-loving hubby Bubba, all the way down to the mail room dudes. This is a 'happening'.

Barocca, who Courtney fought to a standstill, was Cox’s second while Katie Couric, scheduled to fight ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown next, stands with her former ‘Today’ co-host. Referee is the ubiquitous, Elke Sommer.

Round One: Courtney has the younger quicker legs and they look stunning in that red string bikini. She dances and feints Ann as she clobbers the Today announcer with a vicious combination to the jaw. Ann's legs buckle as she staggers slightly. Cox seeks to press this seeming advantage but Ann slams her wickedly to the mid-section as Cox has her turn to grimace. There is no love lost in this bout as these two work one another over with head shots. Curry's head flops sideways as Cox hammers her with a real Sunday punch - but Ann doesn’t go down. Sweat streams off of Ann Curry but she’s holding up. In fact, Ann delivers a hard right cross to Cox's jaw and the dark haired gal stumbles backwards on rubber legs as the bell rings. The round is scored even.

Round Two: Curry drives home a telling shot to Cox's solar plexus. Courtney is backpedaling for the first time in the bout. Couric can smell blood here. ”Bore in on her Ann you've got her,” exhorts Katie. Curry is grinning the grin of one in charge and her left hook finds Cox’ jaw and sends Courtney sprawling on her ass.

“Gotcha ya little wench,” taunts Curry. Cox is up at eight, glassy-eyed and wonky. Ann jackhammers Courtney with a number of unanswered body shots until Cox's legs buckle under the barrage of blows. Ann has beaten Courtney soundly this round and her fans erupt in applause as the g-stringed Asian/American beauty struts triumphantly back to her corner with her gloves over her head.

Jennifer Aniston and Barocca are both concerned for Cox’s welfare and Jen tries to get her friend to quit before she gets beaten even more. But Cox is adamant, “No! I can take her!” Jennifer isn't convinced.

Round Three: Cox fires a scoring right cross to Ann's jaw which again sends Curry's head sideways as the cheers go up in anticipation of a Cox comeback. Courtney is letting it all hang out at center ring with a flurry of scoring shots to a surprised Ann Curry's head. Ann's eyes are swelling now. Cox is doing better now and the crowd knows it. Her legs are bouncing once more. She drops Curry on her ass with a left/right combo and the place is stunned.

“UPSET! UPSET!” goes up the chat.

But Courtney Cox gets hit hard again by a Curry right cross and staggers to mid-ring. Curry’s power is brought to the fore now as she wallops Courtney Cox repeatedly with head shots that go unanswered. Suddenly Elke Sommer, the ref, sees that Ann has her gal out on her feet and she grabs Curry, wrapping her up from behind. Cox stumbles wildly on legs that are folding, then her eyes roll back and she tumbles face down on the canvas; her right arm extended overhead, her left is at her side.

Courtney doesn’t move as Elke Sommer counts her out while Curry, once again, is leaping up and down; her breasts bouncing wildly in her tiny top and her jumpin’ glutes straining her g-string as she jiggles over the body of another fallen opponent.

“You couldn't get it done when it counted, could you?” Ann taunts her unconscious foe as she and Katie swarm Courtney's limp body, pulling off her red bikini top. Ann waves it to the crowd before she uses it to bind Court’s wrists behind her back while Katie strips away Courtney’s bottom. Katie hands the bottom to Ann who wraps it around Arquette’s ankles, puts a secure knot in it, then laughingly drags her around the ring with her butt in the air.

Kandi Alexander of CSI Miami has watched all this and mutters to a buxom redhead next to her, “I've had it up to here with Ann. She better not get too exuberant or overconfident because I’m gunning for her…and you ain't seen nothing yet!”
Match #11: Downtown’ Julie Brown vs. Katie Couric by Jack Fac

All the trash talking and threatening had ended. Katie Couric had told anyone who’d listen how she’d follow up her solid beating of Marg Helgenberger at Madison Square Garden with an even bigger victory over ‘Downtown’ Julie Brown. Katie trained for months; putting in grueling roadwork and heavy bag work with sparring sessions. Linda Kozlowski signed on as Katie's trainer and emphasized how Katie would destroy Julie with her “strong inside attack.”

Julie’s long-time manager/trainer Eartha Kitt, a veteran celebrity fighter whose storied career went back to the early 1950’s (and who gained national prominence with her legendary bout against Mitzi Gaynor in the late 50’s) was, as always, heavily promoting Julie's superior foot and hand speed.

Fight night at MSG. All of Julie's former victims are seated in the row including a defiant Diane Lane who still claims that Julie had beaten her with a “lucky punch.” That comment was lodged in Julie's brain - certainly stored away for future use! We're at ringside with a full house along with NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg. Former mayors including Republican hopeful Rudy Guiliani and Democrat Ed Koch are among the dignitaries that include Senator Hillary Clinton and her daughter Chelsea who are seated in a skybox with actress Charlize Theron - a member of the Clinton posse since she visited the Clinton mom-daughter duo during a California campaign fund raiser months before. (Story on our Theron Site).

On the opposite side of the ring from Julie’s victims, sit a group of Couric fans sporting “Katie's Krazies” tee-shirts. They’re led by Katie’s ‘gal-pal’ and former Today show colleague, Ann Curry who a week before won her own bout against Courtney Cox (Arquette).

As they’re introduced, both Julie and Katie appear sweat-soaked as they enter wearing their robes. Katie peels hers off first to reveal not only a muscular physique, but an eye popping G-string - a good luck gift from (Katie’s oft rumored lover) Ann Curry. Katie is wearing black stilettos by Manila Blahnik. Julie is in her usual purple thong with red Prada pumps.

