Friday Night Fight: Karen McDougal vs. Jeri Ryan by Irish

It had been several weeks since Karen McDougal was the guest referee for a celebrity catfight special for the FOX network (on our 'vote' page) but not a day passed that she didn't want to make things right. She was a novice at being a referee and some actions, or lack of action, had a direct effect on the out come of the fights.

Karen contacted a friend at FOX and asked to get a copy of the broadcast with the intention of critiquing her performance. When the tape of the show came, it was raw footage showing how Jeri Ryan had continually interfered in the Blalock/Garner fight by coming to the aid of her Star Trek costar.

Karen sat there boiling and then IT happened! Just as she suspected, it was Ryan who hit her from behind just as she was about to count Blalock out. Suspecting it had been one thing, seeing the devastating chair shot with her own eyes was another!

She immediately called FOX Sports up and demanded a chance to take on Ryan on their next celebrity catfight special. She insisted she owed it to both Jennifer Garner and Jill Hennessy to put Jeri in her place. FOX agreed and set up the match between the two women. As far as Karen was concerned, Ryan would get what was due her, in spades!

Jeri was contacted and agreed to take on the Playmate, telling the press, "If Karen thought she got banged up as the ref, wait'll she's in a position were I can actually hit her legally."

The match was set for October 31st for the producers figured Halloween night for this fight was a great idea. FOX built up the match between the two as a classic battle between good vs. evil, with Karen playing the heroine and Jeri having no trouble taking the role of the villainess.

Karen could hardly turn on the TV without seeing tape of herself being blasted in slow motion by a steel chair. For her part, Jeri was vicious in interviews. She showed scenes from Karen's box office flop, "The Arena" where Karen was fighting Lisa Dergan with a sword while Jeri did a voice-over commentary.

All of a sudden, Jeri broke away from the commentary to ask, "What's mightier then the sword?"

Then her editing team spliced in the tape of her chair shot over and over from different camera angles. Jeri went on to taunt her stating that McDougal would last about as long in the ring as her acting career lasted on the screen.

When shown the clips in an effort to enflame her hatred and get a news worthy response, Karen simply said, "I owe it to Jill and Jenn to set things right, I'll do all my talking in the ring. My actions will be my voice."

The camera crew returned to Jeri Ryan's training camp with Karen's footage, again looking to stir the pot and Jeri took the bait.

"The only thing she'll be saying in the ring will be 'Oh GOD make her stop!' Once the match starts the only action she'll be taking will be when she hits the floor on that flat ass of hers!"

Karen avoided the pre match hype to concentrate on her workouts. She stopped using her old gym and transferred her workouts to one that Irish had set up especially for her. Beside state of the art exercise machines, it was loaded with video cameras so that after each training session, they could review her progress and improve any flaws. Her progress was quite impressive and Karen couldn’t wait for the night of the fight.

Jeri, on the other hand, spent more time working on her Halloween/fighting costume then in the gym. Jeri already had a big size advantage over McDougal and she knew if she fought a smart fight she’d make the ending quick and decisive. A little trick or treat wouldn't hurt either!

As fight night neared, FOX again contacted Alyssa Milano to referee. It seemed one of the FOX executives felt she was able to maintain order during the last two fights - or maybe it was the fact he was a closet ‘Who's the Boss’ fan and that influenced his decision, because her personally approached her with a contract.

FOX, expecting a sell-out crowd as well as a large home viewing audience, booked Dodger stadium as the venue for this feline battle. Since the Dodgers owner also owned FOX Sports, working out the logistics was an easy matter.

The night of the fight arrived and keeping in the Halloween spirit, most of the audience showed up in costumes. Dressed in her leather Eva-save-a-lot outfit, Alyssa Milano was the first to make her way to the ring. She acknowledged the cheers/jeers of the fans and then took her place center stage as the ring announcer/referee.

Grabbing the mike like it was her boyfriends wand, she began to work the crowd like a carnival barker. Only after she had the fans in a frenzy of anticipation did she begin the night's festivities by announcing the fist contestant.

“Introducing our first combatant, fighting as Seven-of-Nine, that tower of blonde pulchritude, the star of Fox’s hit show ‘Boston Public’ Miss Jeriiiiiiiiiii Ryaaaaaaan!”

Jeri made her way down the aisle to a mixture of wild applause by all the thousands of ‘Boston Public’ viewers and David Kelley supporters as well as loud cheers from the ever-present Star Trek fans. Of course, she also drew the obligatory whistles and jeers from anyone who had a subscription to Playboy or a taste for quality television.