Referee Elke Sommer calls both to center ring and as Julie spins away to return to her corner, Elke reaches down and gives her a playful spank for luck, whispering, “You'll take her, but ya gotta be patient.”

Round One: Katie immediately tries going inside to Julie’s body but the 'Tawny Vixen' slips sideways and delivers a solid right to the left side of Katie’s head that spins the blonde around. Julie fires a solid series of battering blows into Katie's taut midriff, putting a grimace of pain on the struggling CBS anchor's face. Les Moonves, chairman of CBS, has warned Katie she'd better not, “…disgrace my station” reminding her ratings for her evening broadcast have been, “in the toilet.” Again, Katie is staggered by a wicked right uppercut that makes her knees buckle.

“I ain't Helgenberger, am I?” taunts Julie as she delivers more punishment to Katie's face with that trademark left-right combo. Katie is suffering through the round and she looks outclassed. When the bell rings, Julie jiggles back to her corner with her upraised arms putting a real strain on her tiny top.

Round Two: Eartha has warned Julie not to get sloppy, telling her, “stick to the game plan.” Katie has weathered some heavy shots from Brown but she’s regained her senses and she opens the round landing a brutal left hook to Julie's jaw. ‘Downtown’ is down! Julie is dropped to the canvas, bouncing on her butt! Now it’s a fight!! ‘Downtown’ on her feet at “8” her eyes glassy from Katie’s crunching one-punch power! The two stand at midring trading shot for shot, Katie going ‘all in’ and giving as good as she gets. Again, Katie blasts Julie with that left hook as she traps the tawny one on ropes and sends her her knees! Julie up at “7” and as Katie closes in to finish her off, Julie ducks Katie’s ‘go home’ right and pounds a right hook into Katie's gut that takes the anchor’s breath away momentarily. At the end of the round, they're both letting it all hang out and the crowd is on it's feet as they hammer each other unmercifully with head shots. Both have swelling eyes, but it’s Couric talking trash at the bell.

“I’m going to town; and you're going down, Brown,” rhymes Katie as she prances to her corner, her muscular glutes all a-juggle in Ann’s g-string thong.

Between rounds Eartha Kitt is enraged at the beating Julie’s been getting and she lets her have it as soon as Julie’s butt slaps the stool. “I told you - use your quickness and foot speed. But OH NO, you want to trade shots with this muscle-bound bimbo! Helgenberger did that - look where it got her! You're lettin’ her cut off the ring, you jackass; that guarantees you’ll lose! Is that what you want? CBS running an endless loop of the tape of her dragging your ass?” Then Eartha brutally shoves Julie’s ass back into the ring as the bell sounds for round three.

Round Three: Julie begins 'dancing and sticking' - forcing Katie to chase her. Katie's missing badly as Downtown's foot speed is too much for the stocky, short-legged blonde. For the first minute, neither lands a punch, but Katie’s getting winded from chasing Julie and missing wild haymakers.

“Chickenshit wimp!” murmurs Katie. “Stop running; show me what you got!”

Julie does, but on her terms! A quick stop-and-plan left hook catches Katie lunging forward; then a right cross staggers Katie and puts her back on her heels. Suddenly, Julie is advancing, firing stiff left jabs, connecting solidly with Katie's swollen eyes. Katie's legs are plodding as Downtown starts beating her to the punch; frustrating the stronger but less experienced blonde.

“Gonna stick ME; were you?” Julie taunts.

“Damn right I am!” counters Katie. Couric throws a combination which again misses but Julie doesn’t and she hammers Couric with a right cross that drops the tiring anchor on her tight ass! Couric's legs fly up in the air as she lands hard and rolls onto her back! Couric struggles back up at “7” but suddenly she looks old and vulnerable. Ann Curry is biting her nails and worrying for good reason. Julie has taken command of Katie Couric as she whip-lashes her body with a series of shots. Julie’s picking Katie apart now. Body. Body. Body. Head. Body. Body. Body. Body.

“I give…I give…you win,” gasps the teary CBS anchorwoman, unable to hold her hands up any longer; cringing in body pain from the cudgeling.

“'You don’t quit till I say so!” is Julie's rejoinder. Brown winds up and finishes off the proud blonde with a left hook that explodes on Katie's jaw. Couric's thighs quiver, then her legs buckle and she topples forward to sprawl face down on the canvas between Julie’s feet.

Julie turns and walks to her corner where Eartha removes her gloves while Elke’s still counting Katie out. Julie comes back and pulls off Katie's 'good luck' thong and throws it at Ann Curry, pointing and silently mouthing, “You're next, sucker!”

Curry is angry and subdued at the same time. She rises out of her seat as Julie straddles Katie's naked body and does a slow, sensual striptease, making it two naked women in the ring. Julie kneels and uses her own purple thong to bind Katie's ankles, then with her steady gaze burning a hole in Ann Curry, Julie drags Katie’s naked body around the ring; her firm little breasts scraping and bumping over the rough canvas as Julie holds her legs up, keeping Katie’s tight round ass high in the air for everyone to ogle

The crowd - including many of Katie’s jealous CBS coworkers and several of her former NBC ones as well - howl and shriek, either glee at how the ‘mighty have fallen’ or dismay over another Julie Brown conquest. The once more victorious Julie Brown can’t stop laughing and showing off after her biggest, most dramatic, win in several years.

Ann Curry wants vengeance - but Eartha and Julie will make Ann cool her heels - fuming and getting more and more frustrated while others get their turn first - although nobody but Jack Fac knows who they will be!

Continue to the next collection of Jack Fac fight stories