With her head tilted slightly back, her nose in the air, Jeri made her way down to the ring. As she swung a long leg through the ropes, her extremely tight fitting futuristic catsuit added more than a few supporters to her cause as every lush curve of her awesome body was accented by the ring lights glimmering off her sparkling silver outfit.

Karen, wanting to ensure that no unexpected surprises were awaiting her as they had been for Jill Hennessy, was caught by, insisted on being introduced only after Ryan was in plain sight in the middle of the ring.

Looking over at Jeri with wink and an evil smile, Alyssa introduced Karen next.

“Introducing the challenger, fighting as a Playboy Bunny, your favorite hardbody, Mizzzzz Karen McDouuuuuugal!”

Karen came out wearing a blue, one-piece bunny costume with black stockings. Rounding out her costume she had cuffs on each wrist, a collar with a small black bow tie at her throat, bunny ears - and who could miss the white cotton bunny tail on her sculptured ass! As Karen made her way to the ring to a large ovation, many in the audience who had supported Jeri after her costumed entrance, quickly switched to Karen’s camp after getting a look at her in her bunny costume.

She slid between the ropes, but instead of being challenged by Jeri immediately, it was Alyssa Milano who got in her face!

“Look you clueless slut; I run a taut ship here! If you think for one minute this fight is gonna be anything like the ones YOU were supposed to maintain order in, you're in for a BIG shock!”

Karen just stood there - her mouth wide open - as she struggled to take in what had just been said to her. Jeri just stood in her corner with her "cat that swallowed the canary" expression as she tried - and failed - to act like little Miss Innocent.

“Do you understand these simple instructions?” Alyssa asked Karen. “Or do I hafta draw you a fuckin’ pitchur?”

Karen had had enough lip from the little pip-squeak and shoved her out of the way.

“When I'm done with her, you're next!” Karen yelled at Alyssa through her angrily clenched teeth.

Alyssa backed off, knowing the little scene had achieved its desired affect. Instead of worrying about Jeri, Alyssa knew SHE would be on Karen's mind the rest of the fight. Alyssa couldn’t wait for Jeri's victory party to get started because she’d been promised Jeri was going to make it worthwhile for her staging the confrontation. Alyssa called for the bell and the Bunny and the Borg made their way to the center of the ring to get down to business.

Toe to toe, they squared off and started landing heavy body blows. No defenses, just an all out slugfest. After only a few blows had been exchanged it was clear to everyone Jeri was gaining the early advantage. When Karen threw her first punches, her fist hurt more with each blow she landed! Soon it was all Jeri as Karen was slowly forced back into her corner as Jeri swung at will while Karen's arms dangled limp by her sides. Knowing the match was being watched by millions, Jeri began to showboat! She wound up each fist windmill style before burying her fist into Karen's rapidly weakening belly. Soon, Jeri had Karen wedged in the corner as she stood on the bottom ropes, grabbed Karen’s hair and began pumping away to her face with right hands.

Karen was just about out on her feet when Jeri stopped punching to give her aching hand a rest. Grabbing Karen by the hair and pulling her head down and forward, Jeri powered several knees to Karen's chin before letting her drop face-first on the mat.

If at the start of the match if anyone still had any doubt of Alyssa’s impartiality, it was dispelled when she patted Jeri on the back to congratulate her on Karen's rapid destruction. McDougal fans groaned as they foresaw a long night ahead for their fav Bunny.

Jeri stepped over the fallen Bunny and kicked Karen in the side to roll her onto her belly so she could get at the zipper on the back of her bunny costume. Jeri roughly grabbed the zipper and yanked it all the way down to Karen's ass, sending her cottontail sailing over the canvas and out of the ring onto the concrete floor below where Jolene Blalock who was sitting in the front row on Ryan’s side of the ring, scooped it up and started to dramatically blot the ‘tears’ from her eyes for the cameras as she mugged and pleaded, “Boo-hoo! Oh, please Miss Ryan stop hurting me. Boo-hoo-hoo!” Then she and the pretty young Asian girl by her side broke up in peals of laughter at Karen’s plight.

Karen was yanked to her feet by her hair but she slumped forward, propped up against Jeri's right shoulder her knees rubbery. Jeri grabbed the bunny costume under each of Karen's arms and worked it from side-to-side, pulling it down past her hips to her knees.

Then Jeri slammed her shoulder forward into Karen's face, sending her crashing over backward to the mat. Standing at Karen’s feet, Jeri whipped the blue bunny costume the rest of the way off the Playmate's legs, leaving her in her thong panties, stockings and her Playmate ‘collar and cuff’ accessories.

Quickly, Jeri went to work stripping Karen who lay flat on her back with her arms flung out, her eyes unfocused and her mind dazed by the brutal beating she’d received. First, Jeri removed the stockings, draping them around Alyssa's neck like a scarf. Next, she yanked off Karen's thong and tossed it over to Jolene who caught the panties and clutched them to her face as she took a deep breath. The Star Trek actress beamed as she stretched the waistband as she pulled them over her head, wearing them like a headband.

Karen began to stir and Jeri figured she wasn’t quite ready to end the match with Karen yet. In fact, Karen’s night of hellish torment was only beginning! Again Jeri grabbed a handful of brunette hair and used it to roughly haul Karen to her feet. This time, Karen was barely able to stand on her own as Jeri took her by the wrist, pulled her forward, then spun and whipped her across the ring into the ropes. As Karen rebounded off the far side ropes, Jeri ran at her and leveled the Playmate with a nasty forearm to the face.

Karen's head snapped back with such force, her bunny ears flew off as her body flipped end over end over the top rope. She crashed to the cement floor in a position she’d found herself earlier, flat on her back. She lay with her eyes rolling around in their sockets as she tried to shoo away the birds she saw fluttering around above her head.

Karen had been in several fights, but she’d never been hit as hard as she’d just been hit. She knew something was wrong! The chair shot in the last match hadn't hurt nearly as much as Jeri's forearm smash. But while Karen was thinking, Jeri hopped down off the ring apron and swaggered over to her.

Jeri kicked Karen in the side, flipping her over on her stomach. With the brunette Playmate’s gorgeous ass upturned and vulnerable, the blonde knelt beside her and spread her ass cheeks with her right hand. Using the Borg exoskeleton of her left hand, Jeri wiggled her middle finger into Karen’s ass as she curled he thumb under and up into her pussy. Karen immediately responded, tightening every muscle in her body - but it was already too late! The Borg bitch had violated the Bunny's most intimate holes and she used her grip on them to lift the squirming brunette up holding her with one hand like a bowling ball. The move was designed to be about 20% painful but a full 80% plus on the Playboy Mansion Fight Club Humiliation scale.

Jeri’s next move, however, was just the opposite. She held the Playmate’s body about halfway up so that her big breasts were barely brushing the mat as she swung her arm. Holding her elevated in that position, Jeri stomped down on the underside of Karen's breasts, pinning them to the floor with her boot as Karen screamed in pain and tried to plant her palms on the floor to raise her torso enough to escape.

But Jeri wasn’t done with her yet! She shifted all her weight to the foot on Karen’s boob as the Playmate screamed bloody murder. Unlike the bowling ball grip, this one was at least 110% on the pain scale. After several moment of grinding her boot and squashing Karen's breast on the cement, Jeri used her Borg enhanced hand to claw away at the Bunny's bare bottom! Finally, she stepped off the black and blue boob and tossed her legs down, rolling the weeping Karen onto her back. With Karen out on the floor and not going anywhere - at least for a while - Jeri began playing around with Alyssa Milano for the benefit of the cameras.

"I'm Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, if you don't stop right now you're going to have to fight me!"

Both women had a good laugh.

“You better watch out Alyssa, when she's done with me, you're her next target!”

Again the two women were having a good old time at the bunny's expense.

Jolene jumped up and got into the picture, joining in on the laughter and jokes. Soon, all three were planning their victory party which would begin immediately after the match. Jolene suggested they take Karen along with them to party.

“I really like the way she smells,” Jolene laughed, holding her nose. “We could have some free entertainment, pin the tail on the Playmate and stuff like that!”

All three agreed the night's activities could be a lot more interesting with Karen there. So Jeri turned her attention back to Karen and went back over to the fallen bunny. She stood over Karen and once again leaned down to grab her by the hair. But this time, Jeri was met with a heel to the temple that dropped her to her knees with a stunned expression on her beautiful face. Jolene jumped through the ropes and ran to aid her friend. She was halfway to Jeri and Karen when Jennifer Garner leaped out of the audience and hit a perfect spear, dropping her to the floor.

By then, Karen was on her feet and delivering knees to the side of Jeri's head. It was left to Alyssa to come to Jeri’s rescue and as she charged at Karen from behind, she was intercepted by Jill Hennessy who prevented the blind-side attack. Jill and Alyssa rolled on the floor, scratching, pulling hair and screaming at the tops of the lungs as the main event went on behind them.

It was now Jeri’s turn to be stripped as Karen tore away the Borg outfit. She noticed how heavy Jeri’s costume felt as she ripped it off the blonde. Jeri tried to stand, but Karen stomped down between her legs and the pussy punishing punt bought her some added time.

Upon examination, Karen found that Jeri had sewn ballistic panels and padding into most of her costume. The crotch and breasts had hard plastic protective cups sewn in like those of a baseball catcher. But that wasn’t all. The knees, elbows and forearms also had panels with lead pellets sown in to make them like the "loaded" gloves worn by police tactical units. Now Karen understood why her first punches had no effect and how Jeri damn near took off her head with her forearm smash.

“Why you cheatin’ whore!” was all that came out of Karen's mouth before she did a knee drop to Jeri's belly.

She straddled Jeri’s waist, pinning her arms at her sides, then began pummeling Jeri's face and tits with both fists. The ‘fight’ was now all Karen and her fans, silent until now, went wild!

The small, but tough, Alyssa Milano finally finished off Jill Hennessy and came slamming into Karen from behind. Using Karen's own stocking that she still had around her neck, Alyssa wrapped them around Karen’s throat with the ends in her two fists. Pulling tight, she was able to completely circle the Bunny's neck cutting off her oxygen. Karen’s face was rapidly turning red and she was completely helpless as Alyssa maintained the choke as she dragged the Playmate off of Jeri.

As Karen weakened, Alyssa began shaking her back and forth, increasing the pressure of her choke as she did. Just then, Jill Hennessy had regained her senses and resumed her attack on Alyssa, breaking her choke hold on Karen just as she was about to pass out!

Karen freed her neck from the nylon noose and struggled to restore normal breathing. But Jeri had used the break in the action to her advantage and was now back on her feet and moving toward the brunette. Karen had just struggled to all fours when the blonde lashed out with a vicious kick to her free-swinging breast - flattening it between the toe of her boot and Karen's chest.

For the fourth time that night, Karen was knocked flat on her back, staring up at the stars in the nighttime sky. But worst off all, as her eyes began to focus, Karen looked right into Jeri’s evil eyes as she stood over her like a coiled snake ready to strike. Jeri grabbed Karen’s hair and pulled her over on her stomach, then jerked Karen to her knees facing her.

Bending down and putting her lips to Karen's ear, she growled, "You're gonna be my bitch tonight! You're going to service me and each and every one of my friends at my victory party. How about a little preview for the folks at home, huh?"

Jeri forced Karen’s face into her sweaty crotch and squeezed her thighs against her cheeks. Karen was repulsed as she struggled to free herself from Jeri and strained just to get a breath of air.

Jeri snatched her head back and said, “Oh come on, slut! You can do better then that! Stick out your tongue and put your heart into it! Just pretend it’s another Playmate like Cady Cantrell or Diana Lee. I hear you like them just fine!”

But just as Jeri tightened her grip in an effort to force Karen's face back into it’s pussy prison, Karen’s right fist came up from the floor and scored a direct hit directly between Jeri's pussy lips. The CRUNCH sound it made was so melodic that Karen decided to repeat the move. And she did - five more times! When Karen stopped punching, Jeri toppled over like a huge blonde tree felled by a tough brunette lumberjack.

As Karen crawled on top of Jeri, Jill Hennessy dragged Alyssa over by the hair and threw her on the mat next to them, telling her, "Do your fucking job….referee!"

Karen climbed onto Jeri’s chest for the pin and Alyssa counted Jeri out. As Karen rolled over and lay on the floor with her head resting on Jeri’s big, soft, heaving breasts, she looked up and thanked her friends for watching her back. Then she told Jill to release Alyssa.

“Don't think I’ve forgotten about you, bitch!” Karen said.

She went on to take Alyssa apart piece by piece, then strip her of her leather catsuit. She then placed her in a sixty-nine position with Jeri’s unconscious body, then rubbed their faces into the other's crotch.

“There, you two deserve each other! I hope you both enjoy the ‘victory party’, you fuckin’ losers!”

Jolene Blalock was still struggling with Jennifer Garner, trying to come to the aid of her friends so Karen walked over and lined her up. Just as Jennifer released Jolene, Karen dropped her with a steel chair to the back of her head.

“And don't think I forgot about you and your chair shot either, honey!” Karen snarled while Jill Hennessy went over to Jeri Ryan’s body and took some overdue satisfaction of her own.

The moral of this story is ‘Pay Back Is A Bitch!’